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00:00:00,502 --> 00:00:01,603
[creaking]
2
00:00:06,841 --> 00:00:09,076
[crackling]
3
00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:15,783
[uneasy music]
4
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:23,074
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[suspenseful music]
6
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[male voice echoing]
Step right up.
7
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,720
[clock ticking]
8
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,162
[door creaks]
9
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:03,731
[footsteps approaching]
10
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:10,404
[door creaking]
11
00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:30,658
[clock ticking]
12
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:36,096
[ominous music]
13
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,540
[woman over phone]
Alana, I knowthat you're scared.
14
00:01:46,007 --> 00:01:49,911
You're probably thinking,"Why is God doing this to me?
15
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,446
What did I do to deserve this?"
16
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:57,785
And, you know,sometimes God challenges us
17
00:01:57,919 --> 00:02:00,153
to bring us to our highest self.
18
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:04,191
We just want you to knowthat we love you so much.
19
00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:07,427
We love you so much, Jellybean.
20
00:02:07,862 --> 00:02:10,464
And we can't waitto get our daughter back.
21
00:02:11,065 --> 00:02:12,667
[sobbing]
22
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,268
[ominous music]
23
00:02:23,745 --> 00:02:25,713
[sobbing]
24
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:31,119
[clock ticking]
25
00:02:51,139 --> 00:02:54,075
[Alana sobbing]
I break myself from everyspirit of sexual perversion
26
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:55,777
in the name of Jesus.
27
00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:58,680
I release myselffrom every spiritual pollution
28
00:02:58,813 --> 00:03:00,915
emanating from my past sinsof fornication
29
00:03:01,049 --> 00:03:03,518
and sexual immoralityin Jesus's name.
30
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:08,022
I release myself fromevery ancestral pollutionin the name of Jesus.
31
00:03:08,156 --> 00:03:12,392
I release myselffrom every dream's pollutionin the name of Jesus.
32
00:03:12,527 --> 00:03:15,963
Every spiritof sexual perversionworking against my life,
33
00:03:16,097 --> 00:03:18,800
be paralyzed,and get out of my life!
34
00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:22,469
Every demonof sexual perversionassigned to my life,
35
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,106
be bound in the name of Jesus!
36
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:28,643
Oh, Lord, let the fireof sexual perversion
37
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:32,847
oppressing my lifereceive the fire of God!
38
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[continues sobbing]
39
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:42,590
In the name,in the name of Jesus.
40
00:03:46,194 --> 00:03:47,729
[man]
So, why don't we, uh...
41
00:03:47,862 --> 00:03:51,132
-Do you want to be Pat or Trick?
-[boy] Huh?
42
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,134
[man]
We're both named Patrick.
43
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:56,838
So I was thinking I could be Pat
and you could be Trick.
44
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:58,706
Does that sound okay to you?
45
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,743
[clock ticking]
46
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,814
[Pat sips, gulps]
47
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:28,970
[inhales]
48
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:34,876
Patrick Sherman,
October 22nd, 9:59 a.m.
49
00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:42,349
First interview
with Patrick Ableman.
50
00:04:46,187 --> 00:04:47,789
Okay, Trick...
51
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,625
...how are you feeling?
52
00:04:52,093 --> 00:04:53,460
Fine.
53
00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:57,464
How are you feeling?
54
00:05:04,172 --> 00:05:08,943
I can do this all on my own,
but it'll go much faster
if you help me out.
55
00:05:11,546 --> 00:05:13,080
So, how are you feeling?
56
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:15,750
Nervous.
57
00:05:16,217 --> 00:05:17,350
Hey.
58
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:18,786
Progress.
59
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:21,155
No need to be nervous.
60
00:05:21,289 --> 00:05:22,924
How do you know my parents?
61
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:24,992
[snickers] I don't.
62
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,861
Not socially.
63
00:05:27,929 --> 00:05:31,098
They called me because I have
some experience in this area.
64
00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:33,601
Fixing people?
65
00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:38,706
I don't think
you need fixing, Trick.
66
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,944
I think you were fine
just the way you are.
67
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:52,352
Look... [sighs]
if you don't want to be here,
68
00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:54,589
you just say the word,
and I'll take you home
right now.
69
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:57,058
Okay, I would like
to go home now, please.
70
00:05:57,191 --> 00:06:00,928
But I think you should know
that your parents
are really concerned.
71
00:06:01,062 --> 00:06:03,197
-And if you continue
acting out...
-Right.
72
00:06:03,331 --> 00:06:05,800
-...I'm sure I don't
have to tell you...
-No.
73
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:07,768
...that I am the nice version
of this.
74
00:06:07,902 --> 00:06:10,137
-I get that.
-Yeah.
75
00:06:10,271 --> 00:06:12,840
[breath trembles]
76
00:06:14,175 --> 00:06:15,442
Okay.
77
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,745
Okay.
78
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,849
Just one question.
79
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:24,919
Are you happy?
80
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,688
No.
81
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,526
Why is that?
82
00:06:41,936 --> 00:06:45,640
[sighs] Your mom says
a lot of your friends are girls.
83
00:06:48,943 --> 00:06:49,977
I guess.
84
00:06:51,045 --> 00:06:53,547
Do you think
that's healthy for a young man?
85
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:56,884
I don't know.
86
00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:00,054
They're nice to me.
87
00:07:01,289 --> 00:07:02,657
Sure.
88
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:05,626
Life isn't always about
doing what's easy, Trick.
89
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:13,901
Your parents love you so much.
90
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,637
They just want you to be happy.
91
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:20,741
Don't you want that too?
92
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:23,678
I want to be happy.
93
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:25,379
Yeah, and to be
part of a family.
94
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,114
[sobs] Yeah.
95
00:07:27,248 --> 00:07:29,717
-And the community
of the church.
-[sobs]
96
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:34,055
You know, um,
I talked to everybody
over there...
97
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:39,560
...and you are just
the absolute golden boy.
98
00:07:39,694 --> 00:07:42,096
[chuckles] Everybody loves you.
99
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:50,171
And love in this world
is precious.
100
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:52,707
It is limited.
101
00:07:55,176 --> 00:07:56,911
You cannot waste it.
102
00:07:58,212 --> 00:08:02,516
I have seen some people
walk the road you're walking,
103
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:06,821
and... there's not
a lot of love there.
104
00:08:11,092 --> 00:08:12,159
[tuts]
105
00:08:15,830 --> 00:08:20,968
If there were a pill
that could magically fix this,
106
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,004
would you take it?
107
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,541
There isn't.
108
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:31,612
But if there was,
wouldn't it make
things easier? [snickers]
109
00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:33,714
But there isn't.
110
00:08:33,848 --> 00:08:35,916
Being gay
is a lonely life, Trick.
111
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:39,653
My heart goes out
to young homosexuals everywhere.
112
00:08:40,121 --> 00:08:43,624
The violence and the bullying
that they experience
113
00:08:44,158 --> 00:08:45,793
is inexcusable.
114
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,796
But it is avoidable.
115
00:08:49,430 --> 00:08:51,298
You're what, 17?
116
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:56,370
Scientifically speaking,
your sexuality hasn't set yet.
117
00:08:56,505 --> 00:08:57,772
You're still developing.
118
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:04,278
And that is good news
if you want a normal life.
119
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:07,081
And not just a normal life.
120
00:09:10,351 --> 00:09:15,356
Look, I'm not
a big hell kind of guy,
but, you know, gay folk...
121
00:09:16,357 --> 00:09:18,926
...they just don't go to heaven.
They just don't.
122
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:21,262
Leviticus. Genesis.
123
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,230
Can I have my phone back now?
124
00:09:26,267 --> 00:09:27,201
[scoffs]
125
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,170
Well...
126
00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:31,839
Okay.
127
00:09:33,274 --> 00:09:34,275
Okay.
128
00:09:37,512 --> 00:09:40,515
You're lucky
I'm such a nice guy. [chuckles]
129
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:42,883
[pensive music]
130
00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:25,726
[muted]
131
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,764
[birds chirping]
132
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:14,375
And done.
133
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,211
Amazing job, dude. High five.
134
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,813
[Trick panting]
135
00:11:20,582 --> 00:11:22,183
Oh, okay. Here's what you do.
136
00:11:22,316 --> 00:11:25,119
Stand up straight.
Hands behind your head.
137
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,589
Really open up your lungs.
138
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,323
[Trick panting]
139
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,826
You'll recover faster.
140
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:36,430
[Trick exhales]
141
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,299
Learned that playing D1 at Yale.
142
00:11:38,933 --> 00:11:41,168
[Trick playing guitar]
143
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:51,478
[Trick]
♪ What a fellowship ♪
144
00:11:51,613 --> 00:11:55,783
♪ What a joy divine ♪
145
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,786
♪ Leaning on ♪
146
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:05,159
♪ The everlasting arms ♪
147
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:10,030
♪ What a blessedness ♪
148
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:14,368
♪ What a peace is mine ♪
149
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,639
♪ Leaning on ♪
150
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:24,679
♪ The everlasting arms ♪
151
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,715
[water running]
152
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:31,085
♪ Leaning, leaning ♪
153
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:32,920
♪ Leaning-- ♪
154
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,189
[Pat]
♪ Leaning onthe everlasting arms ♪
155
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:38,660
♪ Safe and secure... ♪
156
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:42,463
[Trick continues indistinctly]
157
00:12:42,597 --> 00:12:44,832
[insects chirping]
158
00:12:54,341 --> 00:13:00,715
♪ Oh, how sweet to walkin this pilgrim way ♪
159
00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:06,453
♪ Leaning onthe everlasting arms ♪
160
00:13:06,588 --> 00:13:13,093
♪ Oh, how bright the pathgrows from day to day ♪
161
00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:18,499
♪ Leaning onthe everlasting arms ♪
162
00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:21,101
♪ Leaning ♪
163
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,312
♪ Leaning ♪
164
00:13:31,713 --> 00:13:37,585
♪ Safe and securefrom all alarms ♪
165
00:13:41,322 --> 00:13:46,293
♪ Leaning onthe everlasting arms ♪
166
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:51,432
♪ Leaning, leaning ♪
167
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:55,936
♪ Safe and secure from... ♪
168
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,044
[ominous music]
169
00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:15,517
[sighs] Today, we're going
to talk about honesty.
170
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:22,022
You remember I asked you
if you had any sexual encounters
171
00:15:22,156 --> 00:15:25,459
with other boys,
and you said no.
172
00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:33,367
Were you telling the truth?
173
00:15:44,813 --> 00:15:48,482
"I want to take your cock
down my throat
until I can't breathe.
174
00:15:50,585 --> 00:15:51,619
Daddy."
175
00:15:53,655 --> 00:15:54,889
It's not a big deal.
176
00:15:55,690 --> 00:15:58,726
Okay, cool.
I'll just send these
to your mom, then.
177
00:15:59,727 --> 00:16:03,063
Relax. I'm not going to do that.
We have confidentiality here.
178
00:16:04,465 --> 00:16:06,200
What do you want me to do?
179
00:16:08,503 --> 00:16:12,072
I want you to say
as honestly as you can...
180
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,642
...that you are lost.
181
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:20,347
I'm lost.
182
00:16:21,883 --> 00:16:23,050
Again.
183
00:16:24,752 --> 00:16:26,220
I'm lost.
184
00:16:27,522 --> 00:16:30,123
Say that you don't
know yourself.
185
00:16:30,658 --> 00:16:31,926
I don't know myself.
186
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,628
Say that you're a liar.
187
00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:35,996
I'm a liar.
188
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:37,532
Who'd you lie to?
189
00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:39,734
I lied to you.
190
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,468
Yeah. Who else?
191
00:16:42,770 --> 00:16:44,037
Myself.
192
00:16:45,773 --> 00:16:48,108
Why did you lie?
193
00:16:48,242 --> 00:16:49,409
I don't know.
194
00:16:49,777 --> 00:16:54,214
You lied because you were trying
to justify your sin.
195
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:58,987
-[tearfully] Okay.
-Say it.
196
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:04,024
I lied to justify my sin.
[breath trembling]
197
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,793
What did you do?
198
00:17:06,528 --> 00:17:09,864
[crying] I told Derek
I wanted to suck his penis.
199
00:17:10,264 --> 00:17:13,033
-Say you need help.
-[crying] I need help.
200
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:14,836
There you go.
Beg me to help you.
201
00:17:14,969 --> 00:17:17,237
-[crying]
-On your knees!
202
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:25,747
[serene music]
203
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,552
Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
204
00:18:04,686 --> 00:18:06,420
[panting] Stop.
205
00:18:09,057 --> 00:18:10,324
I need to stop.
206
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,729
We're still a good mile short.
207
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:18,265
I can't carry this anymore.
208
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,536
[panting]
209
00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:39,319
Why am I making you do this?
210
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,291
Because the weight of the rocks
211
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,794
is like the weight
of a life of sin.
212
00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:52,767
And that weight
doesn't get any lighter,
213
00:18:53,835 --> 00:18:54,902
does it?
214
00:18:57,538 --> 00:18:59,574
In fact... [clears throat]
215
00:19:01,109 --> 00:19:03,611
...oh, boy, it gets heavier.
216
00:19:09,050 --> 00:19:10,450
[Pat grunts]
217
00:19:19,694 --> 00:19:23,631
-[ominous music]
-[thunder rumbling]
218
00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:27,635
[pen rasping]
219
00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:39,179
[ominous music]
220
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:45,620
[voices whispering indistinctly]
221
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,725
[ominous music]
222
00:20:41,142 --> 00:20:42,476
[somber music]
223
00:20:42,610 --> 00:20:44,011
[Pat]
Mm-mm.
224
00:20:57,692 --> 00:20:59,459
There are pages ripped out.
225
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:10,505
[clock ticking]
226
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:33,594
Come on, bud,
I'm starving here. [sighs]
227
00:21:37,965 --> 00:21:40,701
All right, that, that's enough.
That's enough.
228
00:21:55,650 --> 00:21:56,918
-You know--
-What?
229
00:21:57,552 --> 00:22:01,923
You know,
there are many churches
that just don't care anymore.
230
00:22:03,624 --> 00:22:05,425
There are gay pastors.
231
00:22:07,728 --> 00:22:09,462
Do you think
we should be like that?
232
00:22:12,399 --> 00:22:13,701
Maybe.
233
00:22:14,635 --> 00:22:18,306
Sure, we could... [swallows]
234
00:22:18,438 --> 00:22:19,841
...make concessions.
235
00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:24,679
A lot more people
into the whole
Joel Osteen thing.
236
00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:27,882
Hey, we could
put in carnival rides.
237
00:22:28,616 --> 00:22:30,350
That's not what I'm saying.
238
00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:38,192
I know how badly
you want to be accepted
for who you think you are.
239
00:22:38,559 --> 00:22:40,294
And nothing
would make me happier
240
00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:42,129
than to throw open
the doors and say,
241
00:22:42,263 --> 00:22:46,067
"Come on in, be gay, whatever."
242
00:22:46,801 --> 00:22:50,004
But every concession
to the outside world
243
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:53,541
costs a little bit of our souls.
244
00:22:53,674 --> 00:22:55,977
Makes us a little less distinct.
245
00:22:57,511 --> 00:23:00,014
Makes it mean less
to be one of us.
246
00:23:01,616 --> 00:23:05,553
And the easiest concessions
cost most of all.
247
00:23:08,122 --> 00:23:10,091
But why is it wrong?
248
00:23:12,226 --> 00:23:13,728
It's in the book.
249
00:23:15,062 --> 00:23:18,900
-Well, why does the book
say it's wrong?
-I don't know, bud.
250
00:23:23,271 --> 00:23:24,705
I don't need to know.
251
00:23:34,548 --> 00:23:36,584
[clock ticking]
252
00:23:43,524 --> 00:23:45,893
[rustling]
253
00:23:53,466 --> 00:23:55,369
[suspenseful music]
254
00:23:55,503 --> 00:23:59,040
[door opens and closes]
255
00:24:19,260 --> 00:24:21,662
[door opens and closes]
256
00:24:26,901 --> 00:24:29,136
[suspenseful music]
257
00:24:51,625 --> 00:24:53,694
[breath trembling]
258
00:24:56,496 --> 00:24:57,765
[Alana sniffles]
259
00:24:58,599 --> 00:25:00,301
[breath trembling]
260
00:25:00,434 --> 00:25:01,736
[sniffles]
261
00:25:04,405 --> 00:25:06,007
Do you know what this is?
262
00:25:09,777 --> 00:25:11,879
Does this look
like Tylenol to you?
263
00:25:14,081 --> 00:25:15,850
[sighs, gulps]
264
00:25:17,785 --> 00:25:19,754
[sniffling] Forty-four...
265
00:25:21,689 --> 00:25:24,058
[crying]
266
00:25:24,191 --> 00:25:25,226
...forty-five...
267
00:25:25,993 --> 00:25:27,094
[gulps]
268
00:25:30,197 --> 00:25:31,265
Forty-six.
269
00:25:31,732 --> 00:25:34,735
-[suspenseful music]
-[Trick gasping]
270
00:25:39,306 --> 00:25:41,709
That was really stupid.
271
00:25:43,277 --> 00:25:45,613
[sighs]
Where were you even going to go?
272
00:25:45,746 --> 00:25:46,914
[locks door]
273
00:25:49,216 --> 00:25:50,217
Huh?
274
00:25:53,254 --> 00:25:55,689
And what am I
going to tell your parents?
275
00:25:58,659 --> 00:26:00,661
-Tell them what you want--
-Hey!
276
00:26:01,530 --> 00:26:04,899
That attitude doesn't cut
any fucking ice with me, okay?
277
00:26:08,436 --> 00:26:10,671
[somber music]
278
00:26:15,476 --> 00:26:17,044
[strumming]
279
00:26:37,631 --> 00:26:39,800
[leaves rustling, crunching]
280
00:27:40,629 --> 00:27:42,696
"I'm so scared of hell.
281
00:27:44,298 --> 00:27:45,966
The only reason
I don't kill myself
282
00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:48,169
is because
I'm so scared of hell."
283
00:27:54,842 --> 00:27:56,710
[inhales deeply]
284
00:28:00,948 --> 00:28:02,683
Do you think I'm an idiot?
285
00:28:03,784 --> 00:28:05,386
-[sucks teeth]
-No.
286
00:28:06,754 --> 00:28:09,456
So, what, I find these pages
conveniently sticking,
287
00:28:10,191 --> 00:28:12,293
sticking out
from under a rock...
288
00:28:13,894 --> 00:28:16,030
...and I rush you home.
That was the plan?
289
00:28:16,931 --> 00:28:19,133
-There was no plan.
-Bullshit!
290
00:28:31,946 --> 00:28:33,113
Get up.
291
00:28:34,415 --> 00:28:37,952
-[Trick grunting]
-[Pat] Men do not use
cheap schemes or manipulation.
292
00:28:38,085 --> 00:28:40,287
-Men fight. Come on.
-[Trick grunting]
293
00:28:40,421 --> 00:28:41,956
Combat. Survival.
294
00:28:42,089 --> 00:28:44,091
-Tap into it. Come on, Trick!
-[groans]
295
00:28:44,225 --> 00:28:46,360
We're in the arena.
Here come the lions!
296
00:28:46,493 --> 00:28:48,729
[Trick panting]
297
00:28:55,202 --> 00:28:59,073
[clears throat]
Man, those lions would
eat you up real quick, huh?
298
00:29:01,842 --> 00:29:03,444
What's wrong with you?
299
00:29:05,412 --> 00:29:06,447
Nothing.
300
00:29:07,716 --> 00:29:09,116
Do you like this?
301
00:29:10,719 --> 00:29:12,753
Do you like hurting people?
302
00:29:15,089 --> 00:29:19,026
If Jesus were alive,
he would never forgive you.
303
00:29:22,530 --> 00:29:23,598
Trick...
304
00:29:24,699 --> 00:29:27,901
-...I have not lied to you...
-[breathing heavily]
305
00:29:28,035 --> 00:29:31,105
...nor misrepresented
my faith once.
306
00:29:31,972 --> 00:29:33,307
Not once.
307
00:29:35,843 --> 00:29:39,113
I am here
because I genuinely believe
308
00:29:39,246 --> 00:29:42,983
that I am saving your soul
from an eternity of torment.
309
00:29:45,185 --> 00:29:48,088
I really believe that, okay?
I promise.
310
00:29:54,461 --> 00:29:56,430
Now, I think
you owe me an apology.
311
00:30:03,037 --> 00:30:06,440
Trick... apologize.
312
00:30:06,907 --> 00:30:09,143
[Trick shudders]
313
00:30:11,912 --> 00:30:13,213
Stand up.
314
00:30:16,050 --> 00:30:18,018
[sighs]
Maybe you don't need therapy.
315
00:30:18,152 --> 00:30:20,487
Maybe you need
some outside stimulus.
316
00:30:23,957 --> 00:30:25,926
-[Trick grunts softly]
-What are you going
to do about it?
317
00:30:26,060 --> 00:30:27,194
-Stop.
-Come on.
318
00:30:27,328 --> 00:30:28,730
-Stop.
-What are you going to do?
319
00:30:28,862 --> 00:30:30,230
-Stop.
-I'm not hitting you.
320
00:30:30,364 --> 00:30:32,099
We're fighting.
Come on. Come on!
321
00:30:32,966 --> 00:30:35,035
What are you
going to do about it?
Come on, Trick!
322
00:30:35,169 --> 00:30:37,071
-S--
-Come on!
323
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:40,374
[exhales]
324
00:30:43,911 --> 00:30:45,212
Where's your fight?
325
00:30:46,146 --> 00:30:48,148
-Come on.
-Go ahead.
326
00:30:50,050 --> 00:30:51,586
Do whatever you want.
327
00:30:56,990 --> 00:30:58,258
[Trick thuds]
328
00:31:04,164 --> 00:31:06,367
What am I going to do
with you, Patrick?
329
00:31:07,635 --> 00:31:08,536
[sighs]
330
00:31:12,139 --> 00:31:15,376
[somber music]
331
00:31:50,377 --> 00:31:52,079
[Pat]
I just don't know what to do.
332
00:31:52,212 --> 00:31:54,314
He's fighting me on everything.
333
00:31:54,982 --> 00:31:58,152
[man over phone]
Have you tried aversion?
334
00:32:00,087 --> 00:32:05,359
[Pat]
I thought we weren't, uh...allowed to do that anymore.
335
00:32:06,427 --> 00:32:08,696
[man]
Well, I guess that's true,
336
00:32:08,830 --> 00:32:12,600
but... [chuckles] ...we areon a razor's edge out here.
337
00:32:13,333 --> 00:32:16,370
If this goes south,I don't thinkyou're gonna have a job.
338
00:32:17,337 --> 00:32:20,608
But, you know,do what you think is right.
339
00:32:42,095 --> 00:32:43,430
[tape rips]
340
00:32:55,944 --> 00:32:57,244
[Pat]
Where have you been?
341
00:33:03,984 --> 00:33:05,285
[Trick hesitates]
Nowhere.
342
00:33:11,191 --> 00:33:12,326
Okay.
343
00:33:17,197 --> 00:33:18,432
Well...
344
00:33:21,603 --> 00:33:23,838
...I know I've been
a little hard on you lately.
345
00:33:24,606 --> 00:33:26,741
I figured you deserve
something special.
346
00:33:35,148 --> 00:33:37,785
So, uh, tell me something.
347
00:33:39,286 --> 00:33:40,354
[Trick]
Hm.
348
00:33:41,421 --> 00:33:43,758
Something different.
Nothing about sex.
349
00:33:44,826 --> 00:33:46,193
Nothing about God.
350
00:33:46,326 --> 00:33:48,596
Just, um, uh...
351
00:33:51,799 --> 00:33:53,601
What do you want to be
when you grow up?
352
00:33:56,169 --> 00:33:58,272
So, um...
353
00:34:00,140 --> 00:34:03,678
...I always thought
it would be kind of cool
to work, like...
354
00:34:04,579 --> 00:34:08,315
-...in, like art conservation
and restoration.
-[snickers]
355
00:34:09,918 --> 00:34:11,385
Oh, what's that entail?
356
00:34:12,219 --> 00:34:14,689
So, um...
357
00:34:15,790 --> 00:34:18,993
...this guy from the MET
came to our class
to talk about how
358
00:34:19,727 --> 00:34:22,597
-complicated it was
to do art exhibits.
-Mm.
359
00:34:22,730 --> 00:34:27,301
Like, you have to conceive it,
find money,
360
00:34:27,434 --> 00:34:30,270
ask other museums
to donate their stuff,
361
00:34:30,905 --> 00:34:36,343
transport it, inspect it
from both ends,
like, get insurance.
362
00:34:36,476 --> 00:34:41,315
Like, the whole thing
is really complicated.
363
00:34:42,650 --> 00:34:46,854
Transportation is really hard.
You have to be really gentle.
364
00:34:51,559 --> 00:34:53,460
Uh, you know, I know, um,
365
00:34:53,595 --> 00:34:55,997
a couple of guys
at the county museum. [snickers]
366
00:34:56,129 --> 00:34:58,933
It's not the MET, but, uh,
maybe we could get you
367
00:34:59,067 --> 00:35:03,103
-an internship or something.
-Oh, I don't want an internship.
368
00:35:03,236 --> 00:35:04,739
-Or--
-Why do you do that?
369
00:35:06,373 --> 00:35:08,175
You kind of turtle up.
370
00:35:11,178 --> 00:35:12,547
Do you get bullied?
371
00:35:15,115 --> 00:35:16,483
Oh, yeah.
372
00:35:18,586 --> 00:35:21,154
-Everyone does.
-Mm-mm.
373
00:35:21,689 --> 00:35:22,890
I never did.
374
00:35:25,026 --> 00:35:26,259
What happens?
375
00:35:28,328 --> 00:35:29,564
So, um...
376
00:35:31,966 --> 00:35:35,970
...there's like these,
these main group of dudes
who are all like, uh...
377
00:35:36,104 --> 00:35:37,939
[breath trembling]
378
00:35:38,072 --> 00:35:39,741
...really intense.
379
00:35:39,874 --> 00:35:41,208
And, uh...
380
00:35:42,543 --> 00:35:44,879
...they do things
that are like, um...
381
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,149
-It's all right.
-[crying] ...really intense,
and, like...
382
00:35:49,584 --> 00:35:51,385
[sniffles] And I don't think
383
00:35:51,519 --> 00:35:54,055
that I come off as gay
or anything, but...
384
00:35:54,187 --> 00:35:57,424
[crying]
385
00:35:58,325 --> 00:35:59,727
...I can't help it.
386
00:36:01,596 --> 00:36:04,498
And I try to avoid them
at school.
387
00:36:06,034 --> 00:36:09,737
And you probably don't know this
about Saint Mark's.
388
00:36:09,871 --> 00:36:14,307
It's actually a really...
[crying] ...fascinating school.
389
00:36:14,441 --> 00:36:17,712
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
It's okay, it's okay,
it's okay, it's okay.
390
00:36:17,845 --> 00:36:19,814
-Don't worry about it.
-[sobbing]
391
00:36:35,328 --> 00:36:36,731
Hey.
392
00:36:36,864 --> 00:36:38,099
Hey, can we, um...
393
00:36:38,498 --> 00:36:40,200
Can we not talk about it?
394
00:36:41,069 --> 00:36:42,302
I wasn't gonna.
395
00:36:42,436 --> 00:36:44,672
Okay. 'Cause, y-- you know,
396
00:36:44,806 --> 00:36:46,841
I'm actually feeling
much better now.
397
00:36:47,875 --> 00:36:49,177
-You are?
-Yeah.
398
00:36:49,309 --> 00:36:51,646
I mean, about the gay stuff.
399
00:36:51,779 --> 00:36:56,150
Like, I, I was just thinking
that maybe this kind of worked.
400
00:36:56,283 --> 00:37:00,420
Like, I was just thinking
that maybe this kind of worked.
401
00:37:03,091 --> 00:37:04,324
Okay.
402
00:37:04,458 --> 00:37:06,493
Yeah, I mean, genuinely, like,
403
00:37:07,128 --> 00:37:09,130
I don't... I think about guys,
404
00:37:09,262 --> 00:37:12,834
and I don't feel
or want anything, so,
405
00:37:13,568 --> 00:37:17,004
yeah, may, maybe we can
go back home now?
406
00:37:21,743 --> 00:37:23,945
Are you being honest, Patrick?
407
00:37:25,913 --> 00:37:27,347
Okay, we can...
408
00:37:29,183 --> 00:37:31,953
...we can stay here
for another day,
if that's what you want.
409
00:37:32,086 --> 00:37:33,320
[Pat sighs]
410
00:37:34,722 --> 00:37:39,093
Actually... I want to try
something a little different.
411
00:37:39,660 --> 00:37:41,796
Are you familiar
with aversion therapy?
412
00:37:43,898 --> 00:37:44,799
No worries.
413
00:37:46,100 --> 00:37:47,668
Drink this, please.
414
00:37:48,202 --> 00:37:49,402
What is it?
415
00:37:51,072 --> 00:37:55,308
If you drink this,
I will take you home tonight.
416
00:37:57,011 --> 00:37:57,979
[exhales]
417
00:38:11,092 --> 00:38:12,325
[exhales]
418
00:38:14,394 --> 00:38:15,863
It's called ipecac.
419
00:38:16,396 --> 00:38:17,765
It's an emetic.
420
00:38:24,172 --> 00:38:25,540
What are you doing?
421
00:38:26,007 --> 00:38:26,774
[Pat sighs]
422
00:38:27,474 --> 00:38:30,545
I really value
what you were sharing
with me earlier.
423
00:38:32,713 --> 00:38:38,519
Your job now is to not let
what's about to happen
jeopardize our closeness.
424
00:38:38,953 --> 00:38:40,021
Okay?
425
00:38:41,622 --> 00:38:42,990
How are you feeling?
426
00:38:43,490 --> 00:38:45,126
My tongue feels numb.
427
00:38:45,660 --> 00:38:47,895
[Trick panting]
428
00:38:55,937 --> 00:38:58,371
[Pat]
Into the tub, please.
There you go.
429
00:39:00,041 --> 00:39:01,008
There you go.
430
00:39:03,077 --> 00:39:04,212
[Trick groans]
431
00:39:04,344 --> 00:39:05,880
[panting]
432
00:39:07,380 --> 00:39:08,683
What's an emetic?
433
00:39:10,417 --> 00:39:13,688
It is a gastric irritant.
434
00:39:16,023 --> 00:39:17,959
How are we doing?
You feeling it?
435
00:39:18,092 --> 00:39:19,827
-[panting]
-Yeah.
436
00:39:27,535 --> 00:39:28,936
[coughs]
437
00:39:32,573 --> 00:39:35,375
[moaning on video]
438
00:39:42,415 --> 00:39:44,085
[indistinct talking on video]
439
00:39:49,489 --> 00:39:50,758
Eyes up, kiddo.
440
00:39:51,525 --> 00:39:54,295
Yeah. Eyes up. Eyes open.
Come on. Come on.
441
00:39:54,795 --> 00:39:55,963
-Come on. Open--
-I can't.
442
00:39:56,097 --> 00:39:57,965
Yes, you can.
There you go. That's it.
443
00:39:58,099 --> 00:39:59,934
-That's good. Look.
-It hurts.
444
00:40:01,802 --> 00:40:04,005
-Is this what you want?
-[men moaning on video]
445
00:40:06,007 --> 00:40:07,541
Good, good. You're doing good.
446
00:40:07,675 --> 00:40:09,476
Is this what you want?
447
00:40:10,111 --> 00:40:11,178
Is this what you want?
448
00:40:11,312 --> 00:40:12,313
[crying] Stop!
449
00:40:12,445 --> 00:40:14,782
Don't ask me, Trick. Ask God.
450
00:40:14,916 --> 00:40:16,851
-Please!
-Ask him, Trick.
451
00:40:16,984 --> 00:40:18,953
-I'm sorry!
-Is this what you want?
452
00:40:19,086 --> 00:40:22,990
-[Trick crying]
-[men moaning on video]
453
00:40:23,124 --> 00:40:24,592
Open your eyes, Patrick.
454
00:40:24,725 --> 00:40:27,028
Open your eyes. Open your eyes.
455
00:40:27,595 --> 00:40:30,231
-Eyes open, Patrick!
-[Trick sobbing]
456
00:40:30,364 --> 00:40:34,035
Hell is not a game.
This is a spa treatment
compared to hell.
457
00:40:34,168 --> 00:40:36,837
-I'm so sorry!
-Are you planning
on lying to me again?
458
00:40:36,971 --> 00:40:39,941
-I'm so sorry!
-Are you planning
on lying to me again?
459
00:40:40,074 --> 00:40:42,343
-[sobbing]
-[moaning continues]
460
00:40:42,475 --> 00:40:44,512
I'm sorry!
461
00:40:45,012 --> 00:40:45,913
Are you?
462
00:40:46,047 --> 00:40:47,815
I'm sorry!
463
00:40:47,949 --> 00:40:52,653
-[moaning, grunting on video]
-[Trick sobbing] I'm so sorry!
464
00:40:53,554 --> 00:40:55,189
I won't lie!
465
00:40:55,323 --> 00:40:57,591
Oh, Jesus! God!
466
00:40:57,725 --> 00:41:00,394
-I'm sorry!
-[grunting]
467
00:41:00,528 --> 00:41:02,863
[sobbing, retching]
468
00:41:07,301 --> 00:41:10,037
[sobbing] Please!
469
00:41:11,605 --> 00:41:13,541
[retching]
470
00:41:17,712 --> 00:41:20,247
[retching, groaning]
471
00:41:22,550 --> 00:41:24,819
[whimpering]
472
00:41:24,952 --> 00:41:28,122
[heavy breathing on video]
473
00:41:41,902 --> 00:41:43,871
There's nothing
I can do now, Trick.
474
00:41:45,172 --> 00:41:47,008
Some things
you just have to endure.
475
00:41:47,141 --> 00:41:49,744
-[Trick retching]
-[moaning on video]
476
00:41:56,684 --> 00:41:58,819
[Trick panting]
477
00:42:35,289 --> 00:42:37,324
[somber music]
478
00:42:45,199 --> 00:42:47,234
[heavy breathing]
479
00:43:01,182 --> 00:43:02,283
[shudders]
480
00:43:06,921 --> 00:43:09,156
[somber music]
481
00:43:55,669 --> 00:43:57,338
You still don't feel
like talking?
482
00:44:02,376 --> 00:44:04,712
It hurts me
when you do this, Trick.
483
00:44:06,147 --> 00:44:07,148
[snickers]
484
00:44:12,286 --> 00:44:13,320
All right.
485
00:44:13,821 --> 00:44:15,322
[door creaks]
486
00:44:51,258 --> 00:44:55,863
[male voice]
One of us.
487
00:44:57,632 --> 00:45:00,602
-Forever.
-Forever.
488
00:45:00,734 --> 00:45:03,470
Forever. Forever.
489
00:45:04,471 --> 00:45:06,907
Forever. Forever.
490
00:45:07,474 --> 00:45:09,810
Forever. Forever.
491
00:45:09,944 --> 00:45:11,613
[man talking indistinctly on TV]
492
00:45:11,745 --> 00:45:13,447
My wife since...
493
00:45:15,115 --> 00:45:17,384
...served Jesus today.
494
00:45:18,852 --> 00:45:21,922
"How did youserve Jesus today?"I said, "Say what?"
495
00:45:22,056 --> 00:45:25,594
And she just said it again.She said, "How did youserve Jesus today?"
496
00:45:25,726 --> 00:45:30,297
I said, "Well, Pastor,I serve Jesus every daywith all my heart."
497
00:45:31,165 --> 00:45:33,568
A gentle approach
is usually better.
498
00:45:34,201 --> 00:45:36,770
We, uh, feel the same.
499
00:45:37,204 --> 00:45:38,272
But firm.
500
00:45:40,207 --> 00:45:42,910
Sure, sure. Gentle but firm.
501
00:45:43,043 --> 00:45:45,012
That's really the trick,
isn't it?
502
00:45:45,145 --> 00:45:47,448
[Kai]
Do you, uh, need a water?
503
00:45:47,881 --> 00:45:50,150
You were at redemption
with Alan, right?
504
00:45:50,585 --> 00:45:52,353
Oh. You know Alan.
505
00:45:52,486 --> 00:45:56,190
[Deb]
We think what happened to him
was just criminal.
506
00:45:57,825 --> 00:46:02,096
Well, there will always be those
who don't understand.
507
00:46:02,697 --> 00:46:06,233
It's just a shame
so many of them are
federal regulators. [chuckles]
508
00:46:08,637 --> 00:46:09,837
I'm serious.
509
00:46:10,371 --> 00:46:12,139
Christians are
more persecuted now
510
00:46:12,273 --> 00:46:14,308
than they were
during the Roman Empire.
511
00:46:15,175 --> 00:46:16,944
It's definitely alarming.
512
00:46:17,911 --> 00:46:20,214
[man on TV
continues indistinctly]
513
00:46:21,882 --> 00:46:23,851
Do you do exorcisms?
514
00:46:25,219 --> 00:46:27,221
[man on TV]
He is a mighty God.
515
00:46:27,955 --> 00:46:29,189
[chuckles softly]
516
00:46:30,124 --> 00:46:33,528
Uh, well, no. Not technically.
517
00:46:33,994 --> 00:46:35,530
I am not empowered to do that.
518
00:46:35,664 --> 00:46:38,533
Uh, Deb thinks it's a demon.
519
00:46:39,099 --> 00:46:42,136
-You don't have to
say it like that.
-Sorry.
520
00:46:43,037 --> 00:46:44,938
[Deb]
I don't think it's a demon.
521
00:46:45,072 --> 00:46:47,808
I strongly suspect
demonic influence.
522
00:46:47,941 --> 00:46:50,512
Not uncommon
in a case like this.
523
00:46:51,945 --> 00:46:55,049
But I don't,
I don't deal in demons.
524
00:46:55,182 --> 00:46:59,721
After all, a demon can only
take root in a willing host.
[snickers]
525
00:46:59,853 --> 00:47:03,357
So you treat the patient,
and the demons will go away
on their own.
526
00:47:03,490 --> 00:47:06,126
[Deb]
There's a camp,
you know, in New Mexico.
527
00:47:06,260 --> 00:47:07,828
They have
a water recreation area.
528
00:47:07,961 --> 00:47:10,898
-And you do cost more.
-Sure.
529
00:47:11,432 --> 00:47:14,501
And if money is a concern,
Jubilee is your best bet.
530
00:47:14,636 --> 00:47:16,236
They're great folk.
531
00:47:17,237 --> 00:47:20,240
-But your kid, what's his name?
-[Deb] Patrick.
532
00:47:21,975 --> 00:47:23,310
Funny. [chuckles]
533
00:47:23,844 --> 00:47:27,414
At Jubilee, Patrick will be
around 50 other kids
534
00:47:27,549 --> 00:47:30,518
looked after
by four or five counselors.
535
00:47:31,418 --> 00:47:33,921
If you go with me,
your son will be
my only priority.
536
00:47:34,054 --> 00:47:38,392
-Money's no object.
-Money's... [chuckles]...
a small object.
537
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,329
How much
is the week-long retreat?
538
00:47:44,064 --> 00:47:45,533
He's our son!
539
00:47:45,667 --> 00:47:49,136
You fucker! You fucker!
540
00:47:49,671 --> 00:47:50,839
[Kai sighs]
541
00:47:50,971 --> 00:47:52,206
I am trying to save
542
00:47:52,339 --> 00:47:53,541
our son's soul...
[continues hitting Kai]
543
00:47:53,675 --> 00:47:56,076
...and all you can think about
is money!
544
00:47:58,145 --> 00:48:01,048
[Pat breathing heavily]
545
00:48:18,365 --> 00:48:19,466
[grunts]
546
00:48:21,034 --> 00:48:23,170
[sighing]
547
00:48:42,389 --> 00:48:43,525
[sighs]
548
00:48:45,959 --> 00:48:47,060
[grunts]
549
00:48:49,062 --> 00:48:50,431
Up, up, up.
550
00:48:50,565 --> 00:48:51,866
Time to get up.
551
00:48:52,433 --> 00:48:55,804
I am really pleased
with our progress yesterday.
552
00:48:56,504 --> 00:48:59,641
We are through the hard stuff.
We're on the road to Damascus.
553
00:49:01,008 --> 00:49:06,815
You know... [clears throat]
Paul reported intense pain
when Jesus visited him,
554
00:49:06,947 --> 00:49:08,783
and he was struck blind.
555
00:49:08,917 --> 00:49:10,451
The presence will do that.
556
00:49:13,655 --> 00:49:14,722
[sighs]
557
00:49:17,692 --> 00:49:19,226
Are we going to have
another day of sulking, Trick?
558
00:49:19,359 --> 00:49:21,596
I really don't need you
ruining another day.
559
00:49:30,772 --> 00:49:33,006
[suspenseful music]
560
00:49:38,145 --> 00:49:40,113
[Trick]
To whoever reads this...
561
00:49:43,050 --> 00:49:47,387
...I'm sorry for all the painthat I've caused.
562
00:49:49,022 --> 00:49:50,892
Damn it! [sighs]
563
00:49:51,024 --> 00:49:55,062
[Trick]
I'm sorry for beinga disappointment to everybody.
564
00:49:58,398 --> 00:50:00,434
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.
565
00:50:03,805 --> 00:50:05,673
I'm sorry, Mr. Sherman.
566
00:50:08,141 --> 00:50:10,812
I'm sorry that it took meso long to do the thing
567
00:50:10,945 --> 00:50:14,516
that I know will makeeverybody's lives easier.
568
00:50:14,649 --> 00:50:16,784
[Pat grunting]
569
00:50:16,918 --> 00:50:19,453
[Trick]
I'm just so scared of hell.
570
00:50:21,856 --> 00:50:23,625
I'm so scared of hell.
571
00:50:23,758 --> 00:50:25,760
[breathing heavily]
572
00:50:25,894 --> 00:50:28,161
I'm so scared of hell.
573
00:50:30,063 --> 00:50:32,332
I'm so scared of hell.
574
00:50:34,067 --> 00:50:36,738
I'm so scared of hell.
575
00:50:41,576 --> 00:50:42,677
[exhales]
576
00:50:43,243 --> 00:50:45,279
[insects chirping]
577
00:50:59,192 --> 00:51:00,528
[gasps softly]
578
00:51:12,874 --> 00:51:14,141
[sighs]
579
00:51:16,243 --> 00:51:17,477
[snickers]
580
00:51:20,113 --> 00:51:21,248
I...
581
00:51:21,749 --> 00:51:23,585
I don't know. [snickers]
582
00:51:24,953 --> 00:51:26,988
[smacks lips]
I don't know what happened.
583
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:28,656
No, I... [sighs]
584
00:51:29,857 --> 00:51:31,258
I... [sighs]
585
00:51:32,492 --> 00:51:33,895
I don't know what happened.
586
00:51:34,394 --> 00:51:36,129
He must've snuck out.
587
00:51:38,432 --> 00:51:40,735
No. No signs.
588
00:51:44,438 --> 00:51:46,841
You let me inform the parents.
I'm a preacher.
589
00:51:47,307 --> 00:51:49,043
Look, let me inform...
590
00:51:49,176 --> 00:51:51,278
Will you let me in-- Damn it.
591
00:51:54,082 --> 00:51:55,248
[exhales]
592
00:51:56,216 --> 00:51:57,952
Let me inform the parents.
593
00:51:58,086 --> 00:51:59,053
I'm a preacher.
594
00:51:59,186 --> 00:52:00,420
[snickers]
595
00:52:02,857 --> 00:52:07,061
No, of course not. No, I have,
I have no idea where he went.
596
00:52:07,494 --> 00:52:10,263
I just hope we find him
before it's too late.
597
00:52:14,102 --> 00:52:15,536
Thank you, Officer.
598
00:52:17,071 --> 00:52:18,773
[breathes deeply]
599
00:52:21,509 --> 00:52:23,243
If there's anything I--
600
00:52:23,377 --> 00:52:26,446
If there's anything I--
[exhales in frustration]
601
00:52:29,017 --> 00:52:30,918
If there's anything I can do...
602
00:52:41,996 --> 00:52:43,631
[exhales forcefully]
603
00:52:43,765 --> 00:52:45,800
[ominous music]
604
00:52:55,843 --> 00:52:56,911
[stone clatters]
605
00:52:59,113 --> 00:53:01,616
[breathing heavily]
606
00:53:11,291 --> 00:53:13,427
This is private property!
607
00:53:15,530 --> 00:53:17,765
Don't think
I won't call the cops!
608
00:53:18,398 --> 00:53:19,834
-[stones clattering]
-[yells in pain]
609
00:53:22,770 --> 00:53:23,805
God!
610
00:53:25,205 --> 00:53:26,339
[groans]
611
00:53:38,218 --> 00:53:40,253
[pants]
612
00:53:42,489 --> 00:53:45,258
[groaning]
613
00:54:23,263 --> 00:54:24,699
[sighs]
614
00:54:32,140 --> 00:54:33,473
[sighs]
615
00:54:41,816 --> 00:54:42,950
[sniffs]
616
00:54:49,023 --> 00:54:50,758
[sighs, opens drawer]
617
00:54:56,230 --> 00:54:57,532
[sighs]
618
00:55:04,205 --> 00:55:05,305
[stone thuds]
619
00:55:07,041 --> 00:55:09,043
[panting]
620
00:55:14,549 --> 00:55:17,051
[breath trembling]
621
00:55:17,652 --> 00:55:19,352
-[woman] Excuse me!
-[gasps]
622
00:55:26,359 --> 00:55:28,563
[stifles sob]
623
00:55:29,429 --> 00:55:31,666
[breathing heavily]]
624
00:55:40,074 --> 00:55:42,677
I know you're in there.
I can see your car.
625
00:55:44,846 --> 00:55:45,947
Excuse me.
626
00:55:46,379 --> 00:55:47,882
I'd like to talk to you.
627
00:55:50,350 --> 00:55:52,520
[man]
Babe, come on.
628
00:55:54,555 --> 00:55:55,656
Hey. Sorry.
629
00:55:55,790 --> 00:55:57,525
Couldn't hear you over the sink.
630
00:55:57,992 --> 00:55:59,160
Who are you?
631
00:55:59,293 --> 00:56:01,062
Uh, I'm Pat.
632
00:56:02,263 --> 00:56:03,430
You're not Alan.
633
00:56:03,564 --> 00:56:04,866
Uh, no, ma'am.
634
00:56:06,100 --> 00:56:07,467
And you're a pastor?
635
00:56:07,602 --> 00:56:08,803
Yes, ma'am.
636
00:56:16,244 --> 00:56:18,411
-Uh...
-[man] Babe,
637
00:56:19,213 --> 00:56:20,615
-come on.
-[woman] Shh.
638
00:56:22,083 --> 00:56:23,450
Is the kid in there?
639
00:56:25,186 --> 00:56:26,554
What kid?
640
00:56:27,255 --> 00:56:28,155
Oh.
641
00:56:28,289 --> 00:56:30,591
Uh, yes. Um...
642
00:56:31,859 --> 00:56:33,561
He, uh...
643
00:56:34,962 --> 00:56:38,398
I don't really think of him
as a kid. He's asleep.
644
00:56:39,066 --> 00:56:40,067
Asleep?
645
00:56:40,868 --> 00:56:43,537
He was up late in prayer.
646
00:56:45,706 --> 00:56:48,075
So, how do you know Alan?
647
00:56:48,209 --> 00:56:50,811
Um, I'm a pastor.
648
00:56:51,379 --> 00:56:52,445
[chuckles] Uh, I know.
649
00:56:52,580 --> 00:56:54,447
Um, are you from around here?
650
00:56:56,617 --> 00:56:59,220
Me and Alan, we, we go way back.
651
00:56:59,353 --> 00:57:00,621
[snickers]
652
00:57:00,755 --> 00:57:03,090
So, Alan knows
you're here, right?
653
00:57:03,224 --> 00:57:04,625
Sure hope so.
654
00:57:06,761 --> 00:57:08,963
-Yes, he does.
-And the kid.
655
00:57:10,097 --> 00:57:11,498
What about him?
656
00:57:12,900 --> 00:57:14,335
Hey, are you in there?
657
00:57:14,467 --> 00:57:16,037
Is everything okay?
658
00:57:17,171 --> 00:57:18,639
[smacks lips]
659
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:20,708
He's a deep sleeper.
660
00:57:21,842 --> 00:57:23,878
How about I just come in
for a second and check?
661
00:57:24,378 --> 00:57:27,848
That's so sweet of you,
but I think we better
let him rest.
662
00:57:27,982 --> 00:57:30,017
I am responsible
for his welfare, after all.
663
00:57:30,151 --> 00:57:33,054
And as far as I can tell,
you're just some trespasser.
664
00:57:42,330 --> 00:57:43,230
[horn honks]
665
00:57:43,798 --> 00:57:46,567
Honey, the range closes
in, like, an hour.
666
00:57:46,701 --> 00:57:48,002
[woman]
All right.
667
00:57:51,505 --> 00:57:52,740
Well...
668
00:57:54,108 --> 00:57:56,243
-...take care.
-[Pat] You as well.
669
00:58:05,987 --> 00:58:09,724
Take the car to the end
of the driveway, block the exit,
and call the cops.
670
00:58:11,392 --> 00:58:12,626
[man sighs]
671
00:58:13,194 --> 00:58:15,229
[car drives away]
672
00:58:22,103 --> 00:58:24,605
[ominous music]
673
00:58:36,117 --> 00:58:38,252
[light shuffling]
674
01:00:10,377 --> 01:00:12,613
[ominous music]
675
01:00:20,221 --> 01:00:21,322
[yells]
676
01:00:24,492 --> 01:00:26,694
[high-pitched ringing]
677
01:00:28,329 --> 01:00:30,364
[squelching]
678
01:00:40,509 --> 01:00:42,409
[breathing heavily]
679
01:00:46,780 --> 01:00:48,182
[gasps]
680
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:52,887
[inhales sharply]
681
01:00:54,889 --> 01:00:56,423
[creaking]
682
01:01:05,132 --> 01:01:06,167
[gasps]
683
01:01:31,725 --> 01:01:34,929
[sirens wailing, approaching]
684
01:01:36,497 --> 01:01:38,832
[breathing heavily]
685
01:01:41,168 --> 01:01:43,505
[distant indistinct chatter]
686
01:01:43,638 --> 01:01:45,406
[phone ringing]
687
01:01:47,808 --> 01:01:49,877
[officer]
All right, now,
why don't you just tell me
688
01:01:50,010 --> 01:01:53,515
-a little about what happened
over there?
-[softly] I don't know.
689
01:01:54,248 --> 01:01:55,916
[officer]
Listen, Alan's a friend,
690
01:01:56,050 --> 01:01:58,419
and we really don't want
to have to embarrass the church
691
01:01:58,553 --> 01:02:02,056
or anything like that.
So, if you just tell me, uh...
692
01:02:04,925 --> 01:02:06,193
[sniffs]
693
01:02:08,762 --> 01:02:10,097
[sighs]
694
01:02:22,042 --> 01:02:24,378
[footsteps approaching]
695
01:02:27,915 --> 01:02:30,351
Well, here's the lay of it.
696
01:02:31,151 --> 01:02:33,354
We can keep you out of jail.
[chuckles]
697
01:02:33,487 --> 01:02:35,923
Lucky for you,
Judge Blatt, he's a friend.
698
01:02:36,423 --> 01:02:38,993
But you're going to have
to disappear in a hurry.
699
01:02:40,761 --> 01:02:42,029
Where do I go?
700
01:02:42,664 --> 01:02:44,164
I could go to Rexburg.
701
01:02:44,832 --> 01:02:46,967
Now, I know
you didn't just say that.
702
01:02:48,235 --> 01:02:50,971
I feel like I've done
everything I can for you.
703
01:02:52,072 --> 01:02:54,174
You ain't going to prison.
704
01:02:54,643 --> 01:02:55,943
Be thankful.
705
01:02:59,980 --> 01:03:02,016
Alan, I was working for you.
706
01:03:05,319 --> 01:03:08,556
I told you to scare the kid,
not kill him.
707
01:03:10,759 --> 01:03:12,493
That's not how I remember it.
708
01:03:16,797 --> 01:03:18,032
What?
709
01:03:20,034 --> 01:03:24,905
I remember you calling me
and, and telling me
to give the kid ipecac.
710
01:03:27,742 --> 01:03:32,179
You already gave your testimony,
you absolute son of a bitch.
711
01:03:33,047 --> 01:03:35,115
Maybe I remembered
something new.
712
01:03:38,687 --> 01:03:40,555
Just give me a place to live.
713
01:03:43,891 --> 01:03:45,159
God damn it.
714
01:03:47,294 --> 01:03:51,533
Well... there's one place
I can put you.
715
01:03:59,607 --> 01:04:01,842
[somber music]
716
01:04:18,092 --> 01:04:20,562
[door unlocks, creaks]
717
01:04:46,153 --> 01:04:47,421
[spray can hisses]
718
01:05:13,113 --> 01:05:15,349
[insects chirping]
719
01:05:27,896 --> 01:05:29,163
[sighs]
720
01:05:34,869 --> 01:05:36,503
[sighs]
721
01:05:59,761 --> 01:06:01,028
[exhales]
722
01:06:07,968 --> 01:06:09,236
[sighs]
723
01:06:41,368 --> 01:06:43,370
[breathes heavily]
724
01:07:08,897 --> 01:07:11,131
[gasping]
725
01:07:34,022 --> 01:07:36,123
[rustling]
726
01:07:50,638 --> 01:07:52,272
[woman]
Heard you got off.
727
01:08:00,982 --> 01:08:02,717
This is church property.
728
01:08:04,852 --> 01:08:05,954
That's right.
729
01:08:06,588 --> 01:08:08,590
Right up to that
line of trees over there.
730
01:08:09,557 --> 01:08:11,258
And it's my property.
731
01:08:16,564 --> 01:08:19,534
And if you so much as breathe
on my land,
732
01:08:20,267 --> 01:08:22,737
I will do to you
what the state should have done.
733
01:08:25,840 --> 01:08:28,408
I guess that'd be
about what I deserve. [sniffs]
734
01:08:34,849 --> 01:08:36,283
Do you feel bad?
735
01:08:38,251 --> 01:08:40,354
Do you think
about that poor boy?
736
01:08:43,791 --> 01:08:45,192
Most days.
737
01:08:46,094 --> 01:08:47,361
Most days?
738
01:08:47,795 --> 01:08:49,229
Jesus Christ.
739
01:08:50,464 --> 01:08:53,266
Somebody really should
put you out of your misery.
740
01:08:53,400 --> 01:08:55,202
I'm sure somebody will.
741
01:09:05,479 --> 01:09:08,916
[Pat on recording]
I don't thinkyou need fixing, Trick.
742
01:09:09,050 --> 01:09:11,485
I think you're finejust the way you are.
743
01:09:17,592 --> 01:09:19,226
Look, if you don't wantto be here,
744
01:09:19,359 --> 01:09:21,228
just say the word,I'll take you home right now.
745
01:09:21,361 --> 01:09:25,198
[Trick]
Okay. Um, I would liketo go home, please.
746
01:09:25,332 --> 01:09:27,135
[Pat]
But I think you should know
747
01:09:27,568 --> 01:09:30,738
that your parentsare really concerned.
748
01:09:31,606 --> 01:09:34,842
And if you continue acting out,they may try other things.
749
01:09:36,343 --> 01:09:37,612
[Trick]
Right.
750
01:09:39,346 --> 01:09:41,281
[Pat]
I'm sure I don't haveto tell you that I'm,
751
01:09:41,415 --> 01:09:43,051
I'm the nice version of this.
752
01:09:43,183 --> 01:09:44,919
[Trick]
I, I get that.
753
01:09:47,454 --> 01:09:48,723
[Pat]
Okay.
754
01:09:50,124 --> 01:09:51,224
Okay.
755
01:09:54,028 --> 01:09:55,362
Just one question.
756
01:09:56,931 --> 01:09:58,599
Are you happy?
757
01:10:00,068 --> 01:10:01,368
[Trick]
I'm not.
758
01:10:03,805 --> 01:10:05,873
[Pat]
Why is that?
759
01:10:12,680 --> 01:10:13,881
[exhales]
760
01:10:19,987 --> 01:10:21,689
[girl sobbing]
761
01:10:25,860 --> 01:10:27,327
[exhales heavily]
762
01:10:28,162 --> 01:10:29,931
[girl crying]
763
01:10:30,064 --> 01:10:32,299
[thunder rumbling]
764
01:10:33,500 --> 01:10:34,869
[exhales heavily]
765
01:10:35,002 --> 01:10:37,237
[ominous music]
766
01:10:46,013 --> 01:10:49,282
[breathes heavily]
767
01:11:06,100 --> 01:11:07,635
[thunder rumbles]
768
01:11:24,351 --> 01:11:25,787
[door opens]
769
01:11:29,322 --> 01:11:30,390
[door closes]
770
01:11:30,525 --> 01:11:32,760
[thunder rumbling]
771
01:11:34,829 --> 01:11:36,864
[rain pattering]
772
01:11:46,541 --> 01:11:49,376
[Alana]
Do you remember me, Patrick?
773
01:11:56,284 --> 01:11:57,919
Of course I remember you.
774
01:11:59,419 --> 01:12:00,988
How old are you now?
775
01:12:02,322 --> 01:12:03,591
[Alana]
Twenty-two.
776
01:12:06,393 --> 01:12:07,628
Wow.
777
01:12:10,665 --> 01:12:13,568
-Last time I saw you--
-You don't remember me.
778
01:12:17,337 --> 01:12:18,639
[Pat]
I'm sorry.
779
01:12:19,841 --> 01:12:21,876
My name is Alana Conan.
780
01:12:30,885 --> 01:12:32,987
What can I do for you,
Alana Conan?
781
01:12:33,120 --> 01:12:35,323
It's so hard to focus.
782
01:12:35,957 --> 01:12:39,026
[sighs] It's so hard
to know what's real.
783
01:12:44,031 --> 01:12:46,968
[Pat]
Did you have something
that you wanted to say to me?
784
01:12:47,101 --> 01:12:48,368
Yes.
785
01:12:49,537 --> 01:12:50,738
That's right.
786
01:12:53,373 --> 01:12:54,775
You told me...
787
01:12:56,244 --> 01:13:00,514
...if I wanted to be a lesbian,
I should look like one.
788
01:13:05,253 --> 01:13:06,854
I know that I was lucky.
789
01:13:09,389 --> 01:13:15,796
There were rumors about
what the counselors did
to the other kids.
790
01:13:22,469 --> 01:13:23,771
For a while,
791
01:13:24,205 --> 01:13:25,306
I thought I was pretty lucky
792
01:13:25,438 --> 01:13:27,541
that I just had my head shaved.
793
01:13:32,380 --> 01:13:34,582
But I don't feel
that way anymore.
794
01:13:40,288 --> 01:13:42,590
I need you to apologize.
795
01:13:46,761 --> 01:13:49,563
Alana, from the bottom
of my heart...
796
01:13:52,066 --> 01:13:53,768
...I am so sorry.
797
01:13:59,340 --> 01:14:00,541
Okay.
798
01:14:01,609 --> 01:14:02,777
But...
799
01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:08,950
...at the time,
we thought we were
doing the right thing.
800
01:14:11,619 --> 01:14:17,058
I just think it's important
to look at the larger context.
801
01:14:17,191 --> 01:14:20,561
"The larger context."
802
01:14:21,429 --> 01:14:23,898
The cultural context.
803
01:14:24,966 --> 01:14:27,068
The older I get,
the more I feel it's...
804
01:14:28,069 --> 01:14:31,138
-We're all just products
of our culture.
-I had, um...
805
01:14:37,578 --> 01:14:38,846
I had, um...
806
01:14:40,581 --> 01:14:43,084
...Tylenol, I think...
807
01:14:44,452 --> 01:14:46,087
...in my medicine cabinet.
808
01:14:49,790 --> 01:14:52,093
I didn't know
how much to take, so...
809
01:14:54,261 --> 01:14:55,596
...I just took it all.
810
01:14:59,700 --> 01:15:01,569
And now my stomach is...
811
01:15:02,737 --> 01:15:06,240
...full of nails,
and chalk, and...
812
01:15:09,443 --> 01:15:14,615
After the paramedics left,
I started walking.
813
01:15:18,386 --> 01:15:21,756
Sometimes I felt... hungry.
814
01:15:21,889 --> 01:15:25,593
Um... sometimes I felt sad.
815
01:15:27,361 --> 01:15:28,929
And sometimes...
816
01:15:30,164 --> 01:15:33,968
...my feet would leave the earth
for an hour at a time.
817
01:15:37,405 --> 01:15:39,073
The others walk with me.
818
01:15:41,876 --> 01:15:45,846
When they fade away...
I'll carry them.
819
01:15:46,580 --> 01:15:49,717
And, and when I fade away...
820
01:15:51,419 --> 01:15:52,787
...they'll carry me.
821
01:15:58,592 --> 01:16:01,295
Who will carry you, Patrick?
822
01:16:09,070 --> 01:16:12,206
You know, I really shouldn't
be having visitors this late.
823
01:16:14,608 --> 01:16:19,713
Say you had, um... a baby.
824
01:16:21,048 --> 01:16:24,618
A newborn baby... your son...
825
01:16:27,321 --> 01:16:29,123
...and a rabid dog...
826
01:16:30,124 --> 01:16:33,627
...broke into your house
and killed him.
827
01:16:35,530 --> 01:16:40,334
Clawed out his eyeballs
and tore through
his soft little neck.
828
01:16:42,870 --> 01:16:44,805
How would you kill a dog
that did that?
829
01:16:44,939 --> 01:16:49,210
You have every right
to be angry with me.
830
01:16:49,343 --> 01:16:50,711
Would you trap it?
831
01:16:52,313 --> 01:16:54,281
Keep it in a little cage?
832
01:16:55,584 --> 01:16:57,651
What would you do then?
833
01:16:58,452 --> 01:16:59,753
Would you kick it?
834
01:17:00,488 --> 01:17:01,689
Hit it with a stick?
835
01:17:01,822 --> 01:17:05,025
Break its jaw?
Crush its bones? Uh...
836
01:17:06,026 --> 01:17:08,095
Pull its teeth out one by one?
837
01:17:10,231 --> 01:17:15,269
What do you do to something
that took away what was
most precious to you?
838
01:17:19,273 --> 01:17:20,908
What do I do?
839
01:17:21,642 --> 01:17:22,443
Trick.
840
01:17:22,577 --> 01:17:24,812
[ominous music]
841
01:17:54,408 --> 01:17:56,877
[ominous music]
842
01:18:01,048 --> 01:18:03,150
[Trick]
Lord have mercy.
843
01:18:03,652 --> 01:18:05,886
Christ have mercy.
844
01:18:06,453 --> 01:18:10,357
God, son, the Redeemer
of the world...
845
01:18:10,491 --> 01:18:11,992
[others]
Have mercy on us.
846
01:18:12,126 --> 01:18:14,428
God, the Holy Spirit...
847
01:18:14,563 --> 01:18:16,030
[others]
Have mercy on us.
848
01:18:16,163 --> 01:18:18,766
[Trick]
Holy Trinity, one God...
849
01:18:18,899 --> 01:18:20,401
[others]
Have mercy on us.
850
01:18:20,535 --> 01:18:21,936
Holy Mary, pray for us.
851
01:18:22,069 --> 01:18:23,871
[others]
Pray for us.
852
01:18:33,781 --> 01:18:35,249
[grunting]
853
01:18:39,621 --> 01:18:41,355
[groans]
854
01:18:44,626 --> 01:18:46,860
[spluttering]
855
01:18:47,728 --> 01:18:49,964
[choking]
856
01:18:51,600 --> 01:18:53,834
[Trick]
Hold not thy peace
of God of my praise,
857
01:18:53,968 --> 01:18:58,339
for the mouth of the wicked
and the mouth of the deceitful
are open against me.
858
01:18:58,472 --> 01:19:00,841
-They have spoken against me
with lying tongues...
-[coughing]
859
01:19:00,975 --> 01:19:04,845
...and have rewarded me
evil for good
and hatred for my love.
860
01:19:04,979 --> 01:19:09,483
When he shall be judged,
let him be condemned.
Let his prayer become sin,
861
01:19:09,618 --> 01:19:13,120
-let his days be few,
and let another take his office.
-[coughing]
862
01:19:13,254 --> 01:19:16,323
Let his children be fatherless,
and wife a widow.
863
01:19:16,457 --> 01:19:19,393
Let his children
be continually vagabonds
in death.
864
01:19:19,527 --> 01:19:21,228
-[others speaking indistinctly]
-Let them seek out their bread
865
01:19:21,362 --> 01:19:23,397
also out of
their desolate place.
866
01:19:23,531 --> 01:19:25,700
Let there be none
to extend mercy unto him...
867
01:19:25,833 --> 01:19:27,602
-Let not the sin of his mother
be blotted out.
-...neither let there be any
868
01:19:27,736 --> 01:19:29,571
to father
his favorless children.
869
01:19:29,704 --> 01:19:31,105
[retches, spits]
870
01:19:32,306 --> 01:19:33,508
[coughs]
871
01:19:39,714 --> 01:19:43,851
In the name of the children
who you murdered,
872
01:19:44,218 --> 01:19:46,755
and the ones who survived,
873
01:19:47,254 --> 01:19:52,026
the ones who clawed
their lives back from you,
874
01:19:52,860 --> 01:19:56,330
who cut you out
like the cancer you are.
875
01:19:56,463 --> 01:19:59,066
[pensive music]
876
01:20:20,722 --> 01:20:22,956
[birds chirping]
877
01:20:27,961 --> 01:20:29,430
I'm not surprised.
878
01:20:30,197 --> 01:20:31,465
That's all I'm saying.
879
01:20:32,299 --> 01:20:34,435
Not surprised somebody did it.
880
01:20:36,103 --> 01:20:37,404
I didn't do it. [chuckles]
881
01:20:37,539 --> 01:20:38,472
But...
882
01:20:39,373 --> 01:20:41,208
...not surprised somebody did.
883
01:20:45,446 --> 01:20:46,447
Is he in there?
884
01:20:46,980 --> 01:20:50,951
[man]
Yeah, but it's not
something really that you...
885
01:20:57,491 --> 01:20:58,492
You okay, miss?
886
01:21:00,260 --> 01:21:02,429
Well, now I don't know
how to feel.
887
01:21:11,740 --> 01:21:12,940
[camera shutter clicking]
888
01:21:21,215 --> 01:21:22,584
[camera shutter clicking]
889
01:21:24,719 --> 01:21:27,054
[somber music]
890
01:23:38,953 --> 01:23:41,455
[indistinct, muffled chatter]
891
01:24:43,150 --> 01:24:45,385
[muffled laughter]
892
01:24:54,361 --> 01:24:56,564
[somber music]
893
01:25:42,577 --> 01:25:44,812
[melancholic piano music]
893
01:25:45,305 --> 01:26:45,645
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