Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:05,904
♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:09,307
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:12,977
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:16,047
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:19,384
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:22,687
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,367
♪ All the things
that make us
8
00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:25,991
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:30,862
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,171
God, I hate coming to the vet.
11
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,907
They charge me
90 bucks a day
to keep Brian here.
12
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,677
For 60 bucks,
I could put him up
at the Holiday Inn.
13
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,078
Who's with me?
14
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:53,652
My apologies.
My pet cricket has
restless leg syndrome.
15
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,956
I hope
Brian's stomach pains
aren't anything serious.
16
00:00:58,024 --> 00:01:00,459
Look at that, Lois.
That's why cats freak me out.
17
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:03,567
He's doing that weird,
stretchy leg thing
where they lick themselves.
18
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,121
Look at that, huh?
Look at that shit.
19
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:13,912
Thank God
the vets are here
to help Brian.
20
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:16,152
I want to be
a veterinarian
when I grow up.
21
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:17,843
Meg, we've been over this.
22
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:21,113
You're gonna gain 150 pounds
and write
Ugly Betty fan fiction.
23
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:23,026
But, Dad...
Meg, that's final.
24
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,949
Meg, that's final.
Meg, that's final.
25
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,978
See, this bird knows
what I'm talking about.
Thank you.
26
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,265
Thank you.
Thank you.
27
00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:30,734
Thank you.
You're very polite.
28
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,157
You're very polite.
29
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,738
You do not see that
these days.
You do not see that.
30
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,339
I like you.
I like you.
31
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,896
Oh, thank God.
32
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,710
You know, you never
really know what
somebody thinks of you,
33
00:01:39,734 --> 00:01:42,033
but I'm glad I made
a good first impression.
34
00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:43,279
Would you like to be friends?
35
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,369
Like to be friends.
36
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,716
Oh, God, this is all
going so smoothly.
37
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,440
What's your name? I'm Peter.
Peter.
38
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:50,186
No way!
That's my name!
39
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,256
Hey, you should come home
and spend
the night at my house.
40
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,823
Lois, will you make up
the guest room?
41
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,581
Peter, that's someone's pet.
You can't just take it.
42
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,384
Well, maybe they'd
never know it's gone.
43
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,926
Brian, I'm so glad you're okay.
44
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,294
Yes, he's doing fine.
45
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,240
We were able to clear
the stomach obstruction.
46
00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:12,909
Turns out it was a used diaper.
47
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:13,966
Ew!
48
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,034
Gross!
49
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,768
Oh, yes!
50
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,948
Get off my back.
I thought
it was Indian food.
51
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,752
Oh, thank you
so much for
your help, Dr. Jewish.
52
00:02:21,776 --> 00:02:23,653
I really thought
we were gonna lose him.
53
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,443
It was my pleasure,
Mrs. Griffin.
54
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:28,480
Go ahead and check out
with my intern, Anna.
55
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:43,762
♪ I never wanted
anyone like this
56
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:46,298
♪ It's all brand new
57
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:50,169
♪ You'll feel it in my kiss
58
00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:52,337
♪ I'm crazy for you
59
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:56,141
♪ Bah
60
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,013
♪ Crazy for you ♪
61
00:03:05,418 --> 00:03:07,652
We now return
to Busy Business Lady
62
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,288
Whose Life Is Missing Something,
63
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,024
But She Doesn't Realize It
Because She's So Busy
With Business.
64
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,970
No, no,I cannot make thatbusiness meeting.
65
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,939
I've got a different
business meeting at 3:00,
66
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,473
and will be doing
business there.
67
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,142
I was wonderingif you're freefor coffee.
68
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,832
Oh, no, I can't!
69
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,779
I've got a lunch meeting,and thena meeting after lunch.
70
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,569
After that...
71
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,504
Over the next 90 minutes,
72
00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:30,342
I'd like to show youthat all your problemscan be solved by my penis.
73
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,386
Hey, guys, what is going on?
74
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:41,998
No way!
Cool!
75
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,333
That thing don't bite, do it?
76
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,823
Guys, say hello to Adrien Beaky.
77
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,659
Pick a lane, bitch.
78
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,039
Isn't that funny?
He heard me say that
on the way over in the car.
79
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,231
I got to pee.
Where's that
Snapple bottle?
80
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:56,001
I had a gay experience at camp.
81
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,881
We... We had
the radio on
82
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,449
and they were talking
about some goofy stuff.
83
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,317
So, what are you...
What are you guys drinking?
84
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:04,154
Hey, Peter, you kind of look
like a pirate with that
thing on your shoulder.
85
00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:05,744
A pirate? Oh, cool!
86
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,424
You should get a pirate name.
87
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,525
And a peg leg.
And a hook hand.
88
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,161
And you should have sex
with that crossing guard,
89
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:14,352
even though she
looked young and then
I found out she was 12.
90
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,055
I mean, you should
get an eye patch.
91
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,324
Eye patch would be cool.
92
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,508
U know, Brian,
if you like my poop
going into your mouth,
93
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:26,776
we could just do that.
94
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,500
Shut up, Stewie.
95
00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:31,481
Mom, can we go back
to the vet and see the
pretty vet assistant again?
96
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:34,005
Well, I guess if
Brian gets sick again.
97
00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:38,043
Oh, boy! Hey, Brian, look!
Brian's sick.
Mom, get your keys!
98
00:04:40,181 --> 00:04:41,613
Ng to the vet.
99
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:43,949
There's me wench!
100
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,795
Peter, what the hell
are you doing?
101
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,487
That's Long John Peter
to you, porthole.
102
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:54,459
Fetch me five tankards
of ale and a leg
of mutton for me maties!
103
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,196
Who the hell are those guys?
104
00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:01,077
Just a few sea dogs
from my
fishing boat days.
105
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,579
I don't care who
they are, they stink!
Get them out of here!
106
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,904
They stink of good cheer, Lois!
107
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,554
After we've had our fill
of bread and wine,
108
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:14,246
we shall tell tales of
other times we had
our fill of bread and wine.
109
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,959
God, this is
a more disturbing sight
110
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,916
than Tom Hanks
and E.T. in Philadelphia.
111
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,185
Ouch!
112
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:22,514
There you go, you're good.
113
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:23,733
You didn't touch me.
114
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,423
I don't wanna get AIDS.
115
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,698
Kristallnacht!
116
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:37,302
'Tis Long John Peter
and his merry men
come seeking plunder.
117
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,849
All your TUCKS
Medicated Pads
be ours.
118
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,140
Oh, my God!
119
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:45,310
Oh, God! What are you...
120
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:49,347
For no reason, I'm going to
fire this cannon
all over your store.
121
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:56,154
Terrible pharmacy toys.
122
00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:58,823
We'll see to it
that no child
ever receives these
123
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:02,694
as a last-minute gift
hastily bought
on the way to the party.
124
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,601
Dear me,
it's almost 3:00.
125
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:12,471
I've got to get this
shipment of sugar cane,
tobacco and spices
126
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:16,141
to the harbor before day's end.
127
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:20,945
That car is coming up
awfully fast, but at least
it's flying the British flag.
128
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:28,720
Oh, no. Privateers.
129
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,735
No doubt they're after
my sugar cane,
tobacco and spices.
130
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:35,526
Well, Shelley Boothbishop
isn't about to let you
over-egg this pudding.
131
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,375
Prepare to be boarded.
132
00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:52,343
You'll never take my cargo.
133
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,194
Load the cannon.
134
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,653
All clear, sir.
135
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,023
Shoot it again.
136
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,670
What? I didn't
understand that.
137
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,962
I said "shoot it again,"
but I said it
pirate-like.
138
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:35,180
Well done,
you barnacle-munching
scallywiggers.
139
00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:36,981
Sir, we've got a man down.
140
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,996
Oh, my God!
Adrien Beaky.
Say something.
141
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,753
Shoot me.
142
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:46,191
Oh, God, this is
my fault. I did this.
143
00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:48,138
I've screwed up
worse than Disney did
144
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:51,496
when they cast Michael J. Fox
in that Zorro remake.
145
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,998
Who was that masked man
who saved us?
146
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:57,467
I don't know,
but he left
his insignia.
147
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:06,255
Give it to me
straight, Dr. Jewish.
Is he gonna live?
148
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,713
Mr. Griffin, I'm afraid
your parrot is dead.
149
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,550
No!
150
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,419
Did he at least die
with dignity?
151
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:17,533
Well, he convulsed
a lot and fell off
the operating table.
152
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,802
Then he flopped
around a little
on the floor,
153
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:22,038
then a passing nurse
accidentally
stepped on him
154
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,963
and kicked him into
a puddle of urine,
which must've frightened him,
155
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,510
because his bowels
released
all over himself.
156
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,612
I tried to pick him up,
but then I got angry
157
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:31,514
because some of it
got on my thumb,
158
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:34,284
so I threw him
against the wall and
that's where he died.
159
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,307
That's the way I want to go.
160
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,109
I'm really sorry about
your dad's parrot.
161
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,911
Oh, that's okay.
162
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,725
He'll get over it
pretty quickly and then move
on to another wacky thing.
163
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,494
Lois, whose pipe organ is this?
164
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:45,650
My name is Anna.
165
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:47,151
I'm Chris.
166
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:51,189
Sometimes I have to
poop for a long time.
167
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,825
Now you say something.
168
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:57,629
You're funny.
But I bet a lot of girls
tell you that, huh?
169
00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:01,466
Well, the only girl
I know is my sister,
and she sucks.
170
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:03,368
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
171
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,756
Wow, we're having
a conversation!
172
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,474
Listen, I have to
get back to work,
173
00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:13,177
but would you maybe want
to go out sometime?
174
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,278
Yes!
175
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,714
Great.
Here's my number.
176
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,015
Awesome!
177
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:20,051
Oh, no, I broke the pipe organ.
178
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,153
Hey, look, the deed
to a cattle ranch.
179
00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:36,200
Working at the vet?
180
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,569
Oh, it is so rewarding.
181
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,815
Ever since I was a little girl,
182
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:42,807
I have loved
working with animals.
183
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,842
Did you ever make it
with one of the dogs?
184
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:45,988
What?
185
00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:48,312
I mean, did you enjoy
your appetizer?
186
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,814
It hasn't come yet.
187
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:53,951
Oh, I mean, did you
ever make it with
one of the dogs?
188
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,519
No! Stupid!
189
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:58,156
Chris, just relax.
190
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:02,860
Okay. So, what kind
of stuff do you like
to do and junk?
191
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,396
Well, I really enjoy
some of the music
192
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:08,504
black people
have been coming up
with lately.
193
00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:12,136
You know, Anna,
when I first saw you,
194
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,772
I thought you were
the most beautiful girl
in the world,
195
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,876
and now all I want to do
is show you
my innermost self,
196
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,476
but I'm afraid you'll reject me
197
00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:21,412
because you won't
like what you see,
198
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,248
or that you'll see
my scrotum, and see that
it has a seam on it,
199
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,361
and then you'll think
I'm made up
of two different guys
200
00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:29,587
that were sewn together,
'cause that's what
I think happened, and...
201
00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:31,322
Chris, I like you.
202
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,973
You don't have to try so hard.
203
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,129
I'm sorry.
204
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:39,696
When I'm around a pretty girl,
205
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:42,125
I get all worked up,
like a kid watching
a toy commercial.
206
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,538
Shiny! Gooey! Stretchy! Fun!
207
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,140
Hasbro's Best Thing Ever!
208
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,475
Sticky! Yummy! Bouncy! Fun!
209
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,043
Hasbro's Best Thing Ever!
210
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,590
- Fly it!
- Yeah!
211
00:11:53,614 --> 00:11:55,246
Toss it!
Awesome!
212
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,848
Swim it!
213
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,483
Eat it!
214
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,285
Hasbro's Best Thing Ever!
215
00:12:00,354 --> 00:12:01,886
Kids? Kids?
216
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,089
It's so awesome!
217
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:05,257
I want it!
218
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:13,898
Hey, fellas!
I have a question.
219
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:17,013
I went on a date
with this girl
that I really like,
220
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:19,181
and if you don't mind,
221
00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:21,450
I was hoping
I could ask you
a few questions
222
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,552
about the birds and the bees?
223
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,209
My boy wants to know about sex.
224
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,045
Came to the right place.
225
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:31,616
Chris, what you always
want to remember is that sex
is perfectly natural...
226
00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:35,187
Sorry, Mr. Swanson.
I wasn't really
talking to you.
227
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,289
Chris, I know a lot about sex.
228
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,891
Yeah, and I'm sure
you have fond memories,
229
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,771
but I was kind of hoping
to get some advice
230
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,473
from someone
who isn't broken
from the waist down.
231
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:45,563
I'm a father!
232
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,510
You're a two-wheeled monster!
233
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,872
That's going to be
my ring tone.
Quagmire, call me.
234
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,683
Well, I have to
get to work, Chris.
235
00:13:04,752 --> 00:13:06,918
I have tons and tons
of dogs to incinerate,
236
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,454
but I can't wait
to see you tomorrow night.
237
00:13:09,523 --> 00:13:11,756
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
I'll clean that up.
238
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,703
Oh, that's okay.
I'll get it.
239
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:14,927
Have fun at work!
240
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,761
Okay. Bye, Chris.
241
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,175
What do you think you're doing?
242
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,465
What?
243
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:24,402
You, a man, are
cleaning up a mess
made by Anna, a woman,
244
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:28,105
that she, also a woman,
spilled on you, a man.
245
00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:29,240
So?
246
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,253
You're treating her
like a human being.
247
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:34,290
If you want to get anywhere
with a chick, you can't
treat them too nice-like.
248
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,825
Really?
Trust me, Chris.
249
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:38,595
The next time
you see this girl,
treat her like crap,
250
00:13:38,619 --> 00:13:42,987
and you'll be cooler than
a mid-'80s novelty
answering machine message.
251
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,134
♪ I'm glad you called,
but I'm not home
252
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,869
♪ But I'll be back
before too long
253
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,771
♪ You got to wait for the beep
You got to leave your name
254
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,274
♪ You got toleave your numberWait for the beep ♪
255
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:56,506
It's me again.I just had to hear itone more time.
256
00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,737
Chris, is everything okay?
257
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:02,607
You seem
a little, I don't know,
quiet tonight.
258
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,409
Yeah, everything's fine.
259
00:14:04,478 --> 00:14:06,255
Yes, can I have two tickets?
260
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:09,280
One man and one bitch
that needs to do
what I say.
261
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,227
What? That's not
funny, Chris.
262
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,284
Here's your ticket.
Pick that up!
263
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,164
Chris, why are you
acting like this?
264
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,822
Pick that up
and cook it into
something delicious
265
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:20,591
or knit it into something
that's useful to me!
266
00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:27,498
Are you ready to make out now?
267
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,880
Why in the world would
I want to do that after
what you just said?
268
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:33,082
You're obviously
not the person
I thought you were!
269
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,683
I never want to see you again!
270
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,319
I can't believe
I thought
you were special!
271
00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:41,445
Anna, wait! Oh, no!
What did I do?
272
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,982
Hey, Chris!
Guess what we just did!
Bonnie, tell him.
273
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,717
We had sex.
We had sex!
274
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,819
We had what Joe calls sex.
275
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,960
Chris, honey, what's wrong?
276
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,507
Anna took a dump on me.
277
00:14:57,531 --> 00:14:58,563
What?
278
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,765
Yeah, she broke up with me.
279
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:04,402
Oh, she dumped you.
That's what
you meant to say.
280
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:05,614
What's the difference?
281
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,206
Well, what you said first was...
282
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:12,244
Well, I mean, when
two grown-ups
love each other very much,
283
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:16,848
sometimes they show it by...
Never mind.
So, what happened?
284
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:19,951
I don't know.
I did everything Dad said.
285
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,653
I should've known
Peter had something
to do with this.
286
00:15:22,723 --> 00:15:25,256
You're not the first person
whose life he's screwed up.
287
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:34,399
Knock, knock. Nicole? Ronald?
Who's ready for Boggle?
288
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:39,837
Oh, my God! No!
Why? Why?
My beautiful Nicole!
289
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:44,875
My man, Ronald, who did this?
Oh, man, they were
so good together!
290
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,412
We were just
establishing our friendship.
291
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,347
They were about to get engaged.
292
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,916
Oh, he was going to ask me
to be an usher.
293
00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:53,896
I mean,
he already had enough
groomsmen,
294
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,553
so he made me an usher,
295
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:59,624
but just to think
I could be involved
in the ceremony in any way.
296
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,472
You told Chris
to act like a jerk
to this girl?
297
00:16:02,496 --> 00:16:04,663
Well, define "Chris."
298
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,051
Peter, he's really
upset right now.
299
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,468
I mean, he cared about
this girl a lot.
300
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:10,980
Can't you see what you've done?
301
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:13,371
I don't know,
I mean, I thought
I was helping.
302
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,039
But you may be right.
303
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:18,176
'Cause now Chris
is all sad and crying and
fat and bad at sports.
304
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:21,412
Well, you created this mess,
and you have
to help him fix it.
305
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:26,284
Man, parenting is more
complicated than
making a 1940s phone call.
306
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:29,120
Hello, operator?
Crestview 4162, please.
307
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,229
One moment, please.
308
00:16:47,641 --> 00:16:48,685
Hello?
Hello?
309
00:16:48,709 --> 00:16:49,752
Hello?
Hello?
310
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:50,853
Hello?
Hello?
311
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,043
Hello?
312
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:54,512
Well, what do
you know about that?
313
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:06,391
Hey, Chris, it's me.
I got something
for you here.
314
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:07,460
What is it?
315
00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:09,506
I caught you a bullfrog outside.
316
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:12,030
Poked some holes in its back
so it can breathe.
317
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:15,934
See, look at this... Oh, boy!
All right, hang on, hang on.
318
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,211
I'm never going to
be happy again.
319
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:02,948
I know how you feel, son,
but you can't give up now.
320
00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:05,161
Now, let's get out
there and meet
some ladies, huh?
321
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:08,619
But I don't want to
date anyone else.
I want Anna.
322
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:12,035
Chris, you don't want to
miss out on experiencing
your teenage years.
323
00:18:12,059 --> 00:18:15,259
If you do, you'll feel
as bad as I do
when I miss the toilet.
324
00:18:18,632 --> 00:18:20,131
Peter Griffin!
325
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:27,583
All right, Chris, have a seat.
326
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,007
Your date will be
here any minute.
327
00:18:29,076 --> 00:18:33,410
In fact, I think
she'll be coming
through that door.
328
00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:36,513
Hey, Chris. I'm Betty.
Sorry I'm late.
329
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:38,382
Your dad told me all about you.
330
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,384
You sound like a swell fella.
331
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:43,955
Thanks. So where
are you from?
332
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:45,623
I'm from the rich part of town,
333
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,225
so you know I'm a good egg.
334
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,160
But I'm more interested in you.
335
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,572
Did you finish
your homework today?
336
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:51,896
What?
337
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,232
You know,
your dad's got
a birthday coming up.
338
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,740
Have you given any thought
to what you
might be getting him?
339
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,248
How do you know
when my
dad's birthday is?
340
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,038
Well, that...
It doesn't matter.
341
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:03,241
What are you
getting your dad
for his birthday?
342
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,121
I don't know.
A tie.
343
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:08,179
I don't know
if he would want
one of those.
344
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,914
I think he's got enough ties.
345
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,515
I think he might...
346
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:14,104
Chris, I don't want a tie!
Pick something else!
347
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,220
Chris, this is Barbara,
348
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,767
the girl from your class
you used to
have a crush on.
349
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,236
Now, you kids enjoy yourselves,
350
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,104
and I'll create some atmosphere.
351
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,562
This is a favorite
by Men at Work.
352
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,470
♪ Do you come
from a land down under?
353
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:37,241
♪ Look at me with
a brand-new Hyundai ♪
354
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,381
I don't understand, Chris.
Your blind date
should be here by now.
355
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,450
She answered the ad.
356
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:46,817
Whoa!
357
00:19:52,092 --> 00:19:54,659
So, still no luck
on the girl front, huh?
358
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,996
I know Dad's been trying
to help, and
I'm trying to listen to him,
359
00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:00,109
but nothing seems to be working.
360
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:01,833
Well, I know
I asked him to help,
361
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:04,480
but it occurs to me
that you've
been taking advice
362
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:07,671
from everyone
except the one person
who matters.
363
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,207
What do you want, Chris?
364
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:11,842
All I want is to go out
with Anna again.
365
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:16,414
Then you just need to go
talk to her and tell her
exactly how you feel.
366
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:19,161
But she said
she never wants to
see me again.
367
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:22,721
Well, I'm sure you can
come up with some excuse
to see her at the vet.
368
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,869
Is there any more coffee?
369
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,694
Anna, I'm here with my dog.
370
00:20:30,764 --> 00:20:32,329
He's not feeling well.
371
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:33,731
Fuck you.
372
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,400
Don't you think
you'd rather go
to another vet?
373
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:41,839
'cause I wanted to apologize
for acting like such a jerk.
374
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,341
That's not who I am.
375
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,776
Oh, yeah, no, no, no.
Yeah, no,
you're a cool guy.
376
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,045
Brian, shut up!
377
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,980
Look, I was just really nervous
378
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:52,089
'cause I've never had
a girlfriend before,
379
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:55,018
and I wanted to make sure
I didn't do anything wrong.
380
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,988
You know, you really
hurt me, Chris.
381
00:20:58,057 --> 00:21:02,526
I know. I was wrong.
I don't want to
hurt anybody, Anna.
382
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,895
Please, just give me
another chance.
383
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,365
Gosh! He doesn't
look so good.
384
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,867
I know. But you do.
385
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,974
You know,
I get off at 4:00.
386
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,277
I might just be up for a movie.
387
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:25,583
Okay, somebody really needs
to help me here.
30192
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof