All language subtitles for English Teacher S01E08 Birthday

Okay,
I'll see you guys Thursday.

Good work.

Make sure
to get those papers in.

Mr. Marquez.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Uh, yeah.
What's up, Eddie?

I've been having
some thoughts...

Oh, my God.
Suicidal.

- You want me to call somebody?
- No, no, it-it's about my...

orientation,

I guess you would call it.
And...

I-I think I'm...

I-I think I'm gay.

And I know that you're gay,

and I thought that maybe
you could help me or, like,

talk me through how to tell
the people in my life.

'Cause...

this is all just
so new and scary, and...

could really use some support.

What?

You're scared to come out?

It's 2024.

Just go in the hall
and say, "I'm gay."

I-I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be mean.

Like, I can't help you
with this. This is--

I grew up in the '90s.
That was different.

Just-just go and get advice
from kids your age.

I mean, if you want
somebody to talk to,

go talk to one
of the many out gay kids

at this school, you know?

- Yeah. O-Okay.
- But be careful.

Don't talk to one
of those nonspecific queer kids

who may or may not be doing it
for clout.

Those people
are mostly straight.

- Don't tell anybody I said that.
- Yeah.

You're gonna want to find,
like, a real gay person.

Like, classic gay vibes.

You know. Queeny.

You know.
Should be easy to identify.

Don't tell anybody I said that.

Somebody your age.

They'll help you more than me.
I think.

But great-great--

Thanks.

Very good.
Okay.

I'll see you later.
Bye.

I don't know. I just feel
like you don't listen to me

when I tell you what I want.

I don't want a birthday event,
Malcolm.

Oh, my God, you fucking nerd.
It's not an event.

It's you and me going to a bar.

It's a leather daddy bar.

People need to have fun.
In this life. I'm sorry.

You and me are going
to fucking Tom of Austin

for your 35th
motherfucking birthday,

because you are a gay man
in your prime

and someone needs to suck

- your dick!
- Shh!

I'm at school.

Nobody needs to suck my dick.

I need to suck your dick.

I'm kidding.
No, we're friends, remember?

I have an outfit picked out
for you. It's cunt as hell.

No. I'm not wearing
whatever you have planned.

- I'm not wearing it.
- Yes. Yes.

It's cute. It's comfy.
You're gonna love it. Bye.

♪♪ Every time I see you falling ♪

♪♪ I get down on my knees
and pray ♪

♪♪ I'm waiting
for that final moment... ♪

I think my balls are
hanging out of these shorts.

Yeah, they're shorts, babe.

Well, I haven't dressed
like this since I was 24.

Some people
still think you're 24.

- Nobody thinks I'm 24, Malcolm.
- I mean, they do

when you're with me.
They're like,

"Look at those two
twentysomethings.

"They have their life
ahead of them.

"Are they going
to an Ice Spice concert?

I like them."

Let's just get inside the bar.
If some parent sees me out here,

- they're probably gonna try
to hate-crime me.
- Oh, my God.

Not everyone in the world
is a homophobe,

- as much as you love that.
- Malcolm.

I know we're in Austin,

but you forget
we are also in Texas.

Yeah, we are at a gay bar
in Texas

and a gay bar parking lot
filled with gay people's cars

and you-- I know you think
you're the only gay man

- in this universe, but--
- I feel like I hear

that you're about to start
talking about Berlin again.

- Am I right?
- I actually wasn't.

But let's fucking
go there, babe.

Because in Berlin, your life
is your work is your life

- and you can actually be
yourself in any environment.
- Right. Your life is your work.

- Don't-don't--
- That perspective
is what got you fired.

I resigned.

Like a U.S. president.

This could be fun, actually.

Ew. You're attracted
to the most, like,

basic bodybuilder bodies.

It's so embarrassing.

You can just say you're jealous.

I'm g--
I'm not jealous of him.

Uh, it's been a while since I've
been around just gay people.

This'll be good.
I'm doing something

that's not work for once.

He's 35. You don't need
to check it. 35.

I'm younger.

Check mine.

Surprise!

- Oh, my God.
- Happy birthday, Ev.

- Remember us?
- Happy birthday.

- Oh, my God.
- You like that?

This is insane, okay?
You cannot bring people

like the people I work with
to a place like this.

- They're gonna freak the fuck out.
- - God.

Oh, my God.
Daddy, chill. It's fine.

- They deserve to freak out.
- They don't need

- to be freaked out.
Moretti is here?
- Yeah.

You brought Grant Moretti
to this bar?

- How are you?
- I-I have to just do--

- Is this your idea
of, like, a fun surprise?
- Yes.

Yeah. That's why I did it.
I got to say, you're acting,

like, a little not grateful.

Just smile. Smile.
Have fun, have fun.

Evan, Evan, Evan. Malcolm.

- Hi.
- Hello. I just need

to disclose quickly
that since there are

more than
three faculty members here,

this is technically
a school event.

So I just--
Just act accordingly.

And happy birthday!

Happy birthday.

Are-are you okay?

Of course. Of course.
I'm open-minded.

I'm open-minded.

I'm a little uncomfortable,

but I'm working through it.
Hello.

Excuse me.
Don't touch him. Goodbye.

- Later.
- Thank you, sir. Thank you.

He's not interested.

You know, there's fisting porn
on three of the televisions.

- Oh, God.
- I think all the TVs are playing
the same thing, though.

No, no, no, no, no. They
all seem to be different ones.

There's a really, you know,

traditional,
missionary-style on one.

Of course, it's between two men
who are about 40 years old.

Why?
Why am I talking about this?

Grant, it's very sweet
that you came, but just--

- You don't need
to stay here, okay?
- No, no, no, no, no.

Stay. Come on. I'm gonna do
a little performance later.

- Might turn you on.
- I remember why it
was good you resigned, Malcolm.

- Mwah. See? Thank you.
I resigned.
- Mm.

Please, just stay
for one more hour.

All right. I'll--
Maybe a drink, then, and, uh,

hopefully some wings as well.

I don't think they have wings,
but there is

a cum-themed bundt cake
that, uh,

looks pretty good to me.

Maybe just a drink, then.

He's gonna get roofied.

Because of you.

Oh, my God.

They're not that bad for you.

♪♪ I'm the one you want ♪

♪♪ Baby, come get it ♪

♪♪ Feeling in my soul,
we can take this... ♪

- Chuck. It's me, dude.
- Uh...

Markie Hillridge, man.

- We played football
together in high school.
- Oh, my--

- Exactly. Yeah, dude.
- Markie? What the fuck, dude?

- How the fuck are you?
- Holy shit.

- Aw, it's been forever.
- I know.

What are you doing here?

I'm just here
at this birthday party.

Is that why you're here?
You got a party?

No, we're just--
we're just hanging.

Wait.

You ended up marrying
Kathy Durham, didn't you?

- Briefly, yeah.
- Oh.

What a dime piece, man.

- We're divorced. Yeah.
- What?

Can I get her number? I'm
kidding. No. That sucks, man.

I mean, you guys were,
like, joined at the hip

from junior high
to graduation and shit.

Y'all were perfect.
What happened?

Markie, I'm gay.

What?

- I sleep with men.
- Okay.

But-- Oh, sure.

But you weren't gay
in high school.

I was. Uh, yeah.
I was in the closet.

Huh.

So we beat Westlake
with a gay quarterback.

- Yeah, we did.
- That's what you're saying.

What, like, 300 yards that game
or some shit.

- At least. Was a good time.
- I wish you'd have come out
the moment we won.

I came out in the shower after.

This outfit is incredible.

Oh, thanks. Yeah.

Malcolm gave me this stuff.

It's so hot.

Nick knows he doesn't
have to be here, right?

No.

That is what I want
to talk to you about.

We broke up.

- What? When?
- I know.

Like-like, just, like-- Oh.

Okay, thank you.
I'm gonna take, uh, this one.

Mm-hmm. Mm.

Mm, mm-hmm, mm.

A few hours ago.

I just, like,
hit a breaking point.

- With the pool stuff?
- Yeah, with the pool.

And then, like,
in hindsight, that pool,

like, him digging his own pool

is just a way for him
to pretend to be busy

instead of looking for a job.

- Yeah, we all knew that.
- I didn't want

to say anything. I didn't want
you to worry about me.

I-I knew it.

It was painfully obvious.
To everyone.

Sure. Right.

Well, now you know the truth.

- Gwen.
- Yes, baby?

You really don't have
to be here.

What? No.

Are you kidding? I'm--
It's your birthday.

And I am definitely gonna find
a new man tonight.

Mama is loose.

- You're on the loose.
- Oh, my God, I'm on the loose.

Wait, do you want a drink?
I'm gonna get another drink.

How many shots have you had?

I'm gonna get laid.

No. Maybe.

Okay.

Yo, Ev. You know
your friend Daniel?

Who?

Daniel.
Your friend.

That guy over there.

That's not my friend.

That's, like,
a random waiter I met once.

He was telling me about poppers.

Okay, I wasn't gonna
come out tonight,

but then I thought,
"The community. I need it."

Wait, so can you finish
explaining what poppers are?

Remember the videos I showed you
of guys bottoming?

People use poppers for that.

Oh.

- Yo.
- Oh, my God.

- The whole gang's
officially back together again.
- Yeah.

Who are you?

Come on, hon.

Guys, I'm down to try poppers.

I-I got you.

I got you, boo.

Here-Here's mine.

All right, boys.

I got the poppers.

- Poppers!
- I just had a crazy idea.

I've been trying to get
a community together of artists

and people who dance
and sex workers.

If you guys are in,
I will leave my place.

I have a little bit
of settlement money

from when I sued
California Pizza Kitchen.

We have to go.

Good luck, babe.

Thank you.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Kind of surprised
to see you here.

I feel like you've been
sort of avoiding me

since the homecoming debacle.

Yeah, I've been
fully avoiding you.

But Malcolm called

and, um...

it's your birthday.

I enjoyed it.

Before I freaked out.

Our awkward kiss thing.

Yeah, right?
Before the freak-out?

- Yeah.
- Oh, it was great. Yeah.

- What are you guys
talking about?
- Oh, my God.

- Hi. Me?
- Hi.

- How are you?
- How are you?

- I'm good.
- How's the, um...

What is it that you do again?

Uh, thank you so much
for asking. I'm a dancer.

- Mm.
- Uh, yeah.
But right now I'm working

as a software engineer for
a very innovative tech start-up.

What is the start-up?

We provide tents
for unhoused people.

- Oh.
- Um, through an app.

Unhoused people
actually can't access an app,

'cause they don't have phones.

They're not called "cell-less."

They're called "homeless."
They have phones.

And why do you need the app?

Why can't you just
give people the tents?

So many people
keep asking me that.

But, you know, we're partnering
with North Face,

- which is really cool.
- Whoa.

Oh. Look at those guys.

Precious.

No, you can get it with someone.
I swear to God.

You really c-- Oh.

Hey, you slut.

How are you?

There is not a single
straight guy in the house.

- That's crazy. Hug?
- Hug.

- I love you.
- I love you.

Ah, there's the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow.

- Markie. I love you, too.
- Hey.

- Hey. Yeah.
- Aw.

- Cool.
- You're such a positive force
in my life,

and I am just so lucky
to know you.

You're so great.
Do I ever tell you that?

Wow.

I say that about you
all the time.

I feel the same way. I've always
wanted to say this to you.

- I--
- Oh, my God. I'm gonna see
about the karaoke situation.

- Hold on.
- - But I don't think they have karaoke here.

No, they let you
if you're persistent.

- Gwen is so drunk.
- Oh, my God.

More porn on the TVs here.

That's better.

You're welcome, by the way.

For Harry.

What do you mean?

I brokered peace
between you two.

Singlehandedly, by the way.

You didn't broker anything.

He's just a guy
I had an awkward kiss with.

Okay.
Well, now he's here,

and obviously he wants
to "S" and "F" you, so...

- Malcolm, it doesn't matter,
because nothing can happen.
- I know.

You care about your job.

But you do not need to be,

like, a cop in your own life.

That stupid rule
doesn't mean you can't

hook up with coworkers.

It means you can't get caught

hooking up with coworkers.

You-you-you don't understand

something so fundamental
about being a teacher.

My work

- and my personal life
- Oh, my God.

- are deeply separate things.
- Please stop talking

about teaching.
I'm begging you.

It's so boring.
It's so boring.

I honestly don't care.

If you don't want to hook up
with Harry, don't.

But, like, him and I
do have a vibe.

So if you don't fuck him,
I-I do have to.

'Kay?

Oh.

- Hey, Harry. Did you see?
- Hey. Hey, guys.

- Harry walked into the bathroom.
- Good to see you again.

- Hey.
- Evan, didn't you have to--
You were telling me

how much you had to go
to the bathroom.

Pee-style, you said.

Not poop.

Bye, guys.

Sorry, he's always trying

to make me uncomfortable.

I'm uncomfortable
so much of my life, honestly.

This thing does not get hot.

Well, everything else around
here is working perfectly.

I know.

So, uh...

What should we do?

What do you mean?

I kind of dig a crazy girl.

When we did this at school,
it didn't end very well.

That's true.

But we are not
at school right now.

Hello. Am I allowed
to pee in here?

- Yeah, of course you can pee.
It's a, it's a bathroom.
- No, I-I just heard

that bathrooms are
high-activity areas, you know?

Oh. Okay.
I'm so sorry, gentlemen.

Oh. Whoa. Nope? Good.

I'm gonna...

Guess I'll see you in there.

Bye.

I'm telling you guys, seriously,
modern-day root beer

tastes nothing
like O.G. root beer.

- That can't be true.
- It is true. Look it up.

Hey, one sec. Evan.

Hey, man, this place
is fucking awesome, dude.

These guys are great.

They're hanging
on my every word, man.

It's like they're on
Team Markie big-time.

Yeah, so, basically, these guys

- want to have sex with you.
- With me?

- Yeah.
- Why?

You're kind of a classic bear.

You think more of these guys...
like, does everybody here

- want to fuck me?
- A lot of people do.

- Do you want to fuck me?
- No, I'm good.

- Okay.
- Is it making you uncomfortable?

- You want me to do
something about it?
- No, no.

No, not at all, actually.
It's very flattering.

I'm-a hang on to this
for a little bit.

Makes you think,
though, you know?

Like, imagine me as a gay dude.

I'd have to bang
all these dudes.

And probably all those dudes.

It would suck to suck that much,
if you know what I'm saying.

No, but if you were gay,
you would like it,

so it wouldn't feel like work.

Nah, I don't think I'd like it.
Nah. Sorry.

Even if I was gay as hell,
even if I was gayer than you,

I don't think I'd like it.

Guys, I'm on the root beer wiki.
It's true.

- Wow.
- - I'll catch up with you later.

Are you okay, Rick?

You look like you
maybe are not okay.

- What's going on?
- Just doing my best

at keeping Austin weird.

Dude, poppers. These things
are gonna be the next big thing.

I'm gonna sell these things
at a 200% markup.

Yeah. How much of this
did you do?

- The... a lot.
- Yeah.

Oh, can you text me,
so I remember:

"Poppers profit
straight community."

Yeah, I'll text you in a second.
I'm gonna take these with me.

- Okay? You hold steady here.
- All right, buddy.

Hope the money
doesn't change me.

- I'm gonna sing a song, okay?
- Nope. Hey, hey, hey.

Hey. How are you?
Hey. Hi. How are you?

- Haven't seen you in a bit.
- Great.

I'm gonna sing a ka...
a song for you,

and it's gonna be a cappella.

Okay, kill the music, please.
Thank you.

♪♪ It's Gay Town City ♪

♪♪ Ah, it's Gay Town City ♪

♪♪ Everybody loves gays ♪

♪♪ Everybody loves girls ♪

♪♪ But gays don't love girls. ♪

- Oh, shit,
I'm about to Shazam this one.
- Oh, wait, it's okay,

do you know how h-hot
I am considered by men?

And not a single one of you
has even started

to look at my cleavage.

And that is also

awful for me.

♪♪ But I'll still sing ♪

♪♪ For my gays... ♪

- No.
- Work, bitch.

- That was great.
Give it up for you.
- Hold on, wait.

No, that's...

Keep the hag.

Keep the hag.

- Keep the hag.
- Hey, be nice.

Do not call her "hag."

- She's my friend.
- Malcolm, let's stop

with the misogyny.

A white woman with red hair?

Do you know how hard she had it?

- Time to go. Time to go.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
- I love you, baby.

- Okay.
- Give it up for Gwen.

Somebody gave me ketamine.

I don't know what that is.

We're here tonight
to celebrate a man.

A myth, some would say.

Maybe a legend. Evan Marquez.

Our Latinx queen.

- Evan's my hero.
- You know, people
will tell you in this life,

they'll say,
"You can't, you can't be gay."

- Nobody says that.
- They say that. They say that.

- Okay.
- The point is,

- we're here to celebrate you.
- Mm-hmm.

- All of you.
- Aw...

I'm gonna celebrate Evan
right now

with all of me.

Hit it.

Uh.

Yeah, it's getting sad
and sexual here.

Whoo!
Gay pride.

You know what's coming?

Something really hot.

♪♪ I want to hold the hand ♪

♪♪ Inside y... ♪
Shit.

It was supposed to be wh...
a whipped cream reveal,

but it got smushed
in the jacket,

but it looked good before.

♪♪ I want to hold the hand ♪

♪♪ That's true ♪

Still good, though, right?

I'm not going up there.

♪♪ I look to you and I see ♪

- ♪♪ Nothing ♪
- Come on.

- Do it yourself.
- No, you can come up with me.

- No, come on.
- Get up there, Evan.

Come on.

Okay.

♪♪ In shadows ♪

Loser. Loser!

♪♪ Some kind of night ♪

♪♪ Into your darkness ♪

Harry. Harry.

Come up with me.
This is another teacher.

Harry.
♪♪ I want to... ♪

We-We've been rehearsing this
for weeks.

Weeks now.
You know this one, right?

You cool with this?

Both your guys up there
getting steamy?

Neither of them are "my guys."

They're my friends. It's fine.

If I've learned nothing else
in your world,

it's that there's no such thing
as "just friends."

- What does that mean?
- You know what I mean.
Come on, man.

I see, I see the way
you look at Harry.

I see the way he looks at you.
You guys got chemistry.

It's fine.
I'm not a jealous guy.

They can do what they want.

Look, dude,
when you look at him,

it reminds me
of how I look at Gwen.

And vice versa.

- What?
- Come on.

You don't have to be naive

or pretend like you don't see
that there's definitely

something brewing
between her and I.

With you and Gwen?

She said it by the bathroom.

"I love you, Markie."
What was all that?

- Markie.
- What?

I j... look, I ju... I suffer
in silence 'cause I don't want

to be a home-wrecker.

I...

I'm sorry, this is
such new information.

I mean, you wouldn't be
a home-wrecker.

She-she broke up
with Nick tonight.

Who? They what?

Gwen and Nick broke up.

Oh, my God, dude, tonigh...

It's a full moon, brother.
Tonight's our night.

It's the night you and I go
after the ones we love.

♪♪ Fade into you ♪

♪♪ Strange we never knew. ♪

Get up there, Evan.

Get up there and plant your flag

in front of God
and all these gay dudes.

Get up there
and mark your territory...

♪♪ These are the times
that I think about ♪

♪♪ Red lights and the feeling ♪

♪♪ That I needed you ♪

♪♪ Oh, you got me
right in nirvana ♪

♪♪ So fast ♪

♪♪ You're the best part
of a sad song ♪

♪♪ You got me all out of breath ♪

- ♪♪ Too fast, and I miss you
when I'm going home ♪
- Yes. Yes. Yes.

♪♪ And I've been running
in circles... ♪

Oh, so you're, like,
in love with me now?

- Yeah. I think that's
a possibility, yeah.
- Okay, great.

♪♪ Feel the end
if I'm not out of nirvana. ♪

♪♪ Fade into you ♪

- Evan.
- ♪♪ It's strange you ♪

- ♪♪ Never knew ♪
- I meant the other guy, dude.

Come on.

♪♪ You gotta fade ♪

- Doofus.
- ♪♪ Into your darkness ♪

♪♪ Oh, yeah. ♪

Don't lay down,
that's when the spins start.

I'll be right with you.
One moment, please.

Okay. Rude.

Evan, I'm proud of you.

You knew Malcolm was
no longer faculty...

...so, good for you.
You kissed the right guy.

That's not why
I kissed him, Grant.

I'm not gonna live my life
by those rules anymore.

Should've been Harry. Seriously.

I said it to you, man.
Chemistry is off the charts.

Should've kissed
both of them thangs.

Yeah, no, Harry's great,

but, you know,

Malcolm is... Malcolm

and he has a special place
in my heart.

The heart wants
what it wants, you know.

I miss the gay bar.

You might just miss
the poppers.

I miss the poppers.

- Wait, where is Malcolm?
- That waiter

Daniel invited him to an orgy.

Unbelievable.

Well, whatever.
I accept him for who he is.

You got to let people be
who they are.

- Whoa.
- And that's the only
relationship advice

- worth a damn.
- Yes.

That is actually, like, so true.

Gwen, your voice was
amazing tonight.

You were like a...
you were a songbird.

A true songbird.

I didn't sing at the bar, did I?

That is damn good.

I haven't had one of these
in probably, uh, 20 years.

My wife forbids it.

Oh-ho-ho, bad boy.

Just tonight.
It's a special night.

Why is it special?

Just feels special.

Aw.

And it's your birthday.

Hey.

Oh-ho.

- Hi, teachers.
- Look at this funky guy.

- I thought you were at the orgy.
- I went.

It was good.

That waiter's so fucking
annoying, but he gives a...

almost academic blow job.

Apartment or warehouse?

Um, Home Depot stockroom.

Mmm.

Stocking up on caulk.

Oh-ho-ho,
look at these two lovebirds.

We had a really nice long talk,

and we're back together.

- Aw, that's amazing.
- And you know why?

It's because, Markie, you said
something so awesome in the car.

You said, "You got to let
people be who they are."

- Aw.
- Oh. That's cute.
- Yeah.

Thanks, Markie,
for what you said.

All right, just gonna announce
something real quick.

This pool, guys, is almost done.

I mean, it's almost ready.

But the water in it looks
like dirty sink water.

Well, you shouldn't go in.
The filter has

- to actually be
up and running before--
- Exactly.

- So it's not ready, is what you're saying.
- - It's not ready.

- But show 'em the jets.
- Okay, okay.

- I would love to see the jets.
- Yeah.

Let's see the jets.

- Got it on Bluetooth here.
- Bluetooth?

- Watch this shit.
- Three, two,

one.

- Oh, my God!
- Oh!

- It's the main pipe!
- No, no, no, no.
Not on the burger.

Have to turn off the valve.

This is kind of...

Kind of boyfy-boyfy?

A little bit.

♪♪ I could repair you so gently ♪

♪♪ So ♪

♪♪ Can we kiss
in your swimming pool? ♪

♪♪ In this bathing suit ♪

♪♪ I would die for you ♪

♪♪ Maybe I don't have
to leave so soon ♪

♪♪ You look heavenly
in this shade of blue ♪

♪♪ We don't have
to complicate it ♪

♪♪ I just want to be
alone with you ♪

♪♪ I ♪

♪♪ Just want to be alone
with you. ♪