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1
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:05,071
That covers everything,
2
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:07,073
unless anyone else
has anything they'd like to say.
3
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:08,074
Yes, I do.
4
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:10,576
Today would've been
Mahatma Gandhi's birthday.
5
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,579
And I think
in honor of the occasion,
6
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:15,081
we should observe
a moment of silence.
7
00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:24,090
Mahatma who?
8
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:30,096
Mahatma Gandhi.
9
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,101
A great man.
10
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:37,103
Bill, shut up.
11
00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:40,606
This is supposed to be
a moment of silence.
12
00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:45,111
Sorry.
13
00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:47,113
Okay, well,
thank you, everybody.
14
00:00:47,113 --> 00:00:48,614
Maybe we'll try this
again next year.
15
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,617
You know, I bet
if we lived in India,
16
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,118
we'd get a three-day
weekend or something.
17
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,620
It might be appropriate
at this time
18
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,623
to also have
a moment of silence
19
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,625
for Mr. Ben Kingsley,
20
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:01,127
who, as we all know,
played Mahatma Gandhi
21
00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:02,128
in the film
of the same name.
22
00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:12,138
Ben Kingsley's
not dead.
23
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:13,639
No, but he's a hell
of an actor, isn't he?
24
00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:17,143
I have an announcement
to make.
25
00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:18,644
It's not exactly
radio-related,
26
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,647
but it concerns
the office staff.
27
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:23,650
Specifically, theft
from the refrigerator in the kitchenette.
28
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,151
Thank you, Joe.
29
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:26,652
Now, I don't mean
to lecture everybody,
30
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,154
but I've had
some complaints--
31
00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:30,156
About people
stealing other people's
32
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:32,158
special brand
of chocolate gelato,
33
00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:35,661
which can only be purchased
at Carducci's on Prince Street.
34
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:38,164
Now, I know you may not
think of it as theft, but it is.
35
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:40,666
Especially when you've been
doing it every day
36
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,168
for the past two weeks,
whoever you are.
37
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,169
Exactly.
38
00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:44,670
So please stop it.
39
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,172
Because you will
get caught.
40
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:48,174
Hey, Joe, do you have
anything you'd like to add?
41
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:50,176
No.
42
00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,178
All right, then I think
that's everything. Thanks a lot, everybody.
43
00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:54,180
Thanks, Dave.
44
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:57,683
That's okay, Joe.
45
00:01:57,684 --> 00:02:01,187
I guess now
all we can do is wait.
46
00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,189
Or, you know what I could do,
47
00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:04,690
I could rig
a tiny mercury switch
48
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:06,192
with a low-grade
incendiary device
49
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:09,695
that will explode
a blast of gelato on the perpetrator
50
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,198
when they open up
this container.
51
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:13,199
That container?
52
00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:15,701
You know,
a container like this.
53
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,205
Not this one.
54
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:22,208
Joe, I'd like
to open your gelato.
55
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,709
Why do you want
to open that?
56
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,211
I just would.
It's a thing.
57
00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:27,213
Go ahead.
It's all right.
58
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:29,715
Thank you, Joe. Um...
59
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,225
Okay. Okay. Sorry, Joe.
I just-- I just had to check.
60
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:40,226
No problem.
61
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,230
Oh, my God, how'd you
know it wouldn't blow up in his face?
62
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:45,731
I built in a time delay.
63
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:46,733
15 seconds.
What?
64
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:47,734
14 Seconds, 13...
65
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,736
Grab the garbage can,
dude, come on.
66
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:50,737
Oh, my God,
this is so cool.
67
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,239
12, 11, 10...
68
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:54,240
I got this garbage--
69
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,741
10, 9, 8...
70
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,253
What the hell?
71
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,255
Sorry. According
to my calculations,
72
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,257
it shouldn't have
gone off...till now.
73
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:14,260
Well, it didn't, Joe.
74
00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,264
[♪]
75
00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:49,295
Hello, Milos.
76
00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:50,796
Pudding go boom.
77
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,299
Yes, of course.
78
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,301
Greetings, wage apes.
79
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,803
Mr. James, I thought
you were taking a vacation this week.
80
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,305
I'm on it.
81
00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:00,806
Really? Where are you
going to go?
82
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:04,811
Why travel when
you got the resources of the world's greatest city
83
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:05,812
right here, right?
84
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:06,813
Right.
85
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:07,814
Yeah.
86
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:10,316
I'm going to go
use the can.
87
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:11,817
Okay.
88
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,830
Dave...
89
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,832
what do you do when
you're in a relationship
90
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,834
and the sexual heat
starts to fade?
91
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:29,335
Gosh, I don't know.
92
00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:32,338
Ask my boss about it?
93
00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:35,841
I'm having problems
with Keith.
94
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,343
Keith? Who's Keith?
95
00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:40,346
Keith, duh, my boyfriend
for the past three years, Dave.
96
00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:42,848
What kind of name
is "Keith Duh"?
97
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,851
Hardy-har-har-har.
98
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,853
How come I've never
seen this guy?
99
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,354
He's in England right now.
100
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:49,855
Oh. How long
has he been away?
101
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,357
Two and a half years.
102
00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:54,860
So this could be called
a long-distance relationship?
103
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,362
Geographically speaking, yes,
104
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:58,364
but as we know, Dave,
105
00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:01,367
the most important
sexual organ...
106
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,369
is right here.
107
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,372
The hair?
108
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:07,373
The brain.
109
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:08,374
Yeah.
110
00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:09,875
You're with me now?
111
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,377
I need some advice.
112
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:13,379
Do you have
anything at all?
113
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:14,880
Yeah, well, seems
clear as day to me.
114
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,382
Great. I'm all ears.
115
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:16,882
Go ask Lisa.
116
00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:23,389
Dave, Dave, want to see a movie
about a talking pig?
117
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,392
No thanks, sir.
118
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:27,393
Oh.
119
00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,895
Talking pig!
Can you imagine that?
120
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:37,403
I don't know. I guess
if the sexual thrill is fading,
121
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,905
the most important thing
is communication,
122
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:42,408
so you should just
talk to Keith and be honest with him.
123
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:43,909
Yeah...
124
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:46,913
Did you ever take
naked pictures of yourself
125
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,414
for a boyfriend?
126
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:50,916
Beth, you don't really
want to do that.
127
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:53,419
I already did it,
my friend.
128
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,920
No, you didn't.
129
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,923
Oh, yes, I did.
Last night.
130
00:05:56,923 --> 00:06:00,426
Pictures of me
totally nude.
131
00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:01,927
No, you didn't.
Oh, yes, I did.
132
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,429
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
133
00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:04,430
[BEEPING]
134
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,439
Why?
135
00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:14,940
Oh, come on.
136
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,442
Don't tell me that
you and Dave
137
00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:18,444
have never taken
naked pictures of each other?
138
00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:20,446
No, we haven't.
139
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:21,947
That's really sad.
140
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:24,450
Well, Dave and I like to do
this other kinky thing
141
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,952
where we both live
on the same continent.
142
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:29,955
What?
143
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,458
It's just sad that you missed
that whole phase
144
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:34,460
of sexual phenomena.
145
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:35,961
It's no big deal.
It's just sad.
146
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,965
Well, it's not that sad.
It's fine.
147
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,969
Have you ever taken
naked pictures of yourself?
148
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,475
Mom, I'm going to
have to call you back.
149
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,477
Okay, honey.Bye-bye.
150
00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:57,984
I'm sorry.
You were saying?
151
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,986
Have you ever had a girl
152
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:02,488
send you naked pictures
of herself?
153
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:03,489
Sure.
154
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,491
Who?
155
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,992
Elizabeth.
156
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,495
No, no, you know Elizabeth.
I've told you about her.
157
00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:11,997
You know, she was--
she was the Dukakis supporter...
158
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,499
Oh, right.
159
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:15,501
She learned how to play the bass
so she could start a band.
160
00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,503
Yeah.
161
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:19,004
Do you think that that was
162
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,507
a more sexually adventurous
relationship than we have?
163
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,008
God, no. No.
164
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,510
Lisa, come on.
165
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,512
Come on, we've had sex
in this office so many times,
166
00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:28,514
I'm thinking of having a mirror
put on the ceiling.
167
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,015
Yeah...
168
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:33,019
But-- I mean, isn't that
just sort of the same thing
169
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,520
over and over and over again?
170
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,022
I mean, maybe we should
try something new.
171
00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:39,025
Okay. I know.
172
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:40,026
Uh...
173
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,527
I'm going to go
photocopy my ass,
174
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:43,028
and I'll fax it
to your laptop,
175
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:45,531
then maybe we can get on
with our lives, what do you say?
176
00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,032
You don't have
to be sarcastic, Dave.
177
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:50,036
I know. I just find it helps
when you're being insane.
178
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:55,541
Did you fax your ass
to Elizabeth?
179
00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:58,544
No.
180
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,548
We didn't have
the technology then.
181
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,551
Look. I'm sorry.
182
00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:07,052
Look, I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what.
183
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,554
How's about this?
184
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,556
I'll come to
your place tonight...
185
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,057
completely naked, of course,
186
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:14,560
except I'll be wearing one
of them crazy African masks.
187
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,062
Does that do it for you,
huh, superfreak?
188
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,565
Does that get
your mojo rising?
189
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:24,570
Come on,
I'm just joking.
190
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:29,575
You ever see
a talking pig?
191
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:33,078
Mr. James, I don't think
the pigs actually talk.
192
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,081
They do it
with computers.
193
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,083
Oh. A computerized talking pig.
194
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:40,086
What the hell
are they going to think of next?
195
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,587
Don't know.
196
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:47,093
Okay. Got the pictures.
You wanna see them?
197
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,594
All right,
now you look at them first.
198
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:51,597
If they're too embarrassing,
I don't even want to see them.
199
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,102
Well?
200
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,603
Well...
201
00:08:57,603 --> 00:09:00,105
Are they erotic?
202
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:01,607
Well, that would depend
203
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:06,111
if you find an 80-year-old man
named Harvey erotic.
204
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,613
See?
205
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:09,114
"Happy 80th, Harvey."
206
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,117
These aren't my pictures,
207
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,618
which means that my pictures
208
00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:15,120
are still down
at the photo place.
209
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:16,122
I don't understand.
210
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,623
If you're going to take
naked pictures of yourself,
211
00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:19,625
why didn't you just use
a Polaroid?
212
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,627
You know what?
I'm really not in the mood
213
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,629
to get into, like,
an artistic discussion with you right now. Thanks.
214
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:26,632
Okay, come on,
we've got to get to the photo store. Come on.
215
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,145
Did Dave ever mention
216
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,648
a girl named Elizabeth
to you?
217
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:44,650
You mean the bass-playing
Dukakis chick
218
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,151
who gave him nude photos?
219
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:47,153
Yes.
Never heard of her.
220
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,156
Yo, ladies!
Where we off to?
221
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,658
Tampons.
222
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:59,665
Hey, Matthew,
where you off to?
223
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:01,166
Uh, bathroom?
224
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,680
How can I help you?
225
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,682
Hi. I was in here
earlier,
226
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:18,684
and someone gave me
the wrong film.
227
00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:20,185
I was just wondering
228
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:23,689
if you could give these
back to the 80-year-old birthday guy?
229
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,190
Harvey.
Yeah. Harvey, I guess, is his name.
230
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:27,193
I'll take my film
and go. Thanks.
231
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,694
Just a sec.
232
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,195
Okay. That's great.
233
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:31,697
I think you're safe.
234
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:33,699
You don't think
he was looking at me funny?
235
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:34,700
No. Not at all.
236
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:37,202
I just want
to get out of here.
237
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:44,209
What is taking so long?
238
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:50,716
Oh, God.
239
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,718
Oh, my God.
Excuse me.
240
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,219
Is there a problem?
241
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,722
What can I do?
Anything?
242
00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:58,724
Could my friend
just have her film, please?
243
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:00,225
That's not me.
That's my twin sister.
244
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,227
I have a twin sister.
245
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,229
She has red hair
and I have red hair.
246
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:04,230
You know how they always say
247
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,232
one twin is bad
and one twin is good?
248
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:07,233
Thanks, bye.
Thanks.
249
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:08,234
Any time.
250
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:23,749
I'll be back
in 22 minutes.
251
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:35,260
E-7.
252
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,263
You sunk my battleship.
253
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,767
Excellent!
254
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,773
Hey, girls,
did you get your...
255
00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:51,276
Never mind.
256
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:52,778
You Leroy?
257
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:54,279
Who's asking?
258
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,282
Cut the crap, Leroy.
You were supposed to meet me downstairs.
259
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,784
Now, come on, we got
36 floors to deliver to.
260
00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,285
Deliver what?
261
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:02,288
Deliver water, dufus.
Let's move.
262
00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:22,808
Let's see your hands.
263
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:24,309
What are you doing?
264
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,812
I covered the gelato container
with an ultraviolet dye
265
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:29,314
that you can only see
under black light.
266
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,317
Are you calling me a thief?
267
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,818
No. Just saying, for all I know,
268
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,820
you could be the guy
who's been stealing my stuff.
269
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:35,821
For all I know,
270
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,823
you could be stealing
your own gelato
271
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:40,826
in some sort of
desperate cry for help.
272
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:43,829
Ooh, Bill!
273
00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:46,331
Your shirt's psychedelic.
274
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,836
Busted.
275
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:54,339
No, Joe. Joe, I swear
I did not eat your gelato.
276
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:58,344
I had to move it
to get to my frozen yogurt.
277
00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:00,346
You rub the container
all over your face?
278
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:03,849
It felt so cool and tingly.
279
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:06,852
Am I free
to leave now,
280
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:09,855
or are you going to you need me
for a lineup?
281
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:11,857
Look at this.
This is kind of cool.
282
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:13,859
Look at this. Bill, look.
283
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:16,862
Mummenschanz.
284
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,864
That's not funny.
Yes, it is.
285
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,866
It's not funny.
286
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,871
Lisa, Lisa, check it out.
287
00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:28,373
Mummenschanz.
288
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:29,375
Hoo! Hah!
289
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:32,378
Oh. Okay. Never mind.
290
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,383
Okay, Lisa, look,
I've got Keith on hold, right?
291
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:38,884
Okay, I'm going
to pick up the phone--
292
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:41,386
give me, like, three seconds,
and then go, "Beth, I need you."
293
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,388
Okay.
294
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:43,389
Hi, Keith.
295
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:44,390
Beth, I need you!
296
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:45,391
Just a second!
297
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:48,894
No, I did,
I took the pictures,
298
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,396
but last night, I burned them.
299
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:55,401
I just didn't really feel
like you wanted me to send the pictures.
300
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:57,403
Okay, I will.
I'll take some more.
301
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:58,404
Beth, I need you!
302
00:13:58,404 --> 00:13:59,405
Just a second!
303
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:04,410
Okay, bye.
304
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:09,415
You still really, really, really
want to do this?
305
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:10,916
No.
306
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,918
I don't understand then.
Why are you doing it?
307
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:15,420
Because Keith
sent me his.
308
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:16,422
Beth, please.
309
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,424
Can you not
shove those--
310
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,426
Wait a minute.
311
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:33,438
Hey, come on.
I'm sorry.
312
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:36,942
I guess I am
a little bit uncomfortable...
313
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,944
talking about sex.
314
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:42,447
Were you a little bit
uncomfortable talking about sex
315
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:43,949
with Elizabeth?
316
00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:46,451
All I ever remember
talking about with Elizabeth
317
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:49,955
was Dukakis, and how hard
it was playing the bass.
318
00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:52,457
It's all right, Dave.
Let's just forget it. It's no big deal.
319
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,460
Let me try. I really
want to try, okay?
320
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,962
Why don't we go out
for dinner tonight, some place really nice,
321
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:58,964
just us, and we'll
just talk it out?
322
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:01,466
Okay. Where?
323
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:05,971
This all-naked
sushi place on 47th street.
324
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:07,472
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
325
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:08,974
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
326
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:09,975
Let's have dinner.
327
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,980
Polaroids.
Just like you said.
328
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,482
Aren't you afraid
somebody's going to see these?
329
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:18,484
I've already thought of that,
330
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,985
and I've taken
certain measures
331
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:22,487
to make sure that
no one knows it's me. Take a look.
332
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:30,496
What? I know
I have to get back on the Stairmaster.
333
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:31,997
No. No. Your body's fine.
334
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,999
It's just the, um...
335
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,501
the paper bag
over your head
336
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,504
that's making me giggle.
I'm sorry.
337
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:40,506
Lisa, you are so immature.
338
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:42,007
[GASPS]
339
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:43,008
Why?
340
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:46,511
I thought
the brown paper bag looked too creepy,
341
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,013
so I drew a little
smiley face on it.
342
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,017
Oh, these aren't sexy.
343
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,518
I can't send these.
344
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,521
Keith is going
to break up with me.
345
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:56,522
No, he won't.
346
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,023
No, I'm sure that
Keith will--
347
00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,024
Hang on, hang on,
hang on.
348
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,525
Bill, could I ask
your opinion about something?
349
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:01,527
Just a sec.
350
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,529
What are you doing?
351
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:08,534
He won't know it's me.
I have a brown paper bag with a smiley face on it.
352
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,536
Bill, what do you think
of this photo?
353
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,538
Who is that?
354
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:15,541
Friend of mine
who's doing a thesis at NYU.
355
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:16,542
It's a fine arts program.
356
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,544
Uh-huh. Well, it's
an interesting commentary
357
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:22,047
on the objectification
of the female form,
358
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:25,550
and the masks that women
are forced to wear
359
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,052
in our society.
360
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:31,056
If I were the NEA,
I'd give her 5, 6 grand.
361
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:34,059
Well, Bill,
you think it's sexy?
362
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:36,061
Well, I don't really think
363
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:37,562
that's germane
to a discussion of the statement
364
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:40,566
the artist
is trying to make.
365
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,067
Thank you, Bill.
366
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,576
Beth's showing nudie photos
367
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:52,578
of herself
with a paper bag over her head.
368
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:58,083
Check it out.
369
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:06,091
All right, I found out
who's stealing my gelato,
370
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:10,095
and I have a photo
of the guilty party caught in the act.
371
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:13,098
In flagrante gelato,
so to speak?
372
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:14,599
How did you
get it?
373
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,602
I concealed
a motion-sensitive camera
374
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:19,104
inside this brick of cheese
on the freezer.
375
00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:21,106
Okay, Joe, who is it?
376
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:22,107
Boom.
377
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:25,611
Milos?
378
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,112
That's that janitor guy.
379
00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:29,114
He has a name, Bill.
380
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:32,117
Right.
Milos the janitor guy.
381
00:17:32,117 --> 00:17:34,119
I'd like to be there
when you fire him, Dave.
382
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,621
Look... I'm not going
to fire him, Joe.
383
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:38,624
The man's a criminal.
384
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:41,627
The man is not
a criminal, Joseph.
385
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:44,129
He's just--
he's less fortunate than all of us.
386
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:47,132
Haven't you ever read
Les Miserables?
387
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:48,633
Look, Joe, obviously,
the guy likes gelato,
388
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,636
but can't afford
to buy it himself.
389
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:52,638
Joe, start bringing in
two gelatos.
390
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:55,140
Let Milos take his
and eat the other one yourself.
391
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:57,142
I'm not buying gelato
for a thief.
392
00:17:57,142 --> 00:17:59,144
Okay. Fine.
I'll buy it, okay?
393
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:01,146
Here's a hundred bucks.
394
00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:03,148
I buy, you fly.
395
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:05,150
Oh, this is so bogus!
396
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:06,651
I don't believe this.
397
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:10,656
This is so cool.
You guys, say "fromage"!
398
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:25,170
I am so good.
399
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,671
Thanks, Beth.
400
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,674
Oh, Beth, I wanted
to ask you something.
401
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,175
Oh, what was it?
402
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:31,676
Oh, I remember.
403
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:34,680
Did you ever send off
those naked pictures?
404
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,682
What? Who told you
about those?
405
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:37,683
Nobody told me.
406
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,184
I had some film developed,
407
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:41,686
and they threw in
some nudie pictures of you for free.
408
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:44,189
I'm kidding, Beth.
Lisa told me.
409
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:47,192
Well, you know, I faxed
the nudie pictures to Keith,
410
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,694
and he invited me
to come visit him next week.
411
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,196
That's great.
412
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:54,199
Yeah, so could I have a week off
and a $2,000 salary advance?
413
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:55,700
No.
414
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:58,203
I'll show you
the naked pictures.
415
00:18:58,203 --> 00:18:59,704
Okay. We'll talk.
416
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:05,210
[BUZZING LIPS]
417
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:07,712
Hey, there, sir.
Vacation over?
418
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,214
Yeah.
419
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:11,716
Get all that water delivered?
420
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:14,719
I got... [MUMBLES]
421
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,221
Pardon?
422
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,722
I got fired.
423
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,227
Really? Why?
424
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,229
Well... [MUMBLES]
425
00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:25,730
Pardon?
426
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:28,734
Fell asleep
in the back of the water truck.
427
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:31,236
Well, that's what
vacations are for.
428
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:33,238
Yeah, well, vacations
suck anyway.
429
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:34,239
I'll see you tomorrow.
430
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:36,241
Good night, sir.
431
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:37,742
Hey, sweetie.
432
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,244
Ready to go?
433
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:40,745
Yeah.
434
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,247
Are you hungry?
435
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:43,248
Yeah.
436
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,754
Now, did Elizabeth just send you
the photos on her own,
437
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,756
or did you ask her
for them?
438
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,758
I'm just trying to--
439
00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:59,764
She asked me to tell her
my deepest, darkest fantasy,
440
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,266
and I didn't want to,
441
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:04,769
so I made up something
about photos.
442
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:05,771
Tell me.
443
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:07,272
Oh, come on.
444
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:08,273
Oh, please.
445
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:10,775
Tell me
your deepest, darkest fantasy.
446
00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,778
Maybe it's something
we can do.
447
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,279
It's embarrassing. No.
Oh, Dave, come on.
448
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:16,281
Please.
449
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,785
Okay, um...
450
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:21,787
Every since I was 14,
451
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:26,291
I've always fantasized
about making love on the space shuttle.
452
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:30,295
Well, that's...
453
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:32,797
that's adorable, Dave.
454
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:35,801
With a space prostitute.
455
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:42,307
All right.
You're joking again.
456
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:45,810
I wish I were.
457
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:49,815
Well, do you think
you could give me a fantasy
458
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,817
that's a little bit
more reasonable?
459
00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:56,321
Okay. Let me try this.
Come here.
460
00:20:56,321 --> 00:21:00,825
I'd like to go up
onto the roof of my building,
461
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:04,329
bring up a blanket
and a very good bottle of wine,
462
00:21:04,329 --> 00:21:05,830
and make love with
a space prostitute.
463
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:06,832
Dave!
464
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,335
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
465
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:11,836
I'm really sorry.
466
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,840
All right, Dave,
the last thing I want to do is get involved in this,
467
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,342
but why don't you just tell her
what turns you on?
468
00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:18,843
That would ruin it.
Why? Why is that?
469
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:22,347
Well, what really turns me on
is when Lisa's mad at me.
470
00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:26,351
I wish I didn't know that.
You going to her place right now?
471
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:28,353
LISA: Dave,
are you coming or not?
472
00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:28,853
Oh, yeah.
473
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,362
How's everything, Milos?
474
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:38,863
All is good.
475
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:40,866
You got something
for me?
476
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:41,867
Yeah.
477
00:21:46,371 --> 00:21:50,375
Mr. Bill, why is it
you don't buy ice cream yourself?
478
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:54,379
I'm not going to drive
60 blocks out of my way just for ice cream.
479
00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:56,381
It's the principle
of the thing.
480
00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:58,383
I understand.
481
00:21:58,383 --> 00:21:59,384
Thank you, Mr. Bill.
482
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:00,885
Not a problem.
483
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,387
Oh, by the way, Milos,
starting tomorrow,
484
00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:03,888
there will be
an extra gelato.
485
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:05,891
Enjoy it
with my compliments.
486
00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:14,399
[♪]
33635
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