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1
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,561
Chandler: I'm sorry.
Rachel: Oh, my god. That's it.
2
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:22,022
You just barge in here
and you don't knock?
3
00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,107
You have no respect
for anybody's privacy.
4
00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:25,901
- Rachel, wait.
- No, you wait.
5
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,612
- Can I just say one thing?
- What? What?
6
00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:32,074
That's a relatively open weave
and I can still see your...
7
00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:35,244
- Nippular area.
- Ugh!
8
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,508
Honey, honey, tell them the story
about your patient...
9
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,468
Who thinks things are
other things.
10
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,262
You know?
11
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,515
Like when the phone rings
and she takes a shower...
12
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:42,019
That's pretty much it.
13
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,814
But you tell it really well, sweetie.
14
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,191
Thanks. Okay.
15
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,986
Now go away so we can
talk about you.
16
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:52,904
Okay. I'll miss you.
17
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,116
Isn't he great?
18
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,619
He's so cute. And he
likes you so much.
19
00:01:58,827 --> 00:01:59,870
I know. I know.
20
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,998
He's so sweet.
And so complicated, you know?
21
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,627
And for a shrink,
he's not too "shrinky." You know?
22
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,754
So you think you'll do it on his couch?
23
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,757
Oh. I don't know. That's a little weird.
24
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,383
It's vinyl.
25
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,348
- Okay. You guys want anything else?
- Oh, yes.
26
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,238
- Could I have...?
- Sorry, we're all out.
27
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,601
- Anybody else?
- Okay.
28
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,395
Did I, uh, miss something?
29
00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:28,815
No, she's still upset
because I saw her boobies.
30
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:32,569
What were you doing
seeing her boobies?
31
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:33,862
It was an accident.
32
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,865
I wasn't across the street with
a telescope and a box of doughnuts.
33
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,494
Can we change the subject, please?
34
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,873
Because, hello? These aren't her
"boobies." These are her breasts.
35
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,503
Pheebs, I was hoping
for more of a change.
36
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:54,091
I don't know why you're embarrassed.
They were very nice boobies.
37
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,551
"Nice"?
38
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,053
They were "nice"?
39
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,056
That's it?
I mean, mittens are "nice."
40
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,519
Okay. Rock, hard place...
41
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,145
Me.
42
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,485
You're so funny.
43
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,780
He's really funny.
44
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,909
I wouldn't want to be there when
the laughter stops.
45
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,120
Whoa, whoa. Back up there, sparky.
46
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:26,665
What did you mean by that?
47
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,794
It seems that maybe
you have intimacy issues...
48
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:34,840
That you use your humor
to keep people at a distance.
49
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,220
I mean, hey, I just met you.
I don't know you from Adam.
50
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,140
Only child, right?
51
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,852
Parents divorced
before you hit puberty.
52
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,564
Uh-huh. How did you know?
53
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:52,399
It's textbook.
54
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,695
Hey, you guys.
55
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,488
You all know my dad, right?
56
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,408
- How long are you in the city?
- A couple of days.
57
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:02,701
I got a job midtown.
58
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,791
I figure I'm better off
staying with the kid...
59
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,664
Than hauling my ass back and forth
on the ferry.
60
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,040
I don't know this one.
61
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,376
- Oh. This is my friend Roger.
- Hi.
62
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,211
- Good to meet you.
- Roger: You too.
63
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:16,256
What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
64
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,717
- —Dad, uh...
- Oh, oh.
65
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:19,968
Excuse me.
66
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:21,845
80, Ross, uh, how's the wife?
67
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,433
Oh for two, huh? Heh.
68
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,144
Uh, Chandler, quick,
say something funny.
69
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,031
Gotta go. Ha, ha.
I miss you too.
70
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,366
I love you,
but it's getting late now...
71
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,243
Let me say hi. Hey, ma.
72
00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:49,164
Listen, I made the appointment
with Dr. Bassida and...
73
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,458
Excuse me?
74
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,505
Did you know this isn't ma?
75
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,723
Her name's ronni.
76
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,893
She's a pet mortician.
77
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,232
Sure.
78
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,360
So how long have you been...
79
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:23,365
Remember when you were a kid,
I'd take you to the Navy yard...
80
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:24,991
And show you the big ships?
81
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,995
- Since then?
- No, it's only been six years.
82
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:30,872
I wanted to give you
a nice memory...
83
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:34,334
So you'd know I wasn't always
such a terrible guy.
84
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,339
Joe, have you ever been in love?
85
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,092
I don't know.
86
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,219
Then you haven't.
87
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,806
- You're burning your tomatoes.
- Hmm. You're one to talk.
88
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,352
Joe, your dad's in love, bigtime.
89
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:55,355
And the worst part is,
it's with two different women.
90
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,650
Oh, man. Please tell me
one of them is ma.
91
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,820
Of course one of them's ma.
What's the matter with you?
92
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,123
It's like if you woke up one day
and found out...
93
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,458
Your dad was
leading this double life.
94
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:19,671
He's, like, actually some spy
working for the CIA.
95
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,590
That'd be cool.
96
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:23,842
This blows.
97
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,972
I know. Why can't parents
just stay parents?
98
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,141
Why do they
have to become people?
99
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,310
Why do they have...?
100
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,358
Can't you stop staring
at my breasts?
101
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:42,819
What?
102
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,364
What?
103
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,951
Didn't you get a good enough
look the other day?
104
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,578
All right, we're all adults here.
105
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,581
There's only one way
to resolve this.
106
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,333
Since you saw her boobies...
107
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:59,085
I think, uh, you're gonna have to
show her your pee-pee.
108
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,972
You know,
I don't see that happening.
109
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,517
Come on. He's right.
Tit for tat.
110
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,900
Well I'm not showing you my tat.
111
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,029
Hello?
112
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,490
Phoebe: It's Phoebe.
Roger: And rog.
113
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:30,909
Come on up.
114
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,120
Oh, good. Rog is here.
115
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:38,541
- What's the matter with rog?
- Nothing. It's a little thing.
116
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,585
I hate that guy.
117
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:44,881
What? So he was a little analytical.
That's what he does.
118
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,008
Come on, he's not that bad.
119
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:50,011
That's where you're wrong.
Why would I marry her...
120
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:53,056
If I thought on any level
that she was a lesbian?
121
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,392
I don't know.
122
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,352
Maybe you wanted
your marriage to fail.
123
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,442
-Ha, ha. —why? Why would I? Why?
124
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,486
Why? Why? Why?
125
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:10,657
I don't know.
Maybe low self-esteem?
126
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:14,869
Maybe to compensate
for overshadowing a sibling. Maybe...
127
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,914
Wait.
Go back to that "sibling" thing.
128
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,834
Well, I don't know.
129
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:24,212
It's conceivable that
you sabotaged your marriage...
130
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:28,091
So the sibling would be less
of a failure in the parents' eyes.
131
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:35,724
That's ridiculous.
I don't feel guilty for her failures.
132
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,187
- Oh, so you think I'm a failure?
- Isn't he good?
133
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:44,691
Yeah. No.
That's not what I was saying.
134
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,943
All these years,
I thought you were on my side...
135
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,529
But maybe you were
sucking up to mom and dad...
136
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:50,864
So they'd favor you.
137
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,491
Hey, I married a lesbian
to make you look good.
138
00:08:58,455 --> 00:08:59,622
You're right.
139
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,291
I mean, you're right.
140
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,295
It wasn't just the weebles,
but it was the weeble play palace...
141
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,258
And the weeble's cruise ship...
142
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:14,429
Which had this little lifeboat
for the weebles to wobble in.
143
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,474
That's tough, tough stuff.
144
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:21,102
Pheebs, if we're gonna
catch that movie, we gotta go.
145
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,979
Okay. Feel better, okay?
146
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,065
- Roger: We're gonna be late, sweetie.
- Okay.
147
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,109
- Listen, thanks for everything, mon.
- No problem.
148
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,236
It was great seeing you again.
149
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,825
Mon, uh, easy on those cookies, okay?
150
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,203
Remember, they're just food...
151
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:39,829
They're not love.
152
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,919
I hate that guy.
153
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:50,882
Joey: Good night, you guys.
154
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,554
Oh, look.
It's the woman we ordered.
155
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,977
Hey. Can, uh... can we help you?
156
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:06,481
Oh. No, thanks. I'm just waiting
for, uh, Joey tribbiani.
157
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,400
I'm Joey tribbiani.
158
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:13,238
Oh. Oh, no, not you. Big Joey.
159
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,489
Oh, my god.
160
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,367
You're so much cuter than
your pictures.
161
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,538
I'm ronni.
162
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:25,792
Cheese nip?
163
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,338
Uh, Joey's having an embolism...
164
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,215
But I'd go for a nip.
165
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,016
You see, most people,
when their pets pass on...
166
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,894
They want them laid out
like they're sleeping.
167
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:48,273
But occasionally you get a person
who wants them in a pose.
168
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,234
Like, uh, chasing their tail.
169
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:55,238
Or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
170
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,950
Joey, if I go first, I want to be
looking for my keys.
171
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,204
- That's a good one.
- Hey, Joe.
172
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,956
Hey, dad. Ronni's here.
173
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,457
Huh?
174
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:07,917
Hey. Ronni: Hey.
175
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,627
Hello, babe.
176
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,797
What are...? What are you doing here?
177
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,758
Oh, uh, you left your hair
at my apartment.
178
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,386
I figured you'd need it
for your meeting.
179
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,265
Thank you. Uh...
180
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,853
So who's up for a big
game of kerplunk?
181
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,442
Look, I, uh...
182
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,319
I shouldn't have come.
183
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,988
I gotta go.
I'll miss the last train.
184
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,282
No, I don't want you taking
that thing this late.
185
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,868
- Where am I gonna stay? Here?
- Whoa.
186
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,579
We'll go to a hotel.
187
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:46,915
We'll go to a hotel.
188
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,460
- No, you won't.
- No, we won't.
189
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,588
If you go to a hotel,
you'll be doing stuff.
190
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,758
I want you right here,
where I can keep an eye on you.
191
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,635
You're gonna keep an eye on us?
192
00:11:58,843 --> 00:11:59,886
That's right, mister.
193
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,597
I don't care how old you are,
while you're here...
194
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,266
You're gonna live by my rules.
195
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,773
And that means no sleeping
with your girlfriend.
196
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,068
Wow, he's strict.
197
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,778
Dad, you'll be in my room.
198
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:20,031
Ronni, uh, you can stay in
Chandler's room.
199
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,659
Thanks. You're a good kid.
200
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,911
Come on.
I'll show you to my room.
201
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,500
That sounds weird when it's not
followed by, "no, thanks, it's late."
202
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:38,132
Okay. This is just for tonight.
Starting tomorrow, you gotta change.
203
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,885
- Six years is long enough.
- What kind of change?
204
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,096
- Break up with ronni...
- I can't.
205
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,974
Then come clean with ma.
This is not right.
206
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,227
I don't wanna hear it.
Now go to my room.
207
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,909
Hey, kickie.
208
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,123
- What are you doing?
- —trying to get comfortable.
209
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:13,251
- I can't sleep in my undennear.
- Well, you're gonna.
210
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:21,384
I've been thinking...
211
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,929
About how I'm always
seeing girls on top of girls.
212
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:31,185
Are they end-to-end,
or tall, like pancakes?
213
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,772
You know what I mean.
How I date all these women.
214
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,859
I always figured, when
the right one comes along...
215
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,404
I'll be able to be a standup guy
and go the distance, you know?
216
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,032
Now I'm looking at my dad thinking...
217
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,659
You're not him, you're you.
218
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:51,414
When they wanted you to go into
your father's business, did you cave?
219
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,707
-No.
220
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,251
You decided to go into
the out-of—work-actor business.
221
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,589
That wasn't easy, but you did it.
222
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:03,217
And I believe that
when the right woman comes along...
223
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,345
You'll have the guts to say:
224
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:06,971
"No thanks, I'm married."
225
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:14,979
You really think so?
226
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,315
Yeah. I really do.
227
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,150
- Thanks, Chandler.
- Get off.
228
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,331
-Hi.
229
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:34,582
May I help you?
230
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:38,503
Uh, Joey said I could use your shower
since, uh, Chandler's in ours.
231
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,255
Okay. Who are you?
232
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,801
- Oh, uh, I'm ronni. Ronni rapalono.
- —uh—huh.
233
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,969
The mistress?
234
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,890
- Um, come on in.
- Thanks.
235
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,059
Hi, I'm Rachel.
Bathroom's up there.
236
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,310
Hey, ronni.
237
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,687
How long has Chandler been
in the shower?
238
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,689
Oh. Like, uh, five minutes.
239
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,067
Perfect.
240
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,862
Fasten your seat belts...
241
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,697
It's pee-pee time.
242
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,996
Hey, Mr. Trib.
243
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,915
Hey. Good morning, dear.
244
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,712
Chandler bing,
it's time to see your thing.
245
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,894
- What's the matter with you?
- I thought it was Chandler.
246
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:40,815
You were supposed to be in there
so I could see your thing.
247
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,278
Sorry, my thing
was in there with me.
248
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,036
Phoebe: Hey. All: Hey, pheebs.
249
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,622
- Monica: How's it going?
- Good. Oh, oh.
250
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,542
Roger's having a dinner thing
and he wanted me to invite you guys.
251
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,549
- So, what's going on?
- Nothing.
252
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,426
It's just that, uh...
253
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:10,511
It's Roger.
254
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,514
Um, ahem, I don't know.
There's something about... ahem.
255
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,975
Basically, we just feel
that he's, uh...
256
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,268
We hate that guy.
257
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,728
Monica: We hate him.
258
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,480
We're sorry, pheebs.
259
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:21,981
Uh—huh. Okay.
260
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:25,568
Don't you think maybe it's just that
he's so perceptive...
261
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,445
That it freaked you out?
262
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,447
- No, I hate him.
- No, we hate him.
263
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,823
I'm sorry.
264
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,796
Ma. What are you doing here?
265
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,049
I came to give you this...
266
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:49,550
And this. —ow.
267
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,260
Big ring.
268
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:54,555
Why did you fill your father's head
with that garbage...
269
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,433
About making things right?
270
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,936
Things were fine the way they were.
271
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,855
There's chicken in there.
Put it away.
272
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,983
For god's sake, Joey. Really.
273
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,987
Hold on. You knew?
274
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,573
Of course I knew.
What do you think?
275
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,201
Your father is no James Bond.
276
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,286
You should have heard
his cover stories.
277
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,789
"I'm sleeping over at
my accountant's."
278
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,291
I mean, what is that? Please.
279
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,377
So then, how could you...?
280
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,088
Do you remember
how your father used to be?
281
00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:31,551
Always yelling.
Nothing made him happy.
282
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:35,513
Not that wood shop, not those
stupid little ships in the bottle.
283
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,265
Now he's happy.
284
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,101
I mean, it's nice.
He has a hobby.
285
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:46,023
Ma, I don't mean
to be disrespectful, but...
286
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,960
What the hell
are you talking about?
287
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,613
- I mean, what about you?
- Me? I'm fine.
288
00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:54,615
Look, honey...
289
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,076
In an ideal world...
290
00:17:57,368 --> 00:18:00,538
There'd be no her and your father
would look like sting.
291
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,584
And I'll tell you something else:
292
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:08,170
Ever since that
poodle-stuffer came along...
293
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:12,717
He's been so ashamed of himself
that he's been more attentive.
294
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,802
He's been more loving.
295
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,555
It's like every day is
our anniversary.
296
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,182
I'm happy for you...?
297
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:21,601
Well, don't be.
298
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,520
Because now everything's screwed up.
299
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:30,276
I just want it the way it was.
300
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,404
Joey: Ma, I'm sorry.
301
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:37,116
I just did what
I thought you'd want.
302
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:41,287
I know you did, cookie.
Oh, I know you did.
303
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,666
So tell me...
304
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,169
Did you see her?
305
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,342
You're 10 times prettier
than she is.
306
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,885
That's sweet.
307
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:58,971
Could I take her?
308
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,975
With this ring, no contest.
309
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,398
Roger: What's wrong, sweetie?
Phoebe: Nothing.
310
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:12,151
No, no. What's wrong? Come on.
311
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:13,778
Okay.
312
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,783
It's nothing. I'm fine.
313
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,951
It's just, um... it's my friends.
314
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,871
They have a liking problem with you...
315
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,331
In that, um...
316
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,957
They don't.
317
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:31,754
Oh. They don't?
318
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,048
But you know...
319
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:37,093
They don't see all
of the wonderfulness that I see.
320
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:40,846
They don't see all the good stuff
and all the sweet stuff.
321
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,640
They think you're a little...
322
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,102
- What?
- Intense and creepy.
323
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,650
But I don't. Me. Phoebe.
324
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,113
Well, I'm not at all surprised
they feel that way.
325
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,740
You're not?
See, that's why you're so great.
326
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,243
Actually, it's
quite typical behavior...
327
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:06,664
When you have this kind
of dysfunctional group dynamic.
328
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,500
You know, this kind of codependent...
329
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,377
Emotionally stunted...
330
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:16,799
Sitting in your stupid coffeehouse,
with your stupid big cups...
331
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,386
Which, I'm sorry, might as well
have nipples on them.
332
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:26,308
And you're all like,
"oh, define me. Define me.
333
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:29,311
Love me. I need love."
334
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:32,440
So you talked to your dad, huh?
335
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:35,693
Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on ma,
like she wanted.
336
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,545
Ma's gonna keep pretending
she doesn't know even though she does.
337
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,532
And my sister Tina
can't see her husband anymore...
338
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,826
Because he got
a restraining order.
339
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:48,080
Which has nothing to do with it,
except that I found out today.
340
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,084
Things sure have changed here
on walton's mountain.
341
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,421
So, Joey, are you okay?
342
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,173
Yeah, I guess.
343
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,675
It's just...
You know, they're parents.
344
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,887
After a certain point,
you gotta let go.
345
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:04,764
Even if you know better...
346
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,475
You gotta let them make
their own mistakes.
347
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:08,726
And just think...
348
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,061
In a couple years,
we get to turn into them.
349
00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:12,688
Oh, please.
350
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,524
If I turn into my parents,
I'll either be an alcoholic blond...
351
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:18,778
Chasing after 20-year-old boys...
352
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:20,821
Or I'll end up like my mom.
353
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,869
Hey. All: Hey, pheebs.
354
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,537
Monica: How's it going?
355
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,041
Okay, except I broke up with Roger.
356
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,793
All: Oh.
357
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:35,127
Yeah, right.
358
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,922
All: No, no, really. Aw.
359
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:42,927
- What happened?
- Ugh. I don't know. I mean...
360
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,637
He's a good person...
361
00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,764
And he can be really sweet.
362
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:50,267
And in some ways,
I think he is so right for me.
363
00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,937
It's just, I hate that guy.
364
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,113
Hey, Joey. What's going on?
365
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,991
Clear the tracks for the boobie
payback express.
366
00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:08,035
Next stop, Rachel green.
367
00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:16,752
Joey, what the hell were you doing?
368
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,547
Sorry, wrong boobies.
369
00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:33,894
Hello, Joey.
370
00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:36,647
Hello, dear.
25791
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