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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:52,761 There's nothing to tell. It's just some guy I work with. 2 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,138 Come on. You're going out with a guy. 3 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,849 There's gotta be something wrong with him. 4 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,935 So does he have a hump and a hair piece? 5 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,772 Wait. Does he eat chalk? 6 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:08,235 I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl. Oh. 7 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:11,238 Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. 8 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,408 It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex. 9 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,159 Sounds like a date to me. 10 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,873 I'm back in high school, in the middle of the cafeteria... 11 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,419 And I realize I'm totally naked. 12 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,170 - Oh, yeah. - I've had that dream. 13 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:31,466 Then I look down and I realize there is a phone... 14 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,011 There. 15 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,847 - Instead of... - That's right! 16 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,700 Monica: That one, I've never had. Phoebe: No. 17 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:42,853 All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. 18 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,813 And it turns out it's my mother. 19 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:50,861 Which is very, very weird because she never calls me. 20 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,955 This guy says "hello," I wanna kill myself. 21 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,415 Are you okay, sweetie? 22 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:08,337 I feel like someone grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth... 23 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:11,381 - And tied it around my neck. - Cookie? 24 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,885 Carol moved her stuff out today. 25 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,136 Phoebe & Joey: Oh. 26 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,096 - Let me get you some coffee. - Thanks. 27 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,938 No. No, don't! Stop cleansing my aura. 28 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,775 Just leave my aura alone, okay? 29 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,655 I'll be fine. All right? Really. I hope she'll be very happy. 30 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,156 - No, you don't. - No, I don't. 31 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,158 To hell with her. She left me! 32 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,161 And you never knew she was a lesbian. 33 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:47,376 No! Okay? 34 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,337 Why does everyone keep fixating on that? 35 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,758 She didn't know. How should I know? 36 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:59,262 Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. 37 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,891 Did I say that out loud? 38 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:08,897 All right, Ross. Look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now. 39 00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:11,483 You're angry. You're hurting. 40 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,944 Can I tell you what the answer is? 41 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,445 Strip joints! 42 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,950 Come on, you're single. Have some hormones. 43 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,452 See, but I don't want to be single, okay? 44 00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:25,831 I just wanna be married again. 45 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,088 And I just want a million dollars! 46 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,298 Rachel? 47 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,176 Oh, god, Monica! Hi! Thank god! 48 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:41,513 I went to your building and this guy with a hammer said... 49 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,890 That you might be here, and you are. 50 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:47,644 - Can I get you some coffee? - Decaf. 51 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:52,190 Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln high survivor. 52 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,901 This is everybody. This is Chandler and Phoebe... 53 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:57,362 And Joey. And remember my brother, Ross? 54 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:58,655 - Sure! - Hey. 55 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,741 - Hi. - Oh, god. 56 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:12,127 So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? 57 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:19,342 Oh, god! Well, it started about a half-hour before the wedding. 58 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,928 I was in this room with all the presents... 59 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,930 And I was looking at this gravy boat. 60 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:27,559 This really gorgeous limoges gravy boat. 61 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:29,561 When all of a sudden... Sweet 'n low? 62 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,855 I realized... 63 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:35,942 I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry. 64 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,154 Then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: 65 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:42,115 How much Barry looks like Mr. Potato head. 66 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,786 You know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but... 67 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:51,291 Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering: 68 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:55,128 "Why am I doing this?" And "who am I doing this for?" 69 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:59,674 Anyway, I just didn't know where to go, and I know you and I have drifted apart... 70 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,719 But you're the only person I know in the city. 71 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,596 Who wasn't invited to the wedding. 72 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,891 Oh, I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue. 73 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,574 I'm guessing he bought her the big pipe organ... 74 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,202 And she's really not happy about it. 75 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:31,498 Daddy, I just... I can't marry him. 76 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,333 I'm sorry. 77 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,378 I just don't love him. 78 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,506 Well, it matters to me. 79 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,386 Chandler: She should not be wearing those pants. 80 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,556 I say push her down the stairs. 81 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,976 All: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! 82 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,232 Come on, daddy, listen to me! 83 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,987 It's like all of my life, everyone's always told me, "you're a shoe! 84 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,239 You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" 85 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,617 Then today I stopped and said, "what if I don't wanna be a shoe? 86 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,996 What if I wanna be a purse? You know? 87 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,418 I don't want you to buy me a hat, I am a hat. 88 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,795 It's a metaphor, daddy! 89 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,382 You can see where he'd have trouble. 90 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,512 Look, daddy, it's my life. 91 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,308 Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica. 92 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,813 I guess we've established she's staying with Monica. 93 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,693 Well, maybe that's my decision. 94 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,529 Well, maybe I don't need your money. 95 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,948 Wait! Wait! I said maybe! 96 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,124 Okay. Just breathe, that's it. 97 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,793 Just try to think of nice, calm things. 98 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:02,881 Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens 99 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:07,218 doorbells and sleigh bells and something with mittens 100 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:11,348 la la la something with string 101 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,391 I'm all better now. 102 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,187 I helped. 103 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,191 Monica: Look, this is probably for the best, you know? 104 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:24,069 Independence. Taking control of your life. 105 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:28,615 And, hey, if you need anything, you can always come to Joey. 106 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:32,202 Me and Chandler live right across the hall. And he's away a lot. 107 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,623 Joey, stop hitting on her. It's her wedding day. 108 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,792 What? Like there's a rule or something? 109 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:44,881 Please don't do that again. It's a horrible sound. 110 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,467 - Paul: Uh, it's Paul. - Buzz him in. 111 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,053 - Who's Paul? - Paul, the wine guy, Paul? 112 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,304 Maybe. 113 00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:54,808 Wait a minute. Your "not a real date" is with Paul, the wine guy? 114 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,810 - He finally asked you out? - Yes. 115 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,770 Ooh. This is a "dear diary" moment. 116 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,815 Rach, wait, I can cancel. 117 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,858 Please, no. Go, I'll be fine. 118 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,737 Ross, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay? 119 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,740 That'd be good. 120 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:14,869 - Really? - No, go on! It's Paul, the wine guy. 121 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,126 Monica: Hi, come in. Paul, this is... 122 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,546 Everybody. Everybody, this is Paul. 123 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,047 Joey: Paul, the wine guy. 124 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:30,093 - Wine guy. - I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it? 125 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,054 - Okay. Sit down. Two seconds. - Okay. 126 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,311 Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good. 127 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,733 So, Rachel, what are you up to tonight? 128 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:49,112 Well, I was supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon... 129 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,321 So, nothing. 130 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,951 Right. You're not even getting your honeymoon. 131 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:59,205 God. No, no. Although, Aruba. Heh. This time of year? Eh. 132 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,958 Talk about your... 133 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,168 Big lizards. 134 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,675 Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight... 135 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,720 Joey and Chandler are helping me with my furniture. 136 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:17,057 Yes, and we're very excited about it. 137 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,560 Actually, thanks, but I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. 138 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,771 - It's been a long day. - Oh, sure. Okay. Sure. 139 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,272 Hey, pheebs, you wanna help? 140 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,649 Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to. 141 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:39,287 I'm supposed to attach a bracket-y thing to the side things... 142 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:42,248 Using a bunch of these little worm guys. 143 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:48,171 I have no bracket-y thing, I see no worm guys whatsoever... 144 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:51,424 And I cannot feel my legs. 145 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,052 What's this? 146 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,263 I have no idea. 147 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,559 - Done with the bookcase. - All finished. 148 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,940 This was Carol's favorite beer. 149 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,694 She always drank it out of the can. I should have known. 150 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:15,073 Hey. Ross, let me ask you a question. 151 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:19,452 She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV. 152 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,662 What did you get? 153 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,038 You guys. 154 00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,290 - Oh, god. Oh, my god. - You got screwed. 155 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:28,795 - Oh, my god. - I know, I know. I'm such an idiot. 156 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:33,883 I should've caught on when she went to the dentist four and five times a week. 157 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,261 I mean, how clean can teeth get? 158 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,847 My brother's going through that. He's such a mess. 159 00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,682 How did you get through it? 160 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,394 He might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers. 161 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,146 - Say her... - Leg? 162 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,231 Heh. That's one way of going through it, yeah. 163 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,316 Me, I went for the watch. 164 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,652 - You actually broke her watch? - Mm. 165 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,364 Barry, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. 166 00:10:56,614 --> 00:11:01,536 You probably think it's about making love with your socks on, but it isn't. 167 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:04,539 It isn't, it's about me. And I... 168 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,632 Hi. Machine cut me off again. Anyway... 169 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:20,513 You know what's scary? What if there's only one woman for everybody? 170 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:24,058 I mean, what if you get one woman, and that's it? 171 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:29,105 Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman for her. 172 00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:32,817 What are you talking about? One woman. 173 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:37,030 That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. 174 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,950 Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. 175 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:45,580 There's rocky road and cookie dough and bing cherry vanilla. 176 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:50,710 You can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream. 177 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,630 This is the best thing that ever happened to you. 178 00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,674 You got married. You were like, what, 8? 179 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:02,639 Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon. 180 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,350 I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny. 181 00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,185 Then stay out of my freezer. 182 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:14,359 Ever since she walked out on me, I... 183 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,653 What? What? 184 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,655 You wanna spell it out with noodles? 185 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:22,450 No, it's more of a fifth date kind of revelation. 186 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,287 Oh, so there's gonna be a fifth date? 187 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,499 Isn't there? 188 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,876 Yeah, yeah. I think there is. 189 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,421 What were you gonna say? 190 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,175 Well... er, uh... 191 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:42,553 Ever since she left me, um... 192 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,975 I haven't been able to perform... 193 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,434 ."Sexuahy. 194 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,814 Oh, god! Oh, god! I am so... 195 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,232 - I'm so sorry. - It's okay. 196 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,860 Being spit on is probably not what you need right now. 197 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,197 How long? 198 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:02,824 Two years. 199 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,413 I'm glad you smashed her watch. 200 00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:13,793 So you still think you might want that fifth date? 201 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,341 Yeah, I do. 202 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,887 I, joanie, take you, Charles, as my lawful husband. 203 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,474 - Minister: Do you take joanie...? - Oh! See. 204 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:33,855 But joanie loved chachi. That's the difference. 205 00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:36,774 "Grab a spoon." 206 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,610 Do you know long it's been since I grabbed a spoon? 207 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:42,947 Do the words, "Billy, don't be a hero," mean anything to you? 208 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:49,704 You know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough... 209 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:52,415 To ask a woman out... 210 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,293 Who am I gonna ask? 211 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:17,982 Isn't this amazing? 212 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,485 I mean, I have never made coffee before in my life. 213 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,154 - That is amazing. - Congratulations. 214 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:28,076 While you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make a western omelet or something... 215 00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:34,457 Although, actually I'm really not that hungry this morning. 216 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,852 - Good morning. - Monica: Good morning. 217 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,503 Morning. Joey: Morning. 218 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,589 Morning. Joey: Morning, Paul. 219 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:44,967 - Hello, Paul. - Hi. Paul, is it? 220 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,849 Monica: I had a really great time last night. 221 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,893 Paul: Thank you. Thank you so much. 222 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,480 - We'll talk later, okay? - Yeah. 223 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,986 Thank you. 224 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,620 That wasn't a real date. 225 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:16,165 What the hell do you do on a real date? 226 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:20,503 - Shut up and put my table back. - Joey: Okay. 227 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,547 All right, kids, I gotta get to work. 228 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:28,261 If I don't input those numbers, it doesn't make much of a difference. 229 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,433 So, like, you guys all have jobs? 230 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:35,893 Yeah, we all have jobs. 231 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,729 See, that's how we buy stuff. 232 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,649 Yeah, I'm an actor. 233 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,068 Wow. Would I have seen you in anything? 234 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,612 Oh, I doubt it. Mostly regional work. 235 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:50,408 Unless you happened to catch the wee one's production of Pinocchio. 236 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,202 "Look, geppeto. I'm a real live boy." 237 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,748 I will not take this abuse. 238 00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,917 You're right. I'm sorry. 239 00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:03,045 Once I was a wooden boy a little wooden boy 240 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,469 Monica: So how are you doing today? Did you sleep okay? 241 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:13,014 Did you talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling. 242 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:17,685 I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth. 243 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:26,402 I know. He's just so... 244 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,112 Remember you and Tony de Marco? 245 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:32,325 - Oh, yeah. - Well, it's like that. With feelings. 246 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,869 Oh, wow, are you in trouble! 247 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:39,332 Okay, okay. I am just going to get up, go to work... 248 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,210 And not think about him all day. 249 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:45,338 Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work. 250 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,131 - Oh, wish me luck! - What for? 251 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:50,635 I'm gonna go get one of those job things. 252 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:01,229 - Hey, Monica. - Hey, franny. Welcome back. 253 00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,897 How was Florida? 254 00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,398 You had sex, didn't you? 255 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,318 How do you do that? 256 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:12,240 - So, who? - You know Paul? 257 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,367 Paul, the wine guy? 258 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,118 Oh, yeah, I know Paul. 259 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:21,165 You mean, you know Paul like I know Paul? 260 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,668 Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. 261 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:27,964 Before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years. 262 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,761 Of course it was a line. 263 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,847 Why? Why would anybody do something like that? 264 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,309 We're looking for an answer more sophisticated than: 265 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,395 "To get you into bed." 266 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:45,022 Is it me? 267 00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:48,734 Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs... 268 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,529 And men with severe emotional problems can hear? 269 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,656 All right, come here. Give me your feet. 270 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,999 I just thought he was nice, you know? 271 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,337 I can't believe you didn't know it was a line. 272 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,260 Guess what. 273 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,220 - You got a job? - Are you kidding? 274 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,055 I'm trained for nothing. 275 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,934 I was laughed out of 12 interviews today. 276 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,644 Yet you're surprisingly upbeat. 277 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:27,356 Well, you would be too if you found Joan and David boots on sale... 278 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,275 50 percent off. 279 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,277 Oh, how well you know me. 280 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,364 They're my new "I don't need a job or my parents. 281 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,783 I've got great boots" boots. 282 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,370 - How'd you pay for them? - Uh, credit card. 283 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,581 And who pays for that? 284 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,334 Um, my father. 285 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,088 You can't live off your parents your whole life. 286 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,967 I know that. That's why I was getting married. 287 00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:58,346 Give her a break. It's hard being on your own for the first time. 288 00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,014 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 289 00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,892 I remember when I first came to this city, I was 14. 290 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,936 My mom had killed herself and my stepdad was back in prison. 291 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,147 And I got here, and I didn't know anybody. 292 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,692 I ended up living with this albino guy who was cleaning windshields... 293 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:15,655 Outside port authority. And then he killed himself. 294 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:20,242 And then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel. 295 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,124 The word you're looking for is: 296 00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:28,959 "Anyway. 297 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,256 All right. You ready? 298 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,133 - I don't think so. - Ross: Oh, come on. 299 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,885 Cut. Cut. 300 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:41,055 All: Cut, cut, cut. 301 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,601 Ross: Hey. Monica: All right. 302 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,561 Welcome to the real world. 303 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:50,523 It sucks. You're gonna love it. 304 00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:00,783 Well, that's it. You gonna crash on the couch? 305 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:04,328 - No. No, I gotta go home sometime. - Are you gonna be okay? 306 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,916 Look what I just found on the floor. 307 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,461 What? 308 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,422 That's Paul's watch. 309 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,674 You can just put it back where you found it. 310 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,762 Oh, boy. All right. Good night, everybody. 311 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:22,972 Ross & Rachel: Good night. 312 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,149 - Hmm. - Hmm. 313 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,526 - Oh, sorry. - No. Oh, no. Go. 314 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,653 - No, have it, really. - Split it? 315 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,822 - Okay. - Okay. 316 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:47,079 You probably didn't know this, but back in high school I had... 317 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,081 A major crush on you. 318 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:51,709 I knew. 319 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,336 You did? Oh. 320 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:58,132 I figured you thought I was Monica's geeky older brother. 321 00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,885 -I did. 322 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,349 Listen, do you think... 323 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:11,020 And try not to let my vulnerability become any kind of a factor here. 324 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,984 Do you think it would be okay if I ask you out sometime, maybe? 325 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:21,822 Maybe. 326 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,658 Okay. 327 00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,874 Okay, maybe I will. 328 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,963 - Good night. - Good night. 329 00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:53,229 See you. 330 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:54,772 Ross: Mm-hm. 331 00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:57,358 Wait, wait. Hey, what's with you? 332 00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,321 I just grabbed a spoon. 333 00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:11,956 Can't believe what I'm hearing. 334 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,017 I can't believe what I'm hearing here 335 00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:16,252 - what? I said you had... - What? I said you had... 336 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,755 - Would you stop? - Oh, was I doing it again? 337 00:22:19,964 --> 00:22:21,799 All: 338 00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,844 Woman: Would anybody like more coffee? 339 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,181 Did you make it or are you just serving it? 340 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:32,643 - I'm just serving it. - Chandler: I'll have a cup of coffee. 341 00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:34,353 Kids, new dream. 342 00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:38,440 I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza minnelli. 25237

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