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1
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:37,428
[sniffing]
2
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,474
Why are you
smelling my drink?
3
00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:41,606
Got to tell you,
love being pregnant,
4
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,521
getting real sick of water.
5
00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:46,437
Know what I read today?
6
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:49,136
Raising a kid in New York costs
twice the national average.
7
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,789
CHIP:
Wow.
8
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,487
Well, hey, on
the bright side,
9
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:55,142
at least it always smells
like pee here. [laughs]
10
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:57,361
New York's expensive.
11
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,842
My haircut today cost $40
for this!
12
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:05,413
I think they...
they took too much off the top.
13
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,418
I hear you, guys.
14
00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:13,247
It is so hard
to stay afloat in this town.
15
00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:14,987
That'll be $90 for the drinks.
16
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:21,646
Apparently, raising a kid in
New York costs $30,000 a year.
17
00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:25,259
So, from birth to adulthood,
that is half a million dollars.
18
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:27,174
Then college
on top of that.
19
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:30,046
Huh.
20
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,353
Wow, so having a kid
is kind of like
21
00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:34,355
a life sentence
type of deal, huh?
22
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,487
[both laughing]
23
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:40,100
[sighs]
24
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,971
That was cute; you both looked
incredibly terrified
25
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:43,364
at the same time.
26
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,281
Well, hey, look, maybe it'll get
a scholarship, you know?
27
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:48,760
Leslie's smart.
28
00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:51,285
What about me?
29
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:52,938
You married someone smart.
30
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:56,464
Oh, we find out on Friday
if we're having a boy or a girl.
31
00:01:56,507 --> 00:01:57,682
Oh.
32
00:01:57,726 --> 00:01:59,119
Oh, honey, I got to
tell you, you know,
33
00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:00,511
from the first time you
told me you were pregnant,
34
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:02,992
I always really felt
like it was a boy.
35
00:02:03,035 --> 00:02:04,428
Yeah, you also really felt
36
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:07,388
that Justin Timberlake was
the weakest member of NSYNC.
37
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:08,737
Well...
38
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,956
when he was with
Britney, he was.
39
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:16,353
I am telling you, honey,
it is a girl.
40
00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,747
She's putting in nine months,
you put in two minutes.
41
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,010
If she says it's a girl,
it's a girl.
42
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,232
♪
43
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:28,844
Morning, Cheryl.
44
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:30,454
Have you seen
Ms. Meadows?
45
00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:33,718
She got here at 8:52, had a cup
of coffee and did time sheets,
46
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:36,156
had a second cup of coffee,
went to the bathroom.
47
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,245
Second cup of coffee
probably played a hand in that.
48
00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:41,596
Where is she now?
49
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:44,555
I don't know, Chip.
I'm not her keeper.
50
00:02:44,599 --> 00:02:46,470
She's been in her
office all morning
51
00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,037
talking to Mitch
from corporate.
52
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,691
Probably more cost-cutting.
53
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:52,128
I hope it's not cost cutting,
'cause I'm about to ask Meadows
54
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,217
for that raise she promised
when I started my Bible column.
55
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:58,221
[snaps fingers]Hey, Curry, right?
56
00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:01,311
Yeah.
Great work on
your Bible column.
57
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:03,139
It's the only thing
doing well for us.
58
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,228
[laughs] Thank you very much.Thank you.
59
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,623
Oh, uh, you guys
are great, too.
60
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:11,930
All the crap you write
is... really solid.
61
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,325
Carol.
62
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:17,936
Vonce.
63
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,111
[chuckles]
64
00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:21,331
Vonce? That's not my name.
65
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,246
That's not even aname.
66
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,248
[chuckles]
67
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,337
Ms. Meadows.
68
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,904
[sighs]
69
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:32,386
I wanted to talk to you
about that raise you promised.
70
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:34,257
I'd love to help
you, but I can't.
71
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,390
Ms. Meadows,
you gave me your word.
72
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:39,523
Chip, I can't help you
because I just got fired.
73
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:44,311
What?
74
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:46,269
Are you serious?
75
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,360
They need to cut costs.
76
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:53,233
My 25 years with the company
makes me a lot pricier
77
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:54,843
than all of you.
78
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,279
[chuckles]
79
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,194
They'll just get some kid
out of Syracuse
80
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,109
to do my job for half the money.
81
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,243
[yells]:
No!
82
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:08,204
Cheryl!
83
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,641
Dramatically swipe everything
off your own desk!
84
00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:13,383
Anyway,
85
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:16,212
Mitch will be interviewing
for my replacement all week,
86
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,867
so, uh... yeah.[snaps fingers]
87
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,999
I can't
believe this.
88
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:23,741
You're a legend.
You're like my mom.
89
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,917
My mean, white mom.
90
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:28,311
Let's not get mushy.
91
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,270
[scoffs]
92
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,402
Man, I could really use a drink.
93
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:40,192
Really?
And I'm the one being fired?
94
00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:47,461
$500 sunglasses, and I'm leaving
'em every place I go.
95
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,854
I should buy an expensive pair
so I actually care about 'em.
96
00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:52,379
[laughs]
Yeah, being rich is tough.
97
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,337
Hey, Mitch,
98
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,296
just real quick
before you go.
99
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,341
[sighs]
100
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,778
Listen, I really think you're
making a huge mistake here.
101
00:05:00,822 --> 00:05:04,521
You know, me living my life by
the Bible was my decision, yes,
102
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:06,697
but I never would've thought
to turn it into a column
103
00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:08,308
if it wasn't for Ms. Meadows.
104
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:09,526
She's got great instincts.
105
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,441
Oh, yeah? Cool.
106
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,965
She can use those instincts
to find another job.
107
00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:15,445
[laughs]
108
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:18,056
With time, you're
gonna find this funny.
109
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,364
She really cares,
though, Mitch.
110
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,235
She pushes us.
111
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:24,802
Sometimes literally.
112
00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,456
She's the heart of this place.
113
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,589
Sorry, Vonce.
114
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:30,852
I was just straight-up
not listening to you.
115
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,375
[laughs]
116
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,246
Ah, don't worry, fam.
117
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:37,467
We're gonna get somebody
real nice up in here.
118
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:38,860
I don't want somebody real nice.
119
00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:41,341
I want Ms. Meadows!
120
00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:54,528
25 years,
and they just dump Ms. Meadows?
121
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,268
What is happening to America?
122
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:58,009
You know, there's-there's
no more middle class anymore.
123
00:05:58,053 --> 00:05:59,402
That is just gone.
124
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:00,969
The rich get richer,
125
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:03,406
and I don't know how
I'm gonna afford my damn kid.
126
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,668
Oh, don't worry, though.
127
00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:06,975
Old Man Government's got
a nice tax cut for you.
128
00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,890
Yeah. Too bad
it's a complete lie.
129
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:11,762
Oh, and don't get me started
on net neutrality.
130
00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:13,547
I mean, I don't know
what it means,
131
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,853
but I am fired up!
132
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:19,074
Chip, pick a rant, buddy.
133
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:21,468
You have every
right to be angry.
134
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:24,296
It's a dark time.
Lots of people are angry.
135
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:27,038
Can't believe they fired
Ms. Meadows, you know?
136
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,476
She-she isher job.
137
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:32,479
I can't bear the thought
of her sitting in some park,
138
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:35,786
like, ordering ducks
to get to work on time.
139
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:38,006
So, in your mind,
140
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:40,661
she goes insane,
like, day one?
141
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,708
I just feel powerless,
you know?
142
00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:47,058
What can
the little guy do?
143
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,844
Well, there are many Bible
verses that might apply here,
144
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:52,455
but I keep going back to
the story of David and Goliath.
145
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,065
Ooh, good one, Gene!
146
00:06:54,109 --> 00:06:55,850
Why, that's the perfect example,
Chip.
147
00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:57,373
You're David.
148
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:01,812
You're weak, you're small,
you're, uh... unimpressive.
149
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,031
I got it.
150
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:06,034
You're petulant, um,
somewhat primitive.
151
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:07,427
You smell.
152
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,950
I got it!
153
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:12,040
And this corporate stooge
is Goliath.
154
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:14,434
Now, the odds are
very much against you,
155
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:16,914
but the little guy
can make a difference.
156
00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:19,743
How?
The Goliaths have all the power.
157
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,919
Have you even
read the story?
158
00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:22,920
Murder his ass.
159
00:07:24,008 --> 00:07:25,793
No.
160
00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:27,490
No, no.
161
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:30,232
David beat Goliath 'cause he was
great with a slingshot, right?
162
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:34,149
Well, everyone has their
slingshot, their special skill.
163
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:37,065
Martin Luther King's
slingshot was his speeches.
164
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:40,068
Taylor Swift's slingshot
is her songs.
165
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:42,940
♪ Hey there, Mister Cute Boy
166
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:46,248
♪ Ya got to stop being
so, uh, mean to me. ♪
167
00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:47,771
Or whatever. I... You know.
168
00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:49,556
I'm not familiar with her music,
169
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,601
so I should have picked
someone else.
170
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,084
Well, hey, look,
that's cool for them,
171
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:58,347
but I-I don't know
what my slingshot is.
172
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,523
It's your writing,
Jughead! Damn!
173
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,177
He never gets it!
174
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:07,704
Now, guys, this is just a rough
draft, okay, so go easy on me,
175
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,489
but I really think
that it articulates
176
00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:11,186
how I feel about
Meadows being fired.
177
00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:12,927
I am loving it, babe.
178
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,799
"What's happening at this paper
is happening in every industry.
179
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,540
"The modern Goliaths
squeeze out the Davids
180
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,063
in pursuit of
the almighty..."
181
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,543
Whoa. Strong language.
182
00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:24,373
Oh, no. It's supposed
to say "buck."
183
00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:26,549
The almighty buck.
184
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:29,030
"We are all Davids.
We all feel small.
185
00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:30,988
"But our power comes
when we unite
186
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,903
and stand up
against the Goliaths."
187
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:34,992
Damn straight.
It's awesome, Chip.
188
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,733
[sighs]
189
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:40,041
My cousin Goliath is not
gonna like this article.
190
00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:44,524
There's no chance
corporate's gonna publish this.
191
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:47,352
It makes them sound like
monsters, especially the line,
192
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:50,094
"These monsters
are monstrous monsters."
193
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,227
Look, this is exactly why
194
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,098
I asked you guys
to come over here,
195
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,231
because I need you
to help me sneak this article
196
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:57,537
into tomorrow's paper.
197
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,408
Huh? Now, it might not
fix anything,
198
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,323
but at least
we'll have taken a stand.
199
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,194
Ah, you're saying
you want us Davids to unite?
200
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:04,544
Yeah.
201
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:06,981
Whoa! You guys,
that is so weird!
202
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:10,027
This is just like what it
says in Chip's article.
203
00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:16,468
Yes. It's perfect.
204
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:19,471
We're gonna use their own
newspaper to take 'em down.
205
00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:21,604
Honey, I know that your heart
is in the right place,
206
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,084
but you could lose your job.
207
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:25,042
Me and this
half-a-million-dollar baby
208
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,653
need you to have a job.
209
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:27,784
Look, honey,
without Meadows,
210
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,699
there won't even be
a paper in a year,
211
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:31,353
and then none of us
will have jobs.
212
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,007
And the article is anonymous,
by the way.
213
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,356
Nobody's gonna know
that I wrote it.
214
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:37,402
It says,
"Written by Chip Curry."
215
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,404
Again, it's a rough draft.
216
00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:42,059
Now, look, I'm gonna upload
the article onto a flash drive,
217
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:44,540
but then we'll need to
transfer it to Meadows' computer
218
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:45,715
after Mitch signs off
219
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,282
on tomorrow's edition
and heads home.
220
00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:49,197
But before midnight, which is
when the printing begins.
221
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,242
That's when we can
hack into the mainframe.
222
00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:53,070
When you say
"hack into the mainframe,"
223
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,551
you just mean
get on Meadows' computer, right?
224
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,557
So, where are you gonna
put it in the paper?
225
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,777
Oh, I'm thinking big, you know.
Front page.
226
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,256
Are you okay with this?
227
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,302
I trust you,
and honestly,
228
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:09,826
this whole criminal hero thing
is... is kind of sexy.
229
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:11,611
Hmm.
Thank you, Leslie,
230
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:15,179
but can anyone just
see me as a person?
231
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:17,007
All right,
come on, Davids.
232
00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:19,227
Let's bring it in.
233
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:20,663
Come on.
234
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,447
Let's slay
this Goliath.
235
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:23,710
All right? Ready?
236
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,276
One, two...
237
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,235
[whoops]
238
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:32,283
Why would we go on two?
239
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,994
[quietly]:
Come on, come on.
240
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,650
Got to be quick, okay?
241
00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:52,086
Luckily, the security
guard's distracted,
242
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:53,696
thanks to Cheryl's
brilliant idea
243
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,437
to pull that
fire alarm on 18.
244
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,527
Oh, I didn't pull the alarm.
I actually set a fire.
245
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,748
What? Why would you do that?
246
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,359
Don't worry.
It's contained, Mom.
247
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:08,058
Okay, Team David.
Masks on.
248
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,670
There could be
cameras up there.
Right.
249
00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:21,376
There's no eye
holes, Cheryl.
250
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,467
These are just hats.
251
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,166
Ugh. I'm going
upstairs.
252
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:31,212
You can't just
go upstairs, hotshot.
253
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:32,692
What if you activate the lasers?
254
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,259
Cheryl, this place
doesn't even have paper towels.
255
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:37,087
I highly doubt there's lasers.
256
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:39,133
Ah, how are you gonna get
into her office?
257
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:40,917
Open the door?
258
00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:43,311
Oh, then I suppose
you're just gonna walk in?
259
00:11:43,354 --> 00:11:44,878
BOTH:
Yes.
260
00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:56,454
I know we'll get
into huge trouble
261
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:59,501
if we get caught in here, but
somehow this is the least scared
262
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:02,112
I've ever been walking
into Meadows' office.
263
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,811
All right, come on.
Where the hell is Cheryl?
264
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,508
She's supposed to
guess the password.
265
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:12,296
[coughing]
266
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:18,041
Okay. Let's start with
the most obvious guess.
267
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:20,217
C-H-E-R-Y-L.
268
00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:21,218
[computer buzzes]
269
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:22,785
Huh, nothing.
270
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:25,309
Kinda reeling here.
271
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:28,182
Cheryl-one.[computer buzzes]
272
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,184
Nope.
273
00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:31,228
Cheryl-two.[computer buzzes]
274
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:33,317
It's not Cheryl!
275
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,276
Security's coming!
276
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,364
Shoot.
277
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:38,540
Should I start
another fire?
278
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:43,066
How would that help?
279
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:49,943
Wait a minute.
280
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,640
What's on this Post-it?
281
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:53,729
Looks like a
password to me.
282
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,904
[computer chimes]
283
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,471
Yes!
It worked.
284
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:57,864
We're in. Okay.
285
00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:59,648
Let's celebrate
quickly and quietly.
286
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:09,005
I can't believe we got it
on the front page.
287
00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:10,224
Anybody see Mitch?
288
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:12,487
No, no. Oh, man.
289
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:15,316
I would've loved to have seen
his face when he read it, huh?
290
00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:18,362
[chuckles] He's gonna probably
be pretty mad, right?
291
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,451
You don't think we made
a huge mistake, do you?
292
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,323
I mean, should I go
buy up all the copies?
293
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:23,411
I'm gonna go buy up
all the copies.
294
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:26,196
Who did it?
295
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,633
The fire on the
18th floor? What fire?
296
00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:31,549
Who wrote the article?
297
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:33,508
It's trending
all over social media.
298
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,423
Somebody tweeted out
my cell phone number.
299
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:38,556
People are protesting outside
our corporate headquarters.
300
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,949
[chuckles]:
They are?
301
00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:42,517
That is terrible.
302
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,301
And none of you know
who wrote it.
303
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,609
Wait a minute.
304
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:50,351
You're Mr. Bible,
so you can't lie.
305
00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:52,440
God doesn't like
a liar, does he?
306
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:58,228
No, sir, he doesn't.
307
00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:01,841
Then tell me, honestly,
who wrote the article?
308
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:06,062
Me.
You're fired.
309
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:07,411
You can't fire him.
310
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:08,978
Yeah, he can.Oh, right.
311
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,634
You're really gonna fire me?
312
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:15,332
I mean, do you even care
that I have a baby on the way?
313
00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:16,681
[inhales sharply]
314
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,683
No.
[clears throat]
315
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,250
I'm just gonna call my boss
316
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:23,471
and tell him
Anonymous is a-gone-ymous.
317
00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:27,910
Hi, Dad.
318
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:30,608
I got him. It's Curry.
319
00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:32,567
Yeah, the Bible guy.
320
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:36,353
Looks like
Mr. Anonymous is a...
321
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,094
What's that?
322
00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:43,665
Oh, come on!
323
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,321
But I just took care of it.
324
00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:49,976
You know how that's gonna
make me look? Fine.
325
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:52,456
Fine-uh!
326
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,372
Love you.
327
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,679
Please say it back.
328
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:02,162
[inhales deeply]
329
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,598
Well, I've made a decision.
330
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,600
[clears throat]
331
00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:09,430
Us higher-ups don't want to deal
with any more bad press, so...
332
00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:10,735
you can keep your job.
333
00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:13,564
Hmm.
334
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,218
Oh, wait.
335
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:17,003
You fired me.
336
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,222
Uh, yeah, I did.
337
00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:20,484
Right.
338
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:24,097
Which means that
my contract is null and void.
339
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,926
I'm a free agent with
a hot column under my belt.
340
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:29,798
I mean, maybe I don't
want to keep my job here.
341
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,756
Ah, funny you should
bring that up. [laughs]
342
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,368
'Cause I, me, Mitch,
343
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:38,241
also decided that Dad will give
you a small raise if you stay.
344
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:39,590
Oh.
345
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:42,115
Hmm. That's tempting.
346
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,552
But I am a package deal
with Ms. Meadows.
347
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,032
Ah, she's back, too!
348
00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:47,076
[laughs]
349
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,469
Isn't that great?
350
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,952
Ah, I can't wait till
they shut this dump down.
351
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,475
Ugh.
352
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:55,519
Bye-bye, Goliath.
353
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:57,521
[laughs]
354
00:15:57,565 --> 00:15:58,740
We did it, Davids!
355
00:15:58,783 --> 00:15:59,741
Yeah.
356
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:01,438
Yes!
357
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,751
Ms. Meadows! Speech!
358
00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:11,318
Yes. Yes!
Speech!
359
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:12,710
Speech! Speech!
360
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,234
Yes, come on.
361
00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:15,626
All right!
362
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:23,156
I know this is a big night
because Cheryl's wearing makeup.
363
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:31,468
And you guys having my back
after what a tough ol' beeyotch
364
00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:34,341
I've been to all of you, it...
365
00:16:34,384 --> 00:16:36,560
it's really something.
366
00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:38,823
It means a lot.
367
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,130
[voice breaks]:
It means everything.
368
00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:44,133
That's it. Thank you.
[clears throat]
369
00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:46,179
GENE: Yay![whooping]
370
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:50,705
Does this mean you're
gonna stop being
371
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,272
a tough ol'
beeyotch to us?
372
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:55,057
What'd you just call me,
butthead?
373
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,058
[laughs]
374
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:57,842
My mean white mom is back!
375
00:16:57,886 --> 00:16:59,409
[laughs]
376
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:02,456
Geez, Cheryl, I didn't die.
377
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:06,242
This is why I don't wear makeup.
378
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,767
Oh, thanks.
379
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:11,552
As someone who can
see your face,
380
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,162
you're gonna need
the whole box.
381
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:21,431
Hey. I knew right away it was
you who wrote that article.
382
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:23,694
Oh, yeah?
How'd you know that?
383
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:26,784
David and Goliath?
[scoffs]
384
00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:29,787
You're the only one who writes
about the Bible, dumbass.
385
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:36,272
Also, the writing
was really lovely.
386
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:39,145
I mean, these guys are good,
but they're not that good.
387
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,147
[chuckles]
388
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:43,062
I can hear you.
389
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,239
How was your baby appointment?
390
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:47,588
You guys find out
what you're having?
391
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,503
Oh, well, I got
there too late
392
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:52,114
'cause I was using my,
uh, slingshot. [chuckles]
393
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:54,638
And by slingshot, of
course, I mean the...
394
00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:56,901
Boy or girl?
395
00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:58,642
I didn't want to look
without Chip,
396
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,036
so they put the ultrasound
in this envelope.
397
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,560
And now that we're here,
398
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:06,694
and surrounded by friends,
let's find out.
399
00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,435
Really?
[chuckles]
400
00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:10,393
H-Holy cow.
401
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:12,395
Okay.
402
00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:14,702
[sighs]
I love you.
403
00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:16,747
I love you so much.
404
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:20,534
[exhales sharply]
405
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:22,144
Okay. Uh, excuse me, friends.
406
00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:24,625
Can I have your attention
for just a second, please?
407
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,583
Leslie and I
are about to find out
408
00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:28,150
whether we are having a boy,
409
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,021
which we most definitely are,
or...
410
00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:33,024
Or a girl,
which we most definitely are.
411
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:39,292
Uh, Gene, you know what?
412
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:42,556
Your guidance has been getting
me ready to be a dad, you know?
413
00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:45,689
So, uh, would you?
414
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,651
Really?
Yeah.
415
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:51,913
I'd be honored.
416
00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:54,524
[clears throat]
417
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:57,353
Guess I'll just stand here
and do nothing, then.
418
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,706
Oh... my gosh.
419
00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:06,362
You're gonna be
really happy here, Chip.
420
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:07,972
It's a boy!
421
00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:09,844
[laughs loudly]
422
00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:12,629
Yeah! We're having a son!
423
00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:13,761
[laughs]
424
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,461
Wait. Uh...
425
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,681
Oh, Gil, come on.
I know you're mad
426
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:22,770
I let Gene read the
thing, but come on.No!
427
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:27,688
It's a boy...
428
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:29,211
and, uh...
429
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,647
it's a girl.
430
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:33,781
You're having twins.
431
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,826
[crowd gasping, cheering]
432
00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:45,923
[crowd whooping]
433
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,925
[laughs]:
Oh!
434
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:49,971
We're gonna be
broke forever!
435
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:03,419
Thanks to your Bible journey,
you are ready to be a dad.
436
00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:05,682
Uh, no, I am not.
[laughs]
437
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,858
I-I was only preparing
for one baby.
438
00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:09,556
We're gonna have
two babies.
439
00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:11,166
That means I got
to double down
440
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,212
on the Bible thing,
baby, for the babies!
441
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,257
[laughing]: No. No.[laughing]
442
00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:16,737
No, no, no.
443
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:18,782
Yes, yes, yes!
444
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:23,700
You guys ready for
twice as much me, huh?
445
00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:26,399
Twice the questions.
446
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:29,402
Twice the confessions.
447
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:32,492
Twice the pop-ins. Huh?
448
00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:34,450
This is gonna be great!
449
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,283
Oh.
450
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,024
That's cute.
451
00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:45,374
You both look equally terrified
at the same time.
452
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:47,376
Captioning sponsored by
CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
453
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:49,422
Captioned by
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access.wgbh.org
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