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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,528 [sighs] Anyone up for another beer? 2 00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:09,052 Or should we switch it up to holy spirits? 3 00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:10,271 [chuckles] 4 00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:12,229 No, it's tempting, but, man, I tell you, 5 00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,926 I cannot drink like I used to. 6 00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:16,538 I'm still hungover from a barbecue in August. 7 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,149 2009. 8 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:23,066 Yeah, plus, I got some work to do tonight. 9 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:27,070 I love how you refer to watching a movie as work. 10 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,072 I restarted a man's heart today. 11 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,160 [chuckles] 12 00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:33,033 Man, movies are so bad these days. 13 00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:34,077 What are you reviewing, 14 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:36,079 12 Fast 12 Furious? [chuckles] 15 00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,951 Batman vs. Lego Batman? [chuckles] 16 00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:40,301 The Avengers vs. Madea? 17 00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:41,954 [laughs] 18 00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:43,347 Oh, I wish. 19 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:45,349 No, it's a, it's a romantic comedy 20 00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:48,091 that's about people that meet through a dating app, 21 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,266 and it's called... 22 00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:51,094 Tinder-her. 23 00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:52,443 Wow. 24 00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:53,879 They're trying way too hard 25 00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,664 to target that millennial generation. 26 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,319 27 00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:01,148 Hey, I'm a sucker for any rom-com, even the bad ones. 28 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:04,629 They just make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.Mm. 29 00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:05,978 That's what a glass of wine 30 00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:08,807 and my Idris Elba calendar does for me. 31 00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:16,032 You know what doesn't feel like a warm and fuzzy rom-com? 32 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,122 Wha...? 33 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,081 Are we supposed to guess or...? 34 00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:22,865 My marriage. 35 00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:24,475 Oh, no. What's going on?Oh, no. What's up, man? 36 00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:28,000 Ah, rumors are swirling around the temple that my wife, Sheila, 37 00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:30,568 was seen receiving and enjoying a back rub at the hands 38 00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:33,180 of the new, young, handsome rabbi, Trent. 39 00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:36,966 I'm a cuck, Chip. 40 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:40,926 Really? A back rub to cuck? 41 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,667 I mean, I... 42 00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:46,584 I think there's just a-a few more stops on the Cuck Express. 43 00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:49,326 I mean, it-it's just a rumor, right, Gil? 44 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:52,155 I don't know. I heard this from some veryreliable gossips. 45 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:56,028 The worst part is they say it happened on Shabbat. 46 00:01:57,856 --> 00:01:59,815 They're calling it "The Rubdown at Sundown." 47 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,688 Doesn't even rhyme.It kind of rhymes. 48 00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,168 It does. 49 00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,561 But even if the rumors 50 00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:08,563 are true-- and-and we're all praying they're not-- 51 00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,304 it's probably nothing. 52 00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:12,001 Yeah. I mean, it's just a back rub. 53 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:14,134 Okay. But, 54 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:16,701 I mean, if you heard a rumor that a woman at work 55 00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:19,182 was giving me a massage, how would you feel? 56 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:20,401 Good point. 57 00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,403 I'd drop-kick her into traffic. Yes. 58 00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,100 All I know is, 59 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,102 if I were to give any of you a back rub, 60 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,409 we'd be doing other things real quick. 61 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:30,933 Like what? 62 00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,413 You really want to know, priest? 63 00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,332 I didn't think so. 64 00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:42,945 LESLIE: Gil, 65 00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,120 you need to confront Sheila. 66 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,730 But you want her to feel safe, 67 00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:47,732 so lead with your heart, not accusations. 68 00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:50,735 And, remember, your wife is innocent until proven guilty 69 00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,084 in the court of love. 70 00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:54,478 Hmm. Thanks for being here for me, guys. 71 00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:57,177 CHIP: Yeah.I'm-I'm gonna go home and talk to Sheila. 72 00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,266 Drinking's not gonna help me. [chuckles] 73 00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,397 There you go, buddy.You go, Rabbi. 74 00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,834 Good luck, man.All right. 75 00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:04,227 Five or six drinks couldn't hurt. 76 00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:05,228 No, go! Go! Go! 77 00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:07,230 No, seriously, go. 78 00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:09,232 ♪ 79 00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:14,237 So, Vince, if you're giving somebody a back rub, 80 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,805 does it mean that you want to have sex with them? 81 00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:19,242 No. It means I amhaving sex with them. 82 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:21,462 Why else would I do it? 83 00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:22,680 [laughs] 84 00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:24,029 DOUG: Hey, guys. 85 00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:25,379 How's my Doug-tourage doing? 86 00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:26,815 What are you all working on? 87 00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,643 Working on getting the hell out of your 'tourage. 88 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:32,429 I have to write a review of this 89 00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:35,345 terrible romantic comedy with, uh, Ellen Page 90 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:37,260 and Harry Styles.Ooh. 91 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,828 Love me some H-Styles. [chuckles] 92 00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:43,397 Yeah, I've been to lots of One Direction concerts. 93 00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:46,835 What? It's a great place to meet girls. 94 00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,271 [scoffs] 95 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:51,274 I mean moms! [scoffs] 96 00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,363 Young moms. 97 00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,455 Speaking of One Direction, why don't you mosey off that way? 98 00:03:58,499 --> 00:03:59,978 [chuckles] 99 00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,590 Chip, where's your movie review? 100 00:04:02,633 --> 00:04:03,808 [sighs] I don't know. 101 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,288 I'm struggling with it, you know? 102 00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,247 I haven't had to review a stinker 103 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,596 since I started living by the Bible, 104 00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:10,337 and it just doesn't feel very Christlike 105 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:13,209 to be so negative about somebody's labor of love. 106 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,819 You know? It's like... 107 00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:17,169 calling somebody's baby ugly. 108 00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:20,042 Some babies are ugly, Chip. 109 00:04:20,085 --> 00:04:21,565 If you can't figure out 110 00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:24,307 how to write your Bible column and your movie column, 111 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,962 I'm gonna have to give your movie reviews to Doug. 112 00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:29,704 Don't worry, Chip, she'll be in good hands. 113 00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,749 Soft, supple, 114 00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:35,710 small for a man, but made for a woman. 115 00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:38,887 Why do I feel like I'm gonna be called 116 00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,280 to testify against him one day? 117 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:52,335 [chuckles]: Hey, boys! 118 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,729 Next round's on me. [chuckles] 119 00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,034 CHIP: Oh! 120 00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:58,428 Look at this guy. You're in a good mood. 121 00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:01,213 So, huh, I guess it went okay with Sheila? 122 00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:03,303 Well, you know, it's a funny story. 123 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:06,871 I took Leslie's advice. 124 00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:09,439 I headed straight home to talk to the missus, 125 00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,876 and she wasn't even there. 126 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,922 [laughing] 127 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,016 I mean, it's not Tommy Boy funny, but, you know... 128 00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:22,539 Maybe you had to be there? 129 00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:26,369 She was sitting in a car 130 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,980 across the street with... 131 00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:31,287 ...Rabbi Trent. 132 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,376 [laughing] 133 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,773 Anyone want to guess what they were doing? 134 00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,688 Not really. 135 00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:43,430 [laughing]: They were kissing. 136 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:44,518 [laughing] 137 00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,350 Pretty passionately. 138 00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,264 Ugh. Oh, no. 139 00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:53,440 Come here, buddy. 140 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,050 I'm so sorry, Gil. 141 00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:57,313 Oh, for what? I'm just thirsty. Come on. 142 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,359 Mmm. 143 00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,318 Gil. 144 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,538 All right, the jig is up. 145 00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:07,715 I know I made it seem like everything was... 146 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,586 totally cool and normal. 147 00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:13,024 That's actually not the vibe I was picking up at all. 148 00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,504 Well, the truth is, it's, uh... 149 00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:15,853 [clears throat] it's bad. 150 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,420 It's real bad. 151 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:20,423 Uh, I pounded my fist on the car's windshield 152 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:21,511 and broke it. 153 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:24,166 And then I realized it was my car. 154 00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:27,343 And tonight I'll be sleeping on a pile of glass 155 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,171 in a windshield-less car. 156 00:06:29,214 --> 00:06:31,826 And did I mention the forecast calls for rain? 157 00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:35,046 You know, Gil, 158 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,222 I have some business associates. 159 00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:39,747 Say the word, and that Rabbi Trent'll have... 160 00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,270 [whispers]: a little accident. 161 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,709 LESLIE: I feel so bad for Gil. 162 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:48,582 Is there anything we can do?Yes. 163 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:51,062 The Bible commands us to 164 00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:55,632 "show hospitality to one another without grumbling." 165 00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:59,506 So, I think we should ask him to stay here. 166 00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,899 Chip, no, that is not a good idea. 167 00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:05,512 I'm hearing grumbling. 168 00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:08,253 I think you're reading too much into this rule. 169 00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:11,387 Can I take this for a while? 170 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,434 Come on. You know, Jesus would've let Gil stay with him. 171 00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:16,044 Yeah, 'cause there was no Mrs. Jesus 172 00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,611 to tell him it was a bad idea. 173 00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:22,354 Look, you know I love Gil, but I have a crazy week at work. 174 00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:23,834 I ca...[doorbell rings] 175 00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:26,968 Who's that? 176 00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:35,759 That's gonna be Gil. 177 00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,413 I'm sorry. 178 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,545 I-I just saw this conversation 179 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,416 going a completely different way. 180 00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:43,419 Hey! Come on in.Hey! 181 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,942 Hey, thanks for letting me crash here, guys. 182 00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,466 Now, listen, 183 00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:50,774 is there an extension cord for my sleep apnea machine? 184 00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,743 Chip, I need to talk to you. 185 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,309 Are you sure Gil's still asleep? 186 00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,225 I'm not sure he's still alive. 187 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:10,098 [filtered breathing] 188 00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:13,275 I am on night three of no sleep. 189 00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:15,233 Who makes popcorn at 4:00 a.m.? 190 00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:17,148 Ugh. I don't know, but didn't really love 191 00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,499 the way he stood over our bed to offer us some, 192 00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:22,240 Paranormal Activitystyle. 193 00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:23,807 Plus, he's got those night terrors. Mm. 194 00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,417 [shouting] 195 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:29,465 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! 196 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,298 And morning terrors. 197 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:37,908 It's too much. [sighs] 198 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,562 Chip, this is my one day off of work. 199 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:42,086 I do SoulCycle, and then I unwind at home. 200 00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,653 I need that. 201 00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,699 I mean, I feel for the guy, but I can't have him around 202 00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:48,005 all day, crying through The View, The Chew,and The Talk. 203 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,181 I know. I get it.GIL: Ay, ay, ay, ay. 204 00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:53,445 Yi, yi, yi, yi. 205 00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:57,145 Yi, yi, yi! [grunts] 206 00:08:57,188 --> 00:09:00,104 Morning, Lord Vader. 207 00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,236 How you feeling, buddy? 208 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:02,890 [groans] Not great. 209 00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:05,501 I dreamt that this couch came to life 210 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,242 and then cheated on me. 211 00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:10,158 How'd you two sleep? Good? 212 00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:11,899 Well, the screaming kept us up, 213 00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,727 but the whimpering lulled us to sleep. 214 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,164 You didn't hear me playing Celine Dion 215 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,948 in the middle of the night, did you? 216 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,384 No, we heard it. 217 00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,299 You accidentally streamed it to the Bluetooth speakers 218 00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:23,388 in our bedroom. 219 00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,129 I'm sorry about that. I, uh... 220 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:28,393 I needed a reminder that my heart will, in fact, go on. 221 00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:31,396 So, uh, what are you thinking, man? 222 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,529 You maybe get back to the temple today?Yeah. 223 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,488 Oh, I... [chuckles] I-I can't face my congregation. 224 00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:39,404 I mean, you know, I counsel most of them on theirmarriages. 225 00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:42,843 Right now, the only advice I got for them is get out! 226 00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:49,197 Everybody, 227 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,329 this is my rabbi, Gil Ableman. 228 00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:53,201 I thought you were Catholic. 229 00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:54,419 I am. 230 00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:55,986 Catholics can have rabbis. 231 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,162 I don't think that's true. 232 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,078 Gil, just make yourself at home. 233 00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:02,297 Well, that'll be difficult 234 00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,952 without a man here having sex with my wife. 235 00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:07,737 [both laughing] 236 00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,260 [laughing] 237 00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:12,437 I don't know why we're laughing. 238 00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,225 Ah, speak of the devil. 239 00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:18,356 It's Sheila. 240 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,315 Morning, Satan. 241 00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:22,796 What's up, man? Hey. 242 00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:25,450 I didn't know it was "bring your rabbi to work day." 243 00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:27,452 I didn't know it was, uh... 244 00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:29,629 "wear your cool shirt and pants day." 245 00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:32,588 That's all I got. 246 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,242 I really like your outfit. 247 00:10:34,285 --> 00:10:36,766 Your friend still staying with you? 248 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:39,203 Oh, yes. He's still staying with us. 249 00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:40,901 Every time I walk in the front door, he says, 250 00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:42,293 "Wash your hands and say your prayers. 251 00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:44,121 God and germs are everywhere." 252 00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:47,385 I don't know how you do it, man. 253 00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:49,300 I hate people staying at my place. 254 00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,651 Leaving mysterious hairs on the soap.Ugh. 255 00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:54,392 Using my expensive-ass olive oil, 256 00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:56,525 claiming they thought it was cheap-ass olive oil. 257 00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,570 They knew. 258 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,705 So, how long you gonna keep up this hospitable thing? 259 00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,489 Uh, well... 260 00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,404 the Bible's a little vague on checkout dates, 261 00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,493 but, um, I think he's getting better. 262 00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:11,496 Could you please stop interrupting me, Sheila?! 263 00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,326 Chip. 264 00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:16,806 [snaps fingers]Is this yours? 265 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,068 Yes, ma'am. 266 00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,243 He's my rabbi. 267 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,115 Well, unless he's performing your bris, 268 00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:22,203 he's got to go. 269 00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:24,814 Hey, schmeckle.Scram! 270 00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,687 You, take a seat. 271 00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:33,475 I just read your Tinder-ellareview, 272 00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:35,346 and I am confused. 273 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,828 Oh, well, it's a play on the title Cinderella. 274 00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:40,743 I'm about to take off my glass slipper 275 00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:43,137 and shove it somewhere it definitely won't fit. 276 00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:48,403 You are supposed to be a critic, Chip. 277 00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:52,276 In this review, there's absolutely no criticism. 278 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,409 You know, you are getting too comfortable here. 279 00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,541 In fact, you look way too comfortable 280 00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:57,804 sitting in that chair. Stand up. 281 00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:59,457 I'm sitting. 282 00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:03,897 What I was trying to say i... Okay. 283 00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:06,029 Well, now I feel like you're in the power position. 284 00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:09,163 Nobody sits! 285 00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:13,733 Just write a real review. 286 00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,038 And the rabbi? 287 00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:17,040 He's got to go ra-bye-bye. 288 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,741 [groans] 289 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,527 Hey, Leslie. 290 00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:26,833 What you doing? 291 00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:29,183 GIL: I'll tell you, Leslie. 292 00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:31,533 I can fix everyone's marriage but my own. 293 00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:34,797 What do, what do you and Chip do when, you know, 294 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,668 you haven't spoken to each other for six months 295 00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:40,542 and it leads to infidelity? 296 00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:41,848 Honestly, Gil, 297 00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,719 I can't even imagine us ever in that situation. 298 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,330 Our problems are more like, "Why'd you eat my pickles?" 299 00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:49,507 Or, "Why are you living 100% by the Bible?" 300 00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,553 I'm jealous. 301 00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,381 You guys have it all figured out, huh? 302 00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:55,383 You know, Gil, it seems like you're holding a lot inside. 303 00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:56,950 This class might help. 304 00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,821 It's a great stress reliever.[upbeat music playing] 305 00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:02,259 All right, who's ready to get their soul cycled? 306 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:03,652 Me! 307 00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:07,656 I want everyone to really let go. 308 00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:09,527 Grunt. Shout. 309 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:12,443 Whatever works to get those stresses out. 310 00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,445 [all grunting and shouting] 311 00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:15,882 Woo-hoo! 312 00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:21,888 Life can be very challenging! 313 00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,977 That's what I'm talking about. 314 00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,848 Wow. 315 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,502 That felt pretty great. 316 00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:29,069 Good. Keep it up. 317 00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:31,506 I'm very, very angry! 318 00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,857 Good. Use that. 319 00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,685 My marriage is a sham! 320 00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:38,687 My-my wife never loved me! Never! 321 00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:42,996 She only makes her side of the bed. 322 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:45,607 And when I ask her if a shirt makes me look fat, 323 00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,261 she says yes without even looking! 324 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:51,308 And she puts cheese in everything even though 325 00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:54,659 she knows damn well I'm lactose intolerant! 326 00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:57,445 And guess what, Sheila? 327 00:13:57,488 --> 00:14:00,622 We both deserve orgasms! 328 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,154 [panting] 329 00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:13,635 Okay, now you guys go. 330 00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:19,946 Father. Son. 331 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,949 I have something to confess. 332 00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,994 I brought a plus-one. 333 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,997 Hey, Gene. 334 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,520 Never been in one of these. 335 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:31,609 Is it normal to have three people in a confessional booth? 336 00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:33,524 No. 337 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:36,136 It wasn't normal when Chip brought a pizza in here, either. 338 00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:38,138 I did not "bring a pizza in here." 339 00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:39,182 I had it delivered. 340 00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:41,271 And, if I remember correctly, 341 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:43,534 you had three slices, Father "I'm Not Hungry."[groans] 342 00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:49,714 You see, Father, Chip offering Gil ourhospitality 343 00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,629 has been causing some problems between us. 344 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:54,589 [sighs] Listen, I-I love that maniac to death. 345 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:56,808 He's a real mensch. 346 00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:59,072 But when he's having marital issues, 347 00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,900 he can be a pain in the tuches. 348 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:04,251 Did he hit you with that Celine? 349 00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,122 Ugh.It's all day now. 350 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:09,169 Near, far, wherever we are. 351 00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,388 This afternoon Chip dumped Gil on me, 352 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:13,129 and he got me kicked out of SoulCycle. 353 00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,218 [sighs] I'm trying to do the biblical thing 354 00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:17,351 by showing my friend hospitality, but... 355 00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:18,961 But I haven't had privacy for days 356 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,137 and, frankly, mama likes to air-dry. 357 00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:25,272 Is that a weird thing to tell a priest? 358 00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,883 That's a weird thing to tell anybody. 359 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,798 My point is I don't want to hurt Gil, 360 00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,321 but I-I need my home back. 361 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:34,150 And my point is I just can't kick out a friend in need. 362 00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:35,456 So what do we do? 363 00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:39,242 Hey, I only choose sides at KFC. [chuckles] 364 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:42,158 Being hospitable to a friend in need 365 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,160 is the right thing to do. 366 00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:46,206 [clicks tongue] Ah, so I was right. 367 00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,729 But there have to be limits. 368 00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,731 Yeah, so Iwas right. 369 00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,994 Well, you're both right. 370 00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,127 Oh, you coward.Boo. Ugh, boo. 371 00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,389 [scoffs] 372 00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:57,043 By tiptoeing around Gil, 373 00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,132 you're actually enabling his behavior. 374 00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,134 The fact is, if Gil doesn't move out, 375 00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:04,267 he's never gonna move on.LESLIE: Hmm. 376 00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:07,923 So it's not un-biblical to tell him to hit the road? 377 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,361 God's a fan of tough love, Chip. 378 00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:12,972 Ever hear of Job? 379 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,801 Oh, I've been reading it as "job." 380 00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,281 But I get what you're saying. 381 00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:26,028 Because my name is Tinder-ella, 382 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:27,856 and I've been swiping left on love 383 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:30,293 for far too long. 384 00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,208 Well, today... 385 00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:34,906 I am swiping right! 386 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:37,257 You go, T. 387 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,693 Oh, hey. 388 00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,260 [laughs] There they are.[TV turns off] 389 00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:43,654 FYI, your garbage disposal is broken. 390 00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,526 We don't have a garbage disposal. 391 00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:49,051 Oh. Then your sink is broken. 392 00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,577 Gil, listen... [sighs] 393 00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,492 It's been a pleasure having you here. Yeah. 394 00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:56,885 And... 395 00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:59,540 you know, this isn't easy to say, but... 396 00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,194 I think it's time that you... 397 00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:02,586 Replace the Mountain Dew I drank? 398 00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:03,718 Hmm? 399 00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:04,980 Check the fridge... 400 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,721 in an hour. I'm gonna go get some. 401 00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:08,723 No, no, no. 402 00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:11,204 I-I don't need you to do the Dew, Gil. 403 00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:12,640 I... 404 00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:13,902 What I was gonna say 405 00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:15,208 was that-that Leslie and I talked, 406 00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:17,297 and we think it's time that you move out. 407 00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:19,386 And we'll totally help you find a new place. We just think... 408 00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,344 Ah, bup-bup-bup-bup. 409 00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,433 You had me at, "Get the hell out of our apartment." 410 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:25,218 [groans] 411 00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,524 As evidenced by the Gil-shaped crater in your couch, 412 00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:30,266 I have had a lot of time to think about it, 413 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:31,615 and, uh, no, you're right. 414 00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:34,444 I-I need to get back to my own life. [chuckles] 415 00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:35,532 And look, man, we're really sorry 416 00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,186 that we couldn't help more. 417 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:38,448 Oh, you helped tremendously. 418 00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,320 Are you kidding? I mean, L-Leslie, 419 00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,713 that, uh, SoulCycle class you took me to, 420 00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:43,888 that-that really opened me up. 421 00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:45,238 You know? I-I wound up 422 00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,631 calling Sheila, and, uh, we figured things out. 423 00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:49,459 Oh, really? You two are getting back together? 424 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,460 Oh, Lord, no. 425 00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,419 No, no. 426 00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:54,464 That ship sailed long ago... 427 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,075 and then capsized. 428 00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,079 And sunk to the bottom of the ocean. 429 00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:03,082 Where a shark ate it. 430 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,521 No, I, uh, told her we're separating. 431 00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:08,913 Oh.Oh, man. 432 00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:10,828 Well, look, if it makes you feel any better, 433 00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:12,178 she did not sound great. 434 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,614 Please, it's a blessing. 435 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:16,747 Look, staying here with you 436 00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:19,968 has reminded me of what a loving relationship 437 00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:22,144 is supposed to look like. Right? 438 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:23,972 You're a team. You support each other. 439 00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,713 You sleep in the same bedroom. 440 00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:29,717 Your love is so real and uncomplicated, 441 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,675 it would make the crappiest rom-com, 442 00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:34,025 and I mean that in the best possible way. 443 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:37,028 You know, Gil, we really care about you, 444 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,465 and we're always here for you.Yes. 445 00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,989 Even if you're not, you know, here. 446 00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:43,905 Bring it in, you crazy kids! 447 00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:46,299 [all laugh] 448 00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:48,257 No, seriously, though, um... 449 00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,172 thank you for your hospitality. 450 00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:55,395 I'm gonna go take a quick bath and then head out. 451 00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:08,147 "Despite the terrible writing, acting, and directing, 452 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,584 "Tinder-ellais a sweet love story 453 00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:13,456 that just might pull you out of a serious funk." 454 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,110 Hey, I liked it. 455 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,416 A must-watch for rabbis 456 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:17,939 whose wives are shtupping other rabbis. 457 00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:19,201 [all laugh] 458 00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:21,116 Yeah, I decided not to use that quote, Gil. 459 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:23,466 What do you think, Gene, huh? 460 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:25,642 Nothing un-biblical about that review, right? 461 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:26,730 A little tough love 462 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,428 like God with your boy "job"-- Job. 463 00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:29,777 Huh? 464 00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,996 Good "Job," Chip. 465 00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,565 But, hey, 466 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,480 you wrote a movie review, not a movie, 467 00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:38,829 so take it down a notch.[laughs] 468 00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:42,311 Hey, all right. 469 00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,618 Glad to see you smiling again, Gil, 470 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,446 and as for that wife, 471 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:47,925 good riddance.[chuckles] 472 00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:51,102 Best thing I ever did was leave my ex-husband. 473 00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,670 All four of those bastards. 474 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,195 Well, thanks, Gracie. 475 00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:57,718 I, uh, I do feel good. 476 00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,546 I mean, well, I-I'd be feeling even better 477 00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:01,374 if I could get this damn crick out of my neck 478 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,027 that I got from sleeping on their couch. 479 00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,203 GRACIE: Oh. 480 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,205 Gil, maybe I can help you with that. 481 00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,950 That's right. Lean into it, baby. 482 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:15,692 Captioning sponsored by CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 483 00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:17,738 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 34132

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