Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,528
[sighs] Anyone up
for another beer?
2
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:09,052
Or should we switch it up
to holy spirits?
3
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:10,271
[chuckles]
4
00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:12,229
No, it's tempting,
but, man, I tell you,
5
00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,926
I cannot drink
like I used to.
6
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:16,538
I'm still hungover from
a barbecue in August.
7
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,149
2009.
8
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:23,066
Yeah, plus,
I got some work to do tonight.
9
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:27,070
I love how you refer
to watching a movie as work.
10
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,072
I restarted
a man's heart today.
11
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,160
[chuckles]
12
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:33,033
Man, movies are
so bad these days.
13
00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:34,077
What are you reviewing,
14
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:36,079
12 Fast 12 Furious? [chuckles]
15
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,951
Batman vs. Lego Batman? [chuckles]
16
00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:40,301
The Avengers vs. Madea?
17
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:41,954
[laughs]
18
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:43,347
Oh, I wish.
19
00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:45,349
No, it's a,
it's a romantic comedy
20
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:48,091
that's about people
that meet through a dating app,
21
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,266
and it's called...
22
00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:51,094
Tinder-her.
23
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:52,443
Wow.
24
00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:53,879
They're trying way too hard
25
00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,664
to target
that millennial generation.
26
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,319
27
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:01,148
Hey, I'm a sucker for
any rom-com, even the bad ones.
28
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:04,629
They just make me feel
all warm and fuzzy inside.Mm.
29
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:05,978
That's what a glass of wine
30
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:08,807
and my Idris Elba
calendar does for me.
31
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:16,032
You know what doesn't feel
like a warm and fuzzy rom-com?
32
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,122
Wha...?
33
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,081
Are we supposed
to guess or...?
34
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:22,865
My marriage.
35
00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:24,475
Oh, no. What's going on?Oh, no. What's up, man?
36
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:28,000
Ah, rumors are swirling around
the temple that my wife, Sheila,
37
00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:30,568
was seen receiving and enjoying
a back rub at the hands
38
00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:33,180
of the new, young,
handsome rabbi, Trent.
39
00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:36,966
I'm a cuck, Chip.
40
00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:40,926
Really? A back rub to cuck?
41
00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,667
I mean, I...
42
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:46,584
I think there's just a-a few
more stops on the Cuck Express.
43
00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:49,326
I mean, it-it's just
a rumor, right, Gil?
44
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:52,155
I don't know. I heard this
from some veryreliable gossips.
45
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:56,028
The worst part is they say
it happened on Shabbat.
46
00:01:57,856 --> 00:01:59,815
They're calling it
"The Rubdown at Sundown."
47
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,688
Doesn't even rhyme.It kind of rhymes.
48
00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,168
It does.
49
00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,561
But even
if the rumors
50
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:08,563
are true-- and-and
we're all praying they're not--
51
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,304
it's probably nothing.
52
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:12,001
Yeah. I mean,
it's just a back rub.
53
00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:14,134
Okay. But,
54
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:16,701
I mean, if you heard a
rumor that a woman at work
55
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:19,182
was giving me a massage,
how would you feel?
56
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:20,401
Good point.
57
00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,403
I'd drop-kick her
into traffic.
Yes.
58
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,100
All I know is,
59
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,102
if I were to give
any of you a back rub,
60
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,409
we'd be doing other things
real quick.
61
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:30,933
Like what?
62
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,413
You really want to know, priest?
63
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,332
I didn't think so.
64
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:42,945
LESLIE:
Gil,
65
00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,120
you need to confront Sheila.
66
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,730
But you want her
to feel safe,
67
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:47,732
so lead with your heart,
not accusations.
68
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:50,735
And, remember, your wife is
innocent until proven guilty
69
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,084
in the court of love.
70
00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:54,478
Hmm. Thanks for being here
for me, guys.
71
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:57,177
CHIP: Yeah.I'm-I'm gonna go home
and talk to Sheila.
72
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,266
Drinking's not gonna help me.
[chuckles]
73
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,397
There you go, buddy.You go, Rabbi.
74
00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,834
Good luck, man.All right.
75
00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:04,227
Five or six drinks
couldn't hurt.
76
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:05,228
No, go!
Go!
Go!
77
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:07,230
No, seriously, go.
78
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:09,232
♪
79
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:14,237
So, Vince, if you're
giving somebody a back rub,
80
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,805
does it mean that you
want to have sex with them?
81
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:19,242
No. It means
I amhaving sex with them.
82
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:21,462
Why else would I do it?
83
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:22,680
[laughs]
84
00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:24,029
DOUG:
Hey, guys.
85
00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:25,379
How's my Doug-tourage doing?
86
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:26,815
What are you all working on?
87
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,643
Working on getting the hell out
of your 'tourage.
88
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:32,429
I have to write
a review of this
89
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:35,345
terrible romantic comedy
with, uh, Ellen Page
90
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:37,260
and Harry Styles.Ooh.
91
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,828
Love me some H-Styles.
[chuckles]
92
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:43,397
Yeah, I've been to lots
of One Direction concerts.
93
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:46,835
What? It's a great place
to meet girls.
94
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,271
[scoffs]
95
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:51,274
I mean moms!
[scoffs]
96
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,363
Young moms.
97
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,455
Speaking of One Direction, why
don't you mosey off that way?
98
00:03:58,499 --> 00:03:59,978
[chuckles]
99
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,590
Chip, where's
your movie review?
100
00:04:02,633 --> 00:04:03,808
[sighs]
I don't know.
101
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,288
I'm struggling with it,
you know?
102
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,247
I haven't had to review
a stinker
103
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,596
since I started living
by the Bible,
104
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:10,337
and it just doesn't feel
very Christlike
105
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:13,209
to be so negative
about somebody's labor of love.
106
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,819
You know? It's like...
107
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:17,169
calling somebody's baby ugly.
108
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:20,042
Some babies are ugly, Chip.
109
00:04:20,085 --> 00:04:21,565
If you can't
figure out
110
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:24,307
how to write your Bible column and
your movie column,
111
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,962
I'm gonna have to give
your movie reviews to Doug.
112
00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:29,704
Don't worry, Chip,
she'll be in good hands.
113
00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,749
Soft, supple,
114
00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:35,710
small for a man,
but made for a woman.
115
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:38,887
Why do I feel
like I'm gonna be called
116
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,280
to testify against him one day?
117
00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:52,335
[chuckles]:
Hey, boys!
118
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,729
Next round's on me.
[chuckles]
119
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,034
CHIP:
Oh!
120
00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:58,428
Look at this guy.
You're in a good mood.
121
00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:01,213
So, huh, I guess
it went okay with Sheila?
122
00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:03,303
Well, you know,
it's a funny story.
123
00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:06,871
I took Leslie's advice.
124
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:09,439
I headed straight home
to talk to the missus,
125
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,876
and she wasn't even there.
126
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,922
[laughing]
127
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,016
I mean, it's not Tommy Boy
funny, but, you know...
128
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:22,539
Maybe you had to be there?
129
00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:26,369
She was sitting in a car
130
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,980
across the street with...
131
00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:31,287
...Rabbi Trent.
132
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,376
[laughing]
133
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,773
Anyone want to guess
what they were doing?
134
00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,688
Not really.
135
00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:43,430
[laughing]:
They were kissing.
136
00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:44,518
[laughing]
137
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,350
Pretty passionately.
138
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,264
Ugh.
Oh, no.
139
00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:53,440
Come here, buddy.
140
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,050
I'm so sorry, Gil.
141
00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:57,313
Oh, for what?
I'm just thirsty. Come on.
142
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,359
Mmm.
143
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,318
Gil.
144
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,538
All right, the jig is up.
145
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:07,715
I know I made it seem
like everything was...
146
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,586
totally cool and normal.
147
00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:13,024
That's actually not the vibe
I was picking up at all.
148
00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,504
Well, the truth is,
it's, uh...
149
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:15,853
[clears throat]
it's bad.
150
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,420
It's real bad.
151
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:20,423
Uh, I pounded my fist
on the car's windshield
152
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:21,511
and broke it.
153
00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:24,166
And then I realized
it was my car.
154
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:27,343
And tonight I'll be sleeping
on a pile of glass
155
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,171
in a windshield-less car.
156
00:06:29,214 --> 00:06:31,826
And did I mention
the forecast calls for rain?
157
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:35,046
You know, Gil,
158
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,222
I have some
business associates.
159
00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:39,747
Say the word,
and that Rabbi Trent'll have...
160
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,270
[whispers]:
a little accident.
161
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,709
LESLIE:
I feel so bad for Gil.
162
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:48,582
Is there anything we can do?Yes.
163
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:51,062
The Bible commands us to
164
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:55,632
"show hospitality to one
another without grumbling."
165
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:59,506
So, I think we should
ask him to stay here.
166
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,899
Chip, no, that is
not a good idea.
167
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:05,512
I'm hearing grumbling.
168
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:08,253
I think you're reading
too much into this rule.
169
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:11,387
Can I take this
for a while?
170
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,434
Come on. You know, Jesus
would've let Gil stay with him.
171
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:16,044
Yeah, 'cause there was
no Mrs. Jesus
172
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,611
to tell him it was a bad idea.
173
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:22,354
Look, you know I love Gil,
but I have a crazy week at work.
174
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:23,834
I ca...[doorbell rings]
175
00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:26,968
Who's that?
176
00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:35,759
That's gonna be Gil.
177
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,413
I'm sorry.
178
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,545
I-I just saw this conversation
179
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,416
going
a completely different way.
180
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:43,419
Hey! Come on in.Hey!
181
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,942
Hey, thanks for letting me
crash here, guys.
182
00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,466
Now, listen,
183
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:50,774
is there an extension cord
for my sleep apnea machine?
184
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,743
Chip, I need to
talk to you.
185
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,309
Are you sure Gil's
still asleep?
186
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,225
I'm not sure
he's still alive.
187
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:10,098
[filtered breathing]
188
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:13,275
I am on night three
of no sleep.
189
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:15,233
Who makes popcorn
at 4:00 a.m.?
190
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:17,148
Ugh. I don't know,
but didn't really love
191
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,499
the way he stood over our bed
to offer us some,
192
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:22,240
Paranormal Activitystyle.
193
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:23,807
Plus, he's got
those night terrors.
Mm.
194
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,417
[shouting]
195
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:29,465
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
196
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,298
And morning terrors.
197
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:37,908
It's too much.
[sighs]
198
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,562
Chip, this is
my one day off of work.
199
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:42,086
I do SoulCycle,
and then I unwind at home.
200
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,653
I need that.
201
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,699
I mean, I feel for the guy,
but I can't have him around
202
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:48,005
all day, crying through The
View, The Chew,and The Talk.
203
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,181
I know. I get it.GIL: Ay, ay, ay, ay.
204
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:53,445
Yi, yi, yi, yi.
205
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:57,145
Yi, yi, yi!
[grunts]
206
00:08:57,188 --> 00:09:00,104
Morning, Lord Vader.
207
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,236
How you feeling, buddy?
208
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:02,890
[groans]
Not great.
209
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:05,501
I dreamt that this couch
came to life
210
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,242
and then cheated on me.
211
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:10,158
How'd you two sleep? Good?
212
00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:11,899
Well, the screaming
kept us up,
213
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,727
but the whimpering
lulled us to sleep.
214
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,164
You didn't hear me playing
Celine Dion
215
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,948
in the middle of the night,
did you?
216
00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,384
No, we heard it.
217
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,299
You accidentally streamed it
to the Bluetooth speakers
218
00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:23,388
in our bedroom.
219
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,129
I'm sorry about that. I, uh...
220
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:28,393
I needed a reminder that
my heart will, in fact, go on.
221
00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:31,396
So, uh, what
are you thinking, man?
222
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,529
You maybe get back
to the temple today?Yeah.
223
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,488
Oh, I... [chuckles]
I-I can't face my congregation.
224
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:39,404
I mean, you know, I counsel
most of them on theirmarriages.
225
00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:42,843
Right now, the only advice
I got for them is get out!
226
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:49,197
Everybody,
227
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,329
this is my rabbi,
Gil Ableman.
228
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:53,201
I thought you were Catholic.
229
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:54,419
I am.
230
00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:55,986
Catholics can have rabbis.
231
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,162
I don't think that's true.
232
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,078
Gil, just make yourself at home.
233
00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:02,297
Well, that'll
be difficult
234
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,952
without a man here
having sex with my wife.
235
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:07,737
[both laughing]
236
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,260
[laughing]
237
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:12,437
I don't know why we're laughing.
238
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,225
Ah, speak of the devil.
239
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:18,356
It's Sheila.
240
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,315
Morning, Satan.
241
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:22,796
What's up, man?
Hey.
242
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:25,450
I didn't know it was
"bring your rabbi to work day."
243
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:27,452
I didn't know
it was, uh...
244
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:29,629
"wear your cool shirt
and pants day."
245
00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:32,588
That's all I got.
246
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,242
I really like your outfit.
247
00:10:34,285 --> 00:10:36,766
Your friend still
staying with you?
248
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:39,203
Oh, yes.
He's still staying with us.
249
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:40,901
Every time I walk
in the front door, he says,
250
00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:42,293
"Wash your hands
and say your prayers.
251
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:44,121
God and germs are everywhere."
252
00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:47,385
I don't know how you do it, man.
253
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:49,300
I hate people staying
at my place.
254
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,651
Leaving mysterious hairs
on the soap.Ugh.
255
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:54,392
Using my expensive-ass
olive oil,
256
00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:56,525
claiming they thought
it was cheap-ass olive oil.
257
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,570
They knew.
258
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,705
So, how long you gonna keep up
this hospitable thing?
259
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,489
Uh, well...
260
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,404
the Bible's a little vague
on checkout dates,
261
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,493
but, um, I think
he's getting better.
262
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:11,496
Could you please
stop interrupting me, Sheila?!
263
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,326
Chip.
264
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:16,806
[snaps fingers]Is this yours?
265
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,068
Yes, ma'am.
266
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,243
He's my rabbi.
267
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,115
Well, unless
he's performing your bris,
268
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:22,203
he's got to go.
269
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:24,814
Hey, schmeckle.Scram!
270
00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,687
You, take a seat.
271
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:33,475
I just read your
Tinder-ellareview,
272
00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:35,346
and I am confused.
273
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,828
Oh, well, it's a play
on the title Cinderella.
274
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:40,743
I'm about to take off
my glass slipper
275
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:43,137
and shove it somewhere
it definitely won't fit.
276
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:48,403
You are supposed
to be a critic, Chip.
277
00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:52,276
In this review, there's
absolutely no criticism.
278
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,409
You know, you are getting
too comfortable here.
279
00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,541
In fact,
you look way too comfortable
280
00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:57,804
sitting in that chair. Stand up.
281
00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:59,457
I'm sitting.
282
00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:03,897
What I was trying
to say i... Okay.
283
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:06,029
Well, now I feel like you're
in the power position.
284
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:09,163
Nobody sits!
285
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:13,733
Just write a real review.
286
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,038
And the rabbi?
287
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:17,040
He's got to go ra-bye-bye.
288
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,741
[groans]
289
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,527
Hey, Leslie.
290
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:26,833
What you doing?
291
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:29,183
GIL: I'll tell
you, Leslie.
292
00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:31,533
I can fix everyone's
marriage but my own.
293
00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:34,797
What do, what do you and
Chip do when, you know,
294
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,668
you haven't spoken to
each other for six months
295
00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:40,542
and it leads
to infidelity?
296
00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:41,848
Honestly, Gil,
297
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,719
I can't even imagine us
ever in that situation.
298
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,330
Our problems are more like,
"Why'd you eat my pickles?"
299
00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:49,507
Or, "Why are you living 100%
by the Bible?"
300
00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,553
I'm jealous.
301
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,381
You guys have it all
figured out, huh?
302
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:55,383
You know, Gil, it seems like
you're holding a lot inside.
303
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:56,950
This class might help.
304
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,821
It's a great stress reliever.[upbeat music playing]
305
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:02,259
All right, who's ready
to get their soul cycled?
306
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:03,652
Me!
307
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:07,656
I want everyone
to really let go.
308
00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:09,527
Grunt. Shout.
309
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:12,443
Whatever works
to get those stresses out.
310
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,445
[all grunting and shouting]
311
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:15,882
Woo-hoo!
312
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:21,888
Life can be very challenging!
313
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,977
That's what I'm talking about.
314
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,848
Wow.
315
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,502
That felt pretty great.
316
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:29,069
Good. Keep it up.
317
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:31,506
I'm very, very angry!
318
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,857
Good. Use that.
319
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,685
My marriage is a sham!
320
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:38,687
My-my wife never loved me!
Never!
321
00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:42,996
She only makes her side
of the bed.
322
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:45,607
And when I ask her
if a shirt makes me look fat,
323
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,261
she says yes
without even looking!
324
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:51,308
And she puts cheese in
everything even though
325
00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:54,659
she knows damn well
I'm lactose intolerant!
326
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:57,445
And guess what, Sheila?
327
00:13:57,488 --> 00:14:00,622
We both deserve orgasms!
328
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,154
[panting]
329
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:13,635
Okay, now you guys go.
330
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:19,946
Father.
Son.
331
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,949
I have something to confess.
332
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,994
I brought a plus-one.
333
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,997
Hey, Gene.
334
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,520
Never been in one of these.
335
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:31,609
Is it normal to have three
people in a confessional booth?
336
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:33,524
No.
337
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:36,136
It wasn't normal when Chip
brought a pizza in here, either.
338
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:38,138
I did not
"bring a pizza in here."
339
00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:39,182
I had it delivered.
340
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:41,271
And, if I remember correctly,
341
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:43,534
you had three slices,
Father "I'm Not Hungry."[groans]
342
00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:49,714
You see, Father, Chip
offering Gil ourhospitality
343
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,629
has been causing
some problems between us.
344
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:54,589
[sighs] Listen,
I-I love that maniac to death.
345
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:56,808
He's a real mensch.
346
00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:59,072
But when he's having
marital issues,
347
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,900
he can be a pain in the tuches.
348
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:04,251
Did he hit you with that Celine?
349
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,122
Ugh.It's all day now.
350
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:09,169
Near, far, wherever we are.
351
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,388
This afternoon
Chip dumped Gil on me,
352
00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:13,129
and he got me kicked out
of SoulCycle.
353
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,218
[sighs] I'm trying
to do the biblical thing
354
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:17,351
by showing my friend
hospitality, but...
355
00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:18,961
But I haven't
had privacy for days
356
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,137
and, frankly,
mama likes to air-dry.
357
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:25,272
Is that a weird thing
to tell a priest?
358
00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,883
That's a weird thing
to tell anybody.
359
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,798
My point is
I don't want to hurt Gil,
360
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,321
but I-I need my home back.
361
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:34,150
And my point is I just can't
kick out a friend in need.
362
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:35,456
So what do we do?
363
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:39,242
Hey, I only choose sides at KFC.
[chuckles]
364
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:42,158
Being hospitable
to a friend in need
365
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,160
is the right thing to do.
366
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:46,206
[clicks tongue]
Ah, so I was right.
367
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,729
But there have to be limits.
368
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,731
Yeah, so Iwas right.
369
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,994
Well, you're both right.
370
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,127
Oh, you coward.Boo. Ugh, boo.
371
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,389
[scoffs]
372
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:57,043
By tiptoeing around Gil,
373
00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,132
you're actually enabling
his behavior.
374
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,134
The fact is,
if Gil doesn't move out,
375
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:04,267
he's never gonna move on.LESLIE: Hmm.
376
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:07,923
So it's not un-biblical
to tell him to hit the road?
377
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,361
God's a fan of tough love, Chip.
378
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:12,972
Ever hear of Job?
379
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,801
Oh, I've been reading it
as "job."
380
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,281
But I get what you're saying.
381
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:26,028
Because my name is Tinder-ella,
382
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:27,856
and I've been swiping left
on love
383
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:30,293
for far too long.
384
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,208
Well, today...
385
00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:34,906
I am swiping right!
386
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:37,257
You go, T.
387
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,693
Oh, hey.
388
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,260
[laughs] There they are.[TV turns off]
389
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:43,654
FYI, your garbage disposal
is broken.
390
00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,526
We don't have a
garbage disposal.
391
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:49,051
Oh. Then your sink is broken.
392
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,577
Gil, listen... [sighs]
393
00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,492
It's been a pleasure
having you here.
Yeah.
394
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:56,885
And...
395
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:59,540
you know, this isn't
easy to say, but...
396
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,194
I think it's time
that you...
397
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:02,586
Replace the Mountain Dew
I drank?
398
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:03,718
Hmm?
399
00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:04,980
Check the fridge...
400
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,721
in an hour.
I'm gonna go get some.
401
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:08,723
No, no, no.
402
00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:11,204
I-I don't need you
to do the Dew, Gil.
403
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:12,640
I...
404
00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:13,902
What I was gonna say
405
00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:15,208
was that-that
Leslie and I talked,
406
00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:17,297
and we think it's time
that you move out.
407
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:19,386
And we'll totally help you find
a new place. We just think...
408
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,344
Ah, bup-bup-bup-bup.
409
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,433
You had me at, "Get the hell
out of our apartment."
410
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:25,218
[groans]
411
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,524
As evidenced by the Gil-shaped
crater in your couch,
412
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:30,266
I have had a lot of time
to think about it,
413
00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:31,615
and, uh, no, you're right.
414
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:34,444
I-I need to get back
to my own life. [chuckles]
415
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:35,532
And look, man,
we're really sorry
416
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,186
that we couldn't help more.
417
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:38,448
Oh, you helped tremendously.
418
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,320
Are you kidding?
I mean, L-Leslie,
419
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,713
that, uh, SoulCycle class
you took me to,
420
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:43,888
that-that really opened me up.
421
00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:45,238
You know?
I-I wound up
422
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,631
calling Sheila,
and, uh, we figured things out.
423
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:49,459
Oh, really? You two are
getting back together?
424
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,460
Oh, Lord, no.
425
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,419
No, no.
426
00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:54,464
That ship sailed long ago...
427
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,075
and then capsized.
428
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,079
And sunk to the bottom
of the ocean.
429
00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:03,082
Where a shark ate it.
430
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,521
No, I, uh, told her
we're separating.
431
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:08,913
Oh.Oh, man.
432
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:10,828
Well, look, if it makes you
feel any better,
433
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:12,178
she did not sound great.
434
00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,614
Please, it's a blessing.
435
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:16,747
Look, staying here with you
436
00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:19,968
has reminded me
of what a loving relationship
437
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:22,144
is supposed to look like. Right?
438
00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:23,972
You're a team.
You support each other.
439
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,713
You sleep in the same bedroom.
440
00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:29,717
Your love is so real
and uncomplicated,
441
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,675
it would make
the crappiest rom-com,
442
00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:34,025
and I mean that
in the best possible way.
443
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:37,028
You know, Gil, we
really care about you,
444
00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,465
and we're always
here for you.Yes.
445
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,989
Even if you're not,
you know, here.
446
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:43,905
Bring it in, you crazy kids!
447
00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:46,299
[all laugh]
448
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:48,257
No, seriously, though, um...
449
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,172
thank you for your hospitality.
450
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:55,395
I'm gonna go take a quick bath
and then head out.
451
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:08,147
"Despite the terrible writing,
acting, and directing,
452
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,584
"Tinder-ellais a
sweet love story
453
00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:13,456
that just might pull you
out of a serious funk."
454
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,110
Hey, I liked it.
455
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,416
A must-watch for rabbis
456
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:17,939
whose wives are shtupping
other rabbis.
457
00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:19,201
[all laugh]
458
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:21,116
Yeah, I decided
not to use that quote, Gil.
459
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:23,466
What do you think, Gene, huh?
460
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:25,642
Nothing un-biblical
about that review, right?
461
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:26,730
A little tough love
462
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,428
like God with your
boy "job"-- Job.
463
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:29,777
Huh?
464
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,996
Good "Job," Chip.
465
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,565
But, hey,
466
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,480
you wrote a movie
review, not a movie,
467
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:38,829
so take it down a notch.[laughs]
468
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:42,311
Hey, all right.
469
00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,618
Glad to see you
smiling again, Gil,
470
00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,446
and as for that wife,
471
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:47,925
good riddance.[chuckles]
472
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:51,102
Best thing I ever did
was leave my ex-husband.
473
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,670
All four of those bastards.
474
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,195
Well, thanks, Gracie.
475
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:57,718
I, uh, I do feel good.
476
00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,546
I mean, well,
I-I'd be feeling even better
477
00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:01,374
if I could get this damn crick
out of my neck
478
00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,027
that I got from sleeping
on their couch.
479
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,203
GRACIE:
Oh.
480
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,205
Gil, maybe I can
help you with that.
481
00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,950
That's right.
Lean into it, baby.
482
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:15,692
Captioning sponsored by
CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
483
00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:17,738
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
34132
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.