Original subtitles

I'm Everett Saunders, founder and CEO of Shazam Office Moving,

where the wish for professionalism is our command.

Shazam!

The only way to train here is on the job.

Sometimes in front of the client.

- The client pays your bills. - Real shit.

So to guarantee a paycheque from Shazam, just remember one thing.

Not in front of the client.

Fuck all that fuckin' around and shit.

So, saggy pants? Not in front of the client!

Asking when you're gonna get paid?

Not in front of the client!

Cigaretty shirts... Coughing a lot...

Pissing too much... Not in front of the client!

Calling Human Resources...

What? Asking to go for a smoke...

Talking about your weekend... Smelling like shit...

Threatening to sue me...

Not in front...!

If you see this, stop that shit.

- Du rags... - Du rags, uh...

If the client's Black.

If they're Black, it's okay.

The client is your food source.

You wanna get paid or what? Your meat and potatoes.

So shut up, then.

Don't do shit in front of the client.

Don't even talk to the client.

I'm Everett Saunders.

I am Shazam.

You are Shazam.

We are Shazam.

It's not fuckin' "Shazzum."

We also forgot "Fuck the joking,

"fuck the farting, fuck the snack-eating."

Not in front of the client, alright?

We got an easy day for you. Easy job.

Carla, let 'em know.

Uh, Wilcox Trading Co. is renovating their third floor...

What?

So we will be moving 50 employees to their fourth floor.

Today's-- guys, come on!

Come on! Day one, liven up, man!

Oh, you gotta be-- come on, bro.

This guy Cloudy always askin' for the Wi-Fi.

Always needs something, bro!

Lastly, it's probably not the best look

that our entire crew is in training,

so, as of today, you guys have been with us for five years.

Congrats!

The client needs to know that when they book with Shazam,

they're bookin' a fuckin' pack 'a lions!

Ricky, look, these guys just got fired yesterday.

We literally got fired because of you.

And they're already back to the money today.

Fam, we used to kick up in the security room and just chill.

Wahhh! Lions!

I will come and massage your back, and you know,

make you feel good, give you good loving.

Sorry we are late.

...is love, 247. It's love.

Yeah, you. You know?

I love you, my snowflakes.

My obim, mi lolo.

So, what did we miss?

You guys have been here for five years,

and "not in front of the client."

And stop saying shit about not having your papers, alright?

You're a legal citizen.

Yes, boss, yes, boss. Legal.

Alright, what'd you call me?

Cool, so it's Ricky, Eric, Hassan,

Marcus, Michael, and Mike the Bike.

Where the fuck's Mike the Bike?

Biking to site.

That makes sense, alright. Alright, let's rock, niggas.

Hey, whoa! Hey, Ricky! No fuckin' saggin', bro!

Not in front of the client! - Sorry, sorry!

We can't be doing that out there!

Okay, boss.

This guy's not serious, man.

Michael! Sorry, yeah, boss, boss!

- Give me a seat lift! - Boss, boss...

Watch my back, watch my spine! Watch my-- okay.

Turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn!

It's comin' in through the side. Heyyo, Hassan, Ricky...

Bungee strap it to the wall.

Michael, you sit on a milk crate.

I'll catch you guys on site.

Boosh!

I'm not riding in any milk crates, dawg.

I'm driving my car. Ah.

Hey, Mikey!

I'm sorry...

Mikey! Hey-hey! You do not leave your uncle!

Marcus-- what the fuck?

Yeah, what do you need the Wi-Fi for?

Cro, didn't you get fired for being a cop?

Why you still movin' like that, officer?

Hoooo-leeee, fam!

This man loves the law.

Stop movin' like you own the spot.

You're off duty, fam!

I do! I do! The whole family does, Cloudy.

So boom! Bless me with the Wi-Fi.

Heh, cro, yo, use your data, straight.

Swing the passy, bro.

Cloudy, enough's enough, man.

You come to the crib, you use up all the high-speed internet,

download. No, bro!

Woowwwwwww.

Cuz...

You're really not gonna bless mans with the Wi-Fi right now?

After all mans did for you?

Just leave my VR, man. Please, man.

What am I, a scientist? Bro!

Nobody's worried about that nerd shit!

Swing the passy, nigga!

CLOUDYSAPUSSY, all caps, no spaces.

These guys are fuckin' dissin'.

Yo, who's that?

Roll tru, door's open!

What do you mean "roll through"? Cloudy! Yo!

Yo, the tings are rollin' tru?

- It look safe. - Yeah.

Listen, get out, man. I'm gonna sit there...

Eric, holla at me later, broski!

Roll out.

Eric, boss, please, can you stop

at the Country Style, please?

- Fuck it, man, no. - Eric, man, please.

- Look, look, no, no! - Fuck it, Ricky.

Nice.

- Bro, what's that smell? - What?

- In the car. It smells like gas. - Yeah, it's bad.

That's Amir, yeah. He said he fixed that shit.

- Brother, I can't breathe. - Everett!

- Yo, I have asthma. - Yeah, hold your breath.

Trisha! What the fuck? What's the deal?

Oh yeah, yeah, we gonna keep a handshake?

Yeah, we're gonna keep it professional for sure.

- This your contract? - I got you on this job.

I'm the project manager.

Trisha...? You're a project manager?

You didn't think I'd make it?

Nah, just... stepped it up.

Looks like we all stepped it up since college.

Don't-- don't mention college, okay?

I don't want the client thinking I'm out here hiring

my friends and shit, okay?

Oh yeah, you're right, you're right. I'm cool, I'm cool.

Yeah.

- So, is this your crew? - Yeah, yeah, this is them.

- We got more, we got more. - Yeah,.

Hey, hey, hey...

Turn the music down!

Go to the warehouse!

- Okay... - Yeah.

Looks like a real experienced group you got here.

Yeah, no, these guys are sharp, these guys are sharp.

These guys are like five years in right now.

Incredible.

He's new. He's new.

He just got here from Cuba and shit.

Everett, seriously...

Can we at least pretend to be professional?

Trust me, don't worry, we'll tighten up.

You gotta remember that we're comin' in cheap at 5K.

10K.

...5K.

- 10K? - I said 5.

- You said 10. - I heard what I said, 5K.

You just said 10K. I heard what you said.

I'm pretty fucking sure I said 5.

- I heard 10. - Yeah, but I ended up saying 5.

Initially, at the end.

- You get a cut of this shit? - No.

But if Denise does ask, you're invoicing me for 10K.

So you're getting 5, I'm getting 5.

You're getting 5 on my 5?

Between you and me, I think I'm about to get a promotion,

and if I do, I'll be in charge of a fat-ass moving contract

that's being put together right now.

Contract with you? For who? For me?

Hi, Denise.

Absolutely, we're on our way.

Fat contract with who?

Alright, client's here. Let's get this shit done.

Ahh! I just got doored!

Ooh, he's bleeding.

Please do not fuck up this promotion for me, okay?

Handle this shit. - I got you. Yeah, no sweat.

Go upstairs, you relax, you're good. I got it, I got it.

Mike, nigga, shut the fuck up!

I was doored!

You'd think people would use their mirrors

before opening their doors!

You good? You feeling good and shit?

How many fingers? How many fingers?

- Ah... - Yeah.

I don't... Ah, where the fuck is my lock?

It's in your hands, bro.

How the fuck-- how the fuck am I

supposed to lock the fuckin' bike, dude?

Do it somewhere else, do it somewhere else.

Come on, come on, come on.

Aah...

Yo, Cloudz?

One second, yo. This guy's dissin'.

You think Eric will be cheesed if I cop a likkle shorts

off his account?

- It's sick? - It's a bill.

But I think that's why I'm losing my scraps, cro.

- Cop that. - Yeah?

- Yeah, yeah. - Say less.

This guy has thread money anyways.

Oh, one sec, I hear the door.

Are you fuckin' crazy, bro? Fuckin' stupid...

Yo, where you going?

Where you going? Ho-leee! Ho-leee!

This guy's swingin' on me, eh?

You fuckin' crazy, bro? Come 'ere!

Yo,.

This guy thinks I don't have a job!

Man's got pepperoni!

Yo, broski, see this?

Yo, family, chill, B! Yo, broski!

Broski! Yo, chill, broski!

Aaahhhh!

You fuckin' knocked all the pizza, B!

Oh, fuck.

Alright, so, all the employees will now

be going to the fourth floor blue section.

When you get up there, you'll notice that all the sections

are colour-coded and numbered off.

So, red with red, blue with blue, grey...

Oh, Grey is tricky.

Tell them about grey.

Yeah, so, grey will be split up

because we did run out of colours.

Um, uh, some will be going to the south side of the building,

some in the centre by the bathrooms.

We do all this so that when the employees come back to...

Hi.

Uh, when the employees come back to work,

it's the same set-up just a different floor.

Mm-hm. Cool, yeah, no problem. Easy.

I didn't think I needed to say this,

but no smoking or vaping in the building.

He just quit.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Is Cloudy on my VR?

"Thank you for your purchase"? What the fuck?

No, my baby!

Okay, everyone good?

Break, lions.

Let's go back to the office.

Yo, fucker, come off my fuckin' VR,

stop callin' niggas at work,

and stop runnin' up my credit card, bro!

Whoa.

What the fuck...?

Oh, fuck!

How the fuck I do that?

Mikey?

Eh-eh.

Uncle Marcus, focus on your own bin, now.

- Ah. Eh-eh-- - Ah.

Ah!

- Ah-ah. - Ah-ah!

Ah-ah!

Ah-ah!

Ahh-ahh!

Continue working.

Let's go... Let's go, let's go.

It's bless. Bless.

Very full.

Two chairs.

Two chairs...

- Yo. - Holy fuck!

Dawg, I thought you were Everett!

I just fuckin' shat my heart out.

Is your boy Mike just gonna leave his bike anywhere?

Oh, fuck that. Bro, free pop.

Bumped it earlier, a fuckin' soda fell out.

I'm tryin' to fuckin' bump this shit.

So bounce me a drink right now.

Fuck.

Yo have to hit it properly.

You have to hit it strategically, like...

Yeah?

- Ah! - Just hit it same time?

A one-punch thing?

You tried pressin' the button?

No. No.

- The next one! - Far out, bro.

Far out, far out.

- Send me dat. - Easy.

Ho-leee.

Lemme chill a little.

Zero work ethic.

Everybody just chilling.

We're workin'.

You have your bag?

It's a lot. It's a lot of money.

It's a lot.

- Bullshit, bro. - I dunno, man.

I swear we be on the same train,

like you be reading my mind, you know?

- Kush man blessed. - Yeah, yeah!

Show him why you're 28-0!

Ho-lee! Ho-lee!

Ho-lee! Ho-lee!

Okay!

Top dog out here, bruh! Top dog!

You're good, guy. You're good, yo.

This guy's screamin' up the place, bro!

Oh shit, he's not down! What the fuck?!

Fam!

Ahhh.... hahaha!

- Mikey? - Yes, yes, yes.

Be ready with.

- Two, three... - Up... high!

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah!

It was already like this! Ha-ha-ha!

Hey-hey, Mikey, Mikey, Mikey...

Hey.

So, pretty much everything's on wheels

and ready to go up.

Is it cool if I break my guys for lunch?

Make it quick. There's a sausage stand

just outside the building.

Ah, sausage.

Oh, is sausage not good enough for your little lions?

Nah, it's just, ah...

anything else, or...?

Okay, well, I have a budget for lunch, so take it or leave it.

I am so hungry!

There's a chorizo thing outside.

It's lookin' really yummy, man.

Really, really yummy, so...

maybe we can...

- It's on Trisha. - Yeah?

Yeah.

Really? Wow, thank you so much.

Grab me if you need me in the lunchroom, yeah.

Okay, sausage party!

Don't say that.

Seven hot dogs for seven my friends.

Um...

Okay, now, for me.

Special for me. Do you have a... um...

a spicy chorizo?

No, boss, look. Two, two options.

Hot dog, sausage.

Hot dog and saus... Two, you have?

Only two, boss.

Wow.

Polish... Uh...

Okay, uh, let me get a...

Let me do a...

A little bit of...

- There's two options, boss. - Yeah, this one.

- Hot dog? - Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Do that one.

Actually, man, you are going to hate me.

Let me do a...

the hot Polish... hot Polish sausage.

Come on, boss.

Please. Sorry, please. I'm very sorry.

I give you big tip, man, don't worry.

- Yeah? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And with that, let me have a, um...

a Prite with that one.

Give me a Prite. - A Prite?

- Yeah. - What's that, a Prite?

A Prite. Uh...

- What is that? - The drinky, Prite.

- This one here. You have-- - Oh, no, boss, I'm sold out.

This is, uh, display only.

Display for people to drink it, right?

- Last one, please. I'm sorry. - Last one, last one.

No, no, no, boss, boss, boss.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's display.

Boss...

No, boss.

Why you do that, boss?

It's display.

You know what's funny?

It doesn't taste like a display. It tastes like Prite.

- Ah-ah. - Here you go.

- Thank you. - Here-- oh!

Bah!

Here you go, Eric. Go, Eric...!

Here, take it!

Here, Hassan...

- Are these ones halal...? - Uh, halal?

Halal, halal... - Yeah.

This one halal, 100%, just for you.

Special for you.

Yo, who the fuck touched my bike?

Hassan, you said you parked it right there, dude?

Who the fuck moved my bike?

Who the fuck moved my bike?!

We had to move it.

- Move it where? - It was in a bad spot.

Mikey, Mikey...

Can't you see I'm eating?

Who took my fucking bike?!

- Ah-ah! - Okay?!

Don't touch my fucking bike!

Tell me about this fat-ass contract.

What the actual fuck is going on?

It's just lunchtime shit.

They'll be good after.

Oh, it's lunchtime. Why aren't you eating?

It makes your burps stink. What's your--

Just eat the fucking dog, you pussy.

Listen, we'll go for coffee if you guys can get it together,

'cause this is actually fucked.

What's your schedule like?

Hi, Denise.

What's your schedule?

- Absolutely. - What's your schedule?

- Okay, on my way. - What's your schedule like?

Dawg, security's on my ass about where you guys parked.

We'll take care of it.

Guys, guess what I'm talking about, man, guess!

You guys know-- everybody know the movie, man!

- Alright, guys, guys... - Diamond.

Guys, guys... Guys, guys, talk to me, talk to me.

"Say what's up to my little friend!"

Time out, time out, time out.

Stuart Little, Stuart Little.

Scarface.

What? What you say?

Scarface.

That's the one! Scarface!

Alright, guys. Guys, guys, guys.

Ricky, Ricky ! Go move the van.

The rest of you, lock in, man.

Meet me on the floor in five minutes, alright?

Let's get back into it.

Ah... oh! Ugh!

- Come on, man. - And come off the.

I don't know, but for this level of service,

they're definitely overcharging. I mean, $10,000?

You know, that's just the moving business.

Any no-frills company like this

will charge you about five digits.

We can definitely get something off the invoice, there.

We can't just nickel and dime them

because of a couple of mishaps, scrapes on the wall...

Have you broads seen it? Yo!

It was right here, where you said it would be--

Who's he yelling at?

Oh my God!

It was right there. Oh! Oh, no, the building's moving!

It's okay?! It's not okay!

Everett... Everett.

Oh my God. Are you...

- Fuck the pop! - Wow...

Fuck the pop!

- Everything is fine. - It's fine?!

- It's okay. - Alright, all aboard?

Yeah, come on.

After you, please.

Hop in the elevator, quick ride.

Hey, my mom has that shirt.

- Please, after you. - Oh.

- After you. - Oh. Cool.

Squeeze in, squeeze in. Plenty of space. Alright...

What floor is it again?

Sorry about Mike.

He... got doored this morning, so...

bonked his head pretty good.

He's still working?

With a head injury?

- Well, you know... - Is that an OHSA violation?

No, no, no, no. He's, uh, he's built good.

He has a strong head, so he's... yeah, he's good.

He was bad, but he's... he's good.

Do you smell pepperoni? Is there...

some food in these bins somewhere?

Smells like a Polish sausage, yeah?

It does.

Alright, ladies, I'll meet you back up here.

I gotta get-- I forgot something downstairs.

Fuck...

Oh, babe...

Who is the captain now? Eh?!

Hey, Ricardo, we're not going to go to.

When you fuckin' with me, you fuckin' with the best.

Hey, ladies.

Come with me, join me in the car, ladies!

Ferrari...

Lamborghini...

Spaceship! Let's start it.

Wow...

Like a tiger.

You know, and it still...

What the fuck?

What the fuck is that?

Everett!

Fuck...

Everett?

I'll come to you, I'll come to you.

I, I...

What?

What the fuck is that?

They said construction would leave a scent, but, fuck...

Yeah, it's probably like a vent or something.

Yeah, it's probably construction.

Upstairs, different coloured bins were stacked together,

put in the wrong sections.

So a bunch of the cubicles will need a re-do.

That's on us. No problem. Our bad.

- Alright. - We're on it, done.

Guys, we're not done.

What do you mean, we're not done?

Man, fuck the bitching!

You guys put 50 bins in the wrong place!

Y'all did this to y'all.

Yo, Everett. I don't feel too good.

I don't think that lunch meat was halal.

This guy's not serious, man.

Bro, I'm serious.

No, I gotta go home.

Cloudy's runnin' up my VR. That's another 100.

This is ridiculous now. - Come on, let's get serious.

Where the fuck is my bike, Eric?

- Mike, it's Everett. - What?

- Everett, Eric. - The fuck is my bike?

Fuck, you're fuckin' me up, Mike.

I'm Eric.

Uh, I thought there was one.

Eric, Eric, did I say Bismillah?

Before I ate the hot dog?

Let's get serious, come on! Fuck that bike, man.

Listen, we got one more hour.

Strap off, alright.

So, you can't tell me anything about this contract tonight?

I said we'll do coffee.

- You smoke? - Oh my God.

Goodnight, thank you.

Nigga! Mike!

That's my bike, that's my bike!

- That's my bike! - Mike, not a good look!

Not a good look in front of the client!

He's fucking crazy, man!

This fucking idiot! What is his problem?

Alright, alright! Alright, alright!

Everybody good? Everybody calm?

- Fuckin' cool. - Oh, that's not even my bike.

Where the fuck is my bike?

Mike, Mike, it's in the van, probably.

- What? - It's in the van.

Where the fuck is the van...?

Mike...

Shazam.

Such a pleasure, Denise.

Fuck...

Everett... the van is gone.

What do you mean, the van's gone?

It's gone.

- Where'd you put it? - It disappeared.

- Put it in a tow zone. - I don't know.

Brother, did you say the van is gone?

Fine. I'll drive some of your guys.

Mike, Mike, you're with me. Mike, come, come on.

Oh, I'ma-- fuck, I'ma throw up.

Call the city.

Oh my God!

What?!

Stop, stop!

Auzubillah minashaitan nirajeem.

- Hassan! - That was not halal.

Whatever you guys gave me, that...

My bad.

This guy's crazy, bro!

Yo Eric, you need a trim, styll!

He's crazy! This guy's crazy!

Bros, look at my aunty's wall, bro!

Get out, bro!

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