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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:05,797 I am the target. 2 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,590 I am the target. 3 00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:09,926 - I am the target. - Ugh! 4 00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:13,513 Then go already! Bag with which one douches. 5 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,014 Sorry, what's that? Miss it. 6 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,849 I can't hear you... 7 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,769 - All right. - Over the sound... 8 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:21,604 - Come on. - Really? 9 00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:24,107 ...of my deafening awesomeness. 10 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,568 Come on. Suck it, women. 11 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,029 Oh, my God, I hate him so much. What a dick. 12 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,698 Three hundred bucks. Damn it. 13 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,951 Come render the salad unto Caesar. Yeah. 14 00:00:35,119 --> 00:00:36,452 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh-uh. 15 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:37,995 Yes. We're still in the lead. 16 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,915 Check it out. Look. Well, yeah, but just by one. 17 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:44,127 And? And Cyril's got three throws left... 18 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,754 ...to get two measly points... Ha, ha. Yeah. 19 00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:49,465 ...for the win. Exactly. 20 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,803 Are you shitting me? Will you shut up? 21 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:55,304 - Ignore him. - Oh, my God. 22 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:58,224 Forget those first two darts and just find your center. 23 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:01,728 Maybe it's in your vagina, right? What is? 24 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,731 Come on, Cyril. What's the matter? 25 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,942 Can't perform under pressure? I... 26 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:12,155 - Could you repeat that, please? - Onomatopoeia. 27 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,322 Uh... 28 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,660 O-N-O... 29 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:21,706 ...M- O-T-O... 30 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,501 Pee? 31 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:27,170 Jeezy Petes. 32 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,799 You idiot. How could you miss that? 33 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,968 How could he not? He's Cyril. 34 00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:36,846 Come on, gals. Pammy Pam is buying. 35 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,056 Way to go, Chokely Carmichael. 36 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:40,683 Pam. Pam, wait up. 37 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,728 Come on, get me drunk enough, I might have sex with you. 38 00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,021 Really? No. 39 00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,606 It's a catch-22. 40 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:48,316 The amount of alcohol I'd need... 41 00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:49,859 ...would literally kill me. Dick. 42 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:52,695 I wanna see how many pool balls you can fit in your mouth. 43 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,031 My record's three. 44 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,034 Oh, come on, buddy. You want a drink? 45 00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:02,288 No, I... Not even some vinegar and water? 46 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,374 With friends like that, eh? Huh? 47 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:10,213 Your friends. Well, they're not really my friends. 48 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,507 We just work together. Oh, hello. 49 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,801 At ISIS, you said? I... 50 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,470 - No, I didn't say that. - Well, somebody must have. 51 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,056 Champagne? George, by the way. George Spelvin. 52 00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:21,265 Cyril Figgis. Good. 53 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:22,475 And thank you. 54 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,685 No, thank me tomorrow. 55 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:28,147 After Cyril Figgis saves the day. 56 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:10,481 I don't know what mother is so mad about. God, Pam, would you hurry up. 57 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:11,899 Would you shut up? 58 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,443 Fricking head's pounding, I'm sweating booze... 59 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:17,864 ...and my mouth is killing me. You stuffed four pool balls in it. 60 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,283 - Personal best. - Your mother must be so proud. 61 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,702 Yeah. Oh, wait, she's dead. 62 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,787 And what is up with your mother? 63 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,539 Uh, what comes after infuriated? 64 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:30,293 Great. That's just what I need, coming off a blackout drunk. 65 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,461 Yeah, the last thing I remember was... 66 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,047 I don't know. Were we super bitchy to Cyril? 67 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,175 Probably. Yeah. 68 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,219 Great. Now he's gonna be moping around... 69 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,305 ...like Droopy Dog on downers for the day. 70 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,639 Hey. Morning, gang. 71 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:47,059 Jeez, Archer, what's got your mom so worked up? 72 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,979 This! Krieger. 73 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:54,984 Hunch, hunch. 74 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:58,613 And the damn thing is spreading, to every computer in the office. 75 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,866 Ha-ha-ha. Do you think this is funny? 76 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,160 Do you not? Nobody can do any work. 77 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:06,829 Yeah. So can we go home, or... Absolutely. 78 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:10,666 Right after you idiots deworm the entire computer network. 79 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,628 Oh, come on. Seriously? 80 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:17,131 How are we supposed to do that? Well, I could take a crack at it. 81 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,799 Duh-duh-duh! Don't touch it. I know... 82 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,135 Cyril, go do whatever it is you do. But... 83 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,679 Like suck at stuff. And leave this to people... 84 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:26,766 ...who are more qualified. At not sucking at stuff. 85 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,226 But I... Cyril, just beat it. Krieger is on this. 86 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,478 I think. 87 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:33,230 At least, I have a: 88 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:34,482 COMPUTER PIRATE Hunch, hunch. 89 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:35,816 What, what? What, what? 90 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:40,321 Inappropriate. 91 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,614 What do you mean? 92 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,699 No. I mean, the first part worked. 93 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:47,286 I snuck into the mainframe last night, after all the champagne and the... 94 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,871 Hand jobs, yes. 95 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,915 Yeah. The twins are quite fond of you. 96 00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:52,541 Well... Ha-ha-ha. 97 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,961 Anyway, I loaded that into the mainframe... 98 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,380 Splendid. Then open your dish. 99 00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,007 Part two, where I use your code to kill the worm... 100 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:03,177 ...and kind of be the hero for once, that didn't happen. 101 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,055 Don't worry about it. Open your dish. No, thanks, I'm... 102 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,349 Cyril, I got that specially for you... 103 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:12,645 ...and quite frankly, you're insulting me. Now, open your dish. 104 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,189 Sorry, George, I didn't mean to be... 105 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,233 George, there's money in there. Good. 106 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:19,944 I thought they brought you chicken toes or something. 107 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:22,071 George, why is there money in there? 108 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,740 George. Cyril, I've been just a teeny bit... 109 00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:26,492 ...less than honest with you. No. 110 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,411 No, no, no. It's nothing sinister. 111 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,163 I design computer security systems. 112 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,791 CIA, Ml6, ODIN, all the biggies. 113 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,003 You must be pretty good at it. 114 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,546 Too good, that's the problem. 115 00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:42,508 My systems can't be hacked, so now I can't convince anyone to upgrade... 116 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:46,595 ...which is why I designed this. And thanks for helping me test it. 117 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:49,765 If it's that easy on an XL-9 network like the one at ISIS... 118 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,435 ...I think I can convince my clients they're at risk. 119 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,186 Wait, what kind of risk? 120 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,106 Not from this. It's just a cute little pirate. 121 00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:02,611 But it shows there are flaws out there that can be exploited by bad people. 122 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,780 But... Trust me, it's for the greater good. 123 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:07,241 I guess. It just... If you're uncomfortable... 124 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:10,202 ...taking the 50 grand, I'll just... No, no. 125 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,496 Fifty grand? No, I mean... 126 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,541 Look, as long as it's for the greater good. Oh, it is. 127 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:19,128 And as long as I can still, you know, swoop in and save the day, ha-ha... 128 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,504 Um... 129 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,590 Okay. 130 00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,717 Ugh. 131 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,303 That might be a problem. You think? 132 00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:31,307 Oh. I do. Because now the worm is in the mainframe databanks. 133 00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:33,017 - Hunch, hunch. - What, what? 134 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,477 Damn it, Pam! 135 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,395 - Sorry. - Hunch, hunch. 136 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,648 I was just checking to see if it's still doing it. 137 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,817 Of course it's still doing it! 138 00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,069 Hunch, hunch. 139 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,779 - What, what? - Pam! 140 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,113 That's not me! 141 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,157 Yes, it is! Wha...? 142 00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,826 Pam, I swear to God! 143 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:54,413 Yeah. Quit screwing around, Pam. This is serious. 144 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,666 Very. If the worm gets into the mainframe's encrypted files... 145 00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:01,003 Holy shit. The identity of every single ISIS field agent is on there. 146 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,338 So what? What...? 147 00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:06,258 Because most secret agents don't tell every harlot from here to Hanoi... 148 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,344 ...that they are secret agents. 149 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:09,887 Then why be one? 150 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,765 - What, what? - Ah, jeez. Sorry, that one's on me. 151 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,017 Ugh. Just turn off the mainframe! 152 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,353 - Uh, yeah. We tried that. - What...? 153 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,021 Then how is it still on? 154 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,524 Because the worm has transformed the mainframe... 155 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:24,527 ...into a sentient being. 156 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,278 - What? - I'm kidding. 157 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,781 There's a battery backup. Yeah. Over there. 158 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,534 Behind about 2 tons of steel and one electronic lock. 159 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:35,412 Which is controlled by the mainframe. 160 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:38,666 Well, what genius thought that up? Uh... 161 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,335 This one. Ugh. 162 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,505 - Hunch, hunch. - What, what? 163 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,258 Sorry. 164 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:57,560 And where the hell have you been? On agency business, at the bank. 165 00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,603 Sesame Ginger Savings and Loan? 166 00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,231 What's all this? 167 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,733 This is the backbreaking work we've been doing... 168 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,570 ...while you were getting takeout from your stupid Chinese bank. 169 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:11,407 Every single one of these has to be wiped, reformatted, the whole shmeel. 170 00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:14,034 What? It's just a little cartoon pirate. 171 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,871 Was. But it mutated, and now we're, like, on the brink... 172 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,581 ...of World War II. Three. 173 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,875 It's not a competition, Pam. 174 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,586 Well, is it or isn't it? I don't know. 175 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:26,422 The mainframe thinks they're nuclear missile launches... 176 00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,632 ...but the darn thing is so screwed up. 177 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:29,800 Hunch, hunch. 178 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,594 Sorry! Case in point. 179 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:34,597 There's really no way to be sure. What am I supposed to do? 180 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,432 Just look out the window? 181 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,726 Nuh-uh. You don't wanna be anywhere near a window. 182 00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:40,352 Same thing in a tornado. 183 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,897 And they can't even turn off the stupid mainframe. 184 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,399 Some stupid battery thing is in some stupid vault. 185 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:50,362 But they don't need to turn off the... Darn it, I can fix this. 186 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,781 Oh, please, he couldn't fix dinner. 187 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:56,076 He doesn't need to, with a bank like... Not a real bank. 188 00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:57,369 Damn it. 189 00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,289 Sorry. But I have no idea how to open this thing. 190 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:01,957 Not really my legerdemain. 191 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,710 You mean bailiwick? I don't know, whatever. 192 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,086 Look out. What are...? No! 193 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,296 Don't. 194 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,634 For the love of God, man. You massive asshole. 195 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,427 Sorry, I thought that would work. 196 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:15,054 Really? No, look at that thing. 197 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,599 It's like it's made out of Wolverine's bones. 198 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,851 You know? Because the... 199 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,186 Does nobody read X-Men? 200 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,605 So, hey, how about I take a crack? 201 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,649 I bet I could kill that pesky old worm. 202 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,817 How? You gonna disappoint it to death? 203 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,611 Hey, you know what...? Yes, I do. 204 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:34,198 Beat it, Cyril, let the grown-ups work. But leave this, I'm starving. 205 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,574 No. Give me that. 206 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:39,411 Hey. Wait a damn minute. I said I was hungry. 207 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:42,331 Great. 208 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:53,342 There. Now we don't have to reformat all those stupid things. 209 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,510 Brilliant. Right? 210 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:57,263 Totally. Because how is the elevator supposed to work... 211 00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,432 ...with a jillion pounds of freaking computers on it? 212 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,268 Who am I, Elisha Otis? 213 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,187 Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up. 214 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,481 Cyril, what is going on with you? Aah! 215 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,150 Nothing is going on. 216 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,987 Hi, you've reached George Spelvin. 217 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,824 Um... Hated that phone. Ha-ha-ha. 218 00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:18,826 Always dropping calls, you know? 219 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,661 Probably holding it wrong. Yeah. 220 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:24,832 Just like Cyril Figgis always does everything wrong, is that what you mean? 221 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,668 Basically. Well, for your information... 222 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,045 ...Cyril Figgis knows how to beat the worm. 223 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,380 Yeah, I bet. 224 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,173 The computer worm. What...? 225 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:37,303 Krieger can't even beat it. Krieger, whose virtual girlfriend is so real... 226 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,639 ...the state of New York is allowing him to legally marry her. 227 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:44,351 Oh, Krieger-san. 228 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:49,023 Soon we will be married, yes? Very soon, my little cherry blossom. 229 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,025 Would you please... Buh-buh-buh-buh! 230 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,193 - ...focus! - No! 231 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:56,613 Krieger-san. I'm here. No! 232 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,367 No! 233 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,910 You maniac! 234 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:05,205 You blew her up! Oh, damn you! 235 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:09,585 God damn you all to hell! 236 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,422 So how is this going? Not great. 237 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,507 The worm is decrypting the agent list. 238 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,594 Then, apparently, it's gonna upload them to an off-site server. 239 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:21,930 Oh, my God. Plus now I'm going to die alone. 240 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:25,517 And once the worm decrypts the cover list and uploads it... 241 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,354 ...to whoever is behind this foul deed... 242 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:32,066 ...every ISIS agent in the field will be exposed. 243 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,525 And probably killed. 244 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,444 Really? Am I on that list? 245 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:39,281 Archer, do something. Who am I, Alan Turing? 246 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,367 Also from X-Men. Remember? 247 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,576 - Sterling. - What? 248 00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,578 Are we keeping you from something? No. 249 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:47,331 Well? Well what? Cyril was just... 250 00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:50,292 Right here. Like, one second ago. 251 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:53,253 So where are we? What's the plan? 252 00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:55,631 I'm going to sell it. 253 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:58,133 The Russians, maybe the North Koreans. 254 00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:00,386 Famine or no, they've got a shitload of money. 255 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,887 But you can't do that. 256 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,889 One moment, darlings. 257 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,474 Of course I can. 258 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:08,394 Once my little worm uploads the list to my server... 259 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,437 But it's not yours. You stole it. 260 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,606 Bought it, from you. I... 261 00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:15,567 Well, okay, then sell it back to me. Can't. 262 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,320 You just said you could. Won't, then. Whatever. 263 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,239 Look... Take the money back. 264 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,158 Here's the... Almost fifty thousand. Count it. 265 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:26,328 You'd still be about three zeros short. What? 266 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,081 Fifty million? Seller's market. 267 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,999 But that's not fair. Ow! 268 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,002 It is exactly fair. You made a choice. 269 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:37,339 Just like every other choice every other human being has ever made... 270 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,674 ...it has a consequence. 271 00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:40,843 I just wanted to show them I could... Them? 272 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:45,681 Or maybe your father, who never thought you quite measured up. 273 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:49,726 He... Hey, how did you know that? I don't know, it was just a guess, really. 274 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:53,272 Okay, what if I get you the 50 million? 275 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:59,736 One is inclined to ask how. I happen to be a kick-ass accountant. 276 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:04,032 Did that sound a lot better in your head? Yes, it did. 277 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,578 Damn, that's over half the cover list. 278 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:10,706 Krieger, we don't have much time. Can you stop the worm or not? 279 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:15,711 Oh, I thought we were putting all our eggs in the battery-shutdown basket. 280 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,881 It could take hours for this thing to bypass the electronic lock. 281 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,966 Well, then I should get my turtleneck. 282 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,802 Archer. Hey, so, uh, you busy? 283 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:27,055 Yes. Or no, I don't know. Who's asking? 284 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,726 You, Cyril, are a ******* idiot. 285 00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:34,146 Look, I just wanted to show everybody I could perform under pressure. 286 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,815 And just for once, be the guy who... Ow! Who what? 287 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,401 Betrays the agency? And then begs me to save you? 288 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:43,655 No, not me, all those field agents. Ugh! 289 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,659 How much did he pay you? Fif... Forty thousand? 290 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,911 Cyril. Fifty thousand. 291 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,412 Mine. But I already spent... 292 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,081 ...like, 3000 on new suits and shoes and... 293 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:57,085 Mine! Take the suits to my tailor and the shoes to my shoemaker. 294 00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,130 I... You have a shoemaker? 295 00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,382 Do you not? 296 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:14,228 I am unbelievably angry right now. That's good, you should channel that. 297 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,438 Onto Spelvin, whose fault this is. 298 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:19,775 Shut up and break it down. You've been inside, what's the layout? 299 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:23,779 Well, let me see, it's pretty big... What is the floor plan? 300 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:27,115 Where's the primary ingress? Orientation. Are there windows? 301 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,785 Do they face west? Can we use the sun to our advantage? 302 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:32,913 I'm pretty sure it has windows. 303 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,626 Give me the gun. No. Why? 304 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,795 We're here, idiot. 305 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,631 Oh. Once in, give this to Spelvin. 306 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,132 It's full of counterfeit bearer bonds. 307 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,010 Where did you get counterfeit bonds? Don't open it. 308 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,972 There's a canister of knockout gas wired to the latch. 309 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,474 Cool. Duh. Okay, try not to screw... 310 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,561 Wait, it's just Spelvin up there, right? Um... 311 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,354 Cyril. There's probably two... 312 00:14:57,522 --> 00:15:02,609 ...incredibly sexy Asian women in bikinis. Oh, I'm suddenly much less angry. 313 00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,278 Well, you say that. 314 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,071 Damn it, the worm has got the list. 315 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,657 How long will it take to upload it to the server? 316 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:12,327 I don't know, maybe five hours? Good, then we've got some time. 317 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:15,163 Or minutes. Look, I'm a little busy. 318 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,791 Getting back in the old dating game. 319 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:22,004 Yep. Fifty million dollars in real bearer bonds... 320 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,047 ...which are real. Unbelievable. 321 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:27,593 Well, like I said... No. Literally, I don't believe you. 322 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,762 Just open it up and look. At what, Cyril? 323 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,432 A big spritz of knockout gas? 324 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:35,642 Uh, apparently not. 325 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:40,397 Exactly. Because I don't even know if that's a real thing. 326 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:44,109 Okay, Spelvin, where's the ISIS cover list? 327 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:47,195 - Oh, it's just over there on the server. - Where's the...? 328 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,281 Hello, kitties. 329 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:53,285 Listen, if you're not busy after, we should grab a drink or... What? 330 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,787 Aah! Damn it, Cyril. Remember to channel it. 331 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,040 You said they were sexy. Ninjas are sexy. 332 00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,625 Right? I mean, I think so. 333 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,043 Good. Ugh. 334 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,378 I don't wanna hurt you, ladies. 335 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:08,175 So how about we all just put our swords down. 336 00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,719 But you don't have a sword. 337 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,014 Can I? Of course. Why not? 338 00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:16,183 Keiko-chan, katana. 339 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,853 Yeah, but now she doesn't have a... 340 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,857 - You're just set on doing this, huh? - Yes, we are. 341 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,158 Gotcha. 342 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,868 That was a gift. Shut up. 343 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:36,995 Oh, come on. 344 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,331 Sorry in advance for this. 345 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,587 Wait, wait, wait, stop. Stop. 346 00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:46,922 Do you hear that? What? 347 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,007 That crunching noise? 348 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,385 Do you hear this? 349 00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,178 No, no, no, hang on. Don't... 350 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,930 - Channel it, Archer. - Cyril! 351 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,057 Oh, I think so. 352 00:16:57,892 --> 00:17:00,894 Cyril, get the ******* gun. Uh... 353 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:02,896 Okay. 354 00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,607 You're bringing this on yourself. Oh! 355 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,568 Hah! Anytime now, Cyril. 356 00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:14,074 Pity. Probably have to knock five percent off my asking price for the list. 357 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:17,077 What? More than that, I bet. Seller's market. 358 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,538 Wait, wait, wait. Stop. Stop. 359 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:20,747 Do you hear that? 360 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,291 No, you tit. The only thing I hear is... 361 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,295 Drop it, Spelvin. Oh, Cyril. 362 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:30,048 I'm warning you. Shoot him, Cyril. But just him. 363 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,384 I think the twins are warming up to me. 364 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,971 Right? Are you guys...? Am I getting some signals? 365 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,472 Oh, shut up. Make me. 366 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,975 Cyril, we both know you can't do it. 367 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,476 Ye... Yes, I can. 368 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:44,563 Oh, okay. Then go ahead, Cyril. Shoot. 369 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,565 Just him, though. Right? 370 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,484 - I... - Don't have it in you? 371 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:52,320 Don't have it now, didn't have it when you were a wheezy... 372 00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,948 ...four-eyed little kid, trying to impress daddy. 373 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,325 I... How did you fail him? Was it sports? 374 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,077 I was all-conference lacrosse. 375 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,580 Pretty demanding sport, pretty tough on the glutes. 376 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:05,000 This one knows what I'm talking about. I see you checking them out. 377 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,919 No, not sports. Look at you, shoulders like a trout. 378 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,588 - Spelvin. - But what? 379 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:14,634 What was the failure that forever killed the love in your father's heart? 380 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,472 Regional Spelling Bee. 381 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,021 Holy shit. 382 00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:29,649 You suck at everything. Oh, it's not his fault, he just... 383 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:37,032 You whinging little shit. You just cost me $50 million. 384 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,201 But I'm gonna get my money's worth in... 385 00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,369 Uh-uh. I've still got one bullet. 386 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:44,706 Oh, does he? Who am I, Count Bulletsula? 387 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,667 Like Dracula? That was bad. Come back to me, I can do better. 388 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:51,213 I will come back to you, because even if you do have one left... 389 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,673 ...you can't shoot all three of us. 390 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,051 No. Just you. 391 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,388 All right, fair enough. Come on, girls. 392 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,934 Hey, call me if you ever wanna get that drink. 393 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:06,144 Either of you, both, whatever. 394 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:10,565 Unless the sister thing is weird for you. I'm, obviously, way into it. 395 00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:13,860 All right, Archer, you win this round. 396 00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:15,278 No shit, Spelvin. 397 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,531 Well, technically, I won it, but... 398 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,283 Wh...? Jeezy Petes, Archer. 399 00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:23,161 Huh. Could've sworn you fired six. Could've blown my foot off. 400 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,247 Which you deserve after what you did. 401 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:29,084 I'm sorry, okay? And I promise, I'll never do anything like that again. 402 00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:30,418 So... So, what? 403 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:33,004 So do you have to tell anybody? 404 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,633 Uhn! Depends. You learn anything? Oh, God, yes. I did. 405 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:41,429 I swear. I learned a huge valuable lesson that I will remember for the rest of my life. 406 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:44,099 Which you will spend never knowing if I rat you out. 407 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:45,934 What? Yeah. So, what did you learn? 408 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:49,312 To never confide in you? There you go. 409 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:53,275 See? As long as you learn something from it, it's not a mistake. 410 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:56,611 Okay. Where...? Archer, where are you going? 411 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:57,946 Judging from the decor... 412 00:19:58,114 --> 00:20:01,533 ...I'm guessing Spelvin's got one of those kick-ass Japanese soaking tubs. 413 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:05,120 What? After all that, you wanna take a bath? 414 00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:07,914 Do you not? 32164

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