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1
00:00:04,422 --> 00:00:06,841
All aboard, for safety and adventure!
2
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,385
On the rigid airship Excelsior...
3
00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,888
...where the pampered
luxury of a cruise ship...
4
00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:14,557
...meets the smoothness
of modern air travel.
5
00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:18,561
Yes, when you fly Excelsior,
you're flying in style!
6
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,230
- And safety!
- Safety?
7
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:23,233
But isn't hydrogen flammable?
And how, Timmy!
8
00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,610
That's why Excelsior is filled with safe...
9
00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:29,239
...natural helium.
Why, it's actually flame-retardant!
10
00:00:29,405 --> 00:00:31,115
Neat!
And safe!
11
00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:34,452
So, whether you're enjoying
Excelsior's majestic vistas...
12
00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:37,580
...duty-free shopping,
high-stakes baccarat...
13
00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:39,457
...dancing with your lovely wife...
14
00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:42,752
...or even a cigar after
a French gourmet dinner...
15
00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:46,422
...you'll be enjoying them in style.
And safety!
16
00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:49,634
- All aboard Excelsior!
- God.
17
00:00:49,801 --> 00:00:51,302
Who'd wanna put a bomb on that?
18
00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:53,596
That's what we're hoping
ISIS can find out.
19
00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:57,809
No, why bother? Some broad gets on there
with a staticky sweater, and boom, it's:
20
00:00:57,976 --> 00:01:00,645
"Oh, the humanity!"
21
00:01:00,812 --> 00:01:02,313
No, no, that...
- Sterling.
22
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,982
Were you watching some other
commercial just now?
23
00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,817
It's a rigid airship.
24
00:01:05,984 --> 00:01:09,320
Filled with helium.
- Which is non-flammable! Dumb-ass.
25
00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:12,240
I thought our promotional video
covered that fairly well.
26
00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,993
Oh, and how. Sterling, it's totally safe.
27
00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:17,078
Well, except for the bomb threat.
28
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:18,580
No, not to worry, dear.
29
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,749
ISIS won't let terrorists
blow up your lovely blimp.
30
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:24,586
Rigid airship.
- My top two agents will be on board.
31
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:27,505
Nope!
- And I will oversee the operation...
32
00:01:27,672 --> 00:01:31,926
...personally from what I assume
will be first-class accommodations.
33
00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:34,012
Oh, actually we are fully booked.
34
00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:36,973
Well, if you think, oh, I don't know...
35
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:41,185
...this "Trudy Beekman" person
can thwart a major terror plot.
36
00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:43,354
I suppose we could bump Mrs. Beekman.
37
00:01:43,521 --> 00:01:46,024
Bump me, I'm not going.
- If these two share a cabin.
38
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,651
Nope!
- Not going to let the terrorists win!
39
00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:51,112
We'll pose as husband and wife!
- Nope!
40
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:54,157
Cyril would totally freak.
Malory, let me stay with you.
41
00:01:54,324 --> 00:01:56,034
We'll do the whole
Oprah-Gayle thing.
42
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,870
Nope! I need a stateroom to myself...
43
00:01:59,037 --> 00:02:03,166
...in case I have a gentleman caller.
- Um...
44
00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:05,001
Mother, please.
- Please...
45
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:07,462
...do not make me do this.
- But Lana...
46
00:02:07,629 --> 00:02:09,964
...think of the innocent
lives you'll be saving.
47
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:13,009
And also the fact
that this is a direct order.
48
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:15,053
At least tell me
it's separate beds.
49
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,347
- Um... Hmm.
- Ugh.
50
00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:19,057
Lana.
51
00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:20,767
Lana.
52
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,852
Lana!
53
00:02:23,019 --> 00:02:24,687
Lana!
- What?
54
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,066
Danger zone!
55
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:04,060
Terrible, awful, just gut-wrenchingly
bad feeling about this.
56
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:06,896
Baby, I really need you
to trust me. Okay, now...
57
00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:09,941
- ...is the cabin small? Yes.
- And yet...
58
00:03:10,108 --> 00:03:13,444
...surprising amount of storage.
- Ugh. And I'll hardly be in here, okay?
59
00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:16,739
I've got a terrorist to find,
and I doubt he's hiding under...
60
00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,908
What's basically a twin bed.
- Archer.
61
00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:22,495
Since it's all drawers under here,
because look how tiny this room is!
62
00:03:22,662 --> 00:03:26,582
Oh, my God, it's like a broom closet.
- And yet, a surprising amount of storage.
63
00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:28,710
Oh, shut up, and Cyril?
64
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,879
Very eager to know why you're still here.
- He was just...
65
00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:35,425
Just helping Lana get settled.
- Trust me, Cyril. She already settled.
66
00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,135
Hey!
- Hey!
67
00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:39,429
Disembark, Cyril. We're about to...
68
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:42,181
...launch, or whatever blimps do.
69
00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:45,059
Yeah, what does a blimp do, Pam?
70
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,103
Uh... Kick your skinny ass?
71
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,772
Now come on, we gotta
get off this thing before...
72
00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:53,317
Relax! God, we've got half an hour.
73
00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:57,613
Oh. Well then,
make me a double Campari and, uh...
74
00:03:58,322 --> 00:03:59,782
I guess vodka?
75
00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:03,661
We don't normally drink on the bridge.
- Well, I don't normally fly...
76
00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:05,621
...on the Hindenburg 2.0.
- It's not...
77
00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:08,791
Cyril doesn't normally storm off
without even kissing me goodbye!
78
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,960
We're all out of our comfort zone.
79
00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:14,505
Not me, my stateroom is gorgeous.
- Oh.
80
00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:18,968
That, what's her name, Beekman?
I bet she's just sick she got bumped.
81
00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:21,179
Yes, she literally vomited from anger.
82
00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,890
So if we could just focus
on the bomb threat?
83
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,183
How about crew members?
84
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,685
Anyone who might be disgruntled?
- Um...
85
00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:32,356
That's Lieutenant Krauss.
86
00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:35,193
He and I were both up for
command of the Excelsior, but...
87
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,695
You got it.
Leaving him with motive.
88
00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:39,781
Release the mooring cable!
89
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,366
Come on!
It's not Larry Luftwaffe, that's...
90
00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,202
Oopsie. Ha-ha-ha.
91
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:45,953
...Ugh, way too obvious.
92
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,790
Goddamn it! We're moving!
93
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,542
I know!
- What happened to half an hour?
94
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,336
- What? I lied!
95
00:04:53,503 --> 00:04:55,546
Why the hell are you two still here?
96
00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:59,634
Because I knew you'd be here, because
you don't trust Lana with Mr. Archer.
97
00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:01,344
No! No, now that is...
98
00:05:01,511 --> 00:05:03,554
- So ironic, Cyril!
- Ugh.
99
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:05,723
- Especially in light of recent...
- No.
100
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:10,394
...rug-burny events.
- Oh, my God!
101
00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:11,854
You two banged?
102
00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:15,817
I... Uh... See, here's the thing...
103
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:19,862
Fruit basket!
- Wow. You are just a dog in a manger.
104
00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:21,948
I don't know
what that means, Pam.
105
00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:24,909
I didn't grow up on a cheese farm.
- Oh, for the...
106
00:05:25,076 --> 00:05:27,411
It's called a dairy.
107
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:30,248
Even a hint of a problem
on our maiden voyage...
108
00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,208
...would kill
Excelsior's stock price.
109
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,627
So, Lana, canvas the passengers
and crew...
110
00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:37,922
...learn what you can about Krauss...
- But please, be discreet!
111
00:05:38,089 --> 00:05:41,300
Hey, good advice!
Which maybe I'll just sort of fold in...
112
00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:44,095
...with my 12 years of experience
as a covert operative.
113
00:05:44,262 --> 00:05:46,848
Don't be snotty.
And Sterling, if there is a bomb...
114
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,184
Captain, dear, where would
it do the most damage?
115
00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:52,854
Probably in...
- This new place called anywhere?
116
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,106
This whole thing's a bomb. Jesus!
- It's not...
117
00:05:55,273 --> 00:05:57,692
Wanna blow us all to shit, Sherlock?
- Ow!
118
00:05:57,859 --> 00:05:59,443
Sterling!
- For the last time...
119
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:03,281
...the Excelsior is filled
with non-flammable helium!
120
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,616
Although this is
a non-smoking area, sir.
121
00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,702
Damn it, he's a prospective investor!
122
00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:11,372
Not after that, I bet. And forget
about Krauss. There's your bomber.
123
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:12,707
Who? What?
124
00:06:12,874 --> 00:06:14,834
That guy. Beardsley McTurbanhead.
125
00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:18,629
You idiot. That's Sandu Singh,
the billionaire investor!
126
00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:20,840
He's a Sikh!
- Oh, so if he's not a Muslim...
127
00:06:21,007 --> 00:06:22,133
...he just gets a pass?
128
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:24,719
That's called profiling,
Mother, and I don't do it.
129
00:06:24,886 --> 00:06:27,805
Singh is Excelsior's majority shareholder.
- So?
130
00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:31,475
If anything went wrong on this flight,
he'd lose millions.
131
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:33,102
It's a perfect cover.
- Sterling.
132
00:06:33,269 --> 00:06:34,770
Just look for the stupid bomb.
133
00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:37,940
Relax. What do we have, like,
four hours before we get to London?
134
00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:41,360
Sterling, are you joking?
- The crossing takes 24 hours.
135
00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,487
Are you joking? What?
- Rigid airships...
136
00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,656
...combine the pampering
of a cruise ship...
137
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:49,243
...with the speed of...
- Some other, slightly faster ship?
138
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:52,121
Uh, hello, airplanes? Yeah, it's blimps.
139
00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:54,498
You win, bye! Oh, God.
140
00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:58,920
I hope you didn't invest in this.
- It'll be fine, though.
141
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,547
As long as nothing
goes wrong on this flight.
142
00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:04,675
Oh, captain, my captain...
143
00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:08,346
...with ISIS on board,
what could possibly go wrong?
144
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:09,555
Pick one!
145
00:07:09,722 --> 00:07:13,517
Either A, I tell Lana what happened
on that scratchy green office rug...
146
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,603
...or two, you get inside me.
147
00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:18,189
Or C, maybe I just jam this mop...
148
00:07:18,356 --> 00:07:20,149
...into the engine and kill all of us.
149
00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:22,777
I don't think that's how blimps work.
- Darn, right.
150
00:07:22,944 --> 00:07:24,695
We'd just sort of float around.
151
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,823
Stupid naturally safe helium!
152
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:30,284
But I am liking the jamming imagery.
153
00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:34,205
And the killing.
- And are you just gonna sit there?
154
00:07:34,372 --> 00:07:36,290
Yeah, until she tags me in!
155
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,960
What?
- I'm kidding!
156
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,212
My back's all messed up.
157
00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:46,842
So you're ruining Cyril's life because...
158
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:51,013
...in your "dream the impossible dream"
world, it'll make Mr. Archer jealous?
159
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:54,684
Oh, Pamela. You read me like a poem.
160
00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:58,854
Yeah? What's the poem gonna be about
when Cyril snaps and murders you?
161
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:02,191
I don't know. World's gushiest orgasm?
162
00:08:02,358 --> 00:08:05,695
Can you just get out of the way!
163
00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,530
What, are you gonna shoot me again?
- Yes!
164
00:08:07,697 --> 00:08:09,740
Oh. Well, then hang on.
165
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:13,119
Cyril's already freaked out enough
about us sharing this shoebox...
166
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,871
...without you air-drying your
unkempt bush.
167
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,749
Unkempt bush? You're one to talk.
168
00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:23,879
Ah. My vulva is smoother
than a veal cutlet.
169
00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:25,715
With terrible timing.
- Oh, really.
170
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,842
Baby...
- Did I interrupt something?
171
00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:30,344
Oh... Rehearsal with your
Commodores tribute band?
172
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,556
Archer! Cyril, what are you doing here?
173
00:08:33,723 --> 00:08:35,933
I wanted to tell you
something very important...
174
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:40,271
...but apparently you're too busy
showing off your vealy vulva!
175
00:08:40,438 --> 00:08:44,275
Cyril! You know, your whole
trust thing, and I've tried to, okay?
176
00:08:44,442 --> 00:08:46,569
Okay, you know what?
We are on a break!
177
00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:47,778
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah!
178
00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:50,614
Well, that's fine by me.
- Cyril, wait.
179
00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:52,283
- No running!
- Shut up.
180
00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:54,890
Oh, my God, what have I...?
- What're you doing? Go after him!
181
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:57,705
Oh. You think I should?
- Yes!
182
00:08:57,872 --> 00:08:59,373
We're almost out of fruit.
183
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,835
Which is why I find it strange
that you're so incredibly calm.
184
00:09:03,002 --> 00:09:06,922
Well, that seaweed wrap
just slurps out the stress.
185
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:10,801
Can't wait to tell
Trudy Beekman all about it.
186
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,387
If, um, we ever meet.
187
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,931
What about you? Anything on Krauss?
- No. Shut up.
188
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,934
Have you seen Cyril?
- What? Why would I have?
189
00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,770
And what the hell is he doing?
- Hey!
190
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,272
What'd I tell you, huh? Huh?
- OW! Uhn!
191
00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:25,274
There! Go buy a nicotine patch!
192
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:32,740
Gentlemen.
- No, no, no, what happened to discretion?
193
00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:36,077
What happened to that bartender?
- Right? Guy sees an empty glass...
194
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,246
...and all of a sudden he's Judge Crater.
- Oh, for God's sake!
195
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,123
Nigel, some chips for mister...?
196
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,793
Archer. Ha. Sterling Archer.
197
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:46,670
The minimum bet is ten thousand, sir.
Dollars.
198
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:49,924
I stuffed all my money
in that guy's mouth, because...
199
00:09:50,091 --> 00:09:53,385
Well, perhaps we could play
for something much more interesting.
200
00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:56,847
Yeah, because that was seriously, like,
all the cash I had on me, so.
201
00:09:57,014 --> 00:10:01,519
So if I win, I spend a night of
passion with your exquisite wife.
202
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:05,397
My wi...? Oh, yes, my wife, of course.
- Oh!
203
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:08,192
Yeah, that's a deal! But if I win...
204
00:10:08,359 --> 00:10:11,987
...you tell me where the bomb... What?
- Baccarat! Mr. Singh wins.
205
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:15,282
Wait, wait, wait, we were going?
- The von Zeppelin suite.
206
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,327
I shall expect her within the hour.
207
00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:21,205
She's not gonna be happy about that.
Um...
208
00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:23,207
What, are you mostly paid in tips?
209
00:10:23,374 --> 00:10:26,001
Almost entirely, sir.
- Heh.
210
00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:28,963
Ahem. Mm-hm.
211
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:31,006
Well, whose fault is that?
212
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:33,217
Prancing around in
your Fiacci knockoffs...
213
00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:35,970
...blathering about your vulva.
- Hey, first of all...
214
00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:39,890
I'm just saying! You're driving
Cyril straight toward another woman.
215
00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:42,393
Cyril? With another woman?
216
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,979
Malory, seriously. Look at me.
217
00:10:45,146 --> 00:10:47,231
Look at me! Look at and choke me!
218
00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:51,443
Oh, yes, yes! Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God, what am I doing?
219
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,988
Ruining your life, you idiot.
- Ha-ha-ha.
220
00:10:54,155 --> 00:10:56,740
And making it hard to drop a deuce.
221
00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,619
Uh... I'm sorry, what?
- You. Now. Led Zeppelin suite.
222
00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,538
You have no proof
Singh's the bomber.
223
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,165
He hinted...
- That's profiling.
224
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,458
...that the proof was in his cabin!
- Really?
225
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,752
Yes! So go down there and find it...
226
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:12,882
...while I go find the bomb.
- Ugh. Bombs, bombers, vulvas.
227
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:15,384
- You people are just ruining my trip.
- Uh...
228
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,386
Well, don't stand here
gaping at me!
229
00:11:17,553 --> 00:11:19,889
Go thwart something!
230
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,228
No running!
- Zip it, Zipperface!
231
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:30,774
Oh. Kidding, sorry. Hey, have you
seen that nerdy fruit-basket steward?
232
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,860
Check the Kaiser Wilhelm suite.
233
00:11:33,027 --> 00:11:36,113
You really need new names on...
Hey, what were you doing in there?
234
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,616
Things for
authorized personnel only!
235
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:41,035
So don't go in there.
It's verboten!
236
00:11:41,202 --> 00:11:44,371
Ah. Okay. Probably merits a follow-up.
237
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,058
- Archer?
- Cyril? What're you...?
238
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,876
Archer, I need your help!
I think I'm losing it here, man!
239
00:11:49,043 --> 00:11:52,379
What gave it away, my mother's...?
Why are you wearing my mother's robe?
240
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,632
I can explain.
- I don't think I want you to.
241
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:58,219
See, it all started when you and Lana...
- Cyril! You should tell her this.
242
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:02,139
I tried! But you were naked and
it was all vulva this, and vulva that.
243
00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:07,144
Yeah, and as you're standing here, dick and
or balls caressed by my mother's robe, ugh...
244
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:09,813
...Lana is waiting for you.
- Really? Where?
245
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:12,149
The Led Zeppelin suite.
246
00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:16,028
There's a von Zeppelin suite.
- Which I'm sure is what I meant. So, go!
247
00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:19,073
Thanks, Archer! You're the best!
- I know.
248
00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:25,663
So yes, the bottom line is that
I was unfaithful to you.
249
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:29,750
Two... Well, three times, I guess,
if a dry-humpy choker counts.
250
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,711
And if you can't see
it in your heart to forgive me...
251
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:35,798
...I will forgive you.
Because that's what love is, Lana.
252
00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,341
It's forgivey.
253
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:40,844
Which is not a word. Come on, Figgis!
All right, here we go.
254
00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:46,016
Oh, why?
- Hello!
255
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:50,396
So, that's your idea of a break, huh?
- Cyril! It's not what it looks like!
256
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:53,023
Well, then, what is it?
257
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:57,444
- Okay, so Cyril got in over his head.
- Jesus, God, did he kill her?
258
00:12:57,611 --> 00:13:00,698
No, no, no, he ran from her!
To go confess to Lana...
259
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:04,368
...but so then this one starts freaking out,
and long story short...
260
00:13:04,535 --> 00:13:07,329
...I kind of had to drown her in the tub.
- So you killed her?
261
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,375
Apparently not, so...
262
00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:13,210
- ...good news.
- Shut up, Pam.
263
00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,838
Did Cyril run by here
crying in a woman's bathrobe?
264
00:13:16,005 --> 00:13:19,216
Well, it wouldn't surprise me.
You're driving him stark raving mad.
265
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:21,468
What'd I do?
- What'd you do?
266
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,887
Running around all up
and down this stupid blimp.
267
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,724
Against the rules.
- Half-naked, tits bouncing around...
268
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:30,185
...like you're at a rodeo, then going back
to some billionaire's suite?
269
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:36,233
I was trying to stop a bomb plot.
- Oh, my God, there is no bomb!
270
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,069
More good news.
- And just how do you know that?
271
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:40,529
Ugh.
272
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:43,324
Because I made the bomb threat!
273
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:47,036
Trudy Beekman booked the very last
ticket on this flight, so it was all:
274
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:49,705
"Meh, meh, meh. I'm Trudy Beekman.
275
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:54,752
I'm on the co-op board
and I'm going on a blimp! Meh!"
276
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:59,089
So, yes, I made a phony bomb threat.
- Good for you.
277
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:01,008
And yet you lecture me.
Lovely.
278
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:05,104
- Hello?
- So, what would you say if I told you...
279
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,097
...that your mother made
a phony bomb threat...
280
00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:10,851
...just to get a free ride on a blimp?
- I'd say that's fairly classic her.
281
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,145
Oh, shut up.
- And then I'd just sort of laugh...
282
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:16,190
...at the, uh...
The whatchamacallit.
283
00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:18,984
Irony.
284
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,657
There's actually a bomb on board?
Archer?
285
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,578
Archer? Oh, what the hell?
Where the **** are you going?
286
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:33,123
Gotta get my turtleneck.
I'm not defusing a bomb in this!
287
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,625
- No running!
- Shut up!
288
00:14:34,792 --> 00:14:37,836
Oh, and Lana, maybe you ought to
grab the Kraut. He's the bomber.
289
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,257
- What is this?
- You know what it is, Fritz!
290
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:45,094
So shut your schnitzel-hole and disarm it.
- Oh.
291
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,472
I get it. The German guy
mit a scar...
292
00:14:48,639 --> 00:14:52,309
...must be the bad guy.
Well, you know how I got this scar?
293
00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:55,312
Saving a Jewish girl
from a gang of skinheads.
294
00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:59,608
Oh, Jesus.
- Yeah! And so Krauss gets a curb party.
295
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:02,069
Wow. Now I feel like an asshole.
- Your words.
296
00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:04,154
But could you be a lamb
and disarm it anyway?
297
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:05,364
Yeah, probably.
298
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,785
Okay, got the turtleneck
and my wire cutters. Now where are we?
299
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:12,996
We're at you just shot the guy
who could disarm the bomb, jackass!
300
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,623
What...? I didn't shoot him!
301
00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:18,001
You think I'd bring a gun on this firetrap?
- Then who did it?
302
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,796
- I did!
- Captain Lammers!
303
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,256
Nice read, Velma.
304
00:15:22,423 --> 00:15:25,092
"Keep your 401 K in
company stock," they said.
305
00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:27,344
"The price can only go up," they said!
306
00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:30,347
Well, guess what!
- Um, it didn't?
307
00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:33,100
Who the hell wants
a two-day blimp ride to London?
308
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:36,937
Which is our only route!
- Okay, so it's a niche market, but...
309
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,606
Blowing it up will send
the stock price down to zero.
310
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,525
Yeah, that's why I shorted it!
311
00:15:41,692 --> 00:15:43,986
But what about all the other employees?
- Um...
312
00:15:44,153 --> 00:15:48,532
See? It's that kind of selfish shit...
- Lana, no! You'll kill us all!
313
00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:53,036
For the last time, you idiot!
It's not hydrogen...
314
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,538
...it's helium!
315
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:58,792
And what about that are
you still not getting, exactly?
316
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,003
Well, obviously
the core concept, Lana!
317
00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:02,713
Sorry, I didn't go to Space Camp.
318
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,339
How about bomb defusal camp?
319
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:07,050
No, actually lacrosse camp. If that helps.
320
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,219
I mean, a lot of those skills
are universal.
321
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:12,139
Shut up. Agent Gillette, please.
- Oh, great.
322
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,892
Come on people, talk to me!
323
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:17,186
What are we thinking? What are we doing?
324
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:20,606
What are we wearing?
- My crisis vest. Mr. Fatface.
325
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:23,859
Lana? Hey, girl, are you there?
- Yeah, I'm... Hey, can you see> me?
326
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:27,654
I see your knockoff Fiacci drawers.
- Ha-ha. You are such a bitch.
327
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,198
Hey, Ray.
- Ugh.
328
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,408
- Let's see that ignition, girl.
- You got it?
329
00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:35,037
East German crap,
probably a GK-31 or 32.
330
00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:38,415
So on the side of the timer,
there should be a serial number.
331
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:40,667
That'll tell me which wire
y'all need to cut.
332
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,586
- Got it?- Yeah, I see it! Ready?
333
00:16:42,753 --> 00:16:46,089
Since first call.
- Nine, three, four...
334
00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:50,260
...T, X, S.
- T-X-X? TWO X's?
335
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,387
X-S! Like INXS!
336
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:55,933
N-X-X? Jesus, use
the NATO phonetic alphabet!
337
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,435
- The what? Duh.- Christ on sale, is it S?
338
00:16:58,602 --> 00:17:00,270
Sierra! Ray...
339
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:04,024
...it's niner three four,
Tango, X-ray, Sierra!
340
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:07,778
Thank you, doll! Now there should
be a dash, followed by two letters.
341
00:17:07,945 --> 00:17:10,280
Okay.
- Okay, so now I want you to cut...
342
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,699
...the blue and white wire.
343
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,868
Which one? There's two of those.
- No...
344
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,537
One's blue with a white stripe...
345
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,789
...and the other's white
with a blue stripe.
346
00:17:18,956 --> 00:17:21,458
Yeah, and both are identical!
- No! They're not!
347
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:24,711
Ray? Hon? They're really similar.
348
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,047
One's a teeny bit... Blue, honey.
349
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,341
Which one?
- I guess that one, maybe?
350
00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:32,803
So wait, which one do I cut?
- The teeny bit... Blue one!
351
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,304
- Okay!
- O-K?
352
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:35,681
Wait! Stop!
- What?
353
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:38,267
You said the letters
after the dash were Oscar Kilo!
354
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,476
Who?
- What?
355
00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:43,146
O-K! Oscar Kilo!
- No, "Okay!" Like:
356
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,482
"Okay, now I'm gonna
tell you what they are!"
357
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:47,901
Then you didn't!
- I thought we skipped that part!
358
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,654
Skipped a step in disarming a bomb?
- Which I thought...
359
00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:52,531
...was pretty irresponsible
on your part.
360
00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:55,018
Why do you always do this?
- Why do you always not shut up?
361
00:17:56,368 --> 00:17:58,328
Stop.
- On the radio...
362
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,581
...when we answer
in the affirmative...
363
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,791
...we say, "Roger."
364
00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:05,919
Roger. Sorry. Ray.
- Now. In the serial number...
365
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,964
...what are the two letters
following the dash?
366
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,845
- You ready?- Goddamn it, Archer!
367
00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:16,680
First letter is B.
- Bravo.
368
00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:18,307
Thanks, second letter is N.
369
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:19,683
M as in Mike, or N as...
370
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:22,144
As in Nancy! God, you of all people.
- What?
371
00:18:22,311 --> 00:18:23,645
- Archer!
- Me of all people?
372
00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:25,689
Nothing.
- Ray, hon.
373
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:27,441
Okay.
- Oh, so you can say okay?
374
00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:29,192
Oh, my God.
- Ray, can I shoot him?
375
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:30,527
In about five seconds, honey.
376
00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,697
Lana, be careful! Jesus, the helium!
377
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:36,408
Right after he cuts
the solid green wire.
378
00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:38,869
- The green color is solid, or...?
- Roger.
379
00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:42,122
Oh. Roger. Cutting the green wire.
380
00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:45,334
- Archer!
- Jesus, God! What?
381
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,210
That's how annoying you are.
382
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:50,213
Your mom's annoying! How about that?
- Let's go there.
383
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,882
Let's go here! Where Archer...
384
00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:54,051
...shut up and cut
the goddamn wire already!
385
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,219
You shut up and I'm doing it! God!
386
00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,680
- Oh, my... Ray!
- What's going on?
387
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:01,224
The timer sped up!
- Did you cut the green one?
388
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,476
Yes! Roger!
389
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:04,061
Steven! Whoever!
- Ray!
390
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,563
- What were the last two letters?
- B.
391
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,607
As in butt hole.
- What do we do here?
392
00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:10,859
And M! As in Mancy!
393
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:12,235
What?
394
00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:17,741
M as in what?
- Mancy! What'd you think I said?
395
00:19:17,908 --> 00:19:19,743
- Nancy! You idiot!
- Oh, yeah.
396
00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:22,621
I can see how...
Then I was like "You of all... "
397
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,918
Exact! Same! Spot!
- Ray?
398
00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:29,336
Ray? Tell me what to do!
399
00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:32,255
So do you all have parachutes?
400
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:35,425
- No!
- That would be, you know, problem solved.
401
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,260
Ray!
- I don't know.
402
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:39,262
Push it off with your big-ass hands.
403
00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:43,225
- Good luck, honey.
- It's too heavy!
404
00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:45,769
Archer?
- Aah! Aah! Aah!
405
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:49,731
I cannot do this alone!
- You're not alone!
406
00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:52,192
Baby! You came back to me!
407
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:55,779
Well, I really... Lana, there's
a lot you and I need to talk about.
408
00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:57,906
And let's do that.
Right after we shove...
409
00:19:58,073 --> 00:20:01,410
...this huge bomb off the blimp!
- Okay, but then we seriously need to...
410
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,662
Cyril!
- Sorry, here we go.
411
00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:09,418
- Lana! We're not gonna make it!
- Yes, we are, Cyril!
412
00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,753
We are gonna make it.
413
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:16,216
Ha. Oh, my God! Lana, we made it!
- Oh.
414
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,552
Hooray for metaphors.
415
00:20:18,719 --> 00:20:20,929
I told you. Ha-ha.
416
00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:22,973
Okay, now then.
417
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:25,058
What did you want to talk about?
- Um...
418
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,894
Well, uh, a lot of stuff, really.
419
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,606
Starting with the fact
we just bombed Ireland.
420
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:34,735
Um... Pretty sure that's Wales.
34966
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