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Zulu
(whistling sprightly tune)
Starring Andy Griffith...
with Ronny Howard.
Also sfamâng Don Knotrs.
Otis Campbell, âhe charge against you
is violation of Ordinance 502:
Being intoxicated in a public place.
Yeah.
How do you plead, guilty?
Yeah.
Otis, come back here.
Now, the ïŹne is two dollars or 24 hours.
Now, what'll R be?
Andy. you know I always take the 24 hours.
I wouldnât waste two dollars on something
that didn't have a cork in it.
All right, 24 hours.
(gavel pounds)
Hi, Paw.
Oh. hi, Ope.
Hi, Otis.
| see you got a snootful again.
Opie, I don't like to hear you use words like that.
What words, Paw?
"Snoottul."
You donât even know what it means.
Sure, I do, Paw.
It's what Otis does
that makes him walk in here crooked every week.
Well, I guess we'll have to let it go at that.
(grunts)
Now. whereâd we leave off yesterday?
Beauty dreamed that the Beast was dying
and she rushed back to the palace.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And sure enough, there he was--
a-Iayinâ there and a-breathinâ his last.
And Beauty, forgettin' his ugliness
tlung herself at him, a»weepin' and aâsobbinâ.
Anâanâand the old ugly Beast looked up at her
with his small, little, ugly eyes
and smiled a small, sad. ugly smile.
And Beauty cried, "You must not die.
"You must live to be my husband.
"I thought it was triendship that I felt,
but now I know it was love."
And she covered her eyes and wept forjoy,
and-and when she looked up again,
the Beast was gone!
And in his place was a handsome, young prinoeâ
the prince of her dreams.
And Beauty says, Beauty says,
'Where is my Beast?
I love only him."
See, by now she was so used to this mess
that she couldnât stand good looks,
The prince says, "I am the Beast.
"I had to remain one
until a beautiful, young girl would promise to many me."
He says, "You alone. dearest Beauty,
judged me not for my looks, but for my heart,"
And he throwed his arms around her neck
and kissed her ïŹght on the face,
And they lived happily ever after,
Laughinâ and gigglinâ âtil the end of their days,
And thatâs all the storytelling for the day.
Tomorrow, tomorrow. Iâll tell you
the story of King Arthur
and the Knights of the Round Table.
Oh, boy!
Aha, I thought thatâd set pretty good,
(chuckles)
Okay,
Paw, is there anything I can do to help you today?
Well, let's see.
I know something you can do.
How about posting some of these new wanted posters?
Just come in today.
Sure, Paw.
Eh,
ANDY: Oh, hi, Aunt Bee.
Hi, Andy.
Opie, you should be home doing your homework
instead of that.
Aunt Bee's got a point there.
How about it?
We haven't got any homework today, Paw,
How come?
We kept asking questions
right up till the bell rang,
and the teacher didn't have time
to give us any homework.
(chuckles): Hey, that's pretty slick,
Yeah, we beat the rap.
Young man, what kind of language is that?
English.
BARN EY: Hi, everybody,
Oh, hi, Barn.
Hi, Barney.
-How are you? -Hi, Barney.
What do you say, Ope?
Oh, I see you got your gun on.
You ready?
Okay, now, just a second,
Okay. Draw!
-Powl Pow! Pow! Pow! -Powl Pow! Pow! Pow!
That's pretty good.
Pretty good, but you still got that,
that little hesitation, you know-- thaâthat tug,
See, she's got to come out real clean.
One smooth, continuous action.
See how baby come out of her cradle there?
Just keep practicing, son.
You'll be able to do that, too, someday.
Yes, Opie, that's right.
You just keep practicing,
Whatâs the next course. strangling?
(chuckling)
Opie, did you tell your father what happened in school today?
|-|... Idon't think so.
AUNT BEE: I had a call
trom the principal this afternoon.
The principal?!
Aunt Bee, if we're going, letâs go.
Well, wa't, wait a minute, youngâun,
What is it, Aunt Bee?
Oh, it's not at all surprising.
What is it?
During lunch period
your son handcuffed Ralph Baker
to the ïŹagpole,
You did what?
Well, we were playing
cops and robbers,
and he resisted arrest.
ANDY: Where'd you get the handcuffs?
(whistling)
Only one place you could have got 'em-- that's here.
And I know I didn't give them to you,
and I know Barney, he...
Barney?
Huh?
Did you?
Di-did | what?
Did you give them to him?
Give what to who?
Did you give Opie the handcuffs?
(clears throat): Well, uh... let me see, now.
lt-it's hard for me to remember, you know.
-W-weâve been on such a busy schedule, l.,. -Barney.
Oh, yeah, I remember now,
|-|-|t was those old ones,
the rusty ones, the ones we donât use anymore and, uh...
Doggone it, Opel
I told you not to use them on real people.
Barney, I'm surprised at you.
And you, too, Opie,
Oh, are you really? Well, I'd think
you wouldn't be at all surprised.
-Ma'am? -We||, his head
is always being ïŹlled with criminals and sherifïŹn'.
I wouldn't be surprised if at Opie's next birthday party
he shoots out the candles!
But Aunt Bee, keeping him out of my office entirelyâ
ainât that being a little strict?
Well, I know I haven't said anything,
but I've been getting more and more concemed
about Opie spending all that time at the jail.
Well, heâs a well-behaved young'un,
Andy, haven't you noticed
the language he's picking up?
All of his interests are centered
on sheriffin' and criminals.
Well, I wouldn't say that.
Andy. you don't want the principal calling
every other day, do you?
Well, no.
Thatjail is just not the best influence
tor a young'un,
Well...
It's for the boys own good, Andy.
Well, M will admit that-that a home
is a lot more proper environment
than a jail is...
(sighs)
Well... all right, Aunt Bee,
I'll... Iâll go up and have a talk with him.
Good.
Uh... maybe. uh, maybe once in a while?
Now, Andy...
Well...
Hi, son.
Hi, Paw.
All ready for bed, I see,
Yep. I've already said my prayers.
Good.
| just wanted to come up
and have a little talk with you.
What about, Paw?
Well, it's, itâs about you and me,
Mostly, mostly you.
Is it something good, Paw?
Well, yeah, it's, it's for your good,
Uh-oh.
What's the matter?
Every time grown-ups think of something for your good,
it turns out to be not so good.
Well, in this case, I'd say that don't apply,
Then what is it?
Well, uh...
pretty good book?
Yep.
Good.
You, uh, want a drink of water?
Uh-uh.
Well, here she goesâ
Paw... why don't you think about
what you want to talk about,
then you could tell me tomorrow when I come by the jail?
Well, uh, that's, that's what I wanted to talk to you aboutâ
you not coming by the jail.
What?!
That's right.
Now, aâajail is no place for a little boy
to be hanging around,
and, and I shouldâve realized that a long time ago.
Are you trying to get rid of me, Paw?
Oh, no, no, I'm, I'm not trying to get rid of you,
I just, I just want you to be a normal, happy little boy.
I'm happy now.
Well, now youâll be happier.
Now, tomorrow after school
I don't want you to stop by the jail,
I want you to come straight home and run and play
lfl have a mind to, can I come down to the jail?
No.
Now, take my word for it, youâll be happy.
Believe me.
Okay, Paw, I'll be happy.
Okay,
But it ain't gonna be much fun,
Well, sheâs about 3:00.
Yeah, just about,
(sighs)
Opie'll be getting out of school about now.
Yeah.
Won't be coming here, though.
No, no...
BARNEY: It's a good thing, though,
AN DY: For the best.
Oh, it's for the best, all right,
You bet.
Yeah, you can say that again.
Say what?
That it's for the best.
Oh, it's for the best.
Andy?
Hmm?
Ddid you ever ïŹgure
that we're really a bad inïŹuence on the boy?
No.
B-but w-when you,
when you think about it, we are.
Oh, yeah, well, there's no gettin' around it.
We're, weâre bad for the boy.
Yeah.
I'm the worst.
I wouldn't saythat.
No. You ain't the worst.
No, but youâre included.
Oh, you're included, all right.
You're bad for the boy,
-We're all bad. -ANDY: Yeah.
Well, she's after 3:00 now.
Yeah. Hmm.
Well...
guess I'll go on patrol,
That's a good idea.
Yeah. Maybe drive by the house,
see how things are.
l-if you run into Opie, give him my regards,
Yeah, I will if-if | see him.
Give him mine, too, Andy,
Right, Otis,
Say, Otis..,
w-would you like me to teach you the fast draw?
What for?
Well, |, I don't know.
| just thought maybe you'd like me
to teach you the fast draw.
Why would I want to know how to do the fast draw?
Well, in case you ever want to break out ofjail,
Don't you have any ambition, for heaven's sakes?
I got ambition.
Well, that's better, Now here.
Now, ïŹrst thing you do is to get yourself
in a crouch position, then you...
Stick 'em up.
This is a jailbreak.
Oh, criminy,
Give me that.
Yeah, you see?
Whatâs the use for me to know
how to do a fast draw?
Even if I wanted to break out ofjail
you wouldnât let me.
Opie, are you going to spend the whole afternoon
dawdling over your milk and cookies?
Thereâs nothing to do.
Well, why donât you
go and play with one of your picture puzzles
or go over to one of your friend's houses, or..,?
I know what you can do.
What?
You can go out and plant two whole rows of spinach.
Spinach?
It'll be very educational,
You'll see how nature performs her wonders.
Why, soon you'll see it grow before your very eyes.
But spinach?
Couldn't | see something else grow up before my very eyes?
Oh, go on, Opie,
I've dug up some ground right by the house,
and all you have to do is put in the seeds.
Hi, Paw.
Well, hi, Ope.
What you doin'?
Plantinâ spinach.
Spinach?
Aunt Bee says it's educational.
Ohâohâoh, yeah, it is, it is,
It's very educational.
Every boy ought to know how to grow spinach.
Well, I guess Iâd better leave you to your cultivating,
Going so soon, Paw?
Well, see, Iâm on patrol.
I'll see you tonight at supper.
I'm glad you're having fun,
Paw, when you drive off,
would you give her a blast on the siren?
Sure thing,
(siren blaring)
One thing I'll say about Otis, he leaves a pretty neat cell.
Well, this is his home away from home,
Yeah.
Hey, Andy, look who's here.
BARNEY: Hi, Ope.
Why don't you come on in?
Sorry about asking him in.
| forgot we was off limits.
Oh, that's all right,
l was gonna tell him the story of King Arthur
and the Knights of the Round Table today,
But... he's got other interesting things to do,
Opie, what are you doing?
I guess I couldnât come in.
Now, son, you know what we all agreed on,
I donât remember agreeing on anything,
Opie, we're just doing what's best for you.
Yes, Paw.
You better run on home.
Aunt Beeâll be a-Iooking for you,
Okay,
Are you sure he isn't there?
It's almost supper time.
Well he-he did come by here, but I sent him right home.
How about the neighbors?
No. No, heâs nowhere around, and I'm getting awfully worn'ed,
Well, n-now, Aunt Bee, don't get panicky.
I'll go, Iâll go out and ïŹnd him.
Right.
You didn't ïŹnd him.
Now, Aunt Bee, just because he's been gone a couple hours,
ainât no use in thinkin' something terrible...
A couple of hours? It's dark out!
He's never been out this late before.
(phone rings)
Hello. Sheriff Taylor speaking,
Oh, uh, hello, Fred.
What can I do for you?
Naw.
And-and and he's all right?
Weâve been looking everywhere for that boy,
How in the world did he get over there?
Huh? Uh-huh.
Well, Iâll be dogged.
Don't that beat all?
Well, well, Fred, y-you just hold on to him
and tight as you know how
and Iâll come over there and get him.
Much obliged, Fred.
Wait till you hear where else he's been.
Tell yourAunt Bee.
Down to the old Johnson mine.
The mine?
He said it caved in.
Oh, Opie!
Now, son, theyâre dangerous places
for you to play around,
Now, you should have known better than that.
Yes, Paw, but I just had to go someplace,
I got tired of watering the spinach,
and I wasnât allowed down at the jail.
Well, that's no excuse.
That was a bad thing you did.
Now, I'm, I'm gonna have to punish you.
You understand why, don't you?
Yes.
l have to teach you not to wander off like that.
You never did do it before.
Get on up to your room.
(clears throat)
Uh, well, just a minute, Opie.
You know, I think I know
why he got in trouble today,
He hasnât been seeing enough of his Paw.
What?
And he should,
especially when his Paw works so nearby and he's so handy,
He can stop by on his way from school,
You want him to come by the jail?
But what about our evil inïŹuence
and the bad environment?
Well, lthink we can do something
about correcting those things.
For instance, a certain deputy sheriff
could stop giving him handcuffs
and teaching him to be a gunïŹghter,
And |-| think thereâs
a few other little corrections we might make,
like Opie could kind of make hisself scarce
on days when Otis is making his weekly visits.
You mean, when he's got a snootful?
Uh... that's a bad choice of words, Opie.
Now, what Otis does in ourjail is rest.
Now, do you understand that,
or do you want to spend the rest of your days plantin' spinach?
Oh, I understand, Paw.
And one other thing.
If I ever catch a certain little boy
handcufïŹn' another little boy to a ïŹagpole,
hell not only be a-plantin' spinach
heâll be a-eatin' it stand in' up.
Yes.
Now I'm going to ïŹx you some supper
before you go to bed.
You must be starved.
Aunt Bee, l...
And wait till you see
what I ïŹxed special for you-- your favoriteâ
apple pie.
Hi, Ope.
Hi, Paw.
Hey, Paw, guess what.
I got another star for being good.
No, you didnât.
Well, I sure am proud of this boy,
Yeah.
Do | get a story, Paw?
You better know you do,
Now, let's see...
One time, a long time ago, over in the old country...
In England.
...thatâs right, over in England,
there-there lived this king, fella na...
fella by the name of King Arthur.
And he had this whole castle
full of brave and valiant knights.
And the bravest one of all was Sir...
Sir Lancelot.
Sir Gawain.
Andy, let's not ïŹll the boy's head
with a lot of wrong information,
Now, the bravest one was Sir Lancelot.
Barney, I keep telling you that Sir Gawain
was the one that did all the brave things.
Now, Andy, Idon't care what you keep telling him,
My mother read me that story maybe a thousand times,
In, in every war-- in every war that King Arthur had--
Sir Gawain was the one that carried the spear, and...
(muttering)
Opie?
Where're you going?
I'm going home.
This place is a bad inïŹuence.
(whistling sprightly tune)
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