All language subtitles for Relative Evil

I've never been so
drunk I couldn't drive.

I've been so drunk,
I couldn't climb stairs.

I've been so drunk,
I couldn't get my fly open,

and instead, I tried to pee
down my leg through the cuff.

But I've always been able
to drive home afterwards.

So I'm pretty cooked,

but it's a freeway.

Who can fuck up a freeway?

I mean, you get on the ramp,
and off you go.

But then the world's
full of assholes.

And sure enough,

about six miles from my home,

I met one.

He was driving north
on the south road,

high-beams on,
screaming towards me.

I swerve left,

and this wing nut swerves right.

We meet at the guardrail.

I end up in a plaster suit,
and this sauced banker bastard

who guzzled down one too many
at his country club social

miraculously drives
ten miles the wrong way

without another car in sight,

like he's looking for me.

Sends me through the windscreen

into the arms
of friendly Officer Waters

and my steppop.

I don't think the prick
even spilled his drink.

I got my fourth D-dub
and a six-month vacation

at Feather Lane
Juvenile Detention Center,

courtesy of the county court.

I think my steppop was looking
for a more permanent solution.

He kept telling my ma
I should be tried as an adult.

Ready?

Yeah.

Yeah, I-I think I am.

It may
look like spring outside,

but Mother Nature is
about to play

the cruelest of all
April Fools' jokes.

It's opening day.

Central Stadium
is already snowed out,

and winter is coming back.

A cold front from the north

mixing with this
high-pressure system

is going to hold
the front above us

for the foreseeable future.

While the rest of the country

can expect
springlike temperatures,

the Great Lakes area is looking
at 8 to 12 inches by midnight

and temperatures
well below freezing.

Skies are already darkening,

and an accumulation of moisture
promises prolonged snow

Snow on opening day.

It's the owners, Benji.

They're afraid of the sun,

so they put stuff in the clouds

so they get their domes.

You misunderstand.

It's...
It's not "if."

That's
"by all means if."

That's not even a question.

It's just I was wondering

if we shouldn't be
discussing when.

You know, I mean
it's his first day home and all.

Today.

Today, you're thinkin'?

You're thinking today.

Today's the day.

Wolves, God's little janitors,

feed on the sick, the weak,

those unwilling or unable...

Wow, this is it.

I just wanted to thank you all,

and I could not
have done it without you.

You all were right there for me.

And if I can do it...

Well, hell, if I can do it...

JJ, time to go.

Is it him?

It can't be him.

It's too early to be him.

No.

It's them.

What?

It's way too goddamn
early for them.

Please, Bull, it's JJ's day.

It's a goddamn freak show
is what it is, Phyllis.

Sis!

Bernie!

It's hard to believe
it's spring, huh?

Was driving bad, Dot?

How are you?

Ducky.

The game on, huh, Bull?

Nah, it's snowed out.

Ah, watching the game
with a nice cold one.

Nice chilly one.

Punch, Ernie? Dot?

You know, Phyllis,
to tell you the truth,

I'd rather have one
of Bull's chilly ones there.

Guava punch...
The guavas are from Vietnam.

With bits of orange...
Ernie!

Yes, sis?

Punch?

Who the fuck
is drinking punch?

I just thought
with JJ coming home

from the rehabilitation center,
it might be nice

to try and offer some
nonalcoholic alternative.

Yes, yes, punch.

I think the boy probably knows

there's such a thing as beer
in this world, Phyllis.

That's not
really the point, Bull.

I wonder what spring
is like in Vietnam.

I don't see the
point in punishing us

'cause the boy's got a problem.

This is some fancy punch,
Phyllis.

I'm not punishing you, Bull,

but for the next
couple of weeks,

Dr. Charlie at the center
urged me

to keep alcoholic beverages
out of the house.

This isn't easy for him.

And whatever we can do
to help...

We could tie him to a stake
in the backyard

is what we could do.

He's been
away six months.

This is not the same child
who left here, Bull.

He was sick,
and now he's healing.

And after the healing
comes repentance,

and after repentance,
maybe, just maybe, forgiveness.

Where'd you read that?

It was in one of the brochures
they sent me.

Well, I'll tell
you what, Phyllis,

I lost a $6,400 Monte Carlo
'cause of that boy,

but I ain't even
going to mention it.

I ain't going to mention
Monte Carlos

or seven years
of my working life

or the fact that the boy
was clinically dead

while driving my car
at 115 miles an hour.

But I'll be goddamned

if I'm going to lose
a $2 sixer of beer as well.

I should check on the cake.

Dot, you want to see the cake?

Sure.

The boy made this bed,

and he damn well
better learn to lie in it.

Don't you have another car

that doesn't say
"Drug Offender" on it?

It says "Second Chance," JJ.

This is the chariot
of second chances.

Beats the hell
out of that police van

that brought you to us,
don't you think?

Or your wheelchair.

Anyway, it's a good snow car.

It's a......

Real road gripper.

Me and Dottie were
talking on the way over, Bull,

and, you know,
we just want you to know,

you know, everything
that you're doing for JJ...

This party, you know,
the punch...

You know, 'cause you get
a little gravy on your shirt,

you don't throw it away.

You send it to the professionals
to get cleaned.

Give it to the pros.

What do you want to bet

that sucker comes back
good as new?

Yes, sir.

Smelling like a rose.

Yep, it's funny.

I remembered the day the boy
cost me my job, you know,

at the post office.

Seeing him there
at 3:00 in the morning.

Driving in my postal truck
up and down the street, yelling,

"The British are coming;
the British are coming."

Police lined up behind him.

It was like the goddamn
fourth of July parade.

Nine years and a pension
right down the drain.

Now I work at Carpet Warehouse,

and yeah,

I could be mad about it,

but you know,
now I just think it's...

funny.

Yep, funny.

I got you the
schedule for the local AA meeting.

It's twice a week.

It's the basement of the Y.

It's with people
like yourself, JJ,

people who are trying
to reassert

their rightful, sober place

in a world wrought
with temptation.

Now, you know you shared
a long winter together

with everyone at the center,

but it's going
to feel like spring.

It feels like...

Well, it feels like rebirth.

I can only stand
around the kitchen

looking at photo albums

for so long...
Ernie.

Now, Dot!

No smoking in my house.

JJ at Little League,
JJ on a pony,

JJ doing whippets
on his 10th birthday party.

Hey!

No smoking in my house.

Okay.

Okay.

He was sick,
and now he's healing.

After the healing
comes repentance,

and after repentance, maybe...

Aw, cut the shit, Ernie.

Bull,

you gotta know when to fold 'em.

Ship's sinking
and the lifeboat's full.

Right now there's room for you,
there's room for Phyllis,

and there's room for Benji.

No more.

It's about responsibility.

Seems to me
you and Ernie managed

to climb your way
aboard my boat too.

Hey,

it's your boy

who cost my Ernie his job.

Aw, Dot, let's not...

Been two
years, Uncle Ernie.

Two years you've been
sticking me,

but let me tell you
who else I got in my lifeboat.

I got Phyllis' own
Perry Mason in one pocket,

acting like he did me
some kind of favor

by getting the boy off
with juvenile detention

and a $15,000 fine.

I got the vice president

of Bloodsuckers, Incorporated,

suing me for everything short

of the drink he spilled
all over himself

during the collision.

And to top it off, I get a bill

from the county charging me
with $1,800 plus man-hours

to fix the fucking guardrail.

I'll fix the fucking guardrail.

My Monte Carlo would make
a good fucking guardrail.

But that's just what I'm saying.

You think you got
a lot of troubles now?

Wait till he kills somebody.

He may as well have
killed Ernie.

Once a proud, determined...

Pensioned, insured...

Government servant.

I had security, Bull.

We all did.

After two divorces, I finally
believed I found my brick house.

I found my third little pig,

and his name was Ernie.

Aw, Dot.

But JJ huffed and he puffed,

and look what's left:
The Carpet Warehouse.

We're too old to be wondering

where our next meal
is coming from, Bull.

My poor little Ernie,

crawling home after
an eight-hour minimum-wage day,

covered with lint.

How many carpet-munching jokes
can one woman endure?

You said
you'd talk to him, Ernie.

Well, we... we did talk.

Yeah, we've been talking

about how supportive you
and Ernie are planning to be.

Now, what are you talking about?

I'm talking about this.

You believe in me, right, Doc?

Oh, it doesn't matter
what I believe, JJ.

Your faith is what's important.

And just remember,

I'm just a phone call away.

And then?

Oh, I've been in and out
of the lives of families

for 20 years, JJ,

and you've got some good people
playing on your side.

It's an insurance policy...

Of JJ.

$75,000.

A life insurance policy
on my boy?

No, I just
had one drawn up.

I think it's important

for us to recognize

that these programs
are not always successful.

I always knew you liked
to pick at corpses, Dot.

Stealing watches
off dead soldiers, huh?

This isn't easy
to talk about, Bull.

I know.

Make yourself a drink.

Come on.
Fix one for Phyllis too.

I'm sure she'd like
to toast her sister-in-law.

This has nothing to do
with Phyllis.

Except that it's her boy
you wanna knock off.

Yeah, well, it's your ass
I'm covering.

It's your family's ass,
in case next time,

the boy ain't so lucky.

Everyone choose
hiding places, okay?

Oh!

JJ turns 18 in a month.

That means for the next 33 days,

you have absolute
power of attorney

over all matters
pertaining to JJ.

Once he turns 18,
his compliance is required,

but for now...

He doesn't have to know.

I know;
I know.

That's right.

It's about responsibility.

Think about Benji.

He's paid enough.

This whole
goddamn family's paid enough.

Yeah.

It's not like
we're out to get the boy.

It's... it's simply...

An investment.

Investment.

Maybe we could drive
around the block a couple times?

Oh, JJ, it's time to go home.

It's time
for the healing to begin.

All right,
all right, 50-50.

$37,500 for you.

$37,500 for me...

And Ernie.

You wouldn't be
rigging the game now,

would you, Dot?

You don't think
I'd deliberately...

I want that boy playing
on an even field.

We're just watching
from the sidelines, right?

This is just about JJ.

Say it!

This is just about JJ.

Now, for the family,

will you please sign
on the fucking dots?

What's the harm?

What's the harm?

What's the harm?

He's here!

Hide, hide!
Everybody hide!

Benji, Benji, hide, okay?

He's here!

Surprise!

JJ, sweetie!

Oh, did you get the magazines?

I didn't know what kind
of magazines to get you.

I wasn't sure
what you like to do,

aside from drugs.

Would you like
some punch, sweetie?

JJ.

Hey, Dot.

You're looking good, fella.

You were looking
like a mummy there earlier,

but now...
Yes, sir, now...

Oh, you remember
Dr. Charlie from the clinic?

Mrs. White,
wonderful to see you again.

Oh, thank you, Doctor.

Oh, this... this is
JJ's father, Bull.

Hi.

Benji

and Ernie.

Yes, yes, a pleasure.

And Dot.

Dot, good to see you again.

You know each other?

Oh, yeah, well,

some of us visited
on visiting day.

Well, it's nice to finally
meet JJ's enablers.

What?

It's a joke.

Mrs. White, I want to thank you
for the magazines.

JJ graciously donated them
to the center.

You said that we should try
to get him interested

in something outdoorsy.

Like smoking pot?

I wish I could
offer you some cake,

but it's kind of on fire.

Um, would you like
a bowl of cereal?

No, no.

It's easy.
Are you sure?

I'm sure.

No, I really just popped in

to deliver the goods.

And with the weather as it is...

You're not the same child
who left here, eh?

One day at a time, JJ.

It just gets easier.

Nice to have met all of you.

Not a drink in six months.

That's inner strength.

That comes from the inside.

Yes, sir.

You must miss it,
though, sweetheart.

It was such
a big part of your life,

all of our lives.

It's... it's okay.

You must think about it, though.

Sure, but it... it's not really
a question anymore.

'Cause it was fun, right?

Fun.

It's okay.

Well, shoot, Dot,

we better be motoring ourselves,

before it gets
too heavy out there.

Weather, huh?
Sure is funny.

It was good
to see you again, JJ.

Thanks.

Yep, bye, sport.

Can't tell you
how good you're looking, huh?

See you, sis.

Thanks for coming, guys.

Now, you be careful, all right?

All right, drive careful.

Did Lizzie call?

Lizzie?

Uh, uh, no, honey,

but Bobby Raven's
been calling all week.

In fact, he was supposed
to be here for the party.

Bobby coming here?

You know,

he seemed real excited
to see you.

I bet.

You started smoking?

Ma, I spent the last six months

detoxing in a ward
with 60 cocaine junkies

and a ping-pong
table.

All right, you got
to understand,

it got a little tense in there.

But I'm a nurse, sweetie.

The magazines weren't enough?

Ma, the magazines were great.

There you go, Phyllis.

We gave the state 15 grand;

they send the boy back
a smokestack.

Now,

As long as we're
clearing things up here,

you might have noticed
a Volkswagen Beetle

parked out there
next to that scrap heap

that says Monte Carlo
on its sides.

I can't begin to tell you

how much I hate that Nazi whore.

I got my gut
hanging over the gearshift,

crunched up like a veal.

And every time
I get in that car,

I think of you.

It's your face I see
in the rearview mirror, JJ.

Can't this wait, Bull?

Tiptoes.

Boy, you're living on tiptoes.

Now, once this little soiree
breaks up,

I suggest
that you tiptoe outside

and shovel a path

so we can get to work
in the morning.

We?

Surprise, sweetie.

Bull... Bull...
Bull managed to get you a job

at the steel mill.

Get you a little pocket money,

a little spending money.

Court money, guardrail money.

Geez, Ma, I got these meetings
I got to go to.

Them's at night, son.

Fortunately, work starts
in the morning.

What time in the morning?

6:00 a.m.

Welcome home, son.

It's for veterans
wounded in battle.

They receive the Purple Heart,
and they get to go home.

Which program was it?

Huh?

Bull says you were on a program.

Which one was it?

No, I was in a program.

It's something that teaches...

You know, like school.

But it's different,

'cause they taught me
not to do something.

Was it successful?

Who've you been
talking to, Benji?

Well, Bull says
that he needs an assurance...

You know, that the program
was successful,

because sometimes it's not.

Bull says he needs an assurance?

From who?

I don't know.

Are you okay, JJ?

Of course I am.

Look, you talk to me
from now on, okay?

Bull doesn't know anything.

'Kay.

Is the driveway shoveled?

Yeah.

It'll get better, honey,
I promise.

Good night, Mom.

Good night.

Come on, Benji.

JJ needs to be alone.

There was this rumor going
around when we were kids

that if you ate a mouthful
of Pop Rocks

and washed it down with soda,
your stomach would explode.

It was supposed to have happened
to that kid Mikey

from the cereal commercial.

And we're shooting
the shit about him

in Bobby Raven's tree house,

and before you know it,
I'm coming back from the store

with a sixer of RC
and a baggie of Pop Rocks.

So I'm up there
with my last fucking supper

and everybody's looking at me,

kind of with their eyes
half-closed,

not sure if they really want
to see a stomach explode.

I make some half-assed
nine-year-old toast,

and down I go
with a full baggie of Pop Rocks

and half a can on soda.

Clink.

It got really quiet.

Not a sound.

We waited.

We waited like five minutes.

I guess in the end,
we all felt really gypped.

Uh, did you think

your stomach would explode?

I don't remember.

Because if you thought

it would explode, then you were
committing suicide, JJ.

And that's a death wish.

I don't think
I thought that far ahead.

Oh, no, I don't think
you did either,

because in that moment,

you were quite satisfied
being the center of attention.

Nobody was going anywhere, Doc.

No, see, you'd found a new way
to impress your friends.

You didn't need
to be good at T-ball.

You could just
kill yourself instead.

So you embarked on a nine-year
quest to do just that.

Um, tell me, was your father
a hard man to impress?

My father died
when I was three.

Wh-what do you
remember?

I remember he won
the Purple Heart.

He pinned it on me.

He told me I was his soldier.

How was he wounded?

He saved his platoon.

Oh.

Was he a drinking man?

I don't remember.

Your stepfather, Bull,
had his own child, right?

And so you had to find a way

to make him
pay attention to you.

Didn't he?

You were the center
of attention in the hospital,

in the courtroom?

It wasn't my fault.

The cocksucker was
on the wrong side of the road.

Yeah, how fast were you going?

115 miles an hour.

Why were you going
115 miles an hour?

You know, it's hard
to ignore a boy

with a rope around his neck.

Hey, JJ,

let's go!

The whore's leaving.

So I'd pick the
kids up at 7:00,

drive them home at 3:00.

It was the time in between
that got a little complicated.

The PTA thought
that a 30-foot yellow school bus

parked in front of
the Sticky Kitty Bar and Lounge

was an eyesore.

So I soon worked out a plan
to buy my booze ahead of time.

Well, then the PTA had a problem

with empty schnapps bottles
rolling under the bus seats

every time I made a pickup.

There is just
no pleasing these people, huh?

Coke, root beer,

alcohol.

Rum.

Ding! S.

Itch.

Scratch.

T.

Chair.
Table.

Ding! U.

Hawaiian.
Hula!

Guitar.

No, ukulele.

Ding! V.

Mountain.
Volcano.

Ding, ding, ding!

Hello.

Honey, do you mind?

I'll let the cat in.

Can you close the door
after you?

Sure.

Hello.

Yeah, I'm alone.

Oh, shit.

No, stop, stop!

No!

Hey, it's the $6 million man.

JJ, it's Bobby.

See?

I see.

You shouldn't smoke, JJ.

Thank you, Bobby.

She's so great.

I mean, don't you think it's
hard enough, and you come here?

Well, it didn't make
much fiscal sense

to wait for you to come to me.

I would've come.

Oh, sure, you would've come.

What, in another six months?
No.

I've waited long enough.

Mom, sorry,
Bobby can't stay.

Sure he can stay.

No, he can't stay;
he forgot something.

Well, anything
that I've forgotten

certainly can stay forgotten
for a bowl of cereal.

How was the meeting?

Inspiring.

Why don't you show me
your room, JJ?

So did you think
it was just going to go away?

Come on, Bobby...
You'll get your money.

'Cause you were gone
a long time, man.

Things change.

I mean, even out here
in Bumblefuckville,

things change.

Are you threatening me, Bobby?

Don't become more trouble
than you're worth, all right?

And you're only worth $3,500.

What did you want me to do?

I was in rehab for six months.

Where was I supposed
to get $3,500?

Rehab.

That was really clever,
that rehab stuff, man.

I gotta hand it to you.

Bravo.

It was that or jail, Bobby.

It was no joke.

All right, I'm finished.

I'm clean.

You're clean, ha ha ha.

That's my favorite part.

Look, man, we used
to drink Sterno together.

I used to spray
air freshener in your face.

It's me.
It's Bobby Raven, man.

I'm not going to tell anybody.

Really, Bobby, I'm done.

I just got some FedExed
to me this morning, man.

It's fat, pure, fluffy.

Come on.

I haven't even stepped
on it yet, man.

Just you and me
and nobody else'll know.

I mean, we used to have
such good times together.

You'll get your money.

No, you don't understand,
that's not...

Bobby, I used
to fuck up, all right?

I know I used to fuck up,

but I'm better now, all right?

I got a job at the steel plant.

I can keep a job.

You can work for me.

Just small stuff.

Just little deliveries
until the debt's paid off, huh?

No. Well, fuck you, then, man.

I wouldn't let you
wash my fucking car,

you little prick!

I just need some time, Bobby.

Your birthday's coming up,
isn't it?

Remember those models
that I used to get you?

We sniffed the glue.

We fucking did.

We never built
one of those things, did we?

It was the glue.

Aw, man, but I missed
your last one.

I got you this little $20
bottle of scotch.

I figured that we'd get tossed

like we were friends
or something, you know?

And you came over,

and you didn't want to hang out.

You just wanted to get
your 8-ball and be on your way.

It was all business
with you, man.

Just going off, doing my coke
with that fleabag Lizzie.

How is she, huh?
How is Lizzie?

I haven't seen her.

Yeah, but she must have
wrote, right?

Come down to the center
for some conjugal visits?

Ah! Ah!

Huh?

Bake you a little cake.

Put a little file inside

so you could break out
or something?

I mean, hey,

what do you need
a fleabag like Lizzie for

when you got a piece of ass
like Dot in the family?

That's disgusting.

Don't fucking judge me!

I'm going to give you
something really special

for your birthday this year, JJ.

I'm going to give you time.

You have till May 3
to give me my money.

That's your 18th birthday.

So don't fuck it up, okay?

We're not little kids
anymore, JJ.

You know?

We have to learn how to handle
our problems like adults.

But that doesn't mean
we still can't be friends, okay?

So I need you to hold on
to this for me.

Take this.

It's not safe with me right now.

For Christ's sakes,
I just got out of rehab.

I don't give a fuck.

It's yours.

You bought it.

Bobby,

don't leave this with me.

Feels good
to help out a friend, huh?

You scared?

You scared of being my friend?

You don't think it's
going to keep snowing forever,

do you?

Nah, it's spring.

You know, it can't last forever.

Maybe, um, you can play catch
with me tomorrow...

If it ain't snowing.

Yeah.

Good night.

Good night, Benji.

There was this epidemic that hit
our school in the 10th grade.

Some miserable, prepubescent
chemistry lab rat

locked out of Daddy's
liquor cabinet figures out

that if you put a handkerchief
in front of your face

and spray the hankie with Glade,
you'd get high, all right?

Real high.

Pretty soon,
a quarter of the school's

got a bottle of air freshener
in their locker, right,

and kids are dropping
like flies.

I mean, one kid goes blind.

A freshman manages
to sterilize himself.

And finally, they call
this big, huge assembly meeting,

and the principal's standing
in the middle of it all.

He's looking real tired
and embarrassed.

And the first thing
he says to us is,

"I can't believe
I have to tell you this,

"but spraying your face
with air freshener

can have
disastrous effects."

Now, it's sold out
all over town.

And we have to drive
20 miles into the next county

for air freshener.

You never worried
about going blind?

I knew what I was doing.

The other kids can run
a four-minute mile

or play the clarinet.

Yeah, and you were proficient
at drug abuse?

Where do you think
that was going to get you, JJ?

I didn't think that way.

Oh, I know, yes...
That far ahead.

And everyone had to stop
what they were doing

and watch you
self-destruct?

Tell us about Benji.

Benji's going to be
a baseball player.

Going to be?

What, as in tomorrow?

Benji's got a chance.

Yeah, because Benji
allowed himself a future.

Benji was allowed a future.

I was ran off
the day my daddy died.

So as long as you were dying,
you had an audience.

That's a pretty
horrible show, JJ.

Now, Benji

shouldn't even be in a PG movie.

Do you think it's right
he should be made to watch you?

I don't want to talk
about Benji anymore.

Rise and
shine, sleepyhead.

It's whorin' time.

Aw, come on, JJ.

Makes you look
like one of the boys.

To tell you the truth,

some of them think you only
got that job 'cause of me.

Born with a silver spoon
in your mouth, so to speak.

Breeds resentment.

I'm embarrassed
of my royal lineage.

It comes off, though.

No, it wears off.

Hey.

What happened?

Nothing.

An accident.

Accident?

Of course.

Bull, I got...
I got to talk to you.

I think she
brought somebody else in.

What?

She's a very committed lady.

If JJ wants
to blow his own brains out,

that's one thing,
but if she thinks she's...

She's really a good girl.

I suggest you put
your pants back on

and get control
of this situation, Uncle.

Whoa, look at you.

All dressed to kill.

Yeah, you going out
on a big hunt?

Uh, Lizzie's coming over.

We're supposed to go out.

Uh, I-I can't
go out like this.

Tell her it's leprosy.

Pop, you've got
to loan me 20 bucks.

You high again?

All right.

I'll get it.

You're looking good, son.

You're batting 1,000 in my book.

Hey, you're
minding the store now,

right, Uncle?

Right on top of the store.

Nothing to worry about.

Thank you, Ernie.

Oh, look at you.

Hey.

Hey.

What happened?

Oh, it was an accident
at the steel plant.

An accident?

Yeah, it's no big deal.

Let me get your coat.

It's nice that you're back.

Well, here you are.

Here I am.

I thought maybe we could go
get a burger, you know, maybe,

or go to the arcade,
if you want.

How 'bout the Third Base?

You want to drink?

Well, sure, yeah.

We can...
We can do that.

I-I mean, you can...

You know, drink, I mean.

You just kind of got to get me
home kind of early,

'cause I got this 6:00 a.m.
shift tomorrow.

Get you home?

I don't have a car.

Well, jeez, Lizzie,
we kind of got a problem,

'cause my license is,
like, beyond revoked.

Bobby's got a car.

Thanks, Bobby.

I'll call you.

Hey.

What's up, JJ?

Hey, JJ.

Hey, welcome home, kid.

Hey.

Stu, how are you?

Hey, I almost

went out of business
without you, JJ.

Yeah.

Um, I'll get a, um...
A Long Island iced tea

and a...

Tequila?

No, no, no.

How 'bout a, um,
something real fun, you know?

Kamikaze?

How 'bout a Coke
and orange soda mixed?

Feels funny drinking here alone.

I can't now, Lizzie.

I mean, you understand.

Yeah, yeah, I understand.

You know, it wasn't easy
being in there,

watching one day
lead into the next

for six fucking months.

They treat us
like six-year-olds.

And I thought of you.

I mean, I thought you'd visit,

and I thought you'd
write me a letter.

Yeah, I just...
I've been busy.

Wh-What were you doing?

Um, I got a job
after graduation.

Waitressing.

There's the job,

and I got no car,

and you know that.

And you don't have
a stamp either, huh?

Or an envelope?

Or any common fucking decency?

Look, I came here
tonight, didn't I?

Hey, babies,
good to see you.

I'm doing all right.

Um, can I get, uh...

Let me get, uh, three tequilas.

Were you running around
with somebody?

Were you running around
with Bobby?

He's dangerous, all right?

You have no idea.

Are you going
to give him his money?

What?

He's your friend, JJ.

My friend says
he's going to break my legs.

What do you expect?

You run out of town
for six months

and leave him holding
a $3,500 fuck you.

He's got people to answer to,

you know?

I mean, people who aren't
quite as understanding as he is.

Friends don't do that
to each other.

Are you collecting for him now?

Okay.

Hey, uh,

I'm not interrupting, am I?

Actually, Bobby...

Well, fuck it.

Oh, man.

We were actually
just talking about you.

Oh, I bet you were.

Hey, a toast, huh?

To JJ and his big birthday.

Okay.

Gah!

To old times, huh?

You know, JJ,

I'm really happy for you.

I mean, you found your path,

and I wish
you all the luck in the world

sticking to it.

It just...

It looks like your path
ends at the plant.

You don't have to send her
around anymore, all right?

You'll get your money.

Wait, JJ.

Look, J, I'm really sorry, man.

I didn't mean

for the money to get
in the way of our friendship.

Hey, JJ. What do you do?

What do you say?

What the fuck?

Uh, Pops,

did you pick up my paycheck
for this week?

Yeah, sure, it's on the table.

246 bucks?

Ah... I worked 50 hours.

Yeah, well, what'd you expect?

It ain't exactly rocket science.

This isn't going to do it.

90 bucks in taxes!

Welcome to the free world.

This isn't going to do it.

Pop, you got
to get me something else.

Like what?

Like anything else.

Car.

No.

Hup, plus one.

Cap.

I'm going crazy, Doc.

I got to get out of here.

But you didn't get cap?

No, you're not listening to me.

JJ,

I'm listening.

They're your family.

My family is
the best reason I can think

to drink myself into a coma.

Did I say
it was going to be easy?

Did I say you weren't going
to doubt yourself every day?

Cap?

No, you're not listening.

It was right there.

JJ, you can't
live in the clinic.

Recovery begins at home.

Besides, your mother
deserves a son,

and your brother
deserves a brother.

So what did you find?

I found LSD.

Uh, I'm not sure
you can use abbreviations.

It's in the dictionary.

Okay, fine, fine.

That's one.

I found morphine.

JJ, morphine's not there.

Sure it is.

It's seven letters;
it's extra.

That's eight letters,

and there are no Ms or Os or Hs.

I could've sworn
I saw them there.

Look, they're mixed!

What?

They're mixed.

And how are my
living-room gladiators?

We're not in the living room.

We're not?

We're in the Colosseum!

The Colosseum.

Okay, let me guess:
which one of you is the lion?

Well, you can't tell?

Tall glass of vodka

for my gladiator.

Don't turn your back
on this one.

Oh, I should say not.

I've learned a thing or two

about counting chickens.

What did you say?

I've learned a thing or two...

No, Mom, what did you say?

I said a tall glass
of lemonade for my gladiator.

Okay, JJ,
the secret is suffixes.

You find a suffix like, um...

E-N-T...
"ent."

Yeah, "ent," perfect.

Take a suffix like "ent"

and then you can start
to build words like relent,

sent, bent...

Tequila.

What?
Tent.

Rock cocaine.
What?

Vent.
Excellent.

Wait, stop.

Cop.
Pop.

Fat long lines
of Bolivian marching powder

hidden away in the speaker?
Beauty, there's another one.

I gotta go use the can.

Okay, sure.

How's he doing, Doctor?

Oh, stronger...
Stronger every day.

Yeah?

You don't suppose you could talk
to him about smoking?

It's just so...

Dirty.

Okay, I'll talk to him.

Well, I have to go
to the hospital, Doctor, so...

as far as I'm concerned,

you're one of the family.

Thank you, Phyllis.

Thank you.

After a couple years
of daily cocaine abuse,

I could run a Kleenex up
one nostril and out the other.

I did it for my son's
fifth birthday party.

Kids loved it.

You know, what the hell?
It was cheaper than a clown.

I didn't have a lot of money
to spend on clowns

for my five-year-old
back then.

I needed every cent just to get
out of bed in the morning.

Hey, hon, you going somewhere?

I told you I was.

Yes.

That's right, of course.

I remember.

Um, where?

Spanish class.

Oh, si, si, seńora.

What?

It means
"yes, yes, honey."

I'm late, Ernie.

Dot, we need to talk.

About what?

About JJ.

There's somebody else,

isn't there?

Hey.

Get in.

I can walk.

Come on;
you can get in.

What?

What's wrong, huh?

What, are you mad at me?

Or is it just you don't want
to get in my car?

No, hold on.

No, come here, come here!

Why are you doing this?

Because I can.

I need my money, JJ.

JJ.

Officer Waters.

Higher power.

Everything all right?

Yeah, we're good.

I'm good, yeah.

I got 2 1/2 weeks.

You got 16 days.

Call me, okay?

You know, Dot, if there's
somebody else involved,

it's okay.

Are you questioning me, Ernie?

I... you got a little
enthusiastic, that's all.

Now, you just break it off,
that's all.

It's my fault.

I'm gullible.

I think with my heart

instead of my head.

And now you,
my knight in shining armor,

turns into a suspicious
little stock boy

accusing me of conspiring
against my nephew.

I'm late.

Just stop it, Dot.

That's all.

Whatever you started,
just stop it now!

Sure, Ernie.

Whatever you say.

She's learning Spanish now.

Ain't that something?

My little seńorita.

Good night, Ernie.

Well, yeah, sure, people talk,

but you know, I-I-I think
they're just jealous,

what me and Dot got.

Yeah.

Hey, Bobby.

Whaddya know, whaddya say?

Hey.

Uh-huh.

JJ.

JJ.

Yeah.

What?

When?

Shit.

Uh, Uncle Ernie... he was
walking back from the bar,

and it seems a car must have...
Must have lost control

and a hit-and-run
or something,

and they found him
in the snowbank.

He's in a coma.

Do you think I don't know
that everybody's talking about me?

Like I go in the bank,

and everybody suddenly shuts up.

I never have to wait in line.

It was like I had foam coming
out of my mouth or something.

It ain't contagious.

It's just bad luck.

Uncle Ernie seems to have
caught a mild case of it.

Yeah, well, that don't
keep him from talking.

Oh, no, they just...

How is Ernie?

Still unconscious.

Fortunately, the freezing cold

slowed the bleeding, you know,

and the doctor seemed to feel
he could be all right

when he wakes up.

If he wakes up.

Poor little Ernie.

JJ, run out

and get your aunt's suitcase,
sweetie, okay?

What?

She's staying here?

Well, she certainly
can't stay alone now.

Oh, no,

it's all right, Phyllis.

I'll be perfectly fine at home.

See, she'll be fine.

Absolutely not, Dot.

This family
might not have a lot,

but we have each other.

You were here for JJ;

we're going to be here for you.

Here?

Be nice.

Here, sweetie.
Here's Mr. Bear, okay?

Thank you.

I'm going to make
sure we have clean towels.

Let me ask you something,
there, Dot.

Did Ernie have life insurance?

It's just bad luck, Bull.

You know Ernie.

He was probably a little tipsy.

He was stumbling home
from the bar.

He fell.

Somebody gave him a little bump.

That ain't bad luck;
that's manslaughter.

Hmm.

Where was your car
last night, Dot?

The police already
checked it out.

It's fine.

No dents, no pings.

Well, you know,

hospital's expensive.

Like I said, it's just bad luck.

Besides, I have
other investments.

Not anymore.

What in the world do you think
you're talking about?

Deal's off
is what I'm talking about.

Oh, I'm sorry, Bull,
but it doesn't work that way.

The month's paid for,

so there is still 13 days left

in this ball game.

There were rules, Dot,
and you broke 'em.

You brought somebody else in.

Foul, Dot.
You fouled out!

I wonder what Phyllis'll
think about all this.

She'll understand.

Oh, she won't understand
about this.

You ought to take a look
at that contract again.

Funny... you won't find my name
anywhere on it.

I'll explain it to her.

I'm sorry, Bull.

We can't afford
to be selfish now.

I tried to explain that
to Ernie.

Look, I'll give you
your fucking 2 grand back.

You just call it off.

Oh, that's real
sweet of you, Bull.

Don't got the stomach for it?

Thank God I do.

Thank God I know
what's best for this family.

What's best is
you keep away from JJ.

I'm warning you.

Sure, Bull.

Anything you say.

Why'd you take me

out of group?

I thought you enjoyed
having an audience too much.

What's the matter?

No more funny anecdotes?

I think I should be
back in group.

I think we should be alone

until you recognize
that you are a very real person.

I don't think you ever
truly believe you existed.

Don't get nutty on me, Doc.

But you exist.

I have proof:
hospital records,

court records.

People are paying attention.

Hey, kid, you're late.

Here you go, ma'am.

All right, here you go.

Thanks.

It's all there.

Uh, your receipt.

Are you okay?

Coping.

How was work?

It was fine.

Where's Mom and Pop?

It's just you and me, JJ.

JJ, freshen me up.

Thanks, sweetheart.

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

I didn't say when.

Warms me up.

I'm sorry.

How long's it been, JJ?

Six months.

Ah.

16 days.

Doesn't seem fair, does it?

Working hard like you do,

no Miller Time for you.

I guess I've had
enough Miller Time

for the entire NASCAR circuit.

Sit down, JJ.

Let me ask you something.

How long are you supposed
to keep this up?

Is there a test or something?

Look, it's really not

about proving
anything, all right?

This is just me now.

Just you?

No, it's not you, JJ.

It's not you at all.

Hey, remember when
I caught you stealing my pills?

Remember?

Ernie was off at work,

and I was in the next room
with the holy Father,

sneaking him down
to his skivvies.

He was moaning away in Latin.

You were singing He's Got
the Whole World in His Hands.

And then I caught you lying
at the bottom of the bathtub,

trying to hide,

and you were zonked out
on half a bottle of Valium.

I learned a lot about the Bible

trapped in that bathroom.

We're all people, JJ.

We're all just weak people.

Sit over here.

Come on, honey.

Sit with your Aunt Dot.

I want to show you something.

What is it?

Read it.

It's an insurance policy.

Yeah, I found it

in the glove compartment
of the Beetle.

It's an awful lot of money.

Bull's careful.

I'm sure we all have insurance.

Yeah, yeah,

of course we do.

It's for, what, $75,000.

Well, you're certainly
worth $75,000.

Insurance is for everybody.

Mm-hmm.

It's just in case.

Bull is very...

Bull's being careful;
yeah, you said.

Yeah.

You liked listening to us?

Me and the deacon?

Shit, Dot, I mean...

You can tell me, JJ.

It ain't like
we're related or anything.

I'll bet you couldn't wait
to tell all your friends.

I didn't tell anybody.

Nobody?

It was your secret?

Our secret.

Well, I ain't such an old woman

that we can't have
more secrets, JJ.

Why don't you have
a drink with me?

Dot...

Come on.

Share mine with me.

It isn't snowing!

You promised
to play baseball with me

when it ain't snowing!

And it's not!

Yeah, I did.

I did.
You know, I did.

I promised Benji,

and, you know,
I'd love to talk to you, Dot,

and, um, thank you,

but, you know,

tryouts are coming up,

and, um, and the weather
being like it is.

And damn, you know?

Isn't weather funny?

Button up.

Good evening.

A freak winter storm watch
continues,

as we expect an addition
6 to 10 inches of snow

through the night.

Schools and most businesses
remain closed,

the highways blocked
from the Parkway north,

and road crews are
doing everything they can

to keep emergency routes open.

Is there spring in sight, Cindi?

You know what I think, Bob?

What's that, Cindi?

Seems to me that spring
took a cruise to Aruba.

Remember that show
In Search Of, Cindi?

Yep, sure do, Bob.

Seems to me like maybe
Mr. Spock ought to go

in search of spring.

Ha, in search of spring.

This is even worse
than the one in '99, isn't it?

You're never
going to let me forget that.

I remember.

I put a little OT that night.

Well, Bob...

$291.

That ain't so bad.

Hey, minus the $20 you owe me,

plus the $20,
let's say, for food.

JJ?

I'm sorry.

I'm... I'm... I'm tired.

It's nothing.

Just tired.

Hey, look, the $20, you know...

Forget about the $20.

I have your money, Bull.

You said they needed somebody

for night maintenance?
Yeah, sure.

I'll check.

Maybe you should just
take it easy for a few weeks.

What do you care?

Just ask, huh, Bull?

I got to check out
early tonight.

Where are you going?

I'm going out.
That okay?

Yeah, sure, JJ.

Well, just
when you thought it was safe

to put away the snowsuit,

here comes mountains
of white powder,

mountains and mountains
of the flaky stuff,

numbing your face and nose.

Shouldn't you be in school?

It's, um, snowed out.

Lot of snow days.

You know, you're just
going to have to make them up

at the end of the year.

Yeah.

Fuck off, Benji.

Leaving a girlfriend behind?

Uh, no, sir.

You have had
a girlfriend in the past,

haven't you?

Ye-Yes, sir.

And you liked
having a girlfriend?

It was okay.

I'm not gay, sir,

if that's what you're
trying not to ask.

We'll see you
when you're 18, son.

I'm such a
selfish bastard, Doc.

I'm so sorry.

Well, nobody
wants your apologies.

And see, what you're
going through

is a process
of meeting yourself,

and it's not going to be easy.

You're not going
to like everything you learn,

but you can face it,
sober and aware.

What if I can't stand myself?

Well, it's natural to be afraid.

Fear is a...

Is a necessary doorway.

I've never felt afraid.

Well, see,

what's growing inside of you
is a feeling, caring person,

and if you weren't afraid
to lose that,

then you really would be dead.

With tremendous
underwater thrusts,

the bull tunnels his way
inside the narrow...

The act is a painful,
powerful...

Who is it?

Come here.
Shh, shh!

What the...

Shhhhhhhhh!

We're going to go for a ride.

No, we're going to go right now.

Put your fucking coat on.

I need my fucking money, JJ.

You said my birthday, Bobby.

You know what?
Fuck that, man.

That's...
That's seven days away.

I need it now.

I need it right the fuck now.

I just picked up
some extra shifts.

Some guy wants me
to look after his mother, see?

I'm shoveling snow.

How much you got, huh?

It's not what I thought

I'd be making at the plant.

How much do you have?

I don't know, Bobby.

I'm trying, all right?

$611?

What the fuck
were you going to do, huh?

Fuck.

Like it really
fucking matters anyway, huh?

Oh, fuck, I'm dead!
I'm fucking dead!

They're going to ki...

They're going to kill me!

Who is?

These fucking guys.

They came all the way
from Florida.

What do they want?

$16,000...
My head in a box.

Oh, fuck.

Hey, you got a gun?

Huh?

You got to get
out of here, Bobby.

Bull has a gun.

I know Bull has a fucking gun.

There's no gun,
Bobby, all right?

Look, you got
to get out of here.

Where the fuck am I going to go?

You could stay
at my house, all right?

You just got to be out
of here by the morning.

You'll let me stay at your house

after all the shit
that we've been through?

We grew up together;
of course.

That's real
fucking white of you, man.

Man, if we
had a fucking gun...

We could show some Cubans
what a couple of hicks could do

with some teamwork
and a shotgun, huh?

We'd fucking blast them.

Fuck the gun, Bobby, all right?

Go to the cops.

Fuck the cops, man.

We have to think, all right?

You got my stash?

Held out that long, huh?

That's really great, man;
that's really fucking great.

Congratulations, you know?

I want you to know that I wasn't
going to hurt you really.

You know?

I just...

I mean,

you know that, right?

You know that
I wasn't going to hurt you.

We never stopped being friends.

We both said some shit,
but it was bullshit.

Sure, Bobby,
we're still friends.

I just wanted it
to be the same, man.

Bobby, you got to run.

I mean, Bull might have
some money.

He keeps his wallet
on the dresser.

It's going to be different, man.

You know, if I could
just figure out a way

to walk away from all of this.

It's going to be so different.

I just need some time to think

of how I can make this right,
you know?

Different.

The only thing
I have is 16 bucks, man.

I figure this way
you have some gas money.

Bobby?

Bobby?
Bobby?

Bobby?

Bobby?

JJ, let's go.

I'm not going.

What's the matter?
You sick?

What... you didn't
stay up all night

watching them
whales hump, did you?

I'm not going.

Well, what do you want me
to tell them?

Tell them I'm not going.

Hey.

Oh, honey, are you all right?

Get out.

Out!

Get the fuck out!

JJ?

Sweetie?

I'm... I'm just going to leave
the tray right here, okay?

He's been in his room
three days.

He doesn't eat;
he doesn't wash.

We're out of bourbon again.

How can we be out
of bourbon again?

Well, I guess you and Bull
must have been drinking

more than you thought.

Yeah, I guess.

Bobby's funeral is scheduled
for JJ's birthday.

Why is it so hard?

Why is everything
so goddamn hard?

Did the autopsy come back?

Apparently,
he had taken some drugs,

but it wasn't just drugs.

Somebody had mixed in
a large quantity

of something
called white arsenic.

I guess Bobby had
some rough friends.

Elizabeth,
come in, come in.

Oh, sweetie.

I'm busy!

It's me, JJ.

Can I come in?

What do you want?

Please?

It happens like this, Benji.

Your friends are all
playing T-ball one day,

and the next day,
they're joining marijuana clubs.

You be careful.

I'll be careful, Mom.

You want a drink?

Yeah, if you got one.

You're at the Whites'.

There's always
something to drink

at the Whites'.

Your mom was real happy
to see me.

Yeah, well,
she has a weak heart.

I'm sorry about Bobby.

Yeah.

We screwed up.

What do you want me to say?

That you miss him?

That you loved him?

You left me for him.

Right when I needed you.

I know that.

I'm sorry.

But you have to understand...

Understand what?

That I didn't want it
all to end.

That I don't want
to grow old here like my mom.

That you came back,
and suddenly,

it was all over for you.

Is there more
you had in mind, Lizzie?

Is this all right?
Is this what you expected?

It's, um, your birthday soon.

Here.

It's us.

Bobby's luau.

I'm so sorry, JJ.

Thank you, Lizzie.

JJ.

JJ.

Yeah?

There's something
I have to ask you.

Yeah?

Do you still have Bobby's stash?

What?

Come on, now, JJ.

I mean, it's not right

that you should get
all of it now.

What?

I mean,

you don't even
do the stuff, right?

Get out.

Wait, no, I mean,

there is just nothing
without Bobby here.

I mean, there is nothing
with him gone.

We can share, JJ.

Get out!

Please, wait, wait.

Just don't throw
everything away.

I can still remember
what you like.

Get out!

Get the fuck out!

You're making a big mistake, JJ!

Get out!

When are you going to get
another chance like this?

Get out!

One day, you're
going to be out there

pitching touchdowns and making
your loving aunt proud of you.

Hmm?

Hey, Sasquatch, it's all gone.

There's apple
strudel schnapps.

Where is this from?

All right!

That's enough, JJ.

Bull, that such some
really great tough love.

Thank you.

All's that I ask is that
you keep it from your mother.

Don't... don't talk
to me about my mother.

You owe it to her.

You owe it to her
to be sober on your birthday.

She can't take it.

She's no match for you, JJ.

I'm a real handful, huh, Bull?

I can imagine
it'd be a lot easier

if I was just out of the way.

What are you talking about?

Does Mom know?

Know what?

You stop it.

Stop it, all right?

You bet against me now!

Now, please,

please just tell me, was...
Did Phyllis know?

She has no idea.

I only wanted what was best, JJ.

And at the time,
I believed it was for the best.

Yeah, well, I'm going
into the army tomorrow.

They want me.

Just like your father.

You don't have any idea, JJ.

You were only three years old
when it happened.

What do you remember?

Remember him bouncing you
on his knee, hmm?

Remember him
changing your diapers

or taking you out
to the Dairy Queen?

Didn't happen.

You want to know
who your old man was?

Finish off that bottle and go
take a good look in the mirror.

Why are you doing this?

You want to know where
that Purple Heart came from?

His still blew up
and shot glass through his leg.

So they sent him home

to wage his own war
against his wife and his son.

I was his best friend, JJ,

so I stayed around
to watch the carnage

for as much as I could stand.

Your old man...

Standing over your bed,
armed with a bottle,

screaming down at you,

"Quit your crying!
Soldiers don't cry!"

You're lying.

"Only flatfoots and fairies
and Section 8s cry."

And he'd cry
right along with you,

and your mother would cry,

and we'd gather around
and watch him drink.

Please stop!

There was no car accident.

We just told you that
to spare you.

Your father bled to death
in his own bedroom,

pissing the bed
blood red on purpose

because he knew your mother
would have to clean it up.

It was the cruelest suicide
ever imagined.

He took

as much of your mother with him
as he could,

and he would've gotten you, too,

if she hadn't been there
to protect you.

Please stop.
You're fucking lying.

You want to kill yourself?

Don't do it
so all of us can see.

Is that what you want, Bull?

Look, I know it's been rough.

I know it's been unfair.

Be good to her.

I'm begging you.

Are you ready?

Where are you going?

The hospital...
Ernie woke up, remember?

I'm not feeling so hot, Mom.

Are you sick, sweetie?

Have you been eating strudel?

Why can't we go
visit Ernie tomorrow?

Tomorrow's a busy day, honey.

We got the funeral
and then your birthday party.

Reservations at the Ponderosa.

Hear that, Dot?

Birthday.

Nine short hours from now.

We can go visit him
tomorrow morning, Mom.

Go.
Just go.

I'll stay with him, Phyllis.

No, you won't.

All of you, just go.

What do you mean, no, I won't?

Your husband just
came out of a coma.

Don't you think
it'd be nice if you were there?

Go, all right!
Just go! Go!

Oh, sweet Jesus.

Now what?

I can't imagine.

Doctor.

Hi.

Hello, Phyllis.

How are you, Doctor?

What a nice surprise.

I understand
that JJ lost a friend.

I know;
I'll go.

Hello, JJ.

Yeah.

It's been hard, Doctor.

Caring doesn't just happen
in a hospital, Phyllis.

I'll stay too, if it'll help.

You're coming.

Uh, that's all right, Dot.

It's probably
if we're left alone.

Sure.

All right, Bull, I'm coming.

Just start the car without me.

I have to put on my coat.

It's over, Dot.

8 hours and 50 minutes.

All that money, Bull...

Tell me you ain't disappointed.

I ain't disappointed.

It ain't over yet.

The fat lady hasn't sung.

JJ, snow's gone!

JJ!

It ain't snowing.

So you're going
to go outside and play.

Um, JJ said
that I could play with JJ.

You can play alone, Benji.

I can play with JJ.

No, JJ's all grown up now.

Time to play by yourself, Benji.

See you later.

Benji.

Is that you?

What are you doing here?

Just trying to help you
get what you want.

Apple strudel schnapps.

It's a hard way to go.

Probably less painful
to cut your wrists.

Oh.

Happy birthday, JJ.

Let's talk.

We've been talking
for seven months, Doc.

Aw, that wasn't talking.

That was just rhetoric, JJ.

Not much fun anymore, is it?

No.

Wasn't much fun being sober,

and now it's not much fun
being drunk.

These past seven months...

Almost like they never happened.

Why don't you let yourself out?

Quite a piece of ass, isn't she?

Your aunt?

What do you want?

I want to tell you
the truth, JJ,

and I want you
to tell me the truth.

You said it yourself, Doc.

I'm right back where I started.

I'm older.

You know how many
actually make it, JJ?

3%.

That's 3 out of 100.
Hmm.

Sometimes it takes a year,
sometimes a week,

sometimes just a day
before you end up drunk, high,

dead.

What's your point?