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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,363 --> 00:00:03,858 Okay, folks, you might want to put on some sunscreen. 2 00:00:03,900 --> 00:00:06,988 Up this high, the trees start to thin out. 3 00:00:07,032 --> 00:00:08,512 Oh, this might be a good place for a picture. 4 00:00:08,554 --> 00:00:09,612 Oh, let me go behind that rock. 5 00:00:09,654 --> 00:00:11,009 I'll change into my next look. 6 00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:12,066 Another one? 7 00:00:12,108 --> 00:00:14,391 He has to. His Instagram follower demands it. 8 00:00:14,435 --> 00:00:15,239 Eagle! 9 00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:16,719 Oh, wait, false alarm. 10 00:00:16,762 --> 00:00:18,242 It's just a plastic bag in a tree. 11 00:00:18,283 --> 00:00:19,004 Eagle! 12 00:00:19,045 --> 00:00:20,484 Nope. Sorry. 13 00:00:20,527 --> 00:00:21,542 Bag fell. 14 00:00:22,811 --> 00:00:23,911 Every winter, 15 00:00:23,952 --> 00:00:26,237 I take a bird-watching trip with my buddies... 16 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,184 specifically to see a bald eagle. 17 00:00:28,225 --> 00:00:29,960 So far, no luck. 18 00:00:30,003 --> 00:00:33,302 This year, my buddies bailed... back spasm, cracked hip. 19 00:00:33,344 --> 00:00:36,179 And I'm the idiot for installing a shower chair. 20 00:00:36,222 --> 00:00:37,914 I was all set to go solo, 21 00:00:37,957 --> 00:00:40,621 when those three tagalongs invited themselves. 22 00:00:40,664 --> 00:00:42,186 They invaded my territory 23 00:00:42,229 --> 00:00:44,725 like a bunch of bay-breasted warblers. 24 00:00:44,768 --> 00:00:46,926 Darned if I didn't feel like a bay-breasted warbler 25 00:00:46,966 --> 00:00:50,393 horning in on Jay's trip, but Gloria made us go. 26 00:00:50,436 --> 00:00:51,875 She was worried about my dad 27 00:00:51,917 --> 00:00:53,777 being out in the woods alone at his age, 28 00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,401 so she... she gently nudged us to join him. 29 00:00:56,444 --> 00:00:58,981 Gloria, if my dad doesn't want us t... 30 00:00:59,024 --> 00:01:00,957 Hey, Dad, uh, whatcha doin' this weekend? 31 00:01:01,051 --> 00:01:03,636 - Ah, little nature trip. - Oh! Sounds like fun. 32 00:01:03,677 --> 00:01:04,524 - Count us in! - Yes. 33 00:01:04,566 --> 00:01:06,427 Actually, I was looking for a little alone time... 34 00:01:06,469 --> 00:01:09,980 Hey! Am I the only one with bald eagles on the brain? 35 00:01:10,807 --> 00:01:12,308 You know what? I think in about 10 minutes, 36 00:01:12,349 --> 00:01:15,522 the light's gonna be perfect for my "Afternoon Adventurer" look. 37 00:01:15,566 --> 00:01:17,596 Okay, uh, before we head deeper into the woods, 38 00:01:17,638 --> 00:01:20,980 I should warn you folks that there's been several bear sightings in the area. 39 00:01:21,022 --> 00:01:23,265 - So if you happen to have any food with you... - Got it! 40 00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:26,057 [Backpack thuds] 41 00:01:26,099 --> 00:01:29,694 I was going to say you can store it in this bear box... here. 42 00:01:29,737 --> 00:01:30,710 Oh. Um, okay. 43 00:01:30,753 --> 00:01:32,276 Well, then, talk amongst yourselves. 44 00:01:32,317 --> 00:01:33,715 It could take me a while 45 00:01:33,757 --> 00:01:35,787 to find where my manly heave sent that heavy... 46 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,944 Ah! Here it is. Someone must've heaved it back. 47 00:01:37,986 --> 00:01:39,524 Thank you! 48 00:01:48,849 --> 00:01:51,287 ♪♪ 49 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,162 Hello! 50 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,689 Oh, hey, Gloria. Thanks for coming. 51 00:01:57,733 --> 00:01:58,996 It's gonna be such a fun girls' night... 52 00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:01,736 drinking wine, planning the nursery. 53 00:02:01,781 --> 00:02:03,043 Okay, I was going to surprise you, 54 00:02:03,087 --> 00:02:05,959 but I can't wait anymore. 55 00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:09,876 It's a handmade mobile of great women in history! 56 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:11,443 Eleanor Roosevelt, 57 00:02:11,485 --> 00:02:12,312 Rosa Parks! 58 00:02:12,356 --> 00:02:13,358 - [Squeals] - Ohh! 59 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:16,013 I just hope it goes with the theme that Dylan wants for the room. 60 00:02:16,056 --> 00:02:17,796 Are any of these women important in the fields 61 00:02:17,841 --> 00:02:19,754 of fire trucks or unicorns? 62 00:02:19,799 --> 00:02:20,599 Claire: Oh! 63 00:02:20,644 --> 00:02:22,602 How perfect is this? 64 00:02:22,646 --> 00:02:27,389 They delivered the crib, and I know just the crew of handy honeys 65 00:02:27,432 --> 00:02:28,782 to help me put it together. 66 00:02:28,825 --> 00:02:30,697 Uh, not now, Mom. I've had the worst day. 67 00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:31,698 Me, too. 68 00:02:31,741 --> 00:02:32,917 Quick, start crying. 69 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,918 We need to derail her enthusiasm before she's... 70 00:02:34,961 --> 00:02:36,703 Unh! Too late. 71 00:02:36,747 --> 00:02:37,965 She's dancing. 72 00:02:38,009 --> 00:02:40,228 Way to rock it, girlfriend! 73 00:02:41,186 --> 00:02:43,100 I cannot deny it anymore. 74 00:02:43,144 --> 00:02:45,930 I am turning into a white woman. 75 00:02:45,973 --> 00:02:48,545 [Indistinct talking] 76 00:02:48,551 --> 00:02:50,586 Is there a problem, girlfriends? 77 00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:52,066 Spin class was canceled! 78 00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:53,502 [Gasps] No! 79 00:02:53,545 --> 00:02:55,329 What are we gonna do with our day? 80 00:02:55,373 --> 00:02:56,810 "When In Doubt... 81 00:02:56,853 --> 00:02:57,854 Brunch." 82 00:02:57,897 --> 00:02:59,420 Where's the nearest place that serves kale 83 00:02:59,465 --> 00:03:01,336 and also has a pun in its name? 84 00:03:01,379 --> 00:03:03,643 There's an Underground Kale-Road down the street! 85 00:03:03,687 --> 00:03:05,992 - [Gasps] Thank God. - Let's go! 86 00:03:06,037 --> 00:03:07,865 I've gotten soft lately. 87 00:03:07,907 --> 00:03:10,170 I think I've lost my Colombian edge. 88 00:03:10,215 --> 00:03:12,739 I think we'll all feel better if we accomplish something. 89 00:03:12,782 --> 00:03:13,913 Yes. Unlike Jay. 90 00:03:13,957 --> 00:03:17,743 He's been going on these hunting trips for 20 years, 91 00:03:17,788 --> 00:03:21,094 and not once has he brought home a bald eagle! 92 00:03:21,139 --> 00:03:22,923 [Paper rustling] 93 00:03:25,925 --> 00:03:26,752 Oh, God. 94 00:03:26,796 --> 00:03:28,319 Hendrix couldn't read music, 95 00:03:28,362 --> 00:03:30,016 Shaq couldn't make free throws, 96 00:03:30,061 --> 00:03:32,846 and I have a little trouble visualizing space and scale. 97 00:03:32,889 --> 00:03:35,195 So, I think this closet design gives us everything we need 98 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,807 in a tight, residential space. 99 00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:37,807 Yeah. Very clever. 100 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,026 Take a walk-through. 101 00:03:39,069 --> 00:03:40,985 Does the flow make sense? 102 00:03:41,027 --> 00:03:41,942 Well, um... 103 00:03:41,985 --> 00:03:44,423 [Clears throat] I would get out of the shower 104 00:03:44,466 --> 00:03:47,033 and throw my clothes in the hamper here, 105 00:03:47,078 --> 00:03:48,600 pick out an outfit, and then get dressed right here. 106 00:03:48,644 --> 00:03:49,776 [Chuckles] 107 00:03:49,819 --> 00:03:51,473 You just threw your clothes in the fireplace 108 00:03:51,516 --> 00:03:53,170 and got dressed in front of the picture window. 109 00:03:53,213 --> 00:03:56,478 Well, you have your morning routine, Mia. 110 00:03:56,521 --> 00:03:58,437 I have mine. 111 00:03:59,275 --> 00:04:01,353 All right, let's get this over with. 112 00:04:01,395 --> 00:04:02,919 Mom, where do we start? 113 00:04:02,962 --> 00:04:03,872 Um... 114 00:04:03,902 --> 00:04:07,010 Maybe Mommy just needs some cougar juice! 115 00:04:07,054 --> 00:04:08,060 [Sighs] 116 00:04:08,155 --> 00:04:09,969 What's wrong with me? 117 00:04:11,389 --> 00:04:12,665 Watch your step, folks. 118 00:04:12,704 --> 00:04:15,627 Some of the terrain gets a little tricky on this part of the hike. 119 00:04:15,670 --> 00:04:16,802 - Oh. Good. - I thought I'd changed 120 00:04:16,846 --> 00:04:19,588 into my "Remote Trailhead" look too soon. 121 00:04:19,632 --> 00:04:21,589 You okay, Dad? Want to stop and take a break? 122 00:04:21,634 --> 00:04:23,983 No, no. I just want to stop and maybe see an eagle. 123 00:04:24,028 --> 00:04:25,332 Everybody look. 124 00:04:28,199 --> 00:04:30,250 You've been doing this for 20 years and never seen one, huh? 125 00:04:30,295 --> 00:04:31,949 Correct. Shh. 126 00:04:31,992 --> 00:04:33,427 [Quietly] Oh. 127 00:04:35,081 --> 00:04:36,954 Yeah. Mother Nature can be a real... 128 00:04:36,997 --> 00:04:39,043 [Quietly] Phil, stop talking! 129 00:04:39,086 --> 00:04:40,653 You're scaring the eagles! 130 00:04:40,696 --> 00:04:43,047 [Whispering] I'm sorry. My bad. My bad. 131 00:04:43,090 --> 00:04:45,875 - Also sorry in my head. - Oh, my God! 132 00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:48,182 Since we're talking again, uh, we should start heading back. 133 00:04:48,225 --> 00:04:49,661 It'll be dark soon. 134 00:04:49,704 --> 00:04:52,012 Or, if you'd like, there's a cabin just up this trail. 135 00:04:52,055 --> 00:04:53,187 It's pretty run-down, but, uh, 136 00:04:53,230 --> 00:04:54,274 you're welcome to spend the night. 137 00:04:54,319 --> 00:04:56,060 - I'll do it. - Oh. 138 00:04:56,103 --> 00:04:57,625 Are... Are we sure that's a good idea? 139 00:04:57,670 --> 00:04:59,889 Um... wasn't there... wasn't there mention of bears? 140 00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:02,196 No, you go home. I'll stay by myself. 141 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,060 [Whispering] We... We can't let him stay by himself. 142 00:05:04,089 --> 00:05:05,543 We told Gloria we'd keep him safe. 143 00:05:05,612 --> 00:05:07,223 Yeah, if he's staying, we're staying. 144 00:05:07,317 --> 00:05:09,971 Yeah. Yeah. What... What's the worst that could happen? 145 00:05:10,014 --> 00:05:11,668 I mean, in the movies, when city folk stay overnight 146 00:05:11,713 --> 00:05:14,541 in abandoned cabins, things usually pan out okay. 147 00:05:14,584 --> 00:05:16,586 Anyway, I'm gonna run ahead, see if they have any postcards 148 00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:19,242 up at this poorly guarded mental institution. 149 00:05:21,026 --> 00:05:22,898 Damn it, I'm starving. 150 00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:25,029 Nothing in here but an old bottle of whiskey. 151 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,031 Well, just try not to think about how hungry you are 152 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,643 or that Mitchell left the food in the bear box. 153 00:05:28,685 --> 00:05:30,644 We all left the food in the... 154 00:05:30,687 --> 00:05:31,471 Did you change again? 155 00:05:31,514 --> 00:05:32,473 [Camera clicks] 156 00:05:32,516 --> 00:05:33,908 Yeah, I just threw a few things together 157 00:05:33,951 --> 00:05:35,692 to create a "Rustic Cabin" look. 158 00:05:35,737 --> 00:05:38,303 Phil: Well, at least the bears won't be a concern. 159 00:05:38,348 --> 00:05:39,653 Take it from a Realtor. 160 00:05:39,697 --> 00:05:41,872 This Smith & Wiley lock is the gold standard. 161 00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:43,526 [Wind gusts] 162 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,560 - [Drill whirring] - All right, I think we are now ready 163 00:05:51,603 --> 00:05:56,100 to put together our beautiful, L-shaped crib. 164 00:05:56,144 --> 00:05:58,526 I-I... This can't be right. One's way bigger. 165 00:05:58,569 --> 00:06:00,995 And what, my babies are supposed to come and go as they please, 166 00:06:01,038 --> 00:06:02,526 like they're in a halfway house? 167 00:06:02,569 --> 00:06:05,889 Um, so, a minor misreading of the diagram. 168 00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:08,952 I think we're just gonna need to swap a short side for a long side. 169 00:06:08,995 --> 00:06:10,228 And in the meantime, we bent that bracket. 170 00:06:10,271 --> 00:06:12,654 Alex, would you mind running down to the hardware store? 171 00:06:12,697 --> 00:06:13,973 No way. 172 00:06:14,016 --> 00:06:15,889 I don't trust myself to drive anymore. 173 00:06:15,932 --> 00:06:17,846 I signed up to be the student liaison 174 00:06:17,889 --> 00:06:19,377 for a visiting scholar on campus... 175 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:20,911 Sir Kenneth Penrose. 176 00:06:20,954 --> 00:06:23,293 Yes, that Sir Kenneth Penrose. 177 00:06:23,336 --> 00:06:25,379 Rock star of the microbiology world. 178 00:06:25,422 --> 00:06:26,997 I know you must hear this a lot, 179 00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,740 but you're the reason I took up snooker. 180 00:06:28,783 --> 00:06:29,805 - [Chuckles] - Do you still play? 181 00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,762 I've had to lay down my cue lately. 182 00:06:31,805 --> 00:06:34,401 I've been working for months on an Ebola vaccine. 183 00:06:34,444 --> 00:06:36,060 Just moments ago, I had a breakthrough. 184 00:06:36,103 --> 00:06:37,975 I can't wait to get to the lab and jot... 185 00:06:38,018 --> 00:06:39,295 - Hey! - Aah! 186 00:06:39,336 --> 00:06:40,401 [Tires squealing] 187 00:06:40,444 --> 00:06:42,358 Whoa! That was my chemistry advisor. 188 00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:44,487 I would not want to be known as the girl who... 189 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:45,465 [Tires screech] 190 00:06:45,507 --> 00:06:47,677 - Sir Kenneth? - [Groans] 191 00:06:47,721 --> 00:06:49,125 W-Where am I? 192 00:06:49,168 --> 00:06:50,956 You don't know the shame. 193 00:06:50,997 --> 00:06:52,231 Now they won't let me drive around 194 00:06:52,274 --> 00:06:55,507 anyone smarter than a sociology professor. 195 00:06:55,552 --> 00:06:57,550 You know what else hit the ground today? Me. 196 00:06:57,593 --> 00:07:00,956 While I was bending over to pickup a doughnut off the floor! 197 00:07:00,999 --> 00:07:02,658 It was covered in dust balls, but I didn't care, 198 00:07:02,701 --> 00:07:04,189 'cause I'm a disgusting pig monster. 199 00:07:04,232 --> 00:07:05,168 Oh, honey, please. 200 00:07:05,211 --> 00:07:06,572 You're as... 201 00:07:06,615 --> 00:07:07,891 as beautiful as ever. 202 00:07:07,935 --> 00:07:09,723 Tell that to MugScan. 203 00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:13,425 MugScan is a face-recognition program we use at work. 204 00:07:13,468 --> 00:07:15,211 It was really mean to me. 205 00:07:15,254 --> 00:07:16,783 [Computer beeping] 206 00:07:16,824 --> 00:07:17,846 Good morning, Wayne. 207 00:07:17,889 --> 00:07:18,826 Wayne? 208 00:07:18,867 --> 00:07:20,654 I'm not Wayne, you jerk! 209 00:07:20,697 --> 00:07:21,634 [Groans] 210 00:07:21,677 --> 00:07:23,463 Gosh! 211 00:07:23,505 --> 00:07:25,548 [Can clatters] 212 00:07:25,591 --> 00:07:26,528 [Blows] 213 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,507 [Crunches] 214 00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:30,060 [Pop, air hissing] 215 00:07:30,103 --> 00:07:31,634 [Sighs] 216 00:07:31,677 --> 00:07:32,444 You all right, Haley? 217 00:07:33,463 --> 00:07:35,507 I'm fine, Wayne. 218 00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:37,848 One of my shoes flew off in the fall, 219 00:07:37,889 --> 00:07:40,358 and I couldn't put it back on because my feet were so swollen. 220 00:07:40,401 --> 00:07:43,252 You know who makes a great shoe? New Balance. 221 00:07:43,295 --> 00:07:45,379 I wear them when I power-walk to Neil Diamond. 222 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:46,317 [Inhales sharply] 223 00:07:46,358 --> 00:07:49,252 Hey, Mom, is this divider a little too high? 224 00:07:49,295 --> 00:07:50,911 No. No, it's supposed to be that way. 225 00:07:50,956 --> 00:07:53,295 That way, if one twin wants to visit the other, 226 00:07:53,338 --> 00:07:56,656 he can just go, "Ah, doot, doot, doot. Hi!" 227 00:07:56,699 --> 00:07:58,529 - Aaaah! - Hey! 228 00:07:58,572 --> 00:07:59,593 [Smacks lips] 229 00:07:59,637 --> 00:08:02,019 Couple thoughts. 230 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,913 - Pair of 7s. - Ace high. 231 00:08:04,956 --> 00:08:07,764 Everyone, I'd like you to meet Don Lemon and RuPaul, 232 00:08:07,807 --> 00:08:09,595 - a pair of black queens. - [Sighs] 233 00:08:09,637 --> 00:08:11,680 Mitchell, that's the third time you've wandered over there. 234 00:08:11,721 --> 00:08:12,870 What are you doing? 235 00:08:12,913 --> 00:08:14,956 - [Muffled] Nothing. - He's got something in his mouth. 236 00:08:14,999 --> 00:08:16,574 - Get him! - No. No, I don't. - Come here! 237 00:08:16,615 --> 00:08:19,084 - No, no, no! [Grunts] - Don't... Don't fight. Don't... 238 00:08:19,127 --> 00:08:20,148 He has beef jerky! 239 00:08:20,190 --> 00:08:21,271 That's the last of it. I swear. 240 00:08:21,331 --> 00:08:23,425 - He's lying. Check his pockets. - No, I... [Grunts] 241 00:08:23,468 --> 00:08:25,612 - Stop it, stop it, stop it! - It's a family pack! 242 00:08:25,704 --> 00:08:27,875 I hope the jerky was as delicious as the irony. 243 00:08:27,917 --> 00:08:29,788 - Give it! - No, stop it! Stop it... 244 00:08:29,831 --> 00:08:31,363 No! 245 00:08:31,406 --> 00:08:32,384 Great. 246 00:08:32,427 --> 00:08:34,087 We're sending beef smoke signals 247 00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:35,662 to a forest full of bears. 248 00:08:35,705 --> 00:08:37,448 I'm sorry! I should've shared! 249 00:08:37,491 --> 00:08:39,789 Meanwhile, there is a sack full of hiking snacks 250 00:08:39,832 --> 00:08:40,769 just up the road! 251 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:41,748 Brie, prosciutto, 252 00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:44,344 not to mention a wonderful maple-walnut butter 253 00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:46,642 that Gloria recommended on her Pinterest board. 254 00:08:46,684 --> 00:08:47,620 That's it. I'm going out there. 255 00:08:47,663 --> 00:08:48,599 Jay, wait! 256 00:08:48,642 --> 00:08:51,195 If you see a bear, remember... 257 00:08:51,236 --> 00:08:52,769 blind it with the flash on your phone, 258 00:08:52,812 --> 00:08:54,855 then lie on your back in a submissive pose. 259 00:08:54,897 --> 00:08:56,982 I'm not doing that. If I come face-to-face with a bear, 260 00:08:57,024 --> 00:08:58,004 he better run! 261 00:09:03,239 --> 00:09:04,727 It's darker out there... 262 00:09:04,769 --> 00:09:06,259 Aaaaaaaah! 263 00:09:07,918 --> 00:09:09,706 Are you sure it was the best idea 264 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,366 to attach these before moving them upstairs? 265 00:09:11,409 --> 00:09:14,600 Yeah, I eyeballed the space. It really should fit easily. 266 00:09:14,643 --> 00:09:16,217 - Ow! - [Grunts] 267 00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:18,515 Except Alex apparently has steered us into a jam. 268 00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:19,302 [Doorbell rings] 269 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,664 Oh, that must be the pizza guy. Coming, Carl! 270 00:09:21,707 --> 00:09:23,537 You know the pizza guy's name? 271 00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:24,729 No! 272 00:09:27,197 --> 00:09:28,985 - Hi. - Hey, Haley. 273 00:09:29,028 --> 00:09:31,368 Surprised to get an order from you before midnight. 274 00:09:31,411 --> 00:09:33,836 By the way, how'd you like that custom shrimp and potato pizza? 275 00:09:33,879 --> 00:09:36,899 [Laughing] I don't even know what you're talking about. 276 00:09:36,942 --> 00:09:38,303 [Quietly] Loved it. Love you. 277 00:09:38,346 --> 00:09:39,495 [Normal voice] Gonna go get my wallet! 278 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:42,432 [Cellphone rings] 279 00:09:42,475 --> 00:09:44,220 - [Cellphone beeps] - Mom? 280 00:09:44,261 --> 00:09:45,030 Okay. 281 00:09:45,087 --> 00:09:47,455 Alex, run downstairs and get a screwdriver. 282 00:09:47,496 --> 00:09:49,496 This whole thing will fit easily once we take the cribs apart. 283 00:09:49,538 --> 00:09:50,432 Gloria: We don't even know 284 00:09:50,475 --> 00:09:52,985 if this thing is gonna fit through the bedroom door. 285 00:09:53,028 --> 00:09:54,432 Of course it will. 286 00:09:54,475 --> 00:09:57,241 But if it makes you happy, I will measure again. 287 00:09:57,284 --> 00:09:58,647 Hmm. 288 00:09:58,688 --> 00:10:00,221 Hmm? 289 00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:03,880 See? 290 00:10:03,923 --> 00:10:04,903 [Creaking] 291 00:10:06,986 --> 00:10:08,647 You always record over my programs... 292 00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:09,966 Whoa! 293 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:11,456 Gah! Aah! 294 00:10:11,498 --> 00:10:13,583 - Oh! - Ow! 295 00:10:16,009 --> 00:10:17,668 Okay, no, how about this? 296 00:10:17,711 --> 00:10:20,587 We all band together to form one big man 297 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:21,370 to go get the food. 298 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,691 - Cameron: No! - How's that supposed to work? 299 00:10:22,732 --> 00:10:24,601 Okay, back to back, um, and... and then link arms. 300 00:10:24,687 --> 00:10:26,538 - Okay. - Turn around, give me your arm. 301 00:10:26,629 --> 00:10:28,288 See, look? Like this, all right? 302 00:10:28,331 --> 00:10:31,011 - Do we look big and scary? - Well, I think so. 303 00:10:31,054 --> 00:10:32,799 Let's move towards the door. 304 00:10:32,842 --> 00:10:34,932 [Owl hooting] 305 00:10:34,937 --> 00:10:36,673 Okay. 306 00:10:36,715 --> 00:10:38,841 Nice and easy. 307 00:10:38,884 --> 00:10:43,735 We're just one big man out for a walk in the woods. 308 00:10:43,778 --> 00:10:44,971 - [Twig cracks] - Scatter! 309 00:10:45,013 --> 00:10:46,587 Aah! 310 00:10:46,630 --> 00:10:47,993 [Panting] 311 00:10:48,034 --> 00:10:49,693 We made it. Oh! 312 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,260 Wait! Where's Mitchell? 313 00:10:51,303 --> 00:10:52,282 He didn't make it! 314 00:10:52,325 --> 00:10:53,474 One of you two need to go get him! 315 00:10:53,515 --> 00:10:55,346 I'm better staying here as a bear decoy. 316 00:10:55,389 --> 00:10:56,623 I give off a natural musk. 317 00:10:56,665 --> 00:10:59,219 Birds land on me all the time. Squirrels eat out of my hand. 318 00:10:59,261 --> 00:11:01,177 Well, I can't go! Lily needs at least one living parent! 319 00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:03,134 [Pounding on door] 320 00:11:03,177 --> 00:11:04,155 Wait! 321 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,432 How do we know it's not the bear? 322 00:11:05,475 --> 00:11:06,410 Mitchell: It's me! 323 00:11:06,453 --> 00:11:07,815 [Door opens] 324 00:11:07,857 --> 00:11:09,220 You just left me! 325 00:11:09,261 --> 00:11:10,568 Oh, you weren't out there that long. 326 00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:11,894 You didn't get the food?! 327 00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:13,172 I almost was food! 328 00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,894 Okay, I-I wish I never even came on this stupid trip! 329 00:11:15,937 --> 00:11:16,917 Well, who forced you? 330 00:11:16,958 --> 00:11:18,815 - Gloria! - [Cameron gasps] 331 00:11:23,235 --> 00:11:24,763 It's my delivery ankle. 332 00:11:24,806 --> 00:11:26,293 It's really bad, dudes. 333 00:11:26,335 --> 00:11:28,969 It was already weak from your paintball injury, Carl. 334 00:11:29,010 --> 00:11:30,498 I told you to get it checked out, 335 00:11:30,539 --> 00:11:31,730 but you and doctors. 336 00:11:33,131 --> 00:11:35,509 Okay, fine, I know him a little. 337 00:11:35,552 --> 00:11:37,209 When it rains, it pours, huh? 338 00:11:37,251 --> 00:11:38,399 - Margaret-Anne left me this morning. - Aw! 339 00:11:38,441 --> 00:11:41,116 Then my dad called me "Craig" on the phone again. 340 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,647 That's the name of his new son. 341 00:11:42,688 --> 00:11:44,812 Oh, God. Carl, can we at least drive you home? 342 00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,129 Not now. 343 00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:48,975 I have 10 pizzas going to my enemies, the Sigmas. 344 00:11:49,018 --> 00:11:51,735 Those rich kids get their kicks taking advantage 345 00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:52,969 of our "30 Minutes or it's Free" policy... 346 00:11:53,010 --> 00:11:54,923 use every trick in the book to slow me down. 347 00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:56,961 Well, not tonight, Chad and Chip. 348 00:11:57,004 --> 00:11:58,109 Not to... Aaaah! 349 00:11:58,150 --> 00:12:00,062 The bone's got to be sticking out, right? 350 00:12:00,105 --> 00:12:02,610 No, it's not even swollen. 351 00:12:02,653 --> 00:12:04,607 Look, Carl, we've all had rough days. 352 00:12:04,649 --> 00:12:06,519 Why don't you let us finish this delivery for you? 353 00:12:06,562 --> 00:12:08,515 Okay, but we've only got, like, 10 minutes. 354 00:12:08,557 --> 00:12:09,577 Let's go, then! Come here. 355 00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:10,850 - Okay. - Come on! 356 00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:13,400 It'll feel good to get something right today. 357 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,864 Plus, I wouldn't mind sticking it to some preppy, white jerks. 358 00:12:15,905 --> 00:12:19,049 Hey! That life comes with its own problems! 359 00:12:23,340 --> 00:12:25,208 [Sighs] Don't be mad, Dad. 360 00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:26,696 Gloria was just worried about you. 361 00:12:26,738 --> 00:12:28,054 I don't want to talk about it. 362 00:12:28,096 --> 00:12:29,838 Let's just have a drink and be quiet. 363 00:12:32,727 --> 00:12:35,105 Lot of colors in that fire, huh? 364 00:12:35,149 --> 00:12:37,485 Red, green... 365 00:12:37,528 --> 00:12:39,142 - yellow, blue... - Geez. Okay. 366 00:12:39,183 --> 00:12:41,860 What is this yammering with you?! Seriously! 367 00:12:41,903 --> 00:12:43,091 I don't know. 368 00:12:44,536 --> 00:12:47,509 I guess I just don't like being alone with my own thoughts. 369 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,908 Maybe it's because I have a couple of grandkids on the way, 370 00:12:50,951 --> 00:12:52,565 but now, if... if things get too quiet, 371 00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:54,942 my mind goes to a dark place fast. 372 00:12:54,985 --> 00:12:57,450 I start to worry about the people that I love 373 00:12:57,491 --> 00:12:59,318 and all the bad things that could happen to them. 374 00:13:00,508 --> 00:13:03,523 I suppose talking... pushes those thoughts out 375 00:13:03,566 --> 00:13:05,350 and helps me feel okay. 376 00:13:05,392 --> 00:13:06,793 I get it. 377 00:13:06,836 --> 00:13:08,280 We can all spiral. 378 00:13:08,322 --> 00:13:10,023 But you can't talk your way out of it. 379 00:13:10,066 --> 00:13:12,614 You got to think your way out of it. 380 00:13:12,655 --> 00:13:14,695 You know, find a happy place. 381 00:13:14,738 --> 00:13:16,224 Try this. 382 00:13:16,267 --> 00:13:18,432 30 seconds, no talking. Go. 383 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,576 [Exhales sharply] 384 00:13:34,822 --> 00:13:36,477 - Buddy, where are you? - I'm back. Yep. 385 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,559 You know, I think we can learn a lot from this guy, 386 00:13:38,601 --> 00:13:39,749 because it's not the... 387 00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:42,764 the bears out there that we're afraid of. 388 00:13:42,807 --> 00:13:43,953 It's the bears in our lives... 389 00:13:43,995 --> 00:13:46,375 the fear that keeps us up at night. 390 00:13:46,418 --> 00:13:49,264 And I think that's an interesting topic we can return to 391 00:13:49,307 --> 00:13:51,684 once I change into my "Fireside Chat" look. 392 00:13:51,726 --> 00:13:53,001 Another wardrobe change? 393 00:13:53,044 --> 00:13:55,296 You're like a sultan's bride on her wedding day. 394 00:13:55,337 --> 00:13:57,207 Go ahead... make fun of me. 395 00:13:57,249 --> 00:13:58,650 I like my outfits. 396 00:13:58,693 --> 00:13:59,969 Why so many? 397 00:14:00,010 --> 00:14:01,370 Yeah, I guess when I was a kid, 398 00:14:01,412 --> 00:14:03,196 I realized I wasn't ever gonna fit in, 399 00:14:03,239 --> 00:14:05,065 so I decided to stand out. 400 00:14:05,107 --> 00:14:06,976 I embraced my flamboyance 401 00:14:07,019 --> 00:14:09,312 to let the world know their insults won't hurt me. 402 00:14:09,355 --> 00:14:11,649 Want to make a joke about me? Go ahead, 'cause I'm in on it. 403 00:14:11,692 --> 00:14:12,966 [Chuckles] 404 00:14:13,009 --> 00:14:15,048 That's really beautiful, Cam. 405 00:14:15,090 --> 00:14:17,298 And you're not alone. 406 00:14:17,341 --> 00:14:20,611 Growing up, we were all insecure nerds in our own way. 407 00:14:22,566 --> 00:14:24,010 I was cool. 408 00:14:26,687 --> 00:14:28,811 What? I thought we were sharing. 409 00:14:28,852 --> 00:14:31,486 That's very brave, Cam. That's good stuff. 410 00:14:35,691 --> 00:14:37,602 Are you crazy?! I shouldn't be the one driving! 411 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,557 There is no time to argue! Just go! Come on! 412 00:14:39,599 --> 00:14:41,732 [Tires squeal] 413 00:14:41,788 --> 00:14:43,738 Thanks so much for making me part of your group. 414 00:14:43,779 --> 00:14:46,243 It's not every day you make four new best friends. 415 00:14:47,644 --> 00:14:49,344 [Scoffs] Why are they going so slow?! 416 00:14:49,386 --> 00:14:50,702 I can't get past them! 417 00:14:50,745 --> 00:14:52,486 This is one of Sigma's tactics. 418 00:14:52,529 --> 00:14:53,634 They track my location on the app 419 00:14:53,677 --> 00:14:55,461 and send pledges to try to slow me down. 420 00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:56,607 Ugh! What am I gonna do?! 421 00:14:56,649 --> 00:14:58,179 - [Seat belt unbuckles] - I'll handle this. 422 00:14:58,221 --> 00:15:00,217 Carl, I'm taking your paintball guns! 423 00:15:00,772 --> 00:15:03,361 Move! Or I move you! 424 00:15:07,821 --> 00:15:09,139 I do still have my edge! 425 00:15:09,181 --> 00:15:10,115 Yes! 426 00:15:10,158 --> 00:15:11,389 [Laughs] 427 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:13,216 Will you join my paintball team? 428 00:15:13,259 --> 00:15:14,448 [Tires screech] 429 00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:15,409 What is that?! 430 00:15:15,490 --> 00:15:17,251 Field of Minions. Classic Sigmas. 431 00:15:17,294 --> 00:15:19,418 Don't get distracted by the cuteness. We only have five minutes. 432 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:20,735 Claire: Just go around them. 433 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:22,859 [Women groaning] 434 00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:27,620 Oh, my God, I did it! 435 00:15:27,663 --> 00:15:28,894 And you're all still in the car! 436 00:15:28,937 --> 00:15:30,509 Okay, now, we can't give them any reason to say 437 00:15:30,552 --> 00:15:31,614 that we didn't fill the order perfectly, 438 00:15:31,655 --> 00:15:33,227 so check the pizzas, make sure they didn't shift. 439 00:15:33,270 --> 00:15:35,309 Oh, Haley, I'm sure you're worrying about nothing... 440 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:37,094 - [Tires squeal] - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 441 00:15:41,426 --> 00:15:43,167 Carl, do you have a pizza slicer? 442 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,375 Only the commemorative one I got for 10 years of service. 443 00:15:45,418 --> 00:15:46,990 Give it to me. I have a vision. 444 00:15:47,832 --> 00:15:50,048 Shaq and Hendrix never got past their blind spots. 445 00:15:50,091 --> 00:15:52,003 Maybe they didn't want it enough. 446 00:15:52,044 --> 00:15:54,595 Turning 9 pizzas into 10 was a simple matter 447 00:15:54,629 --> 00:15:56,557 of removing one slice from each pie, 448 00:15:56,591 --> 00:15:58,205 then trimming off a V-shaped portion of pizza 449 00:15:58,246 --> 00:15:59,818 from each of the remaining slices, 450 00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:01,730 turning them from 36-degree angles to 40-degree angles, 451 00:16:01,773 --> 00:16:03,428 then putting together the 40-degree angles 452 00:16:03,471 --> 00:16:05,298 into nine slightly smaller pies. 453 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:07,677 After that, one had only to repurpose 454 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,630 the nine previously removed slices 455 00:16:09,673 --> 00:16:10,607 into a 10th pie. 456 00:16:11,543 --> 00:16:13,412 And... 10! 457 00:16:13,453 --> 00:16:14,600 It worked! 458 00:16:14,644 --> 00:16:15,663 It really did. 459 00:16:15,706 --> 00:16:17,447 I do have a visual brain. 460 00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:18,297 That was your thing? 461 00:16:18,338 --> 00:16:20,548 I do not miss having white-people problems. 462 00:16:20,590 --> 00:16:21,440 [Tires screech] 463 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,365 Alex: We're here! I did it! 464 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,772 We only have a minute to get the pizzas inside. Let's go! 465 00:16:25,815 --> 00:16:28,024 Oh, wait, wait, wait! Uh, the frat has a video doorbell. 466 00:16:28,067 --> 00:16:30,231 If they see it's a delivery, they try to run out the clock. 467 00:16:30,274 --> 00:16:32,270 I'll handle this. 468 00:16:33,928 --> 00:16:35,245 [Whispering] Stay on that side. 469 00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:36,774 [Doorbell buzzes] 470 00:16:36,817 --> 00:16:37,921 Frat guy: Yeah? 471 00:16:37,962 --> 00:16:40,001 [Slurring] Hi. Um...[Laughs] 472 00:16:40,044 --> 00:16:42,806 I go to U of A, and I'm super drunk. 473 00:16:42,847 --> 00:16:45,736 Is there a place where I can sober up for the night? 474 00:16:45,778 --> 00:16:47,477 [Gate buzzes] 475 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:50,494 At least my looks can still get me into a frat house. 476 00:16:50,537 --> 00:16:51,556 Okay, guys, go, go! 477 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,955 10 pizzas on time. 478 00:16:54,996 --> 00:16:55,846 Pay up! 479 00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:57,248 You guys with Carl? 480 00:16:57,290 --> 00:16:59,287 We are Carl. 481 00:17:01,538 --> 00:17:03,322 Come on, hurry up! A bet's a bet! 482 00:17:03,365 --> 00:17:05,616 I told you I could stand on one leg longer than you! 483 00:17:05,657 --> 00:17:07,994 You're the only one whose balance gets better 484 00:17:08,038 --> 00:17:09,778 after drinking a jug of whiskey. 485 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,157 All right. My follower is gonna love this! 486 00:17:12,201 --> 00:17:13,220 Everybody say "Cheese!" 487 00:17:13,262 --> 00:17:14,409 - Together: Cheese. - Yes. 488 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,151 Okay, now, that is how you build a brand. 489 00:17:16,192 --> 00:17:18,741 Well, I guess we should kill the rest of this whiskey. 490 00:17:18,785 --> 00:17:20,057 But then we'll have nothing to serve the murderers 491 00:17:20,101 --> 00:17:21,119 when they arrive. 492 00:17:21,163 --> 00:17:22,650 You know, you joke, 493 00:17:22,692 --> 00:17:25,452 but you have a certain paranoia about you. 494 00:17:25,496 --> 00:17:26,557 What... What's behind that? 495 00:17:26,601 --> 00:17:27,535 Well... 496 00:17:27,577 --> 00:17:29,827 Ooh! Are we about to hear about Mitchell's bear? 497 00:17:29,871 --> 00:17:32,079 Uh, okay. It... It's, um... 498 00:17:32,122 --> 00:17:33,949 I've never told anyone this, but, uh, 499 00:17:33,990 --> 00:17:36,412 a fortune teller once predicted 500 00:17:36,454 --> 00:17:38,749 that I would not live to see my 46th winter. 501 00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:41,595 Was that that kook that used to live next door to us? 502 00:17:41,636 --> 00:17:42,443 She's nuts. 503 00:17:42,487 --> 00:17:45,289 She told your mother she was gonna win a Tony one day. 504 00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:47,669 But she was right about a lot of other things. 505 00:17:47,711 --> 00:17:50,133 She said that I'd become a lawyer. 506 00:17:50,174 --> 00:17:52,596 She said that I would marry a clown one day. 507 00:17:52,637 --> 00:17:54,465 Laughed a long time about that one. 508 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:55,357 Why? 509 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,480 Anyway, I-I guess my "bear" 510 00:17:57,522 --> 00:17:58,840 is the fear of dying young. 511 00:17:58,883 --> 00:18:01,304 Uh, I mean, if that fortune teller's right, 512 00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:03,470 I only have three more years to live. 513 00:18:03,512 --> 00:18:05,126 Well, y-you know what? The way I see it, 514 00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:07,165 this little curse is actually a gift... 515 00:18:07,208 --> 00:18:10,011 a reason to live life to the fullest. 516 00:18:10,054 --> 00:18:11,711 And have no regrets. 517 00:18:11,753 --> 00:18:15,193 Okay, so we're all just accepting this 46-year thing as true? 518 00:18:15,237 --> 00:18:16,766 We've made our peace with it. 519 00:18:16,807 --> 00:18:17,913 And so should you. 520 00:18:17,954 --> 00:18:20,673 Why not just live your limited days 521 00:18:20,715 --> 00:18:22,627 with leaving nothing unsaid? 522 00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:25,176 Tell the people who matter the most how you feel. 523 00:18:25,219 --> 00:18:27,784 I tell you and Lily I love you every single day. 524 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,933 True. What about Phil? 525 00:18:29,977 --> 00:18:32,779 He did text me with a "Love ya" this morning. 526 00:18:32,823 --> 00:18:33,757 Close enough. 527 00:18:33,799 --> 00:18:35,201 And your dad? 528 00:18:39,449 --> 00:18:40,510 Seriously?! 529 00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:42,380 I just have a hard time saying that word to him. 530 00:18:42,423 --> 00:18:43,993 Which is fine for the both of us. 531 00:18:44,037 --> 00:18:45,141 Okay, well, it sounds like 532 00:18:45,183 --> 00:18:47,038 you might be uncomfortable with that word, too. 533 00:18:47,104 --> 00:18:49,387 No! I don't have a problem with it. I use it all the time. 534 00:18:49,431 --> 00:18:50,705 I'm always saying I love things. I... 535 00:18:50,748 --> 00:18:53,721 I love the feel of toasty socks out of the microwave. 536 00:18:53,763 --> 00:18:56,567 I love the far-off sound of a train whistle. 537 00:18:56,609 --> 00:18:59,413 You know, "Ooh! What adventure have they gotten off to?" 538 00:18:59,455 --> 00:19:01,500 I l... I love watching a baby stretch. 539 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:04,769 Those are all good things in your life, Jay, but... 540 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,130 what's your "bear"? 541 00:19:06,172 --> 00:19:06,894 I don't have one. 542 00:19:06,936 --> 00:19:08,464 Oh, come on! We all told you ours. 543 00:19:08,508 --> 00:19:10,503 Now, when you get to my age, 544 00:19:10,547 --> 00:19:13,349 there are less things that you're afraid of. 545 00:19:13,393 --> 00:19:15,134 Except maybe... 546 00:19:15,176 --> 00:19:16,749 being a burden to your family. 547 00:19:17,386 --> 00:19:18,661 Which is starting already, 548 00:19:18,702 --> 00:19:21,463 because Gloria forced you guys to babysit me, 549 00:19:21,507 --> 00:19:24,480 which is why I wanted to spend the night here 550 00:19:24,522 --> 00:19:28,557 so I could prove I'm not some... frail old man. 551 00:19:29,406 --> 00:19:30,681 But, if I'm being honest, 552 00:19:30,723 --> 00:19:34,291 that hike gets tougher for me every year. 553 00:19:34,334 --> 00:19:37,647 And I was relieved that I didn't have to do it alone. 554 00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:38,922 Oh, Dad. 555 00:19:38,963 --> 00:19:40,451 You could never be a burden. 556 00:19:40,493 --> 00:19:42,957 Yeah, you're the one who's always taking care of all of us. 557 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,802 We'd love the chance to return the favor. 558 00:19:47,248 --> 00:19:48,903 All right. It's getting late. 559 00:19:48,947 --> 00:19:50,986 This mountain pimp outfit's making me sweat. 560 00:19:51,028 --> 00:19:52,174 Let's... Let's get some rest. 561 00:19:53,346 --> 00:19:54,766 - Good night. - Good night. 562 00:19:54,808 --> 00:19:56,507 I'll take the sofa. 563 00:19:56,549 --> 00:19:57,740 Sure you're gonna be okay out here? 564 00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,310 - Yeah, I'll be fine. - Okay. 565 00:20:01,221 --> 00:20:03,346 Do... Do you want me to grab you an extra blanket or something? 566 00:20:03,388 --> 00:20:05,750 No, no. I'll get something if I need it. 567 00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:08,528 Okay. Well... 568 00:20:09,536 --> 00:20:10,912 Good night. [Chuckles] 569 00:20:15,776 --> 00:20:17,192 I know. 570 00:20:21,314 --> 00:20:23,185 [Eagle calling] 571 00:20:25,971 --> 00:20:28,104 [Branches shift, wings flapping] 572 00:20:32,653 --> 00:20:35,500 - [Door opens] - All right, Dad. We're ready to go. 573 00:20:35,536 --> 00:20:36,377 Yeah, Jay. 574 00:20:36,413 --> 00:20:38,990 I'm sorry you didn't see a bald eagle this time around. 575 00:20:39,032 --> 00:20:40,643 Y-Yeah. It's too bad. 576 00:20:40,686 --> 00:20:43,080 I guess we'll all have to come back here again next year. 577 00:20:43,124 --> 00:20:44,343 Together: Yeah. 578 00:20:44,385 --> 00:20:46,126 I don't know about you guys, but I slept great. 579 00:20:46,171 --> 00:20:49,130 That cot was so soft. I'm not always a sound sleeper. 580 00:20:49,173 --> 00:20:52,089 Been meaning to try that melatonin. I hear it's a real game-changer. 581 00:20:52,133 --> 00:20:53,874 And you can get it anywhere nowadays. 582 00:20:53,917 --> 00:20:55,222 Has it always been over-the-counter? 583 00:20:55,267 --> 00:20:57,095 Kind of a funny phrase, isn't it... "over-the-counter"? 584 00:21:00,422 --> 00:21:02,465 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 42697

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