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It was destiny that brought the
great Sherlock Holmes into my life
2
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that fateful day I met the finest most compassionate
most beautiful man I would ever have the honor to know.
3
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,895
You look radiant this morning my darling.
4
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Green and proud.
Not a blemish on your perfect skin.
5
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:50,999
Oh you beautiful green succulent bitch.
6
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,332
I first met him after my return from the Afghan war.
7
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The war had left me with a broken leg,
and a broken spirit.
8
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I was in dire straits.
9
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Do you like this?
Hmm?
10
00:02:03,555 --> 00:02:08,887
I was going to end it all, but that terrible
moment became the greatest of my life.
11
00:02:08,888 --> 00:02:12,999
You unforgiving turd.
He saw I was about to jump to my death,
12
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,999
and he immediately tried to stop me.
Get out of the way! I''m going to jump!
13
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:22,555
Jump... into that garden, over there.
Are you telling me not to jump?
14
00:02:22,556 --> 00:02:26,777
There are many other ways you could kill yourself.
We had instant connection
15
00:02:26,778 --> 00:02:31,554
This man cares about me.
A little cup of poison, dead.
16
00:02:31,555 --> 00:02:34,555
He gave me a reason to live.
We'll go and have a drink.
17
00:02:34,556 --> 00:02:41,000
I will get my gun and fill your heart...
full of bullets.
18
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:45,640
Yes! Right in the heart.
It's crazy, but I love you too!
19
00:02:45,641 --> 00:02:50,222
This man of great compassion.
I'm losing patience with you.
20
00:02:50,223 --> 00:02:55,999
You're right!
Life really is worth living!
21
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,200
No no no no!
22
00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:00,300
No.
23
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:06,400
You saved me.
I'm alive! Your giant vegetable saved me.
24
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:12,000
Thank you my new friend!
I'm in your debt forever!
25
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:17,600
Oh God.
It has been my honor ever since.
26
00:03:17,601 --> 00:03:24,941
John Watson.
Yes, Hi. Sherlock Holmes.
27
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,644
Extra! Extra!
Read all about it!
28
00:03:58,645 --> 00:04:00,889
Moriarty's crime spree over!
29
00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:04,615
Professor James Moriarty
faces justice today!
30
00:04:04,616 --> 00:04:07,221
The Napoleon of crime on trial!
31
00:04:07,222 --> 00:04:11,388
- Greatest criminal in the empire!
- That's fake news.
32
00:04:11,389 --> 00:04:13,954
Professor James Moriarty.
33
00:04:13,955 --> 00:04:16,679
You have been the organizer
of half that is evil
34
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:21,700
and all that goes undetected
in this great city.
35
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:25,254
Today, you are charged with
murder in the first degree,
36
00:04:25,255 --> 00:04:29,262
but all the witnesses have died.
37
00:04:29,263 --> 00:04:37,318
Without said witnesses, I have
no choice but to set you free.
38
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:39,161
Inspector Lestrade,
39
00:04:39,162 --> 00:04:45,453
you simply must take
better care of your witnesses.
40
00:04:45,454 --> 00:04:47,136
Mark my words,
41
00:04:47,137 --> 00:04:49,701
Sherlock Holmes is
on his way and, with him,
42
00:04:49,702 --> 00:04:52,747
the evidence that will
damn you to the noose.
43
00:04:52,748 --> 00:04:56,675
Then we should all pray he arrives soon,
for, on the strike of noon,
44
00:04:56,676 --> 00:04:59,119
I shall have to release this menace.
45
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:00,683
Sherlock will be here.
46
00:05:00,684 --> 00:05:10,704
He is about to burst through
those doors right now.
47
00:05:11,543 --> 00:05:14,670
Stop this trial at once!
48
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,152
I, Sherlock Holmes,
49
00:05:16,153 --> 00:05:19,639
have solved the case
of Professor James Moriarty.
50
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,323
Wonderful.
Wonderful, Holmes.
51
00:05:22,324 --> 00:05:25,410
A dramatic entrance worthy
of your greatest achievement.
52
00:05:25,411 --> 00:05:28,255
Watson, did you notice my emphasis
53
00:05:28,256 --> 00:05:30,539
on "Professor James Moriarty"?
54
00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:31,982
Yes, with the finger, yes.
55
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:33,785
Much better than the hand.
Yes.
56
00:05:33,786 --> 00:05:36,710
Instead of the karate chop,
I went to the index finger.
57
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,474
Yes, it's the best one yet.
58
00:05:38,475 --> 00:05:41,239
This is the moment everyone's
been waiting for. Right here.
59
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,726
Yes, and they're literally
waiting for it now.
60
00:05:44,727 --> 00:05:46,369
Oh, yes.
You must get dressed.
61
00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:47,731
Yes?
Very well.
62
00:05:47,732 --> 00:05:49,455
There we are.
There are your things.
63
00:05:49,456 --> 00:05:51,339
Remember, trial of the century. Yes.
64
00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:53,423
We have but...
Oh, let's see now.
65
00:05:53,424 --> 00:05:55,507
Just 16 minutes left, Holmes.
66
00:05:55,508 --> 00:05:58,352
Speed is of the essence. - Nearly there?
- Nearly there.
67
00:05:58,353 --> 00:06:02,279
A sniff of morning cocaine
always helps the brain. Ah!
68
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,602
Come now, Sherlock.
69
00:06:03,603 --> 00:06:05,526
We mustn't let that trial conclude.
70
00:06:05,527 --> 00:06:09,333
For this occasion,
I have selected a new hat.
71
00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:12,820
From now on, when people utter
the name "Sherlock Holmes,"
72
00:06:12,821 --> 00:06:17,301
they will picture this.
73
00:06:18,631 --> 00:06:21,275
Brilliant. Can we go?
74
00:06:21,276 --> 00:06:23,720
Your furrowed brow
betrays your lying lips.
75
00:06:23,721 --> 00:06:25,430
Oh, no.
76
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:26,445
Not to worry.
77
00:06:26,446 --> 00:06:27,727
Ta-da!
78
00:06:27,728 --> 00:06:29,732
Hey, there, cowboy.
79
00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:31,656
That's the one. That's the one.
Bang, bang.
80
00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:33,258
We should leave, yes?
81
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:35,620
Oh!
Aye, aye.
82
00:06:35,630 --> 00:06:36,785
I say, I like that one very much.
83
00:06:36,786 --> 00:06:39,350
You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes.
84
00:06:39,351 --> 00:06:42,836
Mrs. Hudson,
what do you think of this one?
85
00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:46,683
Me? I'm just a housekeeper
from the Glasgow slums.
86
00:06:46,684 --> 00:06:50,931
The likes of me telling the likes
of you what to put on his noggin?
87
00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,334
Good point.
88
00:06:52,335 --> 00:06:57,745
Back to your monkey work, Hudson.
89
00:06:57,746 --> 00:07:00,290
- Perfect, right?
- May I show you a few more hats?
90
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,953
- No!
- Someone's left a wee box.
91
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:03,315
What are you going on about?
92
00:07:03,316 --> 00:07:07,524
I never even heard anyone knocking.
Did you hear anything?
93
00:07:07,525 --> 00:07:10,575
How very queer.
94
00:07:11,372 --> 00:07:14,657
- Queerer and queerer.
- Hmm.
95
00:07:14,658 --> 00:07:16,598
Very odd.
96
00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:19,666
Watson, no.
97
00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:20,989
Holmes, why are you
getting so exercised?
98
00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:23,193
It's merely an empty box.
99
00:07:23,194 --> 00:07:26,780
Watson, this is sent from Moriarty.
100
00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:27,761
He means to kill us.
101
00:07:27,762 --> 00:07:29,232
Listen.
102
00:07:31,209 --> 00:07:32,932
Shut that window.
103
00:07:32,933 --> 00:07:35,960
If this winged menace escapes,
it may cause a pandemic.
104
00:07:35,970 --> 00:07:36,619
A killer mosquito?
105
00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:38,622
The insect is infected
with African plague.
106
00:07:38,623 --> 00:07:41,670
One bite means death.
107
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,313
Now, dance a Dutch jig.
108
00:07:44,314 --> 00:07:45,934
♪ ♪
109
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,806
You don't have to ask me twice
to do a Dutch jig, but why?
110
00:07:50,807 --> 00:07:53,651
Your body heat will attract
him to dine on your flesh.
111
00:07:53,652 --> 00:07:54,653
Brilliant.
112
00:07:54,654 --> 00:07:57,418
Hold! Don't move.
113
00:07:57,419 --> 00:07:59,101
Where is it?
Right there.
114
00:07:59,102 --> 00:08:00,624
There. Right there on your forehead.
115
00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:04,150
Kill it, Holmes.
I'm going to kill it.
116
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,954
There it is.
Where?
117
00:08:05,955 --> 00:08:09,481
Hold, hold. No, no.
Where?
118
00:08:09,482 --> 00:08:11,840
No, hold, hold.
119
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,815
Is it biting?
120
00:08:14,910 --> 00:08:16,341
I hear it.
121
00:08:18,619 --> 00:08:20,709
I see it.
122
00:08:21,946 --> 00:08:23,468
The tip!
123
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:30,629
Don't worry, boys.
I brought a net.
124
00:08:34,810 --> 00:08:38,150
It is now seven minutes before noon.
125
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,181
Upon the lowering of my gavel,
126
00:08:41,182 --> 00:08:43,786
the charges shall be dismissed.
127
00:08:43,787 --> 00:08:46,751
I shall raise my gavel in the air
128
00:08:46,752 --> 00:08:50,238
that so... and then bring it down
129
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:54,407
briskly, making a satisfying bang,
130
00:08:54,408 --> 00:09:02,688
at which point the prisoner
shall go free.
131
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,403
Angle of approach.
132
00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:15,406
Compensate for warp in floor.
133
00:09:15,407 --> 00:09:18,131
Count for resistance due to dust motes.
134
00:09:18,132 --> 00:09:19,815
Probable outcome,
135
00:09:19,816 --> 00:09:21,498
termination of mosquito.
136
00:09:21,499 --> 00:09:24,183
Integrity of bee habitat maintained.
137
00:09:24,184 --> 00:09:28,984
Deadly bee swarm averted.
138
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,441
The mosquito's vanquished.
139
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:35,123
Well done, Holmes.
140
00:09:35,124 --> 00:09:43,419
It's a simple matter of
geometry, entomology and physics.
141
00:09:43,420 --> 00:09:46,626
Oh, my God!
Oh, shit.
142
00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:50,433
Watson! Stop panicking!
We can disable the queen.
143
00:09:50,434 --> 00:09:56,494
It's making them angry, Holmes!
144
00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,692
Oh, my God.
What are they doing?
145
00:10:00,693 --> 00:10:02,255
They're turning this way!
146
00:10:02,256 --> 00:10:06,865
Just do anything!
Help me!
147
00:10:06,866 --> 00:10:08,106
It's working!
148
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,750
It's not working!
149
00:10:09,751 --> 00:10:13,760
Get it off!
It's not working!
150
00:10:13,770 --> 00:10:15,119
Holmes, we retreat.
151
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:22,280
Run for safety. I'll lead them away.
152
00:10:39,607 --> 00:10:42,817
Stop this trial!
153
00:10:50,508 --> 00:10:54,395
May I present to you
the greatest detective of all time,
154
00:10:54,396 --> 00:10:58,202
solver of the unsolvable,
untier of Gordian knots,
155
00:10:58,203 --> 00:11:05,550
bester of conundrums,
the great Sherlock Holmes.
156
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,780
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
157
00:11:07,781 --> 00:11:10,665
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
158
00:11:10,666 --> 00:11:15,456
Stop this trial at once!
159
00:11:18,601 --> 00:11:21,450
Thank goodness
you've arrived, Mr. Holmes.
160
00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:24,572
Now, what startling new evidence
do you have for the court?
161
00:11:24,573 --> 00:11:27,457
I am the evidence.
162
00:11:27,458 --> 00:11:30,664
Inspector Lestrade,
called upon me for assistance,
163
00:11:30,665 --> 00:11:34,671
for he lacked the mental
capacity to solve it himself.
164
00:11:34,672 --> 00:11:37,276
The inspector is a handsome man,
165
00:11:37,277 --> 00:11:39,680
ruddy, strapping.
166
00:11:39,681 --> 00:11:42,850
Legs like oaken trunks,
167
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:43,928
teeth like ivory,
168
00:11:43,929 --> 00:11:46,814
and yet his wife is of hideous visage.
169
00:11:46,815 --> 00:11:48,617
Terrible to look upon.
170
00:11:48,618 --> 00:11:51,230
They say her gaze curdles milk.
171
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,947
Who says that?
Face like a pig's rectum.
172
00:11:53,948 --> 00:11:57,554
Jeffrey... Holmes!
Close those pillowy lips!
173
00:11:57,555 --> 00:11:59,358
I am under oath!
174
00:11:59,359 --> 00:12:03,566
Actually, you're not under oath.
Not under yours!
175
00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:06,371
Under my own sworn duty,
as a detective.
176
00:12:06,372 --> 00:12:10,499
I cannot allow my brain to
be clouded with feelings!
177
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:13,224
Now... I recall the day vividly.
178
00:12:13,225 --> 00:12:15,629
I arrived at the crime scene alone.
179
00:12:15,630 --> 00:12:20,438
Completely and utterly alone.
180
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:24,245
I meticulously inspected every
nook and cranny of that study,
181
00:12:24,246 --> 00:12:34,384
hunting for clues, much like
a panther stalks its prey.
182
00:12:34,385 --> 00:12:36,388
And as I stood there,
183
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:39,795
I began to employ
a groundbreaking new technique.
184
00:12:39,796 --> 00:12:41,558
Right there.
185
00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:44,283
Behold! Fingerprints.
186
00:12:44,284 --> 00:12:48,932
Imagine a print
being taken from a finger.
187
00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:50,215
I love it.
188
00:12:50,216 --> 00:12:56,507
How do these prove Moriarty's guilt?
189
00:12:56,508 --> 00:12:57,978
Watson.
190
00:12:58,632 --> 00:13:01,676
Moriarty would never leave
a trail of clues,
191
00:13:01,677 --> 00:13:03,480
which begs the question,
192
00:13:03,481 --> 00:13:05,283
why was this crime scene
193
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:09,130
so uncharacteristically
littered with fingerprints?
194
00:13:09,131 --> 00:13:10,854
Good work, Watson.
195
00:13:10,855 --> 00:13:12,176
Thank you. I just thought
of what you might have done.
196
00:13:12,177 --> 00:13:14,140
I compared these prints
197
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:17,346
to those of the man standing before you.
198
00:13:17,347 --> 00:13:18,949
A perfect match.
199
00:13:18,950 --> 00:13:22,356
Unequivocal proof that this man
200
00:13:22,357 --> 00:13:24,841
- is innocent.
- What?
201
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,484
But if those are Moriarty's prints,
202
00:13:26,485 --> 00:13:28,568
then Moriarty is the murderer.
203
00:13:28,569 --> 00:13:31,920
This man is not Moriarty.
204
00:13:31,930 --> 00:13:32,895
He sure looks like Moriarty.
205
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:36,863
He's an impostor.
His name is Jacob Musgrave.
206
00:13:36,864 --> 00:13:39,308
A complete look-alike, a doppelganger.
207
00:13:39,309 --> 00:13:43,436
A patsy framed to hang
for Moriarty's crimes,
208
00:13:43,437 --> 00:13:46,322
so that I may abandon my pursuit of him
209
00:13:46,323 --> 00:13:49,126
and he can begin life anew in America.
210
00:13:49,127 --> 00:13:52,894
Why would an innocent man agree
to hang for Moriarty's crimes?
211
00:13:52,895 --> 00:13:56,500
Elementary.
This man is terminally ill.
212
00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:59,346
Look at him.
His pallid complexion.
213
00:13:59,347 --> 00:14:01,671
The palsy in his left hand.
214
00:14:01,672 --> 00:14:03,514
Wait. I know.
He's an onanist.
215
00:14:03,515 --> 00:14:06,760
Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind.
216
00:14:06,761 --> 00:14:08,283
What's an onanist?
217
00:14:08,284 --> 00:14:10,870
He...
Let's see.
218
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,398
He pours his own tea.
219
00:14:14,456 --> 00:14:18,463
He likes to create his own sauce.
220
00:14:18,464 --> 00:14:22,690
- He is a saucier.
- Huh?
221
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,676
And the name of his restaurant
is Crotch Kitchen.
222
00:14:25,677 --> 00:14:28,962
On a daily basis,
he creams his own eclair.
223
00:14:28,963 --> 00:14:33,171
He is Romeo and Juliet.
224
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,254
That should do it.
225
00:14:35,255 --> 00:14:38,190
- This here.
- Oh, he's a wanker.
226
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,182
Thank you.
227
00:14:39,183 --> 00:14:41,250
Sorry, ladies.
228
00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:44,512
This chap here had nothing
to lose by being executed.
229
00:14:44,513 --> 00:14:48,199
He was literally dying by his own hand.
230
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,802
It causes death, you see.
231
00:14:49,803 --> 00:14:53,480
The infallible Sherlock Holmes
has indeed spoken.
232
00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:56,655
In light of his testimony, I order
the release of the suspect.
233
00:14:56,656 --> 00:15:02,426
What? This is an outrage!
Do not let this murderer free.
234
00:15:02,427 --> 00:15:05,832
Bang, bang, bang!
Court is adjourned.
235
00:15:05,833 --> 00:15:11,443
Sherlock Holmes has done it again!
236
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,880
Why are you cheering?
237
00:15:14,890 --> 00:15:15,772
Sherlock!
238
00:15:15,773 --> 00:15:18,938
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
239
00:15:18,939 --> 00:15:20,461
That couldn't have gone better.
240
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:21,863
It couldn't have.
241
00:15:21,864 --> 00:15:23,306
And I tell you, that case was rather...
242
00:15:23,307 --> 00:15:26,191
It took us three years to catch him.
243
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,876
If we release him now,
we may never find him again.
244
00:15:28,877 --> 00:15:32,323
Put aside your ego and admit I am right.
245
00:15:32,324 --> 00:15:36,410
I am afraid Moriarty's
long gone to America.
246
00:15:36,411 --> 00:15:39,376
Whatever crimes Moriarty
commits from now on
247
00:15:39,377 --> 00:15:42,897
are on your head.
248
00:15:42,944 --> 00:15:45,670
I quite like seeing Lestrade upset.
249
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,428
Yeah. I do, too.
250
00:15:51,521 --> 00:15:55,166
Professor James
Moriarty fled to the Americas
251
00:15:55,167 --> 00:16:02,187
and would never darken England again.
252
00:16:04,785 --> 00:16:08,111
What a fine ending to my fine
Luc Au Revoir adventures
253
00:16:08,112 --> 00:16:24,912
All there is left to do now is to let the ink
dry on this one copy of my manuscript.
254
00:16:30,434 --> 00:16:31,904
Holmes.
255
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,321
Are you upset?
256
00:16:34,322 --> 00:16:36,565
It's just that Moriarty
was the whetstone
257
00:16:36,566 --> 00:16:38,809
upon which I sharpened my mental blade.
258
00:16:38,810 --> 00:16:43,258
With him gone, not there
to challenge me, why go on?
259
00:16:43,259 --> 00:16:46,103
Instead, I shall occupy
my great, great mind
260
00:16:46,104 --> 00:16:48,467
with nutritional science.
261
00:16:48,468 --> 00:16:49,990
My research suggests
262
00:16:49,991 --> 00:16:52,756
that the sulfurous compounds
of the common onion
263
00:16:52,757 --> 00:16:55,120
can increase your red blood cells.
264
00:16:55,121 --> 00:16:58,246
Vital for human health.
265
00:16:58,247 --> 00:17:03,937
Just bite it like an apple, eh?
Mmm-hmm.
266
00:17:03,938 --> 00:17:09,107
Definitely takes four or five bites.
267
00:17:09,108 --> 00:17:10,870
Are we meant to eat the whole thing?
268
00:17:10,871 --> 00:17:12,594
The whole thing.
269
00:17:12,595 --> 00:17:18,645
Let the juice slither
down the back of your throat.
270
00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:21,490
Congratulations, Holmes.
271
00:17:21,491 --> 00:17:23,695
You're not only
the smartest man in London,
272
00:17:23,696 --> 00:17:25,938
you shall soon be the healthiest.
273
00:17:25,939 --> 00:17:27,409
Indeed.
274
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,269
Now, where's my opium?
275
00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:32,420
Um...
276
00:17:32,873 --> 00:17:33,954
Mrs. Hudson!
277
00:17:33,955 --> 00:17:36,118
Hudson!
Hudson!
278
00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:37,269
Help!
279
00:17:37,522 --> 00:17:39,725
Hudson, Watson has stuck
a carrot up my bum!
280
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,480
Hudson, help!
281
00:17:41,490 --> 00:17:43,131
Fire! Fire!
Call the police!
282
00:17:43,132 --> 00:17:44,855
Hudson, your mother has died!
283
00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:46,738
You brain-dead bag of bones!
284
00:17:46,739 --> 00:17:49,744
Hudson!
Hudson!
285
00:17:49,745 --> 00:17:50,866
Hudson!
286
00:17:50,867 --> 00:17:52,869
Hudson, where are you?
287
00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:54,200
Uh...
288
00:17:54,194 --> 00:17:56,760
Did you not hear any of that?
289
00:17:56,770 --> 00:17:58,400
We screamed "fire."
Where?
290
00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,763
And we were screaming your name.
291
00:17:59,764 --> 00:18:03,900
You were just there in my bedroom?
292
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:03,840
Oh.
293
00:18:06,457 --> 00:18:09,999
Sufferin' Succotash.
The great Sherlock Holmes.
294
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:16,998
I'm Honor- You curl your R's, indicating a
native from a less educated United State,
295
00:18:16,999 --> 00:18:18,999
Namely Missouri.
296
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:36,160
Smudge of ink on your waistcoat, index finger
of your right hand calloused from a quill...
297
00:19:13,143 --> 00:19:15,547
Shut up.
Come on.
298
00:19:15,548 --> 00:19:23,201
No wonder my room always
smells like fish pie and semen.
299
00:19:23,202 --> 00:19:24,724
This came for you.
300
00:19:24,725 --> 00:19:25,715
Hmm.
301
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,574
Sealed by hands unused to manual labor.
302
00:19:29,575 --> 00:19:30,565
Hmm.
303
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,500
Hmm.
304
00:19:33,703 --> 00:19:36,386
Saliva from a protein-rich
diet of chicken kidneys.
305
00:19:36,387 --> 00:19:38,952
Why, Watson, it's from the Queen.
306
00:19:38,953 --> 00:19:39,943
Huh.
307
00:19:40,436 --> 00:19:42,799
Seems Her Majesty requests my services.
308
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,764
A crime that has baffled
even her closest advisors,
309
00:19:45,765 --> 00:19:48,770
and only my singular intellect
can solve it.
310
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,173
Well, well, well,
311
00:19:50,174 --> 00:19:53,980
look who's back in the game.
312
00:19:53,981 --> 00:19:55,423
Watson, are you all right?
313
00:19:55,424 --> 00:19:57,306
I'm just very nervous.
314
00:19:57,307 --> 00:20:03,357
I've not met the Queen before.
315
00:20:04,401 --> 00:20:06,300
Deep breath.
Your Majesty,
316
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:10,732
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson.
317
00:20:10,733 --> 00:20:15,673
My God, it's really her.
318
00:20:18,307 --> 00:20:19,297
Shh.
319
00:20:22,315 --> 00:20:23,785
Watson.
320
00:20:24,159 --> 00:20:26,763
Say something.
321
00:20:26,764 --> 00:20:28,125
I love you.
322
00:20:28,126 --> 00:20:31,411
I know I am duty-bound to serve you, but
323
00:20:31,412 --> 00:20:33,134
let me just say, on a personal note,
324
00:20:33,135 --> 00:20:34,497
- I really like you.
- Stop touching her.
325
00:20:34,498 --> 00:20:35,859
Just as a fan.
326
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,744
Please, sir.
327
00:20:37,745 --> 00:20:39,146
Don't touch the Queen.
328
00:20:39,147 --> 00:20:39,977
Oh!
329
00:20:40,510 --> 00:20:42,191
Quite right.
330
00:20:42,192 --> 00:20:43,675
Sorry, Your Majesty.
331
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:47,161
You look a lot smaller in person.
332
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:49,245
Just stop. Just stop.
Sorry. It's true.
333
00:20:49,246 --> 00:20:50,528
Just stop talking.
334
00:20:50,529 --> 00:20:52,932
Yes.
Stop talking.
335
00:20:52,933 --> 00:20:54,294
I'm crazy about your look.
336
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:56,580
What did I say?
337
00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:58,703
Am I still talking out loud?
You are. You are.
338
00:20:58,704 --> 00:21:01,588
It's just the Queen.
Yes.
339
00:21:01,589 --> 00:21:03,312
- Okay?
- Okay.
340
00:21:03,313 --> 00:21:04,555
Your Majesty,
341
00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:07,760
how may we be of service to the realm?
342
00:21:07,761 --> 00:21:10,500
Mr. Holmes, pray follow us.
343
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,120
There is danger about.
344
00:21:14,130 --> 00:21:15,535
What a looker, right?
345
00:21:15,536 --> 00:21:19,903
She is stunning in person.
346
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:21,747
Fear not, Your Majesty,
347
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:24,192
Sherlock will allow no harm to
come to you, and neither will I.
348
00:21:24,193 --> 00:21:27,478
Five, four, three,
349
00:21:27,479 --> 00:21:29,321
two, one.
350
00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:31,112
Surprise!
351
00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:33,650
Thank you.
Thank you.
352
00:21:33,651 --> 00:21:36,175
Had I been a non-genius
such as yourselves,
353
00:21:36,176 --> 00:21:39,421
there's a 72% chance
I would have been surprised.
354
00:21:39,422 --> 00:21:41,202
Oh! 72%.
355
00:21:43,309 --> 00:21:45,271
Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes.
356
00:21:45,272 --> 00:21:49,440
We wish you well and thank
you for your many years...
357
00:21:49,441 --> 00:21:55,531
Your many years of public service.
358
00:21:55,532 --> 00:21:57,254
So, Holmes.
Yes.
359
00:21:57,255 --> 00:21:58,336
When did you know?
360
00:21:58,337 --> 00:21:59,819
Tuesday.
361
00:21:59,820 --> 00:22:01,290
Really?
362
00:22:01,423 --> 00:22:03,466
You were seven minutes late coming home.
363
00:22:03,467 --> 00:22:05,630
Stopped at the stationer's,
364
00:22:05,631 --> 00:22:07,834
confirmed by the scent of paper mulch.
365
00:22:07,835 --> 00:22:09,357
You have the nose of a bloodhound.
366
00:22:09,358 --> 00:22:12,363
Your mustache betrayed
a dusting of crumbs.
367
00:22:12,364 --> 00:22:14,527
Evidence of cake sampling.
368
00:22:14,528 --> 00:22:15,998
Guilty.
369
00:22:16,652 --> 00:22:20,138
And you purchased a case
of pre-phylloxera champagne.
370
00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:24,250
You lack the self-esteem to buy
yourself such an extravagant bottle.
371
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,149
It's true.
372
00:22:26,150 --> 00:22:31,730
I don't deserve nice things.
373
00:22:32,420 --> 00:22:36,890
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow
374
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:39,735
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
375
00:22:39,736 --> 00:22:42,460
♪ And so say all of us ♪
376
00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:43,771
Bravo.
377
00:22:45,708 --> 00:22:47,149
Thank you.
378
00:22:47,150 --> 00:22:49,594
That was delightful.
379
00:22:49,595 --> 00:22:51,770
Oh, a layer cake.
380
00:22:51,780 --> 00:22:53,160
It's shaped like a magnifying glass.
381
00:22:53,161 --> 00:22:54,151
Yes!
382
00:22:57,651 --> 00:23:02,138
The second layer is rather thick.
383
00:23:02,139 --> 00:23:04,663
There must be a few nuts
in there. Uh, if I may.
384
00:23:04,664 --> 00:23:08,950
Would you mind?
Here. Yes, of course.
385
00:23:08,951 --> 00:23:10,153
Do you see what I'm talking about?
386
00:23:10,154 --> 00:23:11,636
Yes.
Yes.
387
00:23:11,637 --> 00:23:13,840
Ah. Raspberry jam.
388
00:23:13,841 --> 00:23:15,764
Mmm. My weakness.
389
00:23:15,765 --> 00:23:18,880
I know what I need.
390
00:23:18,890 --> 00:23:19,772
What the...
He's getting an ax!
391
00:23:19,773 --> 00:23:23,137
Brilliant.
Charge!
392
00:23:23,138 --> 00:23:23,968
Oh!
393
00:23:24,702 --> 00:23:27,346
Stand back.
Back, everyone, I say.
394
00:23:27,347 --> 00:23:29,870
A murder in Buckingham Palace.
395
00:23:29,871 --> 00:23:33,197
Look, a note. There.
396
00:23:33,198 --> 00:23:37,518
Right under your nose.
397
00:23:40,652 --> 00:23:42,855
"A birthday present for you, Sherlock.
398
00:23:42,856 --> 00:23:45,180
"A crime to challenge your wits.
399
00:23:45,181 --> 00:23:47,264
"Stop me in four days' time,
400
00:23:47,265 --> 00:23:49,908
"or I will destroy London's
greatest marvel and kill the Queen,
401
00:23:49,909 --> 00:23:52,553
"and I will rewrite history."
402
00:23:52,554 --> 00:23:55,790
Signed "Professor James Moriarty."
403
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:56,700
Hmm.
404
00:23:56,642 --> 00:23:58,405
This is Jimmy Gruber,
405
00:23:58,406 --> 00:24:00,480
the witness who disappeared,
406
00:24:00,490 --> 00:24:02,613
whose testimony prompted
Moriarty's arrest
407
00:24:02,614 --> 00:24:05,258
and whom Moriarty swore to kill.
408
00:24:05,259 --> 00:24:09,109
And your conclusion?
409
00:24:09,347 --> 00:24:13,553
That Moriarty has killed
again, as I predicted.
410
00:24:13,554 --> 00:24:17,521
Ah. The most obvious conclusion.
411
00:24:17,522 --> 00:24:19,364
No, this is definitely the work
412
00:24:19,365 --> 00:24:22,130
of someone who is going
to extraordinary lengths
413
00:24:22,131 --> 00:24:25,560
to make it appear as if
Moriarty committed these crimes.
414
00:24:25,570 --> 00:24:28,743
- Sherlock Holmes.
- The Queen.
415
00:24:28,744 --> 00:24:32,269
We charge you with the task
of stopping this criminal
416
00:24:32,270 --> 00:24:34,313
before he can do us harm.
417
00:24:34,314 --> 00:24:37,960
Solve this case on behalf
of your queen and country.
418
00:24:37,961 --> 00:24:39,162
- I will.
- We will.
419
00:24:39,163 --> 00:24:40,525
But, Your Majesty...
420
00:24:40,526 --> 00:24:43,290
Sherlock Holmes has never failed us.
421
00:24:43,291 --> 00:24:45,334
The bold ingenuity of this crime
422
00:24:45,335 --> 00:24:47,538
calls me back to the profession
423
00:24:47,539 --> 00:24:49,382
of detecting like a siren song.
424
00:24:49,383 --> 00:24:51,145
I won't let anyone hurt you.
425
00:24:51,146 --> 00:24:53,189
Watson. To the morgue.
426
00:24:53,190 --> 00:24:55,714
Lestrade, clean this mess up now.
427
00:24:55,715 --> 00:25:01,615
The game is a-starting.
Yeah.
428
00:25:02,528 --> 00:25:05,772
Who is this copycat
pretending to be Moriarty?
429
00:25:05,773 --> 00:25:08,338
Finally, a problem worthy of my brain.
430
00:25:08,339 --> 00:25:10,181
This birthday cake is delicious.
431
00:25:10,182 --> 00:25:11,584
Did you get a chance to try it?
432
00:25:11,585 --> 00:25:17,595
No, there was a corpse in it.
Oh.
433
00:25:17,596 --> 00:25:18,998
Watson?
434
00:25:18,999 --> 00:25:19,829
Oh.
435
00:25:20,810 --> 00:25:22,300
Oh, my goodness.
436
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:22,834
Oh.
437
00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:24,728
Finders keepers.
438
00:25:24,729 --> 00:25:25,879
Yeah.
439
00:25:27,214 --> 00:25:29,170
Are you sure you wouldn't
rather wait out here?
440
00:25:29,180 --> 00:25:30,660
The last time you were
in the morgue, you...
441
00:25:30,661 --> 00:25:34,828
Watson, I am a man
of stout constitution.
442
00:25:34,829 --> 00:25:37,793
Yes, of course. I just
thought, after the last time,
443
00:25:37,794 --> 00:25:39,918
with the...
444
00:25:39,919 --> 00:25:42,190
And the...
445
00:25:42,830 --> 00:25:44,286
Merely a bout of stomach influenza.
446
00:25:44,287 --> 00:25:45,689
Yes, but the time before that?
447
00:25:45,690 --> 00:25:48,130
Bad clams.
And before that?
448
00:25:48,140 --> 00:25:49,736
I shook hands with a prostitute.
449
00:25:49,737 --> 00:25:50,727
Yes.
450
00:25:51,741 --> 00:25:54,666
No, no.
Put that away.
451
00:25:54,667 --> 00:26:05,177
I'm not some vaporous,
giggling, fainting maiden who...
452
00:26:06,169 --> 00:26:09,930
Oh, ye of little...
453
00:26:09,940 --> 00:26:11,738
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
454
00:26:11,739 --> 00:26:13,462
I think I'm starting to feel a bit...
455
00:26:13,463 --> 00:26:14,944
I wouldn't...
456
00:26:14,945 --> 00:26:16,988
Are you...
No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine.
457
00:26:16,989 --> 00:26:24,402
'Cause if you start to feel
sick, then I'll start to feel...
458
00:26:24,403 --> 00:26:27,127
Surely, I must be done.
Yes.
459
00:26:27,128 --> 00:26:32,878
Next to impossible to still...
460
00:26:36,650 --> 00:26:37,548
There you are.
461
00:26:37,549 --> 00:26:40,553
All done.
Yes, there.
462
00:26:40,554 --> 00:26:42,557
Would you like some water?
Did you say water...
463
00:26:42,558 --> 00:26:45,242
Sorry. I'm sorry.
464
00:26:45,243 --> 00:26:47,486
Shall we begin the autopsy?
465
00:26:47,487 --> 00:26:49,690
Oh, thank goodness
these cleaning women are here
466
00:26:49,691 --> 00:26:50,973
to clean up this dreadful mess.
467
00:26:50,974 --> 00:26:52,776
Someone's made sick.
Oh.
468
00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:55,261
My dear Watson, these women
469
00:26:55,262 --> 00:26:57,145
are far too well-dressed
to be cleaning women.
470
00:26:57,146 --> 00:27:01,272
They're here to identify their
well-to-do husbands' bodies.
471
00:27:01,273 --> 00:27:02,795
Sorry for your loss.
472
00:27:02,796 --> 00:27:05,320
Thank you, but I am the doctor.
473
00:27:05,321 --> 00:27:08,727
Look, Watson, grief has
scrambled her brain.
474
00:27:08,728 --> 00:27:10,690
Mmm.
She thinks she's a doctor.
475
00:27:10,691 --> 00:27:14,160
Fortunately, Miss,
there's a real doctor here
476
00:27:14,170 --> 00:27:15,539
who may help you.
477
00:27:15,540 --> 00:27:17,263
Would you like some heroin?
478
00:27:17,264 --> 00:27:19,427
Dr. Watson, I presume.
479
00:27:19,428 --> 00:27:21,711
And you must be Sherlock Holmes.
480
00:27:21,712 --> 00:27:24,476
Dr. Grace Hart of Boston.
481
00:27:24,477 --> 00:27:26,240
A woman doctor?
482
00:27:26,241 --> 00:27:29,450
- What times we live in.
- Yes.
483
00:27:29,460 --> 00:27:31,650
In America, we're much more progressive.
484
00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:34,536
I now make 30 cents for
every dollar a man earns.
485
00:27:34,537 --> 00:27:37,220
What does "doctor" mean in America?
486
00:27:37,221 --> 00:27:39,640
It means "doctor."
487
00:27:39,650 --> 00:27:41,680
You're Dr. G. Hart?
488
00:27:41,690 --> 00:27:42,952
Of Boston?
Yes.
489
00:27:42,953 --> 00:27:45,596
Holmes, we're in the
presence of a pioneer.
490
00:27:45,597 --> 00:27:48,402
Dr. Hart's work with the use
of electroshock therapy
491
00:27:48,403 --> 00:27:50,767
to cure female hysteria
is groundbreaking.
492
00:27:50,768 --> 00:27:54,774
Yes, I proved the higher the voltage,
the more demons are released.
493
00:27:54,775 --> 00:27:56,970
Well, of course.
494
00:27:56,980 --> 00:27:58,100
Some of my patients live
as long as a week.
495
00:27:58,101 --> 00:28:00,786
"Doctor"?
Spelled D-O-C-T-O-R?
496
00:28:00,787 --> 00:28:01,777
Yes.
497
00:28:02,790 --> 00:28:05,233
This is my aide, Millicent.
498
00:28:05,234 --> 00:28:09,121
She's very shy, but a
wonderful traveling companion.
499
00:28:09,122 --> 00:28:12,407
Shall we proceed to the examination?
500
00:28:12,408 --> 00:28:16,496
Please.
Our cadaver awaits.
501
00:28:16,497 --> 00:28:17,938
No, no, no.
502
00:28:17,939 --> 00:28:19,890
Here.
503
00:28:19,983 --> 00:28:22,106
Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell.
504
00:28:22,107 --> 00:28:28,398
Perhaps you would rather stay
here and keep Millicent company.
505
00:28:28,399 --> 00:28:29,760
Sherlock Holmes.
506
00:28:29,761 --> 00:28:33,291
Charmed to meet...
507
00:28:33,369 --> 00:28:35,291
To meet you.
508
00:28:35,292 --> 00:28:37,415
Millicent is the subject of my research.
509
00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:39,580
She was raised by feral cats.
510
00:28:39,581 --> 00:28:41,864
She has the mental capacity
of a four-year-old,
511
00:28:41,865 --> 00:28:44,989
but it is my belief that, with
sufficient electroshock therapy,
512
00:28:44,990 --> 00:28:47,915
she can achieve the
intellect of a six-year-old.
513
00:28:47,916 --> 00:28:49,999
We are truly in
the golden age of medicine.
514
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,642
There's nothing left to learn.
515
00:28:51,643 --> 00:28:52,473
No.
516
00:28:54,609 --> 00:28:59,399
What a creature you are.
517
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:13,244
You're devouring that onion
with such passion.
518
00:29:13,245 --> 00:29:16,369
It's strangely arousing.
519
00:29:16,370 --> 00:29:18,212
Dr. Watson,
I have always been taken
520
00:29:18,213 --> 00:29:21,219
by your unwavering devotion
to Mr. Holmes,
521
00:29:21,220 --> 00:29:25,867
but haven't you ever
considered something more?
522
00:29:25,868 --> 00:29:30,348
Perhaps a co-detective?
523
00:29:30,517 --> 00:29:32,279
He and I?
524
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:33,481
Co-detectives?
525
00:29:33,482 --> 00:29:34,472
Yes.
526
00:29:34,645 --> 00:29:36,889
Oh, the very idea!
527
00:29:36,890 --> 00:29:40,415
Uh...
Solving crimes together?
528
00:29:40,416 --> 00:29:42,739
Laughing and enjoying
the esprit de corps
529
00:29:42,740 --> 00:29:45,505
of two best friends
pursuing a noble cause!
530
00:29:45,506 --> 00:29:47,107
Madness. No, dear.
531
00:29:47,108 --> 00:29:50,148
No. No, not I.
532
00:29:50,876 --> 00:29:52,816
Not here.
533
00:29:53,120 --> 00:30:03,820
Not even in my most rapturous
moments of private fantasy.
534
00:30:03,821 --> 00:30:10,632
Anyway, let's go clean this
cake-covered bastard, shall we?
535
00:30:10,633 --> 00:30:16,543
The wonders of modern medicine.
536
00:30:16,644 --> 00:30:19,480
Now, you're going to laugh,
537
00:30:19,490 --> 00:30:21,373
but I found the most important
tool of an autopsy is...
538
00:30:21,374 --> 00:30:22,684
Music.
539
00:30:23,859 --> 00:30:24,849
Yes.
540
00:30:25,181 --> 00:30:27,121
You, too?
541
00:30:33,396 --> 00:30:36,161
♪ Oh, my love ♪
542
00:30:36,162 --> 00:30:40,409
This one always gets me in the mood.
543
00:30:40,410 --> 00:30:44,410
So begins the dance.
544
00:30:50,870 --> 00:30:53,313
You have some dribble. Hmm?
545
00:30:53,314 --> 00:30:59,534
Just a touch of dribble right...
546
00:31:02,251 --> 00:31:06,658
♪ And time goes by... ♪
547
00:31:06,659 --> 00:31:19,229
There is something so sensual about
forensic autopsy, isn't there?
548
00:31:34,593 --> 00:31:36,515
You are a delight.
549
00:31:36,516 --> 00:31:43,449
Your eyes say more
than words ever could.
550
00:31:43,450 --> 00:31:44,440
Hmm.
551
00:31:44,852 --> 00:31:49,340
The tincture of ammonia and scrotum.
552
00:31:49,341 --> 00:31:53,428
Hello, Inspector Lestrade.
553
00:31:53,429 --> 00:31:55,111
We have combed the manifests
554
00:31:55,112 --> 00:31:58,760
of every ship to set sail
for the Americas
555
00:31:58,770 --> 00:32:01,323
and found not a single Moriarty.
556
00:32:01,324 --> 00:32:04,569
Moriarty's too cunning
to use his own name.
557
00:32:04,570 --> 00:32:06,533
He's sailing under an alias.
558
00:32:06,534 --> 00:32:08,416
Ah, here we are.
559
00:32:08,417 --> 00:32:10,861
So, after a thorough...
560
00:32:10,862 --> 00:32:13,602
Very thorough.
561
00:32:14,148 --> 00:32:16,231
Stop.
No, you stop.
562
00:32:16,232 --> 00:32:19,370
Examination of the body...
563
00:32:19,380 --> 00:32:21,481
And I must say, Dr. Hart made some
564
00:32:21,482 --> 00:32:23,685
beautiful lateral incisions there.
565
00:32:23,686 --> 00:32:28,855
No, watching you flay the skin
from his face so gently!
566
00:32:28,856 --> 00:32:31,260
I would flay 1,000 faces for you.
And the way...
567
00:32:31,261 --> 00:32:33,263
Just tell me what you found!
568
00:32:33,264 --> 00:32:34,254
Yes.
569
00:32:35,108 --> 00:32:36,750
Cause of death indeterminate.
570
00:32:36,751 --> 00:32:38,153
Indeterminate?
571
00:32:38,154 --> 00:32:39,555
What do you mean?
572
00:32:39,556 --> 00:32:41,960
It means he doesn't know.
573
00:32:41,961 --> 00:32:43,803
- Proceed, Watson.
- Yes.
574
00:32:43,804 --> 00:32:47,931
We found a freshly applied
tattoo of a cross
575
00:32:47,932 --> 00:32:50,777
and the numbers one and 20.
576
00:32:50,778 --> 00:32:53,210
I have the oddest feeling.
577
00:32:53,220 --> 00:32:55,466
It's like knowing, but the opposite.
578
00:32:55,467 --> 00:32:57,269
Meaning you haven't a clue.
579
00:32:57,270 --> 00:33:00,515
Who is this genius pretender
who's taken Moriarty's place,
580
00:33:00,516 --> 00:33:04,804
committing crimes exactly
the way he would?
581
00:33:04,805 --> 00:33:06,847
A fantastic new case.
582
00:33:06,848 --> 00:33:09,211
I'm aroused
both mentally and physically.
583
00:33:09,212 --> 00:33:12,979
I was wondering, rather than
working beside you on this case,
584
00:33:12,980 --> 00:33:15,864
I might work with you as a sort of...
585
00:33:15,865 --> 00:33:18,680
Grace called it a "co-detective."
586
00:33:18,690 --> 00:33:22,760
One cannot simply just
make someone a detective.
587
00:33:22,770 --> 00:33:23,518
It must be earned.
588
00:33:23,519 --> 00:33:26,440
Well, I deduced you might say that,
589
00:33:26,450 --> 00:33:28,569
which is why, when we arrive home,
590
00:33:28,570 --> 00:33:31,694
I propose a game of chess.
591
00:33:31,695 --> 00:33:33,217
If I should best you,
592
00:33:33,218 --> 00:33:35,261
then surely I possess
the mental power...
593
00:33:35,262 --> 00:33:37,826
Checkmate! Checkmate.
594
00:33:37,827 --> 00:33:40,351
What?
We haven't started yet.
595
00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:42,340
You would have opened
with the Queen's Gambit.
596
00:33:42,350 --> 00:33:44,278
Oh, indeed.
A reliable first move.
597
00:33:44,279 --> 00:33:45,961
I would have countered
with a Slav Defense.
598
00:33:45,962 --> 00:33:48,927
Oh! An audacious move.
Quite unexpected.
599
00:33:48,928 --> 00:33:51,452
You would have panicked,
thus exposing your queen.
600
00:33:51,453 --> 00:33:52,574
No, not my queen!
601
00:33:52,575 --> 00:33:54,970
Seeing your queen exposed
602
00:33:54,980 --> 00:33:56,141
would have compelled you to defend her.
603
00:33:56,142 --> 00:33:59,187
Indeed. It is my duty
in chess as in life.
604
00:33:59,188 --> 00:34:03,435
Thereby neglecting my castle.
605
00:34:03,436 --> 00:34:05,386
Checkmate.
606
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:07,322
Perhaps another game?
607
00:34:07,323 --> 00:34:09,246
Rock-paper-scissors.
608
00:34:09,247 --> 00:34:11,770
Rock, rock, paper, paper,
scissors, paper,
609
00:34:11,771 --> 00:34:14,696
rock, scissors, paper, rock.
610
00:34:14,697 --> 00:34:15,818
Dash it all!
611
00:34:15,819 --> 00:34:17,261
What about Battleship?
612
00:34:17,262 --> 00:34:19,946
D-3, E-3, F-3, and G-3.
613
00:34:19,947 --> 00:34:22,190
Damn it, you've sunk my battleship.
614
00:34:22,191 --> 00:34:24,715
You're a good man, Watson,
615
00:34:24,716 --> 00:34:27,480
but you're not ready.
616
00:34:27,481 --> 00:34:28,843
But why?
617
00:34:28,844 --> 00:34:35,684
If you were ready, you'd know why.
618
00:34:41,949 --> 00:34:44,112
Let the game begin.
619
00:34:44,113 --> 00:34:46,357
A piece for a piece.
620
00:34:46,358 --> 00:34:51,618
Two can play at that game.
621
00:35:07,598 --> 00:35:08,588
Mmm.
622
00:35:11,365 --> 00:35:13,155
Peekaboo.
623
00:35:15,613 --> 00:35:18,353
Ah. Checkmate.
624
00:35:18,418 --> 00:35:24,318
And to the victor, the spoils.
625
00:35:24,470 --> 00:35:30,210
You'll never be co-detective.
626
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:35,490
Watson, I'm near a breakthrough.
627
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:37,614
My hypothesis is the true cause of death
628
00:35:37,615 --> 00:35:40,980
is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo.
629
00:35:40,981 --> 00:35:44,988
But I need your help.
630
00:35:44,989 --> 00:35:46,591
You want me to be co-detective?
631
00:35:46,592 --> 00:35:48,194
Mmm-mmm.
632
00:35:48,195 --> 00:35:51,200
I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson.
633
00:35:51,201 --> 00:35:52,482
Sorry for what?
634
00:35:52,483 --> 00:35:54,326
Mr. Holmes left me no choice.
635
00:35:54,327 --> 00:35:56,810
May you rest in peace.
What's she on about?
636
00:35:56,811 --> 00:36:03,620
All will be clear in three, two, one.
637
00:36:03,630 --> 00:36:04,184
Excuse me.
638
00:36:04,185 --> 00:36:06,280
I'll take that.
639
00:36:06,290 --> 00:36:07,992
It's just something caught in my throat.
640
00:36:07,993 --> 00:36:09,314
Oh, no.
641
00:36:09,315 --> 00:36:10,636
I poisoned you.
642
00:36:10,637 --> 00:36:11,627
Why?
643
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:13,682
To test my theory.
644
00:36:13,683 --> 00:36:15,325
Am I going to die?
645
00:36:15,326 --> 00:36:16,848
No, I have an antidote.
646
00:36:16,849 --> 00:36:19,894
Oh. But I need to see it play out.
647
00:36:19,895 --> 00:36:21,858
Now, let's see here.
648
00:36:21,859 --> 00:36:23,581
Redness around the mouth.
Good.
649
00:36:23,582 --> 00:36:24,903
Help me.
650
00:36:24,904 --> 00:36:29,152
You will have temporary brain damage.
651
00:36:29,153 --> 00:36:31,350
Wake up, Watson. Wake up.
652
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,319
We have work to do.
Watson.
653
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,243
Who's Watson?
I'll kill him!
654
00:36:35,244 --> 00:36:36,526
You son of a bitch!
655
00:36:36,527 --> 00:36:37,687
Violent aggression.
656
00:36:37,688 --> 00:36:39,692
Oh, please give me the antidote.
657
00:36:39,693 --> 00:36:41,540
Drama queen syndrome.
658
00:36:41,550 --> 00:36:43,379
Why am I doing this?
659
00:36:43,380 --> 00:36:44,701
Confused mime.
660
00:36:44,702 --> 00:36:47,707
Oh! Does this suit make me look fat?
661
00:36:47,708 --> 00:36:49,430
Body image dysmorphia.
662
00:36:49,431 --> 00:36:51,211
My eyes!
663
00:36:51,275 --> 00:36:54,921
Sensitivity to light.
My eyes! It burns!
664
00:36:54,922 --> 00:36:57,566
Excruciating abdominal pain.
665
00:36:57,567 --> 00:36:59,128
Yes, it's confirmed.
666
00:36:59,129 --> 00:37:01,253
It was poison.
Come, Watson.
667
00:37:01,254 --> 00:37:04,299
Let us not be late.
668
00:37:04,300 --> 00:37:05,702
Oh! Of course.
669
00:37:05,703 --> 00:37:07,653
Lactation.
670
00:37:08,708 --> 00:37:10,670
Why?
Come along, Watson.
671
00:37:10,671 --> 00:37:15,159
I'll explain in the cab.
672
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:16,402
There we go.
673
00:37:16,403 --> 00:37:18,205
Oh, thank God for this antidote.
674
00:37:18,206 --> 00:37:21,491
I feel as though I've
completely recovered.
675
00:37:21,492 --> 00:37:24,382
Yes, you have.
676
00:37:25,580 --> 00:37:26,821
There.
677
00:37:26,822 --> 00:37:28,640
So where are we going?
678
00:37:28,650 --> 00:37:30,187
The fact that the victim was poisoned
679
00:37:30,188 --> 00:37:34,195
suggests the killer lacked
physical strength to overpower him.
680
00:37:34,196 --> 00:37:37,562
The tattoos you examined
have an uneven quality.
681
00:37:37,563 --> 00:37:41,329
It leads me to believe that they
were drawn by a one-armed man.
682
00:37:41,330 --> 00:37:43,813
A one-armed man.
683
00:37:43,814 --> 00:37:44,804
Yes.
684
00:37:45,217 --> 00:37:47,300
A weak man who would use poison.
685
00:37:47,301 --> 00:37:52,230
There is only one one-armed
tattoo artist in all of London.
686
00:37:52,231 --> 00:37:55,556
The nefarious Gustav Klinger.
687
00:37:55,557 --> 00:37:58,641
Dorset Street! And
don't spare the horses!
688
00:37:58,642 --> 00:38:00,164
Dorset Street.
689
00:38:00,165 --> 00:38:03,932
Home of drunkards, thieves,
and hairy, old whores.
690
00:38:03,933 --> 00:38:06,777
And, if my theory
is correct, the killer.
691
00:38:06,778 --> 00:38:09,838
Hello, gorgeous.
692
00:38:10,225 --> 00:38:15,915
Though all is calm now,
we must be on highest alert.
693
00:38:15,916 --> 00:38:19,240
Shall we ask someone if they've
seen our one-armed Mr. Klinger?
694
00:38:19,241 --> 00:38:22,768
This neighborhood does not
welcome curious outsiders.
695
00:38:22,769 --> 00:38:24,732
Excuse me.
Have you the time?
696
00:38:24,733 --> 00:38:28,178
Not for you, outsider.
697
00:38:28,179 --> 00:38:29,901
Merciful God.
698
00:38:29,902 --> 00:38:31,585
We must blend in.
699
00:38:31,586 --> 00:38:34,310
Fortunately, my time tripping the boards
700
00:38:34,311 --> 00:38:35,672
has made me a master of disguise.
701
00:38:35,673 --> 00:38:36,663
Yes.
702
00:38:43,408 --> 00:38:44,398
You.
703
00:38:44,530 --> 00:38:46,293
What have you done with Sherlock?
704
00:38:46,294 --> 00:38:48,536
Why, Watson,
705
00:38:48,537 --> 00:38:51,267
I never left.
706
00:38:51,945 --> 00:38:53,707
Amazing.
Yes, I know.
707
00:38:53,708 --> 00:38:56,111
Yes, you've outdone yourself this time.
708
00:38:56,112 --> 00:38:57,422
Now...
709
00:38:57,956 --> 00:38:59,317
Huh?
No.
710
00:38:59,318 --> 00:39:00,840
Still me.
It's you?
711
00:39:00,841 --> 00:39:02,603
It's still Sherlock.
712
00:39:02,604 --> 00:39:04,647
All right.
Rest assured.
713
00:39:04,648 --> 00:39:06,500
It's very convincing.
714
00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:07,893
Now for your disguise.
715
00:39:07,894 --> 00:39:11,540
Oh, what will it be?
716
00:39:11,541 --> 00:39:15,541
Yes. You, my friend,
717
00:39:15,669 --> 00:39:21,118
shall play a down-on-your-luck
horseshit salesman.
718
00:39:21,119 --> 00:39:23,590
Oh.
Yes.
719
00:39:23,364 --> 00:39:25,206
Yes. Yes.
720
00:39:25,207 --> 00:39:28,252
Come, Watson. We have a
one-armed killer to catch.
721
00:39:28,253 --> 00:39:29,935
Get into character.
722
00:39:29,936 --> 00:39:31,659
- Horseshit for sale!
- There you go.
723
00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:33,742
- Who will buy my horse's shit?
- I'll take some.
724
00:39:33,743 --> 00:39:37,590
No one must know our true purpose. Mmm.
725
00:39:37,591 --> 00:39:39,233
What you toffs want?
726
00:39:39,234 --> 00:39:46,527
To buy a pint for any man
who can raise two hands.
727
00:39:46,528 --> 00:39:48,972
Every man has both arms.
728
00:39:48,973 --> 00:39:51,550
Klinger isn't here.
729
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,220
Our journey continues.
730
00:39:53,221 --> 00:39:57,708
Blend in like a common oaf. Yes.
731
00:39:57,709 --> 00:39:59,591
Keep drinking.
We need to fit in.
732
00:39:59,592 --> 00:40:01,620
Cheers.
733
00:40:01,998 --> 00:40:03,319
Cheers!
734
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,690
More, more, more!
735
00:40:09,171 --> 00:40:11,581
Oi! Oi! Oi!
736
00:40:17,667 --> 00:40:19,149
They have boxing here.
737
00:40:19,150 --> 00:40:20,712
I don't care if he's small!
738
00:40:20,713 --> 00:40:24,800
- Kill!
- Come on, fight!
739
00:40:24,801 --> 00:40:26,242
Shouldn't we be looking for Klinger?
740
00:40:26,243 --> 00:40:32,254
Who cares about Klinger?
Exactly!
741
00:40:32,255 --> 00:40:33,536
Release the child!
742
00:40:33,537 --> 00:40:35,500
Let go of that boy!
I want him dead!
743
00:40:35,501 --> 00:40:39,501
Sweet river of piss.
744
00:40:39,549 --> 00:40:42,153
You have real force there.
745
00:40:42,154 --> 00:40:43,675
Arc of stream.
746
00:40:43,676 --> 00:40:45,159
Direction of wind.
747
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,820
Compensate for shy penis.
748
00:40:47,830 --> 00:40:49,527
Avoid splash on shoes.
749
00:40:49,528 --> 00:40:51,570
And release fluids.
750
00:40:51,571 --> 00:40:53,173
Oh, my goodness.
751
00:40:53,174 --> 00:40:56,701
Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants.
752
00:40:56,702 --> 00:40:58,383
You really are a genius.
753
00:40:58,384 --> 00:41:00,788
Oh, watch it.
Oh, sorry.
754
00:41:00,789 --> 00:41:03,393
I should like to send a telegram.
755
00:41:03,394 --> 00:41:05,814
Grace. Stop.
756
00:41:07,282 --> 00:41:11,282
Are you awake? Stop.
757
00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:14,454
Uh, you're such a pretty doctor lady.
758
00:41:14,455 --> 00:41:15,445
Ooh!
759
00:41:16,258 --> 00:41:18,210
Are you quite sure this is a good idea?
760
00:41:18,220 --> 00:41:19,624
This is wonderful.
761
00:41:19,625 --> 00:41:22,830
The combination of the late
hour and your drunkenness
762
00:41:22,831 --> 00:41:26,316
allows for communication
of exceptional honesty.
763
00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:27,439
Quite right.
764
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,202
I will call it an intoxigram.
765
00:41:29,203 --> 00:41:32,870
And no one shall ever
regret sending one.
766
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,932
Now, lay bare the fruits
of your inebriation.
767
00:41:34,933 --> 00:41:36,656
Ask her what she's wearing.
768
00:41:36,657 --> 00:41:39,210
What are you wearing?
Stop.
769
00:41:39,220 --> 00:41:39,782
Bloomers?
770
00:41:39,783 --> 00:41:41,545
A brassiere?
771
00:41:41,546 --> 00:41:44,700
I'd wager you'd look good in anything.
772
00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:45,353
Wonderful.
Stop.
773
00:41:45,354 --> 00:41:47,477
Shall I ask what Millie
thinks about you?
774
00:41:47,478 --> 00:41:48,628
Um...
775
00:41:49,361 --> 00:41:51,685
I don't care.
Sure. Why not?
776
00:41:51,686 --> 00:41:53,929
What does Millie think of Sherlock?
777
00:41:53,930 --> 00:41:57,696
Does Millie ever drip wax over her body?
778
00:41:57,697 --> 00:42:00,301
Hot wax. Stop.
779
00:42:00,302 --> 00:42:01,985
- Okay. That's enough.
- Yeah, I think so.
780
00:42:01,986 --> 00:42:05,986
Describe your loins.
Ah Yes.
781
00:42:05,987 --> 00:42:11,221
Hot Loins.
Hot Loins for sale.
782
00:42:11,222 --> 00:42:15,209
Come and get them while they're hot.
Hot steamy loins.
783
00:42:15,210 --> 00:42:19,298
Now show her how she
makes you feel. Huh?
784
00:42:19,299 --> 00:42:22,222
Just go ahead.
Display it.
785
00:42:22,223 --> 00:42:23,533
There.
786
00:42:24,186 --> 00:42:28,332
Don't look away!
Look at it!
787
00:42:28,333 --> 00:42:29,557
Telegraph a picture of this.
788
00:42:29,558 --> 00:42:32,723
And make sure you get
the banger and the beans.
789
00:42:32,724 --> 00:42:34,366
Focus on the mushroom.
790
00:42:34,367 --> 00:42:37,110
Are you positive I shan't
regret this in the morning?
791
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:38,974
You absolutely will.
792
00:42:38,975 --> 00:42:40,578
Silence, you!
Say it again.
793
00:42:40,579 --> 00:42:41,940
Say it again. I dare you. Oh!
794
00:42:41,941 --> 00:42:43,624
Please say it.
Please say it again.
795
00:42:43,625 --> 00:42:45,106
Do you think you would be
the first man I've killed?
796
00:42:45,107 --> 00:42:50,477
I have the penis of a baby doll.
797
00:42:50,478 --> 00:42:56,528
It's just a statement of fact.
798
00:42:57,900 --> 00:42:58,973
Oh, well, Watson,
799
00:42:58,974 --> 00:43:01,458
after a night of drinking,
I could eat a whole pie.
800
00:43:01,459 --> 00:43:03,741
Oh, no, it's cakes for me, my friend.
801
00:43:03,742 --> 00:43:05,305
Ah! Cakes, indeed!
802
00:43:05,306 --> 00:43:09,593
Yes. Yes, cakes stacked on cakes.
803
00:43:09,594 --> 00:43:11,597
We should open a restaurant called
804
00:43:11,598 --> 00:43:15,484
the International House of
Cakes Stacked Upon Other Cakes.
805
00:43:15,485 --> 00:43:18,650
Yes, and you can only
eat there after a night of drinking.
806
00:43:18,651 --> 00:43:20,734
Well, speaking of the night,
I fear it's a night wasted.
807
00:43:20,735 --> 00:43:23,659
No sign of Klinger anywhere. Mmm.
808
00:43:23,660 --> 00:43:25,583
Not so fast, Watson.
809
00:43:25,584 --> 00:43:28,509
Look at those two men and their tattoos.
810
00:43:28,510 --> 00:43:30,152
I don't understand.
811
00:43:30,153 --> 00:43:32,677
We haven't been able
to find the tattoo artist.
812
00:43:32,678 --> 00:43:39,570
Perhaps we should follow the tattoos.
813
00:43:39,571 --> 00:43:41,130
A gymnasium?
814
00:43:41,140 --> 00:43:43,970
You really think Klinger
would be here, Holmes?
815
00:43:43,980 --> 00:43:46,182
Look alive, Watson.
He could be anywhere.
816
00:43:46,183 --> 00:43:48,748
Three, two, one.
817
00:43:48,749 --> 00:43:51,432
Pick it up. Pick it up.
That's it.
818
00:43:51,433 --> 00:43:53,757
Out with the bad air, in with the good.
819
00:43:53,758 --> 00:43:55,440
Look at these health nuts.
820
00:43:55,441 --> 00:43:57,404
Big deep breath.
821
00:43:57,405 --> 00:43:59,127
Obsessed with the
purifying effects of smoke.
822
00:43:59,128 --> 00:44:02,854
All right, good
lungful of the cleansing vapors.
823
00:44:02,855 --> 00:44:05,660
I don't think he's here, Holmes.
824
00:44:05,661 --> 00:44:07,864
Hello, hello, hello!
825
00:44:07,865 --> 00:44:09,827
Sherlock Holmes.
826
00:44:09,828 --> 00:44:10,658
Ah.
827
00:44:11,391 --> 00:44:13,154
You must be Gustav Klinger,
828
00:44:13,155 --> 00:44:16,360
the one-armed tattoo
artist of Dorset Street.
829
00:44:16,361 --> 00:44:19,251
Looks like it.
830
00:44:20,208 --> 00:44:23,734
Gustav Klinger, I accuse you
of poisoning Jimmy Gruber
831
00:44:23,735 --> 00:44:25,938
and baking him into a large cake.
832
00:44:25,939 --> 00:44:30,466
A deliciously large cake
that I baked myself.
833
00:44:30,467 --> 00:44:32,300
Oh, please.
834
00:44:32,310 --> 00:44:33,472
How dare you!
835
00:44:33,473 --> 00:44:35,796
You did not bake that cake.
836
00:44:35,797 --> 00:44:38,401
Not only did I bake it.
I decorated it, too.
837
00:44:38,402 --> 00:44:39,644
Impossible.
838
00:44:39,645 --> 00:44:40,967
It's got a frosting attachment.
839
00:44:40,968 --> 00:44:42,810
You're trying to tell me
840
00:44:42,811 --> 00:44:45,455
that a one-armed man made a
professional, bakery-quality cake
841
00:44:45,456 --> 00:44:46,777
fit for the Queen.
Watson.
842
00:44:46,778 --> 00:44:49,102
It's just... It...
It doesn't matter
843
00:44:49,103 --> 00:44:50,825
if he baked the cake or not.
It really bugs... I know.
844
00:44:50,826 --> 00:44:52,147
- It really...
- Best cake I've ever eaten.
845
00:44:52,148 --> 00:44:54,312
I did bake the cake.
All right, fine.
846
00:44:54,313 --> 00:44:55,995
You "baked the cake."
847
00:44:55,996 --> 00:44:59,241
I didn't "bake a cake."
848
00:44:59,242 --> 00:45:00,403
I baked a cake.
849
00:45:00,404 --> 00:45:01,846
Then you admit it.
850
00:45:01,847 --> 00:45:03,650
You killed Jimmy Gruber.
851
00:45:03,651 --> 00:45:05,773
And what if I did, Mr. Holmes?
852
00:45:05,774 --> 00:45:08,860
It's not as if you're in a
position to do anything about it.
853
00:45:08,861 --> 00:45:11,865
He's right, Sherlock Holmes.
854
00:45:11,866 --> 00:45:15,472
You've walked straight into our trap.
855
00:45:15,473 --> 00:45:17,476
Moriarty.
Quiet, Watson.
856
00:45:17,477 --> 00:45:21,323
In the name of the queen,
I arrest you both.
857
00:45:21,324 --> 00:45:23,688
Oh, come, Sherlock.
858
00:45:23,689 --> 00:45:25,531
You don't think it'll be that easy.
859
00:45:25,532 --> 00:45:28,697
You won't be leaving
here alive, Mr. Holmes,
860
00:45:28,698 --> 00:45:36,712
unless, of course, you fight
your way out of the Hexagon.
861
00:45:36,713 --> 00:45:39,358
Where are you pointing?
862
00:45:39,359 --> 00:45:40,480
There.
863
00:45:40,481 --> 00:45:42,363
This way or that way?
864
00:45:42,364 --> 00:45:43,674
There.
865
00:45:43,727 --> 00:45:45,129
- Oh.
- The Hexagon.
866
00:45:45,130 --> 00:45:47,292
But I won't fight a one-armed man.
867
00:45:47,293 --> 00:45:50,259
Oh, no. I've got this,
Sherlock.
868
00:45:50,260 --> 00:45:52,823
It won't be the first time I've
fought a cripple.
869
00:45:52,824 --> 00:45:54,660
Oh, uh...
870
00:45:54,670 --> 00:45:55,589
You won't be fighting me.
871
00:45:55,590 --> 00:45:57,752
Nah, nah, nah.
872
00:45:57,753 --> 00:45:59,556
You're fighting my mate.
873
00:45:59,557 --> 00:46:01,817
Meet Brawn.
874
00:46:19,355 --> 00:46:21,925
Oh, come on.
875
00:46:22,521 --> 00:46:26,841
Well, I call bullshit.
876
00:46:27,771 --> 00:46:30,294
I fear it might be suicide
to fight this man.
877
00:46:30,295 --> 00:46:36,266
I think it's mostly psychological.
878
00:46:36,267 --> 00:46:38,470
I'm psychologically
scared shitless right now.
879
00:46:38,471 --> 00:46:42,321
Fight! Fight! Fight!
880
00:46:43,641 --> 00:46:45,523
Okay. Okay.
881
00:46:45,524 --> 00:46:48,489
But if you want to watch
this fight, you have to pay.
882
00:46:48,490 --> 00:46:50,252
You have to pay to view it.
883
00:46:50,253 --> 00:46:53,339
This is a pay-to-view-it fight.
884
00:46:53,340 --> 00:46:55,462
Yes, I know it seems a bit unfair,
885
00:46:55,463 --> 00:46:57,266
but if you split it among a few friends
886
00:46:57,267 --> 00:46:58,949
and buy some beers, some pizza,
887
00:46:58,950 --> 00:47:01,273
it could be a fun thing to do
with the guys.
888
00:47:01,274 --> 00:47:03,524
It's time!
889
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:10,731
Let's get ready to scuffle!
890
00:47:10,732 --> 00:47:13,560
Scuffle! Scuffle! Scuffle!
891
00:47:13,570 --> 00:47:14,178
Nice!
892
00:47:14,179 --> 00:47:15,540
What is she doing here?
893
00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:17,104
It's 6:00 in the morning.
894
00:47:17,105 --> 00:47:18,786
Holmes, I don't know why...
895
00:47:18,787 --> 00:47:20,510
Yes... but that really jacked me up.
896
00:47:20,511 --> 00:47:22,474
Ah! I think I might stand a chance.
897
00:47:22,475 --> 00:47:24,398
It reminds me of Istanbul.
898
00:47:24,399 --> 00:47:27,202
Exactly. And what
did I beat in Istanbul?
899
00:47:27,203 --> 00:47:28,926
Syphilis!
Syphilis! Exactly.
900
00:47:28,927 --> 00:47:30,930
Go get him.
All right.
901
00:47:30,931 --> 00:47:32,920
Come on!
902
00:47:32,930 --> 00:47:33,535
"Come on"?
You come on!
903
00:47:33,536 --> 00:47:34,526
You!
904
00:47:35,990 --> 00:47:39,419
You mountain of flesh.
905
00:47:45,559 --> 00:47:47,761
Your turn, Mr. Holmes!
906
00:47:47,762 --> 00:47:54,442
Yes, I know.
Of course I'm next.
907
00:47:55,177 --> 00:47:57,621
Opponent, 350 pounds.
908
00:47:57,622 --> 00:47:59,183
Use pipe.
909
00:47:59,184 --> 00:48:03,552
Create diversion to distract his gaze.
910
00:48:03,553 --> 00:48:05,635
Plan of attack,
911
00:48:05,636 --> 00:48:08,521
surprise first blow to center of mass.
912
00:48:08,522 --> 00:48:11,326
Gracefully dodge counterpunch.
913
00:48:11,327 --> 00:48:14,572
Employ visual impairment.
914
00:48:14,573 --> 00:48:17,138
Easily duck wild swing.
915
00:48:17,139 --> 00:48:20,424
Utilize Tibetan ototoxic method
916
00:48:20,425 --> 00:48:23,790
to disrupt his balance.
917
00:48:23,791 --> 00:48:25,730
Grab facial hair.
918
00:48:25,740 --> 00:48:26,836
Use for leverage.
919
00:48:26,837 --> 00:48:30,687
Okinawan beard flip.
920
00:48:31,325 --> 00:48:33,729
Enemy incapacitated.
921
00:48:33,730 --> 00:48:35,990
Catch pipe.
922
00:48:36,140 --> 00:48:41,284
Revel in crowd's adulation.
923
00:48:53,768 --> 00:48:55,388
Oh, no.
924
00:48:58,257 --> 00:48:59,418
Good show, Watson.
925
00:48:59,419 --> 00:49:02,624
Thank you, Holmes.
926
00:49:02,625 --> 00:49:04,428
Break his pelvis.
927
00:49:04,429 --> 00:49:06,529
Go! Again!
928
00:49:06,672 --> 00:49:11,932
Club him like a baby seal.
929
00:49:14,127 --> 00:49:16,900
What have I done?
No, you're fine.
930
00:49:16,910 --> 00:49:17,853
Okay.
Now,
931
00:49:17,854 --> 00:49:21,861
tell us everything you know
about the plot to kill the Queen.
932
00:49:21,862 --> 00:49:23,142
All right.
933
00:49:23,143 --> 00:49:26,990
I'll tell you everything I know.
934
00:49:26,991 --> 00:49:31,239
I've been stabbed in the back.
935
00:49:31,240 --> 00:49:32,521
Meaning?
Oh.
936
00:49:32,522 --> 00:49:34,324
Metaphorically speaking, yes.
937
00:49:34,325 --> 00:49:39,454
No, I've literally
been stabbed in the back...
938
00:49:39,455 --> 00:49:43,775
Holmes, he's escaping.
939
00:49:49,755 --> 00:49:51,437
So Moriarty is in England.
940
00:49:51,438 --> 00:49:54,603
Watson.
Does it look like Moriarty
941
00:49:54,604 --> 00:49:55,594
now?
942
00:49:56,608 --> 00:49:58,490
Who is this?
943
00:49:58,500 --> 00:50:00,133
Jacob Musgrave,
944
00:50:00,134 --> 00:50:02,378
as I've been saying all along.
945
00:50:02,379 --> 00:50:04,582
A man who looks so much like Moriarty,
946
00:50:04,583 --> 00:50:07,227
a simple beard fooled almost everyone.
947
00:50:07,228 --> 00:50:08,629
All right, I admit it.
948
00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:10,593
I am no Moriarty.
949
00:50:10,594 --> 00:50:12,236
My name is Musgrave,
950
00:50:12,237 --> 00:50:14,922
just like he says.
951
00:50:14,923 --> 00:50:17,500
- Wow.
- Who put you up to this?
952
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,292
Oh, they've been leaving me
notes telling me what to do.
953
00:50:20,293 --> 00:50:21,534
I don't know who it is.
954
00:50:21,535 --> 00:50:23,938
I swear, I'm just a simple wanker.
955
00:50:23,939 --> 00:50:25,942
He's telling the truth, Watson.
956
00:50:25,943 --> 00:50:28,467
This morally deficient creature,
957
00:50:28,468 --> 00:50:32,154
this awful, awful excuse
for a man, this...
958
00:50:32,155 --> 00:50:34,559
Bag of rubbish.
Yes, good one, Watson. Yes.
959
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:36,402
Come on, guys. I'm dying.
960
00:50:36,403 --> 00:50:38,967
These are the wages of wanking, you see?
961
00:50:38,968 --> 00:50:41,172
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
962
00:50:41,173 --> 00:50:42,293
Just a...
963
00:50:42,294 --> 00:50:44,938
Don't wank on us.
964
00:50:44,939 --> 00:50:46,559
A coal.
965
00:50:46,903 --> 00:50:51,191
Said you were to take it to Newcastle.
966
00:50:51,192 --> 00:50:53,515
- A lump of coal?
- Yeah.
967
00:50:53,516 --> 00:50:54,837
To Newcastle?
968
00:50:54,838 --> 00:50:56,801
Newcastle by the river?
969
00:50:56,802 --> 00:50:59,727
Perhaps this clue will
lead us to the real mastermind.
970
00:50:59,728 --> 00:51:00,809
Time is running out.
971
00:51:00,810 --> 00:51:02,131
We must save the Queen.
972
00:51:02,132 --> 00:51:05,652
Good luck to you.
973
00:51:07,262 --> 00:51:09,545
♪ While speeding to London town
974
00:51:09,546 --> 00:51:12,231
♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down
975
00:51:12,232 --> 00:51:14,875
♪ Keep smiling and forget that frown
976
00:51:14,876 --> 00:51:17,360
♪ Little reason to keep that crown
977
00:51:17,361 --> 00:51:20,450
♪ While speeding to London town
978
00:51:20,460 --> 00:51:22,811
♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down
979
00:51:22,812 --> 00:51:25,335
♪ Keep smiling
and forget that frown... ♪
980
00:51:25,336 --> 00:51:28,501
Bring these coals to Newcastle.
981
00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:29,812
Coals.
982
00:51:30,346 --> 00:51:32,588
Coals. "Sherlock."
983
00:51:32,589 --> 00:51:35,675
"Three days until I rewrite
history and kill the queen."
984
00:51:35,676 --> 00:51:37,438
Millicent is the subject of my research.
985
00:51:37,439 --> 00:51:39,402
Coals to Newcastle.
986
00:51:39,403 --> 00:51:41,606
Talking to you, it's as if our
brains are sharing a tandem bicycle.
987
00:51:41,607 --> 00:51:43,570
She has the mental capacity of...
988
00:51:43,571 --> 00:51:45,530
Now you have but three days...
989
00:51:45,540 --> 00:51:46,615
Bring these coals to Newcastle.
990
00:51:46,616 --> 00:51:49,581
♪ Co-detective Sherlock and me ♪
991
00:51:49,582 --> 00:51:50,824
Uh... Oh.
992
00:51:50,825 --> 00:51:52,988
Good morning, Sherlock.
993
00:51:52,989 --> 00:51:54,631
What's happened?
Well, I'm...
994
00:51:54,632 --> 00:51:56,955
I'm trying to untangle
this baffling clue.
995
00:51:56,956 --> 00:51:57,786
Ah.
996
00:51:58,319 --> 00:52:00,642
Ever since I met Millie,
my mind is muddled.
997
00:52:00,643 --> 00:52:02,766
Do you suppose she's infected me
998
00:52:02,767 --> 00:52:04,851
with some sort of a disease?
999
00:52:04,852 --> 00:52:05,973
Disease?
1000
00:52:05,974 --> 00:52:07,655
My heart races.
1001
00:52:07,656 --> 00:52:09,580
My palms sweat.
1002
00:52:09,590 --> 00:52:10,821
I have all these feelings.
1003
00:52:10,822 --> 00:52:14,669
Holmes, get a hold of yourself.
You're not sick.
1004
00:52:14,670 --> 00:52:15,872
You're in love.
1005
00:52:15,873 --> 00:52:17,955
Love? Horseradish!
1006
00:52:17,956 --> 00:52:19,278
I'm a man of logic.
1007
00:52:19,279 --> 00:52:21,810
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
1008
00:52:21,820 --> 00:52:25,610
In fact, I, too, have been taken
by this malady called love.
1009
00:52:25,611 --> 00:52:28,695
Grace has asked me to call upon her.
1010
00:52:28,696 --> 00:52:30,499
Apparently,
1011
00:52:30,500 --> 00:52:34,907
I sent her quite the charming
telegram last night.
1012
00:52:34,908 --> 00:52:36,871
Watson, you've cracked it.
1013
00:52:36,872 --> 00:52:38,314
Have I? Co-detective?
1014
00:52:38,315 --> 00:52:39,637
Think, Watson.
Uh...
1015
00:52:39,638 --> 00:52:41,160
Is there a single logical reason
1016
00:52:41,161 --> 00:52:43,684
for Grace to want to seek your company?
1017
00:52:43,685 --> 00:52:45,167
Romantic interest?
1018
00:52:45,168 --> 00:52:46,931
No.
My eyes?
1019
00:52:46,932 --> 00:52:48,133
It's all a ruse.
1020
00:52:48,134 --> 00:52:50,256
Moriarty escapes to America,
1021
00:52:50,257 --> 00:52:53,262
and then these two
American women show up?
1022
00:52:53,263 --> 00:52:57,290
Sorry, you're saying
Grace is the killer?
1023
00:52:57,300 --> 00:52:59,795
Of course she's not the killer.
She's an American.
1024
00:52:59,796 --> 00:53:02,199
She would have used a gun.
Ah. Hmm.
1025
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:05,205
No, Grace is working for the killer.
1026
00:53:05,206 --> 00:53:06,360
Oh.
1027
00:53:06,328 --> 00:53:08,291
We shall seduce her,
1028
00:53:08,292 --> 00:53:10,415
and that will lead us to the murderer.
1029
00:53:10,416 --> 00:53:12,196
Mmm-hmm.
1030
00:53:12,340 --> 00:53:13,140
Yes.
1031
00:53:13,141 --> 00:53:16,141
Well, we best get you cleaned
up and dressed then, eh?
1032
00:53:16,142 --> 00:53:18,332
Thank you Watson.
1033
00:53:18,333 --> 00:53:21,333
Oh. You're still here.
1034
00:53:21,334 --> 00:53:27,334
Hudson. What are you doing in my room again?
I told you, I will clean it from now on.
1035
00:53:27,335 --> 00:53:30,000
You have your own room.
Under the stairs!
1036
00:53:30,100 --> 00:53:33,456
Out! Out!
Come Along...
1037
00:53:33,457 --> 00:53:38,247
You've soiled it enough!
1038
00:53:38,458 --> 00:53:42,458
Ugh... Good God.
Harry Houdini and Albert Einstein.
1039
00:53:42,459 --> 00:53:46,259
Really? What kind of three
backed beast is this?
1040
00:53:46,260 --> 00:53:50,260
There's sometimes more.
I pray in there, that room is a sanctuary.
1041
00:53:50,261 --> 00:53:56,461
I know... If you only knew the things I've done
in that bed. I would just get rid of it if I was you.
1042
00:53:56,462 --> 00:54:00,462
Why are you bringing all of these
men in here? Stick to your broomstick!
1043
00:54:00,463 --> 00:54:09,193
C'mon. Move it! You've got a job to finish!
1044
00:54:09,208 --> 00:54:10,730
Who could that be at this early hour?
1045
00:54:10,731 --> 00:54:12,410
Enter.
1046
00:54:18,866 --> 00:54:21,286
Her Majesty.
1047
00:54:21,752 --> 00:54:24,716
Have you come to see me?
1048
00:54:24,717 --> 00:54:27,722
Mr. Holmes, I have
but two days left to live
1049
00:54:27,723 --> 00:54:30,607
unless you can solve this case.
1050
00:54:30,608 --> 00:54:33,773
My queen, do come in.
1051
00:54:33,774 --> 00:54:38,943
I shall speak with
Mr. Holmes in private.
1052
00:54:38,944 --> 00:54:40,546
Your Majesty.
1053
00:54:40,547 --> 00:54:42,190
You'll be happy to know
1054
00:54:42,191 --> 00:54:45,350
that, just this morning
we discovered a new clue.
1055
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:46,958
This chunk of coal.
1056
00:54:46,959 --> 00:54:48,321
What does it mean?
1057
00:54:48,322 --> 00:54:51,848
It's quite a mystery.
1058
00:54:51,849 --> 00:54:53,651
Is this going to be a problem?
1059
00:54:53,652 --> 00:54:55,122
Watson.
1060
00:54:55,135 --> 00:54:57,178
Perhaps the Queen would enjoy some tea.
1061
00:54:57,179 --> 00:55:00,143
Oh, yes, of course.
1062
00:55:00,144 --> 00:55:03,630
Mr. Holmes, the empire
is depending on you.
1063
00:55:03,631 --> 00:55:07,317
Your Majesty, I now
suspect two American women
1064
00:55:07,318 --> 00:55:10,363
are somehow involved in this plot.
1065
00:55:10,364 --> 00:55:11,674
Sorry.
1066
00:55:12,168 --> 00:55:13,810
Your Majesty,
1067
00:55:13,811 --> 00:55:16,815
do you think I could have
a picture of us together?
1068
00:55:16,816 --> 00:55:19,200
But who is going to take the photograph?
1069
00:55:19,210 --> 00:55:21,230
Oh, no, I'll take the photograph.
1070
00:55:21,240 --> 00:55:23,628
You see, it's a type
of a self-photograph.
1071
00:55:23,629 --> 00:55:26,720
I can take it, and I will be in it also.
1072
00:55:26,730 --> 00:55:29,380
You know what? I find, to take
the most attractive photographs,
1073
00:55:29,390 --> 00:55:30,682
you need to purse your lips together
1074
00:55:30,683 --> 00:55:32,845
like a duck-billed platypus.
1075
00:55:32,846 --> 00:55:36,853
Platypus face.
Chins up.
1076
00:55:36,854 --> 00:55:39,378
Hey.
Hey. Hey, girl.
1077
00:55:39,379 --> 00:55:41,262
You know, maybe over by the window.
1078
00:55:41,263 --> 00:55:44,708
The lighting's much better there.
Yes, yes, capital idea.
1079
00:55:44,709 --> 00:55:46,992
- Oh, God. Ma'am, ma'am.
- Oh! Oh!
1080
00:55:46,993 --> 00:55:48,836
Ma'am! Your Majesty.
1081
00:55:48,837 --> 00:55:50,880
Oh, ma'am. Ma'am.
1082
00:55:50,881 --> 00:55:52,821
Oh, dear.
1083
00:55:53,285 --> 00:55:56,900
Tell me, Watson.
1084
00:55:56,910 --> 00:55:58,501
She's dead.
1085
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:01,360
Dear God.
1086
00:56:02,503 --> 00:56:04,787
We've killed the Queen.
1087
00:56:04,788 --> 00:56:07,111
Are you all right, Your Majesty?
1088
00:56:07,112 --> 00:56:08,102
Yes.
1089
00:56:08,474 --> 00:56:10,157
- Yes, I'm all right.
- Are you sure?
1090
00:56:10,158 --> 00:56:11,800
Yes, I'm quite fine.
1091
00:56:11,801 --> 00:56:16,408
My lover, John Watson,
will take good care of me.
1092
00:56:16,409 --> 00:56:18,853
Why did you want that photograph?
1093
00:56:18,854 --> 00:56:21,177
I didn't want the photograph.
1094
00:56:21,178 --> 00:56:23,141
What are you talking about?
1095
00:56:23,142 --> 00:56:25,650
Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson?
1096
00:56:25,660 --> 00:56:26,988
I'm very, very safe.
1097
00:56:26,989 --> 00:56:29,914
She's so dead.
She's so dead.
1098
00:56:29,915 --> 00:56:31,116
- I know.
- Okay.
1099
00:56:31,117 --> 00:56:33,121
We'll shove her down the toilet
1100
00:56:33,122 --> 00:56:35,164
as if she was never here, and
we'll deny ever seeing her.
1101
00:56:35,165 --> 00:56:36,928
Right. Excellent.
1102
00:56:36,929 --> 00:56:40,940
Come on.
Come up.
1103
00:56:40,950 --> 00:56:43,420
Here we are.
Into the bathroom.
1104
00:56:43,421 --> 00:56:45,230
Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson.
1105
00:56:45,240 --> 00:56:46,505
What was the big bang?
1106
00:56:46,506 --> 00:56:47,988
We must buy some time.
1107
00:56:47,989 --> 00:56:49,351
Right.
Let's get her to the door.
1108
00:56:49,352 --> 00:56:51,115
Open this door!
Wait.
1109
00:56:51,116 --> 00:56:52,597
Hello. What do you want?
1110
00:56:52,598 --> 00:56:54,000
Ma'am, are you all right?
1111
00:56:54,100 --> 00:56:56,364
Yes, of course I'm fine.
Can't you see?
1112
00:56:56,365 --> 00:56:57,687
Yes, of course, ma'am.
I'm so sorry.
1113
00:56:57,688 --> 00:56:58,889
We've got it from here, boys. Thank you.
1114
00:56:58,890 --> 00:57:01,494
- We're good.
- Yes, sir.
1115
00:57:01,495 --> 00:57:02,816
The trunk.
Yes.
1116
00:57:02,817 --> 00:57:06,230
Yes, we'll mail her to Africa.
1117
00:57:06,240 --> 00:57:07,586
Come on, ma'am.
Sorry.
1118
00:57:07,587 --> 00:57:08,708
There we go.
1119
00:57:08,709 --> 00:57:10,300
Stuff her in there.
1120
00:57:10,310 --> 00:57:11,273
Really thrust.
1121
00:57:11,274 --> 00:57:13,437
Good. Good.
1122
00:57:13,438 --> 00:57:15,200
Good. Good.
1123
00:57:15,201 --> 00:57:16,843
- Hold on, Watson.
- Come on, boys.
1124
00:57:16,844 --> 00:57:18,807
Open the door!
1125
00:57:18,808 --> 00:57:20,690
Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson.
1126
00:57:20,691 --> 00:57:24,137
One, two, three. Watch your fingers.
1127
00:57:24,138 --> 00:57:26,181
Open this door immediately!
1128
00:57:26,182 --> 00:57:27,784
This is bad.
1129
00:57:27,785 --> 00:57:30,229
You know what we must do.
1130
00:57:30,230 --> 00:57:31,792
Grab your toolbox.
1131
00:57:31,793 --> 00:57:35,920
Let me in! I'm breaking down the door!
1132
00:57:35,921 --> 00:57:38,840
Bone saw.
Bone saw.
1133
00:57:38,850 --> 00:57:39,526
- Oh, God.
- Come on! Push! Come on, together!
1134
00:57:39,527 --> 00:57:42,372
Watson, toilet-sized chunks.
1135
00:57:42,373 --> 00:57:46,843
Put your back into it!
1136
00:57:47,620 --> 00:57:48,503
Good God!
1137
00:57:48,504 --> 00:57:51,669
What have you done?
1138
00:57:51,670 --> 00:57:54,410
Platypus lips.
1139
00:58:00,126 --> 00:58:05,135
Can you send me a copy
of the self-photograph?
1140
00:58:05,136 --> 00:58:07,246
Absolutely.
1141
00:58:07,460 --> 00:58:13,310
It will arrive
at the palace in about a week.
1142
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:14,393
Gentlemen,
1143
00:58:14,394 --> 00:58:18,160
you have two days to stop this killer.
1144
00:58:18,161 --> 00:58:20,404
Yes, ma'am.
1145
00:58:20,405 --> 00:58:24,245
God save the Queen.
1146
00:58:26,817 --> 00:58:30,383
What a perfect day for a picnic
at London's greatest spectacle,
1147
00:58:30,384 --> 00:58:32,668
the Anglo-American Exhibition.
1148
00:58:32,669 --> 00:58:34,711
A celebration of that
special relationship
1149
00:58:34,712 --> 00:58:36,595
between our nation and yours.
1150
00:58:36,596 --> 00:58:38,679
Yes, such a special relationship
1151
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:40,723
between these two nations,
1152
00:58:40,724 --> 00:58:42,807
although I could never live
1153
00:58:42,808 --> 00:58:44,851
in a country with an unelected ruler
1154
00:58:44,852 --> 00:58:46,130
like the Queen.
1155
00:58:46,140 --> 00:58:48,170
Why ever not?
1156
00:58:48,180 --> 00:58:50,261
In America, we have democracy.
1157
00:58:50,262 --> 00:58:53,226
Our president is a person
our people have all chosen.
1158
00:58:53,227 --> 00:58:54,217
Mmm.
1159
00:58:54,230 --> 00:58:58,597
An assurance that only the finest
and most qualified man will lead,
1160
00:58:58,598 --> 00:59:02,645
not a wealthy tyrant who
cares for nothing but himself.
1161
00:59:02,646 --> 00:59:05,409
But you have the electoral
college, which surely will prevent
1162
00:59:05,410 --> 00:59:07,855
some trumped-up charlatan
from gaining power.
1163
00:59:07,856 --> 00:59:09,577
Not always, unfortunately.
1164
00:59:09,578 --> 00:59:11,822
It would be great
to have a strong businessman.
1165
00:59:11,823 --> 00:59:13,425
But a showman as well.
1166
00:59:13,426 --> 00:59:14,907
I love a good show.
1167
00:59:14,908 --> 00:59:16,538
America.
1168
00:59:17,330 --> 00:59:29,733
We gave you your freedom, and now
look what you've done with it.
1169
00:59:42,962 --> 00:59:44,724
Remember, Watson.
1170
00:59:44,725 --> 00:59:48,372
Relax them with small talk,
then begin the seduction.
1171
00:59:48,373 --> 00:59:50,940
I must say, she doesn't look
1172
00:59:50,950 --> 00:59:53,301
like she could be
an accessory to murder.
1173
00:59:53,302 --> 00:59:57,228
Well, looks can be deceiving.
1174
00:59:57,229 --> 00:59:59,753
Remember, we're here to seduce.
1175
00:59:59,754 --> 01:00:03,961
These physical displays of
strength will enchant them.
1176
01:00:03,962 --> 01:00:04,792
Ah.
1177
01:00:08,571 --> 01:00:10,520
I could use a bit of cocaine.
1178
01:00:10,530 --> 01:00:15,503
Did you bring a vial with you?
1179
01:00:15,504 --> 01:00:17,604
Very good.
1180
01:00:24,962 --> 01:00:27,526
Are you all right?
I'm... I'm exhausted.
1181
01:00:27,527 --> 01:00:30,110
There is one test I can employ
1182
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:32,815
to prove she truly is
who she says she is.
1183
01:00:32,816 --> 01:00:34,299
Then do it, Holmes.
1184
01:00:34,300 --> 01:00:39,829
Employ your last test.
I simply must know.
1185
01:00:39,830 --> 01:00:41,232
Help!
John?
1186
01:00:41,233 --> 01:00:42,995
- This man has been taken ill.
- What?
1187
01:00:42,996 --> 01:00:43,826
Oh!
1188
01:00:45,441 --> 01:00:46,842
Let me see.
1189
01:00:46,843 --> 01:00:48,886
If only there were a doctor present.
1190
01:00:48,887 --> 01:00:52,212
Clearly, he's had a severe
blow to his occipital bone.
1191
01:00:52,213 --> 01:00:53,414
He's concussed.
1192
01:00:53,415 --> 01:00:55,820
And I am a doctor.
A doctor?
1193
01:00:55,821 --> 01:00:59,260
A woman doctor. What times we live in.
1194
01:00:59,270 --> 01:01:00,869
Could it be?
1195
01:01:00,870 --> 01:01:03,675
Is Grace truly a doctor?
1196
01:01:03,676 --> 01:01:06,199
Are her feelings of affection genuine?
1197
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:08,163
Then she's innocent.
1198
01:01:08,164 --> 01:01:09,525
Watson, get up.
1199
01:01:09,526 --> 01:01:10,888
We need to go see my brother.
1200
01:01:10,889 --> 01:01:15,296
I love you, Grace.
Oh!
1201
01:01:15,297 --> 01:01:17,901
The legendary Diogenes Men's Club.
1202
01:01:17,902 --> 01:01:20,426
Home of London's most awkward gentlemen
1203
01:01:20,427 --> 01:01:23,432
and my brother.
1204
01:01:23,433 --> 01:01:24,794
Holmes.
Mmm.
1205
01:01:24,795 --> 01:01:26,317
I can't believe you have a brother.
1206
01:01:26,318 --> 01:01:28,321
Yes, but we're nothing alike.
1207
01:01:28,322 --> 01:01:30,766
He's an arrogant man
who never appreciates
1208
01:01:30,767 --> 01:01:32,529
the people around him.
1209
01:01:32,530 --> 01:01:35,740
Follow me. Here.
1210
01:01:38,462 --> 01:01:41,832
Well, well, well.
1211
01:01:42,470 --> 01:01:45,835
So you are finally seeking
your brother's help.
1212
01:01:45,836 --> 01:01:47,998
I must say, I'm not surprised.
1213
01:01:47,999 --> 01:01:50,644
And this vague assembly
of limbs and fatty tissue,
1214
01:01:50,645 --> 01:01:52,167
I assume, is Dr. Watson.
1215
01:01:52,168 --> 01:01:53,158
Mmm.
1216
01:02:06,475 --> 01:02:11,123
So shall I get us started?
1217
01:02:11,124 --> 01:02:12,967
Watson, please.
1218
01:02:12,968 --> 01:02:15,100
We're in the middle of a conversation.
1219
01:02:15,110 --> 01:02:16,853
Can't you see?
1220
01:02:16,854 --> 01:02:18,697
When the two most brilliant
minds in all of England
1221
01:02:18,698 --> 01:02:20,600
have a fraternal bond,
1222
01:02:20,610 --> 01:02:22,184
words are an inefficiency.
1223
01:02:22,185 --> 01:02:24,749
We communicate without words, silently,
1224
01:02:24,750 --> 01:02:27,233
from giant brain to gianter brain.
1225
01:02:27,234 --> 01:02:29,370
Of course.
1226
01:02:29,380 --> 01:02:34,598
I'll join in as I see fit.
1227
01:02:34,769 --> 01:02:37,653
I can spare a few minutes
to solve your little mystery
1228
01:02:37,654 --> 01:02:40,779
and help quench your thirst
for public adulation.
1229
01:02:40,780 --> 01:02:43,264
My thirst is for logic.
1230
01:02:43,265 --> 01:02:47,231
I don't care what the public thinks
of London's best-loved detective,
1231
01:02:47,232 --> 01:02:48,473
Sherlock Holmes.
1232
01:02:48,474 --> 01:02:50,264
Thoughts.
1233
01:02:50,278 --> 01:02:52,281
Me-Me talky.
1234
01:02:52,282 --> 01:02:53,683
Me-Me talky.
1235
01:02:53,684 --> 01:02:55,247
You find killer.
1236
01:02:55,248 --> 01:02:58,453
Me-Me talky?
We find killer?
1237
01:02:58,454 --> 01:03:01,970
Watson, what are you trying to do?
1238
01:03:01,980 --> 01:03:02,380
Trying to brain-speak.
1239
01:03:02,381 --> 01:03:04,424
You're going to hurt yourself.
1240
01:03:04,425 --> 01:03:06,428
Uh, sorry.
1241
01:03:06,429 --> 01:03:08,913
Uh, perhaps the gentleman
would be more comfortable
1242
01:03:08,914 --> 01:03:11,758
in the companions' chamber.
1243
01:03:11,759 --> 01:03:15,325
Perhaps, or perhaps I'd be
comfortable here by the fire.
1244
01:03:15,326 --> 01:03:16,767
In the companions' chamber, sir.
1245
01:03:16,768 --> 01:03:18,900
Yes, fine. Of course.
1246
01:03:18,910 --> 01:03:19,974
Great idea.
Yeah, capital idea.
1247
01:03:19,975 --> 01:03:21,617
I'll be in the companions' room. Yes.
1248
01:03:21,618 --> 01:03:24,703
The equal companions' room,
should you need me.
1249
01:03:24,704 --> 01:03:27,904
It's just here.
1250
01:03:31,596 --> 01:03:33,399
Please enjoy the company
of your fellow companions.
1251
01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:35,483
I see. Huh.
1252
01:03:35,484 --> 01:03:40,920
Balloons are happy,
but they're not alive.
1253
01:03:40,930 --> 01:03:42,513
Fair enough.
1254
01:03:46,224 --> 01:03:50,592
Who is this brilliant
nemesis capable of besting me?
1255
01:03:50,593 --> 01:03:54,380
If your nemesis
were truly smarter than you,
1256
01:03:54,390 --> 01:03:56,430
it could only be me.
1257
01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:58,367
And as I am not the killer,
one must conclude
1258
01:03:58,368 --> 01:04:01,733
that the killer did not,
nor could not, outwit you.
1259
01:04:01,734 --> 01:04:04,858
If the killer
is my intellectual inferior,
1260
01:04:04,859 --> 01:04:07,630
how has he predicted my every move?
1261
01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:08,786
The killer did not predict your actions.
1262
01:04:08,787 --> 01:04:11,300
Our murderer is a student of yours,
1263
01:04:11,310 --> 01:04:12,674
someone in your proximity.
1264
01:04:12,675 --> 01:04:14,838
Someone who could
observe you undetected.
1265
01:04:14,839 --> 01:04:17,403
Someone who knows you
better than anyone.
1266
01:04:17,404 --> 01:04:18,926
His mind radiates wisdom.
1267
01:04:18,927 --> 01:04:24,255
Sherlock Holmes has done it again!
1268
01:04:24,256 --> 01:04:25,738
I am dying from anticipation.
1269
01:04:25,739 --> 01:04:27,141
What did your brother tell you, Holmes?
1270
01:04:27,142 --> 01:04:29,145
I believe I've cracked the case.
1271
01:04:29,146 --> 01:04:31,950
It was in front of me the
whole time, my dear Watson.
1272
01:04:31,951 --> 01:04:33,273
Oh, do share.
1273
01:04:33,274 --> 01:04:35,277
And ruin the suspense?
1274
01:04:35,278 --> 01:04:37,922
I just thought, since I
worked the case with you...
1275
01:04:37,923 --> 01:04:41,123
And we're here.
1276
01:04:42,900 --> 01:04:43,800
Now,
1277
01:04:43,694 --> 01:04:47,219
you're all wondering why
I gathered you here today.
1278
01:04:47,220 --> 01:04:50,625
Prepare yourself to be astonished.
1279
01:04:50,626 --> 01:04:52,280
The killer could only be a man
1280
01:04:52,290 --> 01:04:54,633
who knew my actions at every turn.
1281
01:04:54,634 --> 01:04:57,319
Who was present at every murder?
1282
01:04:57,320 --> 01:04:58,310
Hmm?
1283
01:04:58,722 --> 01:05:01,366
Who knows me better than anyone?
1284
01:05:01,367 --> 01:05:04,372
It was you who arranged
my birthday party
1285
01:05:04,373 --> 01:05:07,297
and the cake which contained
the first victim,
1286
01:05:07,298 --> 01:05:11,650
initiating the events
leading us to today.
1287
01:05:11,660 --> 01:05:16,160
Dr. Watson is the killer.
1288
01:05:16,997 --> 01:05:18,398
By studying my methods,
1289
01:05:18,399 --> 01:05:21,564
you created a fake crime
only you could solve.
1290
01:05:21,565 --> 01:05:24,210
Why? I was to be so impressed
1291
01:05:24,211 --> 01:05:27,550
that I would crown him co-detective.
1292
01:05:27,560 --> 01:05:29,740
He wanted to rewrite history
1293
01:05:29,741 --> 01:05:34,221
by becoming my partner.
1294
01:05:35,432 --> 01:05:38,637
Okay. Now the part about
how I could never have done it
1295
01:05:38,638 --> 01:05:40,721
and on to the surprising real killer.
1296
01:05:40,722 --> 01:05:42,324
I wonder who it's going to be.
1297
01:05:42,325 --> 01:05:44,609
When one eliminates the impossible,
1298
01:05:44,610 --> 01:05:47,494
whatever remains, however improbable,
1299
01:05:47,495 --> 01:05:49,858
is the truth.
1300
01:05:49,859 --> 01:05:52,503
But this is absurd.
1301
01:05:52,504 --> 01:05:54,670
Holmes, you must know in your heart...
1302
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:56,110
The heart is for pumping blood.
1303
01:05:56,111 --> 01:05:59,760
The truth is the truth!
1304
01:05:59,770 --> 01:06:00,227
Truth
1305
01:06:00,921 --> 01:06:04,927
is that I have devoted my life to you.
1306
01:06:04,928 --> 01:06:06,450
And I was a fool to think
1307
01:06:06,451 --> 01:06:08,454
you would ever consider me
as a co-detective
1308
01:06:08,455 --> 01:06:13,784
when you're incapable of
thinking of me even as a friend!
1309
01:06:13,785 --> 01:06:15,988
Inspector Lestrade, take him.
1310
01:06:15,989 --> 01:06:17,271
Go on.
1311
01:06:17,272 --> 01:06:18,674
The man is your closest friend.
1312
01:06:18,675 --> 01:06:20,797
Your pursuit of Moriarty has failed.
1313
01:06:20,798 --> 01:06:22,680
You have no suspects.
1314
01:06:22,681 --> 01:06:25,286
The killer still threatens
to kill the Queen.
1315
01:06:25,287 --> 01:06:28,131
Is that a chance you're willing to take?
1316
01:06:28,132 --> 01:06:31,342
Take him.
What?
1317
01:06:33,342 --> 01:06:35,505
Do you see his propensity for violence?
1318
01:06:35,506 --> 01:06:37,990
- Do you still doubt me?
- Calm down.
1319
01:06:37,991 --> 01:06:43,720
I shall never again carry your
blasted magnifying glasses
1320
01:06:43,721 --> 01:06:46,205
or your jars of urine.
1321
01:06:46,206 --> 01:06:48,570
Why are we even saving these?
1322
01:06:48,571 --> 01:06:52,698
And you look stupid in that hat.
1323
01:06:52,699 --> 01:06:57,908
Your head was not meant for hats.
1324
01:06:57,909 --> 01:07:00,193
Unhand me! No!
1325
01:07:00,194 --> 01:07:04,120
I'll never forget you, John.
1326
01:07:04,121 --> 01:07:05,111
Why?
1327
01:07:05,483 --> 01:07:07,927
John Watson devoted his life to you,
1328
01:07:07,928 --> 01:07:09,770
and this is how you repay him?
1329
01:07:09,771 --> 01:07:13,577
Back to America with your
ham-dogs and hot-burgers.
1330
01:07:13,578 --> 01:07:16,383
At least, in America, our system's fair.
1331
01:07:16,384 --> 01:07:18,707
No citizen can be found guilty
1332
01:07:18,708 --> 01:07:23,917
till his case is heard by a jury
of white property-owning men.
1333
01:07:23,918 --> 01:07:30,628
Millie, surely, you must understand.
1334
01:07:35,621 --> 01:07:37,423
Fine, go!
1335
01:07:37,424 --> 01:07:40,388
I'm the greatest detective
who ever lived.
1336
01:07:40,389 --> 01:07:42,833
You're welcome for solving this case.
1337
01:07:42,834 --> 01:07:47,484
Sherlock abandons Watson!
1338
01:08:01,710 --> 01:08:06,980
Sherlock a washed up loser!
1339
01:08:39,181 --> 01:08:40,801
A tear?
1340
01:08:41,987 --> 01:08:45,667
What is this tear?
1341
01:08:46,475 --> 01:08:50,935
I... I can't stop it.
1342
01:08:54,570 --> 01:09:02,500
What is this warm feeling in my chest?
1343
01:09:03,548 --> 01:09:07,995
♪ Why am I reeling in confusion?
1344
01:09:07,996 --> 01:09:11,642
♪ What is this fever in my head?
1345
01:09:11,643 --> 01:09:13,165
♪ Is it pox?
1346
01:09:13,166 --> 01:09:14,607
♪ Maybe gout
1347
01:09:14,608 --> 01:09:17,614
♪ I can't seem to work it out
1348
01:09:17,615 --> 01:09:19,977
♪ And why
1349
01:09:19,978 --> 01:09:23,825
♪ Don't I feel triumphant?
1350
01:09:23,826 --> 01:09:26,671
♪ And why does it seem less than right
1351
01:09:26,672 --> 01:09:29,676
♪ That Watson's going to hang tonight
1352
01:09:29,677 --> 01:09:34,846
♪ And gasp and thrash
and choke until he's dead?
1353
01:09:34,847 --> 01:09:38,453
♪ What is this strange sensation
1354
01:09:38,454 --> 01:09:41,138
♪ Where did I go wrong?
1355
01:09:41,139 --> 01:09:44,344
♪ Why am I a sobbing, trembling mess?
1356
01:09:44,345 --> 01:09:46,628
♪ Soon my neck will snap in half
1357
01:09:46,629 --> 01:09:49,354
♪ I guess
♪ And yet I know somehow
1358
01:09:49,355 --> 01:09:52,921
♪ And yet right now
♪ If he could hear right now
1359
01:09:52,922 --> 01:09:57,970
♪ I would still forgive him
1360
01:09:57,971 --> 01:10:01,331
♪ More or less
1361
01:10:01,618 --> 01:10:04,502
♪ Please, I don't know
Upon whom else to call
1362
01:10:04,503 --> 01:10:07,348
♪ Nothing is making any sense at all
1363
01:10:07,349 --> 01:10:10,915
♪ Speak! I need your voice
To hear your voice
1364
01:10:10,916 --> 01:10:16,966
♪ So sweet, so pure, so wise
1365
01:10:18,170 --> 01:10:21,935
♪ Sometimes the irrational
1366
01:10:21,936 --> 01:10:25,542
♪ Is truer than the rational
1367
01:10:25,543 --> 01:10:28,789
♪ The heart can have its reasons
1368
01:10:28,790 --> 01:10:33,117
♪ Which the head knows nothing of
1369
01:10:33,118 --> 01:10:36,122
♪ Your brain says Watson's guilty
1370
01:10:36,123 --> 01:10:40,291
♪ But a stronger force says
"No, he's not"
1371
01:10:40,292 --> 01:10:42,940
♪ What is that force?
1372
01:10:42,950 --> 01:10:44,970
♪ It's... It's...
♪ Yes? What?
1373
01:10:44,980 --> 01:10:47,664
♪ It's love...
♪ Love?
1374
01:10:47,665 --> 01:10:51,592
♪ It's love
♪ It's love
1375
01:10:51,593 --> 01:10:53,716
♪ It's love
♪ It's love
1376
01:10:53,717 --> 01:10:56,601
♪ It's love
♪ It's love ♪
1377
01:10:56,602 --> 01:10:58,840
My God.
1378
01:10:58,850 --> 01:10:59,767
Did I push Watson away
1379
01:10:59,768 --> 01:11:02,573
because I feared losing him to Grace?
1380
01:11:02,574 --> 01:11:06,300
Somehow, I know in my heart...
1381
01:11:06,301 --> 01:11:08,424
Watson is innocent!
1382
01:11:08,425 --> 01:11:12,391
♪ Time to go and save
♪ Come save me now
1383
01:11:12,392 --> 01:11:21,248
♪ The man I love ♪
♪ The man I love ♪
1384
01:11:21,249 --> 01:11:22,719
Watson!
1385
01:11:22,732 --> 01:11:25,937
I discovered my emotions,
and I'm only 46.
1386
01:11:25,938 --> 01:11:29,308
Hang! Hang! Hang!
1387
01:11:32,431 --> 01:11:34,211
Oh, God.
1388
01:11:34,475 --> 01:11:36,758
Hang Dr. Watson!
Hang Dr. Watson!
1389
01:11:36,759 --> 01:11:39,322
The dogs seem really unnecessary.
1390
01:11:39,323 --> 01:11:41,113
Sherlock.
1391
01:11:41,889 --> 01:11:42,719
Oh.
1392
01:11:43,251 --> 01:11:45,341
It's you.
1393
01:11:45,495 --> 01:11:49,495
You've brought cake.
1394
01:11:54,352 --> 01:11:56,596
Watson! My brother!
1395
01:11:56,597 --> 01:11:58,559
Watson, where are you?
1396
01:11:58,560 --> 01:11:59,882
Where...
1397
01:11:59,883 --> 01:12:02,763
I'm too late.
1398
01:12:06,295 --> 01:12:07,765
Clever.
1399
01:12:07,898 --> 01:12:11,428
Very, very clever.
1400
01:12:17,396 --> 01:12:19,960
You were always so clever,
1401
01:12:19,961 --> 01:12:23,126
and I never appreciated it.
1402
01:12:23,127 --> 01:12:25,290
But it's not too late to make amends.
1403
01:12:25,291 --> 01:12:26,761
Watson!
1404
01:12:26,814 --> 01:12:34,508
I shouldn't have wasted
all my time singing!
1405
01:12:34,509 --> 01:12:36,191
Ah! Grimy news kids.
1406
01:12:36,192 --> 01:12:37,994
I desperately need your help.
1407
01:12:37,995 --> 01:12:39,838
Dr. Watson's in grave danger.
1408
01:12:39,839 --> 01:12:41,440
Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
1409
01:12:41,441 --> 01:12:43,400
Because of you, you wank!
1410
01:12:43,500 --> 01:12:44,246
I know.
1411
01:12:44,247 --> 01:12:46,900
But I know of a way to save him.
1412
01:12:46,100 --> 01:12:48,254
Please, please help me.
1413
01:12:48,255 --> 01:12:54,546
I must find a way
to the docks immediately.
1414
01:12:54,547 --> 01:12:56,280
"Moriarty's daughter
1415
01:12:56,290 --> 01:12:58,233
"did the one thing Moriarty never could.
1416
01:12:58,234 --> 01:13:02,881
"She defeated Sherlock Holmes
and assassinated the Queen.
1417
01:13:02,882 --> 01:13:05,526
"Sherlock Holmes,
the man whom I regarded
1418
01:13:05,527 --> 01:13:10,616
"as the best and the wisest
man whom I would ever know
1419
01:13:10,617 --> 01:13:13,507
"was a fraud."
1420
01:13:16,870 --> 01:13:18,512
It is done.
1421
01:13:18,513 --> 01:13:21,597
A devilish plan worthy of your father.
1422
01:13:21,598 --> 01:13:26,406
The last book in the Sherlock
Holmes canon is complete,
1423
01:13:26,407 --> 01:13:29,452
The Case of the Defeated Detective.
1424
01:13:29,453 --> 01:13:32,658
Daddy will be so proud.
1425
01:13:32,659 --> 01:13:34,261
Sherlock will be remembered
1426
01:13:34,262 --> 01:13:37,267
as the man who failed
to protect the Queen.
1427
01:13:37,268 --> 01:13:38,991
History shall be rewritten
1428
01:13:38,992 --> 01:13:43,438
at the hand of his
loyal partner, Dr. Watson.
1429
01:13:43,439 --> 01:13:45,362
I've done your bidding.
1430
01:13:45,363 --> 01:13:47,686
Now set me free.
1431
01:13:47,687 --> 01:13:50,132
You're gonna die here.
1432
01:13:50,133 --> 01:13:51,694
You gave me your word.
1433
01:13:51,695 --> 01:13:53,297
You swore on the life of the Queen.
1434
01:13:53,298 --> 01:13:57,240
I'm gonna kill the Queen,
you big eejit. Boys!
1435
01:13:57,250 --> 01:13:58,988
Mrs. Hudson is the killer?
Mmm-hmm.
1436
01:13:58,989 --> 01:14:00,190
Gorblimey!
1437
01:14:00,191 --> 01:14:01,674
How'd you work that out?
1438
01:14:01,675 --> 01:14:03,958
Why, it was Watson who told me.
1439
01:14:03,959 --> 01:14:06,522
You see, beet sugar.
1440
01:14:06,523 --> 01:14:09,368
Mrs. Hudson's family recipe
and Watson's favorite.
1441
01:14:09,369 --> 01:14:10,971
He never would have left crumbs behind
1442
01:14:10,972 --> 01:14:12,814
unless he was leaving me a clue.
1443
01:14:12,815 --> 01:14:16,301
For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's
origins are not so humble.
1444
01:14:16,302 --> 01:14:20,280
She is none other than the daughter
of Professor James Moriarty.
1445
01:14:20,290 --> 01:14:21,592
No, it ain't possible.
1446
01:14:21,593 --> 01:14:24,837
You see, Mrs. Hudson
never knew her father.
1447
01:14:24,838 --> 01:14:26,401
He was never present.
1448
01:14:26,402 --> 01:14:28,203
To gain his love,
1449
01:14:28,204 --> 01:14:30,127
she tried to pull off
the greatest crime ever.
1450
01:14:30,128 --> 01:14:33,133
Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes.
1451
01:14:33,134 --> 01:14:36,580
She took a job at my house
in order to study my methods,
1452
01:14:36,581 --> 01:14:39,906
then used a network of patsies
to execute her plans.
1453
01:14:39,907 --> 01:14:42,831
However, it wasn't until
I understood feelings
1454
01:14:42,832 --> 01:14:44,835
that I understood her motive,
1455
01:14:44,836 --> 01:14:47,641
her need for her father's love.
1456
01:14:47,642 --> 01:14:50,807
She would gain it by
eliminating his greatest enemy,
1457
01:14:50,808 --> 01:14:51,638
me.
1458
01:14:52,451 --> 01:14:56,578
And tonight, she will commit
her boldest crime yet,
1459
01:14:56,579 --> 01:15:00,104
killing the Queen here!
1460
01:15:00,105 --> 01:15:01,948
The Titanic.
1461
01:15:01,949 --> 01:15:03,951
The marvel of London.
1462
01:15:03,952 --> 01:15:07,959
A new castle, which runs on coal.
1463
01:15:07,960 --> 01:15:10,645
Your Majesty, may I
introduce Lieutenant Morgan.
1464
01:15:10,646 --> 01:15:12,408
Lieutenant.
1465
01:15:12,409 --> 01:15:14,773
First Officer Carter.
1466
01:15:14,774 --> 01:15:17,297
- Your Majesty.
- First Officer.
1467
01:15:17,298 --> 01:15:19,902
Look, Hudson's goons.
1468
01:15:19,903 --> 01:15:23,108
- Create a diversion.
- You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes.
1469
01:15:23,109 --> 01:15:24,350
We'll take care of this lot.
1470
01:15:24,351 --> 01:15:26,154
Come on, you tom tit!
1471
01:15:26,155 --> 01:15:29,680
You ain't bigger than a
couple of powder monkeys.
1472
01:15:29,681 --> 01:15:31,484
Is there a problem, boys?
1473
01:15:31,485 --> 01:15:34,890
Think we can
take them, lads. Aye?
1474
01:15:34,900 --> 01:15:36,253
Walk away now, and I
promise you won't get hurt.
1475
01:15:36,254 --> 01:15:38,898
A bunch of runts and a couple of ladies?
1476
01:15:38,899 --> 01:15:41,959
American ladies.
1477
01:15:45,271 --> 01:15:47,841
Not my eyes!
1478
01:15:51,403 --> 01:15:54,127
I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson.
1479
01:15:54,128 --> 01:15:56,812
I'm gonna crush your head.
1480
01:15:56,813 --> 01:15:59,737
There's gonna be brains everywhere.
1481
01:15:59,738 --> 01:16:02,342
And I'll not be cleaning up after.
1482
01:16:02,343 --> 01:16:03,865
I know you're threatening me,
1483
01:16:03,866 --> 01:16:06,230
but I can't understand
a word you're saying.
1484
01:16:06,231 --> 01:16:08,755
You're staying, Dr. Watson,
1485
01:16:08,756 --> 01:16:12,562
but I'll be on my way to America
by the time the bomb explodes.
1486
01:16:12,563 --> 01:16:14,500
Sherlock will save me.
1487
01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:15,929
You'll see.
I'll see.
1488
01:16:15,930 --> 01:16:17,772
He won't let me down.
1489
01:16:17,773 --> 01:16:21,539
He won't.
He's my best friend!
1490
01:16:21,540 --> 01:16:23,330
Dollface!
1491
01:16:27,511 --> 01:16:29,234
Come on, boys.
1492
01:16:29,235 --> 01:16:32,790
The bomb goes off in 10 minutes.
Sherlock!
1493
01:16:32,800 --> 01:16:33,870
Sherlock!
1494
01:16:34,805 --> 01:16:36,968
Help! Help!
1495
01:16:36,969 --> 01:16:38,759
Sherlock!
1496
01:16:39,254 --> 01:16:40,404
Help!
1497
01:16:42,590 --> 01:16:43,529
Watson!
1498
01:16:45,546 --> 01:16:49,472
Oh, God, if you save me,
I'll never touch myself again.
1499
01:16:49,473 --> 01:16:51,917
Watson!
Oh, Sherlock.
1500
01:16:51,918 --> 01:16:53,680
You've come for me.
I knew you would.
1501
01:16:53,681 --> 01:16:56,500
Watson, good news.
1502
01:16:56,600 --> 01:16:58,209
You're innocent.
1503
01:16:58,210 --> 01:17:00,520
Yes. I know.
1504
01:17:00,530 --> 01:17:02,256
Oh.
Thank you.
1505
01:17:02,257 --> 01:17:04,180
Can you forgive me?
Of course.
1506
01:17:04,181 --> 01:17:06,745
Now, be a good chap, and get
me out of this damn thing
1507
01:17:06,746 --> 01:17:08,588
before it crushes my skull.
1508
01:17:08,589 --> 01:17:10,231
Yes? There's a good chap.
Go on.
1509
01:17:10,232 --> 01:17:12,836
I won't leave you.
Not again.
1510
01:17:12,837 --> 01:17:15,201
That's a lovely sentiment,
but I really need you
1511
01:17:15,202 --> 01:17:17,245
to free me from this gear right now.
1512
01:17:17,246 --> 01:17:19,850
Emotions are spewing from my heart.
1513
01:17:19,851 --> 01:17:21,533
Pull yourself together.
Okay.
1514
01:17:21,534 --> 01:17:23,617
Stop crying.
1515
01:17:23,618 --> 01:17:25,220
Because we must get the Queen
and everyone else off this ship.
1516
01:17:25,221 --> 01:17:27,104
You see, Hudson has planted a bomb.
1517
01:17:27,105 --> 01:17:28,947
A time bomb, you see?
1518
01:17:28,948 --> 01:17:31,111
You must free me.
Do you feel my heart ticking?
1519
01:17:31,112 --> 01:17:33,115
Get me off this fucking wheel!
1520
01:17:33,116 --> 01:17:35,881
All my dreams are coming true.
1521
01:17:35,882 --> 01:17:40,208
In just two minutes, my bomb
will go off, killing the Queen.
1522
01:17:40,209 --> 01:17:42,453
Sherlock Holmes will go down in history
1523
01:17:42,454 --> 01:17:45,979
as the worst detective
the world has ever known.
1524
01:17:45,980 --> 01:17:51,470
And the name Moriarty
will live on forever!
1525
01:17:51,471 --> 01:17:52,941
Father,
1526
01:17:53,235 --> 01:17:55,998
soon, we shall be together again.
1527
01:17:55,999 --> 01:18:00,169
- In America!
- Yeah!
1528
01:18:05,938 --> 01:18:08,703
The bomb will detonate in one minute.
1529
01:18:08,704 --> 01:18:11,829
Where could it possibly be?
1530
01:18:11,830 --> 01:18:12,980
Wait.
1531
01:18:13,232 --> 01:18:15,155
That kettle drum.
1532
01:18:15,156 --> 01:18:18,281
Those are only ever used
in mounted cavalry formations,
1533
01:18:18,282 --> 01:18:20,365
never in a Marine band.
1534
01:18:20,366 --> 01:18:21,687
Perhaps...
1535
01:18:21,688 --> 01:18:24,332
The bomb is in the drum.
Very good, Watson.
1536
01:18:24,333 --> 01:18:26,136
But the Queen is standing
just beside it.
1537
01:18:26,137 --> 01:18:27,618
She'll be blown to smithereens.
1538
01:18:27,619 --> 01:18:30,825
But how to defuse it in time?
1539
01:18:30,826 --> 01:18:34,592
Time remaining until
bomb detonation, 55 seconds.
1540
01:18:34,593 --> 01:18:38,159
Estimated blast radius
from bomb, 17 feet.
1541
01:18:38,160 --> 01:18:41,365
Time required to move queen
to safety, 12 seconds.
1542
01:18:41,366 --> 01:18:43,249
Solution, move through crowd,
1543
01:18:43,250 --> 01:18:46,454
see Millie for the first time,
forget about bomb...
1544
01:18:46,455 --> 01:18:47,285
No.
1545
01:18:51,545 --> 01:18:53,508
Time remaining, 37 seconds.
1546
01:18:53,509 --> 01:18:56,730
Solution, shoot water main
to douse bomb,
1547
01:18:56,740 --> 01:18:58,770
remember Millie at the park,
forget about bomb.
1548
01:18:58,780 --> 01:19:03,647
No, I forgot about the bomb!
1549
01:19:03,648 --> 01:19:06,333
Watson, what are you doing in my brain?
1550
01:19:06,334 --> 01:19:07,775
I'm doing it.
1551
01:19:07,776 --> 01:19:10,380
I'm communicating without words.
1552
01:19:10,381 --> 01:19:13,660
I can't focus. I was
trying to formulate a plan,
1553
01:19:13,670 --> 01:19:15,690
and I kept getting off track.
1554
01:19:15,700 --> 01:19:17,674
Holmes, no, you don't.
Snap out of it.
1555
01:19:17,675 --> 01:19:19,477
I can't. I'm too emotional.
1556
01:19:19,478 --> 01:19:22,123
Look behind me. The Queen's
being blown to bits.
1557
01:19:22,124 --> 01:19:23,805
You have to take control.
1558
01:19:23,806 --> 01:19:26,900
You must be detective for both of us.
1559
01:19:26,100 --> 01:19:27,320
Right.
1560
01:19:28,696 --> 01:19:30,257
I know what I must do.
1561
01:19:30,258 --> 01:19:32,262
Estimated blast radius,
1562
01:19:32,263 --> 01:19:34,145
20... No, 30 feet?
1563
01:19:34,146 --> 01:19:35,588
Account for ship's movement.
1564
01:19:35,589 --> 01:19:37,271
Wait. Is that a four or a seven?
1565
01:19:37,272 --> 01:19:39,155
Math is so hard. Hold on.
1566
01:19:39,156 --> 01:19:41,118
What does that "X" mean?
Or is that a plus?
1567
01:19:41,119 --> 01:19:42,922
What is that thing?
Angle of approach?
1568
01:19:42,923 --> 01:19:44,445
Oh, I don't know how to do angles.
1569
01:19:44,446 --> 01:19:45,607
Should have listened more in school.
1570
01:19:45,608 --> 01:19:49,134
Oh, screw it. Charge!
1571
01:19:49,135 --> 01:19:50,536
Out of my way!
1572
01:19:50,537 --> 01:19:51,687
Move!
1573
01:19:52,221 --> 01:19:54,864
Nine, eight...
1574
01:19:54,865 --> 01:19:56,387
Coming through!
1575
01:19:56,388 --> 01:19:59,193
So sorry!
...seven...
1576
01:19:59,194 --> 01:20:00,635
Come on.
1577
01:20:00,636 --> 01:20:02,380
Move your tuchis!
1578
01:20:02,390 --> 01:20:04,779
Sorry, friend!
1579
01:20:05,450 --> 01:20:06,675
...five,
1580
01:20:06,968 --> 01:20:08,438
four...
1581
01:20:11,160 --> 01:20:12,806
...two...
1582
01:20:17,680 --> 01:20:19,800
Aw, shit!
1583
01:20:24,810 --> 01:20:25,443
Huzzah.
1584
01:20:25,444 --> 01:20:27,527
Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes.
1585
01:20:27,528 --> 01:20:31,940
Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic.
1586
01:20:31,950 --> 01:20:33,337
- Huzzah!
- Hurrah for Sherlock!
1587
01:20:33,338 --> 01:20:35,210
Bravo, Sherlock!
1588
01:20:35,220 --> 01:20:36,584
Sherlock Holmes
was right about everything!
1589
01:20:36,585 --> 01:20:38,708
Hip hip hooray!
1590
01:20:38,709 --> 01:20:41,633
Thank you. Thank you.
1591
01:20:41,634 --> 01:20:44,519
But I could never have
done it without Dr. Watson.
1592
01:20:44,520 --> 01:20:48,927
Oh, no. Let Watson's name
be forever associated
1593
01:20:48,928 --> 01:20:51,172
with the Titanic.
1594
01:20:51,173 --> 01:20:55,139
So, when you think of your friends
and relatives on board the Titanic,
1595
01:20:55,140 --> 01:20:56,782
just remember,
1596
01:20:56,783 --> 01:21:01,471
Dr. John H. Watson put them there.
1597
01:21:01,472 --> 01:21:03,475
Hooray for Watson!
1598
01:21:03,476 --> 01:21:06,801
Bloody good we didn't hang him.
1599
01:21:06,802 --> 01:21:09,620
Dr. Watson,
1600
01:21:09,127 --> 01:21:10,889
you saved us.
1601
01:21:10,890 --> 01:21:12,613
Thank you.
1602
01:21:12,614 --> 01:21:22,634
It has been my pleasure
to serve you, Your Majesty.
1603
01:21:31,609 --> 01:21:33,869
No, Millie.
1604
01:21:43,592 --> 01:21:45,715
I have a confession to make.
1605
01:21:45,716 --> 01:21:48,400
I'm not actually in love with you.
1606
01:21:48,401 --> 01:21:50,645
In order to conclude my investigation,
1607
01:21:50,646 --> 01:21:54,252
it was imperative that I
understood what love felt like.
1608
01:21:54,253 --> 01:21:56,857
I'm sorry to have led you on.
1609
01:21:56,858 --> 01:21:58,539
I have a confession as well.
1610
01:21:58,540 --> 01:22:00,183
I was also not in love.
1611
01:22:00,184 --> 01:22:01,786
I was conducting an experiment
1612
01:22:01,787 --> 01:22:04,631
on how easy it is
to manipulate the male ego.
1613
01:22:04,632 --> 01:22:07,878
What?
I'm sorry I led you on.
1614
01:22:07,879 --> 01:22:10,282
Well, I have another confession.
1615
01:22:10,283 --> 01:22:12,927
Hmm. I was just pretending
to have a big ego
1616
01:22:12,928 --> 01:22:15,732
so as to make you think that
your experiment was working
1617
01:22:15,733 --> 01:22:17,897
so that I could conclude
my experiment on you.
1618
01:22:17,898 --> 01:22:19,820
Well, I had to lead you on
1619
01:22:19,821 --> 01:22:22,305
because I was doing an
experiment about how men think
1620
01:22:22,306 --> 01:22:24,309
they can manipulate female scientists
while they're doing experiments.
1621
01:22:24,310 --> 01:22:31,960
Well, I have another confession to make.
1622
01:22:37,775 --> 01:22:41,581
You will be shocked to learn
that was my first kiss.
1623
01:22:41,582 --> 01:22:44,147
Mine as well, and we've
already mastered it.
1624
01:22:44,148 --> 01:22:45,509
Yes, indeed.
1625
01:22:45,510 --> 01:22:47,352
All aboard!
1626
01:22:47,353 --> 01:22:49,957
She sails in 20 minutes!
1627
01:22:49,958 --> 01:22:51,921
Hurry, everyone!
Step lively!
1628
01:22:51,922 --> 01:22:54,606
Enjoy your trip
on the safest ship to sail.
1629
01:22:54,607 --> 01:22:56,900
Goodbye.
1630
01:22:56,100 --> 01:22:57,532
Farewell, Grace.
1631
01:22:57,533 --> 01:22:58,774
Goodbye, Millie.
1632
01:22:58,775 --> 01:23:01,340
Make sure you get plenty of bed rest.
1633
01:23:01,341 --> 01:23:03,220
There's a good chance you're pregnant.
1634
01:23:03,230 --> 01:23:04,185
I hope so.
1635
01:23:04,186 --> 01:23:07,270
From...
From the kissing?
1636
01:23:07,271 --> 01:23:10,161
Yes.
Oh, yes.
1637
01:23:10,398 --> 01:23:12,790
What a grand ship.
1638
01:23:12,800 --> 01:23:13,700
Yes.
1639
01:23:13,202 --> 01:23:15,782
Watson, look.
1640
01:23:16,128 --> 01:23:18,652
It's Billy Zane.
1641
01:23:18,653 --> 01:23:20,443
Sherlock.
1642
01:23:21,418 --> 01:23:24,543
Wow.
He's breathtaking.
1643
01:23:24,544 --> 01:23:30,594
Where's the bar on this canoe?
1644
01:23:30,956 --> 01:23:32,799
Holmes.
Mmm.
1645
01:23:32,800 --> 01:23:35,124
I believe I may have solved
the one mystery
1646
01:23:35,125 --> 01:23:38,449
which has baffled you all these years.
1647
01:23:38,450 --> 01:23:39,600
What?
1648
01:23:43,380 --> 01:23:46,430
Would you mind?
1649
01:23:46,787 --> 01:23:47,617
Ah.
1650
01:23:48,680 --> 01:23:49,310
Do you like it?
1651
01:23:49,311 --> 01:23:51,795
Let's see here. Huh?
1652
01:23:51,796 --> 01:23:53,838
Oh, it suits you.
Mmm.
1653
01:23:53,839 --> 01:23:56,323
I think it's perfect.
Really?
1654
01:23:56,324 --> 01:23:59,851
You're not just saying that?
No, I'm not just saying it.
1655
01:23:59,852 --> 01:24:02,140
Good.
Thank you, Watson.
1656
01:24:02,150 --> 01:24:03,898
And I have something for you as well.
1657
01:24:03,899 --> 01:24:06,342
No. No.
Please. Step over here.
1658
01:24:06,343 --> 01:24:10,630
Why?
I don't deserve anything.
1659
01:24:10,631 --> 01:24:12,515
My dear Watson.
1660
01:24:12,516 --> 01:24:14,317
What do you think?
1661
01:24:14,318 --> 01:24:17,368
It's beautiful.
1662
01:24:43,575 --> 01:24:48,542
Telegram for Professor Moriarty.
1663
01:24:48,543 --> 01:24:50,493
Professor?
1664
01:24:57,000 --> 01:25:00,840
Boy, who sent this?
110953
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