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1
00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:03,226
This is exciting for me.
I'm a-- I'm a comic.
2
00:00:03,893 --> 00:00:05,685
Great.
Do you have a business card?
3
00:00:05,768 --> 00:00:07,559
-No, I--
-I'm fully kidding.
4
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:09,685
PETE HOLMES: Abraham and Isaac.
5
00:00:09,768 --> 00:00:12,685
Abraham had the knife up
in the air and he heard a voice.
6
00:00:13,017 --> 00:00:14,476
Thank God.
It just would've been--
7
00:00:14,559 --> 00:00:16,434
-(SPUTTERING)
-(CROWD LAUGHS)
8
00:00:16,518 --> 00:00:17,768
You know I have to
fire you, right?
9
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,017
I figured.
10
00:00:19,101 --> 00:00:21,101
I just don't know
if I can grow here.
11
00:00:21,601 --> 00:00:23,351
Why do you think
we shouldn't be together?
12
00:00:23,434 --> 00:00:24,518
I'm in over my head.
13
00:00:24,601 --> 00:00:25,559
That is such a cop-out.
14
00:00:25,768 --> 00:00:27,685
The second you missed
your ex-girlfriend,
15
00:00:27,768 --> 00:00:29,184
you got a little bored with me.
16
00:00:29,267 --> 00:00:32,434
In ten years, you're gonna
regret this so much,
17
00:00:32,643 --> 00:00:35,434
and I'm gonna realize
that I dodged a fucking bullet.
18
00:00:35,976 --> 00:00:38,101
I think you know
you'll die alone.
19
00:00:38,351 --> 00:00:39,976
(WOMEN LAUGH)
20
00:00:46,643 --> 00:00:49,142
♪ ♪
21
00:01:10,851 --> 00:01:13,810
(dildo buzzing)
22
00:01:13,893 --> 00:01:16,309
♪ It's time to move on ♪
23
00:01:17,142 --> 00:01:18,935
♪ Time to get going ♪
24
00:01:19,017 --> 00:01:23,393
♪ What lies ahead,
I have no way of knowing ♪
25
00:01:23,476 --> 00:01:27,017
♪ But under my feet, baby,
grass is growing ♪
26
00:01:27,101 --> 00:01:29,768
♪ It's time to move on ♪
27
00:01:29,851 --> 00:01:32,142
♪ It's time to get going ♪
28
00:01:34,226 --> 00:01:36,851
♪ It's time to move on ♪
29
00:01:36,935 --> 00:01:39,685
♪ It's time to get going ♪
30
00:01:50,393 --> 00:01:53,810
-Can I help you?
-Yeah, I'm here to meet
Kevin Woods.
31
00:01:53,893 --> 00:01:55,685
Right this way.
32
00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:04,351
-Enjoy your meal.
-Thank you.
33
00:02:06,434 --> 00:02:08,226
Good to see you, Peter.
34
00:02:09,851 --> 00:02:11,601
What is this place?
35
00:02:12,059 --> 00:02:14,226
It's my favorite restaurant.
36
00:02:16,476 --> 00:02:18,226
Molto Bene.
37
00:02:20,101 --> 00:02:22,476
What's up?
What's going on?
38
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,726
I heard about
the Christian tour.
39
00:02:25,726 --> 00:02:26,976
Yeah.
40
00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:30,393
I... I don't know.
I thought it was one thing,
41
00:02:30,476 --> 00:02:33,393
and it was very
restrictive.
42
00:02:33,476 --> 00:02:36,393
-It was a lot of money.
-I know.
43
00:02:36,476 --> 00:02:38,518
A lot of dates.
44
00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:39,685
Yeah.
45
00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:41,601
Well, I got some news.
46
00:02:46,559 --> 00:02:48,101
(slurping)
47
00:02:49,685 --> 00:02:51,810
John Mulaney wants you
to open for him.
48
00:02:52,768 --> 00:02:54,643
-Are you fucking with me?
-Nope.
49
00:02:54,726 --> 00:02:56,601
He asked for you by name.
50
00:02:56,685 --> 00:02:58,935
-John Mulaney?
-John Mulaney.
51
00:02:59,017 --> 00:03:00,518
-Asked for me?
-Mm-hmm.
52
00:03:00,601 --> 00:03:01,810
-By name?
-Yep.
53
00:03:01,893 --> 00:03:04,267
How did--
We met one time.
54
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,810
He must've seen me
or something, right?
55
00:03:06,893 --> 00:03:08,810
That's the thing about
this business, Peter.
56
00:03:08,893 --> 00:03:11,351
You never know what's lurking
around the next corner.
57
00:03:11,434 --> 00:03:13,518
Most of the time,
it's a punch in the gut.
58
00:03:13,601 --> 00:03:15,267
Sometimes,
it's a treasure chest.
59
00:03:15,351 --> 00:03:17,685
This is the moment
we've been waiting for.
60
00:03:17,768 --> 00:03:20,309
All that training,
all that grooming.
61
00:03:20,393 --> 00:03:21,726
This is your treasure chest.
62
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:23,768
-That's amazing.
-You've been working
really hard.
63
00:03:23,851 --> 00:03:25,601
-That's amazing.
-You know?
64
00:03:25,685 --> 00:03:28,643
You're ready for this.
This is your moment.
65
00:03:28,726 --> 00:03:30,226
-That's great.
-Mm-hmm.
66
00:03:30,309 --> 00:03:31,685
-You said yes?
-Mm-hmm.
67
00:03:31,768 --> 00:03:33,434
I thought you were just--
68
00:03:33,518 --> 00:03:35,935
I thought you just wanted
to fire me or...
69
00:03:36,017 --> 00:03:37,726
because of... this.
70
00:03:37,810 --> 00:03:39,810
God damn it.
71
00:03:40,935 --> 00:03:42,267
Let's get some cake.
72
00:03:42,351 --> 00:03:45,393
I know. I know!
He just told me.
73
00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:47,976
It was like a whole thing.
He sat me down...
74
00:03:48,059 --> 00:03:50,643
Ali, it's, uh, it's Pete.
75
00:03:50,726 --> 00:03:52,810
Listen, I just found out
I'm doing a show,
76
00:03:52,893 --> 00:03:55,226
Saturday at Town Hall.
77
00:03:55,309 --> 00:03:58,559
John-- That's right,
Kid Gorgeous.
78
00:03:58,643 --> 00:04:00,726
And me, Kid Regular.
79
00:04:00,810 --> 00:04:04,476
Asked for me by name.
80
00:04:04,559 --> 00:04:05,851
You know, we haven't
talked in a while.
81
00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:07,559
I miss you.
I wanna hang out.
82
00:04:07,643 --> 00:04:09,309
So, um, I hope
you can make it.
83
00:04:11,101 --> 00:04:12,476
(phone chimes)
84
00:04:16,559 --> 00:04:17,726
Ali (over voicemail):
Hey, Pete.
85
00:04:17,810 --> 00:04:19,810
I'm so excited for you,
about Mulaney.
86
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,142
That's so awesome!
87
00:04:21,226 --> 00:04:23,768
He never did anything
for me except bump me,
88
00:04:23,851 --> 00:04:25,810
but I'm not bitter
about it. Ha-ha.
89
00:04:25,893 --> 00:04:28,017
I'm really sorry.
I can't make it to your show,
90
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,935
because, um,
Ted and I broke up.
91
00:04:32,017 --> 00:04:36,351
Ugh, he was just so perfect
in all of the wrong ways.
92
00:04:37,351 --> 00:04:39,559
So, uh, yeah...
93
00:04:39,643 --> 00:04:42,434
if you need me,
I'll be on my couch,
94
00:04:42,518 --> 00:04:44,434
watching The Great
British Bake Off ,
95
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,726
contemplating how
I'm gonna die alone.
96
00:04:47,810 --> 00:04:50,267
All right,
have a good show.
97
00:04:50,351 --> 00:04:51,810
Bye.
98
00:04:53,434 --> 00:04:55,059
Bye.
99
00:04:58,726 --> 00:05:00,559
♪ ♪
100
00:05:07,184 --> 00:05:12,351
♪ Till my stone cold grave,
I'll be pushin' on ♪
101
00:05:14,142 --> 00:05:16,518
♪ She'll be pushin' on ♪
102
00:05:16,601 --> 00:05:21,851
♪ Till my blood runs dry,
I'll be riding high ♪
103
00:05:23,434 --> 00:05:25,643
♪ S he'll be riding high ♪
104
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:30,476
♪ When my soles wear through,
I won't be feeling blue ♪
105
00:05:30,559 --> 00:05:33,309
♪ I'll be pushin' on ♪
106
00:05:33,393 --> 00:05:35,768
♪ Pushin' on ♪
107
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:45,643
♪ Yeah! ♪
108
00:05:49,601 --> 00:05:51,267
You did it.
109
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,643
You really did it.
110
00:05:53,726 --> 00:05:55,643
You belong here.
111
00:05:55,726 --> 00:05:57,142
You belong here.
112
00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:59,851
(inhaling)
113
00:05:59,935 --> 00:06:02,267
(exhaling):
You got this.
114
00:06:03,017 --> 00:06:04,518
Look at me.
115
00:06:04,601 --> 00:06:06,643
You're special.
You deserve this.
116
00:06:06,726 --> 00:06:10,059
That's why he asked for you,
because you can do it.
117
00:06:10,142 --> 00:06:12,101
-(knocking)
-Hello?
118
00:06:12,184 --> 00:06:14,643
-Leif: Hey, Peter.
-Peter: Oh my God! Hi!
119
00:06:14,726 --> 00:06:16,267
-Leif: Are we intruding?
-Not at all.
120
00:06:16,351 --> 00:06:18,101
-Congratulations!
-Welcome! Yes.
121
00:06:18,184 --> 00:06:19,976
-Leif: Hi!
-Jess: We're so proud of you!
122
00:06:20,059 --> 00:06:21,559
Oh my God,
I'm so glad you're here!
123
00:06:21,643 --> 00:06:22,893
-These are for you.
-Thank you.
124
00:06:22,976 --> 00:06:25,226
This goes great
with my dressing room mirror.
125
00:06:25,309 --> 00:06:29,351
I'll put them-- No vase.
They're lovely.
126
00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:31,184
Remember, you're
swimming right now.
127
00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:33,226
Enjoy it, Peter.
Don't grab for the water, man.
128
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:36,726
Relax and just float.
This is awesome.
129
00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:38,643
That was strangely coherent.
130
00:06:38,726 --> 00:06:39,768
-Yeah.
-Thanks.
131
00:06:39,851 --> 00:06:41,976
That was--
What's happening today?
132
00:06:42,059 --> 00:06:43,476
I'm in a suit,
I'm in a green room,
133
00:06:43,559 --> 00:06:45,643
he's making sense.
This is magic.
134
00:06:45,726 --> 00:06:47,393
-Really exciting.
-Hey.
135
00:06:47,476 --> 00:06:49,184
-I'm Justin.
I work with John.
-Oh, hi.
136
00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:51,267
When you get a chance,
John wants to say hi.
137
00:06:51,351 --> 00:06:53,267
-Oh!
-Oh, fancy!
138
00:06:53,351 --> 00:06:55,059
-Well, go say hi.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
139
00:06:55,142 --> 00:06:56,559
Enjoy.
There's Jelly Bellys.
140
00:06:56,643 --> 00:06:58,101
-Oh great!
-Ronald Reagan's favorite.
141
00:06:58,184 --> 00:06:59,393
Open that up
if you want.
142
00:06:59,476 --> 00:07:01,935
-Okay.
-I'll be right back.
143
00:07:02,017 --> 00:07:05,184
-Whoa. What do you want?
-Not Jelly Bellys.
144
00:07:08,518 --> 00:07:10,476
I love these old theaters.
145
00:07:10,559 --> 00:07:11,976
Sorry.
146
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:19,267
This is incredible.
I love it.
147
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:20,643
Yeah.
148
00:07:21,935 --> 00:07:24,601
Does it, um...
Does it ever get old or...?
149
00:07:24,685 --> 00:07:25,976
No.
150
00:07:29,017 --> 00:07:31,518
Hey, John.
I've got Pete here for you.
151
00:07:34,685 --> 00:07:36,476
Hi.
152
00:07:36,559 --> 00:07:38,685
Good to see you.
153
00:07:39,810 --> 00:07:41,351
You too.
154
00:07:42,393 --> 00:07:43,976
Who are you?
155
00:07:44,059 --> 00:07:46,976
Pete Holmes.
I'm wearing a suit, maybe.
156
00:07:47,059 --> 00:07:48,851
Remember,
we met a Rafifi.
157
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,643
-Oh.
-Yeah, yeah. On 11th.
158
00:07:50,726 --> 00:07:52,434
Out of sight.
159
00:07:52,518 --> 00:07:53,976
I just, um...
160
00:07:54,059 --> 00:07:56,643
I wanted to come back,
and I don't want to bother you.
161
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,476
I just want to say
it's wonderful to be opening
162
00:07:58,559 --> 00:08:00,059
for somebody of your caliber,
163
00:08:00,142 --> 00:08:03,434
and just a dream
come true, and it's--
164
00:08:03,518 --> 00:08:08,351
It's an honor,
and Town Hall, I mean...
165
00:08:11,017 --> 00:08:13,434
When you say,
"Open for me--"
166
00:08:13,518 --> 00:08:17,643
I just mean emcee, not open.
I'm just the supporting act.
167
00:08:17,726 --> 00:08:21,101
Why are you saying this?
Why are you saying that?
168
00:08:21,184 --> 00:08:23,226
Yeah, whatever term
you want to use.
169
00:08:23,309 --> 00:08:26,267
I'm the "special guest."
I'm your special guest tonight.
170
00:08:26,351 --> 00:08:28,851
-And that's a thrill.
-John: Uh...
171
00:08:28,935 --> 00:08:30,685
-He's your opener, John.
-Yeah, opener.
172
00:08:30,768 --> 00:08:33,685
-Who the fuck's my opener?
-Justin: This is the opener.
173
00:08:33,768 --> 00:08:35,976
This is not what
I asked for.
174
00:08:36,059 --> 00:08:37,851
You asked for Pete Holmes.
This is Pete Holmes.
175
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,309
I could not have
asked for Pete Holmes,
176
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,309
because I do not know
who Pete Holmes is.
177
00:08:41,393 --> 00:08:42,810
I'm Pete Holmes.
Remember we--
178
00:08:42,893 --> 00:08:44,393
I know that now.
179
00:08:44,476 --> 00:08:48,267
I wanted Holmes,
the comedian,
from Chicago.
180
00:08:48,351 --> 00:08:50,017
They got Holmes
from Chicago,
181
00:08:50,101 --> 00:08:51,851
from the Chicago
Comedy Festival.
182
00:08:51,935 --> 00:08:53,935
He was super funny,
we were on the same show,
183
00:08:54,017 --> 00:08:56,685
then we went to Alinea together,
they closed the kitchen,
we ate at the chef's counter.
184
00:08:56,768 --> 00:09:00,267
-I didn't go to Alinea with you.
-I know, we didn't invite you,
but I told you--
185
00:09:00,351 --> 00:09:01,893
The guy, Holmes--
186
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:03,559
-Ben Holmes?
-Yes!
187
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:05,226
-Ben Holmes. Okay.
-Ben Holmes!
188
00:09:05,309 --> 00:09:07,601
-Ben Holmes.
You wanted Ben Holmes.
-Ben Holmes is opening tonight.
189
00:09:07,685 --> 00:09:09,768
-Okay, okay, okay.
-He's opening tonight.
190
00:09:09,851 --> 00:09:11,726
No, he's in Chicago.
191
00:09:11,810 --> 00:09:14,476
Ben Holmes is not here,
and Pete Holmes is here?
192
00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:15,726
Justin:
Yes.
193
00:09:15,810 --> 00:09:18,726
Sounds like there's been
a little bit of confusion.
194
00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:22,393
It's most likely because
we have the same surname.
195
00:09:22,476 --> 00:09:25,559
Oh, do you fucking think,
Agatha Christie?
196
00:09:25,643 --> 00:09:27,434
Justin:
I'm gonna fix this.
We're gonna fix this.
197
00:09:27,518 --> 00:09:29,518
-This is totally fine.
This is totally fine.
-John: Okay.
198
00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:32,726
All right, what does one--
199
00:09:32,810 --> 00:09:35,476
(exhales)
What does one do?
200
00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:37,601
I'm sure you can call somebody
else. There's plenty of time.
201
00:09:37,685 --> 00:09:39,476
We can form a list
and think of comedians,
202
00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:41,393
-other comedians
that could open.
-Okay, we'll make a list.
203
00:09:41,476 --> 00:09:43,059
-A list of
New York City comedians.
-Yes, okay.
204
00:09:43,142 --> 00:09:45,142
A list of comedians
in New York City.
205
00:09:45,226 --> 00:09:47,434
-I've got a note open, yes.
-Do it in this order, okay?
206
00:09:47,518 --> 00:09:49,810
Ron Funches.
He's third, okay?
207
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,559
Jon Stewart-- I know
that sounds like a reach,
208
00:09:51,643 --> 00:09:53,184
but maybe if you
pitch it as like,
209
00:09:53,267 --> 00:09:54,893
"Oh, this would be so crazy
if you showed up," all right?
210
00:09:54,976 --> 00:09:57,434
First, Birbiglia.
He's too big to open for me,
211
00:09:57,518 --> 00:09:59,101
but he's a friend.
He might do it as a favor.
212
00:09:59,184 --> 00:10:01,351
If he says he's not
in New York, he is lying.
213
00:10:02,017 --> 00:10:03,851
♪ ♪
214
00:10:21,059 --> 00:10:23,476
Jesus fucking Christ.
215
00:10:23,976 --> 00:10:25,267
Kevin, it's Pete.
216
00:10:25,351 --> 00:10:28,351
There's a mix-up. They booked
the wrong fucking guy.
217
00:10:28,434 --> 00:10:30,059
I don't know where you are.
I'm at the theater.
218
00:10:30,142 --> 00:10:32,893
You gotta fucking call me.
It's fucked up.
219
00:10:40,142 --> 00:10:42,893
Pete, can I talk to you
for a second?
220
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,893
(sighs)
Shut the-- shut the door.
221
00:10:53,935 --> 00:10:56,101
Have a seat
for a minute.
222
00:10:58,601 --> 00:11:01,768
Uh, I'm really sorry.
223
00:11:01,851 --> 00:11:04,893
Uh, no.
This is a...
224
00:11:04,976 --> 00:11:06,893
This is a big deal.
This is Town Hall,
225
00:11:06,976 --> 00:11:09,559
and I would want my show
to be perfect too.
226
00:11:09,643 --> 00:11:11,518
It was-- Yeah.
It threw me. I...
227
00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:14,976
(laughs)
...acted like a jerk,
and, you know,
228
00:11:15,059 --> 00:11:18,601
as you know and as you'll tell
people, I'm not a jerk.
229
00:11:19,768 --> 00:11:22,017
I don't--
I'm not gonna talk about this.
230
00:11:22,101 --> 00:11:23,351
It's not a bad--
I don't even...
231
00:11:23,434 --> 00:11:26,434
Oh, I'm not telling you
not to talk about it.
232
00:11:26,518 --> 00:11:29,017
-I didn't say that.
-No, but I won't.
233
00:11:29,101 --> 00:11:32,017
Yeah, it's like the story
could be that I'm an asshole,
234
00:11:32,101 --> 00:11:35,059
and, you know,
that's not the story.
235
00:11:36,768 --> 00:11:39,101
You know,
it's Town Hall.
236
00:11:39,184 --> 00:11:41,059
You can't shoot to wound.
237
00:11:41,142 --> 00:11:43,976
-You gotta shoot to kill.
-(phone buzzing)
238
00:11:44,059 --> 00:11:46,184
Oh, it's Birbiglia.
239
00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:47,351
Hey.
240
00:11:47,434 --> 00:11:50,309
♪ ♪
241
00:12:13,142 --> 00:12:14,559
(knocking)
242
00:12:14,643 --> 00:12:15,810
Hey, Pete.
243
00:12:15,893 --> 00:12:17,976
-Oh, hey, man.
-Hey.
244
00:12:18,935 --> 00:12:21,226
We're gonna need you
to clear out of here.
245
00:12:21,309 --> 00:12:23,976
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
Of course. I'm sorry.
-Yeah. Yeah.
246
00:12:24,059 --> 00:12:26,309
Justin:
No, we're sorry.
247
00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:29,768
I didn't touch most of this.
248
00:12:43,976 --> 00:12:46,559
We'll get a new one.
Just, uh, follow me out here.
249
00:12:49,851 --> 00:12:53,184
Should I go? I kind of feel
like I should get out of here.
250
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:55,101
No, stay, stay.
Literally stay.
251
00:12:55,184 --> 00:12:58,101
You're here, just watch
the show, you know?
252
00:12:58,184 --> 00:13:00,351
Okay, is there a seat
in the house, or--?
253
00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:03,601
Well, no. Um,
but you can watch
from backstage.
254
00:13:03,685 --> 00:13:07,059
You'll be a VIP,
our very important guest.
John's very important guest.
255
00:13:07,142 --> 00:13:09,017
Yeah, I'll watch
from wherever, sure.
256
00:13:09,101 --> 00:13:11,643
-John: Fuck!
-I've got to take care of this.
257
00:13:13,101 --> 00:13:16,059
-John, anything?
-Ron Funches is in Denver.
258
00:13:16,142 --> 00:13:18,810
I called Gethard,
and he said he would try
to be here by eight o'clock,
259
00:13:18,893 --> 00:13:20,935
and it's almost eight o'clock,
so I don't think he's gonna
be here.
260
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:23,434
-So Gethard will not be here?
-Gethard will not be here.
261
00:13:23,518 --> 00:13:25,976
Okay. Fuck!
I'm not mad at you.
262
00:13:26,059 --> 00:13:28,184
(breathes deeply)
263
00:13:36,851 --> 00:13:39,017
How many minutes can you do?
264
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:42,685
-I could do 20.
-You'll do 10.
265
00:13:42,768 --> 00:13:44,184
Justin:
So are we doing this?
266
00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:45,726
John:
Yeah.
267
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:50,810
-(audience cheering)
-Aah, fuck, it's happening.
268
00:13:50,893 --> 00:13:51,976
Take that, Justin.
269
00:13:52,059 --> 00:13:53,393
The show is about to happen.
270
00:13:53,476 --> 00:13:55,351
It's not
not going to happen.
271
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:56,893
God, I hate doing
stand-up.
272
00:13:56,976 --> 00:13:59,017
I hate doing stand-up
comedy so much.
273
00:13:59,101 --> 00:14:00,976
I only wanted to be
a comedian my whole life,
274
00:14:01,059 --> 00:14:03,685
and the thing I hate the most
is stand-up comedy.
275
00:14:03,768 --> 00:14:05,059
Hey, are you clean?
276
00:14:05,142 --> 00:14:07,017
Uh, yeah, I'm--
I'm a clean--
277
00:14:07,101 --> 00:14:08,851
No, you gotta be dirty.
278
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,351
That way my parents
will hate you,
279
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:12,351
and when I walk out
I seem clean.
280
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:16,476
I'm not a clean comic.
People think I am, but I say
"dick" and "ass" and "cocaine"
281
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,226
-and all this stuff.
-Okay, I'll be dirty.
282
00:14:18,309 --> 00:14:19,518
-Yeah, be dirty.
-A little dirty.
283
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:21,309
Also, don't mention marriage.
284
00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:22,518
Don't mention adolescence.
285
00:14:22,601 --> 00:14:24,601
A lot of it is
about adolescence.
286
00:14:24,685 --> 00:14:27,518
Well, then you don't do that,
you do something else.
287
00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:31,184
Or you just say, "Welcome,
I'm the venue owner,"
288
00:14:31,267 --> 00:14:32,976
and then you walk off.
289
00:14:34,434 --> 00:14:37,184
-All right.
-Look...
290
00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:39,393
don't be bad.
291
00:14:39,476 --> 00:14:44,059
Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Ben Holmes!
292
00:14:44,142 --> 00:14:49,309
(audience cheering, applauding)
293
00:15:05,810 --> 00:15:07,976
-(Pete sighs)
-John (whispers): Speak!
294
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,685
(whispering):
Speak!
295
00:15:15,309 --> 00:15:16,518
(sighs)
296
00:15:16,601 --> 00:15:18,643
(audience murmurs)
297
00:15:21,351 --> 00:15:24,059
Um, sorry.
298
00:15:24,142 --> 00:15:25,935
It's actually, it's Pete.
299
00:15:26,017 --> 00:15:29,017
-(laughter)
-Yeah.
300
00:15:29,101 --> 00:15:31,351
My name is, um...
301
00:15:31,434 --> 00:15:33,601
Pete Holmes.
302
00:15:33,685 --> 00:15:35,685
-It's okay.
-(scattered laughter)
303
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,893
There was a...
There was a mix-up.
304
00:15:37,976 --> 00:15:40,267
I'm not Ben Holmes,
I'm Pete Holmes.
305
00:15:40,351 --> 00:15:43,226
-I mean, there was
a whole thing.
-(scattered laughter)
306
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:47,101
It turns out John Mulaney,
who we're all here to see,
307
00:15:47,184 --> 00:15:50,101
um, wanted Ben Holmes,
308
00:15:50,184 --> 00:15:53,601
but they got in touch
with my manager and
they got Pete Holmes,
309
00:15:53,685 --> 00:15:57,142
and then I got here
and John was--
310
00:15:57,226 --> 00:15:59,351
(laughing):
He was not cool about it.
311
00:15:59,434 --> 00:16:05,226
-(laughter)
-I'm not... I'm not saying
he's a dick. He's not a dick.
312
00:16:05,309 --> 00:16:09,851
I'm saying we all have moments
where we slip into dick.
313
00:16:10,810 --> 00:16:12,309
-And he...
-(cheering)
314
00:16:12,393 --> 00:16:16,393
He slipped into dick.
I know!
315
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:20,476
What a nightmare for me,
because he was upset.
316
00:16:20,559 --> 00:16:23,267
He had this important show.
I get it, I get it, I get it.
317
00:16:23,351 --> 00:16:24,893
I get it.
I really get it.
318
00:16:24,976 --> 00:16:30,559
But he was calling other
comedians in front of me.
319
00:16:30,643 --> 00:16:33,351
-Sorry I'm late, man.
-Is that Chris Gethard?
320
00:16:33,434 --> 00:16:35,393
-Yeah, it's me.
-Where the fuck were you?
321
00:16:35,476 --> 00:16:38,726
I was having, you know,
dinner with my wife.
322
00:16:38,810 --> 00:16:40,518
And that's, hopefully,
why you're dressed like that.
323
00:16:40,601 --> 00:16:42,976
And they're calling like,
"Mike Birbiglia, we need you!"
324
00:16:43,059 --> 00:16:45,351
-And I'm like...
-(laughter)
325
00:16:45,434 --> 00:16:46,851
But I don't understand.
326
00:16:46,935 --> 00:16:51,685
My job is to just not be
as good as the headliner.
327
00:16:51,768 --> 00:16:54,851
-(laughter)
-Brother, if you're looking
328
00:16:54,935 --> 00:16:57,893
for someone to be not as good
as John Mulaney,
329
00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,518
-I'm your first call.
-(laughter and applause)
330
00:17:00,601 --> 00:17:05,851
I am mediocre and forgettable
together, like two great tastes.
331
00:17:05,935 --> 00:17:07,935
(applause continues)
332
00:17:08,017 --> 00:17:10,142
-Hey, Greer.
-Hey. Am I too late?
333
00:17:10,226 --> 00:17:13,059
Uh, no, the show
hasn't started yet.
334
00:17:13,142 --> 00:17:14,726
Yes, you're too late.
335
00:17:15,851 --> 00:17:18,643
I'm basically an open mic-er
who does some road work,
336
00:17:18,726 --> 00:17:21,267
and my manager was like,
"John Mulaney asked for you
by name."
337
00:17:21,351 --> 00:17:23,309
And I was like,
"That checks out."
338
00:17:23,393 --> 00:17:25,226
(laughter)
339
00:17:25,309 --> 00:17:27,351
He doesn't even know me!
340
00:17:27,434 --> 00:17:29,976
He doesn't know me.
We met once,
341
00:17:30,059 --> 00:17:31,685
and, you know, he was
kind of a dick then too.
342
00:17:31,768 --> 00:17:33,309
He was dick then.
343
00:17:33,393 --> 00:17:34,976
You are a dick.
344
00:17:35,059 --> 00:17:37,559
I know, but people
don't know that.
345
00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:40,643
-Town Hall, thank you so much.
-(cheers and applause)
346
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,810
What a dream come true.
Thank you, Mulaney.
347
00:17:43,893 --> 00:17:45,893
Are you guys ready
for your headliner?
348
00:17:45,976 --> 00:17:48,309
(cheers and applause)
349
00:17:48,393 --> 00:17:51,601
I am, too. This is obviously
the person we all came to see.
350
00:17:51,685 --> 00:17:54,810
You know him, you love him.
Town Hall, give a big welcome
351
00:17:54,893 --> 00:17:57,267
to John Mulaney!
352
00:17:57,351 --> 00:18:00,267
(cheering, applauding)
353
00:18:01,476 --> 00:18:04,685
-You're not bad.
-Really? I thought--
354
00:18:04,768 --> 00:18:07,601
-I have to go do it.
Thank you.
-Right.
355
00:18:07,685 --> 00:18:10,434
Pete Holmes,
ladies and gentlemen.
356
00:18:10,518 --> 00:18:12,184
(cheers and applause)
357
00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:14,142
-Good show, dude.
-Thanks, man.
358
00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:16,226
-I love your stuff.
-Thanks.
359
00:18:16,309 --> 00:18:18,267
-Not bad, man.
Not bad at all.
-Thank you, Greer.
360
00:18:18,351 --> 00:18:19,726
Hello, I'm John Mulaney.
361
00:18:19,810 --> 00:18:22,017
You may know me
from some of Pete's stories
362
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,393
-from five seconds ago.
-(laughter)
363
00:18:24,476 --> 00:18:27,851
John:
I got to admit, Pete Holmes
was kind of right about me.
364
00:18:27,935 --> 00:18:30,559
I was a dick to him
this evening,
365
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,101
and I do apologize.
366
00:18:32,184 --> 00:18:36,017
I'm embarrassed that you have
seen the darker side of me.
367
00:18:36,101 --> 00:18:40,685
But in terms of dark sides
of male comedians coming
to light this year,
368
00:18:40,768 --> 00:18:42,476
I think that's
a pretty tame one.
369
00:18:42,559 --> 00:18:46,017
-(laughter and applause)
-But...
370
00:18:49,059 --> 00:18:51,476
I want to be a good,
nice person.
371
00:18:51,559 --> 00:18:54,976
I was raised Catholic, I was
raised to be kind to everyone.
372
00:18:55,059 --> 00:18:56,976
You know, Catholicism is
all about kindness
373
00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:59,643
until you go digging into it,
and then it's not at all.
374
00:18:59,726 --> 00:19:01,101
(laughter)
375
00:19:01,184 --> 00:19:04,059
There's a new pope,
and people like him a lot.
376
00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:05,976
Pope Francis,
people think he's cool.
377
00:19:06,059 --> 00:19:08,476
-(cheers and applause)
-Like, look at all of you.
378
00:19:08,559 --> 00:19:09,851
You're clapping for him,
379
00:19:09,935 --> 00:19:11,851
and he's against abortion
and all of your rights,
380
00:19:11,935 --> 00:19:13,601
-but you like him.
-(laughter)
381
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:17,476
The pope is popular,
'cause he acts like
a sophomore in college
382
00:19:17,559 --> 00:19:20,476
who just took mushrooms
for the first time.
383
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:24,142
He'll be like,
"Maybe God is just an energy,
384
00:19:24,226 --> 00:19:26,476
not some man with a son."
385
00:19:26,559 --> 00:19:30,935
And everyone's like,
"Whoa, Catholicism's cool!"
386
00:19:31,017 --> 00:19:32,726
-It's not!
-(laughter)
387
00:19:32,810 --> 00:19:36,351
This is a trick to lure
you Jews and atheists
388
00:19:36,434 --> 00:19:38,810
into our weird Italian religion.
389
00:19:38,893 --> 00:19:40,309
(laughter)
390
00:19:40,393 --> 00:19:44,309
Here's how you'll know
if the pope ever really
shakes things up.
391
00:19:44,393 --> 00:19:46,434
He'll die.
392
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:50,142
If the pope was ever like,
"Hey, I just realized
that we could cure world hunger
393
00:19:50,226 --> 00:19:52,601
if we sold some
of these gold cathedrals."
394
00:19:52,685 --> 00:19:57,267
The next day they'd be like,
"Oh, no! The pope died!
395
00:19:57,351 --> 00:20:01,351
Yeah, he had a heart attack.
He fell down the stairs."
396
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:04,476
"I'm sorry. He had
a heart attack or
he fell down the stairs?"
397
00:20:04,559 --> 00:20:06,059
"I know!"
398
00:20:06,142 --> 00:20:07,851
(laughter and applause)
399
00:20:07,935 --> 00:20:11,142
(cheering)
400
00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:15,017
-Hey! Oh my God!
-Amazing!
401
00:20:15,101 --> 00:20:16,518
I'm so glad you saw that.
402
00:20:16,601 --> 00:20:19,184
Oh my goodness,
that looked so
cathartic for you.
403
00:20:19,267 --> 00:20:23,559
Yes, it was.
It was... tense,
fucking crazy,
404
00:20:23,643 --> 00:20:25,893
but out there,
I mean, it was all--
it was worth it.
405
00:20:25,976 --> 00:20:29,309
You took all that weird anger
you have inside yourself,
406
00:20:29,393 --> 00:20:31,768
and then you totally
transformed it,
407
00:20:31,851 --> 00:20:34,601
and you gave it these folks
and you just made them laugh
408
00:20:34,685 --> 00:20:36,726
and turned it
into positivity, Peter!
409
00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:38,393
Jess:
Yeah, it was great.
410
00:20:38,476 --> 00:20:40,810
Pete:
Um, John, sorry.
Would you mind?
411
00:20:40,893 --> 00:20:42,810
These are my, uh,
these are my guests.
412
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:44,309
-This is Jess.
-Hello.
413
00:20:44,393 --> 00:20:45,935
-And this is Leif.
-Hi.
414
00:20:46,017 --> 00:20:48,142
-And this is John Mulaney.
-I'm John Mulaney.
Nice to meet you.
415
00:20:48,226 --> 00:20:49,851
-Hi. John Mulaney.
-Uh, this is Greer Barnes.
416
00:20:49,935 --> 00:20:51,059
-"Leif," you said?
-Yeah.
417
00:20:51,142 --> 00:20:53,351
-Greer. Nice to meet you.
-How are you?
418
00:20:53,434 --> 00:20:56,518
You were so funny.
I couldn't breathe.
419
00:20:56,601 --> 00:20:58,935
-Thank you.
-Y'all brothers and sisters?
420
00:20:59,017 --> 00:21:02,267
Lot of people think that,
but no, we are lovers.
421
00:21:02,351 --> 00:21:03,768
-What are you doing?
-Nothing.
422
00:21:03,851 --> 00:21:05,309
She said
she liked comedy,
so I wanted to see
423
00:21:05,393 --> 00:21:07,393
if she wanted to come
to the late show.
424
00:21:07,476 --> 00:21:10,393
-Oh, there's another show?
-I think it's a euphemism.
425
00:21:10,476 --> 00:21:12,351
-Oh, okay.
-Okay, we gotta go.
426
00:21:12,434 --> 00:21:13,893
-You gotta go.
Thank you.
-Okay.
427
00:21:13,976 --> 00:21:16,267
I'm being pulled away now.
428
00:21:16,351 --> 00:21:17,685
You guys were great.
429
00:21:17,768 --> 00:21:21,351
I really liked this.
This was really fun, thank you.
430
00:21:21,434 --> 00:21:23,142
-I really liked it. Okay.
-Jess: Okay.
431
00:21:23,226 --> 00:21:25,434
Bye, guys.
Thank you for coming.
Hey, John.
432
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:29,017
Um, I just feel like
I should apologize for
some of the things I said.
433
00:21:29,101 --> 00:21:32,267
-I wanna make
sure it was okay.
-Pete, you were funny.
434
00:21:32,351 --> 00:21:34,601
You made the show better.
Okay? Relax.
435
00:21:34,685 --> 00:21:36,351
What are you doing
right now?
436
00:21:36,434 --> 00:21:39,351
-Nothing, I mean this is it.
-You want to come
to The Cellar with us?
437
00:21:39,434 --> 00:21:40,685
-Greer: Come on.
-Yeah.
438
00:21:40,768 --> 00:21:42,976
We gotta unwind
after the show.
439
00:21:43,059 --> 00:21:44,810
Yeah. I mean. Really?
You don't mind?
440
00:21:44,893 --> 00:21:47,559
I've already invited you!
Say, "Yes."
441
00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:50,393
Yeah.
442
00:21:51,559 --> 00:21:54,184
♪ ♪
443
00:22:01,101 --> 00:22:02,518
John:
What's up, man?
444
00:22:03,559 --> 00:22:04,976
♪ ♪
445
00:22:05,059 --> 00:22:06,643
-Pete Holmes.
-How are you?
446
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,685
-Lookin' good, brother.
-Thanks, dude.
447
00:22:10,142 --> 00:22:13,309
Hold on, I can't sit back there
'cause I don't play here.
448
00:22:13,393 --> 00:22:15,434
It's not gonna be a problem.
I'll talk to Estee.
449
00:22:16,101 --> 00:22:17,559
Hey, Estee.
450
00:22:17,643 --> 00:22:19,184
-Oh, hi!
-Hi!
451
00:22:19,267 --> 00:22:21,017
-How are you, John?
-How are you?
452
00:22:21,101 --> 00:22:24,017
It's so good to see you.
Wonderful.
453
00:22:24,101 --> 00:22:25,351
Wonderful to see you.
454
00:22:25,434 --> 00:22:28,935
-What's happening?
-Uh, I did Town Hall tonight.
455
00:22:29,017 --> 00:22:30,726
Oh, I heard.
How was it?
456
00:22:30,810 --> 00:22:32,184
It was amazing.
457
00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:34,184
-Really?
-It was really, really cool.
458
00:22:34,267 --> 00:22:37,851
When I was standing
on stage, I thought,
it is all thanks to Estee.
459
00:22:37,935 --> 00:22:40,351
Well, I'm glad
I gave you first shot,
460
00:22:40,434 --> 00:22:42,935
but your talent took you
to where you are.
461
00:22:43,017 --> 00:22:46,142
I know I have talent.
But, no, really you gave me
the opportunity.
462
00:22:46,226 --> 00:22:47,935
Listen to the guy.
Okay.
463
00:22:48,017 --> 00:22:52,059
Speaking of, someone
opened for me tonight,
a guy I'd never seen before.
464
00:22:52,142 --> 00:22:55,810
Uh, he was hilarious.
Do you know Pete Holmes?
465
00:22:57,351 --> 00:22:59,184
This guy hovering,
right here?
466
00:22:59,267 --> 00:23:01,309
I'm sorry, I just--
We came in together.
467
00:23:01,393 --> 00:23:03,393
I know I'm not supposed
to sit there, but--
468
00:23:03,476 --> 00:23:05,559
Look, I didn't like him either
when I first met him,
469
00:23:05,643 --> 00:23:07,351
and I was pretty rude to him.
470
00:23:07,434 --> 00:23:10,226
And then he got on stage,
and he killed.
471
00:23:10,309 --> 00:23:12,601
And I feel like
I owe him something.
472
00:23:12,685 --> 00:23:15,726
And if you could give him
a spot, that would be amazing.
473
00:23:15,810 --> 00:23:18,351
Honestly, I just--
We're just hanging out.
474
00:23:18,434 --> 00:23:20,101
I didn't-- I didn't
ask him to do this.
475
00:23:20,184 --> 00:23:21,518
I-- I'm happy...
476
00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:24,976
All right, he can go on next.
Only because you asked.
477
00:23:25,476 --> 00:23:27,851
-Thank you, Estee.
-You're welcome.
478
00:23:32,476 --> 00:23:34,142
-Thank you.
-John: You're welcome.
479
00:23:34,226 --> 00:23:36,643
I... thank both of you.
480
00:23:37,393 --> 00:23:40,768
-I gotta work on my set.
-(others shouting)
481
00:23:40,851 --> 00:23:42,559
-I'm performing!
-You gotta earn that.
482
00:23:42,643 --> 00:23:44,810
-She said I'm going up!
-Sit over there!
483
00:23:44,893 --> 00:23:47,685
-The longer you sit here,
the worse it gets. Come on.
-Pete: Thank you. Thank you.
484
00:23:47,768 --> 00:23:50,309
-Go work on it alone.
-Take care of yourself.
485
00:23:50,393 --> 00:23:52,685
-You have to do this alone.
-Honestly...
486
00:23:52,768 --> 00:23:56,142
You know, honestly,
be careful, because
she hates him.
487
00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:59,851
I vouched for him once,
and now she won't let
me vouch for anybody.
488
00:23:59,935 --> 00:24:02,810
Oh my God, and most
people trust you.
489
00:24:02,893 --> 00:24:04,893
♪ ♪
490
00:24:04,976 --> 00:24:07,393
-(laughter, applause)
-Mike Yard: I know,
it's hilarious.
491
00:24:07,476 --> 00:24:09,893
-Are you guys ready
for some more?
-(cheering)
492
00:24:09,976 --> 00:24:12,267
This next brother
coming to the stage,
you are gonna love him.
493
00:24:12,351 --> 00:24:14,810
Very funny. Give it up
for the one and only
Pete Holmes, y'all.
494
00:24:14,893 --> 00:24:17,643
Clap it up
for Pete Holmes, y'all!
495
00:24:17,726 --> 00:24:19,476
Come on,
show your love!
496
00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:21,309
(cheers and applause)
497
00:24:21,393 --> 00:24:23,685
Show your love
for that brother.
498
00:24:25,601 --> 00:24:28,309
Keep it going for Mike Yard,
everybody. That's Mike Yard.
499
00:24:28,393 --> 00:24:30,893
(cheers, applause)
500
00:24:34,393 --> 00:24:37,142
It's weird, uh,
it's weird to be here.
501
00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:40,059
"It's great to be here,"
is what I'm supposed to say,
502
00:24:40,142 --> 00:24:42,643
but it's weird because
the last time I was here,
503
00:24:42,726 --> 00:24:44,768
I broke up with my girlfriend.
504
00:24:44,851 --> 00:24:46,017
Woman:
Aw!
505
00:24:46,101 --> 00:24:48,309
-Wow, good for you.
-(laughter)
506
00:24:48,393 --> 00:24:50,559
You're not sociopaths.
That's very healthy.
507
00:24:51,601 --> 00:24:53,976
I'll tell you,
the main difference
between being single
508
00:24:54,059 --> 00:24:55,976
and having a girlfriend,
for me, in the city,
509
00:24:56,059 --> 00:24:58,309
-is missing the train.
-(laughter)
510
00:24:58,393 --> 00:25:00,309
When I'm single--
listen to me now.
511
00:25:00,393 --> 00:25:02,309
When I'm single,
I don't miss it.
512
00:25:02,393 --> 00:25:03,851
I make it.
Just a free man,
513
00:25:03,935 --> 00:25:06,976
just one free man with agency
and free will, I make it.
514
00:25:07,059 --> 00:25:09,935
I hear it through the grate,
and I assess its direction
515
00:25:10,017 --> 00:25:12,351
like a herd of buffalo
that I'm stalking.
516
00:25:12,434 --> 00:25:15,351
I'm right on the stairs.
I tear my shirt open
a little bit
517
00:25:15,434 --> 00:25:18,976
just to feel more like a man...
(roars)... and I make it.
518
00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:20,685
-Two at a time on the stairs.
-(laughter)
519
00:25:20,768 --> 00:25:23,976
That's a leap. I'm leaping...
I'm leaping down the stairs.
520
00:25:24,059 --> 00:25:28,142
I get my metro card out strong,
I'm swiping in down the stairs.
521
00:25:28,226 --> 00:25:30,017
Before the doors close,
I have time to get my hat
522
00:25:30,101 --> 00:25:31,685
that I dropped
like Indiana Jones,
523
00:25:31,768 --> 00:25:35,017
put it on, light a cigarette,
kiss a woman I don't know.
524
00:25:35,101 --> 00:25:37,017
I make it!
525
00:25:37,101 --> 00:25:39,726
But when I had a girlfriend,
I never made it.
I never made it.
526
00:25:39,810 --> 00:25:43,559
I'm already swiped through,
'cause I get my metro card
out on the stairs.
527
00:25:43,643 --> 00:25:45,601
She gets to the thing--
to the turnstyle,
528
00:25:45,685 --> 00:25:49,518
she's opening her bag
to retrieve another bag.
529
00:25:49,601 --> 00:25:51,101
(laughter)
530
00:25:51,184 --> 00:25:55,893
She's got a bag within a bag,
Russian-doll system of baggery.
531
00:25:55,976 --> 00:25:58,309
She's got all these
dead metro cards.
532
00:25:58,393 --> 00:26:00,393
Why does she keep
the dead metro cards?
533
00:26:00,476 --> 00:26:03,726
-Are you scrapbooking?
-(laughter)
534
00:26:03,810 --> 00:26:05,935
(indistinct chattering)
535
00:26:10,685 --> 00:26:13,184
Sit. Please.
536
00:26:16,601 --> 00:26:18,226
So...
537
00:26:18,309 --> 00:26:21,851
the show downstairs
was... good.
538
00:26:23,976 --> 00:26:25,393
You can call in for spots.
539
00:26:25,476 --> 00:26:27,059
-Keith: Holy shit!
-Really?
540
00:26:27,142 --> 00:26:28,851
-Rachel: Pete!
-Keith: Yeah, look at that.
541
00:26:28,935 --> 00:26:32,434
Congrats, I suppose.
But, Estee, are you
sure about this?
542
00:26:32,518 --> 00:26:34,685
-Come on, man. What the hell
are you talking about?
-Come on, Dan.
543
00:26:34,768 --> 00:26:37,059
The question is,
is Pete ready to be here?
544
00:26:37,142 --> 00:26:38,643
-That's the question.
-Keith: He's here!
545
00:26:38,726 --> 00:26:40,976
Are you suggesting
I should get rid of somebody?
546
00:26:41,059 --> 00:26:42,768
-You get rid of Dan.
-Yeah.
547
00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:44,601
You can't get rid of me.
I've been here for 10 years.
548
00:26:44,685 --> 00:26:46,434
-Yes, you can.
-I think, at least,
549
00:26:46,518 --> 00:26:48,393
-he should reaudition.
-Give this up to Pete.
550
00:26:48,476 --> 00:26:51,685
-Reaudition him.
-I reaudition every night
when I'm killing down there.
551
00:26:51,768 --> 00:26:53,267
-Thank you.
-Congratulations.
552
00:26:53,351 --> 00:26:54,601
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
553
00:26:54,685 --> 00:26:56,351
Keith:
No, you don't.
554
00:26:57,685 --> 00:26:59,142
John:
What do you guys wanna do?
Wanna go eat?
555
00:26:59,226 --> 00:27:01,601
-Dan: Yeah, why not.
-Greer: Yeah, I could eat.
556
00:27:01,685 --> 00:27:03,685
Pete, you wanna
come eat with us?
557
00:27:05,935 --> 00:27:07,559
I'm sorry, I can't. I...
558
00:27:08,685 --> 00:27:10,518
I gotta go.
Thank you.
559
00:27:10,601 --> 00:27:11,935
John:
You're welcome.
560
00:27:12,017 --> 00:27:13,976
He's an odd duck.
561
00:27:14,059 --> 00:27:15,393
I was just trying to be polite.
562
00:27:15,476 --> 00:27:17,476
Dan:
To be honest,
I think we're better off.
563
00:27:17,559 --> 00:27:20,017
♪ ♪
564
00:27:34,267 --> 00:27:39,393
♪ ♪
565
00:27:41,017 --> 00:27:45,059
♪ Every inch of sky's
got a star ♪
566
00:27:45,142 --> 00:27:49,101
♪ Every inch of skin's
got a scar ♪
567
00:27:49,184 --> 00:27:53,351
♪ I guess that you've
got everything now ♪
568
00:27:53,434 --> 00:27:57,351
♪ Every inch of space
in your head ♪
569
00:27:57,434 --> 00:28:01,559
♪ Is filled up with
the things that you read ♪
570
00:28:01,643 --> 00:28:05,976
♪ I guess that you've
got everything now ♪
571
00:28:06,059 --> 00:28:10,017
♪ And every film
that you've ever seen ♪
572
00:28:10,101 --> 00:28:13,226
♪ Fills the spaces up
in your dreams ♪
573
00:28:13,851 --> 00:28:15,351
♪ That reminds me ♪
574
00:28:15,434 --> 00:28:18,685
♪ Everything now,
everything now ♪
575
00:28:18,768 --> 00:28:22,351
♪ Every inch of road's
got a sign ♪
576
00:28:22,434 --> 00:28:25,976
♪ And every boy uses
the same line ♪
577
00:28:26,059 --> 00:28:30,643
♪ I pledge allegiance
to everything now ♪
578
00:28:30,726 --> 00:28:34,518
♪ And every song
that I've ever heard ♪
579
00:28:34,601 --> 00:28:38,434
♪ Is playing at the same time,
it's absurd ♪
580
00:28:38,518 --> 00:28:42,893
♪ And it reminds me,
we've everything now ♪
581
00:28:42,976 --> 00:28:47,059
♪ We turn the speakers up
till they break ♪
582
00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:50,810
♪ 'Cause every time
you smile it's a fake! ♪
583
00:28:50,893 --> 00:28:53,601
-♪ Stop pretending, you've got ♪
- ♪ Everything now ♪
584
00:28:53,685 --> 00:28:55,726
-♪ I need it ♪
- ♪ Everything now! ♪
585
00:28:55,810 --> 00:28:57,726
-♪ I want it ♪
- ♪ Everything now! ♪
586
00:28:57,810 --> 00:28:59,601
-♪ I can't live without ♪
-♪ Everything now! ♪
587
00:28:59,685 --> 00:29:02,601
-♪ I can't live without ♪
-♪ Everything now! ♪
588
00:29:02,685 --> 00:29:04,935
-♪ Everything now! ♪
-♪ Everything now! ♪
589
00:29:07,267 --> 00:29:09,142
♪ ♪
42714
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