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1
00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:09,370
... Synced and corrected by ChrisKe ...
... www.addic7ed.com ...
2
00:00:20,617 --> 00:00:21,742
All right!
3
00:00:21,767 --> 00:00:23,097
It's Friday.
4
00:00:23,122 --> 00:00:24,853
When you think about it,
today is the week's butt.
5
00:00:24,886 --> 00:00:26,676
And Dad has a weak butt.
6
00:00:26,719 --> 00:00:28,929
Dad? Talking about your butt? No?
7
00:00:28,955 --> 00:00:31,265
Dad, please pay attention
when we're sassing you.
8
00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:32,520
Oh. Uh, thank you.
9
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,706
Okay, kids. Better get to school.
10
00:00:35,048 --> 00:00:36,346
Bob, hello?
11
00:00:36,376 --> 00:00:37,692
Aren't you gonna say bye to the kids?
12
00:00:37,716 --> 00:00:39,126
Oh, right. Uh, bye.
13
00:00:39,176 --> 00:00:40,586
Uh, thanks for coming in.
14
00:00:40,636 --> 00:00:42,506
- He said lovingly.
- Bob.
15
00:00:42,556 --> 00:00:43,726
- Hmm?
- Are you okay?
16
00:00:43,756 --> 00:00:45,346
You just told the kids goodbye
17
00:00:45,426 --> 00:00:46,992
like they were customers
leaving the restaurant.
18
00:00:47,016 --> 00:00:48,476
Huh. I must be a little tired.
19
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,016
Well, drink some more coffee, mister.
20
00:00:50,056 --> 00:00:51,606
I've already had three cups.
21
00:00:51,646 --> 00:00:54,016
My heart is going like a
little hummingbird. I like it.
22
00:00:54,066 --> 00:00:55,776
It's like a little
drum circle in my chest.
23
00:00:55,816 --> 00:00:56,936
Bum! Ba-bum-bum-bum.
24
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,540
Ba-bum-bum-bum. Ba-bum-bum-bum.
25
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,316
So, turns out,
26
00:01:00,356 --> 00:01:02,696
it's not shingles. I just
have gross skin on my back.
27
00:01:02,736 --> 00:01:04,696
- Hmm.
- That's great, Teddy.
28
00:01:04,736 --> 00:01:06,703
Hey, hey, Bob, can you top me off?
29
00:01:06,728 --> 00:01:08,196
Bob. Bob!
30
00:01:08,246 --> 00:01:09,786
You're pouring ketchup in my coffee.
31
00:01:09,826 --> 00:01:11,116
Oh, my God. Oh, sorry.
32
00:01:11,166 --> 00:01:13,536
Geez. I mean, it might taste good.
33
00:01:13,586 --> 00:01:15,996
No, that's... Ugh, that is gross.
34
00:01:17,796 --> 00:01:19,256
Wait, let me try it again.
35
00:01:19,672 --> 00:01:20,796
Ugh. No.
36
00:01:20,836 --> 00:01:22,796
Eh. Why'd I do that? Ugh.
37
00:01:22,846 --> 00:01:24,106
Unless...
38
00:01:24,136 --> 00:01:27,096
- No. No. No, no, no.
- Teddy, stop.
39
00:01:27,136 --> 00:01:28,806
What's going on with you today, Bob?
40
00:01:28,846 --> 00:01:29,992
You're totally out of it.
41
00:01:30,017 --> 00:01:32,096
I-I'm fine.
It-It's just, um...
42
00:01:32,146 --> 00:01:34,396
What, uh, what was
everyone talking about?
43
00:01:34,436 --> 00:01:36,106
- Teddy's nasty back skin.
- Oh.
44
00:01:36,161 --> 00:01:39,001
I think I'll go back
in the kitchen. Bye-bye.
45
00:01:39,026 --> 00:01:41,276
- What's his deal?
- I don't know. He's...
46
00:01:41,316 --> 00:01:42,856
Oh, no!
47
00:01:42,906 --> 00:01:44,656
-What?
-He might be getting his burnout.
48
00:01:44,696 --> 00:01:46,076
- Remember?
- Oh, no.
49
00:01:46,116 --> 00:01:48,656
Not the burnout. The
last one was so weird.
50
00:01:48,696 --> 00:01:50,156
It's fine. It's fine.
51
00:01:50,206 --> 00:01:51,916
It's fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
52
00:01:51,956 --> 00:01:53,036
Hey, Bob.
53
00:01:53,076 --> 00:01:54,562
Hi, Leslie!
54
00:01:54,586 --> 00:01:56,522
Now that I think about
it, he hasn't had a day off
55
00:01:56,546 --> 00:01:58,056
- since Easter.
- Have you?
56
00:01:58,086 --> 00:01:59,416
Yeah, yeah, I sneak 'em in.
57
00:01:59,466 --> 00:02:01,096
Last weekend I took Gene to the mall
58
00:02:01,126 --> 00:02:02,546
to visit an outfit he likes.
59
00:02:02,571 --> 00:02:04,281
Sheesh. I'm worried, Linda. I'm worried.
60
00:02:04,306 --> 00:02:05,936
Okay, okay, don't panic.
61
00:02:05,961 --> 00:02:08,120
I'll keep an eye on him
today, see how it goes.
62
00:02:18,303 --> 00:02:19,563
Perfect.
63
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,211
Hi. How was school?
64
00:02:22,236 --> 00:02:25,776
We had a spelling test,
and I think I did B-A-D-D.
65
00:02:25,841 --> 00:02:28,051
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
66
00:02:28,076 --> 00:02:30,696
okay, okay, okay, okay.
67
00:02:30,746 --> 00:02:32,706
Um, who's Dad talking to back there?
68
00:02:32,746 --> 00:02:35,996
Your dad's just having
an interesting day.
69
00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:36,956
"You're acting weird."
70
00:02:36,996 --> 00:02:38,166
No, you're acting weird.
71
00:02:38,206 --> 00:02:39,746
"You just put mustard on me.
72
00:02:39,796 --> 00:02:41,206
I'm not supposed to have mustard."
73
00:02:41,256 --> 00:02:43,216
I know what you have
on you. I invented you.
74
00:02:45,086 --> 00:02:46,586
"Here we go."
75
00:02:46,636 --> 00:02:48,556
Uh, I'll just go back
there and check on him.
76
00:02:48,596 --> 00:02:50,192
Now I'm gonna put
tons of mustard on you!
77
00:02:50,216 --> 00:02:51,362
What do you think about that?!
78
00:02:51,386 --> 00:02:53,886
- Whoa.
- Yeah, he's got the burnout.
79
00:02:53,935 --> 00:02:54,975
I'm sorry.
80
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,765
We got to get him to
take the day off tomorrow.
81
00:02:56,821 --> 00:02:59,081
Let's kiss. Just a little kiss.
82
00:02:59,106 --> 00:03:01,165
And I think I know what we should do.
83
00:03:01,190 --> 00:03:02,520
Poison him.
84
00:03:07,369 --> 00:03:08,289
Linda?
85
00:03:09,469 --> 00:03:10,286
Lin?
86
00:03:10,326 --> 00:03:11,616
Kids?
87
00:03:12,994 --> 00:03:14,414
Hello?
88
00:03:17,286 --> 00:03:19,492
What are you guys doing
down here so early?
89
00:03:20,141 --> 00:03:21,876
The-the door's locked.
90
00:03:21,916 --> 00:03:23,586
Guys, seriously, open the door.
91
00:03:23,641 --> 00:03:25,191
I'm afraid not, Bob.
92
00:03:25,216 --> 00:03:26,716
This is your outer-vention.
93
00:03:26,756 --> 00:03:27,639
What?!
94
00:03:27,664 --> 00:03:29,530
You got to stay out of
the restaurant today.
95
00:03:29,556 --> 00:03:31,896
You're getting a day off
whether you like it or not.
96
00:03:31,926 --> 00:03:33,346
No!
97
00:03:36,686 --> 00:03:39,396
- Let me in.
- No! You need a day off.
98
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,316
- Kids, open the door.
- Get out of here, Dad.
99
00:03:41,356 --> 00:03:42,976
We don't want you. Go on, get.
100
00:03:43,026 --> 00:03:44,502
Until tonight. Please come back tonight.
101
00:03:44,526 --> 00:03:46,816
Fine. I'll just go get the extra keys.
102
00:03:46,856 --> 00:03:48,856
- No!
- We're setting you free, Dad.
103
00:03:48,881 --> 00:03:50,631
Go! Run with the other men.
104
00:03:50,656 --> 00:03:52,076
We are not letting you in.
105
00:03:52,116 --> 00:03:54,865
You have to go have fun.
Do something relaxing.
106
00:03:54,866 --> 00:03:56,071
Never!
107
00:03:56,416 --> 00:03:58,506
The back. Kids, go.
108
00:04:01,430 --> 00:04:03,600
No, no, no, no, no! No!
109
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:04,795
Let me work!
110
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,210
No way, mister.
111
00:04:06,235 --> 00:04:07,716
There's a bun delivery today, Lin.
112
00:04:07,771 --> 00:04:10,780
I-I need to be here to
check if they're all okay.
113
00:04:10,805 --> 00:04:12,191
We've got your buns covered, Dad.
114
00:04:12,216 --> 00:04:15,176
Let me in and I promise I'll
take the day off tomorrow.
115
00:04:15,226 --> 00:04:17,216
No! This is for your own good!
116
00:04:17,241 --> 00:04:18,781
I'll just keep pounding, then.
117
00:04:18,806 --> 00:04:21,356
You'll never get rid of me.
118
00:04:21,381 --> 00:04:24,676
- _
- I'm still here.
119
00:04:26,606 --> 00:04:27,856
Mr. Fischoeder. He'll have keys.
120
00:04:28,015 --> 00:04:30,185
Uh, Mr. Fischoeder! Wait!
121
00:04:34,297 --> 00:04:36,374
M-Mr. Fischoeder.
122
00:04:36,399 --> 00:04:38,956
Uh, thank you for stopping...
123
00:04:38,996 --> 00:04:43,030
so, so far away from when
you first heard me yelling.
124
00:04:43,055 --> 00:04:45,468
Bob, what are you doing running
after me like a crazy person?
125
00:04:45,508 --> 00:04:47,848
Oh, I-I need, uh,
keys to the restaurant.
126
00:04:47,873 --> 00:04:49,463
- Linda won't let me in.
- Oh.
127
00:04:49,503 --> 00:04:52,383
Well, we all knew this day
would come. Good for her.
128
00:04:52,463 --> 00:04:55,003
No, no, no. I-It's not that.
It's just I want to work,
129
00:04:55,053 --> 00:04:57,430
and she's forcing me
to take the day off.
130
00:04:57,455 --> 00:05:00,763
You want to work? At that restaurant?
131
00:05:00,803 --> 00:05:02,183
Uh, yes.
132
00:05:02,223 --> 00:05:03,683
Bob. Bob, Bob, Bob. Get in.
133
00:05:03,723 --> 00:05:05,263
I've got something I want to show you.
134
00:05:05,288 --> 00:05:08,128
Wait, hold on. First let
me put down a Wee-Wee Pad.
135
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:09,643
Linda.
136
00:05:09,693 --> 00:05:11,732
Oh, hi, Mudflap. How are you?
137
00:05:11,757 --> 00:05:13,474
I'm great. Family's great.
138
00:05:13,499 --> 00:05:16,113
Got my back tattoo
removed. Put it on my front.
139
00:05:16,153 --> 00:05:17,969
- I hear that.
- Can I get you something to eat?
140
00:05:17,993 --> 00:05:19,623
Actually, I was wondering
141
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,703
if I could have a
surprise baby shower here.
142
00:05:21,743 --> 00:05:23,993
- It's for my friend Goldie.
- Aw!
143
00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:26,333
Goldie's in a different
gang, the Easy Beavers.
144
00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:28,333
Anyway, she deserves a great shower,
145
00:05:28,373 --> 00:05:30,503
and this is the only
nice restaurant I know.
146
00:05:30,543 --> 00:05:31,963
So, what do you think?
147
00:05:32,003 --> 00:05:33,869
Of course. When is it gonna be?
148
00:05:33,894 --> 00:05:35,368
- Like, in an hour.
- Today?!
149
00:05:35,423 --> 00:05:36,883
That's what I put on the Evites.
150
00:05:36,923 --> 00:05:39,923
Today is soon, but we can handle it.
151
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:42,643
Right, kids? You want to help
put a baby shower together
152
00:05:42,683 --> 00:05:44,263
- in an hour or what?
- Or what.
153
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:45,723
I'll call all the babies I know
154
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:46,789
and tell them to get
their asses over here.
155
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,233
And I'll call all the asses I know
156
00:05:48,273 --> 00:05:50,323
and tell them to get
their babies over here.
157
00:05:50,348 --> 00:05:53,598
Oh, here's a bunch of money
that is definitely not stolen
158
00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:55,323
to help cover the food and whatnot.
159
00:05:55,363 --> 00:05:56,453
All right.
160
00:05:56,478 --> 00:05:58,318
Go, go, shower rangers.
161
00:05:59,334 --> 00:06:01,153
Um, what's this for?
162
00:06:01,203 --> 00:06:03,333
It's for rolling, Bob.
You roll them down the hill
163
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,453
and see if a car runs them over.
164
00:06:05,493 --> 00:06:08,203
Right. Uh, but why?
165
00:06:08,228 --> 00:06:10,398
B-Because it's fun, Bob.
166
00:06:10,423 --> 00:06:11,616
Try it.
167
00:06:14,149 --> 00:06:18,043
See?
168
00:06:18,093 --> 00:06:20,763
It seems like a waste of food, honestly.
169
00:06:20,803 --> 00:06:23,803
Exactly. Waste of food.
Waste of time. You get it.
170
00:06:23,843 --> 00:06:27,433
Doing nothing, Bob, is
really doing something.
171
00:06:27,473 --> 00:06:29,433
That literally makes no sense.
172
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:31,353
Maybe you could just
give me the keys and...
173
00:06:31,393 --> 00:06:32,983
Bob, Bob, Bob, you're not listening.
174
00:06:33,023 --> 00:06:35,143
♪ There are times in my life ♪
175
00:06:35,168 --> 00:06:37,248
♪ When I've had to do something ♪
176
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:41,733
♪ Hiring, firing,
illegal trash dumping ♪
177
00:06:41,783 --> 00:06:46,113
♪ But any time that I
have had something to do ♪
178
00:06:46,163 --> 00:06:47,873
♪ I always wished that I could ♪
179
00:06:47,898 --> 00:06:51,342
♪ Bid that something adieu ♪
180
00:06:51,913 --> 00:06:55,123
♪ Nothing, nothing,
nothing makes me happy ♪
181
00:06:55,173 --> 00:06:59,603
♪ Doing something is what I avoid ♪
182
00:06:59,633 --> 00:07:01,463
♪ I adore diddly-squat ♪
183
00:07:01,513 --> 00:07:03,643
♪ It thrills me a lot ♪
184
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:07,683
♪ And nothing never
gets me annoyed ♪
185
00:07:07,723 --> 00:07:12,393
♪ Oh, sometimes I have to
do stuff, and I hate it ♪
186
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:16,893
♪ Like paying off arsonists,
showering and shaving... ♪
187
00:07:16,943 --> 00:07:19,363
Wait, did you just say
"paying off arsonists"?
188
00:07:19,403 --> 00:07:22,483
No, I said, uh, playing
golf with pharmacists.
189
00:07:22,516 --> 00:07:24,346
Huh. Where was I? Oh.
190
00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:28,113
♪ Nothing, nothing, nothing
makes me happy, happy, happy ♪
191
00:07:28,123 --> 00:07:31,423
♪ Nothing brings
me nothing but joy ♪
192
00:07:31,453 --> 00:07:34,043
♪ So if you haven't tried nada ♪
193
00:07:34,083 --> 00:07:36,463
♪ I really think you oughta ♪
194
00:07:36,503 --> 00:07:40,463
♪ 'Cause all play and no work ♪
195
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,682
♪ Makes me ♪
196
00:07:42,707 --> 00:07:47,303
♪ A big, sexy boy ♪
197
00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:49,223
♪ Big old sexy boy. ♪
198
00:07:49,278 --> 00:07:50,988
Are you starting to get it now, Bob?
199
00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:54,643
Maybe. I mean, I guess you
are a big, sexy boy, but...
200
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,983
- Well, of course I am.
- Yeah.
201
00:07:56,023 --> 00:07:57,943
Now let's go do nothing somewhere else.
202
00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,613
Okay, I made a bunch of sliders.
203
00:08:00,653 --> 00:08:02,209
It's like baby hamburgers,
so it's perfect.
204
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:03,629
Okay, Mom.
205
00:08:03,653 --> 00:08:05,233
I looked for dolls for the diaper relay.
206
00:08:05,283 --> 00:08:07,033
Found a couple of Tina's old ones,
207
00:08:07,073 --> 00:08:09,155
and then I got this butternut squash,
208
00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:10,083
Gene's pillow
209
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,843
and a Halloween skeleton
that plays guitar.
210
00:08:12,873 --> 00:08:14,743
Great. Tina, are you
done mushing up stuff
211
00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:16,333
for the baby food guessing game?
212
00:08:16,373 --> 00:08:18,003
Yep. I mushed my tush off.
213
00:08:18,043 --> 00:08:19,753
- Here she comes.
- Oh!
214
00:08:19,793 --> 00:08:21,423
Everybody hide. Hide!
215
00:08:23,358 --> 00:08:25,210
Surprise!
216
00:08:25,235 --> 00:08:27,473
Oh, God! What the hell is this?
217
00:08:27,513 --> 00:08:29,013
It's your baby shower.
218
00:08:29,973 --> 00:08:32,513
Oh, God, no. No.
219
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:34,933
- No, no, no, no.
- Are those happy tears?
220
00:08:35,059 --> 00:08:36,939
I do not think so, Linda.
221
00:08:38,196 --> 00:08:39,458
Felix. Grover.
222
00:08:39,483 --> 00:08:41,153
Bob, this is Grover Fischoeder.
223
00:08:41,193 --> 00:08:42,863
He's our cousin and our lawyer.
224
00:08:42,903 --> 00:08:44,903
Oh. Uh, what-what is this place?
225
00:08:44,943 --> 00:08:48,493
Um, it is a private social club
226
00:08:48,533 --> 00:08:50,203
that is well within its rights
227
00:08:50,243 --> 00:08:53,493
to host any number of
animal strength contests.
228
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,493
- Snail wrestling, Bob.
- I'm sorry, what?
229
00:08:55,543 --> 00:08:58,093
- Snail wrestling.
- Uh, if you're joining us,
230
00:08:58,123 --> 00:08:59,413
I will need you to sign a waiver.
231
00:08:59,463 --> 00:09:01,793
Have you ever had
diphtheria or Snail Tail?
232
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,383
- Um, neither.
- What do you say, Bob?
233
00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:04,793
Care to snail?
234
00:09:04,843 --> 00:09:07,093
It's not nothing, but it's damn close.
235
00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:09,383
And it's just a thousand-dollar buy-in.
236
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:10,933
Uh, you know what, Mr. Fischoeder,
237
00:09:10,972 --> 00:09:12,802
I'm gonna take what you said to heart.
238
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:16,817
I'm gonna go try to enjoy my life.
239
00:09:16,842 --> 00:09:18,393
Have fun with your snails.
240
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,973
What snails? Uh, no snails here.
241
00:09:20,998 --> 00:09:21,813
No.
242
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,193
How dare you? Shame on you.
243
00:09:24,889 --> 00:09:27,533
- Goldie, what's going on?
- What do you mean?
244
00:09:27,573 --> 00:09:28,799
Well, you walked into your baby shower,
245
00:09:28,823 --> 00:09:30,363
we all yelled "surprise,"
246
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,639
and then you started crying tears
247
00:09:31,663 --> 00:09:33,423
of genuine emotional sadness.
248
00:09:33,453 --> 00:09:35,573
I did not! You take that back.
249
00:09:35,623 --> 00:09:37,203
Okay, okay.
250
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,203
- So, you're not sad?
- Who's this?
251
00:09:39,253 --> 00:09:41,293
That's Linda. I had my
baby in her restaurant.
252
00:09:41,333 --> 00:09:42,793
This restaurant right here.
253
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,957
Right there in that booth, actually.
254
00:09:44,982 --> 00:09:46,562
Nah. I'm gonna call her Two Boobs.
255
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,383
All right. So, do you want to go ahead
256
00:09:48,423 --> 00:09:51,343
with this party that we've
been planning for months?
257
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,671
Yeah, sure. Uh, you know,
258
00:09:53,696 --> 00:09:55,632
I-I love to party. Hell, yeah.
259
00:09:55,657 --> 00:09:57,671
But no having your baby in
the booth. One was enough.
260
00:09:57,696 --> 00:09:59,196
Copy that, Two Boobs.
261
00:10:04,024 --> 00:10:05,563
Wow, maybe this is nice,
262
00:10:05,777 --> 00:10:07,487
taking a day off.
263
00:10:08,783 --> 00:10:09,703
My buns.
264
00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:11,373
I-I'll just pop in
265
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:14,073
and give them a quick touch and sniff.
266
00:10:17,376 --> 00:10:19,634
Wait! Aah!
267
00:10:27,212 --> 00:10:29,093
- Gah!
- Uh-oh, Joel.
268
00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:30,569
Looks like you've got
another bread perv.
269
00:10:30,593 --> 00:10:33,133
No, I... Wait. Wait,
wh-what's a bread perv?
270
00:10:33,183 --> 00:10:35,140
You know, one of those
guys who's into bread.
271
00:10:35,165 --> 00:10:37,070
I mean, really into bread.
272
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:39,148
He's not a bread perv. That's Bob.
273
00:10:39,173 --> 00:10:41,313
- I know him. He's a customer.
- Just because you know him
274
00:10:41,353 --> 00:10:43,898
-doesn't mean he's not a bread perv.
-Oh, true.
275
00:10:43,923 --> 00:10:45,843
- Wait, bread pervs are real?
- Too real.
276
00:10:45,868 --> 00:10:48,047
Bob, what were you doing to these rolls?
277
00:10:48,072 --> 00:10:49,862
I-I-I
was, uh...
278
00:10:49,902 --> 00:10:52,612
smelling them and, um, touching them.
279
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,072
- Bread perv.
- Through the plastic.
280
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,952
Look, I missed my bread delivery today
281
00:10:55,992 --> 00:10:58,662
because my wife made me take
a day off from my restaurant,
282
00:10:58,702 --> 00:11:00,832
and so I was seeing if mine were in here
283
00:11:00,872 --> 00:11:02,859
so I could just check them out.
284
00:11:02,884 --> 00:11:04,578
I already dropped your buns off, Bob.
285
00:11:04,603 --> 00:11:07,143
Oh, man. If someone forced
me to take the day off,
286
00:11:07,183 --> 00:11:08,563
there'd be no one here.
287
00:11:08,603 --> 00:11:10,433
So you run this place all by yourself?
288
00:11:10,483 --> 00:11:12,733
Patricia's 77 Sandwiches?
289
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,903
I got to get out of here.
That guy headed this way is
290
00:11:14,943 --> 00:11:17,503
-an actual bread perv.
-Oh, here, let me get that other one.
291
00:11:17,528 --> 00:11:20,613
-Oh. Thanks.
-Okay, that's all of it. I got to go.
292
00:11:20,653 --> 00:11:22,493
Hey, what do you guys have there?
293
00:11:22,525 --> 00:11:24,275
-Italian loaf? -Stay back!
- Get out of here!
294
00:11:24,322 --> 00:11:25,992
- Ciabatta?
- Get away from my bread!
295
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,953
Do you really make all 77 sandwiches?
296
00:11:27,993 --> 00:11:29,793
Oh, no. I make 34.
297
00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:32,163
That's why I call it
Patricia's 77 Sandwiches.
298
00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:34,503
- Can I try one?
- Sure. What can I make you?
299
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,868
Uh, I guess I'll have, uh, number 47.
300
00:11:36,923 --> 00:11:38,213
It's the turkey...
301
00:11:38,253 --> 00:11:39,633
Turkey, onions, dill cream cheese,
302
00:11:39,673 --> 00:11:40,843
cucumber, roasted peppers,
303
00:11:40,883 --> 00:11:42,763
and hummus on a black pepper roll.
304
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,973
Wow. You have all 77 memorized?
305
00:11:44,998 --> 00:11:46,353
Course I have them memorized.
306
00:11:46,393 --> 00:11:48,513
I can barely remember
all my kids' names.
307
00:11:48,563 --> 00:11:51,183
You have kids? I didn't
know bread could reproduce.
308
00:11:51,233 --> 00:11:53,893
- Go! Go! Go! Go!
- Done!
309
00:11:53,943 --> 00:11:54,983
Two Boobs, check me.
310
00:11:55,008 --> 00:11:57,100
Diaper is on... the face.
311
00:11:57,126 --> 00:11:57,903
No winner.
312
00:11:57,950 --> 00:11:59,910
Check it again, woman.
313
00:11:59,943 --> 00:12:01,943
I mean, uh, I mean, yay! Great job!
314
00:12:01,993 --> 00:12:03,953
Uh, Goldie, you win. Yay!
315
00:12:03,993 --> 00:12:05,493
All right, all right!
316
00:12:05,533 --> 00:12:06,913
That's more like it!
317
00:12:06,953 --> 00:12:08,493
Oh, no, what's wrong?
318
00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:10,123
Are you going into labor?
319
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,873
No. Course not. Uh,
this little passenger
320
00:12:11,913 --> 00:12:13,713
in my baby carriage is just giving me
321
00:12:13,753 --> 00:12:15,753
pretty fierce bottom ramen, you know?
322
00:12:15,793 --> 00:12:17,133
Wha... ? Wha-Wha-What's
she saying?
323
00:12:17,188 --> 00:12:18,648
It's biker for "diarrhea."
324
00:12:18,673 --> 00:12:20,593
Oh. Uh, there's the bathroom.
325
00:12:20,633 --> 00:12:22,713
Someone's in there... Not doing drugs.
326
00:12:22,763 --> 00:12:25,883
Oh. Okay, okay. Uh, go
to the employee bathroom.
327
00:12:25,933 --> 00:12:28,473
- Gene, show her where.
- Right this way, milady.
328
00:12:28,513 --> 00:12:31,013
Ooh, let's waddle along.
329
00:12:32,393 --> 00:12:34,813
Mmm. Wow. This is really good.
330
00:12:34,853 --> 00:12:37,313
- Uh, Patricia. Patricia.
- One sec, Bob.
331
00:12:37,363 --> 00:12:39,373
- This sandwich is really good.
- What's that?
332
00:12:39,403 --> 00:12:41,943
- I said this sandwich was...
- Um, excuse me, miss?
333
00:12:41,993 --> 00:12:44,163
- Right with you.
- Can I get some more napkins?
334
00:12:44,203 --> 00:12:46,009
- Uh, hey-hey, Patricia?
- Uh, kind of busy, Bob.
335
00:12:46,034 --> 00:12:48,124
- Is my to-go ready?
- Uh-huh. Yep.
336
00:12:48,163 --> 00:12:49,993
Patricia, you're
slammed. Let me help you.
337
00:12:50,033 --> 00:12:51,453
What? No, that's crazy.
338
00:12:51,493 --> 00:12:53,703
It's crazy not to let
me help you. Please.
339
00:12:53,753 --> 00:12:56,083
- Okay, fine.
- Yes! Give me an apron.
340
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:58,059
-I'm ready to work.
-Now you're making me regret this.
341
00:12:58,083 --> 00:12:59,490
You're too excited, and
it's freaking me out.
342
00:12:59,515 --> 00:13:01,435
Sorry. Sorry. I-I'll be cool.
343
00:13:04,568 --> 00:13:06,779
-Oh, hey, Steve. You're a little bit early.
-Yeah.
344
00:13:06,803 --> 00:13:09,763
I thought I'd try the number
39 while I wait for a big date.
345
00:13:09,803 --> 00:13:12,974
Okay, so, a, a number 39 for Steve.
346
00:13:12,999 --> 00:13:14,733
Yeah. I'm officially halfway today.
347
00:13:14,773 --> 00:13:17,192
I've been working my
way through the menu.
348
00:13:17,193 --> 00:13:19,023
Wow. So you've been here 39 times?
349
00:13:19,063 --> 00:13:21,573
Yep. I do like the sandwiches, but, uh,
350
00:13:21,613 --> 00:13:24,743
I mainly kept coming back
'cause I wanted to ask her out.
351
00:13:24,783 --> 00:13:27,033
-It took a while.
-Had to make sure you weren't weird.
352
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,573
Oh, I'm weird. Look.
This finger is too short.
353
00:13:29,623 --> 00:13:30,793
That's your thumb.
354
00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:32,633
Is it? Then what's this?
355
00:13:32,663 --> 00:13:35,753
- I... Oh, my God, I don't know.
- I don't know, either.
356
00:13:35,793 --> 00:13:38,253
- So, where are you taking me?
- I thought we could go ride
357
00:13:38,293 --> 00:13:39,793
the Ferris wheel after the lunch rush.
358
00:13:39,833 --> 00:13:41,753
I am not riding that death trap. No.
359
00:13:41,793 --> 00:13:44,093
No one has died on it
in at least a year-ish.
360
00:13:44,133 --> 00:13:46,633
I think someone fell off and
broke their leg last week,
361
00:13:46,673 --> 00:13:48,593
- but I-I won't tell her.
- Thanks.
362
00:13:48,633 --> 00:13:49,973
♪ ♪
363
00:13:50,013 --> 00:13:53,143
Well, you might want
to just seal that puppy off
364
00:13:53,183 --> 00:13:54,853
for a couple of years, Two Boobs.
365
00:13:54,893 --> 00:13:57,143
Who's ready for the
baby food eating contest?
366
00:13:57,193 --> 00:13:58,823
Okay, Tina, it's your time to shine.
367
00:13:58,853 --> 00:14:00,533
In these cups are three
different mashed...
368
00:14:00,558 --> 00:14:02,764
No... !
369
00:14:02,789 --> 00:14:04,458
Uh-oh. Diarrhea's back.
370
00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:06,701
Nope. I was lying about the diarrhea.
371
00:14:06,726 --> 00:14:09,258
I mean, not lying. It's
a whole bunch of things.
372
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:10,863
But I've also been having contractions
373
00:14:10,913 --> 00:14:15,108
for the past 24 hou... rs... !
374
00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:17,108
- Oh, my God!
- Uh, Goldie, Linda,
375
00:14:17,133 --> 00:14:18,623
I'm kind of in the middle of my speech.
376
00:14:18,663 --> 00:14:21,116
Goldie, why didn't you
tell anyone you were labor?
377
00:14:21,141 --> 00:14:23,293
Because I'm
not ready to have this baby!
378
00:14:23,368 --> 00:14:26,028
That's why I was crying
earlier. I'm freaking out!
379
00:14:26,053 --> 00:14:27,553
Oh, this was all a mistake!
380
00:14:27,593 --> 00:14:29,423
I don't want to be a mom!
381
00:14:29,473 --> 00:14:31,369
Goldie, Goldie, Goldie, calm down.
382
00:14:31,393 --> 00:14:33,723
Hey! You see these
three kids right here?
383
00:14:33,763 --> 00:14:36,523
They all came out of me, and let
me tell you something, sister.
384
00:14:36,563 --> 00:14:38,531
- Yeah?
- I was not ready for 'em.
385
00:14:38,556 --> 00:14:40,031
Look, I get it.
386
00:14:40,056 --> 00:14:41,943
You got a tiny stranger
coming out of your vagina
387
00:14:41,983 --> 00:14:44,259
who's going to annoy you
for the rest of your life.
388
00:14:44,330 --> 00:14:46,403
But they'll also be the
thing you're proudest of.
389
00:14:46,443 --> 00:14:49,157
-We're a damn treat.
-I don't even wear diapers anymore.
390
00:14:49,182 --> 00:14:50,232
Brag!
391
00:14:50,287 --> 00:14:51,787
I wasn't ready for Sidecar,
392
00:14:51,812 --> 00:14:53,772
but I birthed him right
here in this booth,
393
00:14:53,804 --> 00:14:55,478
and now I would die for that kid.
394
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:57,497
Okay, okay, so you're saying
395
00:14:57,547 --> 00:14:59,717
I don't have to be ready for the baby?
396
00:14:59,757 --> 00:15:01,557
It's all just super easy?
397
00:15:01,582 --> 00:15:03,462
Um, not really.
398
00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:05,617
But, uh, there's some
apps you can download,
399
00:15:05,642 --> 00:15:07,875
and, uh, I think somebody wrote a book.
400
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,742
You'll figure it all out, right?
401
00:15:09,767 --> 00:15:12,945
Hey, if those three men could
have a baby, you'll be fine.
402
00:15:12,970 --> 00:15:15,657
Okay! I'm gonna stop trying
403
00:15:15,702 --> 00:15:18,322
to hold this sucker in!
404
00:15:18,357 --> 00:15:19,857
Okay.
405
00:15:19,897 --> 00:15:21,897
I-I think that's it. So, uh,
406
00:15:21,937 --> 00:15:24,390
you guys will be able to go
on your Ferris wheel date now.
407
00:15:24,415 --> 00:15:27,182
He... he seems nice. How
long have you been going out?
408
00:15:27,237 --> 00:15:29,327
Um, since whenever I
leave here with him.
409
00:15:29,367 --> 00:15:31,077
This will be our first date.
410
00:15:31,117 --> 00:15:32,827
Oh, can you grab that?
411
00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:34,367
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bob's B...
412
00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:37,508
Oh. Uh, Patricia's 77 Sandwiches.
413
00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:39,587
Oh, okay, a catering
order. Uh, let me ask.
414
00:15:39,627 --> 00:15:41,457
Uh, how many sandwiches?
415
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,492
Whoa. And when do you need them by?
416
00:15:43,517 --> 00:15:45,097
Okay, hold on. Let me check.
417
00:15:45,122 --> 00:15:46,140
- Patricia.
- Yeah.
418
00:15:46,165 --> 00:15:48,625
They went 77 sandwiches. One of each.
419
00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:50,306
It's for 40 minutes from now.
420
00:15:50,347 --> 00:15:52,387
What? That's, like,
two sandwiches a minute.
421
00:15:52,427 --> 00:15:53,887
So, should I say yes?
422
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:56,212
No. I can't do that many
sandwiches that fast.
423
00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:58,437
But you've got help.
You-you can't say no to this.
424
00:15:58,477 --> 00:16:02,107
- I don't know.
- 77 sandwiches, Patricia.
425
00:16:02,147 --> 00:16:04,817
This is so exciting. This
is the sandwich Olympics.
426
00:16:04,857 --> 00:16:07,067
This is what we've been training for.
427
00:16:07,107 --> 00:16:09,617
Oh, my God. Okay, let's do it.
428
00:16:09,657 --> 00:16:12,336
Yes! 77 sandwiches!
429
00:16:12,377 --> 00:16:13,922
Oh, oh, oh, I got to tell the guy.
430
00:16:13,947 --> 00:16:15,287
Oh. Y-You heard all that?
431
00:16:15,327 --> 00:16:17,037
We're all doing this!
432
00:16:17,062 --> 00:16:20,022
Yes! All right, I got to go! I love you!
433
00:16:24,507 --> 00:16:26,007
- 33.
- 34.
434
00:16:26,032 --> 00:16:27,572
Okay, number 35. Salami, mozzarella,
435
00:16:27,597 --> 00:16:29,017
red pepper, olive tapenade.
436
00:16:29,042 --> 00:16:30,882
Got it. Oh, hey, Steve.
You need anything?
437
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:34,287
Nope. Just, uh, I got to
head back to work soon, so...
438
00:16:34,387 --> 00:16:36,347
Right. Don't worry,
we're... we're almost done.
439
00:16:36,387 --> 00:16:38,227
- 36.
- Aah! Got ahead of me.
440
00:16:38,267 --> 00:16:40,097
- Catch up.
- I love this!
441
00:16:40,122 --> 00:16:41,622
- 51.
- 52!
442
00:16:41,647 --> 00:16:43,607
- 66.
- 67!
443
00:16:43,632 --> 00:16:45,882
And 68! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
444
00:16:45,987 --> 00:16:48,657
74. Whew! You are
breathing very hard, Bob.
445
00:16:48,697 --> 00:16:50,317
I know.
446
00:16:50,374 --> 00:16:52,414
It's alarming. I-I-I might be dying.
447
00:16:52,447 --> 00:16:54,117
But this is worth it.
448
00:16:54,157 --> 00:16:56,617
And... 77 sandwiches.
449
00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:58,837
Hi. I'm here to pick up the...
450
00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:01,452
- Whoa.
- Yes, yes. He's a mess.
451
00:17:01,497 --> 00:17:03,797
Do you, uh, do you need...
452
00:17:03,837 --> 00:17:07,107
- do you need help to your car?
- Uh, no, thanks. I'm good.
453
00:17:07,132 --> 00:17:10,072
Oh. Steve, did you,
uh, did you see that?
454
00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:12,357
Oh. Oh. Steve is gone.
455
00:17:12,387 --> 00:17:15,427
Oh... Right. Steve.
456
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:18,767
He left a note. "Hey,
Patricia, you're great,
457
00:17:18,792 --> 00:17:20,962
"and I would have loved
to have gone out with you,
458
00:17:21,017 --> 00:17:22,767
"but I get that the
restaurant comes first.
459
00:17:22,817 --> 00:17:24,077
So I'll stop bugging you."
460
00:17:24,107 --> 00:17:26,107
Hmm. Seems like an overreaction.
461
00:17:26,147 --> 00:17:28,437
Well, I have stood him up before.
462
00:17:28,487 --> 00:17:30,986
A lot. 11 times, possibly.
463
00:17:30,987 --> 00:17:32,697
I guess that is a lot of times.
464
00:17:32,737 --> 00:17:34,407
What am I supposed to do...
465
00:17:34,447 --> 00:17:37,247
Take a day off every time
I want to go on a date?
466
00:17:37,287 --> 00:17:38,827
Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no.
467
00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:40,827
What? What? What? What?
468
00:17:40,877 --> 00:17:43,087
My family was right...
I did need a day off.
469
00:17:43,127 --> 00:17:44,417
And instead of taking one,
470
00:17:44,457 --> 00:17:46,337
I went and worked at
a different restaurant,
471
00:17:46,377 --> 00:17:48,547
and I got you into my craziness, too.
472
00:17:48,586 --> 00:17:50,216
Uh-uh, uh-uh. No, no, no, no, no.
473
00:17:50,257 --> 00:17:52,967
This is not your fault.
This restaurant is my life.
474
00:17:53,007 --> 00:17:55,807
I mean, someday maybe
I'll have 15 minutes
475
00:17:55,847 --> 00:17:57,927
to go out with a nice guy like Steve,
476
00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:59,432
but not right now.
477
00:17:59,457 --> 00:18:01,597
I put all my savings into this place.
478
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,817
This is the only thing
I'm doing right now.
479
00:18:03,857 --> 00:18:05,357
Right, I-I totally get it.
480
00:18:05,397 --> 00:18:07,857
I just... all day
everyone's been telling me
481
00:18:07,897 --> 00:18:11,067
I needed a day off, and I-I
got mad, because I love to work,
482
00:18:11,107 --> 00:18:14,317
but they said that to me
because they care about me.
483
00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:17,487
And having someone in your
corner, well, that's what makes
484
00:18:17,537 --> 00:18:19,867
- doing all of this worth it.
- Oh, well,
485
00:18:19,907 --> 00:18:21,787
now you're gonna make
me cry, Bob. Great.
486
00:18:21,827 --> 00:18:23,957
Look, I'm not saying
you have to marry Steve,
487
00:18:23,997 --> 00:18:25,787
or any guy right now,
I'm just saying that
488
00:18:25,837 --> 00:18:28,247
I have one thing that's
more important to me
489
00:18:28,337 --> 00:18:30,957
than my restaurant,
and that's my family.
490
00:18:30,982 --> 00:18:34,637
Although a lot of times
that's very difficult.
491
00:18:34,677 --> 00:18:37,177
Mm. So you're saying I
ought to do that thing
492
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,020
where I run and find Steve?
493
00:18:39,045 --> 00:18:40,295
I mean... yeah.
494
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,070
Who's gonna clean up and close?
495
00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:43,780
- I'll-I'll close.
- You'd close for me?
496
00:18:43,820 --> 00:18:45,620
It's nasty in here.
497
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:47,760
I didn't say I'd clean
up. I said I'd close.
498
00:18:47,785 --> 00:18:49,589
- Now, go.
- Okay, I'm going.
499
00:18:49,621 --> 00:18:52,547
Thanks, Bob. You're all
right for a bread perv.
500
00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:54,250
Where are the damn paramedics?!
501
00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:56,290
I'm sure they'll be here soon.
502
00:18:56,315 --> 00:18:57,695
You just keep breathing, Goldie.
503
00:18:59,090 --> 00:19:00,550
Oh, boy!
504
00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:02,880
- What? What? What?
- Get these pants off me,
505
00:19:02,930 --> 00:19:05,977
'cause this baby is
signaling for the off-ramp.
506
00:19:06,002 --> 00:19:08,252
Well, I guess we're
having another biker baby.
507
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:10,657
Will it drive out on a tiny motorcycle?
508
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:11,682
I can't remember.
509
00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:19,070
♪ All of my life, I've
been told to slow down ♪
510
00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:21,860
♪ To stop, to rest ♪
511
00:19:21,891 --> 00:19:24,039
♪ Take a look around ♪
512
00:19:24,064 --> 00:19:28,370
♪ That life could be more
than a pile of ground beef ♪
513
00:19:28,410 --> 00:19:31,080
♪ And while I believe ♪
514
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:34,830
♪ That that's your belief... ♪
515
00:19:34,870 --> 00:19:38,210
♪ Nothing makes me happier ♪
516
00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:41,800
♪ Than serving some
food to some guy ♪
517
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,260
♪ It may seem so boring,
it might get you snoring ♪
518
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:48,470
♪ But to me it's
the Fourth of July ♪
519
00:19:48,510 --> 00:19:52,430
♪ Oh, nothing makes me happier ♪
520
00:19:52,470 --> 00:19:56,480
♪ Than the smell of
a freshly-baked bun ♪
521
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,520
♪ Nothing makes me happier ♪
522
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,690
♪ Than a burger
that's perfectly done ♪
523
00:20:02,730 --> 00:20:04,650
♪ Oh, the crumpled-up napkin ♪
524
00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:06,910
♪ All covered in grease ♪
525
00:20:06,950 --> 00:20:10,120
♪ The french fries so crisp
that you'll call the police ♪
526
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,240
♪ It's not bragging to say ♪
527
00:20:12,290 --> 00:20:16,410
♪ That they might
cause world peace... ♪
528
00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:19,790
♪ Nothing makes me happier ♪
529
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,100
♪ Than cooking again and again ♪
530
00:20:23,130 --> 00:20:26,800
♪ But nothing makes me happier ♪
531
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,010
♪ Than them. ♪
532
00:20:29,035 --> 00:20:30,835
♪ ♪
533
00:20:40,354 --> 00:20:41,650
Oh, my God.
534
00:20:41,690 --> 00:20:44,190
Bobby! Another biker had
a baby in our restaurant.
535
00:20:44,230 --> 00:20:46,320
This time standing up by the stools.
536
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,490
- Hi, Dad. I'm a doula now.
- And I'm a father.
537
00:20:48,530 --> 00:20:50,910
If you want some afterbirth,
I think there's still a bunch
538
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,660
on the floor. No one's called dibs.
539
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:55,120
Did you guys use buns
to clean up the blood?
540
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,830
They're fine. Don't be a princess.
541
00:20:56,870 --> 00:20:58,500
Oh, you are all fired.
542
00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:00,960
All right!
543
00:21:00,985 --> 00:21:02,856
♪ You're the best in the sandwich game ♪
544
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,920
♪ How many sandwiches
can you name? 25 ♪
545
00:21:04,945 --> 00:21:07,155
♪ Salmon, cream cheese,
onions and chives ♪
546
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:09,230
-♪ 31 ♪
-♪ Turkey meat loaf on an artisan bun ♪
547
00:21:09,255 --> 00:21:11,675
-♪ Number three ♪
-♪ Fancy peanut butter and jelly ♪
548
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,760
-♪ 14 ♪
-♪ Swiss, salami and aioli, queen ♪
549
00:21:13,810 --> 00:21:15,610
♪ ♪
550
00:21:17,730 --> 00:21:20,190
-♪ 33 ♪
-♪ Turkey bacon, peanut butter, honey ♪
551
00:21:20,230 --> 00:21:22,360
-♪ 42 ♪
-♪ Sriracha, turkey on French bread, boo ♪
552
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,730
-♪ 56 ♪
-♪ Ham, Swiss and mayo with a spring mix ♪
553
00:21:24,780 --> 00:21:26,830
- ♪ 69 ♪
- ♪ 69, I just say nice ♪
554
00:21:26,860 --> 00:21:27,527
♪ 87. ♪
555
00:21:27,552 --> 00:21:29,530
I don't have 87,
don't be trying to trick me.
556
00:21:29,555 --> 00:21:30,895
It was a good year.
557
00:21:32,068 --> 00:21:37,068
... Synced and corrected by ChrisKe ...
... www.addic7ed.com ...
41317
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