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1
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,154
[laughter]
2
00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:26,765
- Hey, Simon, we see
you got your fruit delivery.
3
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:29,116
- Yeah, fruits for the fruit.
[laughing]
4
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,813
- Really good one, Allan.
5
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:35,078
- 'Cause you're a queer, fruit.
- Yeah, I got it.
6
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,994
- Hey, we were just wondering
what kind of fruit you were.
7
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,778
- Are you a cumquat?
8
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,128
Cumquat?
[laughter]
9
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,260
- Do you get it?
- Got it.
10
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:45,001
Sort of.
11
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,308
- Or maybe a bumpkin.
12
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:48,918
A gaybum.
- Yeah.
13
00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:51,486
Those are all really good...
Maybe you wanna write them down.
14
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:54,184
- Hey, are you comin' on to me?
- What?!
15
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:55,185
No!
- Why not?
16
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:56,578
Allan's a good-looking guy.
17
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:58,841
- Hey, do you wanna suck me?
- Uh, no!
18
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:02,932
- Why not? If I was gay,
I'd wanna suck me.
19
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:05,978
If I was a girl. C'mon.
20
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,243
Just throw him in closet!
- Okay, okay!
21
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:11,723
Guys--
- Going to the closet, buddy!
22
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:13,986
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
[laughter]
23
00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,989
[laughter]
[grunting]
24
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:20,341
- That was truly...
25
00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:34,746
- Planto...
26
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:37,053
men in...
27
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,316
schola... hilaris...
28
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:45,192
- You're already reading
the magic words,
29
00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,845
aren't you?
- Sort of.
30
00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:49,326
- All right, can you hand me
my blood mop, then?
31
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:50,675
I'm gonna need it later.
32
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:52,808
The one right there
in the bucket?
33
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:54,679
[heavy metal music]
34
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,733
- What have you learned
from observing the boy?
35
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:07,301
- Well, I've learned that he...
36
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,520
masturbates
pretty much constantly.
37
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:14,438
Anytime he thinks
no one's looking, it is on.
38
00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:19,748
All right.
His daily routine includes...
39
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:23,186
smoking cannabis
with his one-armed friend,
40
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:26,233
following
that angry girl around,
41
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:29,192
the aforementioned
masturbatory marathons,
42
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:32,108
and, just the other day,
he saved the school
43
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,762
from a pair of rabid zombies.
44
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:36,591
- Whenever the book strikes,
this Todd seems to be near.
45
00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:38,201
He must be the one.
46
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:41,291
- Uh... no, trust me, guys,
Todd Smith is--
47
00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:44,207
- Silence! Atticus,
48
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:47,993
you must find out
if the boy bears the mark.
49
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,299
- What mark?
50
00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:51,606
- The mark on his penis.
51
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,390
Everyone knows that.
- Sure...
52
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,218
there's...
there's nothing illegal
53
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,828
about a guidance counsellor
54
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:59,744
asking to see
a teenage boy's penis.
55
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,442
- Excellent.
56
00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:03,226
- No, I was...
57
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,315
I was being sarcastic.
It's... totally illegal--
58
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:08,449
- Silence!
59
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:09,928
Be gone.
60
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,323
- Okay... I'll be gone-ing.
61
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:16,544
[girl sobbing]
- Last night,
62
00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:18,328
he said he couldn't live
without me
63
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:20,069
and today he said he could!
64
00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:22,637
- James wouldn't even touch me
in his car this morning!
65
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,161
I even offered to let him
put his you-know-what
66
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:28,208
in my you-know-where.
- You won't believe this.
67
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:30,819
The football team
doesn't want their morning BJs.
68
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:33,474
- What the hell
is going on around here?!!
69
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,171
Argh! Come on!
70
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:42,657
- What we know:
71
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,920
uh, it's called
the Book of Pure Evil.
72
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,487
It's evil -
73
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:48,402
pure evil, actually.
74
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,186
Uh, makes bad things happen,
75
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:53,058
uh, which seem like good things
at first.
76
00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:56,366
- Oh, oh, but then they turn
really, really bad.
77
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:58,890
- Very good, Todd.
78
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:02,024
What we don't know:
where it is, what it is,
79
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,244
what it does, how to stop it,
80
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:06,507
is it alive, who knows about it,
81
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:08,291
and is it magic or science?
82
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,640
- Oh, and...
83
00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:12,513
we don't know what happened
to Jenny's dad.
84
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,732
- Do you know your eyes flash
85
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:16,560
when you think hard?
- What?
86
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:19,346
- They flash.
It's kinda beautiful.
87
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,478
- What are you talking about?
88
00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:22,914
- Flash, flash...
89
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:25,352
It's mesmerizing.
90
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:30,139
[footsteps]
- Okay, new weirdness.
91
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:33,229
Every guy in school
just dumped his girlfriend
92
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,144
this morning.
Every single one.
93
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:37,407
- Maybe they all woke up
this morning and realized
94
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:39,931
their girlfriends
were a bunch of skanks.
95
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:42,499
- Heh! Yeah.
- Oh, what? When I say it,
96
00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,327
it's, like, offensive
and when you say it--
97
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:45,589
- You're so pitiful.
98
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,417
- But don't his eyes flash
99
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,506
when he's being pitiful?
Look.
100
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:51,465
It's like a little bit
of green lightning
101
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,075
reflected in a still pond.
- Dude,
102
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:56,600
will you stop acting so--
- Gay! I have a theory.
103
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:58,341
Based on what Jenny just said
104
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,038
and the bizarre display
that I'm witnessing
105
00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:01,562
right now...
106
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:05,348
I think that every boy
in the school... is now gay.
107
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,697
- Bullshit!
108
00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:09,309
- It fits.
- No, I am not gay.
109
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:21,669
I feel nothing.
110
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:28,502
Nothing.
111
00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:32,462
- Yep, he's gay all right.
112
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:41,428
- Um... this is really tough
for me to talk about.
113
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:44,082
- Yeah, you woke up this morning
and don't like girls anymore.
114
00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:46,128
Okay, there you go,
you're gay now.
115
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,567
Go do your gay things.
116
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,352
[music]
117
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,463
[Atticus, over PA]:
Is Todd Smith out there?!
118
00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:21,076
[beep]
I see you, Todd!
119
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:28,388
Hey, buddy.
120
00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:33,349
Hey, uh, I wanna see your penis.
121
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,438
- You wanna see my what?
122
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,048
- You know.
- I don't.
123
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:39,834
- Ah, we both know
what I'm talking about and...
124
00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:41,792
I want you to show it to me.
- No way.
125
00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,577
- Mr. Smith, don't make me
strip search you.
126
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,361
- What?
- Yeah, I'm allowed.
127
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,495
As a school official,
I'm allowed to conduct...
128
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,106
... a range of...
129
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,805
... strip search techniques.
130
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:56,459
- Did you just say strip search?
131
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,026
- I'm allowed.
132
00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:00,028
- No... you're not?
133
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,423
- Well done. Well done, Todd.
134
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:05,642
Of course I'm not allowed to...
135
00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:07,427
strip search you. But...
136
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:10,865
And if you had allowed me,
you would've failed
137
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,476
the Inappropriate Behaviour
Test.
138
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,783
Okay, next. You pass.
139
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:17,741
Go. Shoo-shoo.
140
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:21,658
I'm ready for my next
Inappropriate Behaviour testee.
141
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:29,057
- Stop looking at my ass.
142
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,494
- Then stop waving it
in my face.
143
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:34,149
- I'm not gay.
- It's okay, you're not alone.
144
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:36,673
- You don't understand.
I dream about Jenny
145
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:38,414
every night.
What am I gonna do now,
146
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,981
dream about going shopping
with her?
147
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:42,505
My whole identity is based
on trying to get in her pants.
148
00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:45,639
- Maybe you should accept
that there's other pants
149
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,684
in the sea, Todd.
- This so isn't fair.
150
00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:53,124
- Hello, Todd.
151
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:56,476
- What... are you doing in here?
- Well, I work here,
152
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:58,216
and I can go wherever I want
153
00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,044
and... I certainly
don't answer to you.
154
00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:02,612
- You're in the boys' change
room and you brought a camera.
155
00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:05,615
- I don't see
where you're going with this.
156
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:07,312
- You're a - no offence -
157
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,967
creepy older guy
in the boys' change room,
158
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:11,534
where we change,
159
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:15,190
and you brought a camera.
- Oh, I-I'm taking pictures...
160
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:18,149
for the yearbook.
- In the boys' change room.
161
00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:20,456
- Where we change.
162
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,548
- Oh. Oh, yeah, well,
right, right! I see your point.
163
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,681
I'm... Uh... Okay, well,
I'll just take
164
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:31,075
a couple of pictures
of you guys in the shower
165
00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:33,251
before I... go and...
166
00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:44,436
[dance music]
167
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,829
[moaning]
168
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:49,790
- What the hell?
169
00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:01,715
You know what, dude?
Let's shower later.
170
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:15,990
- Hey, Simon. I'm just gonna
get straight to the point.
171
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:17,687
Straight to it. Get it?
172
00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:19,602
We're gonna get straight
to the point with you.
173
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:20,951
The straight guy.
174
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:23,214
- This is not what I asked for.
- No, seriously.
175
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:25,521
Me and the girls here,
we just stopped by
176
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,741
to see how the school's
token breeder was doing.
177
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:30,831
- Just get away from me!
- Uh-oh, looks like we got
178
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:33,703
ourselves a homophobe here!
- We've got ways of dealing
179
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:37,359
with homophobes around here.
- Hey, guys!
180
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:42,756
Uh... hey, if you think
this guy's a homophobe,
181
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:45,802
there's some guys
out in the parking lot -
182
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:47,195
straight guys -
183
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,763
and they're calling everyone...
184
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,416
"fags."
185
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,680
- Gay fags!
186
00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:55,986
[screaming]
187
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,380
- Don't even think
about running, straight boy!
188
00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:00,425
We'll be back!
- We're gonna get
189
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:01,818
those pussy-lovers!!
[roaring]
190
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,216
[heavy metal blasting]
191
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:12,829
- I'll show you
traditional family values!
192
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,614
- They'll get tired soon.
193
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:16,920
Whoa!
194
00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:20,315
- Simon, did you find a book?
195
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:23,840
- I wanted them to know
what it's like to be gay.
196
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,233
- Yes, but...
197
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:27,496
was there a book involved?
198
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,717
- It's all my fault.
199
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,458
This is all my fault.
200
00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:36,723
- You're a dead man, Simon!
When I tell everybody
201
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:39,856
who's behind this,
don't even think about running!
202
00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:44,644
- What was that about?
203
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:49,649
- I'd say it's time
to think about running.
204
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:57,221
- What kind of a name
is Book of Pure Evil?
205
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,614
- We didn't name it.
206
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,790
- Who did?
207
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:07,667
I just wanted
all the boys in school
208
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,364
to feel what it's like to be me.
Gay.
209
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,627
But I did not know
it was gonna make me straight.
210
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,760
I like being gay!
211
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,109
I'm good at it.
212
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:17,285
- I suck at it.
- "Suck" at it.
213
00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:20,070
Good one.
It would be hilarious
214
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,812
if you said "blow me" right now.
215
00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:24,205
- Who are you people?
216
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,773
- We fight evil.
- With mixed results.
217
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,339
- Ah, we gotta get
to that meeting.
218
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,167
- What meeting?
- Oh, some of the dumb girls
219
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:32,256
called a meeting.
We're gonna go check it out.
220
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,694
- You guys go see
if the book's in Simon's locker.
221
00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:35,956
- Jenny! Um...
222
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:38,828
even though
they don't turn me on anymore,
223
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,004
I still really like your...
friends.
224
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,094
You know, as... as friends.
225
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:46,227
- Stay gay, Todd.
226
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:47,881
Stay... gay.
227
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:50,840
[sighing]
228
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:52,407
- Whoa.
229
00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:55,889
I'd like to break me off
a piece of that.
230
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:02,722
- I don't know how
and I don't know why,
231
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:04,636
but I do know
232
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,901
this is all
the straight guy's fault. Simon.
233
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:10,468
- He's gotta pay
for what he's done.
234
00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:12,949
- Yeah, that guy's goin' down!
[all]: Yeah!
235
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:15,299
- I'm infiltrating.
Controlling the situation.
236
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:17,693
Let's nail this sucker!
237
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,000
[all]: Yeah! Whoo!
- Yeah!
238
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:22,176
He's a real jerk.
We should send him a message.
239
00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:23,873
[all]: Yeah!
- What kind of message?
240
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:26,223
- Oh, a serious one.
I was thinking...
241
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,443
we should...
242
00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:30,706
egg his locker.
243
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,708
[low mutterings]
- I think we need
244
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,276
to think of something
a little more nasty.
245
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,886
[all]: Yeah.
- How about this?
246
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,889
We find Simon...
247
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:42,283
we pin him down...
248
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,461
... and then...
249
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:49,638
I take a marker -
250
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:51,814
a permanent marker -
251
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,469
and I write "jerk"
on his forehead.
252
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:56,036
That will show him!
253
00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:59,256
- Why don't we just... kill him?
254
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,171
[all]: Yeah!
255
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:02,912
- Yeah, like, kill Simon!
256
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,392
Come on--
- Kill Simon!
257
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:07,961
- Come on, let's get him!
- No, I... I think marker.
258
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:13,009
- Hell hath no fury
like 100 skanks scorned.
259
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:20,190
- See?
260
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:21,844
Right where I left it.
261
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,367
- Hmm. I can't believe
262
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:24,934
it's still there.
- Todd...
263
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:27,937
- We're gonna get you, Simon!
[girls shouting]
264
00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:30,897
- You're so dead, Simon!
[shouting]
265
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:34,030
- He's right there!
266
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:35,423
- Hey, get him!
- Get him!
267
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,860
[indistinct shouting]
268
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:40,602
- Shit! Come on!
269
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:42,256
[shouting]
270
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,477
[heavy metal music]
This way!
271
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:52,135
We found the book,
but it flew away!
272
00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:55,095
- Oh, stupid flying book!
- There they are!!
273
00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,879
[shouting]
- Go! Go, go, go, go!
274
00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:00,013
[shouting]
275
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:12,373
- What did you do?!
- We found Simon!
276
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,027
We made him pay!
277
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:17,682
- That's not Simon.
- That is.
278
00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,423
- Ah! Kill Simon!
279
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:21,773
[all chanting]: Kill Simon!
280
00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:23,863
- Go! Go! Go!
[shouting]
281
00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:26,648
[speed metal music]
282
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,433
Come on!
283
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:34,438
[shouting]
284
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:42,664
We'll hide in the boiler room!
285
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:54,110
[shouting]
- Simon!
286
00:14:58,549 --> 00:15:00,334
- Hey, guys, what's going on?
- We're being chased
287
00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:03,685
by a gay mob and every single
guy in school's turned gay.
288
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:06,470
- It's Gay Day!
- Well, that explains this then.
289
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:08,908
- Uh, I think it's only
affecting the students.
290
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,605
- Forget you ever saw this.
291
00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:13,956
[chanting]: Kill Simon!
Kill Simon!
292
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:17,264
- We need to get outta here.
- Maybe they won't look here.
293
00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:19,962
- Maybe they're down there!
Let's go, boys!
294
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,921
[roaring]
295
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,227
- That won't hold 'em for long!
296
00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:26,926
[chanting]
[banging]
297
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:29,798
- I need to hear a plan.
298
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,974
- Wait, this whole thing
is because of Simon, right?
299
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,541
- Right.
- Well, maybe if we get Simon
300
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:36,065
to go back to being gay,
that'll make everyone else
301
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:39,155
go back to being straight.
- Right, we break the spell.
302
00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:41,592
- Okay, how do we make
somebody gay?
303
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:47,163
- Hey, Simon, do you remember
the good old days
304
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,078
when you were gay?
- I do.
305
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:52,168
But it just makes me feel
really weird now.
306
00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:54,866
- No, no, it's not weird,
it's natural.
307
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:57,043
Everybody's doing it.
[chanting]
308
00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,219
- Get out, straight boy!
309
00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:02,091
- Remember the first time
you, um... uh...
310
00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:03,875
- Uh, did gay stuff.
311
00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:05,834
- Yeah! Yeah!
It was great, wasn't it?
312
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:09,098
Being gay, doing gay stuff
with other gay guys...
313
00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:11,057
in gay places.
314
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,974
[banging]
315
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:17,150
Boink.
- What...?
316
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,152
- I was gay touching you.
317
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,980
- Oh... right.
318
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,330
And it felt great.
- Yeah,
319
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,593
that's real sexy, guys.
- Yeah...
320
00:16:25,636 --> 00:16:27,769
- Can I tell you a secret?
- Sure.
321
00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,292
- About an hour ago Todd said
322
00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:31,903
he thought you were really cute.
- Dude, that was private!
323
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:34,036
- He said your lips
were like two pillows.
324
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,037
- Gross.
325
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,039
[shouting and chanting]
326
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,870
- This isn't working...
327
00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:44,177
- Okay, plan B.
328
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,787
One of us... has to kiss him.
329
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,615
- I'm not gonna kiss a guy
330
00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:50,183
who thinks I'm gross.
- Fine.
331
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,662
I'll do it.
332
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,838
[indistinct shouting]
333
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:02,934
- Are you wearing lip gloss?
334
00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:04,240
- You like?
- Not really.
335
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:06,112
- Bring in the mascot!
336
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:08,244
- Yeah!
- Guys...
337
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:10,594
Come on. Ow! Oh!
338
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,118
Ow!
339
00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:13,641
- I could use some help
over here.
340
00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:17,166
- Okay. But this isn't
because of your beautiful skin.
341
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,865
I'm doing this
to save our lives.
342
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,345
[dreamy music]
343
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:27,176
- Ugh.
344
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:39,188
- Help me...!
345
00:17:40,972 --> 00:17:42,322
Oh!
- This...
346
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:44,150
this is making me more straight.
347
00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:46,239
[muffled shouting]
- They're getting in!
348
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,154
- Open up the door, Simon!
349
00:17:48,197 --> 00:17:50,286
Let's go! I can hear you!
350
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,897
- It's time to take a stand.
- Simon, you breeder!
351
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,334
- Gay or straight,
352
00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:57,119
discrimination
has to be stopped.
353
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:58,468
- We're not leaving!
354
00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:00,166
- Simon...
[sighing]
355
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:02,255
- Don't do it, Simon.
356
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,126
You're only gonna
make things worse.
357
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,128
- Simon is gonna pay!
- I wanna burn him!
358
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,347
- I can't believe he's...
359
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:12,265
- Maybe he'll make things
better.
360
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,225
[music]
361
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:18,140
[shouting]
362
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,489
[shouting]
- Hey!
363
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,143
[sudden silence]
364
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:22,492
I'm Simon and I'm straight.
365
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:25,147
And I'm not afraid
to be who I am.
366
00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:29,978
Straight or gay,
367
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:32,850
we all have the right to walk
down the halls of Crowley High
368
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,243
free of persecution
and harassment.
369
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,944
If we could only look
past our differences
370
00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:41,816
to see what we have in common,
371
00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:43,296
we can work together to make
372
00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:46,125
our school a better place.
Look, I'm sure
373
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,127
each and every one of you
has once felt alone...
374
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:51,521
... unloved,
375
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:54,045
misunderstood.
Let us let our differences
376
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,570
weave us into a rich tapestry
of harmony
377
00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:58,354
instead of tearing us apart
378
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,965
in an angry mob
of bigotry and hate!
379
00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:03,968
- Get him!
380
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:05,579
[roaring]
381
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:09,322
- And this is for reminding me
382
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:12,020
that I'm all alone!
- Ah!!!
383
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,717
- This is for reminding me
I'm unloved!
384
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:15,589
- Ah!!!
385
00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,596
- I didn't see that coming.
- I did.
386
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,380
[maniacal laughter]
- I've got his liver!
387
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:28,558
- Yeah!
- Whoo! Whoo!
388
00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:35,391
[rock music]
389
00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:43,486
- So you failed.
390
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:46,185
Which is what you do.
- I did not fail.
391
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:49,449
It's not my fault
my camera was confiscated.
392
00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:51,102
And destroyed.
393
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,192
By the way,
I still have the receipt,
394
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,976
so if-if you could reimburse me
395
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:56,325
out of petty cash--
- Silence!
396
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:59,328
What am I looking at?
- Uh, it's a sketch.
397
00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:01,591
Of the boy's penis.
398
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,205
- Why does his penis
have lightning around it?
399
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:09,033
- It's... pubic hair?
400
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,604
- This is a sketch
of your penis.
401
00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:17,128
- It is not.
402
00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:19,130
How... how would you even know
if it was?
403
00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:21,350
- Do not think for a second,
Atticus,
404
00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:23,265
that we do not watch you.
405
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,006
- Who watches my penis?
406
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,445
Oh...
407
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,752
And I thought I was low man
on the totem pole.
408
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,884
- His job
is to watch your penis.
409
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:36,409
Your job is to bring us
the book!
410
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:41,675
- Wh-whatever you say,
Your Evilness. Yes.
411
00:20:44,895 --> 00:20:46,245
- What an asshole.
412
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:50,727
[Hannah]: So killing Simon
broke the spell--
413
00:20:50,771 --> 00:20:52,120
[Curtis]: Yeah...
414
00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:53,817
- But what else
have we learned today?
415
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:56,255
- I've learned that the teachers
don't seem to care
416
00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:58,169
what goes on around here.
417
00:20:58,213 --> 00:20:59,519
- Hey, Jenny?
418
00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:02,304
I think I need
to take the gay test again.
419
00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:04,872
- Not on your life, Todd.
420
00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:07,135
- I'll give you the test.
- Nah.
421
00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:08,658
That's okay, Hannah.
422
00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:12,314
[sighing]
423
00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:13,881
Man, I can't believe
424
00:21:13,924 --> 00:21:17,014
the most action I've ever gotten
was with you.
425
00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:18,929
- If it's any consolation, Todd,
426
00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:20,844
you're a pretty good kisser.
427
00:21:20,888 --> 00:21:22,281
- Really? You think so?
428
00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:30,593
- You're a way better kisser
than Allan.
429
00:21:30,637 --> 00:21:32,291
- Oh, tell me about it.
430
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,162
[heavy metal]
30303
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