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1
00:00:08,617 --> 00:00:10,184
[soft music]
2
00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:12,316
[approaching footsteps]
3
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,275
- Are those your dead parents?
4
00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:17,017
Sure don't look like they were
groundbreaking scientists.
5
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,670
Frankly, Hannah,
you shouldn't spend
6
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:21,238
so much time in the science lab.
7
00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:24,111
This is why you have no friends.
- Friends are overrated.
8
00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:26,896
I have one true love
and that love is science.
9
00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:28,680
- Ah, but science
doesn't love you, Hannah.
10
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:31,292
It doesn't even like you.
It killed your parents.
11
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:34,599
No offence, Hannah,
but you're twice as reckless
12
00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:36,253
as they were
with half the talent.
13
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:37,907
- Then I'll try harder,
I'll try much--
14
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,604
- Don't see it happening,
Hannah.
15
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,223
- We'll show them, Orville 12.
16
00:00:58,145 --> 00:00:59,842
Fly free, little one.
17
00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:12,985
[zapping]
18
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,603
[demonic soundscape]
19
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,963
- Shouldn't we be looking
for this book thingy?
20
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,356
- Are you kidding, man?
21
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,360
I can barely find my feet.
22
00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:41,188
[heavy metal music]
23
00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:50,458
Jenny...
24
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,547
what do I gotta do to get you
25
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:54,984
to go out with me?
- Not gonna happen, Todd.
26
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:59,380
- Okay, well, since we're gonna
be spending a lot time together
27
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:00,772
looking for the book,
28
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:03,166
can't we just call that a date?
29
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:04,733
- Whatever gets you off, buddy.
30
00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:07,475
- Guess who's dating Jenny.
31
00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:09,129
- Awesome.
- Okay, listen.
32
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:12,175
We have to the book
before it hurts anybody else.
33
00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:13,568
It's important
34
00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:15,352
that we keep this our secret,
okay?
35
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,267
We don't want it
getting into the wrong hands.
36
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:19,269
- All right,
I'm sure you're all excited
37
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,750
about this year's science fair.
38
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:24,144
[students groaning]
39
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:27,321
As you're well aware,
you will be assigned partners.
40
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:30,324
Wanda Winterbanks
and Jasmine Madison,
41
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,326
my two best students.
[girls]: Yes!
42
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:35,242
- Hmm, I wasn't aware you got
extra credit for hand jobs.
43
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:37,113
- And now you are.
44
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,680
- Good luck, skank!
45
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:41,900
- You don't stand a chance
against our baking soda volcano,
46
00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:45,339
bitch-face.
- Jenny Kolinsky
47
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,950
and Curtis Weaver.
[boys]: What?
48
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,386
- Hannah B. Williams
and Todd Smith.
49
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:51,301
Marcus Romero
50
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:54,174
and Anthony Baba...
- Over here, Todd.
51
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:56,350
- Hannah...?
- Todd.
52
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,178
Over here, Todd.
53
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:07,709
- I bet there's something
in here
54
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:10,059
that's better
than a baking soda volcano.
55
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:13,062
'Course, it all depends
what you want to study, too.
56
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:15,934
Oh, what about this?
We could make a homunculus.
57
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:21,766
Mr. Farley likes teamwork.
It's a meeting of the minds.
58
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:23,377
Two working as one.
59
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,117
In union. Together.
60
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:27,250
[beep]
[PA]: Todd Smith,
61
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,470
please report to the
guidance counsellor's office.
62
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:32,342
We need to talk about your...
63
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,735
recent emotional problems.
64
00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:35,302
[laughter]
65
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:36,955
In private.
66
00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:45,529
As your... guidance counsellor -
which is what I am -
67
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:49,490
it's my job to help you
with problems.
68
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,405
- What kind of problems?
69
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:54,495
- Let me think. How about, um...
like when-you-nearly-destroyed-
70
00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:56,975
the-entire-school-
during-the-Battle-of-the-Bands
71
00:03:57,019 --> 00:04:00,109
kind of problems?
You know, Todd,
72
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,632
I used to be a lot like you.
73
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:04,287
Lost, angry, sexually confused--
74
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:07,029
- I'm not sexually confused.
- Let me put forth
75
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:10,859
a purely hypothetical situation.
Let's say... I was you, okay?
76
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,861
And let's say I...
77
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,471
I dunno,
78
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:17,257
found a book of pure evil.
79
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,739
- And... you think
80
00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:24,307
I have this...
81
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:25,917
"book of pure evil."
82
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:27,571
- Hypothetically.
83
00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:30,008
You know, if I had this book,
I'd wanna give it
84
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:31,662
to someone I trusted,
someone who's guiding me,
85
00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:33,447
counselling me.
86
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,840
Guidance-counselling me.
87
00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:38,234
- I dunno...
what you're talking about.
88
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:42,151
- Where's the book?!
- I don't have it anymore!
89
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:44,240
We tried to destroy it
and it just got away.
90
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,374
Wait. How do you know
about the book?
91
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,158
The...
92
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,378
hypotheticalbook.
93
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:54,163
- Do you know
what this sounds like to me?
94
00:04:56,861 --> 00:05:00,082
I think you made up
this Book of Pure Evil,
95
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,388
this fantasy book,
96
00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:03,433
because you have
a delusional drug problem.
97
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:06,436
If I was you, I wouldn't mention
any of this to anybody.
98
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,482
Word gets around,
I would have no choice
99
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:12,050
but to institutionalize you
with the rest of the crazies.
100
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:14,357
Big, horny crazies.
101
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,054
Now, shoo, Todd.
102
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,579
Mr. Murphy
has important business to do.
103
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:21,538
You're not the only
troubled teen at Crowley High.
104
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:26,456
[speed dialling]
- Hello?
105
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,502
- Yeah, the boy
doesn't have the book.
106
00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:31,635
- Todd! Um, do you wanna
meet up after school
107
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:35,117
to work on our science project?
- Yeah, sure, whatever.
108
00:05:42,037 --> 00:05:43,865
Hey! Hey!
109
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:47,085
Why the hell did you assholes
turn me on to that book?!
110
00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:48,913
- Ho-ho! So you found it?
111
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:51,176
- Oh, I did more than find it.
112
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:54,745
It possessed me and I nearly
killed the whole school!
113
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:57,618
- Tends to happen when you use
the Book of Pure Evil.
114
00:05:57,661 --> 00:05:59,359
- You knew there'd be
consequences, little dude.
115
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,578
- No, I didn't!
- You should've... loser.
116
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,363
- Look, dude,
117
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:04,799
you don't control that book,
118
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:07,541
that book's
gonna control you, man.
119
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:11,327
- I don't even have it anymore.
- Just wait, little dude.
120
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,547
It'll come back.
Just like German herpes.
121
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,375
- Yeah, and if you don't control
German herpes,
122
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,986
German herpes will control you.
- I have had it
123
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:20,510
with you assholes
and-and your mystical bullshit!
124
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:22,817
The book is not my problem!
125
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:24,819
[laughing]
126
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:27,517
- He'll be back.
127
00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:33,610
- Very good.
128
00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,525
Very, very good.
129
00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:37,135
[giggling]
I'm feeling the heat.
130
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:40,704
What's your science project,
Hannah?
131
00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:42,532
- I'm making a homunculus.
132
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:45,448
- A homunculus.
You're making a homunculus?
133
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,147
Hannah,
134
00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:51,280
as not only your teacher,
135
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:54,196
but as a respected member
of the scientific community,
136
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:57,155
I hope wherever your parents
are right now, they can't see
137
00:06:57,199 --> 00:07:00,071
what an absolute fool
you're making of yourself.
138
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:01,638
[chuckling]
A homunculus!
139
00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:02,987
Homunculus.
[girls giggling]
140
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:05,555
[teacher laughing]
- What's a homunculus?
141
00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:06,991
- I have no idea,
142
00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:09,603
but I'll tell you girls
all about it over dinner.
143
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,609
Homunculus!
[laughing]
144
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,569
[door closing]
145
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:29,231
- Partum...
146
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:31,451
creatura...
147
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:33,017
of...
148
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:34,802
meus...
149
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:36,412
votum!
150
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,461
[gasping]
151
00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:43,288
[moaning]
152
00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:48,468
- Now that's what I call...
teamwork!
153
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,470
[laughter]
154
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:53,037
- Thanks, Mr. Farley.
155
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:55,518
[moaning]
- Now...
156
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:56,824
come on,
157
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:59,348
I wanna see
you two make out.
158
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:01,568
- You're drunk.
- And you're not drunk enough.
159
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:04,745
You wanna see my volcano?
It's ready to erupt!
160
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,398
[groaning]
[glass breaking]
161
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:07,791
Who's there?
162
00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,401
[moaning]
163
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:11,447
[panting]
164
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,189
- You're too drunk.
Come on, Jasmine, let's go.
165
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:15,538
[Mr. Farley laughing]
166
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,714
He can never perform
when he's drunk.
167
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,629
- Can you believe
he just said that?
168
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:22,023
That is so gross.
- What a piece of shit.
169
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:23,677
[moaning]
[munchkin-like cackling]
170
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,767
What the hell is that?
[maniacal laughter]
171
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:29,726
What? Homunculus?! No!
172
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,336
No! Oh, my God!
- Yeah!
173
00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:36,559
[screaming]
174
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,474
[screaming echoing]
175
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:45,612
- It has begun anew.
176
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:50,442
- What is going on, kids?
177
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,619
Holy...
178
00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:54,011
Jupiter shit.
179
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,101
- He's bleeding everywhere!
180
00:08:57,145 --> 00:09:00,452
Oh, my God,
he ruined our project!
181
00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:02,019
- All the trees are broken.
182
00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:04,761
[dance music ring tone]
183
00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:07,155
- Yes. Yes...
184
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:08,765
- Atticus,
come here immediately.
185
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:12,290
- B-but I-I'm--
- Atticus, where are you?
186
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:15,598
Are you listening to me?!
- Yes!
187
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,861
- What the...?
- Don't waste my time!
188
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:19,950
- We'll continue
this conversation later.
189
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,736
- We weren't having
a conversation.
190
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:25,390
- Atticus!
Are you on your way yet?!!
191
00:09:25,434 --> 00:09:26,740
- Todd, check it out.
192
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,393
I think he's dead.
193
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,527
- Hi, Todd.
- Holy shit!
194
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:35,139
- Apparently, Mr. Farley slipped
in a pool of his own blood
195
00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:37,620
after he carved a pentagram
on his forehead.
196
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,796
He fell right onto
the baking soda volcano.
197
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,929
But they didn't cancel
the science fair.
198
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:44,148
And thank God,
'cause our project
199
00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:45,933
turned out really great.
[rumbling]
200
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:48,588
- You might wanna step back...
[screaming]
201
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,417
'Cause it's gonna blow.
202
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,295
- Beat it, twerp.
203
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:05,169
The pentagram
on Mr. Farley's forehead,
204
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:09,434
it's the same as the cover
of the Book of Pure Evil.
205
00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:12,960
- So? Look, just because
some teacher carved a pentagram
206
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:15,658
into his own forehead and then
slipped in his own blood,
207
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:18,052
that doesn't mean it has
anything to do with the book,
208
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:19,488
or with me!
209
00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:28,628
- You must follow
the path of carnage.
210
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,194
Where there's death,
destruction and chaos,
211
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:31,761
there you will find the book.
212
00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:34,808
- That's what I was doing
when you called me.
213
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:37,898
I was atthe scene of death,
destruction and chaos
214
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:40,770
when you told me to get over
here just so you can tell me
215
00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:43,817
to seek out the scene of death,
destruction and chaos.
216
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:46,428
Which is where I was!
- Control yourself, Atticus!
217
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:50,040
The Book of Pure Evil
218
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,869
feeds on uncontrollable emotions
and fears.
219
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:54,131
High school...
220
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:56,046
is the perfect environment
221
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:58,614
for the book to thrive.
222
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,964
- Mm.
- Do you know of any
223
00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:03,184
emotionally unstable students
at Crowley High?
224
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:06,578
- W-w-we're talking teenagers
here, right?.
225
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,450
They're all emotionally
unstable.
226
00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:10,713
If they weren't,
I wouldn't have a job,
227
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:12,759
and then you'd be shit out
of luck?
228
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,630
- Watch your tongue, Atticus,
229
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,589
or I'll cut it out
and make you...
230
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,504
eat it!
231
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,855
- Forgive me, Your Evilness.
232
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:24,422
- Be gone.
233
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:27,904
- Be gone.
Always with the "be gone."
234
00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:29,471
[thunder crashing]
235
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,825
- No.
236
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,174
No...!
237
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,004
[munchkin-like cackling]
238
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:42,789
- Mm-mm...
239
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:53,538
- Oh...
240
00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:55,236
yeah...
241
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:56,890
[sexy music]
242
00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,284
[laughing softly]
♪ Oh oh
243
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:03,070
♪ Oh oh
Oh...
244
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,767
Jenny...
245
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:08,728
♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪
246
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:10,468
[screeching]
[Jenny shrieking]
247
00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:13,254
No!
- Ah!
248
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:14,777
[cackling]
249
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,561
- Todd?
250
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:19,260
- No!!!
- No!!!
251
00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:21,697
[screaming]
- Ah!
252
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,572
- What the...?
253
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,488
[school bell ringing]
[mixed chatter]
254
00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:33,622
- Jenny! Oh.
255
00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,580
The science fair's
about to start.
256
00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:38,061
You got our project?
- Screw the science fair.
257
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:41,412
Where's your idiot friend?
- I haven't seen Todd all day.
258
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:43,937
- Well, let's go find him.
- Hey. Hey! Hey!
259
00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:49,856
- Oh. Hey, Jimmy.
260
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:53,642
I was just kinda, you know...
261
00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:54,948
hiding.
262
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,906
- What are you hidin' from?
263
00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:58,255
- Well... I'm kinda... like...
264
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,910
avoiding a girl.
265
00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:02,520
- What do you wanna do that for?
266
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:04,566
[sighing]
- Well, I had this dream, right?
267
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:08,700
And I was, like, quick and tiny
and I, like, tried to kill her.
268
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,659
And then I had another dream
269
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:12,617
where I killed
the science teacher.
270
00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:14,968
And then that dream came true
and then...
271
00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:18,580
I kinda feel like... like it's
my fault or something. I--
272
00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:20,974
- And if it is your fault,
273
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,976
what are you gonna do
about it?
274
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:25,065
- Well, I'm scared
that if I do anything,
275
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,588
I'm just gonna
make things worse.
276
00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:29,547
- Look, doing something
sometimes makes things worse,
277
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:32,507
but doing nothing
always makes things worse.
278
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:35,727
- Okay, yeah, but what if I put
Jenny in danger?
279
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:38,382
- Dude, chicks love danger.
And dudes who aren't afraid
280
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,863
to face it. And remember,
if she's not in danger,
281
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:44,040
be sure to put her in danger.
- Put her in danger. Got it.
282
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:46,608
- Oh, and don't forget
the saving her part, all right?
283
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,871
You do that, and it's candy
in the pants, baby.
284
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,525
- Okay.
- Play it smooth.
285
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,744
- Okay. Thanks, Jimmy.
- All right.
286
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,355
Always here to help, buddy.
287
00:13:58,446 --> 00:14:00,970
- Todd!
288
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,627
I finished
our science fair project.
289
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,195
- Yeah, that's totally great.
Have you seen Jenny?
290
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:11,154
[munchkin-like grunting]
291
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,592
Wh-what've you got there?
292
00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:16,159
- Our science fair project.
293
00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:17,900
- There you are!
294
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,989
[grunting]
295
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:23,166
What the hell is that?
296
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:25,908
- Behold...
297
00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:27,605
the homunculus.
298
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:31,914
[snarling]
299
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,917
- That thing tried to kill me
last night!
300
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,180
- Ew...!
301
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:39,922
Holy crap, that thing is ugly.
- Ah!
302
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:42,011
- Shhh-shhh-shhh.
- Uh, it...
303
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:44,144
it looks just like you, Todd.
304
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,234
[Jenny screaming]
- Whoa!
305
00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:49,192
Oh!
[munchkin-like cackling]
306
00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,116
[cackling]
Hey!
307
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,950
Ha-ha-ha! Oh.
308
00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:14,043
[both]: Ew...
309
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,135
- Ew!
- C'mere, c'mere.
310
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,137
[creature moaning]
- Get that tiny Todd!
311
00:15:21,181 --> 00:15:23,009
- Ah!
[Todd laughing]
312
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:25,098
- Don't even think about it.
313
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,622
Years of jerking off
have given me an iron grip.
314
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:31,060
Ah! Oh!
It's pissing in my mouth!
315
00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,062
- Ew!
- I'll save you, Todd!
316
00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:35,935
[screaming]
317
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:37,762
[speed metal music]
318
00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:39,112
- Kill it!
319
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,418
- Where's the book?!
- Where's what?
320
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:45,118
- The Book of Pure Evil,
you whiny little nerd!
321
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,207
- Kill it! Kill it! Ah...!
322
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:49,209
- No! No, no! No!
323
00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:52,168
[cackling]
[grunting]
324
00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:58,783
[laughing maniacally]
325
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:02,831
You sent Tiny Todd
to kill Mr. Farley.
326
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,267
- I don't know
what you're talking about.
327
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:05,355
- Liar!
328
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:06,791
- I think she's telling
the truth.
329
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,837
And could we please stop
calling it "Tiny Todd"?
330
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:13,059
- Shut up.
And then you sent it to kill me,
331
00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:14,930
because...
332
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,453
you're jealous
333
00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:19,021
that Todd has a crush on me.
- I'm not jealous.
334
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:20,805
I've dedicated my life
to science.
335
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,285
I don't have time for boys.
336
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:25,245
- Then why does it look
like Todd, Hannah?
337
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:29,249
- Does it?
- What of Hannah doesn't realize
338
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:31,033
she has a crush on Todd?
339
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:32,382
What if this... homunculus
340
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:35,211
is acting out
what she really wants,
341
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:37,300
but is too afraid
to admit to herself?
342
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:39,172
- The homunculus...
343
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:42,262
is the personification
of her subconscious desires.
344
00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:45,134
Wow, that's why
it looks like Todd.
345
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:47,180
- Don't we all want
a little Todd for ourselves?
346
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:49,008
- I have a plan.
347
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:50,705
It might be...
348
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,185
a little bit dangerous
349
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,100
for one of us...
350
00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:58,800
Now, I'm not gonna say
who it's gonna be dangerous for,
351
00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:02,369
but no matter who it is...
352
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:07,983
... I promise I won't let
anything happen to you.
353
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,903
- This plan sucks.
354
00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:18,515
And I don't see why
I have to be tied to this chair!
355
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:20,909
- Just trust me and read
what's on the cards, okay?
356
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:27,002
- "Hi, Todd. Do you wanna work
on our science project
357
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,351
today after school?"
358
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,745
- "I can't.
I've got a date with Jenny."
359
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:36,142
- This isn't working!
360
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:39,145
- Just... read the next card.
361
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:43,932
- "Todd, why do you wanna
spend quality time with Jenny
362
00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:45,455
and not with me?"
363
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:49,198
- "Jenny has a refreshing
personality and I admire
364
00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:51,331
all her great qualities."
365
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,248
[Jenny]: Guys?!
366
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,163
My neck's itchy!
367
00:17:57,206 --> 00:17:58,599
- Okay...
368
00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:00,601
new plan.
369
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:05,606
I can't hang out with you today
370
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:08,130
and spend quality time with you,
371
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:11,612
because I'm gonna be spending
quantity time with Jenny.
372
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:17,226
And we're gonna be making out.
373
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,446
In the parking lot. A lot.
374
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:21,361
[thumping]
375
00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,406
[cackling]
376
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,147
- Guys...?!
377
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:28,281
- After we make out,
we're gonna get buck naked.
378
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,631
And our buck-naked bodies...
- Guys?!
379
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:33,721
- ... are gonna wrap around
each other, like this...
380
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:36,027
[grunting]
... and then we're gonna, like,
381
00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:37,594
start doing it.
382
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:41,163
And it's gonna be all hot
and sweaty and stinky and then,
383
00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,904
she's gonna be, like...
384
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:45,036
[high voice]: "Oh, yes, Todd,
that's the best."
385
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,127
And I'm gonna be, like,
"Oh, Jenny,
386
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,651
"I'm so glad I'm doing you
387
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:53,219
instead of doing Hannah."
- Guys?!
388
00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:55,395
- And Jenny's gonna be, like,
"Oh, yes!
389
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:57,832
"Please don't stop.
Please don't stop
390
00:18:57,875 --> 00:19:00,226
doing that to me."
"I like your boobs. They feel...
391
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:03,185
squishy."
And I'm gonna be, like,
392
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,187
"Oh, yeah, that's right, Jenny."
393
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:08,321
"Oh! Oh! I'm so glad
394
00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:11,193
"you're doing me, yeah.
395
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:14,762
Squish them some more
while I do this to you."
396
00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:18,635
"Oh, Jenny, that's the best."
"Oh! Don't stop!
397
00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,637
"Hannah has glasses
and she's weird.
398
00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:23,336
"Oh... Oh, my God.
399
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:24,554
Don't stop."
- No!
400
00:19:24,598 --> 00:19:26,513
No! No! No!
401
00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:28,210
[screaming]
402
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:31,126
[homunculus gasping]
- Goodbye, Tiny Todd.
403
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,475
[screaming]
404
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,266
[soft music]
405
00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:59,241
- So I guess my plan saved you
from mortal danger, huh?
406
00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:01,809
- Is that what you did?
- Yeah.
407
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,464
Aren't you gonna...
408
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,683
you know...
409
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:09,686
- No, I don't know.
What do you want?
410
00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:12,341
- Mm... Candy in the pants?
411
00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:17,651
- I don't know what that means.
And even if I did,
412
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:19,305
I'd still be grossed out.
413
00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:21,481
- Do you guys realize
that this creature's
414
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,265
cellular structure
has no cohesive pattern?
415
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:24,658
If I can gather
enough research--
416
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:26,964
- This is a waste of time!
We need to figure out
417
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:28,705
where the homunculus
hid the book.
418
00:20:28,749 --> 00:20:31,839
- Why do you need
to find that book so badly?
419
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,277
- Because of my dad.
420
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:38,367
He's a journalist
who went missing last year,
421
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:40,239
and after he vanished,
422
00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:42,589
I started
going through his stuff
423
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:45,244
and I found this old photo
that he'd hidden.
424
00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:53,034
It's the only clue I have
to find him.
425
00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:56,516
- We'll help you find your dad,
Jenny.
426
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,735
- Hannah.
427
00:20:58,779 --> 00:21:02,217
We could really, really use
someone with your science smarts
428
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:05,351
in our quest to vanquish evil.
- Really? I can be in your gang?
429
00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:09,616
- We have a gang?!
- The Book of Pure Evil Gang.
430
00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:12,271
Till death to us part.
- Yeah!
431
00:21:14,925 --> 00:21:16,405
- Yeah!
- Ew.
432
00:21:16,449 --> 00:21:18,277
- Ah, Curtis.
433
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:23,412
- What do we do now?
- We make up team handshakes.
434
00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:25,675
- Oh! Or we decide
on our gang colours.
435
00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:27,111
- Yeah!
436
00:21:27,155 --> 00:21:29,331
- Or maybe we could look
for clues?
437
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:32,247
- Yeah... we could do that.
438
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:35,076
[heavy metal music]
31227
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