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1
00:12:42,001 --> 00:12:43,000
>> Hi, Dan.
2
00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:44,000
Did I miss anything?
3
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:45,000
>> Yeah, that's right.
4
00:12:45,001 --> 00:12:46,000
>> Just the anthem.
5
00:12:46,001 --> 00:12:48,000
>> Who's Malcolm Jamel Warner?
6
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,000
>> You know who that is.
7
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:50,000
>> Beer?
8
00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:51,000
>> Oh, real beer.
9
00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:52,000
>> But give me one of these.
10
00:12:52,001 --> 00:12:53,000
>> Oh, no, you don't.
11
00:12:53,001 --> 00:12:55,000
>> It's light beer for you.
12
00:12:55,001 --> 00:12:56,000
>> Gay, isn't it?
13
00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:58,000
>> I'm tired of drinking that rainwater.
14
00:12:58,001 --> 00:13:00,000
Can I have half of one of these?
15
00:13:00,001 --> 00:13:01,000
>> All right.
16
00:13:01,001 --> 00:13:02,000
>> But no cake tonight.
17
00:13:02,001 --> 00:13:04,000
>> Who are you, the president?
18
00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:07,000
>> So, Martin, how's it hanging?
19
00:13:07,001 --> 00:13:08,000
>> I'm not sure.
20
00:13:08,001 --> 00:13:09,000
>> Fine, thanks.
21
00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:11,000
>> We're going to have these again?
22
00:13:11,001 --> 00:13:12,000
>> Yeah.
23
00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:14,000
Mickey, you got a fuzzball on your face.
24
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:15,000
>> What?
25
00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:17,000
>> You got a fuzzball on your face.
26
00:13:17,001 --> 00:13:19,000
What, you got another one in your ear?
27
00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:20,000
>> Where?
28
00:13:20,001 --> 00:13:21,000
>> No.
29
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,000
>> I get it.
30
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,000
>> On the other side.
31
00:13:24,001 --> 00:13:26,000
>> Now come close to me, wifey.
32
00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:28,000
Come close to me.
33
00:13:28,001 --> 00:13:31,000
>> So, Roger, you ever been married?
34
00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:33,000
>> No, I'm not the marrying kind.
35
00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:35,000
>> Oh, I'm not the marrying kind.
36
00:13:35,001 --> 00:13:37,000
>> Oh, I'm not the marrying kind.
37
00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:40,000
>> Oh, Martin, guess what we did today?
38
00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:43,000
>> You can't wait another word.
39
00:13:43,001 --> 00:13:45,000
You can't wait another word.
40
00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:47,000
>> Can't imagine.
41
00:13:47,001 --> 00:13:48,000
>> I bought him some slippers?
42
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:50,000
>> No, after that.
43
00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:51,000
>> The golf.
44
00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:52,000
>> You're dead.
45
00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:54,000
That's like an old lady.
46
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,989
>> This guy spent so
much time in the sand
47
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,000
trap, we might as well
go under the beach.
48
00:13:58,001 --> 00:14:00,000
>> Don't you listen to
this lousy cocksucker?
49
00:14:00,001 --> 00:14:02,000
>> What was that word again?
50
00:14:02,001 --> 00:14:05,000
>> No, that's a great
place you got here, Roger.
51
00:14:05,001 --> 00:14:08,000
How many bedrooms?
52
00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:09,000
>> Just one.
53
00:14:09,001 --> 00:14:11,000
>> But this is a pullout.
54
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:13,000
>> No, it's not a pullout.
55
00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:15,000
>> Hey, I'm finishing this entire beer.
56
00:14:15,001 --> 00:14:16,000
Try and stop me.
57
00:14:16,001 --> 00:14:17,000
>> It's up to you.
58
00:14:17,001 --> 00:14:19,000
I'm not the one who's
got to get into your pants.
59
00:14:19,001 --> 00:14:21,000
>> Can I use your bathroom?
60
00:14:21,001 --> 00:14:22,000
>> No, down the hall.
61
00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:24,000
Knock yourself out.
62
00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:26,000
>> Grabowski's on the mound.
63
00:14:26,001 --> 00:14:28,000
>> Whoa.
64
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,000
>> Didn't he pitch yesterday?
65
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,000
>> Not last week.
66
00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:32,000
He's beating that guy
with the bass and money.
67
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:38,000
[music]
68
00:14:38,001 --> 00:14:39,000
>> Man and wife?
69
00:14:39,001 --> 00:14:40,000
>> Nope.
70
00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:42,000
Both men.
71
00:14:42,001 --> 00:14:46,000
[music]
72
00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:56,000
[music]
73
00:14:56,001 --> 00:15:02,000
[music]
74
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,000
>> Very gay.
75
00:15:03,001 --> 00:15:04,000
Fuchsia and blue.
76
00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:05,000
>> Blue and who?
77
00:15:05,001 --> 00:15:12,000
[music]
78
00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:13,000
>> Me?
79
00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:16,000
I'm an oil man.
80
00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:18,000
A very unusual oil man.
81
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:22,000
[music]
82
00:15:22,001 --> 00:15:25,000
>> Well, wherever there's smoke,
there must be somebody smoking.
83
00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:30,000
[music]
84
00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:32,000
>> Wait till you see the baby's room.
85
00:15:32,001 --> 00:15:35,000
We've got Roy Lichtenstein
doing a mural on the ceiling.
86
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,000
>> No kidding.
87
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:39,000
>> And Richards bringing back a crib
in an Aboriginal tribe hand-carved from
88
00:15:39,001 --> 00:15:40,000
back bush cork.
89
00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:41,000
>> Jeez, I'm sure that's lovely.
90
00:15:41,001 --> 00:15:43,000
>> You know, they say the
luster sparks creativity in the--
91
00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:46,000
>> Judith, could you just shut up, please?
92
00:15:46,001 --> 00:15:48,000
>> Excuse me?
93
00:15:48,001 --> 00:15:49,000
>> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you know.
94
00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:51,000
I'm just a little on edge about my father.
95
00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:54,000
[inaudible]
96
00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:56,012
>> Martin, I understand
that you're feeling
97
00:15:56,024 --> 00:15:58,000
a little excluded
from your father's life.
98
00:15:58,001 --> 00:16:00,000
>> No, no, no, no, that's not quite it.
99
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,000
>> No, I think it is.
100
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:04,000
I mean, your parents have split
up and they're finding new interests
101
00:16:04,001 --> 00:16:06,000
and then naturally you're
going to be feeling a little jealous.
102
00:16:06,001 --> 00:16:08,000
>> Believe me, believe
me, I'm not feeling jealous.
103
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,000
>> Well, that's what I'm sensing.
104
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:13,000
>> Well, since this,
Judith, my father's gay.
105
00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:14,000
>> What?
106
00:16:14,001 --> 00:16:15,000
>> He's gay.
107
00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:17,000
My dad's gay.
108
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:19,000
And his boyfriend, Roger,
you know, he's gay too.
109
00:16:19,001 --> 00:16:20,000
>> Okay, hold on here.
110
00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:23,000
Just back up a second.
111
00:16:23,001 --> 00:16:24,000
When did he tell you this?
112
00:16:24,001 --> 00:16:25,000
>> He didn't tell me.
113
00:16:25,001 --> 00:16:26,889
I had to figure it
out for myself from
114
00:16:26,901 --> 00:16:29,000
the light beer and
then the fuzzball and--
115
00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:31,000
>> A very unusual old man.
116
00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:32,000
>> Believe me.
117
00:16:32,001 --> 00:16:33,000
>> He's gay.
118
00:16:33,001 --> 00:16:36,000
>> Okay, okay, let's just
say for a minute that he is gay.
119
00:16:36,001 --> 00:16:37,000
>> Now don't say that.
120
00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:38,000
Don't say that.
121
00:16:38,001 --> 00:16:39,000
Why did you have to say that?
122
00:16:39,001 --> 00:16:40,000
>> What do you want me to say?
123
00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:41,000
Do you want me to say that he's not gay?
124
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:44,000
>> Yes, yes, yes I do
because he can't be gay.
125
00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:45,000
You know why?
126
00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:46,939
Because he's my
father and if my father
127
00:16:46,951 --> 00:16:49,000
were gay, then I
wouldn't be here, right?
128
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:52,000
And I know I'm here because I
can do this and this and this and this.
129
00:16:52,001 --> 00:16:53,000
>> These shoes are sweet.
130
00:16:53,001 --> 00:16:54,000
>> Sure.
131
00:16:54,001 --> 00:16:59,000
>> Rotten, I think you
need to speak to your father.
132
00:16:59,001 --> 00:17:06,000
And don't you ever tell me to shut up.
133
00:17:06,001 --> 00:17:18,000
>> And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the moment we have all been waiting.
134
00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:19,000
Great.
135
00:17:19,001 --> 00:17:20,000
>> You're here.
136
00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:21,000
Let's eat.
137
00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:22,000
>> Dad?
138
00:17:22,001 --> 00:17:25,000
>> Is Roger here?
139
00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:28,000
>> No, he's still at the track.
140
00:17:28,001 --> 00:17:29,000
>> Good.
141
00:17:29,001 --> 00:17:33,000
Because there's something
I -- can we sit down?
142
00:17:33,001 --> 00:17:35,000
>> We'll be sitting down in the restaurant.
143
00:17:35,001 --> 00:17:36,000
>> No, no, come on, dad.
144
00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:38,000
I just want to talk.
145
00:17:38,001 --> 00:17:39,000
>> Fine.
146
00:17:39,001 --> 00:17:41,000
He wants to talk?
147
00:17:41,001 --> 00:17:42,000
Fine.
148
00:17:42,001 --> 00:17:43,000
Talk.
149
00:17:43,001 --> 00:17:44,000
Knock yourself out.
150
00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:51,000
>> Dad?
151
00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:54,000
>> I hope he doesn't
pay a lot for that jacket.
152
00:17:54,001 --> 00:17:55,000
>> Dad?
153
00:17:55,001 --> 00:18:02,000
>> I was just wondering, now, are
you -- going to be getting your own place
154
00:18:02,001 --> 00:18:03,000
pretty soon?
155
00:18:03,001 --> 00:18:04,000
>> Let's go.
156
00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:05,000
I'm starving.
157
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,000
>> Okay, dad.
158
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:10,000
I got to ask you, you know,
and I'm going to ask you.
159
00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:13,000
Are you -- is Roger?
160
00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:15,000
Are you and Roger -- >> It's 6.30.
161
00:18:15,001 --> 00:18:17,000
We're never going to get a table.
162
00:18:17,001 --> 00:18:18,000
>> Dad?
163
00:18:18,001 --> 00:18:19,000
Are you gay?
164
00:18:19,001 --> 00:18:22,000
>> No, I'm not gay.
165
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:25,000
>> Geez, dad.
166
00:18:25,001 --> 00:18:27,000
I'm sorry.
167
00:18:27,001 --> 00:18:30,000
You know, I was just -- I don't know.
168
00:18:30,001 --> 00:18:31,000
I don't know.
169
00:18:31,001 --> 00:18:33,519
You could have thought
this was crazy, you
170
00:18:33,531 --> 00:18:36,000
know, but I thought
you and Roger were --
171
00:18:36,001 --> 00:18:38,000
>> Sleeping together.
172
00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:41,000
>> Well, if you're going to split hairs.
173
00:18:41,001 --> 00:18:44,000
>> Wait a minute.
174
00:18:44,001 --> 00:18:47,000
Wait a minute.
175
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,000
Wait a minute.
176
00:18:49,001 --> 00:18:51,000
You are gay?
177
00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:52,000
>> What?
178
00:18:52,001 --> 00:18:55,000
You check out a ball
player's butt once in a while?
179
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:57,000
Does that make you gay?
180
00:18:57,001 --> 00:19:00,000
You look at an underwear
ad and get a little excited.
181
00:19:00,001 --> 00:19:03,000
Does that make you gay?
182
00:19:03,001 --> 00:19:06,000
You sleep with a guy once
or twice, maybe in the army.
183
00:19:06,001 --> 00:19:08,000
Does that make you gay?
184
00:19:08,001 --> 00:19:11,000
Technically, fine.
185
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:13,000
You want to label me?
186
00:19:13,001 --> 00:19:14,000
Label me.
187
00:19:14,001 --> 00:19:15,000
I'm gay.
188
00:19:15,001 --> 00:19:16,000
I'm a gay man.
189
00:19:16,001 --> 00:19:17,000
Happy?
190
00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:19,000
No, no, no, I'm not happy.
191
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:21,000
I'm nowhere fucking close to happy.
192
00:19:21,001 --> 00:19:23,000
What about your marriage?
193
00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:24,000
What about mom?
194
00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:26,000
What about me and Susan?
195
00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:27,000
Hey, I love you, kids.
196
00:19:27,001 --> 00:19:29,000
I love your mother.
197
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:32,000
I'd probably still be married
if it wasn't for that dope Harry.
198
00:19:32,001 --> 00:19:34,000
And that whole time you
were attracted to men.
199
00:19:34,001 --> 00:19:35,000
Not all men.
200
00:19:35,001 --> 00:19:38,000
Your whole life has been a lie, right?
201
00:19:38,001 --> 00:19:39,000
One big fucking lie.
202
00:19:39,001 --> 00:19:41,000
Hey, don't talk to me like that.
203
00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:42,000
I'm still your father.
204
00:19:42,001 --> 00:19:43,000
Are you?
205
00:19:43,001 --> 00:19:44,000
I don't know.
206
00:19:44,001 --> 00:19:45,000
I don't know who you are.
207
00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:46,000
Yeah?
208
00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:49,000
Well, that makes two of us.
209
00:19:49,001 --> 00:19:57,000
Hey, I'm... I'm winging this.
210
00:19:57,001 --> 00:19:59,000
I don't know what I'm doing.
211
00:19:59,001 --> 00:20:01,000
It's all new.
212
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:03,000
I'm moving to New York.
213
00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:06,000
I'm living with a guy.
214
00:20:06,001 --> 00:20:09,000
He's buying me slippers.
215
00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:12,000
And I'm liking it.
216
00:20:12,001 --> 00:20:16,000
Aw, jeez.
217
00:20:16,001 --> 00:20:18,000
Dad.
218
00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:20,000
I'm sorry if I disappoint you.
219
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:22,000
No, no, no.
220
00:20:22,001 --> 00:20:24,000
It's not that, you know.
221
00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:28,000
I just... I just want to die.
222
00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:30,000
I just want you to be happy.
223
00:20:30,001 --> 00:20:32,000
Thanks.
224
00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:34,000
Thanks.
225
00:20:34,001 --> 00:20:38,000
Why did you pick me, Joey?
226
00:20:38,001 --> 00:20:43,000
Don't you know I'm the most
unlikeliest daddy in the whole army?
227
00:20:43,001 --> 00:20:52,000
Hey, I hit the exacto.
228
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:55,000
I won 247.
229
00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:57,000
I can come back.
230
00:20:57,001 --> 00:20:59,000
Hold it.
231
00:20:59,001 --> 00:21:01,000
I told him.
232
00:21:01,001 --> 00:21:03,000
You told him, told him?
233
00:21:03,001 --> 00:21:07,000
Wow.
234
00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:09,000
Look at the balls on you.
235
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:14,000
Has he told you how
crazy I am about this guy?
236
00:21:14,001 --> 00:21:18,000
Should we call Don, Daddy, now?
237
00:21:18,001 --> 00:21:22,000
Come on, get off me, will ya?
238
00:21:22,001 --> 00:21:23,000
Are we still gonna eat?
239
00:21:23,001 --> 00:21:27,000
No, he took two buzzes down
here to talk about your sex life.
240
00:21:27,001 --> 00:21:28,000
Come on.
241
00:21:28,001 --> 00:21:30,000
Let's go.
242
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,000
[door opens]
243
00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:40,000
Roger, would you like to join us?
244
00:21:40,001 --> 00:21:43,000
Martin, you that okay with this?
245
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:46,000
No.
246
00:21:46,001 --> 00:21:48,000
No, no.
247
00:21:48,001 --> 00:21:50,000
I was just trying to be polite.
248
00:21:50,001 --> 00:21:51,000
That's okay.
249
00:21:51,001 --> 00:21:53,000
Enough said.
250
00:21:53,001 --> 00:21:59,000
I don't think it makes much difference
whose father can like whose father.
251
00:21:59,001 --> 00:22:02,000
There are many more important
problems in the world than that.
252
00:22:02,001 --> 00:22:07,000
No, come on.
253
00:22:07,001 --> 00:22:10,000
Come on, I really want you to.
254
00:22:10,001 --> 00:22:12,000
All right, but it's my treat.
255
00:22:12,001 --> 00:22:14,000
Compliments of devil's
delight in the seven.
256
00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:22,000
And Martin, one more thing.
257
00:22:22,001 --> 00:22:24,000
You had that?
258
00:22:24,001 --> 00:22:27,000
Don't tell your mother.
259
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,000
Not a problem.
260
00:22:30,001 --> 00:22:32,000
Not a problem.
15794
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