Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:10,001 --> 00:01:26,000
>> That should be
against the law, you know?
2
00:01:26,001 --> 00:01:29,000
Really, Congress should pass on a
minimum against all you can eat buffets.
3
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,000
>> You could try a little discipline.
4
00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:31,000
>> Discipline?
5
00:01:31,001 --> 00:01:35,000
>> Get that thought out
of your head, you fiend.
6
00:01:35,001 --> 00:01:38,000
>> Would you guys mind if
we stop here just for a minute?
7
00:01:38,001 --> 00:01:40,000
>> Actually, I have to run a phone company.
8
00:01:40,001 --> 00:01:42,000
It seems Julie hasn't paid
her bills in sophomore year.
9
00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:45,000
Just another chapter in her
insidious plot to drive me insane.
10
00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:46,000
>> Seems to be working.
11
00:01:46,001 --> 00:01:47,000
>> [LAUGH]
12
00:01:47,001 --> 00:01:58,000
[MUSIC]
13
00:01:58,001 --> 00:01:59,000
>> Well, watch out.
14
00:01:59,001 --> 00:02:01,000
>> Fucking asshole.
15
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,000
>> Yeah.
16
00:02:02,001 --> 00:02:04,000
>> So, things are going well.
17
00:02:04,001 --> 00:02:07,000
>> Yeah, I've never been this happy.
18
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,000
We're perfectly compatible.
19
00:02:09,001 --> 00:02:11,000
She's very neat, but she's not a fanatic.
20
00:02:11,001 --> 00:02:12,000
>> Like me.
21
00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:16,000
>> She slipped through the
window closed, like a normal person.
22
00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:18,000
>> Well, glad it's working out.
23
00:02:18,001 --> 00:02:20,000
>> And the best thing
is, she's so easy going.
24
00:02:20,001 --> 00:02:22,000
She's not always analyzing me all the time.
25
00:02:22,001 --> 00:02:25,000
>> Okay, I get the idea.
26
00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:27,000
>> Which isn't to say you
didn't have your good points.
27
00:02:27,001 --> 00:02:28,000
>> You're good points.
28
00:02:28,001 --> 00:02:30,518
>> You know, like- >>
This stubborn fanatic
29
00:02:30,530 --> 00:02:33,000
manner in which you
cling to your opinion.
30
00:02:33,001 --> 00:02:34,000
>> You're a spoiled brat.
31
00:02:34,001 --> 00:02:36,000
You've had your way for so long,
you never think of other people.
32
00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:40,000
>> You can far lay a pack of cigarettes
into something more than 20 smokes.
33
00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:43,000
>> Well, way too many to mention, really.
34
00:02:43,001 --> 00:02:45,000
What are you looking for?
35
00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:46,000
>> Oh, it's nothing.
36
00:02:46,001 --> 00:02:50,000
Richard did a Calvin Klein
underwear I had and I- Here it is.
37
00:02:50,001 --> 00:02:51,000
[LAUGH]
38
00:02:51,001 --> 00:02:54,000
Look, doesn't he look cute?
39
00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:57,000
[MUSIC]
40
00:02:57,001 --> 00:02:59,000
>> Not much hair on his chest.
41
00:02:59,001 --> 00:03:01,000
>> Hey, do you want to go
to Times Square with me?
42
00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:03,000
They're making this into a billboard.
43
00:03:03,001 --> 00:03:04,508
>> I'd love to, you
know, but I have to
44
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,000
meet the guy from
the Realty Company .
45
00:03:06,001 --> 00:03:10,000
There's something about our sub-letters,
but you go ahead and have a ball.
46
00:03:10,001 --> 00:03:13,000
Just have two of them.
47
00:03:13,001 --> 00:03:15,000
>> Do you have any antacids, please?
48
00:03:15,001 --> 00:03:19,000
[MUSIC]
49
00:03:19,001 --> 00:03:21,000
>> Erwin Bader Esquire, Hunter
Owens Management Company.
50
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,000
>> Martin Tupper.
51
00:03:23,001 --> 00:03:26,000
>> What happened to the Spencers?
52
00:03:26,001 --> 00:03:31,000
>> Well, either they're very,
very tiny or they never moved in.
53
00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:35,000
My money's on the
ladder and yours will be too.
54
00:03:35,001 --> 00:03:37,000
>> What are you talking about?
55
00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:40,000
>> I refer you to your lease, paragraph 16.
56
00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:43,000
"Lessie shall be liable for the payment
of rent in the event of any breach
57
00:03:43,001 --> 00:03:46,000
by sub-lessie, his, her assignees,
or successors upon receiving written
58
00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:47,000
notice thereof."
59
00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:52,000
>> The language of ancient Egypt,
not per on this earth for 2,000 years.
60
00:03:52,001 --> 00:03:54,000
>> And in English this means?
61
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,000
>> You're fucked.
62
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:56,430
Yours three months
back rent plus all
63
00:03:56,442 --> 00:03:58,000
future rent till you
find a new tenant .
64
00:03:58,001 --> 00:03:59,000
>> That's impossible.
65
00:03:59,001 --> 00:04:01,000
>> And yet it's become a reality.
66
00:04:01,001 --> 00:04:03,000
>> What about this notice thing?
67
00:04:03,001 --> 00:04:05,000
I never got any notice.
68
00:04:05,001 --> 00:04:07,000
>> Oh, now, Mr. Tupper.
69
00:04:07,001 --> 00:04:08,000
We slipped them right under your door.
70
00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:10,000
In fact, there they are.
71
00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:11,000
>> Oh, wonderful.
72
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,000
That's great.
73
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,000
Why don't I just fucking read them now?
74
00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:15,000
>> Oh, being angry won't help.
75
00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:18,000
>> This is bullshit.
76
00:04:18,001 --> 00:04:19,000
>> I see your point, tell you what.
77
00:04:19,001 --> 00:04:22,000
Supposing I have a little chat with
my supervisor to see what I can do.
78
00:04:22,001 --> 00:04:23,000
>> Thank you.
79
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:26,000
>> But I'm going to need to hold
a check for our file just in case.
80
00:04:26,001 --> 00:04:27,000
>> No, no, no, no.
81
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:29,000
I am not going to give you a check.
82
00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:33,000
>> I refer you to paragraph
21, "Lessieur, me su."
83
00:04:33,001 --> 00:04:36,000
>> Clarence, there's an old saying
in Connecticut when you got to git.
84
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:37,000
Git.
85
00:04:37,001 --> 00:04:38,000
>> All right, all right, all right.
86
00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:40,000
But call me before you deposit this.
87
00:04:40,001 --> 00:04:42,000
>> Of course.
88
00:04:42,001 --> 00:04:45,798
>> In the meantime,
I suggest you find a
89
00:04:45,810 --> 00:04:50,000
new subletter, someone
of normal human size.
90
00:04:50,001 --> 00:04:52,000
>> Ha, ha, ha.
91
00:04:52,001 --> 00:05:01,000
[ Music ]
92
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,391
>> Told me I need
you to fax this to
93
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,000
the New York Times
Classified right away.
94
00:05:04,001 --> 00:05:05,000
>> Hey, you might want to hold off.
95
00:05:05,001 --> 00:05:07,000
I know a guy who's looking around a place.
96
00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:08,000
>> Really?
97
00:05:08,001 --> 00:05:09,000
Who?
98
00:05:09,001 --> 00:05:10,000
>> My cousin Frankie.
99
00:05:10,001 --> 00:05:11,000
What's the rent?
100
00:05:11,001 --> 00:05:12,000
>> A month.
101
00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:14,000
>> And how many square feet is that?
102
00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:15,000
>> I don't know.
103
00:05:15,001 --> 00:05:17,000
It's big, you know, about 850.
104
00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:20,000
>> Is that big enough for a car dealership?
105
00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:23,000
[ Car horn ]
106
00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:25,000
>> Just fax the thing, will you?
107
00:05:25,001 --> 00:05:26,000
>> Hey, well, don't have a conniption.
108
00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:28,000
I'm just trying to help.
109
00:05:28,001 --> 00:05:31,000
[ Door opens ]
110
00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:33,000
>> Cut.
111
00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:36,000
>> Hi, Martin.
112
00:05:36,001 --> 00:05:37,000
>> Hi.
113
00:05:37,001 --> 00:05:39,000
>> Here you go.
114
00:05:39,001 --> 00:05:41,000
>> Thank you.
115
00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:43,000
>> Hey, I was talking to
your mother this morning.
116
00:05:43,001 --> 00:05:46,000
She says she never sees you anymore.
117
00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:47,000
>> I've been kind of busy.
118
00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:48,839
>> Why don't you
give her a break and
119
00:05:48,851 --> 00:05:51,000
come home for dinner
once in a while, okay?
120
00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:53,000
>> Um, can I talk to you for a minute?
121
00:05:53,001 --> 00:05:55,000
It's kind of personal.
122
00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:56,000
[ Door closes ]
123
00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:58,000
>> Sure, sure.
124
00:05:58,001 --> 00:06:08,000
[ Music ]
125
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,000
[ Door closes ]
126
00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:15,000
[ Footsteps ]
127
00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:16,000
>> Is everything all right?
128
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:19,000
>> Yeah, sort of.
129
00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:20,000
Not exactly.
130
00:06:20,001 --> 00:06:22,000
I kind of have a problem.
131
00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:27,000
>> I've eaten so much of this
stuff every time I sit down, I squish.
132
00:06:27,001 --> 00:06:31,000
>> Well, you know -- [ Music ]
133
00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:36,000
Maybe I can help you.
134
00:06:36,001 --> 00:06:38,000
>> I'm pregnant.
135
00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:39,000
[ Door closes ]
136
00:06:39,001 --> 00:06:40,000
>> Oh, my God.
137
00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:41,000
>> Yeah.
138
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:45,000
I'm still pretty shocked myself.
139
00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:46,000
>> Yes.
140
00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:50,000
>> In a situation like this, what is
the customary thing the man does?
141
00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:52,000
>> It's not mine, is it?
142
00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:55,000
>> Martin, we haven't
slept together in five months.
143
00:06:55,001 --> 00:06:57,000
But with yours, I'd be like this.
144
00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,000
>> I'm sorry.
145
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,000
I'm sorry.
146
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,000
It's just a reflex, you know what I mean?
147
00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:02,000
>> Yeah.
148
00:07:02,001 --> 00:07:04,000
My intercom is on the Fritz.
149
00:07:04,001 --> 00:07:05,000
Would you send a repairman?
150
00:07:05,001 --> 00:07:06,000
Pronto.
151
00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:07,000
>> What happened?
152
00:07:07,001 --> 00:07:10,000
I mean, I know what happened
happened, but -- >> I have no idea.
153
00:07:10,001 --> 00:07:13,000
I mean, we used condoms and a diaphragm.
154
00:07:13,001 --> 00:07:17,000
One of the sperms must have
been an incredible swimmer.
155
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,000
>> And the guy?
156
00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:20,000
>> Also a good swimmer.
157
00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:24,000
But he moved back to Paris,
and now I have a souvenir.
158
00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:26,000
>> What are you going to do?
159
00:07:26,001 --> 00:07:28,000
>> I'm going to have an abortion.
160
00:07:28,001 --> 00:07:29,000
>> Oh.
161
00:07:29,001 --> 00:07:30,000
>> I know.
162
00:07:30,001 --> 00:07:31,000
I know.
163
00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:32,391
But, you know,
I've thought it over,
164
00:07:32,403 --> 00:07:34,000
and -- well, that's
what I'm going to do.
165
00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:36,000
And there's only one problem.
166
00:07:36,001 --> 00:07:38,000
I'm sort of broke.
167
00:07:38,001 --> 00:07:41,000
So you think you could float me alone?
168
00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:45,000
>> Julie, have you talked
to your mother about this?
169
00:07:45,001 --> 00:07:46,000
>> Yeah, right.
170
00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:49,000
I mean, I forget to pay a phone bill,
and I get a two-hour tirade about how
171
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:51,000
irresponsible I am.
172
00:07:51,001 --> 00:07:53,000
That's not what I need right now.
173
00:07:53,001 --> 00:07:54,000
>> No, no, no, no.
174
00:07:54,001 --> 00:07:56,000
I'm sure she'll understand.
175
00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:57,000
>> Look, I mean, I'm an adult.
176
00:07:57,001 --> 00:07:59,000
It's my decision.
177
00:07:59,001 --> 00:08:02,000
I really just want to get it over with.
178
00:08:02,001 --> 00:08:04,000
Please, I don't know what else to do.
179
00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:05,000
I'll pay you back.
180
00:08:05,001 --> 00:08:06,000
>> No, no, no, no.
181
00:08:06,001 --> 00:08:07,000
It's not the money.
182
00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:09,000
It's not that I don't
support your decision.
183
00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:13,000
I really, really think that you
should talk to your mother.
184
00:08:13,001 --> 00:08:14,000
>> Forget it.
185
00:08:14,001 --> 00:08:15,000
I shouldn't have asked.
186
00:08:15,001 --> 00:08:16,000
Don't worry.
187
00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:18,000
I'll figure something else out.
188
00:08:18,001 --> 00:08:23,000
>> Wait, wait.
189
00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:24,000
How much do you need?
190
00:08:24,001 --> 00:08:28,000
>> $400.75.
191
00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:30,000
For the bagel.
192
00:08:30,001 --> 00:08:32,000
>> No problem.
193
00:08:32,001 --> 00:08:35,000
You want me to come with you?
194
00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:37,000
>> Would you?
195
00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:38,000
That'd be great.
196
00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:41,000
I really appreciate this.
197
00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:44,000
Please, don't say anything to my mother.
198
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:47,000
>> Julie.
199
00:08:47,001 --> 00:08:52,000
>> Sure.
200
00:08:52,001 --> 00:08:53,000
Sure.
201
00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:55,000
>> Gallic gesture.
202
00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:02,000
[ Music ]
203
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,000
>> Hi.
204
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,000
Just grabbed my
application from the counter.
205
00:09:05,001 --> 00:09:06,000
>> Okay.
206
00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:12,000
>> Just fill it out and I'll be
with you as soon as I can.
207
00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:13,000
Sorry.
208
00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:18,000
So, you were saying?
209
00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:19,000
>> Space is like a steal.
210
00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:20,000
Why don't you give it up?
211
00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:24,000
>> Well, I moved in with my girlfriend.
212
00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:25,000
>> You're stupid, ma'am.
213
00:09:25,001 --> 00:09:26,000
>> Okay.
214
00:09:26,001 --> 00:09:29,000
I'm just going to ask you a few questions.
215
00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:31,000
First of all, do you smoke?
216
00:09:31,001 --> 00:09:32,000
>> Just pot.
217
00:09:32,001 --> 00:09:33,000
But only in bed.
218
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:38,000
[ Music ]
219
00:09:38,001 --> 00:09:39,000
>> So, where do you work?
220
00:09:39,001 --> 00:09:40,000
At home.
221
00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:41,000
>> Really?
222
00:09:41,001 --> 00:09:42,000
Really.
223
00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:43,000
What do you do?
224
00:09:43,001 --> 00:09:44,000
>> I breed insects.
225
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:48,000
[ Music ]
226
00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:53,000
>> Look, I want this apartment
and I'll do whatever it takes to get in.
227
00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:56,000
>> You like blow jobs?
228
00:09:56,001 --> 00:09:58,000
[ Music ]
229
00:09:58,001 --> 00:10:01,000
>> Just first and last month's rental deal.
230
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:04,000
>> Fucking A, I got it right here.
231
00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:05,000
>> Terrific.
232
00:10:05,001 --> 00:10:06,000
>> Rickety.
233
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:08,000
>> This is for $800.
234
00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:09,000
>> Uh-huh.
235
00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:12,000
>> The rent is $1,400 a month.
236
00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:15,000
I mean, no, 1,400 times two is
about -- >> Whoa, whoa, whoa.
237
00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:16,000
What are you trying to pull, man?
238
00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:18,000
Your attitude is the rent is $400.
239
00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:20,000
>> What?
240
00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:21,000
>> Shit.
241
00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:23,000
This is a misprint.
242
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:24,000
>> I'm sorry.
243
00:10:24,001 --> 00:10:26,000
>> You could always just
write out another check.
244
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,000
>> What?
245
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,000
I'm not paying $1,400
a month for this dump.
246
00:10:29,001 --> 00:10:31,000
I should kick your fucking ass.
247
00:10:31,001 --> 00:10:33,000
>> Excuse me, did you say $1,400?
248
00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:34,000
The answer is $400.
249
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:36,000
>> Well, either way, it's a terrific value.
250
00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:37,000
>> $1,400.
251
00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:38,000
>> Oh, come on.
252
00:10:38,001 --> 00:10:40,000
Come on, this place is huge.
253
00:10:40,001 --> 00:10:42,000
I mean, and look at all this exposed brick.
254
00:10:42,001 --> 00:10:42,976
I mean, everywhere
you look, you know,
255
00:10:42,988 --> 00:10:44,000
it's brick, brick,
brick, brick, brick.
256
00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:53,000
[ Music ]
257
00:10:53,001 --> 00:10:54,000
>> Toby, I need you to call the times.
258
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,000
There's a misprint in this side.
259
00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:56,000
Look at this.
260
00:10:56,001 --> 00:10:58,000
They listed the rent as $400 a month.
261
00:10:58,001 --> 00:10:59,000
>> That was no misprint.
262
00:10:59,001 --> 00:11:01,000
That was my strategy.
263
00:11:01,001 --> 00:11:02,000
>> What?
264
00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:04,000
How would you do something like that?
265
00:11:04,001 --> 00:11:05,000
>> It's common sense.
266
00:11:05,001 --> 00:11:07,000
That way, you'll get more calls.
267
00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:08,000
See?
268
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,000
It worked.
269
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,000
>> Give me those.
270
00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:13,000
How can I get rid of this woman?
271
00:11:13,001 --> 00:11:14,000
>> Hey, Martin.
272
00:11:14,001 --> 00:11:15,000
Hey, Toby.
273
00:11:15,001 --> 00:11:17,000
>> Hi.
274
00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:19,000
Are you ready to go?
275
00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:20,000
>> Yeah.
276
00:11:20,001 --> 00:11:23,000
Let me just change and we'll
meet you in the server, okay?
277
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:25,000
>> I'll be out of the office until about 2.
278
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:26,000
>> Oh, yeah.
279
00:11:26,001 --> 00:11:28,000
Today's the big day, isn't it?
280
00:11:28,001 --> 00:11:29,000
>> What do you mean?
281
00:11:29,001 --> 00:11:32,000
>> You think I don't
know where you're going?
282
00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:34,000
You should be ashamed of yourself.
283
00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:35,000
>> Toby, please.
284
00:11:35,001 --> 00:11:36,000
Don't say that.
285
00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:38,000
>> You're going to the
boat show, aren't you?
286
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:42,000
Well, if you're going, I'm going.
287
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:43,000
>> Can't fool you.
288
00:11:43,001 --> 00:11:45,000
I'll tell you what.
289
00:11:45,001 --> 00:11:47,000
We'll meet you there.
290
00:11:47,001 --> 00:12:01,000
>> Hi.
291
00:12:01,001 --> 00:12:03,000
I'm Julie Gower.
292
00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:05,000
I have an appointment with Dr. Wise.
293
00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:06,000
>> Okay.
294
00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:07,000
I'll need you to fill out some forms.
295
00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:09,000
How do you want to arrange for payment?
296
00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:10,000
>> Martin, take over.
297
00:12:10,001 --> 00:12:12,000
>> I'll be taking care of that.
298
00:12:12,001 --> 00:12:14,000
>> And you are Mr. Gower?
299
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,000
>> No, no.
300
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,000
I'm not her husband.
301
00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:19,000
>> Actually, I was thinking father.
302
00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:21,000
>> No, I just looked at him.
303
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,000
I worry a lot.
304
00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:23,000
>> No, I'm not her father.
305
00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:24,000
I'm Martin Tupper.
306
00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:27,000
I'm her mother's boyfriend.
307
00:12:27,001 --> 00:12:28,000
>> I see.
308
00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:30,000
>> No, no, no, no.
309
00:12:30,001 --> 00:12:31,000
I don't think you understand.
310
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:36,000
See, I'm not the -- I mean,
she's not my girlfriend.
311
00:12:36,001 --> 00:12:38,000
>> I'm his ex-girlfriend.
312
00:12:38,001 --> 00:12:40,000
But it's not his.
313
00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:42,000
It's kind of a long story.
314
00:12:42,001 --> 00:12:44,000
>> I'll just put down friend.
315
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:46,000
>> Friend will be fine.
316
00:12:46,001 --> 00:12:47,000
>> Okay, Julie.
317
00:12:47,001 --> 00:12:48,940
Why don't you have
a seat, fill out this
318
00:12:48,952 --> 00:12:51,000
form, and we'll call
you when we're ready.
319
00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:53,000
>> Thanks.
320
00:12:53,001 --> 00:13:01,000
>> Hello.
321
00:13:01,001 --> 00:13:04,000
Look, new mommy magazine.
322
00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:06,000
How's that for irony?
323
00:13:06,001 --> 00:13:08,000
How are you doing?
324
00:13:08,001 --> 00:13:09,000
You okay?
325
00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:11,000
>> Considering.
326
00:13:11,001 --> 00:13:12,000
How are you?
327
00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:14,000
You look a little peckered.
328
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:15,000
>> Me?
329
00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:16,000
Oh, I'm fine.
330
00:13:16,001 --> 00:13:17,000
Fine.
331
00:13:17,001 --> 00:13:18,000
I'm -- Aces.
332
00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:21,000
>> I'm here for my mammogram.
333
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:24,000
It's not the most pleasant procedure,
334
00:13:24,001 --> 00:13:29,000
but at my age, it's nice to get
them handled once in a while.
335
00:13:29,001 --> 00:13:34,000
>> Right.
336
00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:37,000
Julie, the doctor will see you now.
337
00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:40,000
>> Well, here we go.
338
00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:44,000
>> Everything's going to be okay.
339
00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:45,000
>> I know.
340
00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:46,000
Thanks for being here.
341
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,000
Oh, I almost forgot.
342
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:50,000
I stole you a muffin.
343
00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:52,000
Oh.
344
00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:54,000
>> I guess I sat on it.
345
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,000
>> That's okay.
346
00:13:56,001 --> 00:14:01,000
>> I'll eat it.
347
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:09,000
[ Music ]
348
00:14:09,001 --> 00:14:11,000
>> Is it quiet?
349
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:13,000
Because I like quiet.
350
00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:14,000
>> Are you kidding?
351
00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:16,000
It's like a cemetery.
352
00:14:16,001 --> 00:14:20,000
There's lots of light, and the best
thing is there's tons of exposed brick.
353
00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:23,000
I mean, literally, just tons, you know?
354
00:14:23,001 --> 00:14:25,000
And this is practically
not what's going on.
355
00:14:25,001 --> 00:14:26,000
>> I noticed there's no doorman.
356
00:14:26,001 --> 00:14:28,000
Does it say?
357
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,000
>> What?
358
00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:33,000
>> I said, is it safe without a doorman?
359
00:14:33,001 --> 00:14:35,000
>> Yes, yes, it's safe.
360
00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:37,000
You wouldn't believe how safe it is.
361
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,000
No crime at all.
362
00:14:39,001 --> 00:14:40,000
>> What's going on?
363
00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:41,000
>> Hey!
364
00:14:41,001 --> 00:14:43,000
>> Get out of here.
365
00:14:43,001 --> 00:14:46,000
>> Mr. Zoldesi, put that gun down.
366
00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:48,000
>> Who the hell are you?
367
00:14:48,001 --> 00:14:50,000
>> It's me, Martin Tupper.
368
00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:52,000
I've lived next door to you for 17 years.
369
00:14:52,001 --> 00:14:55,000
>> I've never seen you before in my life.
370
00:14:55,001 --> 00:14:58,000
I am calling the cops.
371
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:06,000
[Music]
372
00:15:06,001 --> 00:15:08,000
>> This almost never happens.
373
00:15:08,001 --> 00:15:19,000
[Music]
374
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,000
>> Hello?
375
00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:25,000
I'm home.
376
00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:26,000
Okay?
377
00:15:26,001 --> 00:15:27,000
>> Hi.
378
00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:28,000
>> Jesus.
379
00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:29,000
Jesus.
380
00:15:29,001 --> 00:15:31,000
You scared me.
381
00:15:31,001 --> 00:15:32,000
Come here.
382
00:15:32,001 --> 00:15:34,000
>> So how are you?
383
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,000
Do you feel okay?
384
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:37,000
>> I feel great.
385
00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:38,000
>> Are you sure?
386
00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:39,000
>> Yeah, yeah, I feel fine.
387
00:15:39,001 --> 00:15:40,000
Why?
388
00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:43,000
>> Because this bill came
from your gynecologist.
389
00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:46,000
>> Lie, lie, you hear me lie.
390
00:15:46,001 --> 00:15:50,000
>> Well, it must be a mistake
because I have no ovaries.
391
00:15:50,001 --> 00:15:51,859
>> Which makes
the bounce check with
392
00:15:51,871 --> 00:15:54,000
your name on it all
the more mysterious .
393
00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:56,000
>> We've landed in something all right.
394
00:15:56,001 --> 00:15:57,000
But it's not butter.
395
00:15:57,001 --> 00:16:00,000
>> That fucking guy from the real estate
company must have cashed my check.
396
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:03,000
You know, I ought to kick his ass.
397
00:16:03,001 --> 00:16:04,000
>> Martin, what's going on?
398
00:16:04,001 --> 00:16:07,000
Dr. Wise is Julie's gynecologist.
399
00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:09,000
>> Telephone.
400
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:11,000
>> I'll get it.
401
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,000
>> Hello?
402
00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:15,000
Yeah, yes, it is.
403
00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:17,000
But the rent is $1,400 a month.
404
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:19,000
Hello?
405
00:16:19,001 --> 00:16:22,000
They hung up.
406
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,000
Did I tell you what Toby did to me?
407
00:16:26,001 --> 00:16:27,000
>> Cut the shit, Martin.
408
00:16:27,001 --> 00:16:29,000
I want the truth right now.
409
00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:31,000
>> Look, fella, let's not kid ourselves.
410
00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:32,000
We flew this one.
411
00:16:32,001 --> 00:16:34,000
>> I took Julie to the doctor.
412
00:16:34,001 --> 00:16:35,000
>> Why? What for?
413
00:16:35,001 --> 00:16:36,000
>> I don't know.
414
00:16:36,001 --> 00:16:37,000
I don't know.
415
00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:39,000
You're some woman thing,
you know, but she's fine.
416
00:16:39,001 --> 00:16:41,000
It's fine.
417
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:44,000
Hey, what are you doing?
418
00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:47,000
>> I guess if I want an actual
answer, I'll have to call Julie.
419
00:16:47,001 --> 00:16:49,000
>> You might as well give up, frog face.
420
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:52,000
>> Okay, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
421
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,000
Okay, look, look.
422
00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:59,000
Julie needed an abortion.
423
00:16:59,001 --> 00:17:01,000
I guess she wasn't comfortable telling you.
424
00:17:01,001 --> 00:17:02,000
It was fine.
425
00:17:02,001 --> 00:17:03,000
I went with her.
426
00:17:03,001 --> 00:17:05,000
>> You.
427
00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:08,000
You son of a bitch.
428
00:17:08,001 --> 00:17:10,000
I can't believe you did this.
429
00:17:10,001 --> 00:17:14,000
>> Okay, now look, I didn't want to
say anything, but you're the one who
430
00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:15,000
opened my mouth.
431
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:16,000
Ow!
432
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,000
>> How dare you not tell me?
433
00:17:17,001 --> 00:17:20,000
I mean, what on earth
were you-- Oh my God.
434
00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:21,001
>> What?
435
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000
>> It was your baby, wasn't it?
436
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:27,000
>> Kate, how can you
possibly even think that?
437
00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:29,000
>> Maybe because you slept with her.
438
00:17:29,001 --> 00:17:30,000
I mean, that is how it works.
439
00:17:30,001 --> 00:17:31,000
>> That was five months ago.
440
00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:33,000
I mean, she would have been like this now.
441
00:17:33,001 --> 00:17:36,000
>> Well, then why did you pay
for an abortion and hide it from me?
442
00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:37,000
>> Because she asked me to.
443
00:17:37,001 --> 00:17:40,000
>> Well, you were in a
relationship with me, not her.
444
00:17:40,001 --> 00:17:42,000
Kate-- God damn it.
445
00:17:42,001 --> 00:17:44,000
Hello.
446
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:51,000
>> See, see, Pedro El
Apartmento no Es Quatro $100.
447
00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:52,000
Fuck.
448
00:17:52,001 --> 00:17:54,000
What's Spanish for $1,400, you know?
449
00:17:54,001 --> 00:17:57,000
Tango que bazura.
450
00:17:57,001 --> 00:17:58,000
Kate?
451
00:17:58,001 --> 00:18:00,000
Kate, I'm sorry.
452
00:18:00,001 --> 00:18:01,000
I'm sorry.
453
00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:03,000
Look, I admit I didn't
handle the situation very well.
454
00:18:03,001 --> 00:18:05,000
But the important
thing is that Julie's fine.
455
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,000
You know, everything, it's okay.
456
00:18:07,001 --> 00:18:09,000
>> No, it is not okay.
457
00:18:09,001 --> 00:18:11,000
It is nowhere close to okay.
458
00:18:11,001 --> 00:18:12,000
>> Look, I said I'm sorry.
459
00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:14,000
I don't know what else I can do.
460
00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:15,000
I don't.
461
00:18:15,001 --> 00:18:17,000
>> Well, I'm sorry, but I
don't approve of murder.
462
00:18:17,001 --> 00:18:18,000
>> Neither do I.
463
00:18:18,001 --> 00:18:20,000
What are we talking about here?
464
00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:22,000
>> Abortion is murder.
465
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:27,000
>> You're kidding.
466
00:18:27,001 --> 00:18:28,000
You're kidding, right?
467
00:18:28,001 --> 00:18:30,000
>> Do I look like I'm kidding?
468
00:18:30,001 --> 00:18:32,000
Am I laughing or smiling in any way?
469
00:18:32,001 --> 00:18:34,000
>> No, I'm just-- I'm in shock.
470
00:18:34,001 --> 00:18:37,000
I mean, I just-- I just
assumed you were pro-choice.
471
00:18:37,001 --> 00:18:38,000
>> Why would you assume that?
472
00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:41,000
>> Because we agree on everything else.
473
00:18:41,001 --> 00:18:43,000
You know, and I mean, you're an
enlightened, well-educated person.
474
00:18:43,001 --> 00:18:45,000
>> So only stupid people
are against abortion.
475
00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:47,000
>> No, no, no, no, no.
476
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,000
I just thought you were
like me, you know, not them.
477
00:18:49,001 --> 00:18:51,000
>> What do you mean them?
478
00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:52,000
Who's them?
479
00:18:52,001 --> 00:18:56,000
>> The President of the United
States with his Thanksgiving Turkey.
480
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:59,000
>> Look, I respect Europeans.
481
00:18:59,001 --> 00:19:02,000
>> Well, I don't respect
yours, not if you're pro-abortion.
482
00:19:02,001 --> 00:19:03,000
>> Not pro-abortion?
483
00:19:03,001 --> 00:19:05,000
What are you talking about?
484
00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:06,000
Nobody is.
485
00:19:06,001 --> 00:19:08,000
It's not like I'm running around
with an I Heart abortion t-shirt
486
00:19:08,001 --> 00:19:10,000
and a flute leading
people off to the clinics.
487
00:19:10,001 --> 00:19:11,000
Come on.
488
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:15,000
>> Well, you did take one person
there, and that's the one I care about.
489
00:19:15,001 --> 00:19:19,000
>> Look, I-- the fucking
place is rented, okay?
490
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:21,000
>> Hello?
491
00:19:21,001 --> 00:19:23,000
>> Look, it was not in my decision.
492
00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:24,000
It was Julie's.
493
00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:26,000
After all, she's 22 years
old and it's her body.
494
00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:27,471
And whether you agree
with her or not, she
495
00:19:27,483 --> 00:19:29,000
still has the right to
make her own choice.
496
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:32,000
>> We are talking about a girl who
can't even balance her own checkbook.
497
00:19:32,001 --> 00:19:34,000
>> Oh, but she's responsible
enough to have a child.
498
00:19:34,001 --> 00:19:36,000
>> There are other
alternatives, and you know that.
499
00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:41,000
If I had made that choice 23 years
ago, Julie wouldn't even be here.
500
00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:45,000
So don't you talk to me about choice.
501
00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:48,000
>> Okay.
502
00:19:48,001 --> 00:19:49,000
Okay.
503
00:19:49,001 --> 00:19:52,000
Okay, you know, I'm glad this
whole thing is out in the open.
504
00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:54,000
And I, for one, feel
better already, you know?
505
00:19:54,001 --> 00:19:57,000
So why don't we just
agree to disagree and just--
506
00:19:57,001 --> 00:20:00,000
let's just put this whole thing behind us.
507
00:20:00,001 --> 00:20:03,000
>> How can you say that?
508
00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:04,000
Okay.
509
00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:07,000
>> Well, in that case, there's
nothing more to be said.
510
00:20:07,001 --> 00:20:29,000
>> If you're looking for Martin
Tupper, he can be reached at 555-4355.
511
00:20:29,001 --> 00:20:32,000
If you're calling about the
apartment, it's no longer available.
512
00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:34,000
Please wait for the-- wait, wait.
513
00:20:34,001 --> 00:20:35,000
Hold it!
514
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:37,000
Oh, damn it!
515
00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:44,000
Hi.
516
00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:45,000
>> Martin, I'm so sorry.
517
00:20:45,001 --> 00:20:46,000
>> No, no, no, no.
518
00:20:46,001 --> 00:20:47,000
Come on.
519
00:20:47,001 --> 00:20:48,000
It wasn't your fault.
520
00:20:48,001 --> 00:20:50,000
>> If I had known that this would have
happened, I never would have asked.
521
00:20:50,001 --> 00:20:53,000
>> I know, I know, I know.
522
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,000
How are you doing?
523
00:20:54,001 --> 00:20:55,000
Are you okay?
524
00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:59,000
>> Yeah, well, I'm not ready to do
cartwheels or anything, but I'll be fine.
525
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,000
[sighs]
526
00:21:01,001 --> 00:21:09,000
>> I gotta go.
527
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,000
You know, I gotta get
this stuff going here.
528
00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:14,000
You want me to drop you
somewhere or something?
529
00:21:14,001 --> 00:21:16,000
>> No, no, I'm gonna wait here for my mom.
530
00:21:16,001 --> 00:21:20,000
But you can imagine we have
quite a few things to discuss.
531
00:21:20,001 --> 00:21:23,000
>> Run, do not walk to the nearest exit.
532
00:21:23,001 --> 00:21:28,000
>> Gee, I'd love to be here for
that, but I have some stuff to unpack.
533
00:21:28,001 --> 00:21:29,000
[sighs]
534
00:21:29,001 --> 00:21:50,000
>> Hey!
535
00:21:50,001 --> 00:21:52,000
What are you doing in my apartment?
536
00:21:52,001 --> 00:21:53,000
>> It's not your apartment anymore.
537
00:21:53,001 --> 00:21:54,000
I just rented it.
538
00:21:54,001 --> 00:21:55,000
To a lawyer.
539
00:21:55,001 --> 00:21:56,000
Isn't that great?
540
00:21:56,001 --> 00:21:58,000
>> No, no, it's not great.
541
00:21:58,001 --> 00:21:59,000
I'm moving back in.
542
00:21:59,001 --> 00:22:01,000
>> Well, my attorney
friend isn't gonna like that.
543
00:22:01,001 --> 00:22:04,000
Does the word "big fat
lawsuit" mean anything to you?
544
00:22:04,001 --> 00:22:06,000
>> Just tell him you made a mistake.
545
00:22:06,001 --> 00:22:07,000
>> Okay.
546
00:22:07,001 --> 00:22:08,000
Well, I can try.
547
00:22:08,001 --> 00:22:09,811
But I think Hubert
H. Humphrey might
548
00:22:09,823 --> 00:22:12,000
help persuade him, if
you know what I mean.
549
00:22:12,001 --> 00:22:14,000
>> No, no, I have no idea what you mean.
550
00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:15,000
>> What do you think?
551
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,000
A hundred dollar bill!
552
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,000
Hubert H. Humphrey's pictures on it.
553
00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:19,000
>> No, he's not.
554
00:22:19,001 --> 00:22:21,000
>> Oh, yeah, well, then whose is?
555
00:22:21,001 --> 00:22:24,000
>> Benjamin Franklin.
556
00:22:24,001 --> 00:22:25,000
>> Oh, yeah, let me see that.
557
00:22:25,001 --> 00:22:26,000
Hmm, you're right.
558
00:22:26,001 --> 00:22:31,000
>> The joy you're giving
is indeed a pleasure.
559
00:22:31,001 --> 00:22:33,000
Especially when you get rid
of something you don't want.
560
00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:58,000
>> There's no place
like home, is there now?
35797
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof