All language subtitles for The.Golden.Palace.S01E24.WEB.h264-WEBTUBE

♪ Ooh‐ooh‐ooh

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Travel down the road
And back again ♪

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal
And a confidante ♪

♪ And if you threw
A party ♪

♪ Invited everyone
You knew ♪

♪ You would see

♪ The biggest gift
Would be from me ♪

♪ And the card attached
Would say ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

It's gone.
I can't believe it.

Thirty years,
and now it's gone.

Let me guess,
your short‐term memory?

My short‐term memory?

Please.
My short‐term memory.

Who's the Mexican?

Sophia,
what's gone?

My purse.
My purse is gone.
Stolen by some thug.

All right, all right.
Now, tell us what happened.

I'll tell you
what happened.

The economy gets bad,
the people get hungry,

they resort
to car‐jacking.

Car‐jacking?

Oh, yeah.
I borrowed your car.

So they stole my car?

With my purse in it.

The cops say
they could be anyplace

because I had
a full tank of gas.

You filled the tank?

Oh, yeah.
I borrowed your credit card.

I can't believe this.

I better call
the insurance company.

Yeah. We should do
something about this.

Hey, you know what?
Maybe I should teach
a self‐defense seminar.

I'm a blue belt
in taekwondo.

‐A blue belt?
‐Yeah. I could teach you
some maneuvers.

You could invite
some friends over.

I'm not great
or anything.

Terrific. A guy's
coming at me with a gun,

and I can moon him.

How do I look?

Mmm. Fine.

Fine? I spent three hours
getting ready.

Surely you can do
better than that.

I was thinking
the same thing
about you.

Roland, how do I look?

‐You look nice.
‐Nice?

Rose, tell them
how I look.

(sighs) Like a glimmering jewel,

a perfect diamond in a field
of darkness, flawless,
spectacular, and stunning.

Thank you, dear.

You're new
to our little game.

I had better
look my best,

because tonight I have
a very big date
with Bobby Lee.

I don't know
if I mentioned it,
but Bobby Lee's a...

‐all: Cattle baron from Austin.
‐Roland: Yeah.

Well, he is
a cattle baron from Austin,

and I have a feeling
he's going to ask me
a special question tonight.

Oh, yeah? I assumed you were
going out with him 'cause
it's your birthday tomorrow.

Oh, wait. So that's why
Rebecca's coming in.

Yeah, that's right.
Daughters just love to come
watch their mothers get older.

Oh, honey, I'm sure
she's coming to watch
you get fatter, too.

Oh, no,
thank you.

Well, I had
a great time as usual.

Blanche, there's
something I've been
meaning to ask you.

‐I'm 42 years old.
‐(Bob chuckles)

Yeah, you mentioned that.
Uh, so that means you were
born in‐‐

‐Atlanta.
‐(chuckles) Right.

Yeah.
Sit down for a minute,
would you, darling?

Look, what I wanted
to ask is...

Look, Blanche,
I've been a bachelor
too long.

And shoot, you know,
we laugh at all
the same things,

and we have
so much fun together,

‐and we understand
each other, and...
‐(Blanche chuckles)

I don't know. Maybe it's
time to settle down.

I think maybe it is.

So I don't know
how else to ask this.

Blanche...

I want you
to be my wife.

Oh, Bobby Lee!

And bear my babies.

I just don't know
what to say. What?

I want you
to have my kids.

Oh, my God.

Now, believe me,
I know I'm not
a young man,

and I know your
biological clock
is ticking.

Tick‐tock.

So this is something
I want to do right away.

Uh‐huh.

Well, Bobby Lee,
there is something

I have not been
totally honest
with you about.

Well, it seems that‐‐

I know you're not
42 years old, Blanche.

I'm 46 years old?

Blanche.

All right,
I'm even older
than 46.

Blanche,
I don't care
if you're 56.

I'm not.
I swear I'm not.

Blanche, I'm not looking
for a 30‐year‐old wife.

I want to be with you.

And what
I'm talking about
is not impossible.

You know, I've been
a cattle rancher
all my life.

And if there's
something I know about,
it is breeding.

So let's just let
those doctors do
all the worrying.

You just tell me
that you want to have
my children.

Oh, I do,
Bobby Lee Taggert.
I do!

Good morning,
everybody.

I have
an announcement to make.

Come on. Listen.

Bobby Lee has asked
for my hand in marriage,

and I accepted.

‐You did?
‐I did.

I don't know
what to say.

I do.
Congratulations.

Thank you.

Yeah, congratulations.
That's great, Blanche.

Wait a minute.
Wait. There's more.

He also asked me
to have his baby.

And I said yes
to that, too.

‐You did?
‐I did.

I don't know what to say.

I do.
You're old.

Hey, Sophia.

What? She's a fossil.

I am not.

Oh, please.

Come on, Blanche.

Sophia exaggerates,
but she does
make a point.

I think it may be
too late in your life
to have a baby.

I mean, don't you think
maybe that ship has sailed?

That ship has sunk.

Blanche, this is
because you lied about
your age, isn't it?

Blanche: No.

Well, now, at first,
I thought it was,

but then Bobby Lee told me
about this grandmother
in California

that just gave
birth to twins.

Her husband fertilized
the egg of another woman,

and then they implanted it
in her uterus.

(scoffs) Men!

Blanche, I don't know
why you're doing this.

I'll tell you why
she's doing this.

This is all because
of her birthday.

Every year,
you try harder
to stay younger.

That's exactly why
you're getting pregnant.

This is not about
my birthday, Rose.

It is because
I have met a man
I really care about,

and I owe it to him
to try this.

Yeah. But if you want
to have a baby, Blanche,

at least try to talk
to him about adoption.

Yeah, all right.
I suppose that's something
we could consider.

Besides, where are you
going to find an egg?

It has to be
a human one, right?

No, Rose.
I'm going to give birth
to an eight‐pound hamster.

Oh, good luck
trying to get that
into a decent college.

Good afternoon,
everybody,

and welcome
to the self‐defense
seminar today.

I'm your instructor.
My name is Roland Wilson.

And I have achieved the level
of taekwondo blue belt.

(women laughing)

Okay, let's just
settle down.

Okay, we're going
to learn some basic
protective techniques.

Now, did you know
for instance

that anything in your purse
can be used as a weapon?

I know.
It sounds impossible,
but even‐‐

Okay, who threw
the estrogen?

Come on, tell me.
We're not moving on
until somebody tells me.

Did you see
who threw this, sir?

I am not a sir.

Do yourself a favor.

Okay,
before we get started,

let's, let's get
to know everybody.

‐Ma'am, could you
come up here?
‐Oh. Yes.

‐Okay.
What's your name, ma'am?
‐Sylvia.

Sylvia. And why did
you take the class?

Well, my husband
worries about me.

I go on the bus,

and he says
it's too dangerous.

My husband says
that I'm frail and old

and just asking
for trouble.

And what is
your specific goal
with this course?

I'd like
to put the bastard
through a window.

(women cheering)

women:
Way to go! Yeah!

(women cheer and applause)

I guess you're ready
for the combat part

‐of the seminar.
‐Yes.

And playing
our attacker today
is Mr. Chuy Castillos.

‐(Chuy exclaims)
‐(women shrieking)

I'll get you!
I'll get you all!

Aah!
(growls)

Now, Chuy
exaggerates
a little bit

because a real attacker
usually approaches
more cautiously.

They might ask you
for the time

or ask
for directions.

Oh, dear.

Now, there's
two rules
to remember,

number one is volume.

Don't be afraid
to make a lot of noise.

And number two,
never stop walking.

If you stop walking,
you're gonna
be a victim.

‐You'll all be my victims,
all of you!
‐(women screaming)

All right, all right.
Just chill out, man.

Okay, let's, uh...
Let's get started.

We're going to learn
some basic techniques.

Are your pads
in place?

Hey, relax.
I'm the Michelin Man.

I got everything
covered but my shins.

Ow!

(women exclaiming)

Get him!
Get him!
Get him!

Get him! Go!

It was horrible,
all these old hands coming,

‐everybody trying
to rip off a piece of me.
‐Oh.

All I could think of was,
"Boy, that Julio Iglesias

deserves every penny
he makes."

Hi.

Well, how did it go?

Well, Bobby Lee has
no interest in adoption
whatsoever.

He wants
children
of his own.

Well, you're just
going to have
to tell him no.

I mean, where are you
going to find an egg?

I mean, it has to be
someone you're close to,

it has to be someone
whose medical history
you know,

and it has to be somebody

who'll let you
raise the baby.

Mama!

Oh, look,
it's Rebecca.

‐Rebecca!
‐Oh!

Now, Mama,
before we do
anything else,

I've looked
and looked,

and I can't find
a birthday present
for you.

‐Aw.
‐So, don't
make me guess.

Tell me
what you want.

Name anything,
and it's yours.

Oh, honey.

Material things
don't matter.

It's what's inside you
that counts.

Oh, good. I'm so glad
you girls are still up.

I need some advice.

Don't wear puff sleeves.

Makes you look like
Babe Ruth in drag.

Now, get this.

I asked Rebecca
to help me have
this baby.

She says she needs
to think about it.

Can you believe her?

Well, look,
you can't get upset
at Rebecca.

I mean,
this is a big thing.

Maybe she doesn't have
an egg to spare.

Oh, please.

The woman's
an Easter Bunny.

No, she will
turn me down

because she thinks
I ought to act my age.

But damn it, I'm not old,
and I don't feel old.

You ought to feel
under your neck.

Mama, there you are.

Listen, I've been
giving this
a lot of thought,

and I really don't think
this is a good idea.

Pregnancies can be
very complicated,
and at your age‐‐

Rebecca,
don't you lecture me now.

I didn't come down
to lecture you, but

have you thought
about how you're
gonna raise this baby?

The same way
I raised you.

I'll get good people in.

Mama, you're not
helping your
argument here.

Anyhow,
you know I don't think
this is a good idea,

but if you're really
so sold on it,

I'll try to give you
what you need.

Rebecca,
that's wonderful.

But no matter what
you say, you're not
a young woman.

Now, are you sure
you can deal with
a little person

yelling and screaming
at 3:00 in the morning

'cause she needs
to be burped?

I only do that
on sausage night.

(moaning)

Oh, good, you're up.
I can't sleep.

Excited about
the big birthday?

Damn it, Rose,
I told you not to talk
about my birthday.

I'm talking about
your birthday,

I'm talking about
Junior's birthday.

I'm pregnant?
(scoffs)

I don't remember
getting pregnant.

Well, how can you
not remember?

I went to the clinic
with you.

They gave us
the early bird special,

coffee, Danish,
and two eggs.

You got
pregnant, too?

Well, it was
your idea.

You said
anybody could do it.

I guess I forgot
about all the other stuff.

I mean, the morning sickness,
and the varicose veins,
and the craving.

You know
what I crave most?

‐What?
‐Revenge!

‐Hey!
‐How could you
do this to me?

Wait a minute.
It isn't my fault.

How could you
do this to my back?

Yeah, you would think by now
they would have come up
with something

to take the strain
off our backs.

(groaning)

(continues groaning)

Sophia,
how did you
get pregnant?

I shook hands
with Warren Beatty.

You took me to have
an egg implanted.

I did?
(scoffs)

Anyway, it must
be nice having wheels.

It's nice. But you know
what would be better
than wheels?

Brakes! Brakes!

Somebody stop me!
Somebody stop me!

Stop me!
Somebody stop me!

‐Here, here.
Get rid of that thing.
‐There you are.

Just sit down.
Just sit down.

Have a seat.

‐You got her?
‐Wait a minute,
I got her.

I got her.
I got her.

‐Okay. Whoa.
‐Easy. Easy.

‐Whoa.
‐Here we go.

(all grunting)

So, have you had the results
of the ultrasound, Sophia?

Yup, and there's
good news. It's a boy.

‐Oh.
‐Oh.

And he's 35.

Oh!

And he's a dentist.

‐Great.
‐Congratulations.

‐Here, have a toothbrush.
‐Thank you.

Boy, I tell you,
this baby has me
a little queasy.

Me, too.
Whoop.
Want to feel a kick?

‐Sure.
‐How could you
this to me?

Ow!

Hey!

All I said was
anyone can get pregnant.

I didn't mean everyone.

‐Now she tells us.
‐What do you mean?

(groaning)

I am so ugly.

No, you're not,
Roland.

Yes, I am.
I'm fat and I'm ugly.

I hate myself,
I hate my face,

I hate my body,

but what I hate most
are these damn
mood swings.

(laughing)

Oh! (grunting)

Blanche didn't
tell you
about that.

And she also
didn't tell you

you're going to have
to give up sleeping
on your stomach.

I'd give anything
to sleep on my stomach.

Well, that's
not my fault.

It's not like
there's anywhere else
you can carry a baby,

I mean, is there?

(groaning)

Oh!

I... I'd give
a million dollars
to sit in a chair.

Oh,
I'm so sorry.

Oh, this just
isn't right.

‐Ow!
‐I'm so sorry, everybody.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
Um, I'm...

‐I'm sorry.
‐Honey, wake up.

‐Wake up, sweetie.
It's a dream.
‐Oh!

‐Oh, it is?
‐Uh‐huh.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, Rose,
I think I forgot

what it was like
to be pregnant.

Oh, I don't think
I can do this.

What if I never
get my body back?

Oh, you'll get
your body back.

It'll just be
all stretched out of shape.

Oh, no, I definitely
cannot do this.

You know, I never thought
I'd say this, Rose,

but I'm old.

Blanche Devereaux is old.

You are not old,
Blanche.

You're just too old
to have babies.

No, I'm old.

And, in a strange way,
I feel free saying it.

Liberated by the truth.

Well, then you just
have to tell Bobby Lee
you can't have his babies.

Well, of course I can't.
I'm old!

How old
are you, Blanche?

Old enough to know that
you can't measure age
in years.

You measure it
by the number
of friends you have.

How many friends
do you have?

Forty‐two.

Excuse me.
I'm looking for

a Sophia Petrillo.
Does she live here?

That's her purse.
Where did you
find that?

I'm the parking valet
at the hotel next door.

She left her car
with us yesterday.

She valet‐parked
the car.

Hey, that's my purse.
That's the guy!
That's the guy!

Get him!
Get him!

Roland: Hey, ladies!

Ladies, come on.
Please control yourself!

Ooh, good knee, Sophia.

She just hit him like‐‐

Hey, stop that, ladies!

Bad ladies!
Bad ladies!

Rose: Oh.

Oh, there you are.

Have you had a chance
to talk to Bobby Lee?

No. No,
not yet. Oh,

here he is now.

Oh, Rose,
I don't think
I can do this.

Well, honey, now,
you have to.

You just have to,
and I'll be here for you.

I'll be sticking
right by your side.

I'm glue, baby.
I ain't going anywhere.

Okay.

Hey, a dime!

Oh!

Blanche:
Hi, Bobby Lee.

‐Hi, Blanche.
‐Hi, honey.

Listen,
there's something I want
to talk to you about.

‐Yeah.
‐It's, uh...

It's about us having
a baby, Bobby Lee.

See, I just
don't think that‐‐

Blanche, I know what
you're worrying about,

and I just want
to tell you,

we've got to take
the bull by the horns,

and just face it.
Its... it's true.

It's true?

Then you mean
you think that I'm‐‐

I'm sterile.
I can't get you pregnant.

(mouthing)

Aw, Bobby Lee.

Yeah, I went
and got tested today,

and I got
a really low sperm count,

but it's not
because I'm old.

‐I'm not old.
‐I'm not old either.

No.

So I guess you never
want to see me again, huh?

Well, honey,
of course I do!

But we don't have to rush
right into marriage either.

Maybe we just ought
to face the fact
that we're...

That you're...
approaching middle age.

But, hey, we can still
have fun together.

That would be wonderful.

Oh. Oh.

Boy.

And to think that I got
a whole freezer full
of bull sperm at home.

Well, water,
water everywhere,
huh, Blanche?

I'll call you later,
darling.

‐Okay. (chuckles)
‐Bye.

Well, where is he?
I want to meet the man

that's going
to marry my mama

and father my baby.

Well, it turned out
that he was too old.

He was too old?

All right,
I'm too old.

Is that what
you want to hear, Rebecca?

That you were right
in lecturing me

because I'm nothing
but a vain foolish woman

who refuses
to act her age?

Mama, I lecture you

because you are
a beautiful, elegant,
intelligent woman

who doesn't
need to act
like a teenager.

Don't you see?

I want you
to be proud
of who you are,

'cause, Mama,
I sure am.

Oh, baby.
I am so stupid.

Here, I've been
working so hard trying
to have another child,

when I've got
one right here

I'll just never
learn enough about.

Rebecca Jean, how'd you
ever get so smart?

Hey, we're only as smart
as our parents.

Oh.

Maybe you're not
my real mother.

Hey,
come here, you.

Happy birthday,
Mama.

Come on, come on,
come on.

Oh, hold that elevator.

‐Hold it.
‐Come on.

‐Oh, been jogging?
‐Yeah.

woman: There he is!

Get him!
Get him!

(women groaning)

I forgot
my hot milk.

(women screaming)