All language subtitles for The.Golden.Palace.S01E23.WEB.h264-WEBTUBE

♪ Ooh‐ooh‐ooh ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Travel down the road
And back again ♪

♪ Your heart is true ♪

♪ You're a pal
And a confidante ♪

♪ And if you threw
A party ♪

♪ Invited everyone
You knew ♪

♪ You would see ♪

♪ The biggest gift
Would be from me ♪

♪ And the card attached
Would say ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

Man, this is
my least favorite
time of year‐‐

Spring break.
It's the worst.

I mean, people
drunk everywhere.
orgies in the streets.

Kids running
around
in togas.

It's not even like Miami.
It's like ancient Rome.

Ancient Rome
was never like that.

Sure every now
and then we'd get
a bad emperor, but...

I'm showing my age,
aren't I?

You know what?
This year I'm ready
for these college kids.

If they wanna try and
sneak beer in the room,
they gotta go by me.

If they wanna try and
sneak a little friend in the
room, they gotta go by me.

If they wanna
go skinny‐dipping in
that pool, they'll gotta‐‐

Blanche:
Go by me.

Come on boys,
I'll show you up
to your rooms.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!
No more than five
guys at a time.

Yeah and don't
overload the
elevator either.

Sophia,
these are
children.

Why I have made it
abundantly clear to
these young gentlemen

that I'm a trained
working professional
of this hotel,

and I'm only here to
provide professional
services.

So, in spite
of your
insinuations,

I'm neither
a tart nor
a floozy.

I'm a
massage
technician.

You know,
when kids look
at people my age,

‐they have certain
expectations.
‐Mm‐hmm.

And you feel an obligation to be
mature and wise. Don't you?

No, mean.
Mean as sin.

Old people
scare the hell
out of 'em.

Hey, you.
No running
indoors.

What a rush.

Can I
help you?

Hi, my name's
Benson. I'm
checking in.

Okay, Benson.
You're in room
201.

What do you got
in the trunk...
Benson?

‐Clothes.
‐(chuckles) Clothes?

All right let me
tell you who you're
dealing with.

I'm Roland Wilson, baby.
I know every trick
in the book.

Man, you got a friend
in here and you're trying
to sneak him in.

‐But that's not gonna happen
‐No, I don't. Honest.

Well, let's just
have a little look
see inside.

‐No man, there's no need‐‐
‐Open it, Benson.

Look. I just want
to check in to...
Room 201!

All right.
You're clean...

But I'm going
to be watching you.

College kids,
huh?

Yeah man,
but I'm up
to them.

You know, I had my party
days when I was with my frat.

Yeah, me, the stooge, creeper,
snake‐‐ Man, we had some
great times.

Stooge, creeper,
and the snake?

Yeah. You know when guys in
a frat together and they like
each other

they give each other
these great nicknames.
And it was kind of a tradition.

‐Oh, yeah,
what was yours?
‐Roland.

Hey man,
where'd you
go to college?

Me?
I didn't, man.

See back in the 60s,
the government had this
alternative program

for minorities
who couldn't
afford college.

What the heck was
the name of it?
Oh, yeah. Vietnam.

And it was before
I shipped out, me and
my buddies got together

‐we had our
own spring break.
‐Really? What'd you do?

Oh you know, the usual partied
all night, met a girl, built
a 43‐foot burrito.

It was almost a world
record too man,

except we ate it before
we could get the Guinness
people down there.

Man, I wish I had
another shot at that.

Wait a minute, why would
you build a 43‐foot burrito?

Same reason Picasso painted
noses on the sides
of women faces.

Oh, because he was
a great artist?

Is that why he did that?

Wow! I did that burrito
because I was wasted.

Has Charlene
arrived yet?

No, she should
have been here
an hour ago

I better call the
airport at St. Olaf
and check on the flight.

I didn't know
St. Olaf had an airport.

Well, of course it has silly,
it's a major metropolitan area.

Hello. Yes, is this
St. Olaf International Airport?

Oh, yes I can hold.

He's giving someone a haircut.

Hello, Grandma.

Charlene, oh,
honey. Am I glad
to see you.

I brought you
a copy of the
St. Olaf news.

Oh, thank you,
sweetheart.

Oh, it's so nice to see
comics on the front page
where they belong.

Oh, we're gonna have
such good times. We're
gonna have tea parties

and braid each
other's hair.

Actually, Grandma,
I'd like you to meet
my boyfriend, Rick.

‐Rick: Hi.
‐He'll be staying here
this weekend.

Oh, silly me. You brought
a boy with you. Well,
you know what? I think

it's almost long enough
I think his hair will
braid up just fine.

Actually, Grandma,
we thought we'd go
jet‐skiing this afternoon.

Oh, that sounds exciting.

Yeah and tonight we thought
we check out some of the clubs.

‐That sounds like fun.
‐And we thought Rick
and I could share a room.

Sounds like a cold day in hell.

Benson.
Hold it.

‐What?
‐Come here.

Come, come,
come here.
Open the coat.

What? I don't
have no beer
in this.

Just open
the coat.

Aha. Ha ha.
Just as
I thought.

Well,
Mr. Sneaky...

Guess you're not
as sneaky as you
thought you were.

Are you, Mr. Sneaky?

I'm sorry.
I just wanted a sip of it.

You know,
to get that crazy feeling.

Pretty
irresponsible,
aren't I?

No.
Don't worry about it.

I just don't want
that kind of thing
happening in this hotel.

I was stupid
to even try.

You bet you were.

Hey, sorry
about that
Mr. Sneaky crack.

Forgotten.

(softly) All right.

Sophia, table one is
threatening to eat
some place else,

if you don't get
their dinner on the
table in two minutes.

I'll take care
of it.

Listen, you kids.

Don't mess with my work
furlough program.

I can't promise
I won't kill again.

Did you see
the terror in
their eyes?

Kids, you
gotta love' em.

Hey, Blanche, I'd like
you to reconsider this
giant burrito.

The answer is no.

Blanche doesn't the idea
of a 43‐foot burrito
excite you?

I must be
getting jaded.
No.

Grandma, can
I talk to you for
a second?

Oh, sure you
can, honey.

You know, it's
funny, but of all
the people I know,

you know, you're
the only one I can
really open up to.

I feel like I can
tell you anything
and not be judged.

Well, sweetheart I'm
always here for you.
What's on your mind?

Well, Rick and I have
been dating for about
a year now, and,

oh, I really like
him. And, well,

I'm not sure,
but I'm thinking about
having sex with him.

I see, um... Charlene,
do you remember that little
song I used to sing to you

whenever you had
trouble deciding
the right thing to do?

♪ He knows when you
Are sleeping ♪

♪ He knows when
You're awake ♪

Grandma.

♪ He knows when you've
Been bad or good ♪

♪ So be good
For goodness' sake ♪

Everybody,
sing.

♪ You better
Not cry ♪

‐♪ You better not‐‐ ♪
‐Grandma! Grandma!
(sighs)

Grandma,
this is serious.

I really, really
need some advice.

Well, honey,
back in St. Olaf,

when girls would get
thoughts like, like the
ones you're having now,

the clergy would put us to
work paving that little dirt
road in front of the church

until the thoughts
just went away.

I don't remember
any dirt road.

Well, you know it as
the Minneapolis turnpike.

And now
the sting.

What's up,
dawg?

Yeah.
(chuckles)

Hey, man,
can you believe
this place?

They got no
security at all.

Man, when
I leave, Imma
take the ashtrays,

the towels, I may
even take my dresser.
(chuckles)

What chu
gonna take, G?

I wouldn't put
any of this ugly
stuff in my house.

It's a nice place man,
they got some nice stuff.

Well, be careful.
There's always
one undercover cop

tryna pass
themselves off
as one of these kids

I know man,
it's usually
the real lope

who's trying real hard
to look young and hip
but can't quite cut it.

Thanks for the tip,
Officer.

Officer?
Man, I ain't no cop.
Oh, what's the use?

Roland,
what's the matter?

I know, these
kids are wrecking
the hotel,

but I can't
catch them.

And I can't
wait to get
them outta here.

Honey,
we can't afford
lose to them.

But Blanche,
we can't afford
to have them here.

Whether you
see the damage.

(thunder rumbling)

Well, the weather
report says it's gonna
storm all weekend.

Maybe we should
go to Key West
where it's sunny.

kids: Yeah! Let's go!

Roland, Roland,
we need their
business.

Oh, if they leave
we're going to lose
a fortune.

Oh, there must be
something fun these
kids can do indoors.

Hey, we could still go
for that world's record.

Chuy,
for the
last time,

I will have
nothing to do with
a 43‐foot burrito.

(thunder rumbling)

All right! Let's
get that giant
burrito moving!

Slowly
I'll cook,
bean by bean,

tortilla
by tortilla...

And soon I shall
stand in front of my
greatest creation‐‐

The 43‐foot
burrito!
(chuckles)

Bet you can't
eat just one.

Blanche,
have you
seen Charlene?

Oh, yes. We
had a very nice
little chat.

Really,
about what?

Oh, this and that.
That and this.
Sex.

You didn't.

Charlene needed guidance
and you wouldn't give it,

so I gave her
a little advice.

I told her to approach
her budding sexuality
the same way I did.

Blanche, you're crazy
if you think I'm going
to let Charlene

paint a bull's‐eye
on any part of her body.

Charlene, open up.
Tell me you didn't
listen to Blanche.

Oh, no.
I'm too late.

You are
in big trouble.
You...

No, no, no, no,
no. Grandma,
you got it all wrong.

We're just getting
ready for our
snorkeling lesson.

Look at
his equipment.

I will not.

I'll be downstairs.

How could you
embarrass me like that?

This is all
Blanche's fault.

I mean, this was
going to be such
a wonderful week

and now
she had to go
and ruined it.

All I wanted to do was
spend some time with you.

No, grandma. You want to spend
some time with some little girl
who's not here anymore.

And if you can't see me
for who I am,

then I can't stay here.

Oh, Charlene, no.
C‐char, come back.
I‐‐

I'm just trying to
protect your reputation.

(knock on door)

Charlene ready?

Oh, no. Word's
gotten out already.

All right,
boil that
rice.

Come on,
grate that
cheese.

Hey, stir
those
beans.

Hitler, Stalin,
and now you.

What are you saying, Sophia,
that I've turned into some
kind of dictator?

No. I was just thinking how much
younger the three of you would
look without the mustache.

Hey, this burrito
thing's a kick.

This is not
just a burrito,
Sophia.

This record
is my shot
at immortality.

By the time I'm done
with this burrito, it'll
be limber, yet firm...

Taut, yet soft
and supple
to the touch.

All the curves
in all the
right places.

Man,
I need
a woman.

All right,
everybody.
Take a break.

Rose: Any word
from Charlene?

No.

Oh,
I'm so
furious.

This is all
Blanche's fault

that she's out there
somewhere in the rain,
with no place to stay.

Rose Nylund,
you open this door
and let me in.

And God only knows
where Charlene is.

I was only doing
what I thought best.

I don't want
to talk about it.

Come on, Rose, surely
this must've come up
with your own daughters.

Things were different back
then. I mean, nobody would
consider having sex

in the same
building with
a parent.

People were a lot more
discreet back then, huh?

No. We all drove
really big cars.

(sighs) You know, it's not easy
for fathers once their daughters
start dating.

Oh, tell
me about it.

There was always one kid
in every town who scared
the hell out of all the daddies,

you know, the kind of rebel
who wouldn't think twice

about climbing in the bedroom
window late at night, or

pretending to run out of gas
on a lonely country road,

or getting somebody drunk
just in order to have
their way with them.

Yes, sir.
I had quite a bag of tricks.

I'll never forget picking
up Dolores at her father's
house for our first date.

I knock on the door
and suddenly
I'm face to face

with this 300 pound monster with
hairy arms opening a beer bottle
through broken teeth.

And what was
her father like?

Hey, guys,
listen to this.

I was just at the lobby right
and there's this kid out there
being really loud and obnoxious

and just as I open
my mouth to tell him
to knock it off,

this strange voice
came out of me

and then suddenly,
I just realized something.

We have a ventriloquist
here at the hotel?

No, Rose. It occurred
to me that I sound
just like my dad.

Yeah, I was getting ready
to yell at this kid the same way
that my dad used to yell at me.

(scoffs)
It's weird, man.
I'm starting to get old.

Roland, don't you think
you're being a little silly?

No. I'm telling you something
is making me old before my time,
I just wish I knew what it was.

I
don't
know.

It's
anybody's
guess.

Beats me.

Tums?

Oh, Roland,
what you're feeling
isn't all that unusual.

Even I on occasion have
worried about growing older.

Get out of here.

Yes, I'm telling you
menopause was very
difficult for me.

Oh, I don't want
to hear this.

Tell him about
your hot flashes.

Oh, honey, they were
faster than a strobe
light at a gay disco.

I really don't
want to hear this.

The change hit me overnight.
I went to bed one night,
young and beautiful,

the next morning I looked like
a Barbie doll that somebody
left on the radiator.

But you don't
want to hear this.

No, oddly enough.
That one I didn't mind too much.

Well, it's a good thing you
didn't mind it, because it
happens to everybody.

I mean people grow. They change.

I mean, nobody can
be expected to just stay

at the same stage
throughout their life.

Really?

Isn't that what
you're asking
Charlene to do?

I guess I am.

‐(softly) Give me a second?
‐(softly) Yeah.

Hi, Grandma.

Charlene, honey,
are you okay?

Yeah. I'm fine.

Look, I'm sorry I didn't call
last night. Rick and I stayed
at another hotel.

No... Before you
tell me about
last night,

I want to apologize.
I mean, you came to
me with a problem,

and I wasn't
there for you.

But I want you to know that
whatever decision you've
reached, I'll accept.

Rick and I didn't sleep
together last night.

Oh, you're a good girl.

You're a good,
clean girl!
Ohh... Ho ho.

Last night I was too upset
about what happened
between you and me

that I didn't
get to decide.

But I‐‐ I don't know
what I'm gonna do
about tonight.

So, do you think
now we can talk?

Well, honey, the truth is
I‐‐ I can't make that
decision for you.

‐I mean, only you can.
‐(sighs) Yeah.

But I can tell you
what I did.

I waited until
after I was married.

I mean, that doesn't make
me better or somebody
else worse.

Anyway, when the time
is right, you'll know.
And I can tell you this.

You're going to enjoy it
a lot more if you're in love.

That's funny.
That's exactly
what Blanche said.

‐Blanche told you
to wait?
‐Uh‐huh.

Our Blanche,
Blanche Devereaux...
told you to wait?

Yeah. She said that I would
know when the time is right.

Well, that doesn't sound
like Blanche.

Actually, she said
I would know when the many,
many times were right.

(mimicking Blanche)
The many, many,
many times...

Oh, yeah. That sounds
like Blanche.

Oh, honey, I'm
sorry I was so
hard to talk to.

I think
I just miss
the little girl

I used to
color with and
play dolls with.

Actually, Grandma,
we never played together.
I just sort of watched you.

Well, I miss
the company.

So, do you have any big
plans for the rest of the day?

Well, I thought we'd do
some sightseeing,
catch a movie.

Aw, Rick will enjoy that.

No, Grandma.
I thought I'd do
that with you.

(softly)
Oh, honey.

‐Let's go get you
a snack.
‐Okay. (chuckles)

Hey, what gives?
Who put the padlock
on my door?

Party's over,
sneaky.

What are you
talking about?

Face it, sneaky.
You've been outsnucked.

I know you've been hiding
extra kids up in your room

and they're gonna stay there
under lock and key until you
cough up the extra dough.

‐But I don't‐‐
‐Eh, save it, sneaky man.

Look, you may
have fooled
me once.

You may have
fooled me twice.

But this time I'm
way ahead of you.
So look...

We're gonna
go up to
your room,

and every extra kid
I find up there you're
gonna pay for, all right?

‐Fair enough.
‐All right.

All right,
sneaklings,
you're busted.

‐Roland: Sophia!
‐Ah! What?

kids:
Ohhh!

And now...
We measure it.

(all chanting) Chuy! Chuy!

Chuy! Chuy!

Chuy! Chuy!

Chuy! Chuy!

Chuy! Chuy!

Chuy! Chuy!

Chuy! Chuy!
Chuy! Chuy!

43 feet, 2 inches.
Did you hear that?

43 feet, 2 inches!
A new world's record!

(cheering)

(all chanting) Chuy! Chuy!

Chuy! Chuy!

Oh, Chuy,
what a cute
little burrito.

Blanche, we just set
a new world's record.

Oh, that's nice.

Nice? Do you any idea
how big it is?

Um... 43 feet, 2 inches?

(all chanting) Blanche! Blanche!

Blanche! Blanche!

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Can I say
something?

You know Chuy, now
that I've seen how
hard you worked and,

how important this burrito
is to you, there's something
I feel compelled to tell you.

What is it, Sophia?

I can't find my watch
and I'm going in.

Whoa, whoa, stop!
Wait, Sophia.

In an hour, the guys
from the record
book get here.

And I've waited 24 years
for this and nothing
can stop me now.

‐Listen, everybody,
we've got a problem.
‐Blanche: Why what's the matter?

They've just issued
a flash flood warning
on the news.

They want all the businesses
to use whatever means necessary

to keep water damage
at a minimum.

Well, we'll just get
some sandbags from
the fire department.

We don't have time for
that. No, we have to use
everything around here

that's able to soak
up lots and lots of water.

Oh, no!
No, no, no, no!
No, no, no!

‐Chuy, it's our
only chance.
‐Forget it. No way!

We have to make
some kind of sacrifice.

How about if we
throw the old lady
into the volcano.

‐How can that help?
‐How can it hurt?

Ohh, okay.

‐But can I save
3 feet of it?
‐Why?

To break the record. Before this
world's largest burrito is only
is 2 feet, 11 inches.

‐(chanting) Kill Chuy!
‐(all chanting) Kill Chuy!

Kill Chuy! Kill Chuy!

Kill Chuy! Kill Chuy!

Kill Chuy! Kill Chuy!

Well, they
got past me
last year.

Okay, okay
they got past
me this year.

But from now on,
no other kid is getting
out of this hotel

without paying
their bill.

Good
evening.

Have a nice evening,
sir.

We will.

You see,
I've got like
this radar.

Which allows
me to hone right
in on, um...