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1
00:00:00,634 --> 00:00:03,804
♪ Ooh‐ooh‐ooh ♪
2
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,874
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
3
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:10,444
♪ Travel down the road
And back again ♪
4
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:12,212
♪ Your heart is true
5
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:15,415
♪ You're a pal
And a confidante ♪
6
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:20,721
♪ And if you threw
A party ♪
7
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:24,558
♪ Invited everyone
You knew ♪
8
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,326
♪ You would see
9
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,996
♪ The biggest gift
Would be from me ♪
10
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,498
♪ And the card attached
Would say ♪
11
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,467
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
12
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,602
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
13
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,704
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
14
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,072
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
15
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:10,404
You know, I just
can't believe that it
took us seven months
16
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:13,807
to come up
with this grand
reopening party.
17
00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:16,043
Oh, it's gonna be
such a big weekend
for us.
18
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,712
Man, I'm gonna
scrub that kitchen
from top to bottom.
19
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,715
It'll be so clean,
you'll be able to eat
off the kitchen floor.
20
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,617
No, no, I
want to sit
at a table.
21
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,352
I want to sit
at a table.
22
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:28,722
Sorry,
Shady Pines flashback.
23
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,860
Hey, I'm not taking
any chances.
24
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:35,629
I even got rat poison
for out by the dumpster.
25
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,497
Very nice.
Very nice.
26
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:40,300
It's good to see
everybody just
standing around.
27
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,603
We got this news
crew coming for
this reopening.
28
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,571
We gotta pull together
here, work as a team.
29
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,573
Well sign me up.
What can I do to help?
30
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,275
Lock yourself
in your room
till Monday.
31
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,779
Oh, I get it.
32
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,314
Everybody thinks
that dumb Rose
33
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,582
is gonna do
something stupid
34
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,351
and mess up
our opening.
35
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,653
Don't think I don't
know what my nickname
is around here,
36
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,288
and it really hurts.
37
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:04,191
Oh, look, Gilligan
has feelings.
38
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,694
Well what would you
say if I told you
39
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,630
that I got
Gerald Davenport,
40
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,698
Florida's most acclaimed
restaurant critic,
41
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,934
to come here tomorrow
night? (sighs)
42
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,003
What would you say
to little Gilligan then?
43
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:18,338
Well, I'd say
good work,
little buddy.
44
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:23,644
Oh, no. Not Gerald
"The Finer Diner"
Davenport.
45
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,145
Well, I didn't catch
his middle name,
46
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,381
but he is a
restaurant critic.
47
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:30,217
No, Rose. The
finer diner's the
name of his column.
48
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:31,785
Davenport, I hate
that little runt.
49
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,754
he gave me the
worst review
of my life.
50
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:37,658
‐What did he say?
‐He said my cooking
was banal.
51
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,725
Oh.
52
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,627
And when I looked it up,
boy, was I mad.
53
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:43,897
Well, I'm
sorry, Chuy.
54
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:47,134
I would never have
invited the man here
if I had known.
55
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,502
Hey, don't sweat it.
56
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:50,404
You know, some guys
get real macho
about these things,
57
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:51,972
but, hey, I'm over it.
58
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:55,409
If he thinks my salads are
banal, then my salads are
banal. Who cares?
59
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:58,612
Yeah, you know, I always
did think the salads around
here were kind of plain.
60
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,080
‐I'll cut you, man.
‐Whoa, whoa!
61
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,114
Chuy, Chuy!
62
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,455
Well, sir, I am so
sorry the airline
lost your bag.
63
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,424
We'll send it right
up just as soon as
they deliver it.
64
00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:11,625
Oh, thank you.
65
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,560
I own a chain
of travel agencies,
66
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,729
and it is so refreshing
to meet someone
67
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:18,165
as bright and on
the ball as you are.
68
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,834
And by the way,
that's a most
interesting brooch.
69
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,636
‐Amethyst?
‐No. Lutheran.
70
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,144
Of course, the pin
has no religious
significance.
71
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:35,249
‐It's just a little duck.
‐(guest chuckles)
72
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,419
Oh, yes,
well... um...
73
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:42,089
‐It's right up those stairs.
‐Thank you. Thank you.
74
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,925
I'm really nervous
about this food
critic coming here.
75
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,793
Oh, we all
are, Chuy.
76
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,996
Look at Sophia.
She's a basket case.
77
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,337
You know,
I'm not so
upset now
78
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,173
about missing
that King Tut
exhibit.
79
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:06,246
Chuy,
that negative review
was a long time ago.
80
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,781
He's written
thousands since.
81
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,416
Probably didn't even
remember you.
82
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,785
Good evening.
My name is...
83
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,988
Chuy Castillos.
84
00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:18,058
Oh, my gosh.
What a coincidence.
85
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,627
Our cook is named
Chuy Castillos.
86
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:23,897
Isn't that
something?
87
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,166
Hey, Davenport.
It's been a
long time.
88
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:30,337
Well, I still remember
your last meal vividly.
89
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:33,240
Didn't you get
that postcard
from my colon,
90
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,976
"wish you were here"?
91
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,417
Well, I think you'll
be very surprised
92
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,385
by the meal
I have prepared
for you tonight.
93
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,621
Does it involve food,
94
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:51,191
or will I be
making another
run for the border?
95
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,296
(mumbling)
96
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:59,266
Why, that cranky,
little stuck‐up troll...
97
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,335
I think I'm in love.
98
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,306
Look at him.
99
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,542
Davenport just took
two bites of my
lobster Newburg,
100
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,077
and he hasn't
touched it since.
101
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,246
I made it
especially
for him.
102
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,248
Just sitting there,
motionless, like a
zombie.
103
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,583
I know. It's making
me hot too.
104
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,190
Ahem.
105
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:25,692
Well, Mr. Davenport,
106
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,561
How's that lobster
Newburg tonight?
(chuckles)
107
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,332
Uh, Mr. Davenport?
(chuckles)
108
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,068
Hello.
109
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,205
Hello, Mr. Da‐‐
110
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,945
Uh‐oh.
111
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:50,951
Uh, well, I guess
that meal's pretty
good then, huh?
112
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,521
Ooh! (chuckles)
113
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,126
Thank you, sir.
You're too kind.
114
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,761
Well, you enjoy
your meal.
115
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:01,962
I'm just gonna
go back here.
116
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,565
Oh, my God.
117
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:05,899
Chuy, what's wrong?
118
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:07,835
It's Davenport,
he's gone.
119
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:11,271
‐Gone where?
‐You know, to
a better place.
120
00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:12,472
Where?
121
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,707
The Fontainebleau.
122
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:18,946
He's trying to tell
you the guy is dead,
you moron.
123
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,714
Dead? How can
that be?
124
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:22,783
He was fine
five minutes ago.
125
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:25,819
Look, I took his pulse.
It's not too tough
to count up to zero.
126
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,290
Why is it all the
cute guys are either
married or dead?
127
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:35,195
We can't let this ruin
the grand opening for
the other guests.
128
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:38,665
We've got to get the body
out of there before someone
notices it.
129
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:41,168
Sophia, you create
a diversion for the
other guests.
130
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,737
‐Like what?
‐I don't know.
131
00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:46,340
Tell them there are
topless volleyball
players on the beach.
132
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,009
‐Got it.
‐Honey, you sure
you've got it?
133
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:52,379
‐Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Topless volleyball players.
‐Yeah. Okay.
134
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,825
Hey, look, out
on the beach,
135
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:05,893
a dead body.
136
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:06,927
guest: No way.
137
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,206
Get the cart,
get the cart.
138
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:20,874
...
139
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,011
(grunts)
140
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:30,984
Oh, real
smooth, Sophia.
141
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,486
(imitating Sophia)
Look, a dead body.
142
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,224
Hey, what's
going on in the
dining room‐‐
143
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:38,825
Mr. Davenport,
you all right?
144
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:39,893
He's dead.
145
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,663
Ooh!
Oh, my God!
146
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:45,766
Oh, man!
I didn't want to
touch a dead guy.
147
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,401
I don't want
to touch the unliving.
148
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:48,735
Get a hold of
yourself, Roland.
149
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,137
Yeah, but it's a dead dude,
150
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,339
and he's touching our,
our stuff.
151
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,642
A man has
died here.
152
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,278
Now I think we
should have a
moment of silence
153
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,447
to honor
our fellow
human being.
154
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,216
‐Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
‐Don't you?
155
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,118
(telephone rings)
156
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,355
Golden Palace.
157
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,458
Yes, as a
matter of fact,
158
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,328
a table has
just opened in
the dining room.
159
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:21,168
Well,
at least he'll never call
your food banal again.
160
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,837
Hey, look, I want you to
really know I had nothing
to do with this.
161
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:25,405
There's nothing wrong
with my lobster Newburg.
162
00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:27,841
I make it the way
I always make it.
Look, look...
163
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:29,643
Cream...
164
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,211
Sherry...
165
00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:32,279
Rat poison.
166
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,718
Oh, my God.
It was a mistake.
167
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,653
It looks just
like cornstarch.
168
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,221
Except where
the Indian girl was,
169
00:08:41,255 --> 00:08:42,589
there's a rat in
an electric chair.
170
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:48,195
Oh, my God,
I've killed a man.
171
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,630
I killed Davenport.
172
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:52,533
I... I must have
subconsciously
wanted him dead.
173
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,535
No, Chuy, look, don't
jump to conclusions
all right.
174
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,637
Now, this was
a very old man.
175
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,772
Look, uh, I know
somebody at the
coroner's office.
176
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:00,674
I'm just going
to run upstairs
and call him.
177
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,442
Maybe we can keep
this thing quiet.
178
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:04,244
And I better
tell Blanche.
179
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,781
Boy, it's sad.
180
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:10,584
You work hard
all your life
and for what?
181
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:13,820
It's times like this
that make you stop
and ponder...
182
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:16,356
Wow!
Nice Rolex.
183
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,664
Here's another
of our owners,
Rose Nylund.
184
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,732
Rose, this is
the Channel 3
news team
185
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,701
here to cover
our reopening.
186
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:31,471
Now, Rose here
was single‐handedly
responsible
187
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:33,907
for getting that
highly acclaimed
restaurant critic
188
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:37,444
‐Mr. Gerald Davenport
here to the hotel.
‐Impressive.
189
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,779
Oh,
it was nothing, really.
190
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,782
Don't mention it.
Please don't mention it.
191
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,652
She's just
being modest.
(chuckles)
192
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:48,255
Hey, I don't see
Mr. Gerald Davenport
around anywhere.
193
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,023
Did he like
his food?
194
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,959
Two bites
and he was in heaven.
195
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:00,667
Well, if you'll
follow me to
the kitchen,
196
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:04,438
I'll introduce
you to our chef
Chuy Castillos.
197
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,907
Give me two
seconds to
straighten up.
198
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,315
Quick,
get Tommy toe‐tag
into the freezer.
199
00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:17,050
The joint's lousy
with newsies.
200
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,364
And this is our
kitchen, where
our chef Chuy
201
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,633
prepares his
culinary surprises.
202
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:33,667
Ho!
203
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,439
‐In the seven months
we've been here,
‐(Rose whispering)
204
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:42,543
there's been only
one complaint.
205
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,280
Well, as
investigative
reporters,
206
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,581
I'm sure
you wouldn't
want to miss
207
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,183
the tacky makeshift
living quarters
208
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:51,985
we have for our
Latino employees
in the back.
209
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,053
Oh, oh! Yeah!
210
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,189
They got me
living in squalor
back here.
211
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,090
It'll be great
on the 11:00 news.
212
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:03,096
Dead? You mean
he dropped dead
just like that?
213
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,299
Lord, why does everything
happen to me?
214
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,169
Now we got
a corpse in
the freezer,
215
00:11:09,203 --> 00:11:11,438
a camera crew
snooping around
the hotel,
216
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,574
and a travel agent
whose bad recommendation
217
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:16,343
could just ruin
our reopening.
What next?
218
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,412
Al Tucker,
health inspector.
219
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,432
It's time for
your quarterly
inspection.
220
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,201
You know, check
the refrigerators,
freezers.
221
00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:44,271
(laughs) Rose, did
you hear that?
222
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,406
Health inspector
wants to check
the freezer.
223
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,809
(chuckles)
I'm way
ahead of you.
224
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,912
Uh, can I get you
something before
we begin, Mr. Tucker?
225
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:54,314
‐A Coffee? Tea?
‐No, thanks.
226
00:11:54,348 --> 00:11:57,317
I just need to check
your, uh, need to
check your walk‐in.
227
00:11:57,351 --> 00:11:59,887
Oh! Well, I'm not
at all surprised.
228
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,890
If there's one thing
men like to check,
it's my walk‐in...
229
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,494
Not to mention
my talkin'...
(chuckles)
230
00:12:07,528 --> 00:12:10,831
‐And my lovin'...
‐Aah... I... I...
231
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,766
See, I meant
your walk‐in
freezer.
232
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,902
Well, I know
what you meant,
233
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,937
but I can't
let you do that.
234
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,139
Well, you're
gonna have to
235
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,942
or I'll be forced to write
up a violation and close
down the restaurant.
236
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:26,013
Oh, now Mr. Tucker,
please don't put me
in this position.
237
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:28,182
And that's not something
you'll hear Blanche say
every day.
238
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:34,154
Well, I guess
I could start with
the refrigerator.
239
00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:35,989
Yeah, oh, why
don't you just
get yourself
240
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:38,192
a nice glass of fresh
orange juice?
241
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,595
You know, it's so
nice how fresh juice
tastes so sensual
242
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:42,996
without being caloric.
243
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,831
Yeah, like bananas.
Uh‐huh,
244
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,034
a healthy romp through
the world of fruit
245
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,703
without the hangover
of candied snacks.
246
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,271
Or how about
a cheese ball?
247
00:12:51,305 --> 00:12:52,940
What are you
talking about?
248
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,541
Mister, I'm gonna
level with you.
249
00:12:54,575 --> 00:12:55,876
I'm a lusty
woman.
250
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:59,379
A lusty, busty, zesty
cowgirl that likes
to ride all night.
251
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:17,297
(chuckles) Miss, uh...
ahem... Miss Devereaux,
I...
252
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,502
I, I... I just want to
check your freezer.
253
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,172
Why didn't you say so,
it's right over there.
254
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,247
Oh, there
you are.
255
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,581
We couldn't find
the workers' huts,
256
00:13:34,615 --> 00:13:36,250
and your cook just
took off somewhere.
257
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,819
Is there something
going on at this hotel?
258
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:43,223
Well, I'm probably not
supposed to tell you this,
259
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:46,226
but Salman Rushdie
is in 205...
260
00:13:49,463 --> 00:13:51,131
And he's with
Joan Van Ark.
261
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,799
‐(gasps) Of Knots Landing?
‐ Yes.
262
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:53,834
Come on.
263
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:59,740
Oh, I see the airline
just dropped off my
luggage.
264
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,745
Uh, Roland, would
you please take this
up to my room?
265
00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:06,380
‐It would be my
pleasure, sir.
‐Thank you.
266
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:09,449
Uh, don't have any
cash on me right now.
Tip you later.
267
00:14:09,483 --> 00:14:11,585
Don't worry about it.
No problem at all.
268
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:13,754
God! Why do I
always have to
carry the stiffs?
269
00:14:17,491 --> 00:14:18,592
Gee...
270
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:19,960
My goodness.
271
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,469
Oh, no.
Where is it?
272
00:14:29,503 --> 00:14:30,838
Where did
it go?
273
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:34,575
Blanche, I lost it.
I lost the suitcase.
274
00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:36,743
What? Oh, no!
275
00:14:36,777 --> 00:14:38,812
We've got the media
roaming the hotel,
276
00:14:38,846 --> 00:14:40,047
a health inspector
in the kitchen.
277
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,349
Now you tell me
you lost the body.
Rose,
278
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,551
that's terrible.
What are we
gonna do?
279
00:14:44,585 --> 00:14:46,587
Well, you know,
280
00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:49,523
maybe we should
just try to have
fun with this.
281
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:52,860
‐What?
‐Get up...
282
00:14:54,428 --> 00:14:55,896
What's taking the
coroner so long?
283
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:58,031
Hey, it's not a job
where you have to rush.
284
00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:03,737
Mr. Davenport
285
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,706
I don't know where
you are right now, but
286
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,407
I want you
to know that
287
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:09,610
if I did kill you,
it was an accident.
288
00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:11,411
And I'm very,
very sorry.
289
00:15:11,445 --> 00:15:12,779
And... (screams)
290
00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:17,518
Who are you?
291
00:15:17,551 --> 00:15:19,186
Al Tucker.
Health inspector.
292
00:15:20,821 --> 00:15:22,055
You were just
in the freezer?
293
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,790
Yeah.
It passed inspection.
294
00:15:23,824 --> 00:15:25,993
Man, the city's
getting lax, huh?
295
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:31,064
Look, I have one question.
What are these clothes
doing in there?
296
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:32,232
‐Clothes?
‐Yeah.
297
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:34,334
What are they doing
in the freezer?
298
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:37,337
Oh! (chuckles) Sometimes
they tell me to dress
the lamb chops.
299
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,139
I don't speak
the English too
good. (chuckles)
300
00:15:45,179 --> 00:15:47,214
‐Mr. Mitchelson?
‐Look, I can't do this.
301
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,249
Hey, hey! We
got to get that
suitcase back.
302
00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:52,653
Listen. Ever since I was
a kid, I've had this thing
about death, okay?
303
00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:56,823
I can't take it.
People, animals,
insects.
304
00:15:56,857 --> 00:15:58,992
Once when I was five,
305
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,861
My pet hamster Marvin
got out‐‐
306
00:16:00,894 --> 00:16:04,264
Roland, Roland. As much
as we love a good
childhood story, honey...
307
00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:06,934
Save it for your shrink,
psycho. We've got work
to do.
308
00:16:11,672 --> 00:16:12,840
Oh, he's in
the shower.
309
00:16:12,873 --> 00:16:14,141
Oh, that's
perfect.
310
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:17,010
You know how men are.
They just take
forever...
311
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:21,248
Lathering up their
strong, well‐muscled
arms, and...
312
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,684
letting the soap
run in rivulets
313
00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:26,253
down over the
washboard ripples
314
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,222
of their tight,
taut‐‐
315
00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:29,923
That's enough, Blanche.
316
00:16:29,957 --> 00:16:31,491
Oh, I'm back,
I'm back.
317
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:38,565
Well, we can't go wandering
around the hotel with a dead
man.
318
00:16:38,599 --> 00:16:39,933
Let's wrap him
in a blanket.
319
00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:41,001
Uh, yeah. Good.
320
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:42,302
Oh, here's one.
321
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:47,040
Oh, man. This
is so nasty.
322
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:49,676
‐This is nasty,
nasty, nasty, nasty.
‐(both shushing)
323
00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:51,278
Here.
324
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,914
Oh, it's on me.
It's on me.
325
00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:56,016
Don't you blame
me, now. It's
Rose's fault.
326
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,451
What do you
mean my fault?
327
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,386
You're the one that
invited Davenport
to the hotel.
328
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,655
It's still on me.
It's still on me.
329
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,824
I've had it with
you. I don't like
this, either,
330
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,460
but, after all,
there are times
in your life...
331
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:09,630
‐Oh, wait. Wait.
‐...when you just have
to face your fears.
332
00:17:09,663 --> 00:17:11,198
No, wait. Wait...
333
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,599
Mitchelson:
Is someone
out there?
334
00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:15,202
‐Oh, lord. Oh, lord.
‐Get down!
335
00:17:17,004 --> 00:17:19,006
Hide me. Hide me.
336
00:17:26,847 --> 00:17:28,448
What's going
on out here?
337
00:17:35,556 --> 00:17:37,624
Hi there, tiger.
(growls)
338
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,728
What are you doing
in my bed?
339
00:17:41,762 --> 00:17:45,532
Well, let's just say
I'm delivering some
room service.
340
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:48,569
‐What?
‐Oh, come on, now.
341
00:17:48,602 --> 00:17:51,071
Isn't that
what you've been
after all along?
342
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:55,576
I mean, oh,
"My, isn't that an
interesting brooch."
343
00:17:55,609 --> 00:17:59,479
Please, I don't have to
have a house fall on me,
344
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:01,014
then again,
who does?
345
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,284
There's
that wonderful
sense of humor.
346
00:18:04,318 --> 00:18:05,519
(laughs)
347
00:18:09,223 --> 00:18:11,658
Ah, your hand
is so smooth...
348
00:18:12,793 --> 00:18:13,794
And cold.
349
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:17,364
Here, let me
warm it up
for you.
350
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:21,368
Hey, nice
Rolex.
351
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:25,472
Uh, you know
what really
turns me on?
352
00:18:25,506 --> 00:18:26,740
What? What?
353
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,376
A man with
blow‐dried hair.
354
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:30,577
‐Really?
‐Oh, yeah.
355
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:31,645
‐Okay.
‐Ooh.
356
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:34,014
Okay, okay.
Don't move.
357
00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:35,148
Uh‐uh.
358
00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:36,316
Thank you.
359
00:18:40,921 --> 00:18:42,422
Great job, Rose.
I could hug you,
360
00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:43,624
but you smell
like dead.
361
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,895
‐Roland: Come here.
‐Rose: Go to your right.
362
00:18:47,928 --> 00:18:50,163
This way, this...
No, this way.
363
00:18:53,066 --> 00:18:54,501
reporter:
Oh, there you are.
364
00:18:54,535 --> 00:18:56,136
Roland: Go back. Go back.
Go back. Go back.
365
00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:59,339
Hey, in the
laundry chute.
366
00:18:59,373 --> 00:19:00,440
The laundry chute.
367
00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:03,710
‐Ow!
‐Sorry.
368
00:19:03,744 --> 00:19:05,979
Get him down there.
Get him down there.
369
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:14,388
Well, we'd better get
you outta here. We have
a lot of work to do,
370
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:16,323
a lot of things
to find.
(chuckles)
371
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,525
Yeah, everything's on
the up and up here at
the Golden Palace.
372
00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:19,893
We have nothing
to hide.
373
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:31,772
Okay, we're gonna
need a diversion
for the guests.
374
00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:33,207
Don't worry.
This time I
got it‐‐
375
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,942
Topless volleyball
players out on the
beach.
376
00:19:34,975 --> 00:19:36,109
Yeah. Okay.
377
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,347
Hey, everyone,
look...
378
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:42,115
Dead volleyball
player in the
blanket.
379
00:19:47,888 --> 00:19:49,723
I did it again,
didn't I?
380
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,330
Blanche,
Blanche.
381
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:57,898
Not now.
Not now.
382
00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:59,967
‐Hold it.
Hold it.
‐What?
383
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,902
‐I got to rest.
‐Okay.
384
00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:04,238
Wait a minute. Ah!
385
00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:06,974
I was a lot younger
when I used to do
this back in Sicily.
386
00:20:09,743 --> 00:20:12,279
He can't just
have gotten up
and walked away.
387
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:13,647
(everyone screams)
388
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:14,681
reporter: Oh,
there you are.
389
00:20:15,949 --> 00:20:17,184
‐Rose.
‐Aah!
390
00:20:18,519 --> 00:20:19,820
What happened
to you?
391
00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:22,289
I not only blow
dried my hair,
I put in mousse.
392
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:26,460
‐And why did you
take my blanket?
‐No!
393
00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:28,729
‐Blanche: Oh, my God!
‐What's going on here?
394
00:20:28,762 --> 00:20:30,964
I don't know,
and I'm as shocked
as you are.
395
00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:34,067
Why... Uh...
396
00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:36,003
Listen, I think
it's time we told
the truth.
397
00:20:36,036 --> 00:20:37,204
Rose, what
are you doing?
398
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,339
No, Blanche we
can't live this
lie any longer.
399
00:20:39,373 --> 00:20:42,509
‐Rose, shh. Rose.
‐This man here is drunk.
400
00:20:43,844 --> 00:20:45,946
‐Yeah, he's drunk.
‐Yeah, he's drunk.
401
00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:48,282
He's pickled,
pie‐eyed, soused,
wasted.
402
00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:49,683
Practically
embalmed.
403
00:20:51,952 --> 00:20:53,720
You were doing
better without
me, weren't you?
404
00:20:54,922 --> 00:20:56,089
Now, you
all know
this man
405
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:58,859
as noted
restaurant critic
Gerald Davenport,
406
00:20:58,892 --> 00:21:02,196
but to local
bartenders,
he's pure profit.
407
00:21:02,229 --> 00:21:03,664
Oh, I'll say.
408
00:21:04,565 --> 00:21:05,766
Yeah, and
when he's drunk,
409
00:21:05,799 --> 00:21:09,069
he, he, he thinks
everything tastes banal.
410
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:10,737
Well, this
is horrible.
411
00:21:10,771 --> 00:21:12,105
Well, not entirely
412
00:21:12,139 --> 00:21:13,974
because it gives
us here at the
Golden Palace
413
00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:17,911
a chance to implement
our new designated
driver program.
414
00:21:17,945 --> 00:21:20,380
From now on,
any of our
restaurant patrons
415
00:21:20,414 --> 00:21:23,250
who's had too much
will be safely
escorted home.
416
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:24,318
Blanche: That's right.
417
00:21:26,553 --> 00:21:29,156
Um, excuse me, uh,
Mr. Davenport, sir,
418
00:21:29,189 --> 00:21:32,059
Do you think you
can drive yourself
home tonight?
419
00:21:32,092 --> 00:21:33,927
‐Uh‐uh.
‐See, that's
the first step,
420
00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:35,662
‐admitting you need help.
‐Roland: That's so true.
421
00:21:35,696 --> 00:21:36,730
(all cheer and applause)
422
00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,632
That's so true.
That's so true.
423
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:40,167
‐What's that?
‐(applause stops)
424
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,369
You want me
to keep your Rolex
for safekeeping?
425
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:43,437
Get out
of here.
426
00:21:50,911 --> 00:21:52,779
I thought this
day would never
end.
427
00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:54,515
Oh, tell me
about it.
428
00:21:54,548 --> 00:21:56,450
Chuy, where
have you been?
429
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:59,052
Out walking the
beach, thinking.
430
00:21:59,086 --> 00:22:00,921
‐I mean, I may have
killed a man.
‐Oh.
431
00:22:00,954 --> 00:22:03,690
Hey, look, this
has touched
all of us.
432
00:22:03,724 --> 00:22:06,860
And some of us are hoping
that we're gonna be able
to scrub it the hell off.
433
00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:11,231
Everybody,
everybody,
good news.
434
00:22:11,265 --> 00:22:12,766
According to
the coroner's report,
435
00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:15,769
Mr. Davenport died
of a massive coronary.
436
00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:17,804
‐All right!
‐Yeah!
437
00:22:17,838 --> 00:22:20,007
‐Wonderful.
‐That's great.
438
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,442
‐So Chuy didn't kill
anybody.
‐Yeah.
439
00:22:22,476 --> 00:22:23,777
They tested
the food.
440
00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:26,180
There was not
a trace of rat poison
whatsoever.
441
00:22:26,213 --> 00:22:28,415
That's wonderful,
wonderful.
442
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:30,717
Looks like everything
ended up working out
okay.
443
00:22:30,751 --> 00:22:32,553
Oh, I'll say it did,
444
00:22:32,586 --> 00:22:35,189
I mean... And because
of our designated driver
program,
445
00:22:35,222 --> 00:22:38,725
Mr. Mitchelson said he's gonna
recommend our hotel to all his
travel agents.
446
00:22:38,759 --> 00:22:42,196
Yeah, and the health
inspector said that we
passed with flying colors.
447
00:22:42,229 --> 00:22:44,131
I guess everybody
got something
out of this.
448
00:22:44,164 --> 00:22:45,933
You're telling me.
Ask me what time it is.
449
00:22:45,966 --> 00:22:47,467
Ask me what
time it is.
450
00:23:00,180 --> 00:23:02,382
Well, this all
worked out
pretty good.
451
00:23:02,416 --> 00:23:03,617
Yeah, I'd say
all in all
452
00:23:03,650 --> 00:23:05,352
it turned out to be
a pretty good day.
453
00:23:05,385 --> 00:23:08,789
Sophia: Whee! (thud)
454
00:23:08,822 --> 00:23:11,458
(sighs) All right,
Sophia, that's enough.
455
00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:22,102
What, I got to
wait until I'm
dead to do this?
456
00:23:22,135 --> 00:23:23,437
Get out
of there.
457
00:23:23,470 --> 00:23:24,571
Get that
sock off.
34642
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