All language subtitles for The.Golden.Palace.S01E17.WEB.h264-WEBTUBE

♪ Ooh‐ooh‐ooh ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Travel down the road
And back again ♪

♪ Your heart is true ♪

♪ You're a pal
And a confidante ♪

♪ And if you threw
A party ♪

♪ Invited everyone
You knew ♪

♪ You would see ♪

♪ The biggest gift
Would be from me ♪

♪ And the card attached
Would say ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

Roland: Hey, Chuy man,
you should check out the
stage in the ballroom.

It's really starting
to look like a
comedy club man.

We're gonna make
a lot of money
in this thing.

Yeah, yeah,
that's a great idea.

Oh, by the way,
I have an application

for somebody
who wants to enter
the comedy competition.

You're kidding,
right?

Nope.

"Corney Castillos"?

Yeah.
Do you love it?
(chuckles)

See I was trying to come
up with a stage name
that was funny,

and since the funniest
word in the world is "Corn"...

Corn!
Ha ha ha ha!

Hey, what could
be funnier than
Corney Castillos?

All I got to do now
is come up with
a five‐minute act,

but I have all week,
so how hard can it be?

Corney,
listen to me.
(clears throat)

You don't want to get up
on that stage and make
an idiot of yourself.

Now what you need is a writer.
You know, someone who is young,
down, naturally funny,

You know, like me.

(scoffs)
You?
(chuckles)

Uh, no offense, brother,
but you're about as funny
as a lima bean.

Hey, can anyone
join this comedy
competition?

Oh, not you, too, Sophia.
What's your stage name,
"Moms Petrillo"?

Boy, you make one adult party
record in the 50s and it
haunts you all your life.

You know, I was thinking
of a guy I knew back in
the old neighborhood.

An older guy.

Older than you?

He was part of a comedy team.
Williams and Brown
or Brown and Williams

or Williams and Williams.
Funny guy.

Look, doesn't matter what his
name is, anybody older than you
can make it on the stage,

I'll put him on.

Hey, you know,
this is shaping up to
be quite a weekend.

I just learn my son
Matthew is gonna
come for a visit,

and the comedy
show's almost
sold out.

Oh yeah, speaking
of which Chuy wants
to enter, and Sophia‐‐

Oh, don't let Sophia enter.
Have you heard her party record?
It's filthy!

Aww...

Hello. My name is
Bill Douglas. I have
a reservation.

Oh, yes,
Mr. Douglas. Yes,
I have you right here.

You know,
you look very familiar to me.

Where do I know you from?
What do you do for a living?

Well, I own
a mattress factory.

Maybe you've heard
about our line‐‐
Douglas mattresses,

the mattress that
will last a lifetime.

Yes. I've had
three of those.

Oh.

Well, I hope you
enjoy your stay

here at The Golden Palace.

‐Thank you.
‐We do everything we can

to make our
guests feel like
that very special.

Thank you.
Thank you.

(gasp) Aah!

Oh!

Rose,

are you okay?
You look shaky
like you've...

Seen a ghost?

Oh I was going to say
"drinking heavily," but...

"Seen a ghost" works, too.

Rose, are you
all right?

Look at
this picture.

Oh,
my
goodness.

It's you
and Mr. Douglas
on a cow.

No. That's me
with Charlie.
(sharp inhale)

Mr. Douglas looks exactly
like my husband Charlie.

Oh, well, no
wonder he looks
so familiar. Oh...

Oh, and I made
such a fool
of myself.

Oh,
he must think
I'm a nut.

I really should
apologize. I mean,
he is a guest.

Well, if it
makes you
uncomfortable,

I think you oughta
just avoid that
particular guest.

Oh, Blanche,
don't be silly.
I mean,

I'm a big girl.
I'm not gonna
create a situation

just because
somebody happens
to looks like Charlie.

Oh, good.

Course, if he kisses
like Charlie,

you'll have to get the jaws
of life to get me off him.

Man,
read‐‐
read this joke.

Read this.
Yeah you're
going to love it.

"Too bad Al Gore's
not a waiter, because
he married a good tipper."

Boom!

I don't get it.

What do you mean?
His wife's name is Tipper.

It's not funny.

Man that's 'cause you're not
saying it right.
You got to hit "Tipper."

His wife's a good "Tipper ."

That's big funny.

Chuy, Roland, I
want you all to
meet my son Matthew.

Matthew, this is
Roland and Chuy.

Oh, hey, nice
to meet you.
We got to go.

Okay. Oh, honey,
I just have so many
plans for us today.

Uh, Mother, could we talk
for a minute? Look, I have
something to tell you.

Okay.

Jeez, I'm nervous.
Um, how can
I put this?

You know, Mom,

you and I have a lot more
in common than you think.

We like the same things.

We like the same things?
Honey, the only thing
I really like is m‐‐

Oh... My God,
you're gay.

No.

No, what I mean is
we both like
to take chances,

like when you
bought this hotel.

You weren't afraid
to change your life.

So I've decided to stop being
a stockbroker and become
a stand‐up comic.

Matthew, honey, if this is your
roundabout way to tell me that
you're gay,

you don't have to.
I accept it.

I'm not gay, Mother.

Oh, yes, you are.

Remember those open toed
sandals you wore in high school?
Please...

Sorry, but I'm not.
And I really want to do comedy.

Oh... Comedy.
No, Matthew.
That's so undignified.

How could you do
this to me?

I'm not saying I'm gonna
make a career of it,

but I've been performing
at some clubs,
and I'm not half bad.

So when you wrote me about this
comedy competition, I came down
here so you could see it.

You didn't quit your job?
Did you?

‐For a little while.
‐Oh!

Well, forgive me
if I cannot laugh,
Matthew,

but I find nothing
funny about my son
ruining his life.

Now, I don't want
to talk about this
anymore.

Let's just get you checked in.

You want to listen
to some show tunes later?

Straight as an arrow, Mom.

Damn!

Hello.

Oh, hello!

You're probably
wondering why
I screamed

and ran away
from you this
morning.

I'm used to that.
I used to sell Amway.

Uh, please.

Oh.

My name is
Bill Douglas.

Rose Nylund.

Mm‐hmm.

The reason I reacted
the way I did was...

was... Uh, well, just
before I saw you,

I remembered I forgot
to unplug the iron
back at the house.

Oh, is everything
all right?

I don't know.
I sold the house
in 1976.

I guess I would've heard
something by now.

Uh, where did you live?

Oh, in a
beautiful little
town in Minnesota

called St. Olaf.

Oh.

‐Have you ever been there?
‐My wife and I
honeymooned there.

Oh...

Will your wife
be joining you here?

Oh, no.
She passed away
a few years ago.

Oh! Oh... That must
have been hard.

Yes, it was.

Would you like
to have dinner
with me tonight?

‐Yes.
‐Ah!

What time?

7 o'clock, in the lobby?

Oh, I'm sorry.
We don't serve dinner
in the lobby.

Well, why don't you and I
just meet in the lobby,

and then we will go out
to a restaurant?

Great!

Ha! All right.
See you at 7:00.

Yeah.

Wow! And smart, too.

Okay Chuy, I'm setting
up the lineup for
Saturday night's show.

Now you
sure you still
want to go on?

What makes you think that
I wouldn't want to go on?

'Cause I saw you
rehearsing your act today.

Somebody cr‐rack a window!

You're just saying that
'cause I'm not using
any of your lousy jokes.

My jokes?
What about your jokes?

Uh, I had a dream last night
that I ate a giant marshmallow.

and when I woke up,
my pillow was gone.

Ha ha ha ha.
Va‐voom!

Man, that joke is so old,
Pia Zadora wouldn't
marry it.

That reminds me,
I talked to my friend
he thinks he can make it.

Oh, great. What's his name?

Oh, this is crazy.
I just had it.

I tell you, at my age
the first thing
to go is the, uh...

the, uh...
the, uh...

Mind?

No. Help yourself.

Look, Sophia
if the old dude
shows up,

I'll put him
on right after um,
Matthew Devereaux.

Matthew's not entering
the laugh‐off.

Uh, does
Matthew
know this?

Matthew
know what?

Matthew, I forbid you
to enter this contest.

Mom, I'm 35.
Your forbidding
days are over.

Now, look don't you get smart
with me. I've been reading
some of your material, huh.

When I was young,
my mother used so much makeup,

her pillowcase looked like it
had a picture of a clown on it.

Hey, you
can't do that.

Thank you, Chuy.

I'm doing
a pillow joke.

Where'd you
get that pad?

From your room.

Those are personal.

Oh! Well,
they certainly
are.

Look, if you wanna go out
and make a fool of yourself
in public that's one thing,

but you are not gonna
make me look like a fool, too.

You had no right
to invade my privacy.

My point exactly.
Now, Matthew, you're
not doing this to me.

Maybe, I should talk
to Matthew.

You think you can help?

I know I can help.
I have over

a thousand
Blanche slut jokes.

‐Well...
‐Yeah.

What a night, huh?

Ah, I don't think
I've had this much
fun in years.

You know, I can't
remember when
I last danced the polka.

Did you like
my solo?

Oh!

I'm always impressed when
somebody jumps up on a table
and stands on her hands.

(softly) Thank you, sir.

Actually, that's
the way we dance
back in St. Olaf.

Oh?

Bill, there's
something I
have to tell you.

Can I tell you
something first?

Well, I have
been alone for
seven years.

I tried dating.

I know
what you mean.

Oh, yes. But...
You're very
different.

When I'm with you,
I feel...
Comfortable.

Just comfortable?

Don't underrate
that.

When you're
comfortable,

you allow
yourself to feel
wonderful things.

Like what?

Like this.

Or this.

Oh, Roland,
I won't be going
to the show tonight,

so there's
another ticket
you can sell.

You gotta go. I sold Matthew
this one joke and no one will
get it if they can't see you.

I mean, he's your son.

Yeah, Blanche you have
to go this is a big night
for the hotel.

I'm not going
if Matthew's going on.

He used to be so responsible.

And then last night he told me
he just wasn't happy anymore

being a stockbroker.

All I could think of is
how hard his daddy worked
giving him an education

so he could have some security.

And now he's just gonna
throw it all away.

I think you're behaving
ridiculously.

You should talk. You're the one
who went out with a guy who
looks like Charlie.

How would you like me to iron
those wrinkles out of your face,
you little snitch?

Oh, I'd love that.

Rose, you didn't.

It was no big deal.
I mean, he asked me out,
and we danced a little,

and...
He gave me
a tiny kiss.

And we laughed and cried,
and I stood on my hands.

Oh, God, I think I love him.

Did you tell him
about Charlie?

‐Well‐‐
‐Oh, Rose!

Rose, how‐‐ You don't
even know this man.

You just think you do,
and this isn't being
fair to him.

But you don't know
what I'm going through.

Oh, you don't think
I miss my George?

And that I missed my Sal?

Yeah, you don't think that
I've dated men just because

they laughed like George
or had his eyes.

And that I don't see my Sal
on the faces of a thousand
chimps at the monkey house.

You know, I went
out with a girl in
high school

for about
three months
and uh,

every now and again I see
someone who reminds me of‐‐

Oh, come back in 40 years
when you got a story to tell,
will you.

(silently) Sorry!

But if I tell
him he'll leave.

Well then what are you gonna do?
Just burn all your pictures
of Charlie.

Tell your girls not to
say anything to Bill.

I know. You're right.
I have to tell him.

‐But you know,
you're lucky, Blanche.
‐I'm lucky?

If you want
to see George,

you don't have
to look any further
than Matthew.

She's right.

How many times have you told us
that Matthew acts like George

thinks like George,
that Matthew is‐‐

Is exactly like
his father.

Would you excuse me?

I think I want
to talk to my son.

You know, every once in a while
I remember how much I need
that male voice in my life, too.

‐You want me to get Dorothy
on the phone for you?
‐Would you, darling?

Matthew, may I speak
to you a minute?

Don't worry.
I'm not going
on tonight.

Oh?
Okay.

‐But, but did I ever tell you
how I met your father?
‐No.

He was a barker at a carnival,
putting himself through college.

Dad was a carnival barker
I didn't know that.

Oh, yes. He used
to sell these dice
from "Paris, France."

They were just like regular
dice until you held them
up to the light.

I do remember him doing that.
That's how you met dad?

Hell, I bought
six pairs.

Then after he became
a lawyer, he used to do it

at parties and charity events
and then I guess he just
became too successful,

and it wasn't
dignified anymore
for him to

put on that straw hat
and do his little pitch

but Lord, how that man
love to make a fool
of himself.

What are you saying?

Oh, I'm saying...

Go out there and
make a fool of yourself.

You'd make your father
proud of you.

What about you?

I'm proud of you
whatever you do.

(softly)
Ohh... Mom.

Oh, I was waiting
for you.

No, sit down,
Bill.

I have something
to show you.

Mm‐hmm.

Ah...

A picture of you and...
and me? Sitting on a cow.

No, that's me...
with my late
husband Charlie.

Wow.

It certainly explains
your instant attraction
to me.

Well, I wanted to tell you
right away, but‐‐

But you wanted to extend
the fantasy a little longer.

‐Don't be angry. Please.
‐Oh, no, no, I'm not.

But let's be honest...

Would you ever
be able to, to look at me

without thinking
about Charlie?

Well, maybe not right at first,
but after a little while.

You would never be able to know
how you really felt about me.

I don't think
it's going to work.

I'm so sorry.
I'll leave.

Oh, no, no, I don't
want you to leave.

Oh, I don't think
I could stand that
again.

You see, when Charlie died,
it all happened so fast

I never got a chance
to say goodbye.

And now you're just
gonna walk out
on me, too?

If you could say goodbye
to Charlie right now,

What would you say?

What would I say?

What would you say
to Charlie?

Charlie...

The 30 years that
we spent together...

Seemed...
Like a day.

When you died...
Part of me died, too.

I love you.

And I miss you.

Goodbye, Rose.

Thank you,
Bill.

How you feeling,
kiddo?

Not so good.

Hey, remember
my friend the comic

I told you about?
Well, he's here.

That's nice.

Why don't you come
with me and meet him.

I'm telling you,
the guy's a hoot.

Sophia, I really
don't feel like
hooting right now.

Come on. It'll
do you some good.
Come on!

Rose, I'd like
you to meet this
friend of mine.

He used to
be Williams of
Brown or Williams

or Brown
of Williams
and Brown or

Brown of Brown
and Brown or maybe
just Williams.

You're‐‐ you're wrong,
My name is Sam Newman.

He's George Burns,
what is he
ashamed of?

Rose, Sophia
told me to
cheer you up.

So I will.

Here's a cigar.

Oh, I don't smoke.

Okay, that didn't
get a laugh.

Um...
I'll tell you
a joke.

Um... Have you
heard this one?

I don't think so.

I haven't told it yet.

Ooh!

Teacher said to a kid in school,
"What does your father do?" He
says, "My father's a doctor."

He said to the other kid,
"What does your father do?"
He says, "My father's a lawyer."

He said to a third kid,
"What does your father do?" He
says, "My father's dead."

He says, "What did he do
before he died?" He says,
"He went, ooh!"

(laughing)

"Here's
a cigar."

All right,
Mr. Burns,
whenever you're ready.

Ready? I've
been ready
for 97 years.

Ready!
Let's take
a walk.

Okay.

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.
and now for my last song,

I'm gonna sing this song that's
gonna make Rose happy.

Morty,
in Sam
Newman's key.

(piano playing)

♪ I love to call you
Rose, dear ♪

♪ But roses fade away ♪

♪ Roses die when
Wintertime appears ♪

♪ And I love to
Call you daisy ♪

♪ But daisies always tell ♪

♪ What sweethearts like
To whisper in your ear ♪

♪ I'd love
To call you honey ♪

♪ But honey runs away ♪

♪ I much prefer a name
Like clinging vine ♪

♪ And if I called you
Buttercup ♪

♪ The dandelions
Would eat you up ♪

♪ So I'll buy a ring ♪

♪ And change your name ♪

♪ And change your name ♪

♪ And buy a ring ♪

♪ Oh, I'll change it,
And I'll buy it ♪

♪ And I'll buy it
And I'll change it ♪

♪ I'll buy a ring and
Change your name to mine ♪

♪ Pom pom

(applause and cheers)

Did you like that,
Rosie?

Oh, I sure did, Sam.

My name
isn't Sam.

It's Williams of
Brown and Williams.

Oh!

George Burns!
George Burns.
All right!

Mr. George Burns.
And now...

The
comedy
stylings

of Mr. Corney Castillos.

'Scuse me.