Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,601 --> 00:00:03,737
♪ Ooh‐ooh‐ooh
2
00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:06,306
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:10,210
♪ Travel down the road
And back again ♪
4
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,145
♪ Your heart is true ♪
5
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:15,349
♪ You're a pal
And a confidante ♪
6
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:20,554
♪ And if you threw
A party ♪
7
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:24,491
♪ Invited everyone
You knew ♪
8
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,260
♪ You would see
9
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,929
♪ The biggest gift
Would be from me ♪
10
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,164
♪ And the card attached
Would say ♪
11
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,400
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
12
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,502
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
13
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,538
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
14
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:41,341
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
15
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:09,570
Yes, sir, yes
The Golden Palace
romantic getaway weekend
16
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,572
does come with
a lot of extras‐‐
17
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:15,342
Complimentary bottle
of champagne, candlelight
dinner, black satin sheets.
18
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:19,813
Tell him about the
coloring books. Tell him
about the coloring books.
19
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:23,917
Okay, great. Yeah, I'll go ahead
and enter your reservation.
All right, thank you.
20
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,485
Woo! I can't
believe this,
Rose.
21
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,854
We're almost
booked solid.
22
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,489
Oh, I know you should
trust my instincts
more often.
23
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:32,459
Yeah but how did you know
that this romantic getaway
was gonna be so popular?
24
00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:35,128
I remembered something
my minister told me
when I was little girl.
25
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:36,196
What's that?
26
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,332
He said, "Moses
parting the red sea
27
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:39,600
"is a nice story,
28
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:42,135
but Mary Magdalene
really packs a pew."
29
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:47,674
‐What does that mean?
‐Sex sells, baby.
30
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:51,812
Hey, Sophia,
where does
this thing go?
31
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,780
Over there.
32
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,583
To be honest,
this is why
everybody's coming.
33
00:01:56,617 --> 00:02:00,888
Getting Doctor Ursula
to give us one of her lecture
weekends was a real coup.
34
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:04,124
Really? I'll have to take your
word for it, I've never even
heard of her before this.
35
00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:07,194
Of course you have.
She's the love doctor.
36
00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:09,263
She's on all the talk shows.
37
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,532
She writes all those
controversial books on sex.
38
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:13,834
I think Doctor Ursula is great.
39
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:16,203
I just took one of her books
out the library last week.
40
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:17,404
It's called
41
00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:20,040
New Sexual Positionsfor the Senior Citizen.
42
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,309
And?
43
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:23,810
Art Linkletter will
be selling a lot
44
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,612
of adjustable beds this year.
45
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:30,083
Well, this sounds awesome.
I'm there.
46
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,952
I haven't told you
but I've been having
some problems
47
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,620
with my sexual partners
lately.
48
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,656
‐Such as?
‐I don't have any.
49
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,327
Well, Sophia,
don't give up hope
all you have to do
50
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,896
is find a man
you're sexually
compatible with.
51
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:50,971
Stop looking at me.
52
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,140
There used to be a time
when everybody down
at the senior center
53
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,441
would ask me to dance.
54
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:56,543
I didn't know
you like to dance?
55
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,745
Oh please,
I love disco night
at the center‐‐
56
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,414
The music,
the mingling.
57
00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:02,249
I'm not crazy about
the strobe lights,
58
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,718
but it does make us
look like we're moving.
59
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,287
Well, why doesn't
anybody ask you
to dance anymore?
60
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,656
I think I've lost my sex appeal.
61
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,895
I said, I think
I've lost
my sex appeal.
62
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,664
‐all: Oh, no.
‐Chuy: Oh, no. You still got
it baby. You're a hot babe.
63
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,369
You're just being
condescending
to an old lady,
64
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,104
but I'm a person,
damn it.
65
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,873
If you prick me,
do I not bleed...
66
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:27,841
Eventually?
67
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:33,881
Blanche: Well, you're not gonna
believe who left a message
on my answering service‐‐
68
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:37,351
‐Taylor Michaels.
He's coming to town.
‐Roland: Who?
69
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,887
Taylor Michaels.
I told you
all about him.
70
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,188
We went
to college together.
71
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,056
I wanted him
in the worst way.
72
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,659
Only unfortunately,
so did my roommate, Lauren.
73
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,794
We fought tooth
and nail over him.
74
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,830
Yeah, but you won,
right, Blanche?
75
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,800
‐Right, Blanche?
‐(softly) No. She did.
76
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,337
I'm sorry,
I didn't hear you.
What?
77
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,739
She got her butt kicked.
78
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:05,479
I lost, all right?
Is that what you wanted to hear,
that one time in her life
79
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,982
Blanche Devereaux
lost a man to another woman?
Are you happy?
80
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:13,987
I have no heroes left!
81
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,089
No, no, no.
Shh.
82
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,324
Aw, it fine.
83
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,033
Hello.
84
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,401
Hello.
May I help you?
85
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:30,003
Uh, yes.
I'd like a room,
please.
86
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,839
All righty.
87
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,608
I have one with
a beautiful ocean view.
88
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:37,444
Well, if it's half as beautiful
as the view in front
of me right now,
89
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:39,847
I think that
would be uh,
perfect.
90
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,049
(chuckles)
91
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:45,085
Oh, wait. Do you mean me
or the mail slots?
92
00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:49,523
No, no, no.
You, of course.
93
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,725
Oh, goody.
(chuckles)
94
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,196
Blanche?
Blanche
Hollingsworth?
95
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:58,031
It's me.
Taylor Michaels.
96
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,967
Oh,
Taylor!
97
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,436
Oh, I do not
believe this!
(gasp)
98
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,439
Just look at you.
Would you just
look at him?
99
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,274
I'm looking,
I'm looking.
100
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,077
Oh! You look
exactly the same.
101
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,111
I know.
102
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,415
And you,
I could just eat you
with a spoon.
103
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,817
Rose,
go get me
a spoon.
104
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:21,088
Rose? Oh, is that
what this delightful
young lady's name is?
105
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,456
Oh yes,
I'm sorry,
Taylor.
106
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,225
This is my
business associate
Rose Nylund.
107
00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,261
Rose.
What a beautiful name.
108
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:29,329
You should
see the flower.
109
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,470
So Taylor,
how'd you
'find me?
110
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,907
Well, I read that
you bought this hotel
in our hometown newspaper.
111
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,709
Since I had to be in Miami
anyway for the Hague Convention.
112
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:45,145
I thought,
why don't I just stay here,
113
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,780
And I'm glad I did.
114
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:47,814
Oh, goody. (chuckles)
115
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,419
So Taylor, do you
have any plans
while you're in town?
116
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,054
Well,
I hope so.
117
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,088
(Blanche chuckles)
118
00:05:57,658 --> 00:06:00,427
Uh, Rose, would you
like to have dinner
with me tonight?
119
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,162
Yes.
120
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:05,265
I mean... I'll have to
check my schedule first.
121
00:06:05,299 --> 00:06:06,600
Excuse us
for a moment.
122
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,604
Blanche,
I really like him,
123
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:11,972
but I know
he's an old friend
of yours,
124
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,607
and I won't go
if you don't want
me too.
125
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,175
Oh, honey,
don't be ridiculous.
126
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,177
I'll have a lot of time
to be with Taylor.
127
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:22,216
You go on and enjoy this
one‐time‐only event.
128
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:25,619
Only I guess I should
warn you. He does raise
prize pigs.
129
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:28,488
So you might have
to sit through
endless pig stories.
130
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:31,658
You don't have to sell me.
I already said yes.
131
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:40,200
Well, I signed up for
the love doctor's class.
I can't wait to go.
132
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,035
I thought that
thing was
couples only?
133
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,674
(chuckles)
You forget that.
134
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,745
I've seen that look
in your eye before.
135
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:54,414
That's the same look you
had when you asked me
to fix your shower.
136
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,584
What was wrong
with that?
137
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,086
You were using it
at the time.
138
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:03,156
I can't believe
you're still whining
about that?
139
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,992
I had a shower cap on.
140
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:07,427
It wasn't enough.
141
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,899
Look, I really don't
want to go to this
class with you.
142
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,768
I think that people's
personal lives should
be a private manner.
143
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:15,836
I noticed.
144
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,371
I tried asking you
about your last date,
145
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:18,772
you refused to talk about it.
146
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,340
You asked me
if I got any.
147
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:22,809
Well, did you?
148
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:32,052
Come on, tell me what's
going on with you.
I really am interested.
149
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:36,557
All right, look.
The last few women
that I've dated,
150
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:39,593
after we started
to get close I don't know,
we just couldn't relate.
151
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,495
I guess
it all began‐‐
152
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,096
I'm sorry. I hate to interrupt,
153
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,032
but as it turns out,
I'm not that interested.
154
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,971
But maybe
the love doctor is.
155
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:54,007
Of course...
Couples only.
156
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,976
All right, Sophia,
I'll go.
157
00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:57,678
Hot damn!
158
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,248
Roland,
have you seen Rose?
159
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,016
Uh, she's still not
back with Taylor yet.
160
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,819
What‐‐ Even they've
been gone
all this time?
161
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:09,523
What could they
possibly have to
talk about besides pigs?
162
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,725
Chickens,
chickens, chickens.
163
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,762
Well, it looks like
somebody had a good time.
164
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,931
Are you kidding?
We had a great time.
165
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:20,901
Not only that he's
taking me to the
landing tomorrow,
166
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,669
you know
that new
restaurant.
167
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,304
That is,
if you
don't mind.
168
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:29,810
Mind? Why would I mind?
If my old friend and my
even older roommate...
169
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:34,915
Are interested in each other,
who could be happier than me?
170
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,384
Thank you,
Blanche.
(chuckles)
171
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:40,521
Wow, Blanche.
That's really a great
thing you just did,
172
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,155
you know,
stepping aside
like that.
173
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,224
You realize
this means war.
174
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,967
I'm sorry about
the inconvenience,
sir.
175
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:55,536
Uh, the maid
should've stocked
your bathroom.
176
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,771
We'll send somebody
up right away.
All right.
177
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,108
Well,
we're off
to dinner.
178
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,210
Wait, Rose. Wait.
179
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,811
Did you forget
the toilet paper?
180
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,981
It's a nice restaurant.
I'm sure they'll
have some.
181
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,084
But I guess
better safe
than sorry.
182
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,419
No, no,
Rose.
Wait.
183
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,087
We've been
getting a lot
of complaints.
184
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,023
Nobody on the second floor
has gotten their towels,
185
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,925
or their toilet
paper, or
their soap.
186
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:21,228
I did all those rooms
hours ago. There must
be some mistake.
187
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,462
(telephone rings)
188
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:24,298
Well, would you
mind checking into it,
please?
189
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:27,134
But, that will take
an hour. We'll lose
our reservations.
190
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,036
No, no, no,
that's all right.
I'll wait here.
191
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,704
We'll go
somewhere
else later.
192
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:37,177
"The love doctor.
Couples only."
193
00:09:37,211 --> 00:09:38,612
Yeah.
I'm going with Sophia.
194
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:42,716
Okay, Taylor, let's go.
195
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,218
I just ran into Rose
she doesn't want
196
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,786
those reservations
to go to waste
197
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,287
so she asked
me to go
in her place.
198
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:48,589
‐But she said‐‐
‐No buts.
199
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,624
This is what
Rose wants.
Come on let's go.
200
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,492
(telephone rings)
201
00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:53,861
Front desk.
202
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,295
Yes, sir, she's on her
way up right now.
203
00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:57,998
I'm sorry about
the inconvenience.
All right.
204
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:00,367
Roland, I need the key
to the supply closet.
205
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,736
Where's Taylor?
206
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,572
He just left with
Blanche they went
to dinner.
207
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,741
She said you
didn't want those
reservations wasted.
208
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,743
But I never
talked to Blanche.
209
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,613
Will you look at all the toilet
paper I found in the freezer.
210
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,917
How many times
do I have to
I tell Blanche,
211
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,919
"Please don't
freeze the
Charmin"?
212
00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:21,655
Chuy.
213
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:24,324
I mean, whose
gonna want to use
frozen toilet paper?
214
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,562
At my age,
any thrill will do.
215
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:34,935
Sorry about this,
Rose.
216
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,236
Oh, I'm fine.
217
00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:38,839
I mean, if Blanche needs to
spend time with Taylor,
218
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,475
I understand.
I'm her closest friend.
219
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:42,910
You're gonna
get even,
aren't you?
220
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:45,379
Norwegian people
don't get even.
221
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:46,847
I thought
you were Swedish.
222
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:48,582
I am.
223
00:11:03,197 --> 00:11:05,232
Come on Roland,
we have to do this.
224
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,367
‐Forget it, Sophia.
‐What's going on?
225
00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:09,503
Man, in order to
go to this love
doctor seminar,
226
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,371
we have to fill out
this questionnaire
about
227
00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:13,807
our sexual
compatibility
with our partner.
228
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:18,712
And I told you Sophia,
I'll go with you,
but I'm not your partner.
229
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:23,083
Come on, man, you're hurting
Sofia's feelings, just fill
out the questionnaire.
230
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,985
Oh, you think it's
so easy why don't
you try it.
231
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,220
Fine, I will.
232
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:27,955
Thank you Chuy.
It's nice to know
233
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,057
someone around
here still thinks
of me as a woman.
234
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,860
Question
number one.
235
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:36,563
Would you ever fantasize about
someone else while making
love with me?
236
00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:44,037
Yes, absolutely without doubt,
no question about it.
237
00:11:45,339 --> 00:11:46,340
Good
answer.
238
00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:49,476
I'll put down, "Maybe."
239
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,312
Question
number two.
240
00:11:52,346 --> 00:11:53,747
When you
watch me sleep
241
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:56,016
what is the
first thing that
comes to your mind?
242
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,518
God, I hope she wakes up.
243
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:01,989
Good answer.
244
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:05,025
Question number three.
Would you ever leave
me for an older woman?
245
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,161
I don't think so.
246
00:12:10,364 --> 00:12:12,266
Unless of course there is one.
247
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:17,171
Well, that's it. We're done.
See, Roland,
248
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:20,140
it was no big deal.
You were acting like
a baby for no reason.
249
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:21,775
You're right.
Sophia,
I'm sorry.
250
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:23,877
‐And oh, Chuy.
‐Uh, yeah. Sophia.
251
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:24,912
You're fired.
252
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,219
Blanche:
Where's the fire?
253
00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:43,263
Somebody paged me at the
restaurant, said there was a big
fire in the hotel kitchen.
254
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,006
Don't worry, Blanche.
I was able to put that fire out
255
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,175
with all the cold toilet paper
in the freezer.
256
00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,914
I don't have the faintest idea
what you're prattling on about.
257
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:02,749
You sabotaged
my date.
258
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:05,085
Did you think
I was too dumb
to figure it out?
259
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,921
Frankly, yes.
260
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:12,125
Admit it. It's just driving
you crazy that Taylor likes
me better than you.
261
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,127
That's why
you're being
so competitive.
262
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:18,365
I don't need to be
competitive with you.
This is not some race.
263
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:19,399
Ladies.
264
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,736
What‐‐ is
everything
all right?
265
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:25,172
Oh, it was just
a stupid false
alarm, Taylor
266
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:27,174
that ruined
a perfectly
good evening.
267
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,076
But what do you
say we try it again
tomorrow night,
268
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,111
this time
with no
interruptions.
269
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,813
That won't be
possible we've
already made
270
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,381
plans to have
dinner alone
tomorrow night.
271
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:37,084
I'm sure Taylor
would rather spend
the evening with me.
272
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:38,886
I think Taylor
can make his
own decisions.
273
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:40,254
Well, I think
Taylor ought
to speak‐‐
274
00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,923
Well, look, look, look,
why don't all three
of us have dinner
275
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,658
tomorrow night,
here together?
276
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:47,794
Oh. That's a
splendid suggestion.
277
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:48,862
Fine with me.
278
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,163
Oh,
that's
wonderful.
279
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,165
Well,
I'm going to
go to bed now.
280
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,400
Good night,
ladies.
281
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:05,112
Aw, honey,
I bet that hurt.
282
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:07,581
Good!
283
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:16,089
Roland:
Aw, man.
284
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:18,058
I'm really
uncomfortable
about this, Sophia.
285
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,060
Look at this,
everybody's
staring at us.
286
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,228
No, they're not.
287
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,466
What, you've never
seen a May‐December,
288
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:28,769
Afro‐American‐Italian
relationship before?
289
00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:34,675
Hello, everybody.
I'm Doctor Ursula,
290
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:37,978
otherwise known
as the love doctor,
291
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,546
and today
you're going
to learn
292
00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:42,149
how to open up
and share with
your partner.
293
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,818
So let's get started
by getting one
of our couples
294
00:14:44,852 --> 00:14:49,122
up here into the love circle
and we'll help them resolve
some of their problem areas.
295
00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:50,424
Who wants to be first?
296
00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:55,462
Put your hand down.
Stop it.
297
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:58,198
‐This looks
like fertile ground.
‐(Roland chuckles)
298
00:14:58,232 --> 00:14:59,766
We don't
have a problem.
299
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,269
Yes, we do.
Help us, Doctor Love.
300
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,806
‐Sign here.
‐What's this?
301
00:15:05,839 --> 00:15:09,376
It's a release form.
You two are definitely
in my next brochure.
302
00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:16,917
All right if you'll
just come up here in
the love circle, please.
303
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,218
No, no, no.
Over here,
please.
304
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,055
Thank you.
Well, then...
305
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,690
What's your
problem,
sweetheart?
306
00:15:23,724 --> 00:15:25,058
I want sex.
307
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,897
Well, that seems like
a simple enough request.
308
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:30,998
Then you do it.
309
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:38,739
Well in this class, we're
actually less interested in sex
and more interested in love.
310
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,541
And one
of the ways
to express love
311
00:15:40,574 --> 00:15:42,009
is through
touching
exercises.
312
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,911
No touching.
313
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,647
You see what I have
to put up with?
314
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,416
Now, I want you
to take each other
by the hands.
315
00:15:55,489 --> 00:15:58,892
Now look
deeply into your
partner's eyes.
316
00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:09,536
And say,
"Hello,
lover."
317
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,040
Hello, lover.
318
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:22,082
Roland's not getting
out of the love circle
until he says this.
319
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,252
Hell‐‐
320
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,088
(clears throat)
321
00:16:28,889 --> 00:16:29,890
Hell‐l‐‐
322
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:36,196
Hell will freeze over
before I say "Hello, lover"
to this woman.
323
00:16:38,432 --> 00:16:39,466
Roland.
324
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,401
Look, I'm sorry,
I just can't say‐‐
325
00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:44,338
It's not Sophia,
it's me.
I'm sorry.
326
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:47,841
Roland, the first step
in overcoming your
fear of intimacy
327
00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:50,210
is being able
to say "I love
you" to anyone,
328
00:16:50,244 --> 00:16:53,113
so try telling
Sophia,
you love her.
329
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,215
I lo‐‐
330
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,385
Just try,
Roland.
331
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,788
I love you, Sophia.
332
00:17:01,822 --> 00:17:03,357
‐(Ursula gasp)
‐everyone: Aww...
333
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:07,027
Very good,
Roland. A big
step for you.
334
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:10,597
All right, yeah,
that wasn't so bad
maybe that did help.
335
00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:12,533
Now then,
Sophia, what's
your problem?
336
00:17:12,566 --> 00:17:14,635
I don't have a problem.
337
00:17:14,668 --> 00:17:17,337
I just wanted to get
the kid in here so he could
work out his problem.
338
00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:18,705
You did all this for me?
339
00:17:18,739 --> 00:17:21,141
Well, not just for you
I still want somebody
to dance with.
340
00:17:21,175 --> 00:17:23,243
Well, still that
was very nice
of you, Sophia.
341
00:17:23,277 --> 00:17:25,212
You must
really care
for Roland.
342
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:26,880
He's all right.
343
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,216
"all right"?
344
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,185
‐I like him.
‐"like him"?
345
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,121
What the hell‐‐
I love you, Roland.
346
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:35,455
Aww.
347
00:17:38,992 --> 00:17:41,495
Come on, you little
sea monkey. I'm
taking you dancing.
348
00:17:42,763 --> 00:17:43,897
We're so happy.
349
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,900
Big success.
Big success.
350
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,905
And that's
where I
found out
351
00:17:51,939 --> 00:17:54,174
what "Pig in
the blanket"
really meant.
352
00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:56,109
(Rose laughs)
353
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:58,946
Oh, Taylor,
you have to stop.
354
00:17:58,979 --> 00:18:02,082
My stomach hurts
from laughing so hard.
355
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:04,017
Rose, would you
push your chair back?
356
00:18:04,051 --> 00:18:07,187
All that jiggling
is causing our
coffee to spill.
357
00:18:09,623 --> 00:18:12,092
Uh, if you
ladies will
excuse me,
358
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,827
I have to go
to the little
boys' room.
359
00:18:13,861 --> 00:18:17,364
Oh, but hurry back and
then maybe the two of us
could go up to my room.
360
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:20,834
I have a delicious
after‐dinner treat
waiting there for you.
361
00:18:20,868 --> 00:18:22,569
Are you sure
there's any of
that left, Blanche?
362
00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:24,805
You have been
giving out a lot
of samples lately.
363
00:18:27,508 --> 00:18:29,476
Excuse me.
I'll be back
in a second.
364
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:34,081
Why don't you just
leap across the table
into his lap?
365
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,682
I don't know what
you're talking about.
366
00:18:35,716 --> 00:18:37,618
I haven't been flirting
with him all night.
367
00:18:37,651 --> 00:18:41,555
Blanche, you offered
to open his baked potato
with your tongue.
368
00:18:43,924 --> 00:18:46,326
Like you're any better,
little miss‐‐
369
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,795
Oh, I dropped
my corn on the cob right
down my cleavage.
370
00:18:48,829 --> 00:18:51,465
Can somebody
help me get it out?
371
00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:54,968
You're just mad 'cause
the only thing you can fit
in your cleavage is a peanut
372
00:18:58,038 --> 00:19:01,775
Oh, that does it.
Oh, the gloves are off.
373
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:05,479
Let's just see how
smug you are when
he leaves here with me.
374
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:09,116
Sorry about that.
Did I miss anything?
375
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:13,387
Oh, well, Rose and I
were just playing
a little game.
376
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:17,324
Taylor, if you
were all alone
on a desert island
377
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:21,061
and you could have
either Rose or me
for companionship,
378
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:22,362
Who would you choose?
379
00:19:22,396 --> 00:19:24,398
Oh, gosh.
I don't know.
380
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,533
It's a desert island.
381
00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:30,504
You'll have no one else to
look at, no one else to talk to.
382
00:19:32,105 --> 00:19:33,407
Rose.
383
00:19:36,777 --> 00:19:40,380
Now, see,
it's a desert island.
384
00:19:40,414 --> 00:19:45,052
There's nothing to do,
so you'll probably
be wanting to engage
385
00:19:45,085 --> 00:19:47,688
in certain adult activities.
386
00:19:48,956 --> 00:19:50,657
Now who would you choose?
387
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,060
Rose.
388
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,932
Look...
It's a desert island.
389
00:19:58,966 --> 00:20:01,735
The sun beats
down with a
harsh intensity.
390
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:04,705
Anybody with a
fair, Swedish skin's
gonna end up
391
00:20:04,738 --> 00:20:08,242
looking like an old leather
handbag before you know it.
Now who would you choose?
392
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:09,343
Rose. I...
393
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,578
Blanche, I don't‐‐
What's going
on here?
394
00:20:11,612 --> 00:20:14,548
Nothing. Nothing's
going on here.
395
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,683
Nothing has ever
been going on here.
396
00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:18,352
Not between you and me.
397
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:21,054
Not 40 years ago,
not now, not ever!
398
00:20:25,025 --> 00:20:27,361
For what it's worth,
I would bring sunblock.
399
00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:35,669
What's going on?
Why should you care
400
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,804
if Taylor has
a crush on me?
401
00:20:37,838 --> 00:20:40,140
Because it's just
history repeating
itself, Rose.
402
00:20:40,174 --> 00:20:42,009
It's just like
in college
with Lauren.
403
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:43,610
Taylor prefers
you over me
404
00:20:43,644 --> 00:20:46,013
for some
incomprehensible
reason,
405
00:20:46,046 --> 00:20:49,516
he wants you and not me,
and I can't handle it.
406
00:20:49,550 --> 00:20:52,452
Don't you see if I can't attract
a man, what's the point?
407
00:20:52,486 --> 00:20:54,588
Blanche, you can't
base your self‐worth
408
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,890
on whether
men find you
attractive or not.
409
00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:59,059
I most certainly can.
Doesn't every woman?
410
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:03,864
No! Gosh, if I
did that, well...
411
00:21:03,897 --> 00:21:07,534
Actually,
right now I'd be
flying pretty high.
412
00:21:09,870 --> 00:21:12,072
The truth is,
when it comes
to men,
413
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:14,775
you just can't
control yourself.
414
00:21:14,808 --> 00:21:16,443
That's not true.
415
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:20,747
How many good women friends
have you driven away with your
competitiveness?
416
00:21:22,316 --> 00:21:23,317
All of them.
417
00:21:25,085 --> 00:21:28,255
My God, you're right.
All of them, Rose.
418
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:34,528
I mean, after all these years,
I should be more important
to you than Taylor.
419
00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:38,432
Aw, honey...
You are.
420
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:42,336
Oh, your friendship's
the most important
thing in my life.
421
00:21:42,369 --> 00:21:46,340
Oh... Oh,
I've been
so foolish.
422
00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:48,609
Oh, but I tell you
what I'm going
to do‐‐
423
00:21:48,642 --> 00:21:52,179
From now on,
I swear,
Rose Nylund,
424
00:21:52,212 --> 00:21:54,281
no man is ever
come between
us again.
425
00:21:54,982 --> 00:21:56,550
Prove it.
426
00:21:56,583 --> 00:21:58,752
‐What?
‐Prove it.
427
00:21:58,785 --> 00:22:00,120
I want you
to sit there
428
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,889
while I go through
that door to Taylor.
429
00:22:01,922 --> 00:22:03,156
Do you think
you can do it?
430
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:05,492
Yeah,
I think so.
431
00:22:07,728 --> 00:22:08,729
Okay.
432
00:22:09,296 --> 00:22:10,297
I'm going.
433
00:22:11,565 --> 00:22:14,034
I'm walking
toward the
door.
434
00:22:14,067 --> 00:22:16,236
My hand
is reaching
for the door.
435
00:22:17,204 --> 00:22:18,639
I've
made
contact.
436
00:22:19,273 --> 00:22:20,274
I'm
pushing.
437
00:22:22,376 --> 00:22:23,777
I stubbed
my toe.
438
00:22:25,279 --> 00:22:27,347
The pain
is flooding
through my body.
439
00:22:28,815 --> 00:22:31,885
Big piggy
is starting
to throb.
440
00:22:31,919 --> 00:22:34,454
Would you just
get through the
damn door already?
441
00:22:35,656 --> 00:22:37,791
I'm through
the damn door.
442
00:22:39,293 --> 00:22:40,294
I did it.
443
00:22:41,862 --> 00:22:43,797
I did it.
444
00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:49,703
I chose a female friendship
over a relationship with a man.
445
00:22:51,405 --> 00:22:53,707
So this is what
it feels like to be
446
00:22:54,942 --> 00:22:58,245
totally, completely selfless.
447
00:22:58,278 --> 00:23:01,982
Feels a lot like...
Appendicitis. Ooh.
448
00:23:18,799 --> 00:23:20,000
She's back.
449
00:23:22,069 --> 00:23:23,237
Go away!
450
00:23:24,872 --> 00:23:27,140
Blanche:
Look it's a desert island.
34980
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese