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1
00:00:00,601 --> 00:00:03,770
♪ Ooh‐ooh‐ooh
2
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:06,340
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
3
00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:10,511
♪ Travel down a road
And back again ♪
4
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,179
♪ Your heart is true
5
00:00:12,212 --> 00:00:15,415
♪ You're a pal
And a confidante ♪
6
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,786
♪ And if you threw a party
7
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,891
♪ Invited everyone you knew
8
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,293
♪ You would see
9
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:28,962
♪ The biggest gift
Would be from me ♪
10
00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:31,498
♪ And the card attached
Would say ♪
11
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,433
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
12
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,569
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
13
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,771
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
14
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:41,241
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
15
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:56,857
Oh, man.
16
00:00:58,158 --> 00:00:59,193
(coughs)
17
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,627
Oh, God.
18
00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,031
(coughs)
19
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,004
Ah, chihuahua.
20
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:13,373
Sophia, what does this
look like to you?
21
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,342
George Hamilton
in five years.
22
00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:20,914
No, Sophia. I think
you overcooked this.
23
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,016
‐No, I didn't.
‐Oh, really?
24
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,284
Have you ever seen a duck
25
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,652
this black and smoky?
26
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,554
I have. Daffy.
27
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,626
But only after
Bugs Bunny gives him
a dynamite cigar.
28
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:36,630
Why doesn't that
duck ever learn?
29
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:39,333
He can't, Rose.
He doesn't have
a brain.
30
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:40,367
Sound familiar?
31
00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:43,604
Oh,
I'm the dumb one?
32
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,640
You're the one
who's overcooked
three meals today.
33
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:48,909
In fact, if we had
a stupid‐person race,
34
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,044
I think
you'd come in first.
35
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,846
I'm sorry. Maybe
the oven is broken.
36
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,248
Oh, it is.
37
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,316
Didn't you get the note
I left inside the oven?
38
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,588
And at the wire,
it's Rose by a nose.
39
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,692
I'm sorry, Chuy,
but things have been
a little tight lately.
40
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,528
We've been putting off
some of the repairs.
41
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,097
I have to have an oven.
I explained that to Blanche.
42
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,765
She said she'd call
the repairman.
43
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,667
You had Blanche
call the oven repairman?
44
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,135
Why is that so bad?
45
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,671
Well, she's
been seeing him
for a year.
46
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,207
The only thing
he ever services
out here is her.
47
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,710
Before him,
it was the Maytag guy.
48
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:26,613
And believe me,
he doesn't look like that
because he's lonely.
49
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,948
He's exhausted.
50
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,692
Rose, I don't know whether
you want it or not,
51
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,093
but there's
another message.
52
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,161
Miles again.
53
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:43,197
Yep. Third time
he's called today.
54
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,865
He says he really
has to talk to you.
55
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:47,668
I bet that woman
he's been seeing
dumped him.
56
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:52,439
I bet she broke his heart
and reduced him to a pile
of groveling rubble...
57
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:55,676
wiping out
every last ounce
of his self‐esteem.
58
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:56,710
(laughs)
59
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,548
Why do you suppose
Miles keeps calling?
60
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,717
My guess is
he wants to get back
together.
61
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,452
But you're not
considering it?
62
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:08,322
Oh, I don't know.
I'm so confused.
63
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,257
I want to make
an intelligent decision.
64
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,291
(laughs)
65
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,930
Half of me
misses him terribly,
66
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,733
half of me wants
to get on with my life.
67
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,201
And the other half
of me...
68
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:23,804
wants to take an ax
69
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,305
and hitchhike
around the Midwest
70
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,107
looking for guys
who look like Miles.
71
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,211
Okay, let the evil Rose
go to sleep.
72
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,946
I want to talk
to the good Rose now.
73
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,048
Coming up.
74
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,756
Honey, now, I know this
is difficult for you,
75
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,124
but Miles hurt you,
76
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:46,760
and he's just going to
hurt you again
unless you're strong.
77
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,529
Darn it, you're right.
78
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,063
I mean, I should stop
letting Miles
79
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,165
come and go
as he pleases...
80
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:53,367
but what
should I do?
81
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,668
I'll tell you
what you're going to do.
82
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,603
You're going to
go out there
and start dating again.
83
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,473
Maybe you're right.
I should meet
some new men.
84
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:02,709
‐There you go.
‐I mean, I don't need
Miles in my life.
85
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:03,810
Tell it, sister.
86
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,646
I get along just fine
without him.
87
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:06,780
Now you're talking!
88
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,615
Can I sleep
in your room tonight?
89
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,954
Well, it's going to be
a little crowded...
90
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,025
but what the hell?
It is a great place
to meet men.
91
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:25,899
You're not finished
going over the books yet?
92
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,901
No. There's $300
I can't account for
93
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,236
and it's driving me crazy.
94
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,172
Oh, well, just do what I do
when my checkbook
won't balance.
95
00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:34,741
Just take the $300
and put it in
the whoopsie column.
96
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:39,413
Huh? There must be
something wrong
with this ledger.
97
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,782
I‐I can't find
any whoopsie column.
98
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,150
What the...
99
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,718
Now, don't get sarcastic.
100
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,119
I learned that system
101
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,955
from a guy who owned
a savings and loan.
102
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,356
It's perfectly legal.
103
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,862
Look, this is more
than whoopsie money,
Blanche.
104
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:57,531
There's a pattern
going on here.
105
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:58,932
I think
somebody's stealing.
106
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,134
Oh? Oh. Well, then...
107
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,436
then the thief
has to be caught.
108
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,105
I will not allow
thievery in my hotel.
109
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,707
Oh, whoever
this guttersnipe is,
110
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:07,808
I'll snatch him.
111
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,376
You'd be surprised
how good I am
112
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:11,578
at getting people
to expose themselves.
113
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,084
Okay, well, look,
I hope I'm wrong
about this,
114
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,253
but until we're sure,
let's just watch
what we spend,
115
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:21,788
and we don't
want to arouse any
unnecessary suspicion,
116
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,424
so, whatever you do,
don't tell anybody
we got money problems.
117
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:25,759
My lips are sealed.
118
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:28,929
Rose, we've got
money problems.
119
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,533
You're telling me?
120
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,301
We lost another duck
this morning.
121
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:39,907
No, I mean,
there's money missing
from this hotel.
122
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,808
Now, we can't afford
something like this.
123
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,411
Not with profits
being as low
as they have been, lately.
124
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:45,846
Oh, God,
what do we do?
125
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,714
Well, we have to do
whatever we have to do
126
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,416
‐to get more business.
‐Oh, yeah.
127
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,385
Did you enjoy your stay
at the Golden Palace?
128
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:53,353
‐Well, actually, no.
‐No?
129
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:57,491
You see, I came down here
to visit my aunt Edna
in the hospital.
130
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,326
She's the only family
I have left,
131
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,429
and the doctor says
it doesn't look very good.
132
00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:05,365
(sobbing) When she's gone,
I'll be all alone.
133
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,069
Well, when you come back
for the funeral,
134
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,437
I hope you think of us.
135
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:17,277
Blanche, I can't
believe you.
136
00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:19,613
Well, I'm sorry,
but if we keep
losing money like this,
137
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,248
we'll all be out
walking the streets.
138
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,850
Well, at least
you'll have a job.
139
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,556
Excuse me.
140
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,893
Now, you leave
my personal life
out of this, you nitwit.
141
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:35,729
Don't you take
your frustrations
out on me, you...
142
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,197
cheap...scallop.
143
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,669
The word is trollop,
you moron.
144
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:44,404
I am a cheap trollop.
145
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:48,642
Excuse me.
146
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,712
I'm looking for
a friendly, relaxed place
to hold my wedding.
147
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,548
‐You certainly came
to the right place.
‐Oh, welcome.
148
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,850
‐We're wedding
specialists.
‐Oh.
149
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,152
For the right price,
we can do anything.
150
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:01,388
I can give you
ice sculptures,
151
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,991
champagne fountains,
a string quartet.
152
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,859
We're getting married
in two days.
153
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:08,362
Crepe paper
and pudding pops.
Take it or leave it.
154
00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:11,398
I was hoping
for something
155
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,635
with a little more
romance and class.
156
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,803
I have a great idea
for a theme,
157
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,672
If you don't mind
tradition.
158
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:21,708
I call it
"contentment isn't
just for cows."
159
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,215
This is your idea
of tradition?
160
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,983
It's a St. Olaf
tradition.
161
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:31,618
Rose, that's the dumbest
thing I ever heard.
162
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,320
‐I love it.
‐It's perfect.
163
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,757
I was raised
in the country.
164
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,725
This sounds like
a lot of fun.
165
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,260
What do you envision?
166
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,929
It's a little daring,
167
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,164
but I see the groom
in black
168
00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:46,166
and the bride in white.
169
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,302
You know, classic
Holstein colors.
170
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:53,006
Oh, no.
Not the cow wedding
again, Rose.
171
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,508
Let me write you
a check.
172
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:55,576
It's perfect.
173
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:56,610
(dings)
174
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,584
There's another
$200 missing.
175
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,819
Another 200?
Did you check?
176
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,354
Yeah. I even checked
the whoopsie column.
177
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:11,325
Okay, that's it.
No more stalling.
178
00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:13,160
We got to find out
who that thief is.
179
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,429
It's somebody at this hotel,
somebody who works here.
180
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:16,897
They're probably
doing something
181
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,365
to throw us
off the track.
182
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:21,268
I tell you,
whoever it is
is just playing dumb.
183
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,136
(dings)
184
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,271
May I help you?
185
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,179
(dings)
186
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,447
May I help you?
187
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:37,384
Darn those kids.
188
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,456
Nobody could be
that stupid.
189
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:43,524
Got to be an act.
190
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:44,558
Let's go nail her.
191
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,695
Rose, wait a minute.
192
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,564
Let's talk about
this money you took.
193
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:51,598
Oh, no.
194
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,236
Oh, I knew I'd
get caught eventually.
195
00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:58,805
Thank goodness
it's out in the open.
196
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,407
I don't have
to hide anymore.
197
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:02,910
How did Yurgin find me?
198
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:06,647
Yurgin who?
199
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,482
Yurgin Shtultvinbrudengurder.
200
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:16,056
The boy I took
the nickel from
in the third grade.
201
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,527
He was the class magician
202
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,596
and he was doing
this trick on me.
203
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,264
You know, where you put
a nickel in one ear
204
00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:25,432
and pull it out
the other?
205
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,270
Well, somehow
the nickel got lost
between my ears.
206
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:37,211
You know, I've never been
able to get that nickel
off my mind.
207
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:42,816
Poor Yurgin.
He wanted so much
to be a magician.
208
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,418
I ruined his life.
209
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,919
We know
how he feels, Rose.
210
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,391
Well, at least now
I know it's not her.
Who's next?
211
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:52,793
Well, how about Sophia?
212
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,895
Sophia?
Don't be ridiculous.
213
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,097
She would never
steal from us.
214
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,866
Sophia's been
like a mother to me
215
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,100
for these
last eight years.
216
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,135
I wouldn't dream
of accusing her.
217
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,004
All right,
you little witch,
where's the money?
218
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:10,310
What money? I don't know
what you're talking about.
219
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:12,479
Stop stalling.
Don't make me get rough.
220
00:10:12,513 --> 00:10:13,914
I'm not talking, screw.
221
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,652
And, by the way,
that's a nickname,
not a suggestion.
222
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,359
Listen, Sophia,
there's $500 missing
from this hotel,
223
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,927
and you had access
to that money.
224
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,062
That's right,
and somebody
had to take it.
225
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,864
So, you assume it was me?
226
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,099
I'm the most
honest person here.
227
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,067
I've never done
a dishonest thing
in my life.
228
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,969
Oh, yeah? Would you take
a lie detector test?
229
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,571
Ah, you can beat
those things.
230
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,442
Okay, Sophia,
you don't want to talk.
231
00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:44,144
Perhaps you'd prefer
to listen
232
00:10:44,178 --> 00:10:46,146
to one of Rose's
St. Olaf stories!
233
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,450
Please, Blanche,
I told you,
234
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,652
I didn't take the money.
235
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:54,021
Okay, Rose, give her
the Uncle Herky story
236
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:56,089
and don't hold back
on the talking chickens.
237
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,627
Blanche, there are
no talking chickens
238
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,930
in the Uncle Herky story.
239
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,865
Yeah, that's right.
There's no talking chickens.
240
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,034
There's ticktocking
chickens.
241
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,502
Little poultry
time bombs,
242
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:09,536
every one of them.
243
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,371
Emotional messes.
244
00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:12,806
They roamed through
the countryside‐‐
245
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,608
Stop it, Blanche!
Stop it! Stop it!
246
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:17,211
Oh‐ho! I knew
it was you all along!
247
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:18,745
It's not me.
248
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,948
I just wanted to hear
the Uncle Herky story
from Rose.
249
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,015
It sounds pretty cool.
250
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,685
Thanks for
the diversion, Chuy.
251
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:27,187
It's good to know that
I have at least one friend
who will stick up for me.
252
00:11:27,221 --> 00:11:29,690
Besides,
it's obvious who
took the money.
253
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:31,859
Or should
I say... dinero?
254
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:33,794
Chuy: What?
255
00:11:35,229 --> 00:11:36,964
What is she
talking about?
256
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,198
Why would I take
the money?
257
00:11:38,232 --> 00:11:39,867
Oh, Chuy, let's face it.
258
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,668
You're the most likely
suspect.
259
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,305
You know, this isn't
the first time
260
00:11:45,339 --> 00:11:47,374
I've been
on the receiving end
of prejudice.
261
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,476
I know I look different.
262
00:11:49,510 --> 00:11:51,345
People like you
take one look
at a guy like me
263
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,946
and just jump
to conclusions.
264
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:59,586
Boy, short guys
are so insecure.
265
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:06,126
So, I've made
a decision.
266
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,095
I'm getting
back together again
with Miles.
267
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,162
What?
268
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,697
Oh, don't try
to talk me out of it.
269
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:13,233
I've given this
a lot of thought.
270
00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:15,502
I'm going to make him
suffer a little bit...
271
00:12:15,536 --> 00:12:17,738
I'm going to make him
plead with me...
272
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,072
but I'm going to give in.
273
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:22,209
But, why, honey?
You were doing
so well on your own.
274
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:25,145
Oh, Blanche,
I'm not doing
that well.
275
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,714
It took me ten years
to get over Charlie,
276
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,983
and I don't have that
kind of time again.
277
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,353
I mean, maybe I am
giving in,
278
00:12:33,387 --> 00:12:35,122
maybe I'm settling...
279
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,758
but at my age, I can't
afford to be proud.
280
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,593
Ah, but, Rose‐‐
281
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:40,827
Well, what can I tell you?
282
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,996
I still call him up
in the middle
of the night
283
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:45,432
just to hear
the cute things
he says...
284
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,935
(sighs) "Don't you know
what time it is?"
285
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,438
"This happens again,
I'm calling
the police."
286
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,074
"Who the hell
is this?"
287
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:59,479
And then,
before I hang up,
I always say...
288
00:12:59,513 --> 00:13:02,916
"You blew it
big time,
smart boy."
289
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,386
And he doesn't
recognize your voice?
290
00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:08,889
No. I talk to him
through a kazoo.
291
00:13:18,599 --> 00:13:22,803
And after the kiss,
you and your new husband...
292
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,905
will head back
up the aisle,
293
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,740
your bridesmaids
will moo...
294
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:31,745
and that will be that.
295
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,480
Oh, it's beautiful.
296
00:13:33,514 --> 00:13:36,650
Oh, it's the wedding
I never had.
297
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,218
My husband Charlie
wouldn't allow me
298
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:40,587
to have a dairy theme
at ours.
299
00:13:40,621 --> 00:13:42,589
‐He was...
‐Proud?
300
00:13:42,623 --> 00:13:44,291
Lactose intolerant.
301
00:13:46,627 --> 00:13:49,830
Well, I hope you get
your wish someday.
302
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:52,666
Who knows?
Maybe I will.
303
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:55,135
I'm having
my old boyfriend
over today.
304
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,336
He wants me back.
305
00:13:57,571 --> 00:14:00,274
I'm sure you're going
to make him very happy.
306
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,075
I'm going
to make him crawl.
307
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,914
Boy, I'm glad I'm out
of the dating scene.
308
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:09,449
My man problems
are over forever.
309
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,718
‐Oh.
‐Fern?
310
00:14:11,752 --> 00:14:13,086
(both) Miles.
311
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,454
You know him?
312
00:14:14,488 --> 00:14:17,391
Oh, yes. This is the man
I'm getting back together with.
313
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,227
Do you know him?
314
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,462
This is the man
I'm going to marry.
315
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,633
This is the man
who's my secret lover.
316
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,075
Just pointing out that
things could get worse.
317
00:14:44,852 --> 00:14:47,754
This is the man
you're going
to marry? Miles?
318
00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:50,090
My Miles?
319
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:53,327
You were planning on
getting back together again
with this woman?
320
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,696
No, I just came down here
to talk to Rose.
321
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,831
You came down here
to cheat on Fern.
322
00:14:57,865 --> 00:14:59,366
No, I'm not cheating
on Fern.
323
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,902
So, would you like to explain
why you showed up here
324
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:03,604
to beg me
to take you back?
325
00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:06,507
Rose, I'm here to tell you
I am getting married.
326
00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:08,675
Ha! You call that
begging?
327
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,815
This is horrible.
Rose, I'm sorry.
328
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:15,883
Roland: So, wait a minute.
329
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,551
Miles, you didn't know that
Fern was planning on
330
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:18,585
having
the wedding here?
331
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,421
No, I had no idea.
332
00:15:21,455 --> 00:15:24,258
I didn't tell you
because I wanted
to surprise you
333
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,559
with the cow theme.
334
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,593
(chuckles)
335
00:15:28,629 --> 00:15:30,364
We're‐‐ we're having
a cow theme?
336
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:31,398
I know.
337
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:33,901
Isn't that, like,
the craziest thing
338
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,135
you've ever
heard of?
339
00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:36,870
I've heard of it,
but I never dreamed
340
00:15:36,904 --> 00:15:38,472
I'd be lucky enough
to have one.
341
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:45,345
So, whose idea
do you think it was?
342
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:48,315
How many times
have you and I talked about
this very thing?
343
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:49,383
Look, Rose, sweetheart‐‐
344
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,351
Don't sweetheart me.
345
00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:53,520
This was supposed
to be our day...
346
00:15:53,554 --> 00:15:56,557
our wedding, our life.
347
00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:59,526
Well, you blew it
big time, smart boy.
348
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,031
Oh, my god.
She's the kazoo woman!
349
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,475
You're up late.
350
00:16:15,509 --> 00:16:17,878
(scoffs) What choice
do I have?
351
00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:19,146
I have to go
through all my cookbooks
352
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:22,883
just to find a clue
as to what
a cow wedding might be.
353
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:25,285
It's not like
there's a lot written
about it, you know.
354
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:27,054
So, what are you
going to make?
355
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,755
I don't know.
What do cows eat?
356
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:30,557
Grass.
357
00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:34,394
Hey, there's an idea.
358
00:16:36,897 --> 00:16:39,066
You know, I could bake
359
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,368
some of those brownies
I used to make in the '60s.
360
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:45,405
Never mind.
361
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,141
Can't sleep, Sophia?
362
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,577
No. I'm still upset
about that inquisition
363
00:16:50,611 --> 00:16:51,645
Blanche
put me through.
364
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,847
Stealing.
She accused me
of stealing.
365
00:16:53,881 --> 00:16:55,549
That's my purse, Sophia.
366
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,186
Well, Rose, there you are.
367
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,456
Listen, I can't sleep
because of this wedding.
368
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:03,991
You know, the business
is not that important.
369
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,492
If you don't want
to have the wedding here,
370
00:17:05,526 --> 00:17:07,294
‐let's call it off.
‐No, it's okay.
371
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,496
I mean, we need
the business.
372
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:13,400
I just feel so stupid
thinking Miles was
coming here to apologize.
373
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,568
You're doing
the right thing, Rose.
374
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,436
You should always place
your business first.
375
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,605
In fact, I have
a little story
about that.
376
00:17:18,639 --> 00:17:20,541
‐Really?
‐Picture it...
377
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,944
an old Italian lady
tells a story
378
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,846
to two other
old ladies
and a cook.
379
00:17:27,948 --> 00:17:30,484
No. That's what's
going on here.
380
00:17:32,686 --> 00:17:34,221
I got to go
further back.
381
00:17:35,956 --> 00:17:38,559
Never mind, Sophia.
I'll work it out myself.
382
00:17:38,592 --> 00:17:39,626
Where's she going?
383
00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:41,495
I got it. I got it.
384
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:42,696
Picture it...
385
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,998
the time
when dinosaurs
ruled the earth.
386
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:48,001
Oh, great.
Now she's going to tell us
387
00:17:48,035 --> 00:17:49,469
one of her
high school stories.
388
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:58,412
Rose, can I talk to you
for a second?
389
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,514
I'm pretty busy
right now, Miles.
390
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,216
Can't this wait
till after you're married
391
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:05,018
to someone other than me?
392
00:18:05,052 --> 00:18:09,156
(sighs) Look, Rose,
I know how awkward
this has been for you,
393
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:10,724
but you have
to believe me, Rose.
394
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,492
I had no intention
of hurting you.
395
00:18:12,526 --> 00:18:14,761
I'm a professional, Miles.
396
00:18:14,795 --> 00:18:16,630
I would never let
my personal feelings
for you
397
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:19,433
keep me from planning
the best wedding I can.
398
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,268
Well, I'm glad
to hear that, Rose.
399
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,072
Hey, what are
these stones for?
400
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,207
I thought we'd throw them
instead of rice.
401
00:18:32,012 --> 00:18:33,647
Ah...
402
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,415
No, Rose,
this is not right.
403
00:18:35,449 --> 00:18:37,584
I can't
get married here.
404
00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:39,853
No, damn it,
you can't do this to me.
405
00:18:39,887 --> 00:18:41,722
You have
to get married here.
406
00:18:43,724 --> 00:18:44,958
Miles,
don't you understand?
407
00:18:44,992 --> 00:18:47,261
It's‐‐ it's not
the business,
408
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,530
It's not the money,
it's me.
409
00:18:50,931 --> 00:18:52,799
I have to see you
get married.
410
00:18:54,101 --> 00:18:58,238
I need to know that
our relationship is over.
411
00:18:58,272 --> 00:19:00,207
I want to get on
with my life, too.
412
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:04,444
I understand.
413
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:27,401
Aha!
414
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,136
(laughs)
415
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,704
Caught you
with your pants down.
416
00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:36,310
It's not exactly
like being first man
on the moon.
417
00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:40,914
I can't
believe this, Blanche.
You're the embezzler.
418
00:19:40,948 --> 00:19:44,017
I'm not embezzling.
I'm just taking
some money.
419
00:19:44,051 --> 00:19:45,319
Yeah, and Mickey Rooney's
not short,
420
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,753
he's just a couple
of blocks away.
421
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:57,731
You want to tell me
what you're doing?
422
00:19:57,764 --> 00:20:00,601
It so happens
I'm taking this money
to hire a detective
423
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:01,835
to catch the embezzler.
424
00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:06,006
It's you, Blanche.
Taking the money
is taking the money.
425
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,608
‐(sighs)
‐You're embezzling.
426
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:10,444
No. This is for
business expenses.
427
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:11,979
Did you put a receipt
in the cash drawer?
428
00:20:12,012 --> 00:20:14,581
Why would I put a receipt
in the cash drawer?
It's my money.
429
00:20:14,615 --> 00:20:17,084
Blanche, the cash drawer
is not your cookie jar.
430
00:20:17,117 --> 00:20:19,853
That's the business' money.
What you're doing
is embezzling.
431
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:21,622
Whoopsie!
432
00:20:23,824 --> 00:20:26,960
Silly me. I do this
all the time.
433
00:20:26,994 --> 00:20:29,363
I guess we don't need
to hire a detective,
after all.
434
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:31,732
Wait a minute.
That's it?
435
00:20:31,765 --> 00:20:33,767
You stir up
all these accusations
and mistrust,
436
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,536
and now you're just
going to walk away?
437
00:20:35,569 --> 00:20:39,273
‐You are right. I owe you
all more than that.
‐Thank you.
438
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:40,340
I'm going to buy
a new dress
439
00:20:40,374 --> 00:20:41,375
to look pretty
for you.
440
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:54,354
Fern, what's wrong?
Everyone's waiting.
441
00:20:54,388 --> 00:20:57,157
I don't think
I can do this.
442
00:20:57,191 --> 00:20:58,926
I'm sorry, Rose,
it's a beautiful wedding,
443
00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:00,561
but I just can't
go through with it.
444
00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:02,863
‐Why not?
‐It's Miles.
445
00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:04,998
I looked out there
and I saw him standing
with the Minister
446
00:21:05,032 --> 00:21:06,834
and I panicked.
447
00:21:06,867 --> 00:21:09,236
Maybe I'm making
a huge mistake.
448
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:12,673
Well, you are,
if you don't want to
walk down that aisle.
449
00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:14,308
Oh...
450
00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:18,679
Miles Webber is one of
the finest men I've ever met
in my entire life.
451
00:21:18,712 --> 00:21:24,651
He's kind and sweet
and giving and funny.
452
00:21:24,685 --> 00:21:27,721
And he loves you
very much.
453
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:30,724
You're a lucky woman, Fern,
don't throw that away.
454
00:21:33,026 --> 00:21:35,796
You're a beautiful
person, Rose.
455
00:21:35,829 --> 00:21:38,966
Why would Miles
pick me over you?
456
00:21:38,999 --> 00:21:42,302
Well, I guess, he'd
rather have someone
to look at than talk to.
457
00:21:48,609 --> 00:21:50,577
Now, come on,
you get in there.
458
00:21:50,611 --> 00:21:53,280
I don't want to
see you again
until you're...
459
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:54,481
Mrs. Miles Webber.
460
00:21:55,616 --> 00:21:56,617
Oh!
461
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,188
(exhales)
462
00:22:01,221 --> 00:22:04,157
(altar music playing)
463
00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:11,198
Well, the oven
repairman's leaving.
464
00:22:11,231 --> 00:22:13,867
Boy, it's not easy
getting him out here
on the weekends.
465
00:22:13,901 --> 00:22:16,103
Oh, I should have asked him
to take a look at the oven
466
00:22:16,136 --> 00:22:17,204
while he was here.
467
00:22:19,873 --> 00:22:21,408
How's the wedding going?
468
00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:22,442
Fine.
469
00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:24,678
Are you okay?
470
00:22:27,047 --> 00:22:28,348
You're doing
the right thing, honey.
471
00:22:28,382 --> 00:22:29,416
I want you to know that.
472
00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:30,684
Oh, I know.
473
00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:32,686
I'm happy.
Really. I am.
474
00:22:33,654 --> 00:22:34,655
Are you sure?
475
00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:39,893
You know me.
I always cry
at weddings.
476
00:22:53,574 --> 00:22:54,942
Look, I can't
figure this out.
477
00:22:54,975 --> 00:22:58,045
I just checked the book
again and there's still
$100 missing.
478
00:22:58,078 --> 00:22:59,346
Well, it wasn't me
this time.
479
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:00,480
Now, you keep
looking for that.
480
00:23:00,514 --> 00:23:02,349
If we don't find it,
heads will roll.
481
00:23:04,852 --> 00:23:06,220
Man, I got to get lucky.
482
00:23:08,455 --> 00:23:09,456
I...
35653
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