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1
00:00:00,601 --> 00:00:03,804
♪ Ooh‐ooh‐ooh
2
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,807
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,410
♪ Travel down the road
And back again ♪
4
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,212
♪ Your heart is true
5
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:15,415
♪ You're a pal
And a confidante ♪
6
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:20,554
♪ And if you threw
A party ♪
7
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:24,558
♪ Invited everyone
You knew ♪
8
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,293
♪ You would see
9
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:28,996
♪ The biggest gift
Would be from me ♪
10
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,431
♪ And the card attached
Would say ♪
11
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,467
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
12
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,502
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
13
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,638
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
14
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:41,608
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
15
00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,693
(telephone ringing)
16
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,403
Well, I think
we've outdone
ourselves.
17
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:13,173
This is shaping
up to be the best
Christmas ever.
18
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,541
What do you say,
Sophia?
19
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,310
Christmas, shmistmas.
20
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,213
What's that
supposed to mean?
21
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:24,117
Nothing. I'm just proud
with these teeth,
I can still say it.
22
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:26,620
I just think it's wonderful
that because of this hotel,
23
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:30,257
we're able to open
ourselves up to strangers
in the spirit of love.
24
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:33,527
Yeah, it'll save you travel time
from one hotel to another.
25
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,232
Chuy, you've been out
in that kitchen all day.
26
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:41,535
What delicious surprise have
you prepared for tonight's
Christmas dinner?
27
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:45,572
Enchiladas Rancheras.
28
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,775
Oh, Chuy, it's Christmas Eve.
You're gonna have to do
better than that.
29
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:50,544
Hey, if you think
I'm gonna stay
in that kitchen
30
00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:53,447
roasting my chestnuts
anymore, you're crazy.
31
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:59,286
Actually, Christmas isn't
exactly my favorite time
of year.
32
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,221
Yeah.
Christmas, shmistmas.
33
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,123
Hey, that's pretty good
with those teeth.
34
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:07,160
Not really.
The uppers just swiped.
35
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:11,698
I'll tell you why
I don't love Christmas.
36
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:15,068
I got drafted on Christmas,
I got divorced on Christmas,
37
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:17,538
but there's one thing
that's worse than
any of those...
38
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:21,041
El queque navidad
de los Castillos.
39
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:24,211
‐What's that?
‐"The Castillos walking
Christmas cake."
40
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:26,747
It ruined Christmas
for me forever.
41
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,715
It was this promotional
idea my dad came up with
42
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:31,251
to get people into
the restaurant on Christmas.
43
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:36,290
I had to dress up as
a layer cake and walk
amongst the customers.
44
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,026
Then I had this big headdress
made out of whipped cream
and spoons and
45
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,494
people would pick
bites off me.
46
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,764
I felt like Tippi Hedren
in The Birds.
47
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,702
Boy, whatever happened
to normal Christmas traditions?
48
00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,838
I know.
That reminds me,
49
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,706
I have to melt cheese
on my pillow,
50
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,908
or Santa won't fill
my stocking with stew.
51
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,684
No. No, I understand.
52
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:06,653
Oh, it'll be my pleasure
to help out. Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
53
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,422
Okay, yeah.
You're very welcome.
Bye‐bye.
54
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:09,623
Who was that?
55
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,625
It's a guy I know down
at the children's hospital.
56
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,927
Yeah, they want me
to play Santa Claus
for the kids tomorrow.
57
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,662
‐Ah.
‐Their original Santa
fell through.
58
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,030
Oh, Roland,
59
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,532
this is
quite an honor.
60
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,667
I hope you've had
the necessary training.
61
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,970
It's no big deal,
Rose. I'm just gonna
put on a red suit
62
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,671
and go down there
and pass out some gifts.
63
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,240
Oh, no, you're not,
buster!
64
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,309
What?
65
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:32,012
The real Santa doesn't
go through the motions.
66
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,348
If you're going to do this,
you're going to do it right.
67
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,216
‐Now, let's see
your belly.
‐(Roland chuckles)
68
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:40,320
‐I beg your pardon?
‐Your belly, mister!
69
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:44,992
I hope you can
make it shake
70
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,426
like a bowl full
of jelly.
71
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,561
Show him, Blanche.
72
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,605
Rose, I do 150
sit‐ups every night
73
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,407
to get my stomach
to look like this.
74
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,410
Oh, great,
a taut Santa.
75
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:06,246
Oh, we have
a lot of work
to do, my friend.
76
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,449
That's not much
of a beard. I hope
you can come up with
77
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:12,352
some really good
facial hair by tomorrow.
78
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,454
Show him, Sophia.
79
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:25,465
All right,
let's try this again.
80
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,668
‐Rose, we got
a lot of work to do.
‐Roland!
81
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:29,736
Next.
82
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,855
‐Hewwo, Santa.
‐Hel‐‐ Aah!
83
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:51,758
I'm warning you,
little girl.
84
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:52,960
You pinch Santa
there again,
85
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,428
he's going to wing
your wittle neck.
86
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:59,499
All right, now ask her
what she wants.
87
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:02,002
What do you want
for Christmas,
little girl?
88
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,004
I want to stay
on your lap till
New Year's.
89
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,907
Sophia!
90
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,909
All right. How about
a sponge bath
from the elves?
91
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,611
Get off me.
Get off me, Sophia.
92
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,279
Jolly. Be jolly.
93
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,581
Get off me,
you disgusting
little old woman.
94
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,350
Ho‐ho‐ho‐ho!
95
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,353
You're doing
much better, Roland.
96
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:22,456
Don't forget
that twinkle
in your eye!
97
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,292
‐Yes, sir, may I help you?
‐I'm Dr. Norman Charles from
the Inner Strength seminars.
98
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,693
Oh, delighted
to meet you.
99
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,662
We've been looking
forward to your group
checking in today.
100
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,397
Good. Then we get
all this cleaned up?
101
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,466
‐Excuse me?
‐Get rid of all these
decorations
102
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,567
before we check in.
103
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,035
The woman I spoke to
on the telephone
104
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,871
promised me a strictly
Yuletide‐free environment.
105
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:40,507
She said it would be no problem
to totally ignore Christmas?
106
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:43,544
Actually, she said,
"Christmas, shmistmas,"
which I found rather impressive.
107
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,482
Wait a minute,
I don't understand.
Who doesn't like Christmas?
108
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,651
This is a group of
recently divorced people,
109
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,020
bitter over having their
hopes and dreams shattered.
110
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,655
The basis
of my whole therapy
is to take people
111
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,156
who are traumatized
over Christmas
112
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,825
and put them in
a bland, non‐festive
environment.
113
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,994
Yeah. But a couple
of wreaths ain't gonna
hurt anybody.
114
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,996
Perhaps we should cancel
our 15 rooms.
115
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,365
What is a wreath,
anyway?
116
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,236
I mean, some
people say it's
a symbol of hope.
117
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,071
I say it's
a fire hazard
with holly.
118
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:14,775
And that's
the way it is.
119
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,476
Any signs
of Christmas
whatsoever,
120
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,711
and these
people are
gonna check out.
121
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,046
Well, that's
just rotten.
122
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,514
Sophia, I hope
you're satisfied.
123
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,482
You've just ruined Christmas
for all of us.
124
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,952
I can't believe
you'd do something
so stupid and careless.
125
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,520
What do you have to say
for yourself?
126
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,322
God bless us,
everyone.
127
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,194
What's that
supposed to mean?
128
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,396
Nothing. I'm just
trying to get out
of it by being cute.
129
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,034
Look, we're just
gonna have to make
the best of this, okay?
130
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,370
Now, we're all
responsible adults.
We can handle it.
131
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,706
♪ Deck the halls
With boughs of holly ♪
132
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,142
♪ Fa‐la‐la‐la‐la
La‐la‐la‐la ♪
133
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:50,577
We need to talk, Rose.
134
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,079
Oh, Rose isn't here!
135
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:55,649
I'm Nicodemus,
Santa's number one
helper‐in‐chief!
136
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,788
Rose, honey, we've got
some bad news.
137
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,590
Now, there's been
a terrible mix‐up.
138
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:07,060
We cannot mention Christmas
in front of this group
of guests we've got coming.
139
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,197
‐What?
‐So, of course that means
the costume's got to go.
140
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,865
No way!
141
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:14,668
I'm gonna wear my elf costume,
or I'm gonna walk around naked.
142
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:21,008
I know. I've said
the same thing
myself many times.
143
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,480
But, honey,
try to understand.
144
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:29,917
They'll check out if they see
or hear anything that has
to do with Christmas.
145
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,819
Well, can't we
secretly celebrate
in one of our rooms?
146
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,289
No, no, no.
Look, if they hear
a Christmas carol
147
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:38,458
or laughter
or merriment of any kind,
they're just gonna leave.
148
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:41,461
Oh, does that mean
all kinds of merriment?
149
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:47,801
Well, I made a late date
with a Dickens' Caroler,
150
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,469
and I have
great expectations.
151
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,041
So, we can
expect to hear
152
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,543
"Please, sir,
I want some more."
153
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,484
Cancel the date, Blanche.
154
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,386
Oh, but it's
Christmas!
155
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:09,089
Oh, that's right.
And we're all gonna
be so disappointed
156
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,024
if we can't
have Christmas.
157
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,160
Well, the tree's
in the dumpster,
158
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,962
and I feel like
a million bucks.
(chuckles)
159
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,763
This is gonna be
the best Christmas
ever, huh?
160
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,298
No caroling,
no gifts,
161
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,167
no dinner
to clean up
afterwards.
162
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,236
No reminders
of Christmas
whatsoever.
163
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:25,005
Excuse me.
Didn't you forget to say,
"Bah, humbug"?
164
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:28,642
So I did.
Bah, humbug!
(laughs)
165
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,644
Bah, humbug.
166
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:34,248
Chuy, every time
you say "Bah, humbug,"
an elf cries.
167
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:37,417
Rose, the elves
are crying because
they're lonely little men
168
00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:39,953
whose dating pool
consists of reindeer
and each other.
169
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,358
Look, I'm sorry,
we just obviously have
170
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,627
very different ideas
about Christmas.
171
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,662
I don't think
people should go into
hock up to their ears
172
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,297
to buy gifts for people
who are just gonna
173
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,232
leave them
and desert
them anyways.
174
00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:53,967
Christmas,
who needs it?
175
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,637
Bah, humbug!
176
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:57,938
(Rose sobbing) Oh!
177
00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:01,508
How can anybody be so cruel
on Christmas Eve?
178
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,778
Let's fire him!
179
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,621
Christmas...
180
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,456
Bah, humbug.
181
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:17,958
Christmas...
182
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,626
(gasps)
183
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,029
Oh.
I was having a dream.
184
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,064
Yeah, I was just having‐‐
185
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,499
(shrieks)
186
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:27,234
Chuy...
187
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,803
Chuy Castillos.
188
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,772
Who are you?
189
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,779
Rose? What are you
doing in my bedroom?
190
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,582
I am the Ghost
of Christmas Past.
191
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,150
What?
192
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,585
Why am I wearing
this goofy hat?
193
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:50,390
‐Haven't you ever had
a Christmas dream before?
‐Never!
194
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:53,060
They only come
to those who wait.
195
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,462
No, that's
something else.
196
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:03,971
You're not really here.
You're just something
I ate at Woodstock.
197
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:07,541
Chuy Castillos...
198
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:10,611
you have neglected
the spirit of Christmas
199
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:13,647
and the welfare
of your fellow man.
200
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,584
I am going to take you back
to your childhood.
201
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:20,954
Okay.
But can we skip
junior high?
202
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,656
I had zits
and no friends.
203
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,859
Save it
for the shrink.
204
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,096
Come with me.
205
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,899
Come with me.
206
00:10:32,533 --> 00:10:34,334
Come with me.
207
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:35,636
Come with me.
208
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,272
Come with me.
209
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,509
My mistake.
210
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,711
My mistake.
211
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,580
My mistake.
212
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,049
My mistake.
213
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:03,230
Behold, the kitchen of
your father's restaurant
214
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:06,066
that you left
30 years ago.
215
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:10,037
Actually, this is
the kitchen of the hotel
I left 30 minutes ago.
216
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,673
Was there an oven
in your father's
kitchen?
217
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:13,740
Yes.
218
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:16,543
Was there a sink
in your father's
kitchen?
219
00:11:16,577 --> 00:11:17,711
Yes.
220
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:19,780
Then shut up
and work with
me on this.
221
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,153
Hey, it's my pop.
222
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,589
I never realized
what a good‐looking
man he was.
223
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,959
Hey, Pop,
looking good!
224
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:35,529
He can neither
see nor hear us.
225
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:37,064
Who said that?
226
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,467
Okay, Chuy.
227
00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:43,804
‐Chuy, come out, mijo.
‐Young Chuy: No!
228
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,807
Chuy, all the customers
are waiting for you, son.
229
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,408
Make them go away!
230
00:11:48,442 --> 00:11:50,210
I can't do that.
231
00:11:50,244 --> 00:11:53,881
They're all waiting
for el queque navidad
de los Castillos.
232
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,916
We can't have Christmas
without you, mijo.
233
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,718
Oh, here it comes.
I can't look.
234
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,486
Look, look.
235
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,555
How bad can it be?
236
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,930
(laughing)
237
00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:13,133
I‐‐
(clears throat)
238
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,003
I feel stupid.
239
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,504
You tell him, kid.
240
00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:19,106
Stupid?
241
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:22,309
The most important
member of our family?
242
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,912
You have been given
a great honor.
243
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:28,215
You are the one that gets
to walk into the room
with dignity,
244
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,652
carrying 12 generations
of Castillos tradition
with you,
245
00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:33,086
so stand tall.
246
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,988
You are
the chosen one.
247
00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:36,790
Now come here. I got
to fill up that hat.
248
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,567
Do you know what it's
like your head filled
with whipped cream?
249
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:48,435
Mmm‐hmm.
250
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:56,076
Tell me again,
why am I reliving
this humiliation?
251
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:59,146
Chuy Castillos,
your father was
trying to teach you
252
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,081
a valuable lesson,
253
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,083
but because of
your embarrassment,
254
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,385
you didn't listen.
255
00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:06,687
Now remember,
Chuy,
256
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,089
the reason we
open our restaurant
on Christmas
257
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,725
is so that people without
a loving family like ours
258
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:15,128
can have a nice, warm,
friendly place to celebrate
the holidays.
259
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,764
This is what
Christmas is all about,
260
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,833
the joy
of giving, huh?
261
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,502
I know that, Papa,
262
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:23,904
but why do I have
to wear the costume?
263
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,339
Because.
264
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:28,041
You can't charge
a two‐drink minimum
without a floor show.
265
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:30,077
Now get out there.
Come on, mijo.
266
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,913
I don't know
about you,
267
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,615
but I was touched.
268
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,652
Okay, Ghost
of Christmas Past...
269
00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:40,621
Where'd she go?
270
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,658
Whoa!
Who are you?
271
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:47,094
I am the Ghost of
Christmas Presents.
272
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,365
The Ghost of
Christmas Presents?
273
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,467
Don't you mean the Ghost
of Christmas Present?
274
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,503
Honey, do I come to where
you work and tell you
how to flip burgers?
275
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,174
Listen, back off!
276
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:02,576
Besides, I've learned
my Christmas lesson.
277
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,978
My dad wasn't
such a bad guy.
278
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:08,248
But still do you know what it's
like to be covered with whipped
cream on Christmas?
279
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,483
Oh, yeah.
280
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:15,022
Now, I have come
to find out what
presents you bought.
281
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,324
‐For who?
‐For that young fellow,
282
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,759
and those two
older ladies,
283
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:21,361
and that gorgeous
young Southern girl.
284
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:26,266
I didn't get them anything.
It's not like they're family.
285
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:30,204
Really? I wonder
if they feel the same
way about you.
286
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:31,505
Come and look.
287
00:14:33,507 --> 00:14:35,042
♪ Two turtle doves
288
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:38,011
♪ And a partridge
In a pear tree ♪
289
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:41,048
Okay, okay, I believe you.
There is a 48‐day version.
290
00:14:42,416 --> 00:14:44,017
The last time I was
in a place this cold,
291
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,853
they were hanging up
Jimmy Hoffa by his‐‐
292
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:49,156
♪ Jingle bells
Jingle bells ♪
293
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,924
♪ Jingle all the way
294
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:53,193
Okay, okay.
Can we get out
of here, please?
295
00:14:53,227 --> 00:14:54,561
Oh, I'm so sorry.
296
00:14:54,595 --> 00:14:57,531
This is the only place
we can celebrate
the holiday
297
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,333
without upsetting
the guests.
298
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:02,269
I think what we all need
is some more eggnog.
299
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,876
You want some
nutmeg sprinkled
on top of that?
300
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,979
Can we get out
of here now, please?
301
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:14,414
That's not a very nice
Christmas attitude
302
00:15:14,448 --> 00:15:17,084
for someone who wants
to play St. Nick.
303
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:20,387
Come on, let's hear those
reindeer names, buster!
304
00:15:21,889 --> 00:15:25,259
Dancer, Prancer,
Donner, Blitzen,
305
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:26,793
freezin',
fricken', mother‐‐
306
00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:27,828
Roland!
307
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:37,738
Look, we're all cold,
but we can't leave until
we open our presents.
308
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,706
Oh, no, no, no.
We can't open
our presents yet.
309
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:42,242
Chuy's not here.
He's still in his room,
310
00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:44,378
probably wrapping
all our gifts.
311
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,481
Oops.
312
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:51,185
We can't open our presents till
Chuy gets here. Now, he's part
of the family.
313
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:52,986
You squirming yet?
314
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,122
Yeah, I'm squirming,
I'm squirming.
315
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:58,158
Boy, it's cold.
I'm frozen stiff.
316
00:15:58,192 --> 00:15:59,893
All I can move
is my mouth.
317
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,096
There's a no‐win situation.
318
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:06,400
I never thought
I'd say this,
319
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,035
but this has
really been
320
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,403
a wonderful
Christmas.
321
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,872
‐It's brought us all
closer together.
‐Yeah.
322
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:13,640
I mean,
we may not have the trimmings,
323
00:16:13,674 --> 00:16:15,542
but we've got each other.
324
00:16:15,576 --> 00:16:19,479
That's really more important
than all the fancy parties
and presents.
325
00:16:19,513 --> 00:16:21,949
You know,
that's the thing
about Christmas,
326
00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:23,617
you know
where your
home is.
327
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,219
I mean,
whether you can
get there or not,
328
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:26,386
you know
where it is.
329
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,455
‐Yeah, it's right here.
‐Yeah.
330
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,291
A toast,
then to us.
331
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:33,861
‐Yeah.
‐And Chuy.
332
00:16:33,894 --> 00:16:34,995
To absent friends.
333
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:36,363
Yeah.
Merry Christmas.
334
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:39,032
‐Merry Christmas.
‐Merry Christmas.
I love you.
335
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,434
So how do you feel?
336
00:16:41,602 --> 00:16:43,237
About this big.
337
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:46,306
Yeah, I'm cold, too.
Let's get out of here.
338
00:16:47,941 --> 00:16:49,776
(gasps)
339
00:16:49,810 --> 00:16:50,978
What a nightmare!
340
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,880
You're no
Andy Garcia
yourself.
341
00:16:56,617 --> 00:16:58,218
Who are you?
342
00:16:58,252 --> 00:17:00,220
Topper.
343
00:17:00,254 --> 00:17:02,856
I'm the Ghost
of Christmas
Yet to Come.
344
00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:04,658
You're not much
for picking up
on a pattern, are you?
345
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:06,493
Look at the TV.
346
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:10,430
Hey. It's me.
347
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:11,965
That's right.
It's your future.
348
00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:14,168
No. Don't show it to me.
I don't want to see it.
349
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:16,970
It's either this
or A Very Brady Christmas,
350
00:17:17,004 --> 00:17:19,506
and I've got the clicker,
so relax and enjoy.
351
00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:27,281
How far in the
future are we?
352
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:28,849
It's an all‐gay
army now.
353
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:29,917
They haven't
won any wars,
354
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:32,653
but the parades
are fabulous.
355
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,423
Psst!
356
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,094
Christmas gift
exchange at 5:00.
357
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,496
What are you, crazy?
358
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,232
You know the new owner
doesn't allow us
to celebrate Christmas.
359
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,333
New owner?
360
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,836
You mean
the ladies lose
the hotel?
361
00:17:48,869 --> 00:17:51,672
Rose, Rose. Rose,
it was horrible!
362
00:17:51,705 --> 00:17:53,407
Oh, Blanche,
what's wrong?
363
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,375
I just came
from my church social.
364
00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:59,046
Henry Richards,
the most eligible man
in the congregation,
365
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,147
he tried to...
366
00:18:01,048 --> 00:18:02,049
He tried to...
367
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,117
‐Kiss me.
‐Oh!
368
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,955
I just felt
so unclean.
369
00:18:07,988 --> 00:18:10,123
In the future,
Blanche hates men?
370
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:11,992
Pretty good
plot twist, huh?
371
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,263
I simply cannot ever
look at another man
372
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:19,566
ever since that horrible,
evil thing married me
373
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,035
and then divorced me
to get this hotel.
374
00:18:22,069 --> 00:18:24,571
‐Oh, I hate him!
‐Oh, I hate him, too.
375
00:18:24,605 --> 00:18:27,441
Hey, who is this
monster who bought
the hotel anyways?
376
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:30,944
Roland: Oh, look.
It's Mr. Castillos,
377
00:18:30,978 --> 00:18:32,012
prince of business,
378
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:34,381
who drives
all lesser mortals
before him
379
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,482
like leaves
in a storm.
380
00:18:35,516 --> 00:18:36,717
What's up?
381
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:37,985
Now do you see?
382
00:18:38,018 --> 00:18:39,386
Your hatred of Christmas
383
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,488
turned you
into a greedy,
selfish monster
384
00:18:41,522 --> 00:18:43,624
who everybody hates.
385
00:18:43,657 --> 00:18:45,559
Surely not everybody
can hate me.
386
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:46,894
What about Sophia?
387
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:48,962
Hey, where's Sophia?
388
00:18:48,996 --> 00:18:53,200
Oh, Mr. Castillos,
I know how you hate
and despise Christmas,
389
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:56,103
but I was wondering
if you perhaps could
find it in your heart
390
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:58,505
to let us have
a little celebration?
391
00:18:58,539 --> 00:19:00,107
You want a celebration?
392
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:01,842
Okay.
393
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:04,344
But we celebrate my way.
(laughs)
394
00:19:04,378 --> 00:19:06,413
Oh, Spoonhead!
395
00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:09,883
Spoonhead,
come out here!
396
00:19:09,917 --> 00:19:10,918
(Chuy laughs)
397
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,556
Dance, Spoonhead,
dance, I say!
398
00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,357
(laughing)
399
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,799
This is terrible!
400
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:28,502
Isn't there anything
I can do to stop this
from happening?
401
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,404
Of course
you can stop it.
402
00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:32,773
Change your
ways and you
change the future.
403
00:19:32,806 --> 00:19:34,641
I got to go now.
404
00:19:34,675 --> 00:19:36,610
(gasps) Oh, man,
what a dream!
405
00:19:38,045 --> 00:19:40,280
It's still Christmas.
I haven't missed it.
406
00:19:46,053 --> 00:19:47,754
Merry Christmas,
everybody!
407
00:19:49,089 --> 00:19:50,090
The freezer!
408
00:19:53,894 --> 00:19:54,962
(screaming)
409
00:19:57,831 --> 00:19:59,233
(continues screaming)
410
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:11,245
(gasps) Oh, man.
Talk about gilding the lily.
411
00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:13,146
All right,
I get it, I get it!
412
00:20:14,081 --> 00:20:15,249
No more goofy cap.
413
00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:18,285
I am awake.
And I still do have time!
414
00:20:22,556 --> 00:20:25,459
And thanks to
Inner Strength seminars,
415
00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:30,364
my horrible memories
of that so‐called holiday
are almost completely gone.
416
00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:35,302
(applause)
417
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:38,172
Thank you.
Thank you, Wanda, for that
very special testimony
418
00:20:38,205 --> 00:20:40,507
on a day
like any other day.
419
00:20:40,541 --> 00:20:42,209
‐Merry Christmas!
‐(crowd gasping)
420
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,011
‐Merry Christmas,
everybody!
‐Stop it!
421
00:20:44,044 --> 00:20:45,345
Will you stop it?
422
00:20:45,379 --> 00:20:47,381
This is a seminar
for people trying
to get over Christmas!
423
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:49,583
I used to be
just like you.
424
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:51,885
Look, give me a minute,
and let me tell you
this little story, okay.
425
00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:54,855
Look, when I was a kid,
I hated Christmas.
426
00:20:54,888 --> 00:20:56,390
You know, and my dad
was a fair man,
427
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,125
but he worked us
really hard,
428
00:20:58,158 --> 00:21:01,461
and had this strange way
of celebrating Christmas,
you know.
429
00:21:01,495 --> 00:21:02,963
Again.
430
00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:05,832
Merry Christmas
to all and to all
a good night.
431
00:21:05,866 --> 00:21:07,301
Again.
432
00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:10,137
Merry Christmas
to all and to all
a good night.
433
00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:11,672
‐Louder.
‐Shhh. No.
434
00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:14,107
I'm afraid those people
from the seminar
are gonna hear.
435
00:21:14,141 --> 00:21:17,110
Besides, Roland has to be over
at the children's hospital
in half an hour.
436
00:21:17,144 --> 00:21:20,681
Oh, yeah.
Rose, thank you for
everything you've done.
437
00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:21,815
I hope
I don't let you down.
438
00:21:21,849 --> 00:21:22,950
Oh, don't worry.
439
00:21:22,983 --> 00:21:25,452
The minute you put on
that red velvet jacket
440
00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,354
and grab your
sack of goodies,
441
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:30,224
you can't help
but bring pleasure
to people's lives.
442
00:21:30,257 --> 00:21:31,792
Merry Christmas,
everybody!
443
00:21:31,825 --> 00:21:34,695
‐Merry Christmas!
Come on in.
‐all: Merry Christmas!
444
00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:36,396
Hey, wait a minute!
What is this?
445
00:21:36,430 --> 00:21:38,498
I thought you people
hated Christmas!
446
00:21:38,532 --> 00:21:42,269
Well, we did, but Chuy told
us about this really amazing
dream that he had.
447
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:45,973
And after checking his blood
alcohol level, it really
got us thinking.
448
00:21:47,641 --> 00:21:48,675
Chuy's right.
449
00:21:48,709 --> 00:21:50,544
Christmas isn't a time
to be self‐involved,
450
00:21:50,577 --> 00:21:52,746
it's a time for sharing
your life with others.
451
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,948
Maybe if I was
a licensed therapist,
I'd have known that.
452
00:21:56,650 --> 00:22:00,487
Oh! Now, this is
what I call a real
Christmas celebration.
453
00:22:00,521 --> 00:22:03,891
Everybody talking
and sharing
and acting jolly.
454
00:22:03,924 --> 00:22:06,460
Did somebody
say jolly?
455
00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:08,395
Oh‐ho‐ho!
456
00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:10,564
Look at you!
You're so authentic!
457
00:22:10,597 --> 00:22:12,232
What do you say,
Blanche?
458
00:22:12,266 --> 00:22:14,034
Hey, those are
my boots.
459
00:22:16,270 --> 00:22:17,337
You know
what will be fun?
460
00:22:17,371 --> 00:22:18,705
Let's sing some
Christmas carols.
461
00:22:18,739 --> 00:22:21,141
Oh, I don't know
if this group is ready
for carols yet.
462
00:22:21,175 --> 00:22:22,976
Oh, come on.
Let's give it a shot.
463
00:22:23,010 --> 00:22:26,547
♪ O come
All ye faithful ♪
464
00:22:26,580 --> 00:22:29,716
♪ Joyful and triumphant
465
00:22:29,750 --> 00:22:31,785
♪ O come ye
466
00:22:31,818 --> 00:22:36,757
♪ O come ye
To Bethlehem... ♪
467
00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:37,824
Sophia,
468
00:22:37,858 --> 00:22:40,427
you're being
awful quiet
through all of this.
469
00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:42,396
Don't you have
something to say?
470
00:22:42,429 --> 00:22:44,464
Actually, I do.
471
00:22:44,498 --> 00:22:46,834
Merry Christmas,
shmistmas to all
472
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:51,705
and to all
a good night.
473
00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:56,510
♪ O come
Let us adore Him ♪
474
00:22:56,543 --> 00:23:01,715
♪ Christ the Lord
475
00:23:01,748 --> 00:23:05,385
♪ Sing, choirs of angels
476
00:23:05,419 --> 00:23:08,388
♪ Sing in exultation
477
00:23:11,091 --> 00:23:13,427
(singing "Jingle Bells")
478
00:23:23,737 --> 00:23:26,640
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way ♪
479
00:23:26,673 --> 00:23:30,077
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
On a one‐horse open sleigh ♪
480
00:23:30,110 --> 00:23:33,080
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way ♪
481
00:23:33,113 --> 00:23:38,051
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
On a one‐horse open sleigh ♪
482
00:23:38,085 --> 00:23:39,887
(all cheering)
36455
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