All language subtitles for The.Golden.Palace.S01E10.WEB.h264-WEBTUBE

♪ Ooh‐ooh‐ooh

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Travel down the road
And back again ♪

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal
And a confidante ♪

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see

♪ The biggest gift
Would be from me ♪

♪ And the card attached
Would say ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪

Oh!

I still cannot believe
that we got Bill
and Milton

to do their
live radio broadcast
from our hotel.

It's going
to give us
so much publicity.

And Lord knows
with business as slow
as it's been, we need it.

There it is.
How does it look?

Oh, it looks just fine.
Just fine.

Back to the kitchen now.

What, that's it?

No thanks,
no gratitude?

(scoffs) You get me
hot and sweaty,
work me like crazy,

and then send me away?

Man, I feel like
one of your dates.

But I guess
you'll want to run back
to the Arco station

and brag to
all your buddies.

No, good, good.
I can't wait to
see you, Mom.

Okay, yeah.
This is great.

This is terrible.

My parents are coming
to see me and I think my dad
has some bad news to tell me.

What makes
you think so?

‐Well, he called me Roly.
‐Well, so?

So the last time
he called me Roly,

he told me I'd been cut
from little league team.

How come the coach
didn't tell you?

He was the coach.

Well, what do you think
it is this time?

Taffy's dead.

‐Who's taffy?
‐Our dog.

(gasps)

Your mother and dad
would fly all the way
down here

just to tell you
your dog died?

It wasn't just
a dog, Blanche.

It was part of our family.
We had her for
over 14 years.

So, what do you think
she died of?

She was a smoker, Rose.

Old age! I just said
we had her for
over 14 years.

Sarcasm, Roly?

Maybe that's why Daddy
didn't want you
on the team.

Okay...

‐There you go.
‐Thank you.

‐Thank you, very much.
‐Thank you, very much.

‐Hi, guys.
‐Hi!

‐Uh, my name's Chuy.
‐Oh, how are you doing?

‐This is Sophia.
‐Hi, Sophia. How are you?

Nice to meet you.

You guys are
the funniest thing
I've ever heard

and I always wondered
why you're not on TV.

Although, now I know.

So you really like
our show?

Oh, absolutely.

You know, whenever me
and my ex‐wife used
to make love,

she had to have
your program on.
(chuckles)

I must have heard
you guys at least...
twice.

Hey, are you going
to do one of your
practical jokes

for incredibly
stupid people?

I just love that bit!

No, we haven't
done that in
a long time.

As a matter of fact,
the last time we did
that stunt,

uh, Milt here
had a little mishap.

Yeah, according
to Bill here,

some tranquilizers
don't work
on some alligators.

Here we go again.

We pulled him
off you, didn't we?

You tied live chickens
to my feet!

It was funny,
wasn't it?

I lost a toe!

‐We found it!
‐Well...

It's a shame
you don't do
those jokes anymore,

because I know
the perfect victim
for your show tonight.

Oh, really?
Yeah, but the stuff
we did was so outrageous.

We could do
the Penn and Teller
bit, though.

Are you sure
this person
is stupid enough

to fall for
one of our
practical jokes?

(elevator bell dings)

Oh, no! No! No!

You're going to have
to trust me
on this one.

I'll show you
where to set up.

(whooping)

Roland, the hotel
is beautiful!

Son, I'm impressed.

Well, I tried to create
an atmosphere of class
and dignity.

I hope I succeeded.

Hold that elevator,
please!

No! No! No! No!

Oh... (pants)

(chuckles)

Shouldn't you call
the owners
and tell them

there's a crazy woman
loose in the hotel?

Well, you know,
actually, that is
one of the...

I'm going to go
and make that call.

First, show us
to our rooms.

We want to get
cleaned up
before we eat.

Okay, how long
we gonna do this?

‐Do what?
‐Act like there's nothing wrong.

You guys came down here
to tell me some bad news,
what is it?

I'm sorry, Son.

We didn't want
to break this to you
over the phone.

Just go ahead, pop.
I have a feeling I know
what this is already.

Now, Roland,
promise you won't
take this too hard.

‐You're so easily upset.
‐Mom.

Look, stop treating me
like a child.

I'm a mature adult.
Just say it.

Your mother and I
have decided
to get a divorce.

You and Mommy
are going to do what?

I know this comes
as a shock to you,
honey.

But the marriage
has been over
for years

and we feel it's time
to stop pretending.

Pretending?
Are you crazy?
You two need each other.

Roland, your mother and I
have been unhappy
for at least 20 years.

Twenty years?

Yes.

You two have been unhappy
for 20 years of your life?

‐I'm afraid so.
‐So what's another 20?

‐Roly‐‐
‐No, don't Roly me.

You just blurted this out.
This is really bad news.

You didn't even
prepare me
or anything, Pop.

You didn't even say
sit down, Son.

God, I thought
you came down here
to tell me that Taffy died.

At least I was wrong
about that.

Sit down, Son.

‐(chattering)
‐Okay, we're back!

We're broadcasting
live here from
the Golden Palace hotel,

talking to one of
its owners.

The witty, vivacious,
and, might I add,

lovely Blanche Devereaux.

Blanche, say hello
to our listeners.

(purring) Hello.

Oh‐ho.

Blanche, do you mind
if we ask you a couple
of personal questions?

Not at all, Bill.

Tell us,
as a transvestite,

do you find that it's...

it's harder running
a business here
in conservative Miami?

I beg your pardon, Bill.

I am not a transvestite.

I'm sorry, transsexual!
I always get you guys
mixed up!

Boy, you know, I get
them mixed up, too, Bill.

Especially after a couple
of beers, you know.

Wait a minute.
Listen. Look here.

Uh, I am a woman,

and I was born a woman.

Oh, you mean a woman
trapped in a man's body.

Same old story, yeah.

Okay, why don't you
tell us about the operation
then, Blanche.

You know, they say sometimes
when a man has to have
his leg amputated,

he can still feel
the leg.

Yeah, they want
to wiggle their toes,
you know? Yeah.

(chuckles)

Did you, uh,
ever want to wiggle
your toe, Blanche?

Oh! I‐‐

Or do you keep
your toe in a jar?

I know mine is.

Listen!

Now my name
is Blanche Devereaux.

I'm a woman.
I've always been
a woman.

There must be
somebody out there
who's slept with me.

Oh, Rose!

How about a nice
round of applause

for our guest,
Mr. Blanche Devereaux.

Right here.

Well, thank you,
thank you.

What the hell,
attention's attention.

Well, Milt,
I see by my watch,

it's time for a little
audience participation

and we're gonna try
an old favorite called,
"Have a little faith."

‐I love it.
‐Yeah, me too.

Now, we're gonna need
a volunteer for
this game.

Anybody here
want to play?

Rose, what are you
waiting for?
Raise your hand.

I don't think so.

Why should I go up
and let them make me
look like a fool?

I mean,
what's in it for me?

As a prize, we'll be
giving away these
three magic beans.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, we have
a volunteer!

Come right over here,
sweet thing.

Tell us
what's your name?

Rose. Rose Nylund.

Hi, Rose‐Rose Nylund.
How are you?
That's catchy.

Now, in order for you
to win these beans,

you have to answer
three trivia questions.

Uh, how are you
on farm trivia?

Oh, I'm great
on farm trivia!

I used to live
on a farm.

Isn't that
a coincidence?

both: Absolutely!

Boy, this will be easy.

And I have faith
that you can do it!

Don't you, Milt?

I'd be willing
to bet my life
on it, Billy.

I'll take
that bet, Milt.

‐Okay, boys!
‐(fanfare plays)

(people exclaiming)

man: Yes, sir!

All right,
radio listeners
at home,

we have a tank of water
in front of us.

Now, Milt,

I double dare you
to stay submerged
in this tank of water

until Rose successfully
answers all three
farm trivia questions.

Whew! Boy! I don't
think I could pass up
an opportunity like that, Bill.

Wait! Wait!
How's he gonna
breathe in there?

Well, he can't.
That's the point.

We're depending on you.

We have faith in you
that you'll get him
out in time.

What's more
important than faith?

Air! Air's
more important!

You know what, Billy?
The lady may be right
on that air theory‐‐

Aw, get in there.

Okay, he's in there.
Nicely safe in there,
nicely sealed up.

Okay, now let's get
to question number one.

Before we get
to question
number one, Rose,

tell us about yourself.
Where are you from?

Rose: St. Olaf!
What does it matter?

Just ask the questions.

All right,
question number one.

What do you call
a baby goose?

Uh, gosling!

Gosling.
That's very good.

Okay, um...

Question number two.
Pay attention, dear.

Name a machine
that you‐‐

Tractor.

No, no.
Wait till I finish
the question.

It's not really fair
unless you let me
finish the question.

‐I'm sorry.
‐Okay.

Name a machine
that you find
on a farm.

‐A tractor?
‐Yes! Very good.

You're doing so well
and this is only
your first time!

Ladies and gentlemen,
isn't she terrific?

Before we get
to question three,

let's have a small
commercial break.

Oh, no!

No, ask the third question!

Bill: Oh, okay.
The third question.

Question number three...

Name 50 things
that a farmer plants.

Fifty! You want 50!

There's a thousand
of them.

You can rip them off
like that! Let's go.

‐Oh, wheat, barley.
‐Yeah. yeah.

‐Rice, cotton, corn...
‐Good. Yeah. Yes.

How many is that?

Let's me see, you said,
wheat, barley...

Oh, never mind!

Peas! Lettuce,
cauliflower, corn...

Nope!
You already said corn.

‐Did not!
‐Did, too!
Didn't she? (gibberish)

‐Yay!
‐What does it matter?

Get him out!
He's going to drown!

Well, we can't change
the rules unless I check
with my partner.

Just a minute.

Sweetie! Honey,
you want out?

He loves it in there.
He's like a fish.

‐Go on, come on!
‐Oh, my god!

Uh, parsnips!
Turnips!

Uh, yams!

‐Sugar beets.
‐Good.

‐Uh, watercress.
‐Yeah.

‐Hominy.
‐Yeah.

‐Marijuana.
‐Oh...

Oh, my god!

It may be illegal,
but it's a cash crop.

Bill: No, no, Milton!

Oh! Oh! Somebody call
an ambulance! Quick!

No, wait. I'm a doctor.
Maybe I can help.

Oh! Please, anything!

This man is dead.

‐Bill: Oh, no.
‐(gasps)

And I have
a very strong
hunch he drowned.

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Goodbye, funny face.

(sobs) You killed
my partner!

Milton is dead!
Did you hear that,
Miami?

Rose Nylund
killed my partner.

(crying)

And now listen
to Rick James
singing Superfreak.

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry!

I didn't mean
to kill him.

I'm a bad girl!

I'm a bad,
stupid girl!

Sophia, this prank
on Rose has gone
too far.

Ah, don't be a baby.

This is horrible.
How can you do this?

Rose is the sweetest
woman in the world.

While you're standing
out here laughing,

she's probably
sitting in the lobby
crying her eyes out.

I see what
you're saying.

I should be in there,
watching that.

Sophia, I know why
you did this to Rose.

You did it because
you're jealous of her.

And you're jealous of her
because you're a mean,
old woman.

Ooh, gee.

When did they start
teaching psychology
at Hamburger U?

Sophia, I'm serious.
You've got to
tell her the truth.

Oh, come on.
It's her own fault.

Even a chimpanzee
would know it was
a practical joke.

Sophia, I think
we all agree that the chimp
has a leg up on Rose.

But that's not what
we're talking about here.

Oh, hi, Rose.
What have you got?

A moth. I found it
in my room.

I want to be sure
it gets outside safely.

From now on,
I'm dedicating myself
to preserving life.

Fly, little moth.

Be free and live!

(zap)

Did I mention
we got a great deal
on a bug zapper? (chuckles)

(crying) Excuse me!

Well, she's two for two.

All right, that's it.
Either you tell her,
or I'll tell her.

Okay, okay,
I thought this kind
of practical joke

would make me laugh,
but it hasn't.

It's affected me in ways
I didn't think possible.

Yeah, it's made you
feel ashamed, hasn't it?

No, it excited me
sexually.

Sophia!

I'm as shocked
as you are.

Roland, I think I could
really help your parents.

My husband, George,
and I spent some time
in marriage counseling.

I really learned a lot.

I learned how to be
detached and objective.

See, you're too
emotionally involved
to be of any real help.

‐You know what I think?
‐I don't care what you think.

Now look, if my parents
don't realize that
they belong together,

then I'm gonna show them.

And Blanche,
I don't need
your help.

Well, oh...

So, until I find
a place of my own,

‐I'll move in with Roland.
‐Whatever.

Blanche,
I need your help!

Hey, guys,
Blanche wants
to talk to you a second.

Hello, again.

I want you to realize
I have considerable experience

in mediating
problems like yours.

Well, that's very kind of you,
but this is rather
a personal matter.

Personal matters
are my specialty.

Now, Louise...

Um, what was
your first indication

that there might be
a problem
in the marriage?

Well, if you must know,
it began in the bedroom.

Ho‐hold! (chuckles)

No, no, no.

I don't want
to hear them
talk about this.

Well, fine,
go in the other room.

What was it, honey?

Too little,
too much?

I'm not afraid
of details.

Maybe if you'd been
more passionate,

I wouldn't have had guys over
to watch sports all the time.

How could I be passionate
in a room of men?

‐Actually‐‐
‐Blanche!

What?

Look, this is crazy.
This is not going
to work.

Roland, will you please
give this a chance.

All these people need
is a third party who's
not personally involved.

Now. George,
Louise,

you know, a marriage
doesn't break up
over just one issue.

Now there must have been
other conflicts.

Of course.
Louise lost all of
our life savings gambling.

What?

Wait a minute.
Nobody ever
told me that.

Mom, I had no idea
you knew how
to gamble.

Well, apparently,
she doesn't.

(laughs)

You know, my husband and I
used to play the horses.

Well, I wouldn't gamble
if you would stay home
on the weekends.

Why? So I can listen to you
nag about how I don't make
enough money?

We loved all those little
riding crops and saddles...

Better a nagging woman
than a man who can't
control his tears.

Even men have
a change of life,
Louise.

Of course,
we never actually
made it to the track.

He was a lusty man.

Lusty, zesty man.

Lusty, zesty cowboy
who liked to ride
all night!

Blanche!

Will you stop talking
about yourself?

My god. My parents
have problems,

they have very
serious problems.

Honey, that's what
we've been trying
to tell you.

This hasn't been easy
for us, either, son.

But it's time
we got on
with our lives,

and you, too.

Well, I guess it's time
I accepted this.

I mean, I'm not
going to like it,

but if a divorce is
what you guys want,

then I'm not going
to stand in your way.

Thank you, baby.

‐You're welcome.
‐Not you.

I'm sorry
I overreacted
to this whole thing.

It was such a shock.

Well, at least you guys
aren't marrying
other people.

I mean, at least
I'm not gonna have to
get used to new step‐parents.

That would be difficult.

(chuckles)

George and Louise:
Sit down, Son.

Go on, Sophia.
Go on, tell her
right now.

Rose, I have something
to tell you,

and it's very
difficult for me.

Oh, no,
more bad news?

Don't tell me,
the magic beans
weren't really magic?

Come on,
she's so easy.

Tell her now,
old woman.

All right,
all right.

There's something
I haven't been totally
honest with you about.

(gurgling) Wose!
Oh, Wose!

What was that?

(screams) It's him!

It's Milton!

Why are you
doing this?

Why are you
tormenting me?

In life, you were
my murderer!

In death...

I'm yours.

(screams)

(laughs) Stop it!

Now you're killing me!

Wait a minute.
I got a big finish.

Come on, Wose!

It's time to come
with me, Wose!

(gunshots)

Oh, no.

Rose, what have you done?

It's over.

I sent him back to hell,
where he belongs.

You killed him,
you really killed him?

Yes.

Why?

Oh, sweet Mary,
mother of God.
This is horrible.

I've got to hide.

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

You killed a man!

I killed a ghost.

You killed
a man, you idiot.

I don't understand.

It was a joke.

I was pulling
a joke on you.

Milton's wasn't really dead.
It was all just a big joke.

Sophia!

You took the words
right out of my mouth.

(chuckles)

And so ends another
practical joke

on an incredibly
stupid person.

(laughing)

Did you have
a good time, ma'am?

Oh, I sure did!

How about you, sir?

I am a woman,
damn it.

Prove it.

Well, fine. How about
starting off with dinner?

‐Fine, I'm right behind you.
‐Uh‐huh.

I can't believe how
this transvestite bit
works every time.

I can't believe
how this dinner

and I'll prove it to you
bit works every time.

I don't believe this.

Rose, you knew?

The whole time.
We all did.

When you went
to Milton and Bill,
they came to me.

They felt anybody
as vindictive as you

deserved a practical joke.

(chuckles)

So, who's the incredibly
stupid one, now?

So you had this
all planned,

even down to the moth
and the bug zapper?

No, that was
an unfortunate accident.

I hope
you're all satisfied.

This was a terrible thing
to do an old lady.

(all laughing)

It's not funny.

You really had me scared.

You really had‐‐

(groans)

(all laughing)

Sophia: Well,
they didn't buy
the heart attack.

But the joke's on them.

I think I broke my hip.

He won't get out
of the tank.

I have 40 pounds
of weight on me
and a sweater.

(chuckles)

Bill: Yeah.
Get out of the tank.

(chuckles) Okay.

(grunts)

(cheers and applause)