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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:54,301 --> 00:00:56,921 Hello, good evening! Good morning, Mrs... 2 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,191 Duchess of Earl Margherita Semenzara! 3 00:00:59,511 --> 00:01:03,231 How did I know it was you? No, I did not know, you swore it was you... 4 00:01:03,491 --> 00:01:06,031 I recognized your noble voice. 5 00:01:06,121 --> 00:01:09,361 Do you want to talk to your Noble Lord Husband? 6 00:01:09,731 --> 00:01:13,851 He is in a session since yesterday evening in the Grand Council of the 10 absenthees. 7 00:01:14,021 --> 00:01:16,661 I have clear instructions not to interrupt them, 8 00:01:17,081 --> 00:01:19,651 But if you insist, Ah, you do not insist, you... 9 00:01:19,752 --> 00:01:21,354 ...command it. 10 00:01:21,511 --> 00:01:24,271 Then, just a moment, I'll put you in touch with the council. 11 00:01:24,711 --> 00:01:25,761 Just a moment... 12 00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:28,211 Hello, Council of the 10 absenthees. 13 00:01:28,431 --> 00:01:31,791 It's for our Count Semenzara, from his wife Lady Duchess... Duchess Conde... 14 00:01:31,972 --> 00:01:33,491 Wait - Wait a moment. 15 00:01:33,592 --> 00:01:36,313 Just a moment My Lady, Here is your husband. 16 00:01:40,241 --> 00:01:45,691 Ciao, I'm here, my jealous one! Did you think I was out partying with hookers? 17 00:01:46,241 --> 00:01:49,400 Semenzara does not do stupid things. Semenzara works even at night... 18 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,236 to keep you and the family well. 19 00:01:51,391 --> 00:01:53,161 He is not scared of your controls. 20 00:01:53,211 --> 00:01:55,741 But now please,I need to go, must partecipate to a vote. 21 00:01:55,742 --> 00:01:56,844 Ciao, ciao... 22 00:01:59,242 --> 00:02:00,091 What did you say? 23 00:02:00,131 --> 00:02:04,511 Nothing, he spoke a bit faster because he needs to go voting. 24 00:02:05,401 --> 00:02:08,561 He said to sleep peacefully... 25 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:13,831 That's good. Good night, good day, good bye Lady Duchess Cond... 26 00:02:36,933 --> 00:02:43,851 Who's here!? - Fantozzi Ugo, accountant, Registration 7829/bis. Doing overtime. 27 00:02:43,886 --> 00:02:45,521 You could have warned me!? 28 00:02:46,293 --> 00:02:50,431 Sorry Mr. Nightguard, if I have frightened you. 29 00:02:57,793 --> 00:03:01,971 Thank you, good morning. Good night. Mr. Nightguard, see you soon. 30 00:03:17,161 --> 00:03:18,391 Good morning, miss... 31 00:03:25,541 --> 00:03:29,341 No! Your colleague has already shot me upstairs! 32 00:03:29,651 --> 00:03:34,311 I promise, next time I'll do it with you. Good year, good bye! 33 00:03:46,671 --> 00:03:49,281 - We are waiting for you. - We are waiting for you. 34 00:03:51,928 --> 00:03:53,626 WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU 35 00:04:41,851 --> 00:04:43,181 Let me through! 36 00:04:45,409 --> 00:04:47,939 Please! They expect me home! 37 00:04:50,353 --> 00:04:52,272 On the chassis... The crystals, no! 38 00:04:52,273 --> 00:04:55,297 - Take this! - You miserable scoundrel! 39 00:04:55,298 --> 00:04:58,074 ...You think you own the road? 40 00:05:32,811 --> 00:05:37,344 How often should I say, I should... should... 41 00:05:37,745 --> 00:05:41,949 Go home because I've just finished to work!!! 42 00:06:30,921 --> 00:06:33,441 Here, accountant, Extremely urgent. 43 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:36,457 Surveyor??. F 7. 44 00:06:36,882 --> 00:06:38,676 Damn, in the first turn!. 45 00:06:38,767 --> 00:06:41,151 - I stroke a cruiser. - Well!. 46 00:06:41,991 --> 00:06:44,471 - I'd start with n. 27 this morning - Good, and you? 47 00:06:45,041 --> 00:06:47,011 The series of 5 to 8, per 100,000 liras. 48 00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:48,401 Let's get on with it. 49 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:56,699 For the selection of the employee that should accompany 50 00:06:56,700 --> 00:07:02,117 Our Mega Director Clamoroso Duke Conde Pier Carlo Ingeniero Semenzara... 51 00:07:02,271 --> 00:07:07,121 to play in Monte Carlo, there was a terrible draw... 52 00:07:07,171 --> 00:07:10,551 For which there was also the partecipation of the internal committee. 53 00:07:11,551 --> 00:07:16,761 The organizer of the ceremony, was the accountant Filini, of the Claims Office. 54 00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:19,351 Attention! 55 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,771 - Let's proceed! - S�, your Excellence. 56 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:30,111 Miss Silvani! 57 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,170 Pardon me! 58 00:07:32,381 --> 00:07:34,471 Ms Silvani of Calboni! 59 00:07:34,801 --> 00:07:36,306 - Me? - S�. 60 00:07:36,341 --> 00:07:40,335 chosen to withdraw from the urn name chosen, Ms. Calboni... 61 00:07:40,336 --> 00:07:42,184 ex Miss Silvani. 62 00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:44,761 And ex great desperate love of Fantozzi. 63 00:07:44,941 --> 00:07:49,831 ...since she married, he dared not touch her even with his thoughts. 64 00:07:49,866 --> 00:07:52,781 - Excuse me if I turn my back ... - I blindfold... 65 00:07:53,031 --> 00:07:55,323 - Sorry. - Easy. 66 00:07:57,381 --> 00:07:58,561 - Do you see anything? - No! 67 00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:03,551 The occasion was thruly horrendous... 68 00:08:03,591 --> 00:08:06,911 3 days in Monte Carlo, to see Semenzara play. 69 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:10,511 And if he suspected that his companion brought him good luck... 70 00:08:10,611 --> 00:08:12,601 Then your life would be settled... 71 00:08:16,292 --> 00:08:17,882 Sweet heart of Jesus,... 72 00:08:23,541 --> 00:08:24,514 Be quiet! 73 00:08:25,196 --> 00:08:26,220 Who's praying? 74 00:08:30,682 --> 00:08:31,532 Thanks. 75 00:08:45,071 --> 00:08:48,781 Registration 7829/bis. 76 00:08:53,891 --> 00:08:58,501 Fantozzi remained in a state of apparent death, for more than four hours. 77 00:08:59,101 --> 00:09:02,731 - Congratulations Fantozzi! - Well done, fatty! 78 00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:04,596 To Fantozzi! 79 00:09:04,661 --> 00:09:08,477 Hip, hip, hip, hurra! Hip, hip, hip, hurra! 80 00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:12,071 Again congratulations! 81 00:09:12,181 --> 00:09:15,107 Thank you, please drink. Drink to my health... 82 00:09:15,108 --> 00:09:16,602 At least say thanks to me. 83 00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:17,614 For what? 84 00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:21,311 It was my wife's doing. 85 00:09:21,381 --> 00:09:24,201 Let's say I have been your fortune goddess, Fantozzi. 86 00:09:24,721 --> 00:09:27,852 I must thank you. Would you like a drink? 87 00:09:27,891 --> 00:09:32,629 No thanks. But do me a favour. Come. 88 00:09:32,982 --> 00:09:34,163 S�, where? 89 00:09:35,381 --> 00:09:37,180 Such luck! It's disgusting! 90 00:09:37,215 --> 00:09:39,315 - He's been kissed by luck... - I hate him! 91 00:09:40,151 --> 00:09:42,913 Here, take these! 92 00:09:43,111 --> 00:09:44,781 Do you want me to exchange them? 93 00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:48,691 No, Fantozzi. You must play them at the roulette. 94 00:09:49,791 --> 00:09:50,711 For me. 95 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:55,121 But, is your husband ok with this? Does he know? 96 00:09:55,211 --> 00:09:57,951 But we are a modern couple, We are open minded. 97 00:09:59,371 --> 00:10:00,741 Play it on the 27, Fantozzi. 98 00:10:01,411 --> 00:10:02,751 S�. 99 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,341 ...When you feel it's the right moment. 100 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:09,471 27, it's my age. 101 00:10:12,131 --> 00:10:17,063 Oh, to think I would have played at the most the 14... Or even 4. 102 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:19,941 Goodbye Pina! Ciao Mari�ngela! 103 00:10:20,101 --> 00:10:22,391 Ah, here is the tra... tra... train... 104 00:10:23,421 --> 00:10:29,731 Well, we have to admit, we are slightly early. 105 00:10:29,891 --> 00:10:32,921 the train to Montecarlo departed at 23:37. 106 00:10:33,281 --> 00:10:36,601 Fantozzi arrived at the station at 4:12 in the afternoon. 107 00:10:36,841 --> 00:10:38,271 7 hours earlier! 108 00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:40,211 With him, Ms. Pina, and Mariangela. 109 00:10:40,601 --> 00:10:42,831 To see his triumphal departure. 110 00:10:45,861 --> 00:10:47,961 There he is! The Duke Conde! 111 00:10:49,026 --> 00:10:50,746 Good morning, Master! 112 00:10:50,821 --> 00:10:53,721 Make way for the Duke Conde! 113 00:10:55,051 --> 00:10:56,801 Make way for Conde Semenzara! 114 00:10:57,411 --> 00:11:01,431 Sir Duke Conde, if you allow me the honour of introducing you my...! 115 00:11:02,591 --> 00:11:05,841 Who are those loosers? Who do you want to introduce me to!? 116 00:11:06,351 --> 00:11:09,358 Nobody. I wanted to present my apologies for 117 00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:12,321 having slighly touched you with my elbow... 118 00:11:12,651 --> 00:11:14,501 So you do not have any relation with those witches? 119 00:11:15,071 --> 00:11:17,921 No, never seen them in my life, don't know them at all! 120 00:11:18,431 --> 00:11:20,481 - Then don't look at them! - No, I don't! 121 00:11:20,482 --> 00:11:22,313 - And touch yourself, by Judas! - Yes, I touch myself! 122 00:11:23,941 --> 00:11:25,621 I hope they will not get on our train. 123 00:11:25,821 --> 00:11:27,231 No, I don't think so... 124 00:11:31,771 --> 00:11:34,151 I believe they are going away, 125 00:11:34,906 --> 00:11:36,408 yes, they are going away. 126 00:11:38,251 --> 00:11:40,281 Gone now. 127 00:11:40,881 --> 00:11:43,142 - That's better! - That's better! 128 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:46,511 Pardon me, I just take my suitcase, 129 00:11:47,391 --> 00:11:49,991 Even a purple suitcase, that brings bad luck! 130 00:11:52,221 --> 00:11:54,411 By the way, You have no luggage? 131 00:11:55,071 --> 00:11:57,321 No, no luggage. 132 00:11:58,271 --> 00:11:59,471 Not even a briefcase? 133 00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:03,021 ...I have a nice one back home, 134 00:12:03,441 --> 00:12:05,471 but I do not bring it to the station, 135 00:12:06,191 --> 00:12:07,351 because... they'd steal it... 136 00:12:07,911 --> 00:12:11,771 But i have everything on me: 5 shirts, 12 pairs of pants... 137 00:12:11,806 --> 00:12:12,921 and 16 pairs of socks. 138 00:12:14,531 --> 00:12:15,191 There's the train! 139 00:12:15,361 --> 00:12:16,841 Let me, Duke Conde! 140 00:12:18,481 --> 00:12:19,991 Stay still! Just a moment! 141 00:12:21,231 --> 00:12:23,871 - What's the meaning of this? - quiet with those hands! 142 00:12:25,301 --> 00:12:26,601 The Duke Conde is mine! 143 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,031 All taken! 144 00:12:30,021 --> 00:12:32,441 Taken, taken taken... 145 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:36,021 It's all busy!. I took the whole compartment! 146 00:12:36,531 --> 00:12:38,951 But... young man, Have you ever booked a sleeping cabin? 147 00:12:42,991 --> 00:12:45,041 No sorry... 148 00:12:45,521 --> 00:12:47,751 These are booked. I booked cabin n.18. 149 00:12:47,961 --> 00:12:49,211 18? 150 00:12:50,431 --> 00:12:51,761 Sir Count... 151 00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:54,511 Come then, Count. N. 18? 152 00:12:54,771 --> 00:12:56,401 Come, I'm at your service... 153 00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:58,111 Let's clean it... 154 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,051 What the hell are you doing? 155 00:13:00,601 --> 00:13:03,171 Here, I think, it's your... 156 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:04,481 ...bid�. 157 00:13:05,111 --> 00:13:05,841 What? 158 00:13:05,931 --> 00:13:06,931 What is this? 159 00:13:10,711 --> 00:13:12,312 - Ddi you get hurt? - It's nothing... 160 00:13:12,371 --> 00:13:14,931 Only lost functionality of the first two phalanges. 161 00:13:15,111 --> 00:13:18,681 Pinkie and ring finger. Sorry, I'll just get my hand back. 162 00:13:20,781 --> 00:13:27,211 Oh, here is also your glass, to drink during the night... 163 00:13:29,371 --> 00:13:32,881 Oh, of course. This is for your noble needs. 164 00:13:33,241 --> 00:13:35,131 Can I Undress you, Conde Duque Lord? 165 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,201 No, no, no! Go to your cabin. 166 00:13:37,271 --> 00:13:40,281 I don't have a cabin... To avoid being a weight on the company, 167 00:13:40,751 --> 00:13:41,541 I took a 2nd class ticket... 168 00:13:41,941 --> 00:13:43,941 As you know, 3rd class has been abolished. 169 00:13:44,376 --> 00:13:46,441 If it's allowed, I'd prefer to sleep on the floor... 170 00:13:46,471 --> 00:13:47,721 Curled up next to your bed... 171 00:13:47,722 --> 00:13:49,441 Not allowed, not allowed! 172 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,631 Well, then if you consent it, I will retire to my compartment. 173 00:13:56,051 --> 00:13:59,401 Clear. - Go to 2a. you'll see, it will be very comfortable. 174 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:00,405 Good night. 175 00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:10,111 Tickets please... 176 00:14:16,211 --> 00:14:18,081 I hope you're in good shape, young man. 177 00:14:18,181 --> 00:14:20,811 Cause I've been awake all night in that bloody bed. 178 00:14:20,837 --> 00:14:23,881 - I was right above the wheels! - Oh, I was rather comfy. 179 00:14:23,921 --> 00:14:25,371 - Good evening. - Good evening dear. 180 00:14:25,721 --> 00:14:29,311 The Duke, like all people possessed by the demon of game... 181 00:14:29,351 --> 00:14:33,121 was very superstitious and used extravagant rituals. 182 00:14:33,171 --> 00:14:35,791 Do, re, mi, Good Luck comes here. 183 00:14:35,851 --> 00:14:38,711 Re, mi, fa, Good luck comes this side. 184 00:14:38,781 --> 00:14:41,401 Si, do, re, Good luck does not go there. 185 00:14:44,781 --> 00:14:45,791 Pardon me... 186 00:14:46,631 --> 00:14:47,801 Chips! 187 00:14:52,201 --> 00:14:55,561 One moment, not a bet... 188 00:14:58,691 --> 00:14:59,961 Here you go, Duke!. Mr Conde Duke. 189 00:15:01,591 --> 00:15:02,631 Sit down. 190 00:15:05,491 --> 00:15:09,291 Sorry, Mr Conde Duke, Actually I have no chair. 191 00:15:09,591 --> 00:15:11,301 - Sit anyway! - Anyway... 192 00:15:12,901 --> 00:15:14,151 Done. 193 00:15:14,311 --> 00:15:15,491 And touch my ass! 194 00:15:16,491 --> 00:15:18,671 But, How do I do that...? 195 00:15:18,821 --> 00:15:21,152 Put your hand under! Just do it! 196 00:15:46,974 --> 00:15:48,427 Nine! 197 00:15:49,351 --> 00:15:50,391 What's happening? 198 00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:52,761 My foot was under yours, Sir Duke Conde. 199 00:15:52,931 --> 00:15:55,801 Put back immediatly your foot under mine. Do not interrupt the fluid. 200 00:15:56,131 --> 00:15:57,961 everything must stay as when I won. 201 00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,931 - And keep it on with my ass. - I keep on... 202 00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,781 - ...touching your ass... - A million? 203 00:16:02,471 --> 00:16:03,511 A million. 204 00:16:13,258 --> 00:16:15,059 Eight! 205 00:16:17,951 --> 00:16:20,721 A horrible sufference, but short... 206 00:16:20,831 --> 00:16:24,121 Because in the span of two hands, Semenzara lost everything ...... 207 00:16:24,181 --> 00:16:27,010 and went under of 22 kilos of chips. 208 00:16:34,131 --> 00:16:35,991 And stop touching my ass!! 209 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:51,286 But, at about 3 am, the Conde Duke had a stroke of luck 210 00:16:51,287 --> 00:16:53,562 ...and won a clamorous prize. 211 00:16:56,267 --> 00:16:57,811 What were you doing just then? 212 00:16:58,481 --> 00:17:01,071 Me? I allowed myself to drink few drops of mineral sparkling water. 213 00:17:01,591 --> 00:17:03,961 Bravo, bravo! Keep doing that! 214 00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:08,241 Valet, bring immediately 25 bottles of mineral water, 215 00:17:08,242 --> 00:17:09,244 ...Of the same brand! 216 00:17:09,391 --> 00:17:11,921 It was the terrible "Acqua Berthier", 217 00:17:11,991 --> 00:17:14,021 The gassiest on the planet... 218 00:17:15,441 --> 00:17:16,681 Nine! 219 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,681 Drink, drink! 220 00:17:20,251 --> 00:17:21,071 Sorry... 221 00:17:31,591 --> 00:17:36,771 - What is your rank in the company?. - Me? Twelfth. The lowest. 222 00:17:37,051 --> 00:17:38,661 I upgrade you at the 11�. 223 00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:42,951 ...With my own personal desk, and fake leather chair? 224 00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,871 S�, s�. But keep drinking! 225 00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:50,641 In 2 hours Fantozzi drunk 4 boxes of "Berthier"... 226 00:17:50,871 --> 00:17:53,541 Equivalent to 3 cubic meters of compressed gas. 227 00:17:54,111 --> 00:17:57,121 Therefore it had to be anchored like a balloon.. 228 00:18:07,511 --> 00:18:08,961 No, no. Give me back the chair. 229 00:18:10,041 --> 00:18:12,541 - Give me the chair. - Quiet, quiet. 230 00:18:14,721 --> 00:18:16,871 It may fall on someone's head. 231 00:18:17,991 --> 00:18:19,791 This is the casino's chair. Go now. 232 00:18:20,871 --> 00:18:22,838 On the bright side, during those 2 hours... 233 00:18:22,839 --> 00:18:26,273 He climbed with mad speed all the Company's hierarchical steps. 234 00:18:26,341 --> 00:18:27,691 even 3 by 3... 235 00:18:28,181 --> 00:18:29,466 Employee of 7th rank: 236 00:18:29,601 --> 00:18:32,381 mahogany desk, and artificial leather armchair, 237 00:18:32,841 --> 00:18:35,366 phone, ficus plant, symbol of power. 238 00:18:35,461 --> 00:18:39,332 Fifth rank: opaline lamp, flat glass,, 239 00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:42,680 Painting "naif" from Yugoslavia on the wall, 2 ficus. 240 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,151 First rank: 241 00:18:44,401 --> 00:18:47,702 4 ficus, 3 phones, dictaphone, 242 00:18:47,703 --> 00:18:50,732 six "naif" paintings, rug on the floor. 243 00:18:50,751 --> 00:18:53,241 He had come to the threshold of leadership 244 00:18:53,351 --> 00:18:55,941 ie greenhouse of ficus, 245 00:18:56,211 --> 00:18:58,151 and armchair in human skin, 246 00:18:58,401 --> 00:19:02,581 when fortune turned away ruinously from Semenzara 247 00:19:25,061 --> 00:19:27,151 You ruined me, idiot! 248 00:19:27,321 --> 00:19:28,981 Retire! Vanish. 249 00:19:29,151 --> 00:19:32,901 Idiot, king of the idiots! 250 00:20:00,051 --> 00:20:00,996 Hei, hei, hei! Drop that ashtray! 251 00:20:01,031 --> 00:20:03,841 It belongs to the Casino! where are you going, give it back! 252 00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:30,461 Forgive me... 253 00:20:38,923 --> 00:20:41,959 "play them at Roulette when inspiration will come " 254 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,844 "Twenty-seven, as my age." 255 00:20:46,031 --> 00:20:49,381 "Dad, did you get me a gift this time?" 256 00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:56,831 No more! - Wait, I bet here! I put 20,000 to 27! 257 00:21:15,528 --> 00:21:17,417 27, red and odd! 258 00:21:17,418 --> 00:21:19,329 Here, it's me! 259 00:21:20,330 --> 00:21:21,381 - Sorry ... - To whom does this belong? 260 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:23,141 It's mine. 261 00:21:26,521 --> 00:21:27,281 Yes of course. 262 00:21:27,561 --> 00:21:32,061 Of course it belongs to the Duke Conde. 263 00:21:32,091 --> 00:21:36,611 I would never dare to play, even less, to win. 264 00:21:38,461 --> 00:21:41,731 Excuse me, How much is the winning? 265 00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,961 - 700 thousand liras. - Ah, good! 266 00:21:46,808 --> 00:21:48,702 With that blood money 267 00:21:48,703 --> 00:21:51,700 Semenzara paid the bill of his suite at the Grand Hotel. 268 00:21:51,906 --> 00:21:56,056 With the remaining amount, 2 whores, and a bed cabin for the way back on the train. 269 00:21:56,857 --> 00:22:00,167 Fantozzi instead, had to find a different solution with his own means. 270 00:22:08,371 --> 00:22:10,461 Ughino, Look how you've become. 271 00:22:10,771 --> 00:22:12,451 All stuck... 272 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,821 Can't even speak... 273 00:22:17,841 --> 00:22:20,971 Now I will heal you with grandma's flaxseeds... 274 00:22:23,581 --> 00:22:26,351 - Are you happy? - No, no! - I'll go to the kitchen and back... 275 00:22:32,531 --> 00:22:34,321 Here is a lukewarm one. 276 00:22:34,411 --> 00:22:37,081 Then I'll bring you another hotter. 277 00:22:39,171 --> 00:22:43,171 At that temperature, Fantozzi always fell in a mystical ecstasy... 278 00:22:59,531 --> 00:23:05,611 This time he saw the archangel Gabriel which announced his upcoming motherhood. 279 00:23:26,701 --> 00:23:28,441 Opening of the hunting season. 280 00:23:29,231 --> 00:23:31,351 This year, again dragged by the implacable Filini ... 281 00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:34,131 always possessed by ideas of new and tragic initiatives... 282 00:23:34,232 --> 00:23:35,234 Fantozzi also 283 00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:36,621 decided to partecipate 284 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,961 Filini's equipment: 285 00:23:38,971 --> 00:23:42,140 Sherlock Holmes hat, with Robin Hood style feather, 286 00:23:42,641 --> 00:23:47,231 An Argentine poncho that belonged to a rich aunt, tennis shoes with galoshes over 287 00:23:47,371 --> 00:23:48,411 Topografic maps... 288 00:23:48,431 --> 00:23:50,711 And a Calabrian bandit's trombone. 289 00:23:51,261 --> 00:23:52,361 Fantozzi: 290 00:23:52,801 --> 00:23:55,777 white hat, sailor style, of his daughter Mari�ngela ... 291 00:23:55,800 --> 00:24:00,080 Painfully normal jacket, tight at the waist by a gigantic cartridge belt, 292 00:24:00,081 --> 00:24:03,160 ...machine gun, a 2nd World War residue, 293 00:24:03,161 --> 00:24:06,831 sling, viper bite serum, 294 00:24:06,832 --> 00:24:10,731 canary in a cage, and hunting stray cat... 295 00:24:10,732 --> 00:24:13,311 who immediately fled at the beginning of the operation... 296 00:24:14,501 --> 00:24:15,541 How wonderful!! 297 00:24:17,041 --> 00:24:18,491 This is a paradise on Earth! 298 00:24:19,201 --> 00:24:19,971 Breath! 299 00:24:20,741 --> 00:24:21,831 Too bad, mr. Accountant! 300 00:24:22,171 --> 00:24:22,981 What? 301 00:24:23,041 --> 00:24:25,481 That you could not bring your Albertuccia. 302 00:24:25,561 --> 00:24:26,196 ...Albertuccia? 303 00:24:26,231 --> 00:24:28,481 I mean, Albertina, the baboon! 304 00:24:28,581 --> 00:24:30,071 Your daughter... 305 00:24:30,341 --> 00:24:33,500 - Ah, Mariangela! - Of Course. 306 00:24:33,501 --> 00:24:34,641 She surely would have had fun... 307 00:24:34,642 --> 00:24:36,001 Jumping from tree to tree. 308 00:24:36,321 --> 00:24:37,256 What do you mean, from tree to tree? 309 00:24:37,291 --> 00:24:38,751 No, I meant, from meadow to meadow! 310 00:24:38,761 --> 00:24:40,671 But here we are really out of the world, Where are we? 311 00:24:40,841 --> 00:24:43,467 We are exactly in this place, Can you see it? 312 00:24:43,668 --> 00:24:46,301 - Your feather... - Do you see it? 313 00:24:46,691 --> 00:24:50,191 Actually I do not see anything, Your feather is piercing my eye... 314 00:24:50,371 --> 00:24:52,301 here is a famous hill, 315 00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:55,841 practically no man has even been there. 316 00:24:55,861 --> 00:24:58,181 It is a place that nobody knows! 317 00:25:31,221 --> 00:25:33,681 It's mine! Whatever it is, is mine. 318 00:25:36,481 --> 00:25:39,801 It was Margheriti, knight of the Instituto Case Popolari. 319 00:25:40,161 --> 00:25:43,411 Ex regional champion of bird whistling imitation. 320 00:25:43,571 --> 00:25:44,971 It's mine, I said! 321 00:25:49,231 --> 00:25:51,931 After 6 minutes, Industrial consultant Carletti... 322 00:25:51,941 --> 00:25:55,261 Called "the hare" because of a congenital malformation to the upper lip... 323 00:25:55,691 --> 00:25:59,751 felt unconfortably observed... 324 00:26:00,552 --> 00:26:03,054 - There! - Let's get him! 325 00:26:08,891 --> 00:26:12,481 But you... You're not a man! You are a hyena! 326 00:26:13,661 --> 00:26:15,981 Yes, that's right, He is a hyena! 327 00:26:16,881 --> 00:26:18,551 And a very good specimen! 328 00:26:31,441 --> 00:26:35,031 Let's not get confused! Let's split in groups. 329 00:26:35,151 --> 00:26:37,881 Now, married guys to the hill, and singles to the valley. 330 00:26:38,251 --> 00:26:40,211 Yeah! Let's go! 331 00:26:43,331 --> 00:26:44,471 Is there a photographer?? 332 00:26:56,931 --> 00:26:58,151 Watch those hands!! 333 00:26:58,651 --> 00:27:00,451 Sorry, but the shotgun is mine! Where is your slingshot? 334 00:27:01,061 --> 00:27:02,031 Didn't you bring your slingshot? 335 00:27:02,131 --> 00:27:05,541 But you still did not shoot, we are the only ones who did not yet shoot today. 336 00:27:06,011 --> 00:27:07,131 What happened? 337 00:27:07,866 --> 00:27:08,941 What happened? 338 00:27:08,951 --> 00:27:10,046 Good morning, sir. 339 00:27:10,081 --> 00:27:12,700 It's that, we can't, eh... shoot. 340 00:27:13,101 --> 00:27:13,900 Let me see... 341 00:27:13,961 --> 00:27:15,021 - Do you know about it? - Some. 342 00:27:15,122 --> 00:27:18,606 - Let's see what's the problem. - But of course, it's not loaded! 343 00:27:22,431 --> 00:27:26,861 Look, Accountant, have you, by any chance, touched the trigger? 344 00:27:27,101 --> 00:27:28,321 I can't remember... 345 00:27:28,431 --> 00:27:32,241 Sorry, do you mind if I leave this here and I take yours instead? 346 00:27:33,531 --> 00:27:35,231 Well, see you soon and good hunting. 347 00:27:35,931 --> 00:27:38,011 See you. And watch out, huh. 348 00:27:38,681 --> 00:27:42,601 The ones with money came with armored vehicles, complete with personal guards. 349 00:27:43,961 --> 00:27:45,961 Bravo! Good shot Marquis! 350 00:27:52,031 --> 00:27:55,061 A megalomaniac rented a bomber! 351 00:28:07,761 --> 00:28:12,170 For a perfect slingshot strike, aim, 352 00:28:12,171 --> 00:28:15,950 keep the target in the middle of the fork, 353 00:28:15,951 --> 00:28:19,679 pull the elastic with strenght, until it comes to your ear, 354 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,651 then let go... 355 00:28:31,761 --> 00:28:36,151 The poorest ones, counterattacked with the not less effective strategies of guerrilla. 356 00:28:45,881 --> 00:28:48,431 Help me! Help me, please! 357 00:28:52,311 --> 00:28:54,141 Attack! 358 00:28:58,751 --> 00:29:02,571 I now got hold of a good gun myself, Did you see? 359 00:29:02,961 --> 00:29:04,221 Look how nice! 360 00:29:04,821 --> 00:29:09,081 Enough slingshot! Now I can also shoot! 361 00:29:13,241 --> 00:29:14,921 Accountant, are you hurt? 362 00:29:15,851 --> 00:29:19,221 Absolutely... Only very ... ever so slightly ... 363 00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,171 I think I need a urologist... 364 00:29:26,801 --> 00:29:31,371 Look, for 2 left ears I can give you the index of the right hand... 365 00:29:32,191 --> 00:29:33,931 - ...Of a lawyer. - With nail? 366 00:29:34,001 --> 00:29:37,881 - Yes, it's complete. Look how nice. - two ears... 367 00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:41,111 - Got a light, please? - Good morning. 368 00:29:41,281 --> 00:29:42,331 Good morning. How is it? 369 00:29:42,821 --> 00:29:44,781 My stomach burns. 370 00:29:47,821 --> 00:29:50,501 - I must be a bit nervous ... - What can we do ... 371 00:29:51,941 --> 00:29:54,681 Sometimes it's the nerves... 372 00:29:54,811 --> 00:29:56,581 Hey Accountant, Where's your gun? 373 00:29:57,481 --> 00:29:59,101 Mine? I always keep it... 374 00:30:01,901 --> 00:30:03,931 Come on! Be a man! 375 00:30:19,341 --> 00:30:21,061 C'mon Accountant, shoot now! 376 00:30:25,411 --> 00:30:28,701 He got it in the sleeve! A granade in the sleeve! Run! 377 00:30:42,671 --> 00:30:44,491 Go! 378 00:30:45,141 --> 00:30:48,061 Did you find it, Accountant? 379 00:30:48,381 --> 00:30:50,271 How do you feel? 380 00:30:50,991 --> 00:30:52,031 - Great! - Good. 381 00:31:02,311 --> 00:31:04,281 Hostilities ceased at sunset. 382 00:31:04,871 --> 00:31:08,845 They all returned home with their prey and trophies ... 383 00:31:08,846 --> 00:31:11,891 just in time to see the results of football. 384 00:31:12,581 --> 00:31:14,971 Next Sunday we'll be back and teach them a lesson. 385 00:31:15,211 --> 00:31:18,971 We can't, there's the trip to Genoa, for the baptism of the new starship Enterprise. 386 00:31:19,351 --> 00:31:22,001 - You can not miss. - I have an appointment with my brother ... 387 00:31:22,291 --> 00:31:25,641 We added it to the list! He owes me 5000 lira. 388 00:31:44,081 --> 00:31:46,093 Godmother of the baptism, the ineffable 389 00:31:46,105 --> 00:31:48,381 Countess Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare ... 390 00:31:48,951 --> 00:31:50,831 great shareholder of the Company. 391 00:32:11,661 --> 00:32:13,531 Here, Countess! Your turn! 392 00:32:15,871 --> 00:32:19,941 From 32 meters distance la Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare starts... 393 00:32:25,581 --> 00:32:27,871 Master of ceremony! Can I throw it? 394 00:32:28,431 --> 00:32:29,851 Throw it, Contessa, throw it! 395 00:32:42,981 --> 00:32:44,521 - Here, Contessa. - Another bottle? 396 00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:45,691 Yes, please. 397 00:32:47,571 --> 00:32:51,641 This time from 46 meters distance, la Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare starts... 398 00:32:55,031 --> 00:32:58,311 Emcee! Can I re-throw it? 399 00:32:58,421 --> 00:33:00,701 Retry, Contessa! But aim more to the centre. 400 00:33:10,281 --> 00:33:15,291 Fantozzi decided to wait in the water till the end of the ceremony. 401 00:33:18,641 --> 00:33:22,351 Emcee! Can I retry again? 402 00:33:22,491 --> 00:33:25,991 Re-retry Contessa! But more to the right! 403 00:33:27,551 --> 00:33:28,971 They followed in order... 404 00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:31,101 Mayor with tricolor sash... 405 00:33:32,721 --> 00:33:34,171 Minister of Merchant Marine... 406 00:33:36,511 --> 00:33:40,751 Baroness Filiguelli Bonchamp, 102, lifetime company mascot... 407 00:33:40,755 --> 00:33:45,441 All authorities were quietly thrown aside. 408 00:33:48,571 --> 00:33:50,890 When the reserve of champagne terminated, it was 409 00:33:50,902 --> 00:33:53,091 decided to change the ritual of the ceremony. 410 00:33:55,471 --> 00:33:59,461 Cut of a metal wire that would trigger ... 411 00:33:59,471 --> 00:34:00,871 the mechanism of the baptism. 412 00:34:01,051 --> 00:34:05,861 Re-starts from 76 meters away la Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare... 413 00:34:09,311 --> 00:34:13,011 I cut, in the name of God! 414 00:34:14,181 --> 00:34:17,211 full Archbishop's littlefinger with pastoral ring! 415 00:34:17,631 --> 00:34:20,041 Damn sow, daughter of a great ...! 416 00:34:28,631 --> 00:34:35,211 The ship was christened at nightfall once appeased the cardinal's homicidal rage. 417 00:34:37,381 --> 00:34:41,763 At night the festivities continued with a big party at the house on the hill, 418 00:34:41,764 --> 00:34:44,345 belonging to Counts Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare. 419 00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:47,554 Who, besides inviting the usual and powerful princes, 420 00:34:47,555 --> 00:34:50,105 extended the invitation the rest of the employees, 421 00:34:50,106 --> 00:34:54,643 even the most humble, given the upcoming union agreements. 422 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,774 This is a real Brandeburg dog, Archduchess, look. 423 00:34:58,851 --> 00:35:01,231 But he scares me a bit. 424 00:35:03,951 --> 00:35:08,931 Fantozzi and Filini arrived with two terrible fracs they hired. 425 00:35:09,032 --> 00:35:13,801 Filini looked like a mutilated... Fantozzi was virtually in bermudas! 426 00:35:17,831 --> 00:35:19,651 What's that? A calf? 427 00:35:19,754 --> 00:35:21,621 No, no, no! It's a horse! 428 00:35:22,222 --> 00:35:25,072 - I think it's a... puppy. - A dog...? 429 00:35:25,273 --> 00:35:27,845 A big puppy. a 2 tons puppy. 430 00:35:29,671 --> 00:35:33,793 - He's looking at us. He has a human stare. - Yes? 431 00:35:34,021 --> 00:35:35,201 You see? He purrs... 432 00:35:36,581 --> 00:35:37,681 Pardon... 433 00:35:38,501 --> 00:35:41,306 Sorry Doctor, but we our invitation cards. 434 00:35:41,341 --> 00:35:44,551 If you're kind enough to move that leg, we'd go to the party. Thank you. 435 00:35:56,441 --> 00:35:59,470 Filini and Fantozzi, What happened to them, I did not see them around. 436 00:35:59,771 --> 00:36:01,321 Maybe they were not invited. 437 00:36:01,422 --> 00:36:03,690 You're wrong, we invited everybody. 438 00:36:03,691 --> 00:36:08,134 Yes? - Even the errand boys, everyone. 439 00:36:08,135 --> 00:36:09,699 - Well, well. - Why, is someone missing? 440 00:36:09,700 --> 00:36:14,238 Two rude ones, Countess. Two they think it's chic to be late. 441 00:36:14,339 --> 00:36:17,231 - But do not worry, countess. - Yes, I worry ... 442 00:36:17,532 --> 00:36:21,041 There are two beloved employees whose whereabouts are unknown! 443 00:36:21,331 --> 00:36:23,251 - Help us! - Horrible dog, help! 444 00:36:23,861 --> 00:36:27,631 - Help! - Contessa, help! 445 00:36:28,901 --> 00:36:30,481 What are you doing, watch out! 446 00:36:30,861 --> 00:36:32,671 A human stare, wasn't it? 447 00:36:33,091 --> 00:36:34,861 Purring, wasn't it? 448 00:36:36,271 --> 00:36:37,561 I admit that I was wrong. 449 00:36:37,701 --> 00:36:38,611 Quiet, "Fido"! 450 00:36:39,321 --> 00:36:40,771 Try with "Fufi"! 451 00:36:41,061 --> 00:36:42,071 Quiet, "Fufi"! 452 00:36:42,781 --> 00:36:43,861 Try "Bobi"! 453 00:36:43,862 --> 00:36:44,811 Quiet "Bobi"! 454 00:36:46,731 --> 00:36:47,324 Friedman! 455 00:36:47,525 --> 00:36:49,381 Friedman is not a dog's name! 456 00:36:49,801 --> 00:36:51,041 How on earth is called? 457 00:36:51,231 --> 00:36:54,401 His name was Ivan the Terrible the thirty-second. 458 00:36:54,502 --> 00:36:57,071 Direct descendant of Ivan the terrible the first. 459 00:36:57,072 --> 00:36:58,931 Who belonged to Czar Nicholas I. 460 00:36:59,041 --> 00:37:01,844 Legendary champion of hunting of Russian peasants in the steppes ... 461 00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:07,011 and executed as an enemy of the people, in the October Revolution in the Red Square. 462 00:37:07,331 --> 00:37:09,646 Now come on. Here we are coming! Slowly, carefully ... 463 00:37:09,647 --> 00:37:12,431 - Do not fret, dear ... - Here we are! 464 00:37:13,951 --> 00:37:16,761 - No, I'll bring the stairs. - Do not make efforts, please. 465 00:37:20,401 --> 00:37:22,061 I'm sorry, employee! 466 00:37:24,081 --> 00:37:26,291 Forgive me employee! Are you hurt? 467 00:37:26,771 --> 00:37:30,431 It's nothing. Only a complicated skull fracture. 468 00:37:31,341 --> 00:37:34,021 To make up for the unfortunate accident... 469 00:37:34,222 --> 00:37:37,338 Counts Serbelonni, with an astute patronal move... 470 00:37:37,439 --> 00:37:40,645 invited Fantozzi and Filini to the table of honour. 471 00:37:40,746 --> 00:37:42,219 - Bring it there. - Employee! 472 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,049 - Fantozzi. - Employee! 473 00:37:44,541 --> 00:37:47,936 Allow me to introduce some of our friends: 474 00:37:48,837 --> 00:37:52,271 Excellency, His Eminence Vetanza. 475 00:37:52,781 --> 00:37:55,525 - Do�a Mi�az de Coral... - Sorry... 476 00:37:55,626 --> 00:37:57,361 my hand is slightly sweatty. 477 00:37:57,363 --> 00:38:01,101 General of Aviation Ernesto Maria Lampioni. 478 00:38:02,140 --> 00:38:04,641 Young Marchesa Giava delle Corte. 479 00:38:07,251 --> 00:38:09,961 You know the rules, Fantozzi ...! 480 00:38:09,981 --> 00:38:13,530 You do know how to behave in high society, don't you? 481 00:38:13,571 --> 00:38:15,921 What you must do and must not do... 482 00:38:16,411 --> 00:38:19,313 - yes, yes! - We'll see! 483 00:38:19,314 --> 00:38:22,501 Why, "we'll see"? My hand was only a bit sweatty, sorry. 484 00:38:37,991 --> 00:38:39,971 - Your shoes. - Thanks, should be exquisi ... 485 00:38:43,121 --> 00:38:46,321 The cocker had taken them, the puppy... 486 00:39:13,591 --> 00:39:17,951 Employee! Do you knows our Ambassador in Germany? 487 00:39:18,781 --> 00:39:22,691 Count Otto von Liujbert Steigner. 488 00:39:22,981 --> 00:39:24,551 Heil Hitler! Forgive me... 489 00:39:24,771 --> 00:39:26,421 Just call me Otto. 490 00:39:26,422 --> 00:39:27,438 No, no, at least Nine... 491 00:39:28,039 --> 00:39:29,937 Ten! - Eleven! - Twelve! 492 00:39:30,138 --> 00:39:31,730 Fantozzi won. 493 00:39:31,831 --> 00:39:32,651 �Thirtynine, take this! 494 00:39:40,122 --> 00:39:43,430 How good! Exquisit! 495 00:39:48,671 --> 00:39:54,671 The glasses: 5 in a line on his right and another 5 in line on his left. 496 00:39:54,972 --> 00:39:56,697 What would you drink? 497 00:39:56,898 --> 00:39:58,223 Aren't you thirsty? 498 00:39:58,425 --> 00:40:01,190 My saliva levels are down to zero... 499 00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:02,171 then drink! 500 00:40:09,731 --> 00:40:10,571 What are you doing? 501 00:40:11,921 --> 00:40:13,761 I read... I read my hand... 502 00:40:14,061 --> 00:40:17,001 See? The line of luck ... 503 00:40:25,241 --> 00:40:26,306 What day is today? 504 00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:27,700 Sunday! - Sunday! 505 00:40:27,712 --> 00:40:30,422 They said the same thing at the same time! 506 00:40:30,457 --> 00:40:32,453 Let's do "flic-flac", Give me your little finger! 507 00:40:33,755 --> 00:40:36,620 Ring finger... Middle... 508 00:40:42,101 --> 00:40:45,791 The Thrush, the most difficult thing in nature! 509 00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:22,335 Cheers! 510 00:41:37,791 --> 00:41:40,501 - Have you finished it? - Yes, I ate it. 511 00:41:47,621 --> 00:41:48,896 How am I doing? 512 00:41:48,931 --> 00:41:50,301 bad, by God! 513 00:42:02,401 --> 00:42:06,111 At the end, he took a drastic decision, he swallowed it whole. 514 00:42:19,518 --> 00:42:21,054 So good! 515 00:42:25,761 --> 00:42:30,973 Fantozzi's colors: red, Pompeian red, orange lobster, 516 00:42:31,574 --> 00:42:35,891 violet, dull purple, dark blue, 517 00:42:36,521 --> 00:42:40,281 at dark blue, Fantozzi entered a cardio respiratory arrest. 518 00:42:44,611 --> 00:42:47,701 Rice from the oven with cherry tomatoes garniture. 519 00:42:48,001 --> 00:42:51,184 The tomatoes have this tragic feature: 520 00:42:51,485 --> 00:42:56,551 outside: cold, insi.. Fireball at 18,000 degrees! 521 00:42:56,731 --> 00:42:59,841 I'm going to get this one! 522 00:43:09,301 --> 00:43:10,851 You're not going to spit it here, I hope? 523 00:43:11,161 --> 00:43:12,321 No, no... 524 00:43:15,821 --> 00:43:19,861 You will not spit here? You're not going to do that, Fantozzi! Get out! 525 00:43:24,131 --> 00:43:26,214 Fantozzi! Maybe you know ... 526 00:43:26,415 --> 00:43:29,341 What was the name of that temp with that boiled fish face? 527 00:44:19,151 --> 00:44:20,151 Little tomatoes... 528 00:44:24,521 --> 00:44:25,681 - Fantozzi! - S�? 529 00:44:25,741 --> 00:44:27,401 Open your mouth and close your eyes. 530 00:44:35,250 --> 00:44:38,036 Fantozzi! 531 00:44:40,471 --> 00:44:43,821 he had falled right into the arms of Iv�n the terrible... 532 00:44:44,131 --> 00:44:47,019 who after dragging him to the darkest corner of the park, 533 00:44:47,020 --> 00:44:51,862 began to dig a sinister looking grave, 1.30 for 2. 534 00:45:32,461 --> 00:45:33,491 And go, then! 535 00:45:37,591 --> 00:45:40,511 It was not the lights of a car that wanted to pass, 536 00:45:53,561 --> 00:45:56,026 The beast kept him besieged for a week, 537 00:45:56,327 --> 00:45:59,956 that was obviously counted as vacation. 538 00:46:01,741 --> 00:46:04,961 Ugo? Is it hot enough? 539 00:46:07,921 --> 00:46:11,023 An injustice that Fantozzi could not stand ... 540 00:46:11,024 --> 00:46:13,166 so that for the first time in his life, 541 00:46:13,167 --> 00:46:16,005 He faked being sick, and stayed home. 542 00:46:20,060 --> 00:46:21,021 The control! 543 00:46:25,894 --> 00:46:29,001 Wait. Do not open! Do not open! 544 00:46:40,961 --> 00:46:44,231 It wasn't the doctor, it was Mr. Bonetti from the 7th floor! 545 00:46:45,451 --> 00:46:47,011 What happened to the Virgin Mary? 546 00:46:49,971 --> 00:46:52,755 Bonetti? And what the hell did he want, 547 00:46:52,756 --> 00:46:54,805 Bonetti from the 7th floor? To give me a heart attack? 548 00:46:55,061 --> 00:46:58,384 No. He has to leave unexpectedly with his family ... 549 00:46:58,485 --> 00:47:01,001 What do I care about this? 550 00:47:01,191 --> 00:47:04,991 He had three free tickets for the American Circus ... 551 00:47:05,281 --> 00:47:07,741 he kindly gave them to us. 552 00:47:08,391 --> 00:47:09,151 Free... 553 00:47:09,941 --> 00:47:11,893 He could not sleep all night 554 00:47:12,194 --> 00:47:13,511 The risk was insane! 555 00:47:13,912 --> 00:47:16,214 If you were discovered you would risk at least... 556 00:47:16,215 --> 00:47:18,215 a public whipping in the cantine. 557 00:47:18,431 --> 00:47:22,881 But it was the first time in his life that Fantozzi had free tickets. 558 00:47:23,571 --> 00:47:25,446 - What happens? - I've decided. 559 00:47:25,747 --> 00:47:27,775 - We'll go. - Where? - To the circus. 560 00:47:28,861 --> 00:47:30,541 - We'll be careful... - Oh, My God... 561 00:47:30,621 --> 00:47:31,411 ...But we will go. 562 00:47:46,031 --> 00:47:47,441 - Ugo, is that you? - S�. 563 00:47:49,431 --> 00:47:50,437 It's dad! 564 00:47:50,738 --> 00:47:51,961 Put the scarf back! 565 00:47:52,591 --> 00:47:54,271 Let's go. 566 00:48:25,501 --> 00:48:28,441 The tickets! Oh God! 567 00:48:29,821 --> 00:48:31,531 Oh, here they are! That's better! 568 00:48:31,611 --> 00:48:32,761 Come, Mari�ngela. 569 00:48:36,468 --> 00:48:40,930 And now, ladies and gentlemen, our intelligent chimps! 570 00:48:42,571 --> 00:48:44,021 Don't make me pull you, dear... 571 00:48:44,331 --> 00:48:46,611 Dad, I'm here! 572 00:48:48,821 --> 00:48:55,500 Hello, miss. You see... Ah, it's because you have the same dress... 573 00:48:55,510 --> 00:48:57,849 It was a misunderstanding. keep up the good work. 574 00:48:58,550 --> 00:48:59,871 "Come on, darling". 575 00:49:02,001 --> 00:49:03,791 Come, Chita... Eh, Mariangela. 576 00:49:07,991 --> 00:49:10,501 Did you see Pina, how cute was that monkey? 577 00:49:11,311 --> 00:49:14,762 You seem Mariangela, that monkeys are superior animals... 578 00:49:14,765 --> 00:49:20,970 excuse me... Aren't you the one who was supposed to be in bed, sick? 579 00:49:21,201 --> 00:49:23,781 Me? No, you're making a mistake! 580 00:49:24,581 --> 00:49:27,881 And now comes into play... 581 00:49:27,916 --> 00:49:30,400 the great Hungarian artist! 582 00:49:30,672 --> 00:49:32,977 - Take this! - What are you doing here? 583 00:49:33,980 --> 00:49:34,984 Take this! 584 00:49:46,341 --> 00:49:47,431 Go get it immediately! 585 00:49:50,971 --> 00:49:52,980 Look at this clown! 586 00:49:53,638 --> 00:49:55,701 Take this, why not? 587 00:49:56,802 --> 00:50:00,397 Gentlemen, our Bronco "Wild Horse". 588 00:50:30,801 --> 00:50:33,001 Greetings, thank you very much! 589 00:50:43,281 --> 00:50:46,011 Accountant Ugo Fantozzi, 7829/bis tuition ... 590 00:50:46,401 --> 00:50:50,781 Consider my situation. Hold me tight! 591 00:50:55,621 --> 00:50:56,821 - Ugo! - Pap�! 592 00:50:57,441 --> 00:51:00,621 So you are Accountat Fantozzi! 593 00:51:00,861 --> 00:51:03,801 No, I insist! 594 00:51:04,451 --> 00:51:05,541 it's not me! 595 00:51:12,671 --> 00:51:16,241 And now ladies and gentlemen, the most sensational number! 596 00:51:17,471 --> 00:51:20,561 Mr. Superflight. The bullet man! 597 00:51:23,931 --> 00:51:25,291 Stop! Quiet everybody! 598 00:51:25,961 --> 00:51:28,151 Accountant Fantozzi! 599 00:51:28,671 --> 00:51:30,211 Come out! 600 00:51:31,991 --> 00:51:37,341 I know you're in there! Come out I tell you! 601 00:51:39,241 --> 00:51:39,921 Oh, is that so? 602 00:51:40,122 --> 00:51:41,171 Then I'll take care of you! 603 00:51:52,471 --> 00:51:56,171 He was found a few days later in the province of Agrigento ... 604 00:51:56,331 --> 00:51:58,141 by the Archangel Michael. 605 00:52:00,821 --> 00:52:04,766 The divine messenger, reminded him that he was 9 months, 606 00:52:04,831 --> 00:52:08,661 and recommended to delve into the delivery room. 607 00:52:09,551 --> 00:52:12,791 Sorry Doctor, Hadn't we agreed in Bethlehem? 608 00:52:14,396 --> 00:52:16,453 Well, if you say so. Okay. 609 00:52:42,741 --> 00:52:46,460 "Battleship KOTIOMKIN" 610 00:52:50,831 --> 00:52:53,831 Many years ago, Fantozzi was hired by the company ... 611 00:52:54,211 --> 00:52:57,381 with the position of "Sponge for stamps." 612 00:53:02,361 --> 00:53:05,521 He succeeded because, in the aptitude test ... 613 00:53:05,891 --> 00:53:08,305 following the advice of a corrupt chief porter, 614 00:53:08,607 --> 00:53:13,251 responding to two strange questions from the chairman of the committee 615 00:53:18,821 --> 00:53:20,821 Do you like the German Expressionist film? 616 00:53:22,271 --> 00:53:23,611 It is the love of my life. 617 00:53:23,891 --> 00:53:26,731 And I want to remind here the great teachers: Murnau ... 618 00:53:26,981 --> 00:53:28,271 and Robert Wiene, 619 00:53:28,371 --> 00:53:32,743 from whom we cannot forget "Das kabinett... 620 00:53:32,744 --> 00:53:35,031 des Doktor Caligarisss". 621 00:53:35,391 --> 00:53:36,941 Caligari! 622 00:53:38,851 --> 00:53:41,971 Who is David Yourrrrrgryft? 623 00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:47,681 I did not hear... 624 00:53:48,282 --> 00:53:52,755 - Gryft! - Griffith! the father of American cinema! 625 00:53:52,756 --> 00:53:55,451 - Yes, him! - I adore him, he is like a father to me. 626 00:53:55,821 --> 00:53:59,220 Well, young man. You are one of us! 627 00:54:02,691 --> 00:54:05,911 The powerful Professor Maria Ricardelli Guidobaldo, 628 00:54:06,071 --> 00:54:08,801 was a fanatic worshiper of art cinema. 629 00:54:09,301 --> 00:54:13,121 Once a week he would force his employees and their families... 630 00:54:13,551 --> 00:54:16,181 to terrifying visions of cinema classics. 631 00:54:16,671 --> 00:54:19,730 In 20 years Fantozzi had to watch, again and again, 632 00:54:19,801 --> 00:54:23,624 "Dies Irae", from Carl Theodor Dreyer. Six hours. 633 00:54:23,930 --> 00:54:27,101 "Men of Aran," Flaherty. Nine parts. 634 00:54:27,401 --> 00:54:30,170 But above all, the most classic of classics ... 635 00:54:30,173 --> 00:54:33,432 ..."Battleship Kotiomkin"!. 18 rolls. 636 00:54:33,854 --> 00:54:39,031 Of which Professor Ricardelli, possessed a rare personal copy. 637 00:54:39,971 --> 00:54:41,681 Excuse me. What do they show tonight? 638 00:54:41,891 --> 00:54:44,661 - "Battleship Kotiomkin". - "Battle... ". 639 00:54:46,251 --> 00:54:49,561 Go, go! 640 00:54:49,562 --> 00:54:50,564 - Battleship... "! - Ughino... Be brave. 641 00:56:23,531 --> 00:56:25,111 Excuse me... 642 00:56:26,581 --> 00:56:30,523 - �Ugo! Wake up! - I caught you, "Fantocci"! You sleep! 643 00:56:30,524 --> 00:56:33,812 �No Professor, It was a sudden spell of sickness! 644 00:56:33,921 --> 00:56:35,981 No madam. He sleeps like a piece of shit. 645 00:56:36,651 --> 00:56:39,986 - Wake up!. - It's already 7:00? Alarm clock! 646 00:56:39,987 --> 00:56:42,239 - Coffee, newspaper, bus! - Ugo! 647 00:56:42,551 --> 00:56:44,681 Good morning, Professor. Has the film already ended? 648 00:56:44,701 --> 00:56:47,282 No, but you'd like that, you piece of shit? - No, no, no. 649 00:56:47,284 --> 00:56:48,891 There are still 3 parts. 650 00:56:48,926 --> 00:56:50,651 Great! 3 parts... 651 00:56:50,671 --> 00:56:52,191 And you will see them on your knees. 652 00:56:52,381 --> 00:56:54,101 Kneeling is better ... 653 00:56:54,102 --> 00:56:59,601 - On your knees ... - Not here. Come, follow me! 654 00:57:02,271 --> 00:57:05,401 It's a piece of shit. That's the right word ... 655 00:57:07,391 --> 00:57:08,641 Here!On the chickpeas! 656 00:57:09,431 --> 00:57:11,471 Let's see if you sleep well here. 657 00:57:11,861 --> 00:57:15,261 For more than 20 years suffered Fantozzi horrible public humiliation... 658 00:57:15,551 --> 00:57:17,291 during and after the screenings, 659 00:57:17,711 --> 00:57:20,801 when Ricardelli would open a discussion about the film. 660 00:57:22,031 --> 00:57:26,171 And now, as always, I invite you to express your aesthetic judgment. 661 00:57:26,941 --> 00:57:28,261 It's a great film! 662 00:57:29,300 --> 00:57:31,311 - I demand a word in! - You ... 663 00:57:31,581 --> 00:57:33,938 - Is a masterpiece. - The eye of the mother, 664 00:57:33,939 --> 00:57:36,754 - ... the stroller with the baby! - You, Filini ... 665 00:57:37,101 --> 00:57:40,331 When I see the detail of the boots, I fall into ecstasy. 666 00:57:40,511 --> 00:57:41,391 Say. 667 00:57:41,501 --> 00:57:45,881 Tonight the analog montage moved me completely! 668 00:57:46,971 --> 00:57:49,301 The boots of the soldiers and above all, the stroller! 669 00:57:49,661 --> 00:57:51,811 Yes, it's true. Say. 670 00:57:52,151 --> 00:57:56,124 The poor baby stroller that rushes down the stairs. 671 00:57:56,125 --> 00:57:58,521 Professor, couldn't we watch it again from the beginning? 672 00:57:59,101 --> 00:58:00,981 I wish, dear friend. But it's late. 673 00:58:04,011 --> 00:58:07,203 And you, "Fantocci"! Do you open your mouth only to yawn? 674 00:58:07,804 --> 00:58:08,880 �No tiene nada que decir? 675 00:58:09,111 --> 00:58:10,251 ...Nothing to say? 676 00:58:11,561 --> 00:58:15,941 My husband, the Accountant Fantozzi, is awestruck. 677 00:58:16,161 --> 00:58:19,741 No ma'am "Fantocci" Your husband is a piece of shit. 678 00:58:20,001 --> 00:58:21,301 Is it true or not? 679 00:58:29,261 --> 00:58:33,251 On Saturday the 18th, at 20:25 pm, Live from Wembley stadium, 680 00:58:33,471 --> 00:58:36,421 England-Italy, qualification for the World Cup. 681 00:58:36,961 --> 00:58:39,511 Fantozzi had a wonderful program! 682 00:58:39,701 --> 00:58:44,351 Socks, underwear, flannel robe, table watching television ... 683 00:58:44,352 --> 00:58:46,687 his favourite, omelette with onions, 684 00:58:46,688 --> 00:58:49,575 large beer cold, demoniac breath ... 685 00:58:49,576 --> 00:58:51,035 and free burping! 686 00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:55,744 "We are now connecting to Wembley to broadcast on Eurovision "... 687 00:58:55,745 --> 00:58:58,092 "the live broadcast of the match" ... 688 00:58:58,093 --> 00:59:00,991 "Italy-England, valid for the World Cup. " 689 00:59:03,500 --> 00:59:08,791 Ugo, look, Doesn't she look as an angel? 690 00:59:09,941 --> 00:59:13,625 Yeah, fine. Look, don't boter me, I don't want to hear a fly. 691 00:59:13,626 --> 00:59:15,741 Pina, pepper, pepper! 692 00:59:16,341 --> 00:59:19,291 And, Pina, don't forget to disconnect... 693 00:59:19,541 --> 00:59:25,540 "In a moment we'll switch to Wembley to broadcast on Eurovision "... 694 00:59:25,541 --> 00:59:28,321 "Italia-Inghilterra, valid for the world cup". 695 00:59:31,751 --> 00:59:33,491 Oh, it's you Accountant Filini! 696 00:59:33,492 --> 00:59:36,461 Aha, Filini! I'm already in the trenches! 697 00:59:36,462 --> 00:59:40,970 I bet we win, 10 coffees to 1. Italy, Italy! 698 00:59:40,981 --> 00:59:41,911 Did you hear? 699 00:59:43,931 --> 00:59:44,941 What? 700 00:59:46,341 --> 00:59:49,976 Fine, Accountant. We obey. 701 00:59:50,011 --> 00:59:52,871 "Dear viewers, we are at Wembley ... " 702 00:59:52,901 --> 00:59:54,756 Italia, Italia! 703 00:59:54,757 --> 00:59:58,176 "Teams are placed in the field to sing the national anthems. " 704 01:00:01,691 --> 01:00:06,061 Ugo! I think you can not watch the game tonight. 705 01:00:06,096 --> 01:00:07,181 What!? 706 01:00:07,451 --> 01:00:09,011 - We gotta get out ... - What... 707 01:00:09,401 --> 01:00:10,851 Professor Ricardelli. 708 01:00:10,981 --> 01:00:11,441 No! 709 01:00:11,501 --> 01:00:17,561 Filini to me we have to go immediately to see a Checoslovak film. 710 01:00:18,471 --> 01:00:20,241 But with German ! 711 01:00:20,341 --> 01:00:22,511 - No! - Ugo! - Dad... 712 01:00:23,151 --> 01:00:24,521 Ughino, don't be like that! 713 01:00:25,711 --> 01:00:30,213 "We reached the big time. Italy-England are played in this historic match"... 714 01:00:30,214 --> 01:00:32,528 "qualification for the finals World Cup. " 715 01:00:33,161 --> 01:00:36,161 "Inquiry of timers. The referee blows" ... 716 01:00:36,196 --> 01:00:36,981 The match has begun! 717 01:00:39,121 --> 01:00:44,476 "Capelli Pass to Purici. To Antonioni. Tunnel to the English defender ". 718 01:00:44,477 --> 01:00:47,246 - "Another tunnel. heel for Roccia". - Ugo, we are running late. 719 01:00:48,175 --> 01:00:51,179 "Center, miracolous intervention of the English porter. 720 01:00:51,684 --> 01:00:54,759 "Take from the bottom. Controls Benetti Purici happens to the left ". 721 01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:58,392 "Formidable cannon of Purici that clears the crossbar. " 722 01:00:58,393 --> 01:01:03,015 "The ball is controlled by Bellugi. Bellugi for Capello now as right wing. 723 01:01:03,016 --> 01:01:06,815 "Elude the McKinley center trying to stop it. 724 01:01:06,817 --> 01:01:09,899 "Shoots, nape of English, Capello quill again neck, "... ... 725 01:01:09,900 --> 01:01:13,228 "terrible confusion, nose, neck, shin, neck, ear "... 726 01:01:13,229 --> 01:01:15,210 "enters Purici, Almost goes off target ". 727 01:01:16,211 --> 01:01:19,966 "Sorry for the excitement, friends who are facing the screen "... 728 01:01:20,112 --> 01:01:24,240 "but I haven't seen such a good start of the Azzurri since 170 years. 729 01:01:24,241 --> 01:01:28,771 "The ball is by Tardelli, speeding. McKinley eludes stop trying "... 730 01:01:30,172 --> 01:01:33,790 "Shoot. Nape of McKinley, Savoldi leg, nose of Antognoni ". 731 01:01:33,791 --> 01:01:37,287 "Nape of English goalkeeper, nose McKinley, Benetti leg, neck "... 732 01:01:43,341 --> 01:01:45,781 - Adjust it!! - There you go! 733 01:01:46,251 --> 01:01:48,341 - Ughino, calm down please... - I couldn't hear... 734 01:01:58,651 --> 01:01:59,558 "Fabulous strike!"... 735 01:01:59,559 --> 01:02:01,459 �Pole!Pole! 736 01:02:05,281 --> 01:02:08,161 - Ugo where are you going? - Will you come back, dad? 737 01:02:08,262 --> 01:02:11,042 "The Azzurri tear in again. They approach the English area. " 738 01:02:11,043 --> 01:02:15,514 "Azzurri attack. Antognoni jump almost hangs on the back to McKinley. " 739 01:02:17,281 --> 01:02:18,771 Excuse me. Who hit the pole? 740 01:02:20,210 --> 01:02:21,321 "strike from McKinley," 741 01:02:21,631 --> 01:02:24,450 "Terrible fall of the English goalkeeper". 742 01:02:25,151 --> 01:02:27,756 "The 120,000 spectators at Wembley and you, the lucky million "... " 743 01:02:27,757 --> 01:02:30,610 "that nothing could tear away from the front of the screen "... 744 01:02:31,011 --> 01:02:34,990 "may notice that tonight's Italy dwarfs the memory "... 745 01:02:34,991 --> 01:02:38,341 "of that legendary extra time of Italy, Germany, Mexico " 746 01:02:45,901 --> 01:02:47,291 Nothing? 747 01:02:49,331 --> 01:02:50,031 The tie? 748 01:02:54,691 --> 01:02:58,416 Pocket ... Perfect! 749 01:03:00,281 --> 01:03:02,251 Okay, go ahead! 750 01:03:03,181 --> 01:03:04,211 The mouth ... 751 01:03:06,941 --> 01:03:09,121 Pregnant? 9 inches? ... Congratulations. 752 01:03:09,481 --> 01:03:10,731 Did you see? What an embarassment. 753 01:03:35,461 --> 01:03:39,691 With great sadness I must inform you that by an oversight ... 754 01:03:40,461 --> 01:03:43,701 the copy of the Czechoslovak film did not arrive on time. 755 01:03:44,561 --> 01:03:46,891 Therefore we cannot make the projection. 756 01:03:47,051 --> 01:03:48,571 Let's go! 757 01:03:49,621 --> 01:03:50,911 Where are you going? Everybody freeze! 758 01:03:54,631 --> 01:04:00,511 Instead, there will be a screening of the Masterpiece of Serghei M. Einstein ... 759 01:04:00,941 --> 01:04:02,521 ... "Battleship Kotiomkin". 760 01:04:20,181 --> 01:04:24,891 Tonight I feel a more vibrant tension, they are more active, they exchange comments. 761 01:04:24,951 --> 01:04:26,741 yes, they partecipate more, Professor. 762 01:04:28,371 --> 01:04:31,398 they were not exchanging comments. In the darkness of the room... 763 01:04:31,399 --> 01:04:33,703 were running uncontrollable and implausible rumors. 764 01:04:34,031 --> 01:04:37,001 It was said that Italy won 20-0 ... 765 01:04:37,451 --> 01:04:41,301 and goalkeeper Zoff had made a header from a corner. 766 01:04:52,224 --> 01:04:54,137 Twentyone! 767 01:05:17,531 --> 01:05:20,671 Well, we opened our usual debate. 768 01:05:21,541 --> 01:05:22,661 Who want to speak? 769 01:05:24,511 --> 01:05:27,321 Filini? Calboni? 770 01:05:31,441 --> 01:05:34,811 Excuse me! Can I say something? 771 01:05:35,311 --> 01:05:36,991 Ah, our piece of shit! 772 01:05:37,471 --> 01:05:40,081 Come Fantocci! Please come. 773 01:05:40,421 --> 01:05:42,686 Finally you have an opinion. 774 01:05:43,221 --> 01:05:47,931 Who knows what deep aesthetic judgment you must have matured over the years? 775 01:05:48,534 --> 01:05:50,237 Talk, talk. 776 01:05:50,940 --> 01:05:51,742 Well? 777 01:05:52,431 --> 01:05:56,241 For me, "Battleship Kotiomkin" ... 778 01:05:57,781 --> 01:05:59,391 ...It's fucking shit! 779 01:06:13,041 --> 01:06:15,681 Ninety-two minutes of applause! 780 01:06:19,191 --> 01:06:21,731 Got it? Piece of shit! 781 01:06:34,781 --> 01:06:37,481 Burn! There you have soldiers' boots! 782 01:06:39,161 --> 01:06:41,298 The first thing was to destroy forever ... 783 01:06:41,299 --> 01:06:44,281 The damn personal copy of the damn "Battleship Kotiomkin." 784 01:06:45,401 --> 01:06:48,121 On the chickpeas! 785 01:06:51,361 --> 01:06:54,431 - Look! - Your "eye of the mother"! 786 01:06:54,634 --> 01:06:56,537 The baby stroller! 787 01:06:58,091 --> 01:06:59,951 There is your analog montage! 788 01:07:00,581 --> 01:07:01,921 �"Halt"! Just a moment! 789 01:07:02,331 --> 01:07:04,481 Now, the screenings! 790 01:07:08,041 --> 01:07:11,060 Guidobaldo Mar�a Riccardelli was forced to watch for 2 days... 791 01:07:11,061 --> 01:07:14,733 and 2 nights non stop, to see continuously rotating... 792 01:07:15,034 --> 01:07:19,091 "Giovannona long legs", "The Esorciccio" y "police are pissed off". 793 01:07:24,561 --> 01:07:26,531 - Want some coffee? - How about some coffee? 794 01:07:29,471 --> 01:07:31,011 Come on, right! Piece of shit. 795 01:07:31,381 --> 01:07:32,711 - Ughino, a coffee? - No, no. 796 01:07:33,711 --> 01:07:35,271 Bravo, my hero Fantozzi! 797 01:07:35,311 --> 01:07:39,989 Until the dawn of the third day, the police got pissed off for real. 798 01:07:43,691 --> 01:07:46,181 There's no escape! You are surrounded! 799 01:07:46,991 --> 01:07:47,931 Never! 800 01:07:49,731 --> 01:07:51,371 Never! 801 01:07:52,851 --> 01:07:56,253 �Fantozzi, I am the Director of Directors! 802 01:07:56,254 --> 01:08:00,362 I advise you to release immediately the hostage... 803 01:08:00,363 --> 01:08:01,351 And to surrender unconditionally! 804 01:08:01,641 --> 01:08:03,861 We'll never surrender, did you hear me? 805 01:08:04,461 --> 01:08:06,431 Never! Bah, maybe... 806 01:08:07,601 --> 01:08:08,501 Stop it! 807 01:08:10,031 --> 01:08:12,231 To partly compensate Professor Ricardelli... 808 01:08:12,551 --> 01:08:16,066 of the irreparable loss of his beautiful film ... 809 01:08:16,067 --> 01:08:19,363 The mutineers were sentenced a horrendous punishment, 810 01:08:19,364 --> 01:08:20,745 worth of a Dantean circle of hell. 811 01:08:21,446 --> 01:08:25,990 They had to recreate atleast the main sequence of the masterpiece destroyed, 812 01:08:26,231 --> 01:08:30,461 every saturday afternoon, until they reached retirement ... 813 01:08:31,721 --> 01:08:32,971 We can begin! 814 01:08:47,971 --> 01:08:48,971 Die, Filini! 815 01:08:51,696 --> 01:08:53,720 - Bastards! - We will take revenge! 816 01:08:54,151 --> 01:08:55,291 Down boy! 817 01:08:58,761 --> 01:08:59,891 mother's eye! 818 01:09:11,751 --> 01:09:12,741 Soldiers open fire! 819 01:09:13,621 --> 01:09:15,124 Murderers! 820 01:09:15,125 --> 01:09:16,759 Now, the stroller! 821 01:09:16,851 --> 01:09:18,901 - Please, go slow... - S�, Accountant. 822 01:09:18,902 --> 01:09:20,551 Today it's already the 4th time! 823 01:09:26,550 --> 01:09:28,602 Oh, mam�! �Oh, mam�! Oh God! 824 01:09:35,721 --> 01:09:36,871 Bravo, "Fantocci"! 825 01:09:37,561 --> 01:09:40,641 You are so nicely chubby, Like an infant. 826 01:09:40,901 --> 01:09:43,411 Don't worry, nobody will take away this role from you. 827 01:09:43,921 --> 01:09:46,191 You have the "fisique du role". 828 01:09:46,451 --> 01:09:48,221 Now do another take. 829 01:09:48,651 --> 01:09:50,621 - Another?. - Yes, yes, another. 830 01:09:53,441 --> 01:09:54,711 - We do another one? - Yes.. 831 01:09:54,841 --> 01:09:56,971 Good, have you seen the analog montage? 832 01:09:57,051 --> 01:09:58,751 Almost better than the Master's one! 833 01:10:00,141 --> 01:10:02,701 Let's start again! Get back in your position! 834 01:10:17,901 --> 01:10:20,791 - Ugo! - Bye, Dad! 835 01:10:22,411 --> 01:10:26,060 A sad morning, Mrs. Pina and Mari�ngela, left ... 836 01:10:26,061 --> 01:10:30,025 to attend the funeral of a distant second cousin in Pescara. 837 01:10:31,641 --> 01:10:35,111 They left Fantozzi alone with his pain. 838 01:10:39,861 --> 01:10:42,549 After centuries of everyday family bondage ... 839 01:10:42,550 --> 01:10:46,160 He was free. And with a free house ... 840 01:10:46,367 --> 01:10:48,301 Calboni took advantage situation. 841 01:10:48,303 --> 01:10:51,334 and involved him in a shady affair... 842 01:10:51,371 --> 01:10:54,311 With that face, I bet you need to tell me something. 843 01:10:54,411 --> 01:10:57,734 Something unpleasant, but you lack the courage, right? 844 01:10:58,021 --> 01:10:59,681 - No... - S�. 845 01:11:00,181 --> 01:11:03,157 Could it be that the Engineer Masella Cominetti ... 846 01:11:03,158 --> 01:11:04,735 wants the balance for tomorrow morning ... 847 01:11:04,736 --> 01:11:08,459 and that you, me and Filini ... 848 01:11:08,460 --> 01:11:11,422 Must work all night at your house? 849 01:11:11,423 --> 01:11:13,631 - S�? - S�. 850 01:11:14,331 --> 01:11:16,381 I'm sorry. Just tonight, 851 01:11:16,382 --> 01:11:18,401 that I had invited my wife out for dinner ... 852 01:11:19,211 --> 01:11:21,291 Dont worry about it, maybe I can come too... 853 01:11:21,361 --> 01:11:22,811 To give you company. 854 01:11:22,891 --> 01:11:23,621 Why Not? _Not! 855 01:11:26,191 --> 01:11:27,271 Oh, nevermind then. 856 01:11:27,611 --> 01:11:29,781 - Can I sit he... - No, it's busy. 857 01:11:31,541 --> 01:11:33,401 - and here? - No, also busy. 858 01:11:35,221 --> 01:11:36,288 All busy... 859 01:11:36,300 --> 01:11:39,535 Move on, go. further down there is plenty of room. 860 01:11:39,536 --> 01:11:41,851 Then I'll leave, ma'am ... Bon appetit ... 861 01:11:42,011 --> 01:11:43,011 Bye, Fantozzi. 862 01:11:50,611 --> 01:11:53,341 Then Vivi, what shall we do, are you busy?. Oh, Ok. 863 01:11:54,001 --> 01:11:57,138 The appointment was at 21:30 at the phone booth 864 01:11:57,139 --> 01:11:58,241 of Garibaldi Avenue. 865 01:11:58,641 --> 01:12:01,621 here Calboni made 126 phone calls... 866 01:12:01,711 --> 01:12:04,180 to an equal number of unknown people, 867 01:12:04,181 --> 01:12:06,781 describing them to us as actresses and models. 868 01:12:07,871 --> 01:12:10,851 Hi, Zizi. Oh, did you recognize me? 869 01:12:11,041 --> 01:12:13,671 Si, s�. I am with 2 friends. 870 01:12:15,221 --> 01:12:17,441 Let's say middle-aged. 871 01:12:17,681 --> 01:12:21,071 ne short and fat. The other is thin, but shortsighted. 872 01:12:21,351 --> 01:12:23,861 Double lenses. Type owl, do you know? 873 01:12:24,801 --> 01:12:27,031 What Ah, I see. 874 01:12:27,681 --> 01:12:30,751 All right. Ciao, Zizi! 875 01:12:31,521 --> 01:12:32,851 She's also is busy? 876 01:12:32,961 --> 01:12:35,381 No, they're all free... 877 01:12:35,481 --> 01:12:37,391 But when I start describing you, they make excuses. 878 01:12:37,611 --> 01:12:39,351 But if you, describes so ... 879 01:12:39,551 --> 01:12:41,021 "Owl type," he says!! 880 01:12:41,161 --> 01:12:43,321 But I cannot compromise my reputation! 881 01:12:43,356 --> 01:12:45,071 I cannot sell a dead. 882 01:12:45,431 --> 01:12:48,751 Calboni sorry, could you not be at least lighter with the next one? 883 01:12:48,752 --> 01:12:51,721 - ...What next one? - What next, the last one was Zizi. 884 01:12:52,741 --> 01:12:56,241 - How, Zizi? - Watch out, disgraces can happen. 885 01:12:58,451 --> 01:12:59,201 Well? 886 01:13:03,271 --> 01:13:05,201 I finished my ones. And yours!? 887 01:13:05,251 --> 01:13:06,951 No, no, no, sorry... 888 01:13:08,401 --> 01:13:11,443 - El Contable Fantozzi was... - Oh God... 889 01:13:12,444 --> 01:13:14,351 - What's happening "puccettone? - "Lost...! I've lost them! 890 01:13:14,401 --> 01:13:18,031 Oh God! I've lost them! 891 01:13:18,432 --> 01:13:19,534 My savings... 892 01:13:20,641 --> 01:13:23,274 So we said: Accountant fantozzi put in the place, 893 01:13:23,275 --> 01:13:26,470 I brought the alcohol, the rest was up to you. 894 01:13:26,841 --> 01:13:29,191 Ok, just a moment. Let's see... 895 01:13:29,841 --> 01:13:32,451 Oh, what an idiot! Why did I not think about it earlier? 896 01:13:33,301 --> 01:13:35,241 - What? - The "Hippopotamus"! 897 01:13:35,621 --> 01:13:38,501 is it a girl who's... 898 01:13:39,091 --> 01:13:40,141 No, it's a club! 899 01:13:40,371 --> 01:13:44,731 it's full of nice lonely ladies, who go there looking for company... 900 01:13:44,831 --> 01:13:46,281 Let's go! Taxi! 901 01:13:46,321 --> 01:13:48,516 - Which are the first three? - Why three? 902 01:13:48,518 --> 01:13:50,828 One each, no? You live only once! 903 01:13:50,829 --> 01:13:51,754 Taxi! 904 01:13:57,771 --> 01:13:58,591 Hi, babe! 905 01:14:01,371 --> 01:14:03,121 bab... sorry, miss. 906 01:14:03,981 --> 01:14:06,091 - Is the action started? - we are the first in. 907 01:14:06,791 --> 01:14:11,171 She meant they were the first clients in 3 months. 908 01:14:12,091 --> 01:14:14,651 - People is coming! - C'mon girls, get ready! 909 01:14:21,024 --> 01:14:22,865 They are all high class, girls from the high bourgeoise. 910 01:14:23,005 --> 01:14:23,024 - Ah! - There's also some big name around. 911 01:14:23,040 --> 01:14:25,391 But they are incognito. Club's rule. 912 01:14:25,781 --> 01:14:27,671 Here, no names, only telephone numbers. 913 01:14:28,771 --> 01:14:29,921 - Got it? - You choose and call ... 914 01:14:30,261 --> 01:14:31,471 A "drink", gentlemen? 915 01:14:33,111 --> 01:14:34,341 Do you want to drink? 916 01:14:35,931 --> 01:14:37,701 We brought a bottle... 917 01:14:39,201 --> 01:14:42,571 Don't be stupid! You bring the bottles from home? 918 01:14:43,201 --> 01:14:45,251 we'll take 3 "scotch", please. 919 01:14:46,441 --> 01:14:47,480 What do we drink, Calboni? 920 01:14:47,481 --> 01:14:48,484 Three "scotch". 921 01:14:48,685 --> 01:14:49,721 I meanwhile ... 922 01:14:49,821 --> 01:14:50,861 "Scotch"... 923 01:14:53,641 --> 01:14:54,281 Yes? 924 01:14:54,701 --> 01:14:58,521 Lady Ten, Will you grant an appointment, say ... 925 01:14:58,522 --> 01:15:02,521 on the dancefloor, say in 5 seconds? 926 01:15:02,551 --> 01:15:04,051 - Ok. - see you soon. 927 01:15:05,761 --> 01:15:08,531 You see? C'mon, try it yourselves. 928 01:15:10,941 --> 01:15:14,891 Thank you, Countess. Thank you, dear. So beautiful! 929 01:15:15,511 --> 01:15:17,511 So? Will you choose. 930 01:15:17,581 --> 01:15:18,951 - Me? - S�. 931 01:15:20,381 --> 01:15:23,040 Filini, n.3 is looking at us... 932 01:15:23,181 --> 01:15:24,351 N. 1 too! 933 01:15:25,911 --> 01:15:26,841 And n. 5! 934 01:15:27,541 --> 01:15:30,411 Accountant, they are all watching us. 935 01:15:30,551 --> 01:15:32,471 Accountant, say a number. 936 01:15:32,611 --> 01:15:33,846 - Me. - S�. 937 01:15:34,081 --> 01:15:35,810 Ah, ah, ah... 180! 938 01:15:36,011 --> 01:15:38,521 Too much, they're only 12! 939 01:15:40,571 --> 01:15:42,921 Eh, I like n.5... 940 01:15:43,091 --> 01:15:45,534 Damn, I like n. 5 too! 941 01:15:45,535 --> 01:15:47,971 - You can have her! - No, no, no, she's yours. 942 01:15:47,972 --> 01:15:50,151 No please! Go on. 943 01:15:53,640 --> 01:15:55,591 - Stay calm. - I've got sweatty hands. 944 01:15:55,951 --> 01:15:58,040 Here! I make the number. 945 01:15:58,349 --> 01:16:01,029 Gypsy Violins on the dancefloor. 946 01:16:01,848 --> 01:16:02,848 Miss, if only ... 947 01:16:03,948 --> 01:16:05,048 I had the chance ... 948 01:16:07,148 --> 01:16:08,348 To find... 949 01:16:09,748 --> 01:16:12,991 A person that can understand me, I could do anything... 950 01:16:13,829 --> 01:16:17,319 - how is it going with yours? - She's a bit tall... 951 01:16:17,989 --> 01:16:20,969 Better. I think they are ready to come by you. 952 01:16:20,970 --> 01:16:22,589 Do you think so? 953 01:16:24,239 --> 01:16:27,009 Bravo! Bravo! Thank you guys! 954 01:16:27,269 --> 01:16:28,909 Good night, let's go. 955 01:16:31,089 --> 01:16:32,649 - The bill, sir... - S�. 956 01:16:35,559 --> 01:16:36,949 Good, put everything on my account... 957 01:16:37,949 --> 01:16:38,689 What account? 958 01:16:40,029 --> 01:16:41,009 Well, send it to my place... 959 01:16:41,549 --> 01:16:42,739 What place? 960 01:16:43,959 --> 01:16:45,830 They will settle for now. We'll calculate later the shares. 961 01:16:45,831 --> 01:16:48,249 - In the meantime I talk to the girls. - Are you going to settle this? 962 01:16:49,919 --> 01:16:50,979 Ah, sorry. 963 01:17:00,029 --> 01:17:01,299 Excuse me... 964 01:17:06,086 --> 01:17:08,459 �649 thousand liras... 965 01:17:09,279 --> 01:17:11,479 Plus 18% service cost. 966 01:17:12,778 --> 01:17:15,629 Four years of sacrifices. 967 01:17:20,439 --> 01:17:25,539 In addition, finally Calboni dropped the mask about the "ladies". 968 01:17:26,879 --> 01:17:30,389 I arranged for 50,000 liras per girl. A good deal, right? 969 01:17:31,519 --> 01:17:33,299 Do you want money? 970 01:17:33,369 --> 01:17:36,209 Why? How much is left in the Box? 971 01:17:36,869 --> 01:17:39,809 With Filini's 8000 liras we have... 972 01:17:40,239 --> 01:17:43,689 - 52000 liras. - Damn! It's enough only for mine. 973 01:17:43,799 --> 01:17:45,909 pok, give them here. my one wants her money in advance. 974 01:17:47,929 --> 01:17:50,259 Sorry about that, they are 2 trashy good for nothing. 975 01:17:50,439 --> 01:17:52,149 C'mon,Let's go. Taxi! 976 01:17:52,729 --> 01:17:55,209 How do you call a taxi here? Taxi! 977 01:17:55,709 --> 01:17:57,569 this time he ordered 9 taxi 978 01:17:58,129 --> 01:18:00,559 In average, 2 and 1/4 per person. 979 01:18:13,189 --> 01:18:14,628 - Calboni! - Settle the bill please, 980 01:18:14,629 --> 01:18:17,388 - ...We'll settle ourselves later. - But how? I haven't got anything... 981 01:18:17,429 --> 01:18:19,019 Who's going to settle here? Calboni! 982 01:18:19,169 --> 01:18:22,919 - I do not have a ... - Who is going to pay here? 983 01:18:22,979 --> 01:18:24,259 Wait a minute. 984 01:18:24,760 --> 01:18:25,699 Filini! 985 01:18:25,719 --> 01:18:26,999 Say, Accountant! 986 01:18:28,052 --> 01:18:30,482 - Please fix the bill! - Me? 987 01:18:30,512 --> 01:18:33,245 yeah, we'll settle between ourselves later. 988 01:18:33,257 --> 01:18:34,212 What do I do? 989 01:18:34,222 --> 01:18:37,248 Accountant Fantozzi, don't leave me like this! 990 01:18:37,249 --> 01:18:40,152 Filini spent the rest of the night in first aid ... 991 01:18:40,307 --> 01:18:42,814 At Our Immaculate Lady Hospital. 992 01:18:49,132 --> 01:18:52,612 Fantozzi instead spent the night in the foyer of his home. 993 01:19:02,302 --> 01:19:05,582 It's 7:00!. Pina, coffee, the newspaper, the mail! 994 01:19:06,422 --> 01:19:08,572 Good morning, Ms. Silvani of Calboni ... 995 01:19:08,772 --> 01:19:11,162 - What brings you h... - Where is my husband? 996 01:19:15,392 --> 01:19:16,702 I haven't understood the question. 997 01:19:16,732 --> 01:19:18,512 Where's that pig? 998 01:19:18,892 --> 01:19:20,712 - Surveyor Calboni? - Exactly. 999 01:19:21,392 --> 01:19:26,342 Surveyor Calboni has... taken a detour and went away. 1000 01:19:27,062 --> 01:19:30,212 How good And what were you doing lying here like a watchdog? 1001 01:19:30,642 --> 01:19:33,852 Oh, every Saturday it's my turn... 1002 01:19:34,032 --> 01:19:38,492 - Here in the condo, lots are drawn ... - Do not be a clown, Fantozzi! 1003 01:19:38,932 --> 01:19:40,602 You know very well he is with a woman! 1004 01:19:40,952 --> 01:19:45,152 And you are covering him! you pimp, scoundrel! 1005 01:19:46,922 --> 01:19:51,673 "Fantocci", don't be a clown, open this door! 1006 01:19:52,152 --> 01:19:53,812 ...I don't have the keys. 1007 01:19:54,402 --> 01:19:55,412 How, is this not your place? 1008 01:19:55,562 --> 01:19:59,272 This? No, this... eh... I... 1009 01:20:00,148 --> 01:20:02,452 He locked himself in. 1010 01:20:05,792 --> 01:20:07,732 - Pig! - You're a pig, Calboni! 1011 01:20:08,012 --> 01:20:10,742 You made her cry! Open! 1012 01:20:11,322 --> 01:20:12,882 ...made her cry. Pig! 1013 01:20:14,523 --> 01:20:16,002 - "Fantocci"... - Fantozzi... 1014 01:20:16,632 --> 01:20:17,752 - "Fantocci"... - "Fantocci"... 1015 01:20:17,932 --> 01:20:22,622 "Fantocci", be a man, and break that door down. 1016 01:20:25,032 --> 01:20:26,232 I break it down... 1017 01:20:30,352 --> 01:20:33,592 It did not work. I try again. 1018 01:20:36,452 --> 01:20:38,452 - What are you doing? - The door is new. 1019 01:20:38,672 --> 01:20:41,162 Push it properly. Let's go over there. 1020 01:20:41,342 --> 01:20:42,542 - Give it a good push. - S�. 1021 01:20:43,882 --> 01:20:47,669 Take career as a gazelle. Well, well. Attack as a battering ram. 1022 01:20:47,702 --> 01:20:48,782 Like this... 1023 01:20:51,702 --> 01:20:52,562 Banzai! 1024 01:20:53,712 --> 01:20:54,982 Yeah, I'm coming... 1025 01:21:02,422 --> 01:21:06,192 He had fallen squarely on bus n. 77 from 5:26 am... 1026 01:21:06,822 --> 01:21:09,912 Which brought him back home at 6:13, 1027 01:21:10,262 --> 01:21:13,492 after a tour of the city. 1028 01:21:22,572 --> 01:21:23,572 Pig! 1029 01:21:24,972 --> 01:21:26,282 Ah, it's you Fantozzi? 1030 01:21:26,802 --> 01:21:28,282 I thought that pig had come back. 1031 01:21:29,002 --> 01:21:31,252 Also, you come in like that, without warning... 1032 01:21:31,292 --> 01:21:33,252 Forgive me, I did not want to frighten you. 1033 01:21:33,812 --> 01:21:36,082 Why do you make that face? I did not kill you. 1034 01:21:36,162 --> 01:21:37,152 It was very light. 1035 01:21:37,222 --> 01:21:38,995 Yes, that's because it was a vase of "blown" 1036 01:21:39,007 --> 01:21:40,792 glass from Murano, my wife's, very valuable. 1037 01:21:41,102 --> 01:21:43,512 But don't worry, we have 2 of them. 1038 01:21:43,902 --> 01:21:45,032 Ms Silvani de Calboni. 1039 01:21:45,442 --> 01:21:47,502 Don't call me like this, I don't want to hear his name! 1040 01:21:47,592 --> 01:21:49,217 I will not do that again, 1041 01:21:49,252 --> 01:21:51,152 But this is the last... 1042 01:21:51,342 --> 01:21:54,012 it's better I put it somewhere safe. Sorry, ms. 1043 01:21:56,802 --> 01:21:58,512 Fortunately it's safe... 1044 01:22:03,312 --> 01:22:04,542 So now can I call you again... 1045 01:22:04,962 --> 01:22:07,672 Miss Silvani... 1046 01:22:07,962 --> 01:22:08,832 like the good old times? 1047 01:22:09,342 --> 01:22:10,502 - Do you know what he did? - No. 1048 01:22:10,522 --> 01:22:12,852 Do you know? Not only he cheated on me. 1049 01:22:13,012 --> 01:22:14,702 But he fled like a coward, 1050 01:22:14,722 --> 01:22:16,052 And he left me there with that energumena. 1051 01:22:16,302 --> 01:22:17,442 Do you know what she did? 1052 01:22:17,732 --> 01:22:19,802 She broke the umbrella on my head! 1053 01:22:20,202 --> 01:22:22,552 I know, it was my wife's umbrella. The only. 1054 01:22:23,422 --> 01:22:25,392 But this has been the drop that broke the vase. 1055 01:22:25,482 --> 01:22:28,152 There are no more vases! Oh, I thought... 1056 01:22:28,232 --> 01:22:31,282 that you had a modern marriage, and happy. 1057 01:22:32,212 --> 01:22:33,692 It has been the biggest mistake of my life. 1058 01:22:35,892 --> 01:22:36,932 A tragedy! 1059 01:22:37,712 --> 01:22:39,532 - A fiasco! - Miss! 1060 01:22:40,538 --> 01:22:41,840 Miss! 1061 01:22:42,852 --> 01:22:43,802 what are you doing? 1062 01:22:45,232 --> 01:22:46,652 I... was kissing the hand. 1063 01:22:48,102 --> 01:22:50,605 Fortunately I' m still young, and beautiful, 1064 01:22:50,606 --> 01:22:51,672 to build my life again. 1065 01:22:51,752 --> 01:22:53,352 You are very beautiful. 1066 01:22:53,402 --> 01:22:55,732 Enough! You know what I' ll do? 1067 01:22:55,733 --> 01:22:58,392 - No. - I' m going to sleep at the hotel! 1068 01:22:58,472 --> 01:22:59,862 - Bravo! - You know what else? 1069 01:23:00,202 --> 01:23:01,848 I' ll leave my job, get my liquidation. And I 1070 01:23:01,860 --> 01:23:03,482 will run away with the first one passing by. 1071 01:23:03,642 --> 01:23:05,312 what...Why...? 1072 01:23:05,382 --> 01:23:06,362 What are you saying? 1073 01:23:06,542 --> 01:23:08,302 Why with the first one passing by? 1074 01:23:09,162 --> 01:23:09,722 Miss... 1075 01:23:11,112 --> 01:23:12,842 I' m also tired of this life. 1076 01:23:13,402 --> 01:23:15,282 I can also take my liquidation. 1077 01:23:15,463 --> 01:23:18,272 I' m also young and pleasant enough... 1078 01:23:21,892 --> 01:23:24,282 Miss, I need only a word from you. 1079 01:23:24,632 --> 01:23:26,282 not even that, 1080 01:23:26,442 --> 01:23:28,192 because silence meas consent. 1081 01:23:28,482 --> 01:23:30,702 Miss, let me hug you! 1082 01:23:35,782 --> 01:23:39,622 This time was n. 102 that goes around the hills. 1083 01:23:39,712 --> 01:23:43,164 So Fantozzi had all the time to make a list... 1084 01:23:43,165 --> 01:23:45,838 of all possible solutions for their new life. 1085 01:23:46,244 --> 01:23:49,367 ""Croupier" in Casablanca, drummer in Harlem, 1086 01:23:49,368 --> 01:23:54,260 hippie in Nepal. At the end, he left the choice... 1087 01:23:54,552 --> 01:23:55,682 To his companion. 1088 01:23:56,442 --> 01:23:58,082 - let' s go to Capri. - What for? 1089 01:23:58,542 --> 01:23:59,702 As a honeymoon. 1090 01:24:00,972 --> 01:24:02,192 Then we'll see. 1091 01:24:04,362 --> 01:24:06,982 Accountant, what are you doing! Get a move! 1092 01:24:07,732 --> 01:24:10,504 It was the last card of his life. 1093 01:24:10,772 --> 01:24:15,058 Fantozzi, marked it with indifference. As always. 1094 01:24:24,862 --> 01:24:28,173 With the same style, trying not to show ... 1095 01:24:28,174 --> 01:24:32,362 Any emotion, he had the last meal with his family. 1096 01:24:45,272 --> 01:24:46,472 Well... 1097 01:24:48,272 --> 01:24:50,682 I' m going... 1098 01:24:50,772 --> 01:24:52,202 To buy cigarettes... 1099 01:24:56,972 --> 01:24:58,182 S�, Ugo. 1100 01:24:58,432 --> 01:24:59,802 No, don' t... 1101 01:25:04,102 --> 01:25:07,082 - Ill be back, Straight away. - S�. 1102 01:25:11,602 --> 01:25:13,472 Cigarettes? But dad does not smoke! 1103 01:25:15,252 --> 01:25:17,302 he has decided to try. 1104 01:25:17,782 --> 01:25:18,952 Hopefully he' ll stop soon... 1105 01:25:33,892 --> 01:25:36,602 Miss, imagine that in eleven hours ... 1106 01:25:37,003 --> 01:25:38,782 11 hours and 40 minutes, at the most, 1107 01:25:39,192 --> 01:25:40,832 We' ll be in Naples. 1108 01:25:41,762 --> 01:25:44,822 When I went there on honeymoon, It took only an hour and twenty ... 1109 01:25:45,322 --> 01:25:47,702 In a Mercedes Spider 2800. 1110 01:25:48,152 --> 01:25:51,062 Because Calboni is what will be, but knows a lot about cars. 1111 01:25:51,762 --> 01:25:54,392 Why, with Calboni went Honeymoon ... 1112 01:25:54,822 --> 01:25:55,642 In Capri? 1113 01:25:56,642 --> 01:25:58,032 Why? Where it' s good to go on honeymoon? 1114 01:26:00,902 --> 01:26:03,381 I don' t know... We could have gone to Venice! 1115 01:26:04,012 --> 01:26:05,972 Venice is so obvious... 1116 01:26:06,422 --> 01:26:09,192 It does not matter... what matters is... 1117 01:26:09,332 --> 01:26:11,162 To break with one' s past. 1118 01:26:11,182 --> 01:26:13,742 No, the important thing is arrive in time to last ferry. 1119 01:26:15,792 --> 01:26:17,632 Hurry, Fantozzi! 1120 01:26:17,732 --> 01:26:18,932 Be quick! 1121 01:26:19,312 --> 01:26:21,502 move the wheel! 1122 01:26:22,522 --> 01:26:23,932 faster! 1123 01:26:25,082 --> 01:26:26,822 Brake! Brake! 1124 01:26:27,662 --> 01:26:28,462 Brake! 1125 01:26:35,292 --> 01:26:37,032 Calboni is what will be, 1126 01:26:37,132 --> 01:26:39,142 but the day I came here with him, The day was superb! 1127 01:26:39,342 --> 01:26:40,902 The heat was like in Africa! 1128 01:26:42,012 --> 01:26:43,892 Ok, But Miss... 1129 01:26:44,512 --> 01:26:46,532 that was in July... 1130 01:26:47,292 --> 01:26:49,242 Today it' s the 20th of December. 1131 01:26:51,802 --> 01:26:54,672 I bet Calbonidid not even suffer dizziness... 1132 01:26:55,052 --> 01:26:57,532 You can say what you want about Calboni ... 1133 01:26:57,802 --> 01:26:59,682 but he endure sea as a battleship. 1134 01:27:02,562 --> 01:27:04,242 Don't tell me you' re going to throw up?! 1135 01:27:04,512 --> 01:27:05,602 No, no, no! I... 1136 01:27:05,982 --> 01:27:07,822 I am an aircraft carrier. An aircraft carrier! 1137 01:27:08,172 --> 01:27:09,352 An aircraft carrier! 1138 01:27:12,112 --> 01:27:12,922 Excuse me. 1139 01:27:16,692 --> 01:27:19,182 Man overboard! Man overboard! 1140 01:27:29,062 --> 01:27:30,402 To overcome Calboni, 1141 01:27:30,662 --> 01:27:33,822 Fantozzi chose the most luxurious hotel in Capri. 1142 01:27:34,422 --> 01:27:37,122 Also because, it was the only one open during winter. 1143 01:27:40,032 --> 01:27:41,972 - The bags, please. - Who is it? 1144 01:27:42,392 --> 01:27:43,912 - The bags! - Take these hands ... 1145 01:27:44,312 --> 01:27:46,492 Scoundrel! Bastard! 1146 01:27:46,694 --> 01:27:49,198 - Thief! - Give me back my stuff! 1147 01:27:53,302 --> 01:27:54,927 Excuse sorry ... 1148 01:27:54,962 --> 01:27:56,512 How violent you become with subordinates, Fantozzi. 1149 01:27:56,982 --> 01:27:59,622 i go to sit down, You go to the reception. 1150 01:27:59,992 --> 01:28:00,902 At your service, ma'am. 1151 01:28:05,542 --> 01:28:07,292 Good morning, sorry ... 1152 01:28:07,792 --> 01:28:10,892 Do you happen to have a Single Room for two? 1153 01:28:11,752 --> 01:28:13,102 We only have apartments sir. 1154 01:28:15,582 --> 01:28:16,862 How much? 1155 01:28:17,312 --> 01:28:18,882 - 60000. - Not more? 1156 01:28:18,982 --> 01:28:20,852 Fantozzi thought he meant 60000 per month. 1157 01:28:21,932 --> 01:28:23,352 We are in low season, sir. 1158 01:28:24,012 --> 01:28:27,012 The suite with sea view costs 80,000, sir. 1159 01:28:28,432 --> 01:28:30,952 Sir, if you want something special, we have the royal suite... 1160 01:28:30,962 --> 01:28:31,732 100 thousand. 1161 01:28:32,152 --> 01:28:34,362 - I take it! It' s mine! - Very well. 1162 01:28:34,602 --> 01:28:35,832 Do not give it away. 1163 01:28:39,102 --> 01:28:42,352 Now I give you my documents... Passport... 1164 01:28:42,802 --> 01:28:44,552 Of Ms... of Miss. 1165 01:28:47,392 --> 01:28:50,792 - I pay now. - Please afterward. After. 1166 01:28:50,842 --> 01:28:52,552 - Accompany him. - Payment after? 1167 01:28:52,622 --> 01:28:54,442 - Please. - Thanks. 1168 01:28:55,612 --> 01:28:57,562 - No problem. - Is the key? 1169 01:28:58,502 --> 01:29:02,172 An apartment like this per 100000, is worthy of the "Arabian Nights". 1170 01:29:02,652 --> 01:29:04,132 No big deal. 1171 01:29:04,412 --> 01:29:06,642 - This is the bedroom. - Not bad. 1172 01:29:07,202 --> 01:29:09,032 - With 2 bathrooms. - Of course. 1173 01:29:10,512 --> 01:29:12,622 It' s almost vulgar... 1174 01:29:18,052 --> 01:29:19,242 What happens? 1175 01:29:19,922 --> 01:29:21,302 - La llave en el pie... - Bien. 1176 01:29:21,452 --> 01:29:23,885 - The key in the foot ... - Well. 1177 01:29:23,886 --> 01:29:25,922 For dinner would you like the salon, or do you prefer to have it served here? 1178 01:29:26,312 --> 01:29:29,332 Here, with candlelight! An intimate dinner in the bedroom. 1179 01:29:29,782 --> 01:29:31,752 No, look, for me neither here or downstairs .. 1180 01:29:31,787 --> 01:29:33,782 I could not eat a caper tonight. 1181 01:29:34,212 --> 01:29:37,072 My only dream is to be inside this bed. 1182 01:29:37,792 --> 01:29:39,282 In the bed? No capers, 1183 01:29:39,283 --> 01:29:42,328 I don' t want them either! Go away! 1184 01:29:43,202 --> 01:29:44,637 Miss... 1185 01:29:46,872 --> 01:29:49,322 Ugo Fantozzi, What got into your head? 1186 01:29:49,552 --> 01:29:51,522 - What? - Calboni was who he was... 1187 01:29:51,962 --> 01:29:53,688 but to be gentle, on the first night... 1188 01:29:53,689 --> 01:29:56,002 he slept in a different room. Do you want to do less than him? 1189 01:29:56,092 --> 01:29:57,672 S�. I meant, no! 1190 01:29:57,752 --> 01:29:59,822 - Then go to sleep in a different room - S�. 1191 01:30:00,262 --> 01:30:02,122 - Go, understood? - S�. 1192 01:30:03,112 --> 01:30:05,582 Good night. 1193 01:30:14,122 --> 01:30:16,722 - What do you want now? - ... My hand! 1194 01:30:16,822 --> 01:30:19,962 - What? - I left my hand... 1195 01:30:20,392 --> 01:30:21,502 In the room! 1196 01:30:22,482 --> 01:30:23,818 But I can leave it there tonight... 1197 01:30:23,819 --> 01:30:26,642 No, take it back. 1198 01:30:26,732 --> 01:30:28,392 And do not bother me anymore! 1199 01:30:29,582 --> 01:30:34,252 First day, in the morning. Tragic "shopping" to find the... 1200 01:30:34,712 --> 01:30:38,412 Caprese fisherman clogs, that looked very good on Calboni. 1201 01:30:39,332 --> 01:30:41,022 I love them! 1202 01:30:41,332 --> 01:30:43,412 You look unsure. Can you walk with them? 1203 01:30:43,662 --> 01:30:47,012 S�, s�, Miss, I can walk quite well. 1204 01:30:48,522 --> 01:30:50,432 Nearly as... 1205 01:30:50,622 --> 01:30:52,282 Fucking hell! 1206 01:31:23,651 --> 01:31:25,655 How are you doing? 1207 01:31:26,602 --> 01:31:28,812 Well! Very well! 1208 01:31:43,252 --> 01:31:44,312 Fantozzi! 1209 01:31:44,952 --> 01:31:47,092 Why not enter between the Strait cliffs? 1210 01:31:47,242 --> 01:31:48,642 Always did that! 1211 01:32:21,412 --> 01:32:22,552 Is this yours? 1212 01:32:23,152 --> 01:32:25,352 Yes, bring it to the Royal suite. 1213 01:32:32,222 --> 01:32:35,062 What? Where am I? 1214 01:32:37,192 --> 01:32:38,982 Oh, in the bedroom!. 1215 01:32:39,422 --> 01:32:40,812 - Miss! - yes! 1216 01:32:41,122 --> 01:32:42,552 - Where are you? - Here. 1217 01:32:42,922 --> 01:32:43,887 How are you doing? 1218 01:32:43,922 --> 01:32:45,272 Painting my lips. 1219 01:32:45,312 --> 01:32:46,452 Pin in the lips? 1220 01:32:46,542 --> 01:32:48,642 No, Fantozzi. Painting my lips. 1221 01:32:51,022 --> 01:32:52,452 Miss... 1222 01:32:52,612 --> 01:32:54,762 But I slept... Good morning... 1223 01:32:55,502 --> 01:32:58,632 In the bedroom? 1224 01:32:58,802 --> 01:33:00,402 - S�, s�. - How come? 1225 01:33:00,622 --> 01:33:01,912 S�, Fantozzi. 1226 01:33:03,122 --> 01:33:04,632 - What? - Everything. 1227 01:33:05,052 --> 01:33:08,312 - What!? - We did everything, Fantozzi. 1228 01:33:08,762 --> 01:33:09,982 miss... 1229 01:33:10,072 --> 01:33:12,392 I feel like angels singing. 1230 01:33:13,712 --> 01:33:16,052 always a poet, Fantozzi. 1231 01:33:18,222 --> 01:33:19,957 But Miss, I... 1232 01:33:19,992 --> 01:33:22,852 Do not remember anything... 1233 01:33:23,302 --> 01:33:24,472 That' s better, Fantozzi. 1234 01:33:25,232 --> 01:33:28,312 C'mon.was what he was... 1235 01:33:28,692 --> 01:33:30,122 But at this time he was in the pool. 1236 01:33:30,812 --> 01:33:32,167 Let' s go. 1237 01:33:32,902 --> 01:33:34,232 At the pool then. 1238 01:33:40,242 --> 01:33:42,752 Miss, now a bath, in memory of Calboni! 1239 01:33:43,442 --> 01:33:45,312 Waiter apologize, How's the pool's water? 1240 01:33:45,552 --> 01:33:46,442 What water!? 1241 01:33:53,122 --> 01:33:55,052 �Fantozzi! What do you do? 1242 01:33:55,322 --> 01:34:02,082 Come, Miss, do not be afraid. It's low, I feel the bottom. 1243 01:34:02,892 --> 01:34:06,102 Towards evening, Fantozzi attempted a desperate revenge. 1244 01:34:06,632 --> 01:34:08,252 I hear the sea! 1245 01:34:09,472 --> 01:34:11,212 You hear it and I'm there, 1246 01:34:11,412 --> 01:34:13,472 Because a dive like this... 1247 01:34:13,562 --> 01:34:16,242 Acapulco style, I' m sure Calboni did not do it. 1248 01:34:17,032 --> 01:34:19,472 Is it not too high for you? 1249 01:34:22,142 --> 01:34:24,518 Don' t worry Miss. There' s a boat down there... 1250 01:34:24,519 --> 01:34:26,352 Waiting in case... Here I go! 1251 01:34:27,742 --> 01:34:29,042 Virgin of the divers... 1252 01:34:48,112 --> 01:34:49,882 I see you've had a beautiful day ... 1253 01:35:03,082 --> 01:35:04,772 But this is my clothes. 1254 01:35:05,472 --> 01:35:08,272 And these shoes? 1255 01:35:08,752 --> 01:35:11,422 Sorry whose are those shoes? 1256 01:35:11,642 --> 01:35:15,152 Husband of Mrs... he came to spend the holidays with her. 1257 01:36:31,684 --> 01:36:33,014 they are already celebrating. 1258 01:35:17,782 --> 01:35:19,793 Already.. celebrating... 1259 01:35:19,864 --> 01:35:22,265 How long did it take for you to come! 1260 01:35:22,566 --> 01:35:25,362 Ya no aguantaba m�s. Chin-chin, my love. 1261 01:35:25,882 --> 01:35:28,429 Si, si, chin-chin, chin-chin. But swear... 1262 01:35:28,430 --> 01:35:30,392 That cockroach never touched you. 1263 01:35:30,842 --> 01:35:32,652 But of course I swear! 1264 01:35:33,302 --> 01:35:36,412 He believes I did let him. He fell for it like an idiot. 1265 01:35:36,742 --> 01:35:37,992 I pity him. 1266 01:35:47,442 --> 01:35:50,642 "Repairing the bottom of the pool, Mayor Penon arrangement ... 1267 01:35:50,702 --> 01:35:52,182 Compensation... 1268 01:35:53,092 --> 01:35:55,872 damages to the premises of the square by destruction of relics ... 1269 01:35:56,022 --> 01:35:58,642 four orderlies services, one recovery room ... 1270 01:35:59,002 --> 01:36:00,952 almost new boat completely destroyed ... 1271 01:36:01,002 --> 01:36:04,766 Accommodation of Ms and mr Calbony till Epiphany. 1272 01:36:05,872 --> 01:36:07,472 Will you pay cash? 1273 01:36:10,922 --> 01:36:12,097 promissory notes! 1274 01:36:12,132 --> 01:36:16,412 They were akilo and 250 grams, to be paid in 3 months. 1275 01:36:17,842 --> 01:36:20,632 Fantozzi signed them with icy indifference. 1276 01:36:21,052 --> 01:36:24,312 As he had already decided to kill himself... 1277 01:36:24,322 --> 01:36:26,112 Jumping from Thiberius cliff. 1278 01:36:45,652 --> 01:36:48,782 He had been fished by a fishing boat from Torre Anunziata... 1279 01:36:49,432 --> 01:36:52,130 re-sold him to "Findus" and offered for sale... 1280 01:36:52,131 --> 01:36:53,722 As frozen bass . 1281 01:36:58,232 --> 01:36:59,562 Merry Christmas, ma'am. What do you want? 1282 01:36:59,622 --> 01:37:03,312 - Merry Christmas. I want that. - That one? 1283 01:37:03,822 --> 01:37:04,792 Two good slices? 1284 01:37:04,932 --> 01:37:07,172 �No, no, no! I want it whole. 1285 01:37:07,674 --> 01:37:09,077 All of it! 1286 01:37:10,042 --> 01:37:11,082 How much is by Kg? 1287 01:37:29,412 --> 01:37:30,552 Ugo... 1288 01:37:31,442 --> 01:37:32,612 You' ll see, everything will get better. 1289 01:37:34,202 --> 01:37:36,432 Also at the Office. 1290 01:37:37,332 --> 01:37:38,522 And if not, it does not matter. 1291 01:37:39,202 --> 01:37:40,432 The only thing that matters, is that you love us. 1292 01:37:43,032 --> 01:37:44,102 Do you love us? 1293 01:37:44,842 --> 01:37:46,052 Do you love us, dad? 1294 01:37:51,722 --> 01:37:53,082 Ok, at the end... 1295 01:37:53,742 --> 01:37:54,932 Who cares! 1296 01:37:57,192 --> 01:37:58,072 Oh God! 1297 01:37:58,762 --> 01:38:00,022 Ugo, are you hurt? 1298 01:38:02,262 --> 01:38:03,782 Ugo, My love. 1299 01:38:11,182 --> 01:38:12,952 Buon natale! 1300 01:38:23,002 --> 01:38:25,902 Hello? Yes, it' s me. Who' s there? 1301 01:38:27,872 --> 01:38:28,522 Who? 1302 01:38:29,852 --> 01:38:31,172 Is this a joke? 1303 01:38:31,592 --> 01:38:32,462 It wasn't. 1304 01:38:32,672 --> 01:38:36,542 It was really the Mega Galactic President himself. 1305 01:38:36,952 --> 01:38:39,142 Dear Fantozzi, First of all, Happy Christmas. 1306 01:38:39,582 --> 01:38:42,112 I have before me your request for readmission and his file. 1307 01:38:42,892 --> 01:38:45,898 Sorry if I disturb the privacy of your home on this holy night ... 1308 01:38:45,899 --> 01:38:49,253 but I spend here in my office, because for me work ... 1309 01:38:49,255 --> 01:38:50,262 is a prayer. 1310 01:38:50,763 --> 01:38:52,542 I need to talk to you for a moment. 1311 01:38:52,972 --> 01:38:54,512 Sit down and listen. 1312 01:39:16,342 --> 01:39:18,072 So, dear fantozzi, do you accept? 1313 01:39:19,960 --> 01:39:22,592 Fantozzi, are you here? 1314 01:39:23,082 --> 01:39:25,612 - I' ll accept anything! - But how? 1315 01:39:25,702 --> 01:39:27,622 You haven't even heard what I said. 1316 01:39:28,092 --> 01:39:29,482 I accept anything! 1317 01:39:29,562 --> 01:39:31,782 I surrender unconditionally! 1318 01:39:33,522 --> 01:39:36,972 Then come, Fantozzi dear... 1319 01:39:37,822 --> 01:39:39,692 What? Are you afraid? 1320 01:39:40,102 --> 01:39:41,662 But we love you so much. 1321 01:39:41,962 --> 01:39:44,382 That' s why I am afraid... 1349 1322 01:39:48,002 --> 01:39:50,212 Let's kill the fat calf! 1323 01:39:50,282 --> 01:39:51,202 Me? 1324 01:39:51,632 --> 01:39:54,762 No, you are the prodigal son. 1325 01:39:55,272 --> 01:39:59,102 the lost sheep who came back to our corral. 1326 01:40:00,112 --> 01:40:02,912 We say, welcome back. 1327 01:40:03,152 --> 01:40:04,982 thanks, will, you take me back? 1328 01:40:05,032 --> 01:40:05,972 Of course! 1329 01:40:06,362 --> 01:40:08,152 My old position? 1330 01:40:08,892 --> 01:40:11,492 No, we cannot do that. 1359 1331 01:40:15,122 --> 01:40:16,632 - Meaning? - That is, 1332 01:40:16,752 --> 01:40:18,332 Apart from our forgiveness... 1333 01:40:18,532 --> 01:40:22,602 we offer you the purifying joy of earning your position. 1334 01:40:23,382 --> 01:40:29,157 You' ll start from the lower step, 1335 01:40:29,402 --> 01:40:32,733 we take you back as lightning rod... 1336 01:40:32,734 --> 01:40:35,457 ...lightning. 1337 01:40:36,622 --> 01:40:39,132 Fantozzi! Fantozzi! 1338 01:40:39,642 --> 01:40:41,542 I wish you a good work! 1339 01:40:41,682 --> 01:40:43,232 Dear Accountant! 1340 01:40:43,952 --> 01:40:46,442 And I recommend: Don' t be sad. 1341 01:40:47,062 --> 01:40:50,752 Laugh!. Laugh! Work is bliss. 1342 01:40:50,853 --> 01:40:53,058 Work is happiness! 1343 01:40:54,412 --> 01:40:56,832 That's it. So! 1344 01:40:59,544 --> 01:41:01,544 Let's go to work then! 1345 01:41:03,962 --> 01:41:07,257 Bravo! Good luck, Fantozzi! 101167