Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,770 --> 00:00:05,069
This pedestrian suffers
from a terrible affliction, which
2
00:00:05,070 --> 00:00:07,129
makes the simple task of walking along the
3
00:00:07,130 --> 00:00:08,830
pavement a difficult maneuver.
4
00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:12,570
You see, this man suffers
from voiceover syndrome.
5
00:00:13,570 --> 00:00:16,170
He's so engrossed in
listening to my voiceover,
6
00:00:16,570 --> 00:00:18,790
that he fails to notice dangerous objects.
7
00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:50,789
It could have been the fastest thing on
8
00:00:50,790 --> 00:00:51,790
two legs.
9
00:00:54,850 --> 00:01:00,849
So he says to Ben Johnson, I'll race
10
00:01:00,850 --> 00:01:02,650
you to that lamppost over there.
11
00:01:03,349 --> 00:01:04,470
Right, says Ben.
12
00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:05,630
OK.
13
00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:08,069
So into the pub goes I, drags out
14
00:01:08,070 --> 00:01:09,869
yer man, Mickey Murphy, to give us the
15
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:10,870
ready, steady go.
16
00:01:11,870 --> 00:01:13,830
Ready, steady go, says he.
17
00:01:14,970 --> 00:01:17,189
Johnson's screaming
off down the road like a
18
00:01:17,190 --> 00:01:18,230
shagging banshee.
19
00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:20,930
And where am I?
20
00:01:21,650 --> 00:01:23,389
Going nowhere fast.
21
00:01:23,390 --> 00:01:26,249
With me ankle chained to the bumper of
22
00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:27,450
a Ford Cortina.
23
00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:31,710
Ben Johnson, you're a bloody cheat.
24
00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:37,289
And one day, one day you'll be found
25
00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:38,290
out.
26
00:01:39,170 --> 00:01:41,789
Though I'll not be the one to grass
27
00:01:41,790 --> 00:01:42,790
you up.
28
00:01:43,950 --> 00:01:45,729
Could have been the fastest thing on two
29
00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:46,730
legs.
30
00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:49,290
Damn pollution.
31
00:01:49,450 --> 00:01:50,869
The stuff that comes out of the bloody
32
00:01:50,870 --> 00:01:51,910
tap nowadays.
33
00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:57,409
Now me and Ron have come down here
34
00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:59,829
tonight to lay on something special for you
35
00:01:59,830 --> 00:02:00,250
people.
36
00:02:00,570 --> 00:02:02,369
And that something
special we're going to lay
37
00:02:02,370 --> 00:02:03,429
on tonight is called...
38
00:02:03,430 --> 00:02:04,130
A rubber woman.
39
00:02:04,150 --> 00:02:05,330
A feast of entertainment.
40
00:02:07,410 --> 00:02:09,810
A rubber woman is a feast of entertainment.
41
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:22,560
Norman...
42
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:25,980
What's that?
43
00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:26,620
What's what?
44
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,419
That, I mean, you let yourself go a
45
00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:30,420
bit, haven't you?
46
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,160
I certainly have not.
47
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,640
This is my empathy pouch.
48
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:35,440
Your what?
49
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:37,200
My empathy pouch.
50
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,439
It's a new idea from the States, you
51
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:39,540
see.
52
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:41,439
Yeah, when your wife's
pregnant, you wear one
53
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,440
of these and you feel empathetic with her,
54
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:43,780
yeah?
55
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,400
I hope the word is pathetic, actually.
56
00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:48,580
What's this supposed to do?
57
00:02:49,060 --> 00:02:50,459
Oh, it doesn't do anything, it's just a
58
00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:50,860
bulge.
59
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,039
You wear it and you can feel what
60
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,060
she's feeling, you know.
61
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:56,520
Fulfilled, satisfied.
62
00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:57,620
Up the duff.
63
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:01,040
My wife is with child, actually, Gareth.
64
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:02,920
I just want to share her pregnancy.
65
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,840
I want to share her pain, her anxiety.
66
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:06,160
Her maternity frogs.
67
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,599
Oh, that's it, have a good laugh at
68
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,600
me.
69
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,699
Just because I feel
really strongly about this,
70
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:15,119
I think it's rather nice that I want
71
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,860
to share her painful burden, actually.
72
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,660
Yeah, yeah, actually, yeah, you're right.
73
00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:20,480
Sorry, Norman, that.
74
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:21,900
Oh, it's all right, it's OK.
75
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,040
So what are you hoping for?
76
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:24,979
Well, we don't really mind if it's a
77
00:03:24,980 --> 00:03:25,980
boy or a girl.
78
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,120
Or a cushion.
79
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,480
Just pack it in, will you, Gareth?
80
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:37,780
Oh, sorry, Norman, but it is ridiculous.
81
00:03:40,660 --> 00:03:41,620
Do you really think so?
82
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:44,079
Yeah, yeah, you look
like Marlon Brando with
83
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,080
wind or something.
84
00:03:46,780 --> 00:03:47,940
Just take it off.
85
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,140
OK, I'll take it off under one condition.
86
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,080
OK, what's that?
87
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:53,520
You take yours off first.
88
00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:02,020
Hi.
89
00:04:09,610 --> 00:04:10,650
Thank you for coming.
90
00:04:11,370 --> 00:04:14,150
Now, we all know why we're here, yes?
91
00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:19,309
Well, we're here because we all have a
92
00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:20,649
problem that we share.
93
00:04:21,670 --> 00:04:24,049
Now, can anybody tell me what that problem
94
00:04:24,050 --> 00:04:25,050
is, yes?
95
00:04:26,870 --> 00:04:29,870
Well, the problem is, that we all share,
96
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:33,050
is the problem of
communicating with each other.
97
00:04:35,690 --> 00:04:38,709
And tonight, we're going to take the first
98
00:04:38,710 --> 00:04:43,349
step to solving that problem by talking in
99
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:46,169
a friendly and open way, using what I
100
00:04:46,170 --> 00:04:48,590
like to call our voices.
101
00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:54,010
Now, who'd like to set the ball rolling?
102
00:04:55,370 --> 00:04:56,930
It's Mary, isn't it?
103
00:04:58,690 --> 00:04:59,690
Yes.
104
00:05:01,550 --> 00:05:04,329
Now, Mary, did you relate to what I
105
00:05:04,330 --> 00:05:07,869
was saying about the problem of solving a
106
00:05:07,870 --> 00:05:09,970
problem by sharing a problem?
107
00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:16,190
Yes, Dave, I did relate.
108
00:05:17,290 --> 00:05:20,309
And I'd say your philosophy
was incredibly profound
109
00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:21,930
and well-based.
110
00:05:22,570 --> 00:05:28,549
But for myself personally,
I find pluralistic therapy
111
00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:34,070
retrogressive in that
the group, or social one,
112
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:37,849
is not at all advantageous
to certain segments
113
00:05:37,850 --> 00:05:40,150
of the class in its entirety.
114
00:05:41,390 --> 00:05:42,390
Thank you, Mary.
115
00:05:45,110 --> 00:05:47,589
Well, I'm sure we all
learnt something there
116
00:05:47,590 --> 00:05:50,610
about the problem of relating
through communication.
117
00:05:50,870 --> 00:05:54,969
You see, to me, Dave,
communicating, thereby relating
118
00:05:54,970 --> 00:05:58,869
or expressing one's
thoughts, not solely through the
119
00:05:58,870 --> 00:06:03,269
medium of sound language,
but also through identifiable
120
00:06:03,270 --> 00:06:04,389
gesture...
121
00:06:04,390 --> 00:06:04,970
Yes, thank you.
122
00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:05,970
Thank you, Mary.
123
00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:09,509
So, what is communication?
124
00:06:09,510 --> 00:06:11,590
How can I best define it?
125
00:06:11,710 --> 00:06:12,740
Well, communication...
126
00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:18,549
Communication, or relating
one's opinions, ideas, feelings to
127
00:06:18,550 --> 00:06:23,549
another, or, indeed, to engender
sympathetic mutual understanding
128
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,769
between two or more people...
129
00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:25,090
Yes, yes, yes.
130
00:06:25,090 --> 00:06:25,650
Thank you, Mary.
131
00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:26,770
Thank you.
132
00:06:29,630 --> 00:06:33,090
Communication, then, is
simply talking to each other.
133
00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:34,769
Well, not only talking
to each other, Dave...
134
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:37,090
Oh, shut your mouth, you stupid cow!
135
00:06:40,710 --> 00:06:41,710
Come on.
136
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:49,570
Well, Percy, how are you?
137
00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:51,310
Champion, George, how are thee?
138
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:53,210
Champion as well.
139
00:06:53,310 --> 00:06:55,170
Ah, well, that's champion,
then, George, eh?
140
00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,490
What have you got in your cardboard box,
141
00:06:59,570 --> 00:06:59,690
then?
142
00:07:00,370 --> 00:07:02,709
Oh, something I bought from a bloke down
143
00:07:02,710 --> 00:07:03,710
at the pub.
144
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,909
That's him for a rich
surprise tonight, that
145
00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:09,910
old bitch.
146
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,230
I bet she is.
147
00:07:12,870 --> 00:07:14,350
Where do you put the batteries, then?
148
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:19,130
Nay, nay, it's not a torch.
149
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,729
I know it's not a torch, you daft
150
00:07:24,730 --> 00:07:25,730
wazzock.
151
00:07:25,770 --> 00:07:28,009
A torch has ring on the end to
152
00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:29,010
hang up from nail.
153
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,629
What, you bought Wife Cucumber for, then?
154
00:07:31,630 --> 00:07:33,730
You going on that shift, or what?
155
00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:38,110
Nay, yon's not a cucumber.
156
00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:40,950
This is a chameleon.
157
00:07:41,930 --> 00:07:42,930
A what?
158
00:07:43,490 --> 00:07:46,129
A chameleon, one of
them funny lizards, what's
159
00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:48,429
changed its appearance
to blend in with background
160
00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:49,430
noise.
161
00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:52,910
Get away, you daft beggar.
162
00:07:52,970 --> 00:07:53,970
That's a cucumber.
163
00:07:54,590 --> 00:07:56,650
Snort, it's a chameleon.
164
00:07:57,130 --> 00:07:59,409
It just looks like a cucumber, because it's
165
00:07:59,410 --> 00:08:01,290
blending in with other veggies there, look.
166
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:05,149
So suppose, if you put it over there
167
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:07,249
with me tool kit, it would turn into
168
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:09,110
a ratchet screwdriver or something.
169
00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:11,090
Aye, I'd happen as like it would, aye.
170
00:08:11,530 --> 00:08:12,530
Well, go on, then.
171
00:08:13,570 --> 00:08:14,570
Aye, all right.
172
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,590
Percy, that is a cauliflower.
173
00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:21,970
But the old chameleon's
changed shape already, look.
174
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:26,070
This is your chameleon.
175
00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:27,910
Oh, aye.
176
00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:29,830
Right, put it over there.
177
00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:31,168
Let's see if it turns into a ratchet
178
00:08:31,169 --> 00:08:32,030
screwdriver, then.
179
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,070
Aye, all right, right.
180
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:40,590
There's not much happening.
181
00:08:40,830 --> 00:08:42,370
Give it time, give it time.
182
00:08:48,090 --> 00:08:50,629
Percy, you can wait from now till doomsday
183
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:51,350
and nothing will happen.
184
00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:52,110
You know why?
185
00:08:52,530 --> 00:08:52,890
Why?
186
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:55,390
Because it's a chuffing
cucumber, that's why.
187
00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:58,930
That bloke down pub can't be reaten proper.
188
00:08:59,050 --> 00:09:00,746
He must have thought
you were born yesterday.
189
00:09:00,770 --> 00:09:01,430
What do you mean?
190
00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:03,289
Well, when bloke sold it to you, you
191
00:09:03,290 --> 00:09:04,909
must have noticed it didn't blend in with
192
00:09:04,910 --> 00:09:05,910
out else in pub.
193
00:09:06,270 --> 00:09:07,970
No, no, that one didn't, no.
194
00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:09,690
This one did, though.
195
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:17,590
Hey, James.
196
00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:18,630
What?
197
00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:21,989
Do you think you could play cricket on
198
00:09:21,990 --> 00:09:22,590
snow?
199
00:09:22,591 --> 00:09:25,990
No, but I tried it on grass once.
200
00:09:26,210 --> 00:09:28,870
I also tried it once with smack.
201
00:09:31,810 --> 00:09:33,310
I've got a long leg.
202
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,810
I've got a short, square leg.
203
00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:43,710
The colours, the whites, the greens.
204
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,110
I'm a little wicked.
205
00:09:48,490 --> 00:09:49,490
Over.
206
00:09:59,290 --> 00:10:00,330
I'm going, mate.
207
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:01,950
Cheers.
208
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:06,689
Hey, you know how my wife said to
209
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:06,910
me?
210
00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:08,310
No, what?
211
00:10:08,430 --> 00:10:09,970
She said, you're a fat slob.
212
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:13,090
She said, you're unfit.
213
00:10:13,770 --> 00:10:14,770
She didn't.
214
00:10:14,870 --> 00:10:15,870
She did.
215
00:10:16,030 --> 00:10:19,609
I said, right, right,
fitness, right, is all
216
00:10:19,610 --> 00:10:20,670
a state of mind, like.
217
00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:21,490
You old cow.
218
00:10:21,491 --> 00:10:25,149
I said, if you think you're fit, you'll
219
00:10:25,150 --> 00:10:25,830
feel fit.
220
00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:26,550
Yeah, that's right.
221
00:10:26,650 --> 00:10:27,689
Just because you've got a bit of a
222
00:10:27,690 --> 00:10:29,470
gut on you, don't mean you're not fit,
223
00:10:29,570 --> 00:10:29,930
like, right?
224
00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:31,390
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
225
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:34,169
I said, hey, don't let this belly spilling
226
00:10:34,170 --> 00:10:36,230
over my trousers fool you, like.
227
00:10:36,690 --> 00:10:40,050
Because, like, underneath
this man the flap, right,
228
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,470
I'm a really fit bloke.
229
00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:45,730
Yeah, I know what you mean, right.
230
00:10:46,150 --> 00:10:47,329
I mean, I've had a bit of trouble
231
00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:48,190
like that myself.
232
00:10:48,191 --> 00:10:50,329
Not a lot of people know this, but
233
00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:52,149
I am one of the fittest blokes around
234
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:52,770
for my age.
235
00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:52,990
Yeah?
236
00:10:53,430 --> 00:10:54,430
How old are you?
237
00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:55,470
21.
238
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:58,810
You see, nowadays they just go by looks,
239
00:10:58,870 --> 00:10:59,110
right?
240
00:10:59,330 --> 00:11:01,049
It's what you look like that they go
241
00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:01,350
by.
242
00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:03,009
I mean, they don't look past the rolls
243
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,610
of flap to the man underneath, like.
244
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:05,730
Yeah, yeah.
245
00:11:06,590 --> 00:11:07,590
Yeah.
246
00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:11,210
Take yesterday, for example, right.
247
00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:12,590
I was running for the bus.
248
00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:15,610
I must have run, what, 20 yards, right?
249
00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:15,910
Yeah.
250
00:11:15,911 --> 00:11:18,329
Now, admittedly, the driver had to give me
251
00:11:18,330 --> 00:11:19,330
kiss of life.
252
00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:23,689
But, and here's the point, it's how quickly
253
00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:25,130
you recover that matters, right?
254
00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:25,450
Right.
255
00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,810
I mean, that's how an athlete is judged,
256
00:11:27,870 --> 00:11:28,070
right?
257
00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:29,690
How quickly he recovers.
258
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:31,890
Yeah, so how quickly did you recover then?
259
00:11:32,110 --> 00:11:32,750
Well, I was right.
260
00:11:32,810 --> 00:11:33,810
It was rain by bedtime.
261
00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:35,050
Yeah.
262
00:11:35,730 --> 00:11:36,510
I know what you mean.
263
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,070
I mean, same thing with me, right?
264
00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:38,370
Yeah.
265
00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:40,309
Last week, I dropped my wallet on the
266
00:11:40,310 --> 00:11:42,150
floor, right, bent over to pick it up.
267
00:11:42,490 --> 00:11:43,849
Well, by the fuss they made at the
268
00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:45,649
bloody hospital, you'd
have thought I'd had an
269
00:11:45,650 --> 00:11:46,650
heart attack.
270
00:11:47,030 --> 00:11:48,949
So, anyway, I says to that doctor, I
271
00:11:48,950 --> 00:11:51,949
says, right, I says,
listen, matey, even that
272
00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:54,670
Sebastian Cogies would
get spots before his eyes,
273
00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:56,249
ringing in his ears, if he bends over
274
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:57,330
a bit shabby, shall we say.
275
00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:00,089
Because you're a bit
stocky, because you're a
276
00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:01,930
bit stocky, like, people
think you're unfit.
277
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:04,390
I mean, look at Bernard Manning.
278
00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:05,709
Oh, little Bernard, eh?
279
00:12:05,710 --> 00:12:06,710
Yeah.
280
00:12:07,150 --> 00:12:09,309
I mean, he could box 15 rounds or
281
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:11,249
run a marathon if he wanted to, but
282
00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:13,170
people just think he's a fat sod.
283
00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:14,290
Yeah, yeah.
284
00:12:14,670 --> 00:12:16,670
What about old Nigel Lawson?
285
00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:18,170
Yeah.
286
00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:19,350
Yeah.
287
00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:21,790
Anyway, what do we care?
288
00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:22,390
What do we care?
289
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,129
We know that we've got
the fitness underneath
290
00:12:24,130 --> 00:12:24,950
when we need it.
291
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:27,190
We just don't bloody flaunt it, do we?
292
00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:28,610
The women love it.
293
00:12:28,710 --> 00:12:29,070
Yeah.
294
00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:30,150
Yeah, mate.
295
00:12:33,050 --> 00:12:34,050
Right.
296
00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:36,790
Fancy another pint?
297
00:12:37,070 --> 00:12:37,770
Nah, better not.
298
00:12:37,810 --> 00:12:39,130
I'm watching me figure, you know.
299
00:12:56,050 --> 00:12:58,409
So, to sum up, then, on our best
300
00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:02,089
equipment survey amongst
female tennis players, the Ace
301
00:13:02,090 --> 00:13:04,870
Racket came out the best buy at £35.
302
00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:09,949
Excel Ladies' Tennis
Shoes were the most popular
303
00:13:09,950 --> 00:13:12,450
at £29.99 a pair.
304
00:13:13,490 --> 00:13:16,410
And Mighty Atom
was right up there.
305
00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:31,400
Hello, Jennings.
306
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:34,420
You're a long way from
your patch, O 'Keeffe.
307
00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:36,860
Just a social call, Jennings.
308
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:39,880
I thought we agreed.
309
00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:43,459
Your territory's from the
herbaceous perennials to the
310
00:13:43,460 --> 00:13:44,640
Jerusalem artichokes.
311
00:13:45,380 --> 00:13:48,119
Yeah, and you control
the Scarlet Rhino beans
312
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,120
to the Savoy cabbage.
313
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,760
I know all of this, Jennings.
314
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,860
As I said, it's just a social call.
315
00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:56,479
Do you normally get tooled up for a
316
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:57,840
social call, O'Keeffe?
317
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:04,280
Well, you can't be too careful.
318
00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:08,800
The word is there's
green fly on the manor.
319
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,940
So, what do you want from me then,
O'Keeffe?
320
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,280
I want to know how to propagate begonias
321
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,060
from leaf cuttings.
322
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,760
I know nothing about begonia propagation.
323
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,600
Don't give me that crap, Jennings.
324
00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:27,559
The word is in Parker's you were number
325
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,360
one top dog begonia wax propagator.
326
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,779
In fact, the word is you could propagate
327
00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:35,819
from a single leaf at less than the
328
00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:39,440
desired temperature without
using John Innes compost.
329
00:14:42,460 --> 00:14:43,860
All right, all right.
330
00:14:45,820 --> 00:14:48,459
Maybe I do know about
propagating begonias from
331
00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:49,460
leaf cuttings.
332
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,700
What should I tell you?
333
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,760
You don't have to tell
me anything, Jennings.
334
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,579
As if you never want to see your
335
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:59,060
prize cucurbita pepper ovifera again.
336
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:03,300
All right, all right.
337
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,800
I'll tell you what you want to know.
338
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,320
Just leave my cucurbitic
eye alone, all right?
339
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,020
That's better, Jennings.
340
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,179
Now tell me what I do with a
341
00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:12,180
begonia leaf.
342
00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:14,939
Do I cut the stem with the heel
343
00:15:14,940 --> 00:15:16,920
of the parent tuber attached, or what?
344
00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:18,540
Just a minute, O'Keeffe.
345
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,600
Just a minute.
346
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,439
If I tell you what you want to
347
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,360
know, we'll send it for me.
348
00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:26,780
You're not as green as you are brassica
349
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,960
oleracea looking, are you, Jennings?
350
00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:30,820
What do you want?
351
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,839
Well, you know I'm
growing some allium super
352
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:34,840
alliaceae.
353
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,420
Yeah, I've seen them.
354
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:37,680
Nice onions.
355
00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:39,279
I want to know the best time to
356
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,160
bend the tops over them.
357
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,840
You drive a hard bargain, Jennings.
358
00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:46,560
Too hard, in fact.
359
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,539
So my advice to you, old son, is
360
00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:50,540
to watch it.
361
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,120
Watch what, O'Keeffe?
362
00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:55,740
Gardner's World, sir.
363
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,440
There's a repeat on the
television this afternoon.
364
00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:04,440
Ronnie, I never forget.
365
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,439
He's got a really good way of remembering
366
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:07,180
your face.
367
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:08,579
I rip it off and stick it in
368
00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:09,580
my wallet.
369
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:17,040
Good evening.
370
00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:19,340
Gareth and I are feeling really good today,
371
00:16:19,380 --> 00:16:19,760
aren't we, Gareth?
372
00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:20,300
Yeah, yeah.
373
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,640
We're feeling really great.
374
00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:23,799
And we're feeling really
great because we've just
375
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:24,800
been on holiday.
376
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,000
Yes.
377
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,840
They even go on holiday together.
378
00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:32,879
I go on holiday with Gareth because he's
379
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:33,880
my best friend.
380
00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:36,519
And I go on holiday with Norman because
381
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:37,520
he pays for it.
382
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,256
We had a good time, though, didn't we?
383
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,499
Yes, we did have a good time because
384
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,960
this year we went somewhere really special.
385
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:45,840
We went to Haiti.
386
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:47,540
Aloha!
387
00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:49,380
Aloha!
388
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:52,020
Haiti, not Tahiti.
389
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,560
Sorry.
390
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,599
You see, in Haiti, the high priestess of
391
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,799
voodoo makes a little doll that's meant to
392
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,080
represent somebody or other.
393
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:00,920
Yeah, that's right.
394
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,999
And while we were over there, this old
395
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,679
hag came up to me and she gave
396
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:05,680
me this doll.
397
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,720
And this one's supposed to be Norman.
398
00:17:10,540 --> 00:17:12,000
I mean, look at that.
399
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,799
A bit of old donkey hair on that
400
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:14,000
end.
401
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,319
It's close in one respect.
402
00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:19,759
And what you're supposed to do is you
403
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,199
stick a pin in the doll and it's
404
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,800
supposed to hurt the person it represents.
405
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:27,119
What a load of nonsense.
406
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:29,820
Right, so here is the doll of Norman.
407
00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:30,560
Danger.
408
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,719
And here is the pin.
409
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,820
I'm terrified.
410
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,559
And what we do is we stick the
411
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:38,040
pin in the doll like that.
412
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,440
I can't feel it.
413
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:43,259
So we stick it in here and here
414
00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:45,020
and here.
415
00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:47,500
Nothing happens.
416
00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:49,919
Even if we stick it in his jugular
417
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:50,920
like that.
418
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,720
What a load of rubbish.
419
00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:00,219
Nobody takes this voodoo stuff seriously.
420
00:18:00,220 --> 00:18:02,780
It must be completely out of their skull.
421
00:18:35,820 --> 00:18:37,260
Oh, sorry.
422
00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:41,060
Is the CD disturbing you?
423
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:42,560
No.
424
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,600
You're new here, aren't you?
425
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,100
Yes, I'm brother Andrew.
426
00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:50,700
Are you a monk?
427
00:18:51,140 --> 00:18:51,880
Oh, yes, yes.
428
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,100
I'm brother Joseph.
429
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,080
Pleased to meet you.
430
00:18:57,820 --> 00:18:58,860
What's all this?
431
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:00,560
What, this?
432
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:01,740
Oh, yes, yes.
433
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,360
I'm being punished.
434
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:05,960
Punished?
435
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:09,760
Only another six years to go.
436
00:19:11,780 --> 00:19:13,439
And then it's back to getting up at
437
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,100
four in the morning to feed the pigs.
438
00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:16,820
I tell you, I can't wait.
439
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,799
If you're being punished, how come the cell
440
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:21,880
doors always open?
441
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,200
Mental torture.
442
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,599
They expect me to sneak into that cell
443
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,339
next door with its lovely wooden bed and
444
00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:29,340
damp walls.
445
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,919
You know, sometimes I almost yield to the
446
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,159
temptation, but I have to force myself to
447
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,600
go to the pub every night instead.
448
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,200
The pub?
449
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:37,540
Yeah.
450
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:38,840
Fancy a drink?
451
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:39,860
Oh, no, I mustn't.
452
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:40,480
Thank you very much.
453
00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:41,340
Of course not, of course not.
454
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,519
I'm the one who's being punished and I've
455
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,080
got to drink this whole bottle myself.
456
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,560
I can't believe all this.
457
00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:49,340
Just look at this.
458
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,020
Look what they make me wear every night.
459
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,559
Oh, please, Janice.
460
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:57,760
Haven't I suffered enough for one day?
461
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,300
God, I wish I'd never broken the rules.
462
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:03,959
Six years they gave me, six years of
463
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,000
hard relaxation.
464
00:20:05,380 --> 00:20:07,320
I tell you, it's a living nightmare.
465
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,320
Have you thought of
appealing against the centre?
466
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,040
No.
467
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,699
I broke the rules and I deserve to
468
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:16,700
be punished.
469
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,779
Excuse me for asking, but what exactly did
470
00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:21,220
you do to deserve all this?
471
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,379
I accidentally trod on the abbot's toes.
472
00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:25,540
Abbot?
473
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:27,100
Brother Andrew.
474
00:20:28,740 --> 00:20:31,139
Don't you know that it's against the rules
475
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:33,420
to visit a brother when
he's being punished?
476
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,900
I'm not a visitor, Abbott.
477
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,300
No?
478
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:38,360
No.
479
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,760
I'm his new cellmate.
480
00:20:43,940 --> 00:20:44,520
Cigar?
481
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:45,260
Wardrobe.
482
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:46,480
All right.
483
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:54,200
Here we go.
484
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:56,380
One, two, three.
485
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:06,320
Piano plays There's so
much heartache in the
486
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,500
world.
487
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:14,359
It's touching the heart of every boy and
488
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,360
girl.
489
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,920
Let's all join together.
490
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:25,239
There's a job to be done At 63
491
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,280
Park, Mr. Wimbledon.
492
00:21:29,980 --> 00:21:32,920
Save the cats.
493
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,280
Save the cats.
494
00:21:37,340 --> 00:21:42,339
Help Mrs. Johnson's
mugging to get down from
495
00:21:42,340 --> 00:21:43,340
the tree.
496
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:49,460
Let's join our hands
together in global harmony.
497
00:21:50,460 --> 00:21:55,220
Help Mrs. Johnson's pussy to be free.
498
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:02,420
Now, Timmy was a hero around the house.
499
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:07,279
He never ran away from any rat on
500
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,540
my house.
501
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,319
He'd tease a ball of wool, drink a
502
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,179
saucer full of cream.
503
00:22:16,180 --> 00:22:20,519
In the evening, he would lick his bottom
504
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:21,520
clean.
505
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,580
Save the cats.
506
00:22:24,620 --> 00:22:27,819
Save the cats.
507
00:22:27,820 --> 00:22:29,480
Let's do it for Britain.
508
00:22:30,260 --> 00:22:34,179
There's a feline S.O.S. There's a
509
00:22:34,180 --> 00:22:36,120
sound for you and me.
510
00:22:36,620 --> 00:22:42,119
Let's join our hands
together in global harmony.
511
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:48,480
Get that pussy home to number 63 Park,
512
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:54,020
Mr. Save the cats.
513
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,240
Save the cats.
514
00:22:59,340 --> 00:23:02,120
Save the pussy.
515
00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:05,480
He saved it from the tree.
516
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:08,759
Now, Mrs. Johnson's happy.
517
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,240
And who wouldn't be?
518
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:20,700
Now, Timmy saved that number 63 Pussy.
519
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:23,560
Pussy.
520
00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:25,080
Pussy.
521
00:24:09,460 --> 00:24:12,339
Yes, we did have problems
finding sopranos for
522
00:24:12,340 --> 00:24:15,360
the church choir, but, uh, not anymore.34781
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.