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♪ Hush now child... ♪
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I mean, I'm 30,000 feet
in the air, right?
3
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:35,035
They're saying, Kevin,
come on, please.
4
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,454
Kev, you got to put
on the parachute.
5
00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:37,872
Everybody's going,
please, please, Kev.
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00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:39,540
At this point,
they're begging me.
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Tell me that
the story ends
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00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,543
with you wearing the parachute.
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00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:46,046
Absolutely not, no! No!
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No, I wanted to be authentic.
Right?
11
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,383
- It's got to be real.
- Yeah.
12
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,635
You know what Tom Cruise
calls parachutes? Diapers.
13
00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:53,387
Is that because they fill up
when you're falling?
14
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,140
No. Tom told me, he said, Kevin,
they put me in a parachute,
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00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,642
they might as well put a diaper
on me and send me to pasture.
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00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:01,103
Look, Kevin... you know,
17
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:02,938
based on the success
of the first one,
18
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:06,484
we see massive franchise
potential with The Jefferson's.
19
00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:08,569
And you know, your agent just
keeps saying that you might
20
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,404
be waffling on doing a sequel.
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00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,989
And I'm just here to ask,
is it about the money?
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00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:14,992
Look, Deb, The Jefferson's
is amazing, right?
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00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,410
We did amazing work there.
24
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,662
But I'll be honest,
when I walk on that set,
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00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,206
I feel like I'm being babysat.
26
00:01:20,206 --> 00:01:23,125
I mean, they give me
goddamn stunt coordinators.
27
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:27,588
I have-- I have stage managers,
uh, wires, green screens.
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00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,924
Yes, a-- and somehow,
you still manage to jump out
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of an airplane without a chute.
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00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,637
I wasn't telling the truth
when I told you that,
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but I forgot to say I was lying.
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00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,890
So let's take a pause, right?
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00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,391
Put a pin in that,
so you understand
34
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,393
that wasn't the truth.
I had to make that up.
35
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:42,603
I was pretending.
36
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,104
But you know why
I got to pretend?
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00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,357
Because I'm not a
real action star, Deb.
38
00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:48,734
Kevin, you took a sitcom
about a dry cleaner,
39
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,986
and you turned him into
mother Jason Bourne.
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00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:53,823
Okay? You are
a real action star.
41
00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,950
- No, not yet.
- Not yet?
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00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:59,411
No. But I will be.
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When you fund my next project.
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00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:03,791
Okay.
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00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,125
Deb, now, look, what
I'm about to tell you is going
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00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,460
to seem crazy at first,
but I promise you,
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00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,587
if you give it a chance,
you'll get it.
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00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,881
- Close your eyes.
- Okay.
49
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:13,843
Deb, I want you to picture
yourself going up a mountain.
50
00:02:17,388 --> 00:02:19,515
On the ground!
Let's go!
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00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:21,976
Alright, you rich !
52
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:27,022
Wallets, Rolexes, jewelry!
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00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,566
All your fancy shit!
54
00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:30,192
- What is taking so long?
- Put it in the bag!
55
00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:31,569
Let's go!
56
00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:33,070
Just stay calm. Stay calm.
57
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,989
Everything shiny!
Let's go!
58
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,575
Get it in the bag!
Let's go!
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00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:39,618
They're coming this way.
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00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,203
I don't have all day here!
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00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,247
Shit, shit!
Shit, shit, shit!
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00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:46,667
Trying to hide, little man?
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00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,880
The did you just call me?
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00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:55,009
Bet you got a big wallet
for such a little man.
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00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:56,760
Now, put it in the bag!
66
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,807
You want my wallet? Huh?
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00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:02,933
Get back. I got this.
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00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,476
You got what?
69
00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:08,731
- I want your gun!
- Shit!
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00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,733
You believe
this clown?
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00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,403
Give me your gun!
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00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,075
Whoa.
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00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:22,912
You're just going to be
the first man in history
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00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:24,580
to shoot somebody
with a safety on?
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00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,707
- What?
- Huh?
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00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,843
I don't like guns.
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00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,470
Oh, shit!
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00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,139
- Not enough.
- God damn it.
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00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,515
Shit.
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00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,658
Nice to beef you, .
81
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,959
Hey, it's not about me.
It's about you.
82
00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,919
I'm glad everybody's safe.
83
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,712
It's a crazy world
that we're living in.
84
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:16,131
- A lot of nut jobs out here.
- Oh, Kevin!
85
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,384
Kevin?
What just happened?
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00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,930
Real goddamn action!
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00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,056
That's what just happened.
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- Okay.
- Real action.
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00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,143
That's the adrenaline
that I want audiences
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00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,396
across the globe to feel, Deb.
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00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:32,272
This-- this was all staged?
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00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,692
Yeah! All of it.
They're actors.
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00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:35,943
I just wanted to give you
a little taste of what
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00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,361
our movie was about, right?
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00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,946
This is the movie that
we're going to make.
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00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,573
So what I did was,
I brought an outline, right?
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00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:43,367
A little rough outline
to give you a little idea
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00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:44,535
about what we're going to do.
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00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,495
- Oh, boy.
- Right?
100
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,163
The world of our movie lives
101
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,124
in improvised action.
102
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:52,960
It's spontaneous ass-whoopins.
That's what this is about.
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00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,462
That guy spontaneously
hit you with a gun.
104
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,630
You're talking
about Larry?
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00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,757
Larry! Hey!
You got me good.
106
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,676
- I'm gonna feel that one.
- Yeah, you are.
107
00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:02,970
You goddamn right.
Larry.
108
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,180
You're not well.
Oh, no, you're not well.
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00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,682
This is about me
getting a respect
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00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,934
that I deserve
as an action star, Deb!
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00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,356
What is it that
you want me to say here?
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00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,607
What do I
want you to say?
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00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:18,068
Deb, I want you to say,
I'll do it!
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My answer is no. Never.
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00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:23,157
This is never going to happen,
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00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,700
not at my studio
or anyone else's. No.
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00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,243
Please?
- No.
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00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:27,828
Can you just give it a--
- No, no, no, no.
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00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,872
Deb, can you just--
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00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:32,583
Can you just please
give it a-- give it a read?
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00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,711
Oh.
- Okay? Here.
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00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:37,921
There you go.
That's all-- that's all I want.
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00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,465
Can you just--
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00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,885
I'll read it.
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00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,514
We did it! Yeah!
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00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:08,619
Hello, Mr. Greenlight!
She loved it, right?
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00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,412
I told you she was
going to love it!
128
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,372
What's the budget she
gave you? $300 million?
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00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,625
$400-- $500 million for this?
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00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,126
Just drive.
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00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:22,174
I am so sorry, Kevin.
That's not-- that is not fair.
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00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:24,635
You are a king, and this town
doesn't deserve you.
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00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,512
Do you hear me?
You are a king!
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00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:28,847
You are my king! Praise!
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00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,766
Praise!
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00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,643
Wait a second.
Is that her right there?
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Is that her, the one
throwing away the script?
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00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,480
Is that her right there?
Excuse me, ma'am!
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00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,066
Excuse me, ma'am, in
the red jacket! How are you?
140
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,527
Kevin Darnell Hart
is a national treasure!
141
00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,195
- A national treasure!
- Just drive the car!
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00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:44,988
We're going
to drive the car!
143
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,615
But honestly,
get your shit together!
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00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,033
Nice to meet you!
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00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,452
Drive the car,
Andre!
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00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:02,714
Today is gonna be the most
amazing day of your life.
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00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,091
Your papers.
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00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,759
You say the same thing
every day, Andre.
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00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,886
- And every day, you're wrong.
- Oh, well, come on.
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00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,388
You're just cranky,
because you haven't
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00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:11,014
had your tofu tahini smoothie.
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00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,475
I'll get that for you right now.
Sophie! His TT!
153
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,810
I really hate that
you call it that.
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00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:16,728
Here we go.
Big gulps.
155
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,647
- There you go.
- No.
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00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:22,151
I'm cranky, because the movie
of my dreams just flamed. Okay?
157
00:07:22,151 --> 00:07:23,944
Now, I don't know what
I'm going to do with my life.
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00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,363
Well, I mean, come on, man.
You still have us.
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00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,698
That's amazing, right?
You have us.
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00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,324
What the hell does that mean?
Ooh.
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00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:33,120
Hannah, Sophie, me,
your man TJ right over here!
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00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,997
I'm talking about your village!
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00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:36,373
I know what you need.
I know what you need.
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00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,958
A massage.
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00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,751
Nina, these are all set up
for the new hot stones?
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00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:40,961
I can be in about ten minutes.
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00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,130
She can be in about ten minutes.
168
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,340
Kevin, the crew
are ready whenever you are.
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00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,925
Yeah. I'm ready.
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00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,010
You got this!
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00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:49,428
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:50,971
There you go.
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00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,389
Oh, God.
How you doing?
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00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,183
Good. Great.
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00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:58,020
Kev, now just pretend you're
biking through the Swiss Alps.
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00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:00,522
We'll CG the Alps in later.
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00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,065
What is that?
178
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,525
I'm on foot, though.
I need a bike, right?
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00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,611
We'll CG that in, too.
Action!
180
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:10,365
You just want me to--
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00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:11,992
Just go for it.
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00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,744
Act like
I'm riding a bike?
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00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,954
Exactly.
Straight arms.
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00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,749
Kevin, look at this.
Kevin, look at this.
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00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:21,251
Hey, man.
Not-- No!
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00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:24,296
I can't-- can't do this shit!
I can't.
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00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:29,426
I-- I cannot do
this shit any more! Alright?
188
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:33,138
I'm tired of the CGI and
the goddamn green screens,
189
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,349
all this fake shit!
190
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,642
No, uh--
191
00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:38,227
I want real
action!
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00:08:38,227 --> 00:08:39,853
Ah!
Kevin, no!
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00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:45,400
Nina? What's the ETA
on those hot stones?
194
00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:52,032
It appears
A-list actor
195
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,992
Kevin Hart is back
in the news again.
196
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:57,537
Star of the high-octane reboot
of The Jefferson's,
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00:08:57,663 --> 00:09:00,916
{\an8}Hart has spent his own money
destroying a high-end Hollywood
198
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:03,585
{\an8}restaurant in an
attempt to woo a studio
199
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,587
{\an8}boss into financing what
he refers to
200
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:08,799
{\an8}as a cinema verité-style
action film.
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00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:11,677
This comes just a year
after the actor famously
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00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:15,013
fired his long-time
stuntman Doug Eubanks
203
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,807
in the middle of production,
a decision
204
00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,809
that left insiders dumbfounded.
205
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,227
Bring me this man.
206
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,982
Bring me this Kevin Hart.
207
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,858
...also known as Mr. 206.
208
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,571
Wow.
This is big, man.
209
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,490
No, like, this is really big.
210
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,200
Andre, I don't think
you understand!
211
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,995
I cast my dream out into
the universe, and guess what?
212
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,579
Karl Stromberg comes running!
213
00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:42,416
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
214
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,002
But I got to say, boss.
I don't like it.
215
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,212
I mean, you don't even know
this guy, right?
216
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,339
I tried to look him up,
and nothing came up on Google.
217
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:52,050
Duh.
It's because he's European.
218
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,511
They got their own Google.
Everybody knows that. Alright?
219
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:57,014
Listen, the guy is loaded,
got tons of money.
220
00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:59,683
And if his desire is to make
my movie, then so be it.
221
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,518
- I'm good.
- I can't do it, boss.
222
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,312
I am so sorry.
I can't do it.
223
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,314
My job is to look out for your
best interest, and I don't--
224
00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:07,190
Uh, what did you just say?
225
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,275
It's my job
to look out for your--
226
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,068
It's not your job.
227
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,946
As a matter of fact, that's the
complete opposite of your job.
228
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,782
You know who
looks out for me, Andre? Me.
229
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,200
That's who looks out for me.
Me!
230
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,452
Okay?
231
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,037
- You know what? Pull over.
- What?
232
00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:21,330
Pull over. I'm driving myself.
I don't want you--
233
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,789
Kevin, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
234
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,041
Kevin, you can't drive yourself.
You need me!
235
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,043
- You need me!
- I do not need you.
236
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:28,378
Correction!
I don't need you!
237
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:29,796
I didn't need my stunt man!
238
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,214
I damn sure don't
need an assistant
239
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,466
telling me how to live my life.
240
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:33,717
Pull over!
241
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:37,929
Don't-- don't hold the wheel
in the middle!
242
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:40,682
Shut up, Andre!
I said shut up!
243
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,309
- I know how to drive!
- We know!
244
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,894
We all know!
He knows how to drive a car!
245
00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:46,313
We know! But let's say you
put your hand down.
246
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,315
- You pop it in D.
- Pop it in first!
247
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,192
Nope, that's reverse!
Whoa! You know what?
248
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,860
Why don't I help you out?
249
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,904
I'll get in there, I'll start
her up, I'll roll out,
250
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:55,072
and everybody will
think it was you.
251
00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,531
I don't want your help!
252
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,075
Good, good, good! Good!
253
00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,368
Good! Good, good, good!
254
00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:00,994
Yeah, smooth!
Very smooth!
255
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,121
You're leaving!
Yeah! off!
256
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,915
I'll drive all the way home!
257
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,771
So, Karl...
258
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,982
Karl, what is it, uh, what is
that you do for a living, man?
259
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:36,363
I made my fortune
mining precious metals.
260
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,031
Mm.
261
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:42,202
Now, I finance films,
primarily in the Balkans,
262
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,787
once in North Korea.
263
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:45,872
It's probably hard
to get permits over there, huh?
264
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:49,167
Permits are for cowards.
265
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:53,672
Your outline... is dangerous.
266
00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,173
It's violent.
267
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:56,800
It's almost no narrative
that makes
268
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,761
sense to a regular human being.
269
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,514
I am not
the regular human being. No.
270
00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:07,769
- I am Karl Stromberg.
- Yeah.
271
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,521
And that is why...
272
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,483
I will finance
this film for you.
273
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,570
What did you just say to me?
274
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,029
You're telling me
that you're going
275
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:20,991
to finance my goddamn movie?
Huh?
276
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:23,994
Dude, you just
made my day, man!
277
00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,912
And I don't have to do my pitch!
Because my pitch is expensive.
278
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,622
I ain't going to
break all this glass
279
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,207
and stuff in here, because
I know I got to pay for it.
280
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,500
Dude! You just--
281
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,043
I was in a dark place, Karl.
282
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,920
I was in a real dark place, man.
283
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,047
You just pulled me
out of a dark place.
284
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,549
Because people
underestimate you.
285
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,800
Yeah.
286
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,344
When you left comedy
for the action,
287
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,888
they said you'd fail.
288
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:44,473
Did they?
289
00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:47,225
When you fired your stuntman
to do your own stunts...
290
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:49,436
they said you would fail.
291
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,729
You heard about that?
292
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:52,439
Everyone heard about
that.
293
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,441
It's only you and Tom Cruise
who do your own stunts now.
294
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,693
That's-- that's a fact.
295
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,987
Two peas in a pod, man.
What's going on?
296
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,198
What you doing?
297
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,616
This film, Kevin...
298
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:08,705
will put you
in your own category.
299
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:14,252
Ah! One pea in one pod.
300
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,837
Yes, right.
301
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,714
That's right.
One pea, one pod.
302
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,343
Hell, yeah.
303
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:22,844
That's what
it's supposed to be, Karl.
304
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,304
You know what, man?
I know we just met,
305
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,932
but I feel like
I've known you for a long time,
306
00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:28,391
because you get me.
307
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,268
I'm so sick of this...
308
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:34,439
this CG and this
green screen shit!
309
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,525
So what'd you think of
the story, Karl? About me--
310
00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:39,110
No one watches movies
for the story.
311
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:40,529
Yeah.
312
00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,239
They watch it for the action.
313
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,575
And the nudity.
314
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,538
I don't really...
315
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:52,499
I don't really have
any in my script.
316
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,000
But if you want some,
if you feel like people want
317
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,711
to see ,
I can add some .
318
00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:58,797
I can-- I'm not afraid
to go full frontal.
319
00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:00,799
I'll do it. Right?
320
00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:02,384
If that's what the people want.
321
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,386
My biggest thing, though,
is the action, man.
322
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,012
I just don't--
I don't want to see it coming.
323
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,722
Right?
I want to be caught off guard.
324
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,599
- You will shit your pants!
- What you talkin' about?
325
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,519
We will have a change of pants
available at all times
326
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,897
for when you shit your pants.
327
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,857
Because I'm scared.
328
00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:19,526
You will shit.
- I-- I will shit.
329
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,194
You will shit...
- Yeah.
330
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,696
...your pants.
- I'll shit my goddamn pants.
331
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,656
You will shit!
332
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:26,408
I want to shit!
- You will shit.
333
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:27,826
Alright! I wanna shit!
334
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,911
- You wanna shit?
- Yeah! I will shit!
335
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:31,997
You shit your pants!
336
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,666
I'm ready
to shit my pants, Karl!
337
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:38,837
I want to shit my pants!
Right now!
338
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:41,548
When-- when do we start
so I can shit!
339
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,592
We already have.
340
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,552
There's a camera hidden
right behind you.
341
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:49,848
Ohh!
342
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:52,726
I think I see it!
343
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,228
The little-- the black--
the space with the black, right?
344
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,157
Back up!
345
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,909
Get your ass back!
346
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,077
I don't know who you think
you messing with,
347
00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:53,370
but I tell you, you got...
348
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,080
Oh, shit!
349
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,666
He going to eat my ass!
350
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,918
He going to eat my ass and
set me on fire or some shit,
351
00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,419
ain't you?
352
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:04,089
Who are you? Huh?
353
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:06,466
Where am I?
Tell me-- tell me where I'm at!
354
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,677
Who...
Wait a minute.
355
00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:10,804
Do you work,
you work for Karl Stromberg?
356
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,560
I said, do you work
for Karl Stromberg?
357
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,109
Okay.
358
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,405
Okay. Okay, we in it.
359
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,532
This is it.
We're doing it.
360
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,992
Okay, Karl!
I like it! I like it!
361
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,036
Um, okay, shit.
362
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:37,038
Okay, let me see. Where--
where are we in the script?
363
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,998
God, my adrenaline's
flowing so much.
364
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,210
You got me! I thought you was
really trying to eat my ass!
365
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,671
Alright.
Uh, okay, three, two, one.
366
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,047
Okay.
367
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:48,550
Rice, peas, carrots, let's go.
368
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:56,975
You know, I've been searching
the globe for you.
369
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:59,853
You're a hard man to find,
Mr. Bartholomew.
370
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,777
I think you got a line.
371
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,071
You got a line!
372
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:13,032
Uh, you say your part,
and I'll react off of that.
373
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,785
Because what you say
sets me up to now have my...
374
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:19,456
Unless you're not union. Or--
Is he union or no?
375
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,916
Guys?
Can you not just--
376
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,293
Okay.
377
00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,336
Oh, rewrite.
There must have been pink pages.
378
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,255
Okay.
Uh, let me get back in.
379
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,385
What you going to do with those?
380
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,721
Chop off my finger? Hmm?
381
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,556
Cut off my leg?
My foot?
382
00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:41,060
Newsflash, I only need
one foot to kick your ass.
383
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:46,524
That is a trailer moment!
Guys! I only--
384
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,985
Good evening.
385
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:52,405
Do not use the shears
on this man.
386
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,990
Is that--
is that the producer?
387
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,700
Is that Karl? Karl!
388
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,078
He must
atone for his sins.
389
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,498
What is that?
Atone for my-- I don't know--
390
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:03,416
He must feel the pain
391
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,293
he has made others feel.
392
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,757
Yeah, I'm lost, guys.
I don't know where we are.
393
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,884
Um, if we're going
to do rewrites,
394
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:14,803
you guys got to
give me the pages.
395
00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,346
I'll stay in it.
I'll stay in it. Uh...
396
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,935
Okay, alright. Okay.
397
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,686
Why don't we-- why don't we
take it easy?
398
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:25,146
Because I know why
you're mad, huh?
399
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,356
You're mad because--
Stop right there.
400
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,899
Let's stop right there.
No, no, no.
401
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:30,235
Let's make that your mark.
Nope, stop right there.
402
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:33,530
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Hey!
403
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:34,823
Count to ten.
404
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,199
No, you! Wait!
405
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:38,785
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey! Hey, man!
406
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,329
Hey!
No, no, don't cut my !
407
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,790
Don't cut my !
That's not-- Okay, use it.
408
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,583
I'mma use it!
Stay in it.
409
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,046
Yeah!
410
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,223
Two.
411
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,434
Come on!
412
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:04,477
Come on!
413
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,659
Damn it!
414
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,160
No, not today.
415
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:23,997
Yeah!
416
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,874
Did we get it? Huh?
417
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:28,668
Spin it!
We got it!
418
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,670
Yeah! Oh!
419
00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:35,967
Comin' to beat
your ass, Montoya.
420
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:40,013
This set is incredible.
So good.
421
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,601
Shit!
422
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,269
It's Montoya's men.
423
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,658
Jordan?
The hell are you doing here?
424
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,497
Son of a !
425
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,791
Did they hurt you? Hm?
Did they hurt you?
426
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:11,085
Kevin, what the hell
is going on?
427
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:13,588
The uranium heist.
That's what's going on.
428
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:16,299
- Wait, what?
- I already handled Bartholomew.
429
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:20,553
But General Montoya, he's not
going to let us off as easy.
430
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,139
What the hell
are you talking about?
431
00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:24,265
Shit!
432
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,017
I was walking my dog,
433
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,685
and someone hit me
in the neck
434
00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:29,354
with a tranquillizer dart!
435
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,439
- Huh?
- And I ended up here.
436
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,107
What are
you talking about?
437
00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:34,734
You didn't talk
to Karl Stromberg?
438
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,110
Who?
439
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:38,446
Karl Stromberg
about the movie?
440
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,907
Right now, we're in it!
This is the movie!
441
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,241
It's a live-action movie!
442
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,577
We're improving
all the action scenes!
443
00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:47,121
No green screen,
no cables.
444
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,915
It's real, raw.
445
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,333
He's going to take
my acting career
446
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:52,001
and my action status
to the next level.
447
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:53,753
So this is all your fault?
448
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,546
Well, I mean,
it's my script.
449
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,507
It took me I don't know how
long to develop it. But Karl--
450
00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,133
- What the hell is your problem!
- Stop!
451
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:00,551
What is wrong with you?
452
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,011
- Shit! Ow!
- Annoying!
453
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,097
Stop. Shit!
That's sharp!
454
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:06,057
How long were you
laying on that?
455
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,600
Damn it!
456
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,435
Now, why you got an attitude?
457
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,689
This is a simple outline!
It's a layup!
458
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,899
Okay?
I'm a triple agent.
459
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,485
MI-7.
I'm the highest of high, right?
460
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,153
Like, you can't get higher
than where I am.
461
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,114
But you-- you're
my love interest.
462
00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:22,490
They took you hostage because
they knew that's the only way
463
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:23,950
to get to me.
464
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,743
So now, I'm here,
and I got to get you.
465
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:27,286
- You understand what--
- You're pathetic.
466
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:30,164
And I'm pretty sure
that kidnapping is a felony.
467
00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:32,417
Well, I'm pretty sure
that when you're an adult,
468
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,960
they don't call it kidnapping.
469
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,004
So that's--
That's pathetic.
470
00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:37,547
you, Kevin.
471
00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:39,674
What do you mean me?
Why are you at me?
472
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:41,467
You should be mad at
Karl Stromberg! Not me!
473
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:43,386
I do not know who that is!
474
00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:45,096
Shh!
475
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,685
You don't want him to hear you.
476
00:21:50,685 --> 00:21:52,603
Who?
Who will hear me?
477
00:21:52,603 --> 00:21:55,440
There's no one here!
And do not say Karl Stromberg.
478
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,358
Are you saying Strum or Strom?
479
00:21:57,358 --> 00:21:58,985
Is it Strum or Stromberg?
Because I don't know.
480
00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:01,195
Okay, hey, hey, hey.
481
00:22:01,195 --> 00:22:03,072
There are cameras everywhere.
482
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:04,991
We're filming a movie!
483
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:09,704
Where?
There are no cameras anywhere!
484
00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:12,832
Will you look around?
There's cameras everywhere!
485
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,584
Okay, listen. Listen.
486
00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:17,670
All I need you to do is
just grasp what's going on.
487
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,006
This is a big opportunity
for both of us.
488
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:22,800
Okay? Just get in character.
489
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,552
Please?
490
00:22:28,598 --> 00:22:31,017
They got this place locked down
tighter than Fort Knox.
491
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:33,644
Oh, God.
You wrote this dialogue?
492
00:22:33,644 --> 00:22:36,814
Those knew
I would come rescue you.
493
00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:39,358
Beautiful damsel in distress
like yourself.
494
00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:44,864
Yep.
Thank you for rescuing me.
495
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:48,993
Just like any woman,
I wouldn't know what to do
496
00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:53,039
if a man didn't show up
to save me and tell me to eat
497
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:55,875
so I don't starve and breathe
oxygen, so I don't suffocate.
498
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,169
Let's cut. Let's cut.
499
00:22:58,169 --> 00:22:59,921
Can we cut?
500
00:22:59,921 --> 00:23:01,297
Can you work with me?
501
00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:05,843
- I'd rather not.
- Please.
502
00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:07,720
Thank you.
- Okay.
503
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,847
Alright, guys, we're
going to go again. Alright?
504
00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:10,932
Self-action.
505
00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:15,269
Do you have any idea what's on
the other side of that door?
506
00:23:15,269 --> 00:23:17,605
There are some dangerous men
on the other side of that door.
507
00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:21,025
I'm talking mercenaries,
killers, ninjas,
508
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,693
failed karate school
instructors,
509
00:23:22,693 --> 00:23:24,153
people that want
to do bad things to me
510
00:23:24,153 --> 00:23:26,072
just because they can.
511
00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:29,158
There's a bounty
on my head.
512
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:33,246
I'll tell you what, Esmeralda.
513
00:23:35,164 --> 00:23:37,333
I'll pay that bounty.
514
00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:41,129
And I will give them my head...
if it meant saving your life
515
00:23:41,129 --> 00:23:42,880
so that you can
finish med school
516
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,674
and open up that clinic that
you always wanted to--
517
00:23:44,674 --> 00:23:46,551
Ow! Shit!
518
00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:48,511
Open up that clinic
that you always wanted--
519
00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:49,971
Esmeralda, wait.
520
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:54,600
Esmeralda! Hey!
521
00:23:57,103 --> 00:23:59,856
Oh, you piece of shit!
522
00:23:59,856 --> 00:24:02,066
You leave her out of it,
you hear me?
523
00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:04,443
She's got nothing
to do with this.
524
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:09,407
This is between me, you, and the
78,000 kilos of stolen uranium.
525
00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:13,411
Alright.
That's how you want to have it?
526
00:24:13,411 --> 00:24:16,289
Let's have at it.
527
00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:18,207
I'm so over this.
528
00:24:18,207 --> 00:24:20,835
Kevin, next time you have
a terrible movie idea,
529
00:24:20,835 --> 00:24:22,628
leave me out of it, yeah?
530
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:24,130
- Ah!
- Oh, shit!
531
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,344
I'm sorry, but did
this central casting goon
532
00:24:30,344 --> 00:24:33,639
just hit me in the face
with a real ass-- Cut.
533
00:24:33,639 --> 00:24:35,933
No, no, no, we need
to cut right now!
534
00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:37,685
I don't know what weird
production this is,
535
00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:39,520
but I need to speak
to a producer!
536
00:24:51,199 --> 00:24:52,617
Is that all you've got?
537
00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:56,412
Jordan.
Let me get in there now.
538
00:24:58,331 --> 00:25:00,499
Slam his ass!
539
00:25:03,336 --> 00:25:05,796
Jordan!
Let my character get some!
540
00:25:05,796 --> 00:25:07,131
Tag me in!
541
00:25:12,803 --> 00:25:14,597
Damn!
542
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:23,773
Hold it.
543
00:25:27,735 --> 00:25:28,903
Yeah!
544
00:25:30,404 --> 00:25:32,531
Whoa! We got that!
545
00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:33,991
What a scene!
546
00:25:33,991 --> 00:25:36,410
Good job!
Here.
547
00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:37,787
I think I'm the one
that was supposed
548
00:25:37,787 --> 00:25:39,163
to kick his ass, though.
549
00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:40,706
Because I'm the lead.
550
00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:41,999
So I'm quite sure that
was supposed to be me.
551
00:25:41,999 --> 00:25:43,209
But we'll fix it in post--
552
00:25:44,835 --> 00:25:47,296
Go, go, go! Go!
553
00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:54,428
That guy was
trying to kill me!
554
00:25:54,428 --> 00:25:55,846
Kevin, not acting!
555
00:25:55,846 --> 00:25:57,682
Not a movie!
Literally trying to kill me!
556
00:25:57,682 --> 00:26:00,059
No. It's cinema verité.
557
00:26:00,184 --> 00:26:01,644
I know it's a little different,
but that's what it is.
558
00:26:01,644 --> 00:26:04,188
Different? A little
different, Kevin?
559
00:26:04,188 --> 00:26:05,898
- Wow, shit!
- Are you okay?
560
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:08,276
Yeah, I know you're just
trying to get me to apologize.
561
00:26:08,276 --> 00:26:10,653
- Just give me a second. What?
- Kevin.
562
00:26:10,653 --> 00:26:13,572
You've been hit.
With a real bullet!
563
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,326
That's not real blood.
564
00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:18,869
What?
565
00:26:18,869 --> 00:26:20,746
- Of course it's real blood!
- No. Taste it.
566
00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,331
I'm not going
to taste your blood, Kevin!
567
00:26:22,331 --> 00:26:24,625
You can! You can!
It's pig's blood!
568
00:26:24,625 --> 00:26:27,003
It's not my blood.
569
00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:28,504
Does that feel fake?
570
00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:31,882
- Ow! Ow!
- Shit! Shit, shit.
571
00:26:31,882 --> 00:26:35,219
I gotta lay down!
572
00:26:36,762 --> 00:26:39,932
Kevin!
573
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,726
No, no, no, no, no!
Wait, look!
574
00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:44,020
There's a photographer! Look.
He wants your picture! See?
575
00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:48,065
Go on! What the !
576
00:26:50,192 --> 00:26:51,652
If I had what now?
577
00:26:51,652 --> 00:26:53,529
Just an
unexpected accident
578
00:26:53,529 --> 00:26:56,365
with a very small,
579
00:26:56,365 --> 00:27:00,119
flying, fast, like projectile
object through his shoulder.
580
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:01,329
And I just think
some painkillers
581
00:27:01,329 --> 00:27:02,371
would really help him.
582
00:27:02,371 --> 00:27:03,664
Mm-hmm.
583
00:27:03,664 --> 00:27:05,124
I know I don't have
a prescription,
584
00:27:05,124 --> 00:27:06,959
but I can assure you,
this is an emergency.
585
00:27:09,003 --> 00:27:10,463
I see.
586
00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:15,343
You want to score
some good drugs?
587
00:27:15,343 --> 00:27:18,095
Some xannies,
some ox, chuckleheads,
588
00:27:18,095 --> 00:27:20,765
wet Garys, Shriek and
Jimmy's, moon pie, spider pie?
589
00:27:20,765 --> 00:27:22,433
Look, I'm not a drug addict!
590
00:27:22,433 --> 00:27:24,685
I'm an actor!
Don't you recognize me?
591
00:27:24,685 --> 00:27:26,729
Um--
592
00:27:26,729 --> 00:27:28,356
Okay, it doesn't matter.
Alright?
593
00:27:28,356 --> 00:27:29,982
My idiot friend got shot
with a real bullet,
594
00:27:29,982 --> 00:27:32,443
an actual bullet
from an actual gun!
595
00:27:32,443 --> 00:27:34,195
And now, he's bleeding out
in your alleyway!
596
00:27:34,195 --> 00:27:36,530
And if you don't help me
help him,
597
00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:38,491
you're going to have
a body on your hands!
598
00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:42,912
Would I know him from anywhere?
599
00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:45,539
You're lucky
it just grazed you.
600
00:27:47,792 --> 00:27:50,294
Here.
It's the best I could do.
601
00:27:50,294 --> 00:27:53,255
- The hell is this?
- It's for the pain.
602
00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:56,133
Pharmacist was
a real piece of work.
603
00:27:56,133 --> 00:27:57,385
Well, you're a piece of work
for bringing
604
00:27:57,385 --> 00:27:58,928
this out here to me.
605
00:27:58,928 --> 00:28:00,930
I can't drink this.
This is my competitor!
606
00:28:00,930 --> 00:28:03,224
You got to go back in there
and ask for Grand Cormino.
607
00:28:03,224 --> 00:28:04,558
Are you being serious
right now?
608
00:28:04,558 --> 00:28:06,394
Kevin, you've been shot!
I was kidnapped!
609
00:28:06,394 --> 00:28:09,355
- Grown woman acting. Okay.
- You need to fix this!
610
00:28:09,355 --> 00:28:13,317
- You need to fix this now!
- I told you, I can't! Okay?
611
00:28:13,317 --> 00:28:14,610
Even if I wanted to,
I can't do it.
612
00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:16,695
And by the way,
it's all by design.
613
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,989
I gave all the rights
over to Karl Stromberg,
614
00:28:18,989 --> 00:28:22,201
who is a great precious
metals magnate.
615
00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:23,744
You do hear
how that sounds, right?
616
00:28:23,744 --> 00:28:26,038
You-- you hear the words?
617
00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:27,540
You know, Andre was right.
618
00:28:28,624 --> 00:28:30,084
Andre, your assistant?
619
00:28:30,084 --> 00:28:34,130
Yes, my assistant.
No, my former assistant.
620
00:28:34,130 --> 00:28:36,549
He was right, though.
You know what we're going to do?
621
00:28:36,549 --> 00:28:39,427
We're going to pay
Karl Stromberg a visit.
622
00:28:39,427 --> 00:28:41,137
Yeah, that's exactly
what we're going to do.
623
00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:43,013
We're going to tell him
he needs to get back on book.
624
00:28:43,013 --> 00:28:46,976
Because right now, he's not
following my guidelines at all.
625
00:28:46,976 --> 00:28:48,394
And we're all over the place.
626
00:28:48,394 --> 00:28:50,146
In order for this movie
to be the best thing
627
00:28:50,146 --> 00:28:52,940
that we know that it can be,
we got to get back on pace.
628
00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:54,817
Okay?
We're paying him a visit.
629
00:28:57,319 --> 00:28:59,447
Well, at least my car
is still here.
630
00:28:59,447 --> 00:29:00,865
Yeah, but it's the only one.
631
00:29:00,865 --> 00:29:02,283
This place is dead.
632
00:29:02,283 --> 00:29:04,618
Yes, because it's the weekend.
That's why.
633
00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:06,454
Kevin, it's Tuesday.
634
00:29:06,454 --> 00:29:07,788
Oh.
635
00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:13,294
Wait, what the ?
636
00:29:15,045 --> 00:29:16,172
Kevin, it doesn't look
like anyone's
637
00:29:16,172 --> 00:29:18,007
been here for weeks.
638
00:29:18,007 --> 00:29:19,425
No, that's not true.
639
00:29:19,425 --> 00:29:21,552
I was just here.
I was just here.
640
00:29:21,552 --> 00:29:23,679
Stromberg was right there.
Okay?
641
00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:25,639
That was the last week, or it
may have been a week before.
642
00:29:25,639 --> 00:29:27,016
I don't know what week
it was, because I
643
00:29:27,016 --> 00:29:28,893
got knocked the out.
But I was here.
644
00:29:28,893 --> 00:29:31,228
He was sitting at a desk,
right here.
645
00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:33,230
This is where he was.
He was--
646
00:29:36,150 --> 00:29:37,318
Hmm?
647
00:29:40,488 --> 00:29:42,531
You will shit your pants!
648
00:29:42,531 --> 00:29:44,241
I'm not crazy.
649
00:29:44,241 --> 00:29:45,993
I knew he was here.
650
00:29:45,993 --> 00:29:47,703
Would I have this
if he wasn't here?
651
00:29:47,703 --> 00:29:49,413
It's the butt to his cigar.
652
00:29:49,413 --> 00:29:50,915
You know what he was doing?
653
00:29:50,915 --> 00:29:53,417
He was doing real weird
stuff with the cigar,
654
00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:56,837
licking it, putting it in his
nose, slobbering all on it.
655
00:29:56,837 --> 00:29:58,714
I was watching him
while he was doing it.
656
00:29:58,714 --> 00:29:59,924
Closing his eyes.
657
00:29:59,924 --> 00:30:01,717
All of a sudden--
658
00:30:04,762 --> 00:30:06,013
Why did you
have to drag me
659
00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:08,933
into your stupid fantasy
death wish movie?
660
00:30:08,933 --> 00:30:10,476
What are you talking about?
661
00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:12,353
All I said was think
somebody like Jordan King.
662
00:30:12,353 --> 00:30:14,188
Keyword, "think."
It was a suggestion.
663
00:30:14,188 --> 00:30:15,856
Oh, great.
Thanks for the suggestion.
664
00:30:15,856 --> 00:30:17,441
He probably wanted you
because you're one
665
00:30:17,441 --> 00:30:19,068
of the biggest stars in Sweden.
What if that's the case?
666
00:30:19,068 --> 00:30:20,819
I'm pretty sure
Greta Thunberg
667
00:30:20,945 --> 00:30:22,279
is the biggest star in Sweden.
668
00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:23,656
The environmental activist?
669
00:30:23,656 --> 00:30:25,282
Yeah, they have
their priorities straight.
670
00:30:26,575 --> 00:30:27,910
Hey, whoa.
671
00:30:29,328 --> 00:30:31,080
Wait a minute. Come here.
What's this?
672
00:30:32,122 --> 00:30:33,082
Look.
673
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:35,417
Look, will you just look?
674
00:30:44,385 --> 00:30:45,886
The hell is this?
675
00:30:48,138 --> 00:30:50,933
Whoa. It's the VHS.
676
00:30:50,933 --> 00:30:52,810
I haven't seen one
of these in years.
677
00:30:59,149 --> 00:31:02,152
Hey, it's Brian Penn from
Buchwald Associates reading fo--
678
00:31:02,152 --> 00:31:04,530
Um, I'm sorry,
is it Stromberg or--
679
00:31:04,530 --> 00:31:06,657
That's Karl Stromberg!
It's Stromberg.
680
00:31:06,657 --> 00:31:08,617
It's him! I mean, he--
681
00:31:08,742 --> 00:31:10,119
It's different hair,
but it's him!
682
00:31:10,119 --> 00:31:14,707
Bring me this man,
this... Kevin Hart.
683
00:31:14,707 --> 00:31:16,709
I-- I'm actually going
to go thicker.
684
00:31:16,709 --> 00:31:19,003
Kevin, it's an audition tape.
685
00:31:19,003 --> 00:31:21,922
Yeah, well, obviously.
I can see that.
686
00:31:21,922 --> 00:31:23,549
I see that
it's an audition tape.
687
00:31:23,549 --> 00:31:25,467
The question is, why?
Why is it an audition tape?
688
00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:28,429
Oh, my god. Wait a minute,
is Karl Stromberg even real?
689
00:31:28,429 --> 00:31:30,264
What, you didn't
google him before the meeting?
690
00:31:30,264 --> 00:31:31,932
He's from Sweden.
691
00:31:31,932 --> 00:31:33,726
You want me to go all the
way to Sweden and google?
692
00:31:33,726 --> 00:31:35,811
That's ridiculous. Stop.
693
00:31:35,811 --> 00:31:37,146
Are you on drugs?
694
00:31:42,651 --> 00:31:44,153
Quick, answer it!
695
00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:54,371
Hello?
696
00:31:54,371 --> 00:31:56,624
Hello, Mr. Action Star.
697
00:31:56,624 --> 00:31:58,584
Congratulations.
You escaped.
698
00:31:58,584 --> 00:32:01,045
Uh, do you know
you shot me with a real bullet?
699
00:32:01,045 --> 00:32:02,463
Of course I know.
700
00:32:02,463 --> 00:32:04,131
That bullet was
meant to kill you.
701
00:32:04,131 --> 00:32:05,633
Oh, that's stupid.
702
00:32:05,633 --> 00:32:07,259
You kill me, and then
you don't have a movie.
703
00:32:07,384 --> 00:32:09,136
You moron.
There is no movie.
704
00:32:09,136 --> 00:32:10,554
There never was.
705
00:32:10,554 --> 00:32:11,889
What do you mean
there's no movie?
706
00:32:11,889 --> 00:32:13,307
You'd better stop
talking like that.
707
00:32:13,307 --> 00:32:15,017
That's blasphemy,
and you know it.
708
00:32:15,017 --> 00:32:17,144
There is a movie.
Okay, who is this?
709
00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:18,687
Are you the producer?
710
00:32:18,687 --> 00:32:20,481
You have
forgotten who you are,
711
00:32:20,481 --> 00:32:22,441
where you came from.
712
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:24,443
I didn't-- didn't anybody
forget where they came from.
713
00:32:24,443 --> 00:32:26,153
Then what was the name
714
00:32:26,153 --> 00:32:28,364
of your first elementary
school teacher?
715
00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:33,952
Ms. Foxen.
716
00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:36,413
No, Ms. Clarkson-- Clarkson--
Clarkson.
717
00:32:36,413 --> 00:32:38,165
Yeah, Ms. Clarkson.
718
00:32:38,165 --> 00:32:39,792
And the hospital
where you were born?
719
00:32:39,792 --> 00:32:41,168
What does that have to do
with anything?
720
00:32:41,168 --> 00:32:42,670
The name.
721
00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:46,632
Go on.
722
00:32:46,632 --> 00:32:50,427
Uh, Saint Falkenstein.
723
00:32:50,427 --> 00:32:52,971
- That sounds wrong.
- Saint Falkenstein Hospital.
724
00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:55,015
What-- Hey!
Enough of this shit!
725
00:32:55,015 --> 00:32:56,850
Cut the shit!
Who are you?
726
00:32:56,850 --> 00:32:58,394
Who the are you?
727
00:32:58,394 --> 00:33:00,020
I'm the person who's brought
728
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:01,397
an end to your life.
729
00:33:01,397 --> 00:33:02,981
You are no longer cared for.
730
00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:05,109
- You're worth nothing.
- Uh, excuse me.
731
00:33:05,109 --> 00:33:07,403
Can I ask why I've been
dragged into this?
732
00:33:09,279 --> 00:33:11,907
Great, Kevin! You took all
the phone time with him!
733
00:33:11,907 --> 00:33:13,409
Oh, I'm sorry.
734
00:33:13,409 --> 00:33:14,993
Excuse the out of me
for trying to figure out
735
00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:17,121
what was going on with my life,
trying to hear
736
00:33:17,121 --> 00:33:18,997
a serial killer voice out.
737
00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:20,708
I'm sorry that
I inconvenienced you!
738
00:33:20,708 --> 00:33:22,960
- Shh! Shh!
- Goddamn it, Jordan!
739
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:24,712
Shh! Do you hear that?
740
00:33:28,090 --> 00:33:30,050
It's the VCR.
741
00:33:30,050 --> 00:33:31,802
What the ?
742
00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:35,389
Oh, , it's a bomb.
743
00:33:35,389 --> 00:33:37,474
- What?
- It's a bomb.
744
00:33:37,474 --> 00:33:38,851
Well, disarm it!
745
00:33:38,851 --> 00:33:40,269
You disarm it!
746
00:33:40,269 --> 00:33:41,854
Oh, yeah, 'cause
I know how to disarm a bomb.
747
00:33:41,854 --> 00:33:43,897
Oh, I do 'cause I'm Black?
That's what you think?
748
00:33:43,897 --> 00:33:45,399
Every Black man know
how to disarm a bomb?
749
00:33:45,399 --> 00:33:46,734
That is not a thing, Kevin.
750
00:33:46,734 --> 00:33:48,110
Oh, I bet
it's not a thing.
751
00:33:48,110 --> 00:33:49,987
Get your racist ass back.
Move, move!
752
00:33:51,238 --> 00:33:52,823
Quick, quick, quick. Come on.
753
00:33:52,823 --> 00:33:56,160
Oh, my God.
Open it, open it.
754
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,036
Pull, pull!
755
00:34:01,415 --> 00:34:02,958
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
756
00:34:07,171 --> 00:34:09,256
Back.
Get back, get back, get back!
757
00:34:09,256 --> 00:34:10,591
Shit.
758
00:34:16,930 --> 00:34:18,807
Okay.
759
00:34:18,807 --> 00:34:20,726
Well, I guess it
is just a movie.
760
00:34:20,726 --> 00:34:22,394
Yeah, and that was a fake bomb--
761
00:34:23,604 --> 00:34:24,980
Whoa!
762
00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:34,990
Where's my keys?
763
00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:36,408
- Oh, my god!
- Oh, you're okay.
764
00:34:36,408 --> 00:34:37,910
You're okay.
What was that sound?
765
00:34:37,910 --> 00:34:39,703
Andre? What the hell are
you doing here?
766
00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:41,121
- Come on, go.
- What are you talking about?
767
00:34:41,121 --> 00:34:42,372
- We gotta go.
- I'll get the door for you.
768
00:34:42,372 --> 00:34:43,916
Go now!
769
00:34:43,916 --> 00:34:45,876
Kevin, that was
a real bomb.
770
00:34:45,876 --> 00:34:47,586
A real bomb!
771
00:34:47,586 --> 00:34:49,296
Okay, Jordan, well, can you
put yourself in my shoes?
772
00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:50,839
I will not, no. No.
773
00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:52,216
I do not have to do that.
Do you know what?
774
00:34:52,216 --> 00:34:54,843
Just shut up.
Shut the up.
775
00:34:54,843 --> 00:34:57,554
Hey, Jordan. I'm Andre.
I don't know if you remember me.
776
00:34:57,554 --> 00:34:58,847
Hey, man,
put your hand on the wheel.
777
00:34:58,847 --> 00:35:00,140
You got it.
778
00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:01,934
I'm actually...
I'm Kevin's protege.
779
00:35:01,934 --> 00:35:05,938
Sorry, I'm Kevin's assistant...
Former assistant. me.
780
00:35:05,938 --> 00:35:09,024
Of course I remember you,
Andre. So what?
781
00:35:09,024 --> 00:35:10,859
Kevin kicked you out in the
middle of the street, did he?
782
00:35:10,984 --> 00:35:13,403
No, pish-posh.
No, of course not.
783
00:35:13,403 --> 00:35:16,907
Technically, it was the sidewalk
and I love Skid Row.
784
00:35:16,907 --> 00:35:18,408
Everybody's got a story to tell.
785
00:35:18,408 --> 00:35:20,327
So many teachable moments.
786
00:35:20,327 --> 00:35:21,995
Wait, you-- you didn't go home?
787
00:35:21,995 --> 00:35:23,705
You just waited here
this whole time?
788
00:35:23,705 --> 00:35:25,457
Well, yeah. I mean, I always
carry a spare key, right?
789
00:35:25,582 --> 00:35:27,668
That's what I do.
And I don't mind waiting.
790
00:35:27,668 --> 00:35:31,338
- It was a quick 25, 30 hours.
- Thirty hours?
791
00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:34,007
I would wait a lifetime
to make sure Kevin is okay.
792
00:35:34,007 --> 00:35:36,510
Stop it. Stop it.
I didn't ask you to do that.
793
00:35:36,510 --> 00:35:38,929
- Don't act like I did.
- I know, I know.
794
00:35:38,929 --> 00:35:40,514
And I know you fired me.
795
00:35:40,514 --> 00:35:42,307
Oh, right, you fired him
796
00:35:42,307 --> 00:35:44,977
because he tried to warn you
about the Swedish mobster that
797
00:35:44,977 --> 00:35:47,229
was actually a shitty actor
who was working
798
00:35:47,229 --> 00:35:48,772
for someone trying to murder us.
799
00:35:48,772 --> 00:35:50,023
Okay, I don't understand
what's happening.
800
00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:51,567
I really don't.
And Jordan,
801
00:35:51,567 --> 00:35:52,818
I'm just gonna throw this
out there right now.
802
00:35:52,943 --> 00:35:54,444
I feel like you're still
mad at me.
803
00:35:54,444 --> 00:35:57,030
I will never not be mad at you
for the rest of my life.
804
00:35:57,030 --> 00:35:59,616
I am so sorry to interrupt,
but where am I going?
805
00:35:59,616 --> 00:36:01,159
Because I've just been driving.
806
00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:02,452
Hey, hey,
we're going to my house.
807
00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:03,829
- You got it.
- Okay, go to my house.
808
00:36:03,829 --> 00:36:05,205
No, I'm not going to your house.
809
00:36:05,205 --> 00:36:06,623
- I'm going to my house.
- Your house it is.
810
00:36:06,623 --> 00:36:08,000
No, you're not going
to your house,
811
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,293
because I need to know
that you're safe.
812
00:36:09,293 --> 00:36:11,420
Oh, right, yeah,
just like Andre wanted
813
00:36:11,545 --> 00:36:13,088
to make sure you were safe.
814
00:36:13,088 --> 00:36:16,008
You know what?
I know what you're doing.
815
00:36:16,008 --> 00:36:17,467
I know exactly
what you're doing.
816
00:36:17,467 --> 00:36:19,136
You're trying to do
one of those things
817
00:36:19,136 --> 00:36:22,639
where you make me evaluate
who I am as a person, right?
818
00:36:22,639 --> 00:36:24,433
That's what you're trying to do.
But guess what?
819
00:36:24,433 --> 00:36:26,059
I'm not gonna do that,
because who I am as a person
820
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,729
is who I'm okay with,
and I'm settled in.
821
00:36:30,689 --> 00:36:33,275
It's not working.
I'm gonna try one more time.
822
00:36:33,275 --> 00:36:34,610
Are you sure you're
punching in the right code?
823
00:36:34,610 --> 00:36:36,320
Of course, man.
It's your birthday,
824
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:38,280
like I'd ever forget that.
It's tattooed on my inner thigh.
825
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,157
I rub it every morning.
826
00:36:40,157 --> 00:36:41,450
- See what I'm dealing with?
- Okay.
827
00:36:41,450 --> 00:36:43,327
All the time,
this is what it is.
828
00:36:43,327 --> 00:36:45,203
It's not working.
Wait, wait, wait.
829
00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:46,997
Maybe the person who's
behind all of this
830
00:36:46,997 --> 00:36:48,498
changed the gate code.
831
00:36:48,624 --> 00:36:51,084
Wait,
and they think I'm dead.
832
00:36:51,084 --> 00:36:52,711
So maybe this is to
our advantage, right?
833
00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:54,087
Hm.
Maybe.
834
00:36:54,087 --> 00:36:56,214
Yeah, no, there's--
Oh, shit, security.
835
00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:57,716
It's security, Jordan.
Get in the back. Hide.
836
00:36:57,716 --> 00:36:59,259
Dude, maybe we just exit now.
Should I go now?
837
00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:00,594
No, no, no. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
838
00:37:00,594 --> 00:37:01,929
I should just--
I'm gonna leave.
839
00:37:01,929 --> 00:37:03,513
You have to leave.
Stop, stop, stop.
840
00:37:03,513 --> 00:37:05,349
Are you sure? He's huge.
He doesn't like me.
841
00:37:05,349 --> 00:37:06,892
Sir--
- Hey, what's going on?
842
00:37:06,892 --> 00:37:08,477
How are you, my man?
Nice to meet you.
843
00:37:08,477 --> 00:37:10,312
Are you aware you're trespassing
on private property?
844
00:37:10,312 --> 00:37:13,315
I did not.
I-- I was not aware, no.
845
00:37:13,315 --> 00:37:15,317
Please reverse out
and have a nice day.
846
00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:17,444
You got it, my man.
No, do not reverse.
847
00:37:17,444 --> 00:37:18,695
- You can't reverse.
- You know what?
848
00:37:18,695 --> 00:37:20,322
I'm not-- I can't--
849
00:37:20,322 --> 00:37:22,532
My boss actually
lives inside there.
850
00:37:22,532 --> 00:37:24,952
So if I can just jump in there
real quick, it'd be great.
851
00:37:24,952 --> 00:37:26,787
Reverse out now,
and no one has to get
852
00:37:26,787 --> 00:37:28,121
pumped full of electricity.
853
00:37:28,121 --> 00:37:29,998
Of course.
I'm positive no one needs that.
854
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:33,335
No, do not reverse.
Do not reverse.
855
00:37:33,335 --> 00:37:35,003
- Do not reverse.
- I'm not gonna reverse.
856
00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:36,588
Do not with me.
857
00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:40,092
He's bluffing.
- You're bluffing.
858
00:37:40,092 --> 00:37:42,135
I assure you,
I'm not bluffing.
859
00:37:43,470 --> 00:37:45,097
He's bluffing.
860
00:37:45,097 --> 00:37:47,516
- with him. He's bluffing.
- you. You're full of--
861
00:37:52,521 --> 00:37:53,897
Compliments of Mr. H.
862
00:37:55,565 --> 00:37:56,900
Well, I didn't tell him
to do that.
863
00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:58,276
Andre?
Is he okay?
864
00:37:58,276 --> 00:37:59,778
Andre? Andre?
865
00:38:05,742 --> 00:38:08,078
Hey, Andre, m-- maybe
one of us should just drive.
866
00:38:08,078 --> 00:38:10,080
No, you don't have
to worry about that. I got it.
867
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,749
- I got you, my man.
- Damn it.
868
00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:14,793
I got a crook in my neck
that's a .
869
00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:17,462
I-- I swear, I gotta get to
Nina so she can fix this.
870
00:38:17,462 --> 00:38:19,047
- Who's Nina?
- Kevin's full-time masseuse.
871
00:38:19,047 --> 00:38:20,465
She's my full-time masseuse.
872
00:38:20,465 --> 00:38:22,467
Of course.
873
00:38:22,467 --> 00:38:24,052
Oh, okay, well,
I'm glad that my life
874
00:38:24,052 --> 00:38:25,637
getting destroyed amuses you.
875
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:27,431
Well, didn't you basically
ask for all of this?
876
00:38:27,431 --> 00:38:28,807
No, I didn't
basically ask for all of this.
877
00:38:28,807 --> 00:38:31,018
I did not do that.
I asked for a movie.
878
00:38:31,018 --> 00:38:32,394
There's a big difference.
879
00:38:32,394 --> 00:38:34,229
A movie has cameras
and sound, lights.
880
00:38:34,229 --> 00:38:35,564
That's what that has in it.
881
00:38:35,564 --> 00:38:37,983
This is not the same,
not the same.
882
00:38:37,983 --> 00:38:39,526
We need to go to the police.
883
00:38:39,526 --> 00:38:41,528
No, no, we do not
need to go to police.
884
00:38:41,528 --> 00:38:44,322
Whoever this guy is, he thinks
that we're dead, right?
885
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:47,325
So we use that to
our advantage, okay?
886
00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:49,119
We make him think
th-- that we're not here.
887
00:38:49,119 --> 00:38:51,204
We disappear. We just gotta
figure out where to go.
888
00:38:51,204 --> 00:38:53,248
Man, this is where Natasha
would come in handy,
889
00:38:53,248 --> 00:38:54,916
'cause she would know exactly
where we should go.
890
00:38:54,916 --> 00:38:56,585
- And who the hell is Natasha?
- She handles--
891
00:38:56,585 --> 00:38:59,212
She's Kevin's Airbnb consultant.
892
00:38:59,212 --> 00:39:00,881
- This is getting ridiculous.
- Oh, my God.
893
00:39:00,881 --> 00:39:02,424
I know exactly where we can go
894
00:39:02,424 --> 00:39:04,009
where no one would
ever search for us.
895
00:39:05,469 --> 00:39:09,222
Who's in?
896
00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:10,974
Okay, make yourself at home.
897
00:39:10,974 --> 00:39:12,726
Uh, do you guys want
anything to drink?
898
00:39:12,726 --> 00:39:14,019
Kombucha, coffee, tea?
899
00:39:14,144 --> 00:39:16,188
Yes, yes,
kombucha would be great.
900
00:39:16,188 --> 00:39:17,439
I don't have it.
You called my bluff.
901
00:39:17,439 --> 00:39:19,149
I don't have kombucha.
I'm sorry.
902
00:39:19,149 --> 00:39:20,817
- No, water would be brilliant.
- Water is gonna be great.
903
00:39:20,942 --> 00:39:22,110
- Thank you, Andre.
- Fantastic.
904
00:39:22,110 --> 00:39:23,528
And you? You want some water?
905
00:39:23,528 --> 00:39:24,988
I'm not putting my mouth
on a cup of this house.
906
00:39:24,988 --> 00:39:26,406
Nice, nice.
907
00:39:26,406 --> 00:39:29,826
Jesus Christ,
you actually live here?
908
00:39:29,826 --> 00:39:31,828
Yeah, my little
slice of heaven.
909
00:39:31,828 --> 00:39:34,247
Ugh.
What was that?
910
00:39:34,247 --> 00:39:35,999
- I said, ugh.
- I love it.
911
00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:38,835
It's actually really charming.
Thank you.
912
00:39:38,835 --> 00:39:40,212
You know, my mom and I
are kind of always
913
00:39:40,212 --> 00:39:41,671
messing with the motif in here.
914
00:39:41,671 --> 00:39:43,465
Went through a huge
Southwestern phase.
915
00:39:43,465 --> 00:39:45,175
So much turquoise.
916
00:39:46,468 --> 00:39:48,053
So your mom
helped you decorate?
917
00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:50,138
Oh, yeah, big-time.
She's my roommate.
918
00:39:51,765 --> 00:39:53,725
- She's right there.
- You gotta be shitting me.
919
00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:55,227
No, no, no, don't be afraid.
920
00:39:55,227 --> 00:39:56,812
Don't be afraid.
Watch this.
921
00:39:56,812 --> 00:39:57,979
You want to meet her?
No, I don't have to.
922
00:39:57,979 --> 00:39:59,564
Here we go.
Mom, you're okay?
923
00:39:59,564 --> 00:40:01,525
Your mouth was open real wide.
Oh, my God.
924
00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:06,113
- Oh, my. Oh, my.
- Don't charge me.
925
00:40:06,113 --> 00:40:08,281
Oh, my God.
Fix your bra.
926
00:40:08,281 --> 00:40:13,078
It's-- it's Kevin Hart,
America's treasure.
927
00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:14,704
It's a family...
No, you don't have to--
928
00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:16,081
Oh!
929
00:40:16,081 --> 00:40:18,416
And-- and Jordan King.
930
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:20,210
Or should I call you Wheezy?
931
00:40:20,210 --> 00:40:22,045
No,
that's just a role
932
00:40:22,045 --> 00:40:24,047
I'm not paid
nearly enough to play.
933
00:40:24,047 --> 00:40:25,507
Uh, "Jordan" is fine.
934
00:40:25,507 --> 00:40:27,467
Come here.
I gotta squeeze ya.
935
00:40:27,467 --> 00:40:29,302
Come here. Oh!
936
00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:32,013
You two gotta eat.
We're gonna have a feast.
937
00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:33,473
Andre, go to the freezer.
938
00:40:33,473 --> 00:40:35,183
We're gonna defrost
the Christmas pork chop.
939
00:40:35,183 --> 00:40:37,227
We're doing
the Christmas pork chops?
940
00:40:37,227 --> 00:40:38,645
We've been waiting
for this for, like, six years.
941
00:40:38,645 --> 00:40:40,438
I don't think
we have that much time.
942
00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:42,190
You don't have to do that. We
don't want to steal your meat.
943
00:40:42,190 --> 00:40:43,441
- We have plenty of time.
- You gotta save that meat.
944
00:40:43,441 --> 00:40:44,860
You're eating my meat.
945
00:40:44,985 --> 00:40:46,403
Tell him, mom.
Tell him!
946
00:40:46,403 --> 00:40:47,904
- No, no, no, no.
- You're gonna want my meat.
947
00:40:47,904 --> 00:40:49,156
No, we don't want your meat.
948
00:40:49,156 --> 00:40:50,532
People talk about it
all the time.
949
00:40:50,532 --> 00:40:52,117
- Well, we don't--
- Did you hurt yourself?
950
00:40:52,117 --> 00:40:53,368
This is not--
- Did you know there was--
951
00:40:53,368 --> 00:40:55,370
Ah, shit, woman!
952
00:40:55,370 --> 00:40:57,455
Did you know
there was blood there?
953
00:40:57,455 --> 00:40:59,791
- Yeah-- Ow, ow!
- And up here?
954
00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:02,002
- Stop.
- God, you are Kevin Hart.
955
00:41:02,002 --> 00:41:04,546
You can't walk around
with bloody clothes on.
956
00:41:04,546 --> 00:41:06,840
You're too sophisticated.
Take your shirt off.
957
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:08,175
- Come on, I'm gonna wash it.
- That's alright.
958
00:41:08,175 --> 00:41:09,926
I'm already doing a bloody load.
959
00:41:09,926 --> 00:41:11,636
Come on, take it off. Come on.
960
00:41:11,636 --> 00:41:12,971
Take it off, Kevin.
What are we doing?
961
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:14,598
Yeah.
Come on.
962
00:41:14,598 --> 00:41:15,891
So nice of you.
- Somebody's got a cute tummy.
963
00:41:17,517 --> 00:41:19,060
Come on, that's a lie.
- Mom, look at him.
964
00:41:19,186 --> 00:41:20,395
Remember, I was telling you
about his belly button?
965
00:41:20,395 --> 00:41:21,563
It's right there, mom.
You got it.
966
00:41:21,563 --> 00:41:23,064
Take my chance.
967
00:41:23,064 --> 00:41:25,192
Oh, god. Let me just--
Please, let me get it.
968
00:41:25,192 --> 00:41:27,110
Stop it, please.
Oh my goodness.
969
00:41:27,110 --> 00:41:29,112
Thank you. You got--
- Oh, that's--
970
00:41:29,112 --> 00:41:31,364
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Well, that hit my eyes.
971
00:41:31,364 --> 00:41:33,617
That is-- that is--
972
00:41:33,617 --> 00:41:35,493
- That's a man right there.
- Yeah, we were filming.
973
00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:37,120
That is good.
- We're doing an improv action--
974
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:38,830
I can't believe he's in
our house. I love you so much.
975
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:40,832
...movie where
basically all of the action...
976
00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:45,170
- Such nice people.
- Nice people?
977
00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:47,047
- Who?
- You're so mean.
978
00:41:47,047 --> 00:41:49,299
How can you be mean to this guy?
Look at him.
979
00:41:49,424 --> 00:41:53,803
He might be the nicest, sweetest
person I've ever encountered.
980
00:41:53,803 --> 00:41:56,431
How could you fire him?
981
00:41:56,431 --> 00:41:57,891
You want me to start
at the beginning? I don't know.
982
00:41:57,891 --> 00:42:00,393
Maybe because he doesn't
respect boundaries.
983
00:42:00,393 --> 00:42:03,772
- He cares about you.
- Oh, you just stop it.
984
00:42:03,772 --> 00:42:06,024
The man clipped my goddamn
toenails one time...
985
00:42:07,484 --> 00:42:10,362
while I was in bed...
with a woman.
986
00:42:11,947 --> 00:42:15,367
Exactly. Struggling, by the way,
to perform.
987
00:42:15,367 --> 00:42:18,245
Had a lot on my mind,
a lot on my mind.
988
00:42:18,245 --> 00:42:20,080
Brown gummy worm
was in full effect.
989
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:21,873
- I don't want to know this.
- Loose noodle.
990
00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:23,375
Call it what you want.
I looked down.
991
00:42:23,375 --> 00:42:25,627
I see his face looking up at me.
Now I got no shot.
992
00:42:25,627 --> 00:42:28,213
Okay, thank you for the context.
993
00:42:28,213 --> 00:42:30,507
Just giving you--
giving you a play-by-play.
994
00:42:30,507 --> 00:42:35,512
But listen, when I go to set,
it's me acting, right?
995
00:42:35,512 --> 00:42:40,725
But to get there, I've got reps,
my dialect coach, my assistant.
996
00:42:40,725 --> 00:42:42,352
And then there's
personal trainer,
997
00:42:42,352 --> 00:42:45,689
hair stylists, makeup artists.
The-- the list goes on.
998
00:42:45,689 --> 00:42:49,192
And then there's family and
friends who have supported me
999
00:42:49,192 --> 00:42:51,611
and sacrificed for me.
1000
00:42:51,611 --> 00:42:53,196
I'm sorry. I got lost
in what you were saying
1001
00:42:53,196 --> 00:42:54,739
'cause I felt it was bullshit.
1002
00:42:54,864 --> 00:42:57,367
You have that, too, Kevin,
and then some, okay?
1003
00:42:57,367 --> 00:42:58,827
It's why you're a star.
1004
00:42:58,827 --> 00:43:00,328
No, that's not true.
1005
00:43:00,328 --> 00:43:04,082
I'm a star because I made
myself a star with this.
1006
00:43:04,082 --> 00:43:07,544
Sure, yeah, that's the story
you keep telling yourself,
1007
00:43:07,544 --> 00:43:09,004
but you had help.
1008
00:43:09,004 --> 00:43:11,089
Okay.
1009
00:43:11,089 --> 00:43:12,882
Hey, how are you guys doing?
1010
00:43:12,882 --> 00:43:14,843
The pork chops
are smelling
1011
00:43:14,843 --> 00:43:17,053
so much like shrimp right now,
it's amazing.
1012
00:43:17,053 --> 00:43:18,471
I got you a shirt, my man.
1013
00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:20,765
I think it'll fit perfectly, okay?
1014
00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:22,434
Do you see it?
Nice.
1015
00:43:22,434 --> 00:43:24,019
Yeah,
I made that myself.
1016
00:43:24,144 --> 00:43:26,271
Okay, thank you for that.
1017
00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:30,859
Ah, I wanted to ask you earlier,
but I didn't get a chance to.
1018
00:43:30,984 --> 00:43:32,402
Who's-- who's that?
1019
00:43:32,402 --> 00:43:33,903
- This one?
- Yeah.
1020
00:43:33,903 --> 00:43:36,406
That's my dad.
He's been gone a long time.
1021
00:43:38,033 --> 00:43:39,326
- Really?
- Yeah.
1022
00:43:39,326 --> 00:43:41,077
Same.
1023
00:43:41,077 --> 00:43:42,412
Hey, you know, my mom raised me.
1024
00:43:42,412 --> 00:43:44,331
I know.
1025
00:43:44,331 --> 00:43:46,916
Did your dad, uh,
get a little afraid
1026
00:43:46,916 --> 00:43:48,752
of parenthood and run off?
1027
00:43:48,752 --> 00:43:50,086
It wasn't anything
like that, actually.
1028
00:43:50,086 --> 00:43:52,172
He was amazing.
He was kind.
1029
00:43:52,172 --> 00:43:53,673
Uh, he was gentle.
1030
00:43:53,673 --> 00:43:56,426
By the way,
Richard Pryor's assistant.
1031
00:43:56,426 --> 00:43:58,136
Your dad is Rich...
1032
00:43:58,136 --> 00:43:59,471
I guess
you could say assisting
1033
00:43:59,471 --> 00:44:00,805
just runs in the family, right?
1034
00:44:00,805 --> 00:44:02,599
Wow. That's legendary, man.
1035
00:44:02,599 --> 00:44:04,184
- It is, right?
- That's huge.
1036
00:44:04,184 --> 00:44:06,895
It's huge,
until it killed him.
1037
00:44:06,895 --> 00:44:08,772
What do you mean?
1038
00:44:08,772 --> 00:44:12,984
It's a big show, and crazy fan
got through security.
1039
00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:16,071
So my dad jumped in
the way of a knife
1040
00:44:16,071 --> 00:44:17,572
that was meant
for Richard Pryor.
1041
00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:19,491
You're playing.
No.
1042
00:44:19,491 --> 00:44:20,992
- Cut him from the stomach--
- What?
1043
00:44:20,992 --> 00:44:22,369
Right up, back down.
1044
00:44:22,369 --> 00:44:23,912
- What?
- Killed my dad on the spot.
1045
00:44:23,912 --> 00:44:25,914
Oh, my God, man.
1046
00:44:25,914 --> 00:44:27,707
I can't.
I can't process that.
1047
00:44:27,707 --> 00:44:29,709
Neither could I. It was enormous
for our whole family.
1048
00:44:29,709 --> 00:44:32,379
Why would somebody
want to kill Richard Pryor?
1049
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:35,632
Huh?
1050
00:44:35,632 --> 00:44:38,176
Who?
Well, yeah, why?
1051
00:44:38,176 --> 00:44:40,178
That's crazy, right?
1052
00:44:40,303 --> 00:44:41,846
Yeah.
I bet, by the way--
1053
00:44:41,846 --> 00:44:43,848
I bet my dad, when he
was dying, was looking up
1054
00:44:43,848 --> 00:44:46,184
and was like, Why would you do
this, or something like that.
1055
00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:48,269
- Has to be, right?
- Maybe, maybe. Maybe not.
1056
00:44:48,269 --> 00:44:49,854
I mean, at that point,
that's not what's important.
1057
00:44:49,854 --> 00:44:51,064
Somebody tried to kill Richard.
1058
00:44:51,064 --> 00:44:52,440
Right, my dad was already dead.
1059
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:53,817
The thing we gotta
worry about is...
1060
00:44:53,817 --> 00:44:55,110
- Who is this guy?
- God's gonna do--
1061
00:44:55,110 --> 00:44:56,444
Are there more of 'em?
Yeah.
1062
00:44:56,444 --> 00:44:58,154
- Okay? You can't rewrite that.
- No.
1063
00:44:58,154 --> 00:44:59,697
No, we can't.
I tried to.
1064
00:44:59,823 --> 00:45:01,408
God, I've been
to so much therapy
1065
00:45:01,408 --> 00:45:03,952
trying to rewrite that moment.
What could I have done?
1066
00:45:03,952 --> 00:45:05,745
I was a child, but maybe I
could have jumped in the way,
1067
00:45:05,745 --> 00:45:08,415
or something like that.
Yeah.
1068
00:45:08,415 --> 00:45:10,375
On the bright side, though,
if you think about it,
1069
00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:14,129
he died doing what he
loved the most, assisting.
1070
00:45:14,129 --> 00:45:16,423
He was so happy
that he brought joy
1071
00:45:16,423 --> 00:45:20,176
to someone who brought joy
to so many people.
1072
00:45:20,176 --> 00:45:22,137
He taught me every
single thing I knew.
1073
00:45:25,306 --> 00:45:27,767
You know, man, maybe--
1074
00:45:27,767 --> 00:45:30,437
Maybe I didn't mean to fire you.
1075
00:45:30,437 --> 00:45:34,315
I think your exact words were,
I didn't need a stunt man.
1076
00:45:34,315 --> 00:45:36,693
I sure as hell
don't need an assistant.
1077
00:45:36,693 --> 00:45:38,319
You said it to me.
You yelled it.
1078
00:45:38,319 --> 00:45:41,573
And then you told me
to get out of your car, right?
1079
00:45:41,573 --> 00:45:43,783
Oh, no, you're absolutely--
You're-- you're right.
1080
00:45:43,783 --> 00:45:45,994
But I'm just saying,
now, looking back,
1081
00:45:45,994 --> 00:45:48,580
I'm saying, maybe I do--
1082
00:45:48,705 --> 00:45:52,709
Maybe I still do
need an assistant.
1083
00:45:52,709 --> 00:45:54,669
Oh, God. Alright?
1084
00:45:56,087 --> 00:45:57,797
- I need you, too.
- No--
1085
00:45:57,797 --> 00:46:00,300
- I need you, too.
- Not the same.
1086
00:46:00,425 --> 00:46:02,802
- Oh, .
- Yeah.
1087
00:46:02,802 --> 00:46:04,804
I have never been this hard.
1088
00:46:04,804 --> 00:46:06,264
Alright, I'm gonna
tell my mom.
1089
00:46:06,264 --> 00:46:08,433
Mom, you'll never believe it!
1090
00:46:08,433 --> 00:46:09,934
Congratulations.
1091
00:46:12,312 --> 00:46:13,897
Something else, huh?
1092
00:46:19,903 --> 00:46:21,404
I'm proud of you.
- Shut up.
1093
00:46:23,490 --> 00:46:25,116
You know, if you start
treating everyone
1094
00:46:25,116 --> 00:46:27,243
in the Kevin Hart universe
with that level of respect,
1095
00:46:27,243 --> 00:46:29,996
I think you'll be happy
with your life.
1096
00:46:29,996 --> 00:46:31,915
You really are
something else.
1097
00:46:31,915 --> 00:46:33,833
I mean, you paint me out
to be such a monster.
1098
00:46:33,833 --> 00:46:37,587
Name one other person that
I have disrespected, just one.
1099
00:46:37,587 --> 00:46:39,005
Give me one.
1100
00:46:40,924 --> 00:46:42,759
I can absolutely
name someone.
1101
00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:48,264
Hey, Jordan.
- Yeah, hi.
1102
00:46:48,264 --> 00:46:49,766
I just looked
at the call sheet.
1103
00:46:49,766 --> 00:46:51,100
I didn't see your
stunt double on there.
1104
00:46:51,226 --> 00:46:53,561
- Oh, I sent her home.
- Why?
1105
00:46:53,561 --> 00:46:55,772
Well, I grew up on motorcycles,
and it's a simple one today.
1106
00:46:55,772 --> 00:46:57,315
I just have to drive
through the glass
1107
00:46:57,315 --> 00:46:58,733
of a dry-cleaning business
before it explodes.
1108
00:46:58,733 --> 00:47:00,693
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
1109
00:47:00,693 --> 00:47:03,905
Simple for who? Who?
Who's it simple for, you?
1110
00:47:03,905 --> 00:47:05,865
Well, that's what
you have Doug for?
1111
00:47:05,865 --> 00:47:07,283
Do you know what
this would look like if you go
1112
00:47:07,283 --> 00:47:09,327
do all your own stunts
and I don't do mine?
1113
00:47:09,327 --> 00:47:11,246
Do you know what people
will think of me?
1114
00:47:11,246 --> 00:47:13,164
Uh, they'll think
you're an actor?
1115
00:47:13,164 --> 00:47:14,749
And listen, I'm not jumping
off the cliff.
1116
00:47:14,749 --> 00:47:16,167
I'm not jumping out
of a plane,
1117
00:47:16,167 --> 00:47:17,627
and I ain't fighting no
alligator for anyone.
1118
00:47:17,627 --> 00:47:19,212
You don't think
I can do my own stunts.
1119
00:47:19,212 --> 00:47:20,880
You don't think
I'm tough enough?
1120
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,591
That's what Doug is for,
for exactly this thing.
1121
00:47:23,591 --> 00:47:25,552
You think I need Doug?
1122
00:47:25,552 --> 00:47:27,303
Absolutely.
1123
00:47:27,303 --> 00:47:28,846
Maybe I don't.
1124
00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:30,515
Maybe I don't need Doug.
1125
00:47:32,267 --> 00:47:33,685
I think he just heard you.
1126
00:47:37,188 --> 00:47:39,315
Hey, Doug.
1127
00:47:39,315 --> 00:47:40,900
I'm gonna go talk to Doug.
1128
00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:43,653
Kevin.
1129
00:47:43,653 --> 00:47:47,282
Hey,
there he is, my guy.
1130
00:47:47,282 --> 00:47:49,200
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
1131
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,579
You ain't gonna
believe this shit.
1132
00:47:52,704 --> 00:47:54,163
I'm talking to Jordan.
1133
00:47:54,163 --> 00:47:56,165
I just found out Jordan
sent her stunt double home.
1134
00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:57,625
You know what she trying to do.
1135
00:47:57,625 --> 00:47:59,294
You know exactly what
she trying to do.
1136
00:47:59,294 --> 00:48:01,212
She trying to show me up,
and I'm not gonna have that.
1137
00:48:01,212 --> 00:48:03,965
I can't have that.
I'm Kevin Hart, right?
1138
00:48:06,092 --> 00:48:08,094
So, here's the thing, right?
1139
00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:09,971
Let's get into
this relationship
1140
00:48:09,971 --> 00:48:11,472
'cause it's one of the best
that I've ever had.
1141
00:48:11,472 --> 00:48:13,099
How long you been with me, man?
1142
00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:14,559
Damn, that long, huh?
1143
00:48:14,559 --> 00:48:16,436
It's been a long time.
1144
00:48:16,436 --> 00:48:17,812
I know you gonna be fine,
1145
00:48:17,812 --> 00:48:19,314
and it's time for you
to fly, right?
1146
00:48:19,314 --> 00:48:22,900
So with that being said,
uh, we're done.
1147
00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,944
I-- I'm gonna go ahead and--
1148
00:48:24,944 --> 00:48:27,989
Is "fired" the word, I guess?
I guess it is "fired."
1149
00:48:27,989 --> 00:48:29,949
So I'mma fire you, but in a,
1150
00:48:29,949 --> 00:48:32,994
but in a dope way
to where we still cool.
1151
00:48:32,994 --> 00:48:34,829
I-- I'm gonna go on
and get ready.
1152
00:48:36,414 --> 00:48:38,041
My guy!
1153
00:48:38,041 --> 00:48:40,418
- It's stunt time.
- Kevin, this is a terrible--
1154
00:48:40,543 --> 00:48:42,337
It's stunt time!
1155
00:48:42,337 --> 00:48:44,213
Listen, I'm not
trying to show you up.
1156
00:48:44,213 --> 00:48:46,424
Hey!
Enough, Jordan.
1157
00:48:46,424 --> 00:48:49,802
It's all good,
Mr. Action Star.
1158
00:48:54,682 --> 00:48:56,643
Now, you listen to me, alright?
1159
00:48:56,643 --> 00:48:58,603
I've been in this
business for goddamn--
1160
00:48:58,603 --> 00:49:00,480
goddamn, how long?
1161
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,106
How long?
1162
00:49:02,106 --> 00:49:04,233
You telling me that
my goddamn reputation
1163
00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:06,361
doesn't speak for myself?
1164
00:49:06,361 --> 00:49:07,987
It should!
1165
00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:11,991
When-- when does Cap Four shoot?
1166
00:49:11,991 --> 00:49:14,160
Does Mackie have a guy?
1167
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:15,787
He does. He gets it.
1168
00:49:15,787 --> 00:49:17,413
Everybody's got
a guy, huh?
1169
00:49:17,413 --> 00:49:21,000
What about Adam Driver?
Now, you said he's billed. Huh?
1170
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,919
Listen, I can do work for him.
1171
00:49:22,919 --> 00:49:26,005
I-- I can be Adam's driver, right?
1172
00:49:26,005 --> 00:49:28,007
Yeah, no, listen,
I'm serious about that.
1173
00:49:28,007 --> 00:49:30,802
I don't give a .
I'll drive.
1174
00:49:30,802 --> 00:49:34,514
I-- I'll be Adam's driver
driver driver if I have to.
1175
00:49:34,514 --> 00:49:37,433
God damn it Scott!--
you!
1176
00:49:37,433 --> 00:49:40,269
I've been in the goddamn
business for years.
1177
00:50:15,847 --> 00:50:17,348
You know what?
1178
00:50:17,348 --> 00:50:19,350
This is my me time.
I really enjoy working.
1179
00:50:19,350 --> 00:50:22,270
I find a lot of peace,
happiness,
1180
00:50:22,270 --> 00:50:25,064
and, uh, solace in creating.
1181
00:50:25,064 --> 00:50:28,359
And now my creating is
about putting other people
1182
00:50:28,359 --> 00:50:31,738
in positions to win,
um, amplifying other careers
1183
00:50:31,863 --> 00:50:33,239
and opportunities,
not just me.
1184
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:35,658
So, hopefully,
it continues to grow.
1185
00:50:35,783 --> 00:50:36,993
I can't believe
that my stuntman
1186
00:50:36,993 --> 00:50:38,703
would do this to me.
1187
00:50:38,703 --> 00:50:40,163
Ex-stuntman.
1188
00:50:40,163 --> 00:50:43,040
No, I gotta do
something about this-- Oh.
1189
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:44,375
Oh, whoa, whoa, Kevin.
1190
00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:46,836
Uh-oh. Oh, no.
Let mom look at this.
1191
00:50:46,836 --> 00:50:48,171
Hold on. Oh.
1192
00:50:48,171 --> 00:50:49,714
Oh, we gotta change
this dressing.
1193
00:50:49,714 --> 00:50:51,007
Take him to the bedroom.
1194
00:50:51,007 --> 00:50:52,425
- Prop him up.
- Here we go.
1195
00:50:52,425 --> 00:50:53,843
- Get some wet towels.
- Here we go.
1196
00:50:53,843 --> 00:50:55,303
Shouldn't he go
to a hospital?
1197
00:50:55,303 --> 00:50:57,138
No.
I'll get him back on track.
1198
00:50:57,263 --> 00:50:59,056
It's what I do.
1199
00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:00,683
Wait, you're a doctor?
1200
00:51:00,683 --> 00:51:02,518
I'm better than a doctor.
1201
00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:04,645
I'm a mom.
1202
00:51:04,645 --> 00:51:06,189
Left, right, left, right.
1203
00:51:08,357 --> 00:51:09,692
He's gonna be fine.
1204
00:51:09,692 --> 00:51:11,986
My mom is a miracle-worker.
1205
00:51:11,986 --> 00:51:13,696
How about you?
Are you okay?
1206
00:51:13,696 --> 00:51:16,699
Uh... Well, not really.
This is my problem, too.
1207
00:51:16,824 --> 00:51:19,494
Doug probably blames me
for losing his job.
1208
00:51:19,494 --> 00:51:21,996
That's why he's put me in
this deadly little game of his,
1209
00:51:21,996 --> 00:51:23,331
just for payback.
1210
00:51:23,331 --> 00:51:25,166
Yeah.
Okay, that's fine, then.
1211
00:51:25,166 --> 00:51:26,834
When Kevin gets back
to full health,
1212
00:51:26,834 --> 00:51:28,795
he will think of an
incredible plan for all of us.
1213
00:51:28,795 --> 00:51:30,630
No, no, that.
We can't just sit here.
1214
00:51:30,630 --> 00:51:33,382
We need to do something. We need
to get to the bottom of this.
1215
00:51:33,382 --> 00:51:35,134
Who is the person
Kevin trusts the most?
1216
00:51:35,134 --> 00:51:36,844
- His agent.
- Really?
1217
00:51:36,844 --> 00:51:38,763
Yeah.
1218
00:51:38,763 --> 00:51:40,431
Let's pay them a visit.
1219
00:51:40,431 --> 00:51:42,266
Right now?
We can't go right now.
1220
00:51:42,266 --> 00:51:44,769
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Jordan, we can't go right now.
1221
00:51:44,769 --> 00:51:46,187
But what about this?
What about this?
1222
00:51:46,187 --> 00:51:47,688
You're famous, Jordan.
You get in there,
1223
00:51:47,688 --> 00:51:49,524
they're gonna recognize you.
That's a problem.
1224
00:51:49,524 --> 00:51:52,652
Second is, Doug actually thinks
that you're dead, right?
1225
00:51:52,652 --> 00:51:54,946
- You blew up.
- Shit, you're right.
1226
00:51:56,614 --> 00:51:58,324
Oh, my God, I just thought
of something amazing.
1227
00:51:58,324 --> 00:52:00,576
Thank me.
Thank me now.
1228
00:52:00,576 --> 00:52:01,953
Let me hear it first?
1229
00:52:01,953 --> 00:52:03,329
Smart.
That's a smart move, okay?
1230
00:52:03,329 --> 00:52:04,997
In the back, there's a disguise.
1231
00:52:04,997 --> 00:52:06,457
I always keep a spare disguise
for Kevin in the back.
1232
00:52:06,582 --> 00:52:07,959
Grab that bag real quick.
1233
00:52:07,959 --> 00:52:10,711
- You have spare disguises?
- Yes.
1234
00:52:10,711 --> 00:52:13,714
I mean, sometimes Kevin likes
to live anonymously, right?
1235
00:52:13,714 --> 00:52:16,884
Whether he wants to go grocery
shopping, feed the ducks,
1236
00:52:16,884 --> 00:52:18,469
heckle a stranger.
1237
00:52:20,388 --> 00:52:23,975
Yeah, I'm not wearing this.
1238
00:52:23,975 --> 00:52:26,227
Come on. Did you see
all of them real quick?
1239
00:52:26,227 --> 00:52:28,020
Like this one right here, okay?
This one right here--
1240
00:52:28,020 --> 00:52:29,772
- Andre, the road!
- I'm doing it.
1241
00:52:29,772 --> 00:52:31,440
It's a hard left
with my knees, baby.
1242
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,150
Look at this.
1243
00:52:39,574 --> 00:52:42,201
This is so embarrassing.
1244
00:52:42,201 --> 00:52:44,203
We're lucky that
you and Kevin are the same size,
1245
00:52:44,203 --> 00:52:45,913
you know what I mean?
1246
00:52:45,913 --> 00:52:48,082
Think about this as your
greatest acting role to date.
1247
00:52:48,082 --> 00:52:50,084
You got this.
You got this!
1248
00:52:53,004 --> 00:52:54,380
That's fantastic.
Okay, and--
1249
00:52:56,257 --> 00:53:00,428
Uh, we're here to see,
ahem, Scott Hayman.
1250
00:53:00,428 --> 00:53:01,762
Okay.
1251
00:53:04,015 --> 00:53:05,892
And you are?
1252
00:53:05,892 --> 00:53:08,769
Ronald Mondolvia III!
1253
00:53:08,769 --> 00:53:10,688
A pleasure to meet you.
1254
00:53:10,688 --> 00:53:12,940
And this is the
wickedly talented--
1255
00:53:14,567 --> 00:53:16,611
Bill.
My name is Bill.
1256
00:53:18,696 --> 00:53:21,574
Bill Mondolvia.
We're both Mondolvians.
1257
00:53:21,574 --> 00:53:25,286
This is my uncle
on my mama's side.
1258
00:53:25,286 --> 00:53:27,997
Shit-, can this man
cook a goose.
1259
00:53:32,084 --> 00:53:33,419
What was all that before?
1260
00:53:33,544 --> 00:53:35,129
Mondolvia...
That's nobody's surname.
1261
00:53:35,129 --> 00:53:36,756
What do you expect, okay?
1262
00:53:36,756 --> 00:53:39,550
I couldn't concentrate.
Your accent was insane.
1263
00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:42,470
- My accent?
- Yes. "Blah, blah, blah."
1264
00:53:42,470 --> 00:53:44,680
Okay, it wasn't great,
but I mean--
1265
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,307
- My accent? I nailed my accent.
- It doesn't matter.
1266
00:53:46,307 --> 00:53:48,017
It doesn't matter,
because there's no way
1267
00:53:48,017 --> 00:53:50,478
they're letting us go back
to see Kevin's agent, okay?
1268
00:53:50,478 --> 00:53:51,979
They've probably
already called security.
1269
00:53:51,979 --> 00:53:53,648
So if security comes,
1270
00:53:53,648 --> 00:53:55,983
we just pretend to
be Ronald and Bill Mondolvia,
1271
00:53:55,983 --> 00:53:57,985
the very famous
Instagram influencers
1272
00:53:57,985 --> 00:53:59,695
who make unboxing videos.
1273
00:53:59,695 --> 00:54:01,155
What is this?
1274
00:54:01,155 --> 00:54:02,657
We unbox it, and it's
a smaller box, okay?
1275
00:54:02,657 --> 00:54:05,076
No, no, no.
She's going to the loo.
1276
00:54:05,076 --> 00:54:06,911
I don't think that Bill
would call it the loo.
1277
00:54:06,911 --> 00:54:08,371
I feel like
he's more old-school.
1278
00:54:08,371 --> 00:54:10,247
I feel like she's
about to take a shit.
1279
00:54:12,583 --> 00:54:13,918
Play it cool.
1280
00:54:15,586 --> 00:54:17,338
Like and subscribe, please!
1281
00:54:20,049 --> 00:54:22,009
Stop, stop, stop.
Right there, right there.
1282
00:54:22,009 --> 00:54:23,970
Right there,
that's Kevin's agent.
1283
00:54:23,970 --> 00:54:25,680
Who is he talking to?
1284
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,809
How are you doing, man?
1285
00:54:29,809 --> 00:54:31,769
It's not Kevin.
1286
00:54:37,483 --> 00:54:39,819
Try not to move.
1287
00:54:39,944 --> 00:54:41,988
Mr. Kevin Hart needs
to regain his strength.
1288
00:54:43,531 --> 00:54:49,370
As long as it takes,
you'll be here in my house,
1289
00:54:49,370 --> 00:54:54,875
listening to my stories,
eating my Christmas pork chops.
1290
00:55:01,090 --> 00:55:05,886
When my husband was wounded
years ago, I couldn't save him,
1291
00:55:05,886 --> 00:55:09,015
but now I've got a
second chance with you,
1292
00:55:09,015 --> 00:55:12,184
Kevin Hart, America's treasure.
1293
00:55:14,478 --> 00:55:16,063
Cynthia's treasure.
1294
00:55:20,192 --> 00:55:21,318
Hello?
1295
00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:22,903
Mom, mom, put Kevin on.
1296
00:55:22,903 --> 00:55:24,530
I can't.
He's sleeping.
1297
00:55:24,530 --> 00:55:26,157
It's an emergency.
Put him on right now, mom.
1298
00:55:26,157 --> 00:55:28,242
Come on, wake him up.
1299
00:55:28,242 --> 00:55:29,994
Hello?
1300
00:55:29,994 --> 00:55:32,246
Are you here to rescue me?
I think I've been poisoned.
1301
00:55:32,246 --> 00:55:34,081
Kevin, listen up
very closely, okay?
1302
00:55:34,081 --> 00:55:35,666
We've just been on a deep-cover
1303
00:55:35,666 --> 00:55:37,293
reconnaissance mission,
and we nailed it.
1304
00:55:37,293 --> 00:55:39,253
Doug is you.
You've been replaced by Doug.
1305
00:55:39,253 --> 00:55:41,672
Wait, what?
Replaced? I don't understand.
1306
00:55:41,672 --> 00:55:43,215
That's because my mommy
just gave you
1307
00:55:43,215 --> 00:55:45,593
a very low-dose narcotic.
Don't worry about it.
1308
00:55:45,593 --> 00:55:47,887
But when you come to,
you have to understand
1309
00:55:47,887 --> 00:55:50,431
that Doug is trying to convince
people that he's you.
1310
00:55:50,431 --> 00:55:52,266
He's fixed his teeth.
He's changed his hair.
1311
00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:56,520
I mean, his mannerisms...
Oh, my God, he's-- he's you.
1312
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,773
Yeah, well,
he can't fool my staff.
1313
00:55:58,773 --> 00:56:00,357
They'll know it's not me.
1314
00:56:00,357 --> 00:56:02,026
They're my village.
1315
00:56:03,903 --> 00:56:07,281
You get a raise.
You get a raise.
1316
00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:08,657
You get a raise.
1317
00:56:08,783 --> 00:56:11,243
That's right, everybody
gets a raise, huh?
1318
00:56:11,243 --> 00:56:13,412
You know why?
'Cause I'm Kevin.
1319
00:56:13,412 --> 00:56:15,456
I'm Kevin!
1320
00:56:15,456 --> 00:56:17,374
Sorry, Kevin
is suddenly very tired.
1321
00:56:17,374 --> 00:56:19,001
He needs his rest.
No, no, no, no.
1322
00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:20,294
Mom, no--
Bye.
1323
00:56:26,509 --> 00:56:28,636
If Kevin wants
to get through to Doug,
1324
00:56:28,636 --> 00:56:33,140
there's only one man
he can talk to, Mr. 206.
1325
00:56:33,265 --> 00:56:35,017
I don't--
Who's-- who's Mr. 206?
1326
00:56:35,142 --> 00:56:36,644
He's a pretty
famous stuntman,
1327
00:56:36,644 --> 00:56:38,312
and he's Doug's mentor.
1328
00:56:38,312 --> 00:56:40,606
Okay. Okay, fine,
then this is easy.
1329
00:56:40,606 --> 00:56:42,691
We just take Kevin
to see Mr. 206.
1330
00:56:42,691 --> 00:56:44,527
We?
Nope, no way.
1331
00:56:44,527 --> 00:56:47,488
I will not be going to see 206.
1332
00:56:47,488 --> 00:56:49,448
He is a complete psychopath.
1333
00:56:49,448 --> 00:56:51,033
He nearly killed me
in a stunt rehearsal
1334
00:56:51,033 --> 00:56:52,743
and then tried to
make me apologize.
1335
00:56:52,743 --> 00:56:54,411
Jordan, Jordan,
Kevin needs you right now.
1336
00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:55,996
He needs me?
- He does, right now.
1337
00:56:55,996 --> 00:56:57,832
Oh, I thought Kevin
doesn't need anyone,
1338
00:56:57,832 --> 00:57:00,126
until he needs everyone.
1339
00:57:00,126 --> 00:57:03,796
Okay, fine, then
I'll take him to see Mr. 206.
1340
00:57:03,796 --> 00:57:05,214
Why?
This is Kevin's problem.
1341
00:57:05,214 --> 00:57:06,799
You should just let him
go on his own.
1342
00:57:06,799 --> 00:57:09,802
No. As long as
I'm Kevin's assistant...
1343
00:57:11,095 --> 00:57:13,013
he'll never drive
himself anywhere.
1344
00:57:15,933 --> 00:57:17,393
- It's in neutral.
- I am so sorry.
1345
00:57:17,393 --> 00:57:19,687
We're slowing down.
I was trying to go faster.
1346
00:57:19,687 --> 00:57:21,188
We did the opposite.
1347
00:57:34,368 --> 00:57:37,204
I am so happy my mom was able
to nurse you back to health.
1348
00:57:37,204 --> 00:57:38,789
What did you just say to me?
1349
00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:41,208
The woman put drugs
in my goddamn pork chop.
1350
00:57:41,208 --> 00:57:43,961
- She tried to poison me.
- She's amazing, right?
1351
00:57:43,961 --> 00:57:46,755
Look at you now.
Okay, come on, come on.
1352
00:57:46,755 --> 00:57:48,757
So tell me,
why do they call him 206?
1353
00:57:48,757 --> 00:57:51,010
'Cause there's 206 bones
in the human body.
1354
00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:52,970
They say, before he became
a mentor in the stunt game,
1355
00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:54,346
that he broke every
single one of 'em.
1356
00:57:54,346 --> 00:57:55,931
Actually, no, it was 205.
1357
00:57:55,931 --> 00:57:57,099
But then, on his
last day of filming,
1358
00:57:57,224 --> 00:57:58,809
they say he broke the 206th one.
1359
00:57:58,809 --> 00:58:00,269
What?
Which one was that?
1360
00:58:00,269 --> 00:58:01,937
Pinky toe, right foot, snapped.
1361
00:58:01,937 --> 00:58:03,230
Goddamn.
1362
00:58:06,734 --> 00:58:09,278
Uh, hello?
1363
00:58:11,322 --> 00:58:13,199
Uh, 206?
1364
00:58:13,199 --> 00:58:15,826
Hey, M-- Mr. Two Hundred
And Six?
1365
00:58:15,826 --> 00:58:18,204
- It's 2-0-6.
- Right.
1366
00:58:18,204 --> 00:58:21,290
Sign says
no soliciting. Go away.
1367
00:58:21,290 --> 00:58:23,751
Yeah, no, we-- we didn't see
a sign. There's no sign.
1368
00:58:23,751 --> 00:58:25,127
Who took
my sign?
1369
00:58:25,127 --> 00:58:26,545
We didn't take it.
1370
00:58:26,545 --> 00:58:28,380
Hey, either way,
we're not here to solicit.
1371
00:58:28,505 --> 00:58:31,050
We-- we're not selling anything.
1372
00:58:31,050 --> 00:58:33,010
You don't even recognize
my voice.
1373
00:58:33,010 --> 00:58:34,762
You know who's
at the door right now?
1374
00:58:34,762 --> 00:58:37,973
This is Kevin Hart,
comedian, actor.
1375
00:58:37,973 --> 00:58:42,895
I just told you... to go--
1376
00:58:42,895 --> 00:58:44,063
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
1377
00:58:44,063 --> 00:58:45,898
The away!
1378
00:58:45,898 --> 00:58:48,234
Hey! Shit!
1379
00:58:48,234 --> 00:58:50,653
Come on, baby, it's me.
1380
00:58:50,653 --> 00:58:52,363
- It's me.
- It's Kevin Hart.
1381
00:58:55,115 --> 00:58:56,367
Give me one good reason
why I shouldn't
1382
00:58:56,367 --> 00:58:58,202
kill the both of you right now.
1383
00:58:58,202 --> 00:58:59,870
Kevin's about to have a movie
that's gonna get him an Oscar.
1384
00:58:59,870 --> 00:59:02,790
Well, okay.
Wait, wait, wait. Your protege.
1385
00:59:02,790 --> 00:59:04,667
We're here because of your
protege, Doug Eubanks.
1386
00:59:04,667 --> 00:59:06,252
What about him?
1387
00:59:06,252 --> 00:59:09,255
Well, we-- we're here
'cause he's losing his shit.
1388
00:59:09,255 --> 00:59:11,006
Yeah, no, he's absolute--
1389
00:59:11,006 --> 00:59:13,634
That's not true, 'cause
you don't deserve a lie.
1390
00:59:13,634 --> 00:59:15,010
I'm not here to lie to you.
1391
00:59:15,010 --> 00:59:16,595
I'm gonna be honest
with you, man.
1392
00:59:17,972 --> 00:59:19,723
I screwed him over.
1393
00:59:19,723 --> 00:59:21,308
I screwed him over,
and I'm here because
1394
00:59:21,308 --> 00:59:22,643
I want to make things right,
and I can't do that
1395
00:59:22,643 --> 00:59:24,937
without you, Mr. 206.
1396
00:59:32,486 --> 00:59:34,196
Well, how do you
like your tea?
1397
00:59:34,196 --> 00:59:36,073
Huh?
1398
00:59:50,296 --> 00:59:51,880
Do I make you uncomfortable?
1399
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:53,882
No. I-- I'm just so nervous
for you, sir,
1400
00:59:53,882 --> 00:59:56,093
because you got really hot tea,
and it's just
1401
00:59:56,093 --> 00:59:58,887
right above your , so--
1402
00:59:58,887 --> 01:00:02,433
What are you doing?
What are you--
1403
01:00:03,726 --> 01:00:05,269
Oh, my God,
what the ?
1404
01:00:05,269 --> 01:00:06,729
Oh, man, come on.
- What the ?
1405
01:00:06,729 --> 01:00:07,896
Come, on man.
1406
01:00:07,896 --> 01:00:09,315
The ancient Babylonians believed
1407
01:00:09,315 --> 01:00:11,275
that undergarments
were a sign of weakness.
1408
01:00:13,569 --> 01:00:14,987
I tend to agree.
1409
01:00:16,030 --> 01:00:17,323
I respect that.
1410
01:00:18,699 --> 01:00:20,534
I respect that.
1411
01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:22,995
I just...
1412
01:00:26,498 --> 01:00:28,917
I just want to,
I wanna thank you
1413
01:00:28,917 --> 01:00:30,586
for taking the time,
'cause I know you didn't--
1414
01:00:30,586 --> 01:00:32,880
Cut the compliments.
Tell me why you're here.
1415
01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:38,260
I, um, I know
you're Doug's mentor, right?
1416
01:00:38,385 --> 01:00:39,887
If there's anyone
who knows how he operates,
1417
01:00:39,887 --> 01:00:42,431
how he thinks, it's...
1418
01:00:42,431 --> 01:00:43,932
I need your help.
1419
01:00:49,646 --> 01:00:51,190
Watch your eye.
Watch your eye.
1420
01:00:56,028 --> 01:00:57,488
Let's walk.
1421
01:00:59,615 --> 01:01:01,450
Doug Eubanks is more than
just a former student of mine.
1422
01:01:03,035 --> 01:01:05,329
He's my friend, my confidant.
1423
01:01:06,914 --> 01:01:08,707
Briefly, in 2003,
he was my lover.
1424
01:01:10,376 --> 01:01:11,919
Doug is the most
fearless stunt performer
1425
01:01:11,919 --> 01:01:14,171
that I've ever trained.
1426
01:01:14,171 --> 01:01:16,507
One time, he asked me
to stab him with an ice pick
1427
01:01:16,507 --> 01:01:18,092
'cause he needed
to know how it felt so he could
1428
01:01:18,092 --> 01:01:19,802
replicate that reaction
when the cameras are rolling.
1429
01:01:19,802 --> 01:01:22,346
- Did you do it?
- With pleasure.
1430
01:01:22,346 --> 01:01:24,723
As a stuntman,
you embrace pain,
1431
01:01:24,723 --> 01:01:26,308
lay your life on the line
for your actor
1432
01:01:26,308 --> 01:01:27,726
every day you step on set.
1433
01:01:27,726 --> 01:01:30,938
And occasionally,
an actor says thanks.
1434
01:01:30,938 --> 01:01:33,023
Sometimes they don't say thanks.
1435
01:01:33,023 --> 01:01:34,733
Sometimes they just fire you
without warning 'cause
1436
01:01:34,733 --> 01:01:36,527
all of a sudden they think
they're John Rambo,
1437
01:01:36,527 --> 01:01:39,154
but they're nothing but a
little with a giant ego.
1438
01:01:39,154 --> 01:01:41,115
Yeah, yeah. So, hey, are you
gonna talk to him for me?
1439
01:01:42,950 --> 01:01:44,368
Actors talk.
1440
01:01:45,244 --> 01:01:47,538
Stuntmen... stunt.
1441
01:01:49,248 --> 01:01:52,584
You're gonna have to fight Doug,
and you're gonna lose.
1442
01:01:54,211 --> 01:01:55,754
Well, shit, then why are you--
1443
01:01:55,754 --> 01:01:57,089
Why are you even
talking to me, then?
1444
01:01:57,089 --> 01:01:58,424
Only reason I'm talking to you
1445
01:01:58,424 --> 01:02:00,259
is 'cause every person
is trapped
1446
01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:02,219
in a story of their own design,
and I know the exact story
1447
01:02:02,344 --> 01:02:03,595
you're trapped in.
1448
01:02:03,595 --> 01:02:04,888
Yeah, it's a revenge story.
1449
01:02:04,888 --> 01:02:06,306
It's not revenge.
1450
01:02:06,306 --> 01:02:08,183
It's redemption.
1451
01:02:08,183 --> 01:02:09,977
No, I'm pretty sure
it's revenge.
1452
01:02:11,562 --> 01:02:12,729
What do you really want?
1453
01:02:14,481 --> 01:02:16,483
I want my life back.
I want to defeat Doug.
1454
01:02:16,483 --> 01:02:18,986
Defeat Doug?
Doug's the enemy.
1455
01:02:18,986 --> 01:02:21,155
Doug's the bad guy?
You're the good guy?
1456
01:02:21,155 --> 01:02:22,656
I just want to make sure
I'm hearing this right.
1457
01:02:22,656 --> 01:02:25,659
Okay, maybe
we're both bad guys.
1458
01:02:25,784 --> 01:02:27,161
No, Kevin.
1459
01:02:29,037 --> 01:02:30,539
You're both good guys.
1460
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,378
Did you hear that?
1461
01:02:36,503 --> 01:02:38,547
Yeah, I'm trying
to figure it out.
1462
01:02:40,674 --> 01:02:42,259
He ed Doug.
1463
01:02:42,384 --> 01:02:44,428
I didn't hear that.
What?
1464
01:02:44,428 --> 01:02:45,888
He ed Doug.
1465
01:02:45,888 --> 01:02:47,681
I didn't catch that.
I was--
1466
01:02:47,681 --> 01:02:49,057
Right at the top, he said it.
Right over there, he said--
1467
01:02:49,183 --> 01:02:50,934
No. I saw a ladybug.
I gotta--
1468
01:02:50,934 --> 01:02:52,478
So that means he's kind
of ed you before.
1469
01:02:52,478 --> 01:02:54,563
No, no.
Wait a minute, no, he hasn't.
1470
01:02:57,983 --> 01:03:00,611
This is my dojo.
1471
01:03:03,113 --> 01:03:04,531
Well, it kind of
looks like a bunch of trees
1472
01:03:04,531 --> 01:03:06,450
if you ask me, but alright.
1473
01:03:06,450 --> 01:03:09,244
- Goodness gracious.
- Excuse me.
1474
01:03:09,244 --> 01:03:10,829
- Sorry.
- Coming through.
1475
01:03:10,829 --> 01:03:13,165
- Yep. Yep. Sorry.
- Coming through.
1476
01:03:13,165 --> 01:03:14,625
You've really
gotta share the trail, guys.
1477
01:03:14,625 --> 01:03:16,210
- It's our fault.
- Sorry.
1478
01:03:16,210 --> 01:03:17,711
We didn't even know
it was a trail, to be honest.
1479
01:03:17,711 --> 01:03:20,214
I had no idea.
1480
01:03:20,214 --> 01:03:23,091
So this is where you're gonna
train me to face Doug, huh?
1481
01:03:23,091 --> 01:03:24,968
Let me explain
something to you.
1482
01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:28,305
Stuntman's Creed,
be thy actor.
1483
01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:31,183
Every role you ever trained
for, Doug trained harder.
1484
01:03:31,183 --> 01:03:33,018
Every martial art
you supposedly learn,
1485
01:03:33,143 --> 01:03:34,728
Doug learned it for real.
1486
01:03:34,728 --> 01:03:36,897
He had to, 'cause when
the cameras were rolling,
1487
01:03:36,897 --> 01:03:39,358
it was his ass on the line,
not yours, sitting
1488
01:03:39,358 --> 01:03:41,318
in video village,
sipping lattes,
1489
01:03:41,318 --> 01:03:42,945
eating sushi off of nude models.
1490
01:03:42,945 --> 01:03:45,239
Hey. First of all,
I got a bad case of pinkeye.
1491
01:03:45,239 --> 01:03:46,990
I learned my lesson.
1492
01:03:46,990 --> 01:03:48,450
Hasn't happened since.
1493
01:03:48,450 --> 01:03:50,327
You never appreciated Doug.
1494
01:03:50,327 --> 01:03:51,578
Actors never do.
1495
01:03:52,704 --> 01:03:54,331
Anyway, I recently learned that
1496
01:03:54,331 --> 01:03:56,250
there's a lot of people that
I may have underappreciated.
1497
01:03:58,126 --> 01:04:00,045
Good, Kevin.
1498
01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:02,256
That's growth.
1499
01:04:02,256 --> 01:04:04,883
- See that branch up there?
- Yeah.
1500
01:04:04,883 --> 01:04:06,510
Climb that tree,
crawl out to that branch,
1501
01:04:06,510 --> 01:04:08,095
and give me a dead
drop to the ground.
1502
01:04:10,597 --> 01:04:13,016
Uh, how am I supposed to--
1503
01:04:13,016 --> 01:04:15,018
You want to know
how Doug thinks?
1504
01:04:15,143 --> 01:04:16,395
You want to know
how he operates?
1505
01:04:16,395 --> 01:04:18,605
You must see the world
as he sees it,
1506
01:04:18,605 --> 01:04:20,649
without fear,
without hesitation.
1507
01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:25,571
I'm a little scared, though.
1508
01:04:25,571 --> 01:04:27,197
I'm just gonna throw
that out there.
1509
01:04:27,197 --> 01:04:29,408
- It's not like I'm--
- I volunteer as tribute.
1510
01:04:29,408 --> 01:04:32,202
Damn right you do.
1511
01:04:32,202 --> 01:04:34,037
This is Kevin's journey.
That's his dead-drop branch.
1512
01:04:34,037 --> 01:04:35,497
No, that's what
you don't understand.
1513
01:04:35,622 --> 01:04:37,416
You know why?
Because what's Kevin's is mine.
1514
01:04:37,416 --> 01:04:38,625
- Well--
- Well, right.
1515
01:04:38,625 --> 01:04:39,918
I mean, not your
material wealth.
1516
01:04:39,918 --> 01:04:41,086
- Of course, or your income.
- No.
1517
01:04:41,086 --> 01:04:42,671
- Or your success.
- No.
1518
01:04:42,671 --> 01:04:44,006
Or your rare collection of cars,
which are amazing.
1519
01:04:44,006 --> 01:04:45,299
- No.
- Right, none of that.
1520
01:04:45,424 --> 01:04:48,635
But his pain, his anguish--
1521
01:04:48,635 --> 01:04:50,596
Basically, anything that's bad,
anything that's bad--
1522
01:04:50,596 --> 01:04:52,598
that's mine, too.
That is my journey.
1523
01:04:56,435 --> 01:04:57,728
- What?
- Brother.
1524
01:05:02,274 --> 01:05:04,109
Oh my gosh.
1525
01:05:05,736 --> 01:05:07,696
What's happening, guys?
1526
01:05:07,696 --> 01:05:09,114
Guys, this don't look
good from the back.
1527
01:05:09,114 --> 01:05:10,532
What's going on?
1528
01:05:22,753 --> 01:05:25,589
Kevin, you can't
compete with Doug...
1529
01:05:25,589 --> 01:05:28,717
but you clearly have the one
thing he will never have.
1530
01:05:30,510 --> 01:05:32,387
You have a sidekick.
1531
01:05:32,387 --> 01:05:35,140
Andre?
No, Andre is my--
1532
01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:36,892
Andre's like my--
What would you call it?
1533
01:05:38,393 --> 01:05:39,811
No, no, no. No, no.
1534
01:05:39,811 --> 01:05:41,772
- I'm his--
- Hey, hey, hey. No, no, no.
1535
01:05:41,772 --> 01:05:43,565
Andre's your what?
I want you to say it.
1536
01:05:43,565 --> 01:05:45,067
Well, he was gonna say it, too.
1537
01:05:45,067 --> 01:05:46,693
No, no, he's right there.
Andre's your what?
1538
01:05:46,693 --> 01:05:48,070
You don't have to do this, man.
1539
01:05:48,070 --> 01:05:49,363
He's your what?
1540
01:05:49,363 --> 01:05:50,739
Well, he's my assistant,
my assistant.
1541
01:05:50,864 --> 01:05:52,824
He's your--
1542
01:05:52,824 --> 01:05:54,076
- He's--
- Say it.
1543
01:05:54,076 --> 01:05:55,619
Andre's my--
He's my sidekick.
1544
01:05:55,744 --> 01:05:57,579
- Say it.
- He's-- Andre's my sidekick.
1545
01:05:57,704 --> 01:05:58,997
Say it.
He's my sidekick.
1546
01:05:58,997 --> 01:06:00,332
Yeah,
I need you to say it.
1547
01:06:00,332 --> 01:06:02,042
Okay.
Andre-- Andre is my sidekick.
1548
01:06:02,042 --> 01:06:03,377
God damn it, Kevin,
I need you to
1549
01:06:03,377 --> 01:06:04,878
say it!
1550
01:06:04,878 --> 01:06:06,171
And I need you
to believe it
1551
01:06:06,171 --> 01:06:07,714
deep down in your bones.
1552
01:06:07,714 --> 01:06:11,051
Andre-- Andre is my sidekick!
1553
01:06:11,051 --> 01:06:13,512
- Huh?
- I said, Andre is my sidekick!
1554
01:06:13,512 --> 01:06:14,930
Who's your sidekick?
1555
01:06:14,930 --> 01:06:16,598
I said,
Andre is my sidekick!
1556
01:06:16,598 --> 01:06:20,477
I'm your sidekick!
- Andre is my si--
1557
01:06:20,477 --> 01:06:23,438
I'm your sidekick!
1558
01:06:23,438 --> 01:06:25,440
What's happening to me, man?
1559
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:27,693
It's growth, Kevin.
1560
01:06:27,693 --> 01:06:29,986
Growth hurts.
1561
01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:32,739
That's a pain that no double
can take for you.
1562
01:06:34,950 --> 01:06:39,204
You see, Kevin, you came here
seeking a mentor, but it's you.
1563
01:06:40,872 --> 01:06:42,207
You are the mentor.
1564
01:06:43,917 --> 01:06:45,293
Hell yeah.
1565
01:06:48,630 --> 01:06:49,840
You know what?
You know what?
1566
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:52,676
You two... take this moment, talk.
1567
01:06:53,844 --> 01:06:55,220
Talk over your new bond.
1568
01:06:56,847 --> 01:06:59,266
I'm gonna go get my tea.
1569
01:07:02,769 --> 01:07:04,521
What a day.
1570
01:07:04,521 --> 01:07:07,274
I mean,
now that I'm essentially,
1571
01:07:07,274 --> 01:07:09,025
I've been deputized
as your sidekick,
1572
01:07:09,025 --> 01:07:11,236
I have an idea for Doug.
We could work together on this.
1573
01:07:11,236 --> 01:07:12,863
We gotta get close to him, okay?
1574
01:07:12,863 --> 01:07:14,823
We don't have to record him
or anything like...
1575
01:07:14,823 --> 01:07:16,324
What's wrong?
What's wrong?
1576
01:07:17,743 --> 01:07:19,244
That scar on his hand.
1577
01:07:19,244 --> 01:07:21,455
Yeah?
1578
01:07:21,455 --> 01:07:23,373
I think I recognize that scar.
1579
01:07:59,826 --> 01:08:01,203
We don't
have any scheduled deliveries.
1580
01:08:01,203 --> 01:08:02,496
Please turn around.
1581
01:08:02,496 --> 01:08:04,289
Hey, pal, I got a hot date
1582
01:08:04,289 --> 01:08:07,542
with my old lady in 30 minutes,
meatball sub night,
1583
01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:09,961
and all’s I knows is
I got a package
1584
01:08:09,961 --> 01:08:12,172
from Debra Simon at the studio.
1585
01:08:12,172 --> 01:08:14,758
Now, I can either leave it here,
or I can take it home,
1586
01:08:14,758 --> 01:08:16,885
but you gotta tell me
what you want me to do.
1587
01:08:19,387 --> 01:08:20,972
Go ahead.
1588
01:08:20,972 --> 01:08:23,850
That's what I thought.
I'll see you in a bit. Up, up!
1589
01:08:25,852 --> 01:08:27,562
Okay.
1590
01:08:27,562 --> 01:08:32,818
Hey, Ronald Mondolvia, Mondolvia
Plumbing, license and bonded.
1591
01:08:32,943 --> 01:08:34,486
You know, some guys
are licensed, not bonded.
1592
01:08:34,486 --> 01:08:36,112
Other guys, they're bonded,
not licensed.
1593
01:08:36,112 --> 01:08:38,406
Me, I'm both licensed
and bonded.
1594
01:08:38,406 --> 01:08:39,950
Debra Simon sent a plumber?
1595
01:08:39,950 --> 01:08:42,160
Not a plumber, my man.
The plumber.
1596
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,037
I can plumb anything with pipes.
it.
1597
01:08:44,037 --> 01:08:45,413
Sometimes I don't
even need pipes.
1598
01:08:45,413 --> 01:08:47,290
One time I plumbed
a manila envelope.
1599
01:08:47,290 --> 01:08:49,125
Water was spouting
everywhere.
1600
01:08:49,125 --> 01:08:50,585
- It was insane.
- So what's in the van?
1601
01:08:50,585 --> 01:08:52,087
Oh, my God.
1602
01:08:52,087 --> 01:08:54,714
Hold on to your
beautiful, beautiful
1603
01:08:54,714 --> 01:08:56,132
because this, my man--
1604
01:08:57,384 --> 01:08:58,760
It's a commode.
1605
01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:01,388
Imported Italian marble,
beautiful one-piece
1606
01:09:01,388 --> 01:09:03,223
construction, 12-speed bidet.
1607
01:09:03,223 --> 01:09:05,016
We got a little
air fryer on the right.
1608
01:09:05,016 --> 01:09:06,810
You want to cook, eat,
circle of life, shitting,
1609
01:09:06,810 --> 01:09:08,270
eating at the same time,
there's only a couple
1610
01:09:08,270 --> 01:09:09,771
of these in the entire world.
1611
01:09:09,771 --> 01:09:11,064
This, my friend,
probably one of the best
1612
01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:12,357
presents in the universe.
1613
01:09:12,357 --> 01:09:14,985
So can you, you know, eh?
1614
01:09:24,244 --> 01:09:25,829
You gonna help me
bring it in, or no?
1615
01:09:25,829 --> 01:09:27,747
Alright, it, whatever.
Yeah, okay.
1616
01:09:27,747 --> 01:09:30,166
I'll supervise.
Pick it up.
1617
01:09:30,166 --> 01:09:32,127
Use your back.
1618
01:09:32,127 --> 01:09:33,420
Whoa, big boy.
Big boy coming through.
1619
01:09:33,545 --> 01:09:35,005
Big boy coming through.
Big boy.
1620
01:09:35,005 --> 01:09:36,756
Okay, Andre has
the guard's attention.
1621
01:09:36,756 --> 01:09:38,008
Okay.
1622
01:09:38,008 --> 01:09:39,718
You sure you're ready for this?
1623
01:09:39,718 --> 01:09:42,095
In our family, if an
A-list actor is in trouble,
1624
01:09:42,095 --> 01:09:44,639
we don't stand quietly by.
1625
01:09:44,639 --> 01:09:47,309
We fight,
and if we must, we die.
1626
01:09:49,936 --> 01:09:53,273
Wow, well, the world
could use more people like...
1627
01:09:53,273 --> 01:09:54,649
Wait, what is your last name?
1628
01:09:54,649 --> 01:09:56,026
Oh, Mondolvia.
1629
01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:02,240
Where the hell
does this thing go?
1630
01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:05,535
Oh, that is the
million-dollar question, huh?
1631
01:10:05,535 --> 01:10:07,329
Let me think about this.
1632
01:10:07,329 --> 01:10:10,540
Well, you could powder-room it,
show it off like a prize pony,
1633
01:10:10,665 --> 01:10:13,418
or you put it in the main bath.
1634
01:10:13,543 --> 01:10:15,420
Keep all that for yourself, hmm?
1635
01:10:15,545 --> 01:10:17,380
Now, there's a
third option, alright?
1636
01:10:17,505 --> 01:10:20,216
Listen up closely 'cause
this one's insane.
1637
01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:22,677
You can put the commode
right here,
1638
01:10:22,677 --> 01:10:25,013
smack dab in the middle
of the living room,
1639
01:10:25,013 --> 01:10:27,891
and you take a big,
greasy shit right here,
1640
01:10:27,891 --> 01:10:29,267
look everybody
right in the eyes,
1641
01:10:29,267 --> 01:10:31,478
make them wonder
what your deal is.
1642
01:10:31,478 --> 01:10:33,229
And I know what
you're thinking, holy shit,
1643
01:10:33,229 --> 01:10:35,315
that's aggressive, right?
1644
01:10:35,315 --> 01:10:36,650
But they'll respect
the shit out of you.
1645
01:10:36,650 --> 01:10:37,984
Wait a minute,
don't I know you?
1646
01:10:37,984 --> 01:10:40,278
Don't you know?
Don't you know?
1647
01:10:40,278 --> 01:10:42,072
Yeah, boop,
boop, boop, boop.
1648
01:10:42,072 --> 01:10:43,990
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you know what it is?
1649
01:10:43,990 --> 01:10:45,450
Isn't this the place
you took a shit
1650
01:10:45,450 --> 01:10:46,743
so big up there
that people thought there
1651
01:10:46,743 --> 01:10:48,286
was a dog loose in the pipes?
1652
01:10:48,286 --> 01:10:49,788
How the hell am
I gonna take a shit--
1653
01:10:49,788 --> 01:10:51,164
Man, what are you talking about?
No.
1654
01:10:51,164 --> 01:10:52,707
- Wasn't that you?
- No.
1655
01:10:52,707 --> 01:10:54,250
- No?
- A dog in the pipes?
1656
01:10:54,250 --> 01:10:55,543
Maybe it
was a dachshund.
1657
01:10:55,543 --> 01:10:56,795
Looked like a dachshund,
your big--
1658
01:10:58,254 --> 01:10:59,506
- Oh, no, is that the dog?
- Wait right here.
1659
01:10:59,506 --> 01:11:01,007
I'll deal with you in a minute.
1660
01:11:01,007 --> 01:11:03,259
Yeah, I'm gonna wait right here
in New York City,
1661
01:11:03,385 --> 01:11:04,678
you know what I mean?
1662
01:11:06,012 --> 01:11:07,889
Kevin?
Kevin, are you okay, baby?
1663
01:11:07,889 --> 01:11:09,307
Everything went
incredible up here.
1664
01:11:09,307 --> 01:11:10,809
You alright?
Yeah, I'm alright.
1665
01:11:10,809 --> 01:11:12,936
Sweating my goddamn
ass off, though.
1666
01:11:12,936 --> 01:11:14,980
Jesus Christ, how you
ain't cut no holes in here?
1667
01:11:15,105 --> 01:11:16,690
Let's get you out of here
and kick some ass.
1668
01:11:16,690 --> 01:11:18,274
What do you say, huh?
Alright, come on.
1669
01:11:18,274 --> 01:11:19,693
- Let's go.
- Yes!
1670
01:11:34,124 --> 01:11:36,334
- What are you doing?
- Funny story.
1671
01:11:36,334 --> 01:11:37,836
You're gonna lose
your goddamn mind.
1672
01:11:37,836 --> 01:11:41,214
I drilled this puppy
a little bit too hard.
1673
01:11:41,214 --> 01:11:43,758
I can't get it out without
the aid of some tools.
1674
01:11:43,758 --> 01:11:45,343
So give me a second.
I'm gonna grab some tools.
1675
01:11:45,343 --> 01:11:47,345
I'll be right back.
Okay, talk soon.
1676
01:11:47,345 --> 01:11:48,972
Hey, Andre,
you better stop playing.
1677
01:11:48,972 --> 01:11:51,766
Seriously, man.
Andre?
1678
01:11:51,766 --> 01:11:53,351
Andre?
1679
01:12:01,526 --> 01:12:04,738
Hey, were those fireworks?
1680
01:12:04,863 --> 01:12:07,782
I live next door,
at the Mondolvia estate.
1681
01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:10,452
Did you set those off?
You know that that is illegal.
1682
01:12:10,452 --> 01:12:13,121
They're not ours.
I don't know who set these off.
1683
01:12:13,121 --> 01:12:15,457
Well, it scared
the bejesus out of me,
1684
01:12:15,457 --> 01:12:17,417
and I have a pacemaker.
1685
01:12:17,417 --> 01:12:19,377
What do you have to
say for yourself?
1686
01:12:19,502 --> 01:12:21,087
Look, lady, I told you,
they're not my fireworks,
1687
01:12:21,087 --> 01:12:23,006
and I didn't shit in any pipes!
1688
01:12:23,006 --> 01:12:24,174
What?
1689
01:12:29,721 --> 01:12:31,222
That's for Andre.
1690
01:12:37,812 --> 01:12:38,980
Andre?
1691
01:12:40,231 --> 01:12:41,983
Andre?
Come on, man, I'm serious.
1692
01:12:44,152 --> 01:12:45,612
There you go.
What took you so long?
1693
01:12:45,612 --> 01:12:47,947
Where you go?
Leaving me in this box
1694
01:12:47,947 --> 01:12:50,075
with all that goddamn quiet.
Don't do that.
1695
01:12:52,410 --> 01:12:54,454
The is that?
1696
01:12:54,454 --> 01:12:55,663
Hey.
1697
01:12:57,082 --> 01:12:58,666
Andre, that's a chainsaw?
Okay, hold on.
1698
01:12:58,666 --> 01:13:00,085
Wait, wait, wait.
1699
01:13:02,170 --> 01:13:04,380
Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay.
1700
01:13:04,506 --> 01:13:06,925
Slow it down.
Slow it down. Slow it down!
1701
01:13:06,925 --> 01:13:08,676
You're gonna cut
my head!
1702
01:13:08,676 --> 01:13:10,345
You're gonna cut my head!
1703
01:13:10,345 --> 01:13:13,973
No more chainsaw.
No more chainsaw!
1704
01:13:13,973 --> 01:13:16,059
No more chainsaw, okay?
1705
01:13:16,184 --> 01:13:18,103
Jesus Christ.
1706
01:13:18,103 --> 01:13:20,688
Shit.
What the , Andre?
1707
01:13:20,688 --> 01:13:23,441
Oh, shit.
Oh, oh, oh, shit.
1708
01:13:24,943 --> 01:13:26,986
On behalf
of stunt actors everywhere,
1709
01:13:26,986 --> 01:13:31,991
I'm excited to say,
this is your day of reckoning!
1710
01:13:34,035 --> 01:13:36,037
Hold up!
1711
01:13:36,037 --> 01:13:37,705
Trying to tell me a big old
stunt legend like yourself
1712
01:13:37,705 --> 01:13:40,458
need a chainsaw?
1713
01:13:40,583 --> 01:13:41,793
Huh?
1714
01:13:43,962 --> 01:13:46,464
That's what the
I'm talking about. Two men.
1715
01:13:46,464 --> 01:13:49,050
How about two dogs in a bowl?
I want to eat.
1716
01:13:51,094 --> 01:13:53,304
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1717
01:13:53,304 --> 01:13:54,889
Oh, you got a knife.
1718
01:13:54,889 --> 01:13:58,184
Big old man like yourself,
stunt legend,
1719
01:13:58,184 --> 01:14:00,186
you need a knife
for little old me?
1720
01:14:00,186 --> 01:14:01,563
That's what you need?
1721
01:14:01,563 --> 01:14:03,064
it.
1722
01:14:03,064 --> 01:14:04,649
I'll kill you with my hands.
What?
1723
01:14:10,864 --> 01:14:12,740
Yeah, you know this
ain't go too good for you
1724
01:14:12,866 --> 01:14:14,993
in that little, shitty hallway.
1725
01:14:14,993 --> 01:14:17,370
Man, Jordan whooped your ass.
1726
01:14:17,370 --> 01:14:20,874
Mask I was wearing was 100
percent polyester, unbreathable.
1727
01:14:20,874 --> 01:14:22,292
Sweating into my contacts.
1728
01:14:22,292 --> 01:14:23,751
Hell, a child could
have kicked my ass.
1729
01:14:23,751 --> 01:14:25,086
Oh, that's a real
elaborate excuse,
1730
01:14:25,086 --> 01:14:26,713
don't you think?
Superman punch!
1731
01:14:30,300 --> 01:14:31,551
Oh, shit!
1732
01:14:32,886 --> 01:14:34,095
Ah, shit.
1733
01:14:40,518 --> 01:14:42,520
Shit. Andre!
1734
01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:44,522
Andre, do the sidekick stuff!
1735
01:14:44,522 --> 01:14:47,108
I made all that shit up
about your sidekick.
1736
01:14:47,108 --> 01:14:48,985
You think I'd help you?
1737
01:14:48,985 --> 01:14:52,488
You think I'd put a greedy,
unappreciative,
1738
01:14:52,488 --> 01:14:54,574
overrated actor over a stuntman?
1739
01:14:54,574 --> 01:14:57,619
I just thought
it'd be fun to give you
1740
01:14:57,744 --> 01:15:00,330
some false hope before you died.
1741
01:15:00,330 --> 01:15:03,124
Shit!
Yo, you gonna break my arm!
1742
01:15:03,124 --> 01:15:05,126
Yeah, and every other
one of the 206 bones
1743
01:15:05,126 --> 01:15:08,171
in your body,
and then I'm gonna eat your ass.
1744
01:15:08,171 --> 01:15:10,673
I knew it.
I knew you were a ass-eater.
1745
01:15:17,096 --> 01:15:18,473
Oh, hey.
I'll stab you.
1746
01:15:18,473 --> 01:15:19,849
Cute knife.
What are you gonna do with that?
1747
01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:22,977
You gonna hurt me with that?
Huh, huh?
1748
01:15:22,977 --> 01:15:25,438
No, but she is.
1749
01:15:28,399 --> 01:15:29,734
Oh, shit.
1750
01:15:31,069 --> 01:15:32,278
Oh, you got him.
1751
01:15:32,278 --> 01:15:33,655
It's...
Okay.
1752
01:15:33,655 --> 01:15:35,990
Um, holy shit.
1753
01:15:35,990 --> 01:15:37,992
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey.
1754
01:15:37,992 --> 01:15:40,161
Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey,
look at me. Look at me.
1755
01:15:40,161 --> 01:15:43,081
Eyes. You good.
1756
01:15:43,081 --> 01:15:45,124
Thirsty.
1757
01:15:45,124 --> 01:15:47,710
- You what?
- Th-- thirsty.
1758
01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:49,796
Well, get you
something to drink.
1759
01:15:51,839 --> 01:15:53,508
You threw
a knife in his head.
1760
01:15:53,508 --> 01:15:56,469
I didn't know what else to do.
I meant for his shoulder.
1761
01:15:56,469 --> 01:15:58,012
How did you mean
for his shoulder?
1762
01:15:58,012 --> 01:15:59,722
size of the fireplace.
1763
01:15:59,722 --> 01:16:01,391
That's him.
1764
01:16:04,060 --> 01:16:05,812
He's awake.
It's a good sign.
1765
01:16:05,812 --> 01:16:07,772
It's a good thing.
Look, he's fine. He's fine.
1766
01:16:07,772 --> 01:16:09,065
What are you talking,
he's fine?
1767
01:16:09,065 --> 01:16:10,900
I mean, he's...
1768
01:16:10,900 --> 01:16:13,778
He's a zombie.
What do you mean, he's fine?
1769
01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:16,114
Oh, god,
he's gonna burn himself.
1770
01:16:16,114 --> 01:16:17,907
He's gonna get a burn on
his hand or something.
1771
01:16:17,907 --> 01:16:19,200
It's not really
the worst thing
1772
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:20,368
that could happen to him
at this point.
1773
01:16:20,368 --> 01:16:21,995
That's true.
- Oh.
1774
01:16:21,995 --> 01:16:23,830
Hey!
There he is.
1775
01:16:23,830 --> 01:16:25,081
How you doing, man?
1776
01:16:26,082 --> 01:16:27,875
Jesus Christ.
1777
01:16:29,377 --> 01:16:31,045
- He's okay.
- He's just taking a nap.
1778
01:16:31,045 --> 01:16:32,714
He's not dead.
He's fine.
1779
01:16:32,714 --> 01:16:34,048
- He's okay?
- Yeah.
1780
01:16:34,048 --> 01:16:36,676
Wait, where's Andre?
1781
01:16:36,676 --> 01:16:38,594
Where's my sweet boy?
1782
01:16:38,594 --> 01:16:41,472
Don't you worry,
'cause I found him.
1783
01:16:41,472 --> 01:16:43,641
Alright, I'm sorry.
1784
01:16:43,641 --> 01:16:45,935
I made an oopsie-daisy.
I got captured.
1785
01:16:45,935 --> 01:16:48,062
I thought I heard your voice,
but it wasn't your voice.
1786
01:16:48,062 --> 01:16:49,814
It was his voice. I'm the worst
sidekick in the world.
1787
01:16:49,814 --> 01:16:51,357
- Hey, shut up.
- I'm gonna shut up.
1788
01:16:51,357 --> 01:16:52,692
- Shut up.
- I'm gonna shut up.
1789
01:16:52,692 --> 01:16:54,902
You hurt one hair
on my son's head,
1790
01:16:54,902 --> 01:16:57,071
I swear to God,
,
1791
01:16:57,071 --> 01:17:00,992
I will split you
from chin to .
1792
01:17:00,992 --> 01:17:02,660
- Who the are you?
- That's my mom.
1793
01:17:02,785 --> 01:17:04,871
I love you, mom.
If I die, I love you in heaven.
1794
01:17:04,871 --> 01:17:06,539
What the hell is
your mother doing here, boy?
1795
01:17:06,664 --> 01:17:09,459
I'm here for moral support,
and I love him.
1796
01:17:09,584 --> 01:17:10,960
I love you, mom.
1797
01:17:10,960 --> 01:17:12,962
But I will you up!
1798
01:17:12,962 --> 01:17:14,464
- Try me!
- Mom--
1799
01:17:14,464 --> 01:17:16,257
I love you.
1800
01:17:16,382 --> 01:17:18,259
How come y'all
don't have no guns?
1801
01:17:18,384 --> 01:17:19,886
'Cause we're not here
to kill anybody, Doug.
1802
01:17:19,886 --> 01:17:22,722
Oh.
Oh, is that right?
1803
01:17:22,722 --> 01:17:25,391
Then where's Mr. 206 at?
1804
01:17:25,391 --> 01:17:28,144
He's... making breakfast.
1805
01:17:32,732 --> 01:17:34,567
This is a
joke to you.
1806
01:17:36,277 --> 01:17:38,196
It's a joke to you.
1807
01:17:40,281 --> 01:17:42,784
Shut your ass up.
you crying for?
1808
01:17:42,784 --> 01:17:47,372
- 'Cause I can feel your--
- That man was my mentor.
1809
01:17:47,372 --> 01:17:50,958
He was my muse, my rock.
1810
01:17:50,958 --> 01:17:52,835
And in 2003,
for a brief period
1811
01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:55,171
where I was confused about
my sexuality, he was my lover.
1812
01:17:55,171 --> 01:17:57,048
- Okay.
- Sounds like a very special--
1813
01:17:57,048 --> 01:17:58,424
Shut your ass up. Don't--
1814
01:17:58,424 --> 01:18:00,343
Hey, hey, hey,
listen to me.
1815
01:18:00,343 --> 01:18:02,595
Doug, we are sorry
for your loss, man.
1816
01:18:02,595 --> 01:18:04,097
- So sorry.
- We're sorry.
1817
01:18:04,097 --> 01:18:08,142
Oh. Oh, you're sorry, huh?
Hmm?
1818
01:18:08,142 --> 01:18:10,603
See, y'all are
a bunch of brainiacs.
1819
01:18:10,603 --> 01:18:11,938
I thought I had all you dead
1820
01:18:11,938 --> 01:18:14,315
in that goddamn
business offices, I did.
1821
01:18:14,315 --> 01:18:15,775
Alright, Doug.
1822
01:18:15,775 --> 01:18:18,403
Doug, listen to me.
Don't you hurt him, man.
1823
01:18:18,403 --> 01:18:20,363
You hear me?
Don't hurt him.
1824
01:18:20,363 --> 01:18:23,116
Oh, 'cause you care
all of a sudden, hm?
1825
01:18:23,116 --> 01:18:26,327
All of a sudden, you got
a heart, Tin Man?
1826
01:18:26,327 --> 01:18:28,329
You don't care about nothing.
1827
01:18:28,329 --> 01:18:31,332
This man ain't nothing
but an employee of yours,
1828
01:18:31,332 --> 01:18:34,210
which means he's disposable.
Ain't that right? Hmm?
1829
01:18:34,210 --> 01:18:36,129
That's not true.
1830
01:18:36,129 --> 01:18:37,964
The man is the complete
opposite of that.
1831
01:18:39,590 --> 01:18:42,427
- Andre is 34 years old.
- 35.
1832
01:18:42,427 --> 01:18:43,886
He's left-handed.
1833
01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:45,471
Right-handed.
1834
01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:46,806
Afraid of scorpions.
1835
01:18:46,806 --> 01:18:48,599
I love scorpions.
1836
01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:50,017
He won a sixth-grade
spelling bee.
1837
01:18:50,143 --> 01:18:51,602
I got fourth place.
1838
01:18:51,602 --> 01:18:53,187
He memorized every
single line of House Party,
1839
01:18:53,187 --> 01:18:54,439
both Kid's and Play's.
1840
01:18:54,439 --> 01:18:55,773
- You did that.
- I did do that.
1841
01:18:55,773 --> 01:18:57,358
That is me.
1842
01:18:57,358 --> 01:19:00,653
Andre is the one man
that I cannot live without.
1843
01:19:00,653 --> 01:19:02,655
I'm with you,
ride or die,
1844
01:19:02,655 --> 01:19:03,990
although I was hoping
for a little bit
1845
01:19:03,990 --> 01:19:05,408
more ride and a little less die.
1846
01:19:05,408 --> 01:19:07,160
I think I'm gonna die,
like, really soon.
1847
01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:08,369
- Enough, enough.
- I'm gonna shut up.
1848
01:19:08,369 --> 01:19:10,913
Doug, now stop it.
1849
01:19:10,913 --> 01:19:12,707
You don't even want him, man.
1850
01:19:12,707 --> 01:19:15,001
You want me.
I'm the one who messed up.
1851
01:19:15,001 --> 01:19:18,171
I'm the one that threw you out
like Tuesday's trash
1852
01:19:18,171 --> 01:19:20,673
and left you on the side
of the goddamn curb
1853
01:19:20,673 --> 01:19:22,925
without the blink of an eye.
I did that.
1854
01:19:22,925 --> 01:19:27,096
You want me,
not him, so let him go.
1855
01:19:27,096 --> 01:19:29,724
Let him go and take me.
1856
01:19:29,724 --> 01:19:31,809
That's what you want?
You want me to let him go?
1857
01:19:31,809 --> 01:19:33,478
Hmm? Say it.
Say it again.
1858
01:19:33,478 --> 01:19:35,062
I want you to let him go.
1859
01:19:35,062 --> 01:19:37,273
- Mama, how about you?
- Please let him go.
1860
01:19:37,273 --> 01:19:38,399
Let him go, huh?
Will you let me go?
1861
01:19:38,399 --> 01:19:39,650
You want me to let you go?
1862
01:19:39,650 --> 01:19:40,985
Please, Doug.
That'd be so nice.
1863
01:19:40,985 --> 01:19:42,695
Everybody telling me
to let you go.
1864
01:19:42,695 --> 01:19:44,113
I should just let you go.
Hey, mama, I'm gonna let him go.
1865
01:19:44,113 --> 01:19:46,324
- Thank you.
- Make sure you watch, hmm?
1866
01:19:46,324 --> 01:19:47,700
- You watching?
- Thank you.
1867
01:19:47,825 --> 01:19:49,827
- Now get your ass--
- Ah!
1868
01:19:49,827 --> 01:19:51,537
Oh, shit!
- Oh, no.
1869
01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:54,415
Oh, my, he let go.
He literally let go.
1870
01:19:54,415 --> 01:19:57,418
- Yeah, I let him go good.
- Doug, this ends now.
1871
01:19:57,543 --> 01:20:01,756
Oh, well, that's okay
with me, Little Boots.
1872
01:20:05,635 --> 01:20:09,013
Then let's do it the hard way, .
1873
01:20:09,013 --> 01:20:10,598
I got your ass.
1874
01:20:13,351 --> 01:20:15,186
Honey, oh...
1875
01:20:15,186 --> 01:20:16,604
My baby's alive!
1876
01:20:16,729 --> 01:20:17,939
He's alive.
He's alive.
1877
01:20:17,939 --> 01:20:19,649
I'm okay.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
1878
01:20:19,649 --> 01:20:22,235
The table actually
broke my fall. Did you see me?
1879
01:20:22,235 --> 01:20:25,446
That was the dead drop
I never got to do in the woods.
1880
01:20:25,446 --> 01:20:26,739
That was my tribute
to you, Kevin.
1881
01:20:26,864 --> 01:20:28,032
Hey, come on.
Let's get you up.
1882
01:20:29,784 --> 01:20:31,244
Take it easy.
1883
01:20:31,244 --> 01:20:32,703
Okay, we gotta get him--
Oh, my God.
1884
01:20:32,703 --> 01:20:33,746
What happened?
What's going on?
1885
01:20:33,746 --> 01:20:35,248
Nothing.
1886
01:20:35,248 --> 01:20:37,792
A tiny, tiny bit
of the table just--
1887
01:20:37,792 --> 01:20:39,001
Where is it?
What part of it?
1888
01:20:40,044 --> 01:20:41,254
Don't touch it.
1889
01:20:41,254 --> 01:20:42,922
- Listen, listen.
- Why, why, why?
1890
01:20:42,922 --> 01:20:44,757
Don't touch it. It's nothing.
It's nothing crazy.
1891
01:20:44,757 --> 01:20:46,133
It's a little splinter.
It's fine.
1892
01:20:46,133 --> 01:20:48,344
Get the tweezers.
Let's get it out.
1893
01:20:48,344 --> 01:20:49,929
Why are you holding me back?
1894
01:20:49,929 --> 01:20:51,514
- Get it out!
- Stop fiddling with it.
1895
01:20:51,514 --> 01:20:52,807
Yeah, stop for us.
Come on.
1896
01:20:52,807 --> 01:20:54,350
Let's go get him
to a hospital.
1897
01:20:54,350 --> 01:20:56,060
It feels like something's
in my kidney, right?
1898
01:20:56,185 --> 01:20:57,603
- When I walk, at least.
- Come on.
1899
01:20:58,896 --> 01:21:00,523
Okay. Jesus.
1900
01:21:02,066 --> 01:21:04,068
What the hell is that?
1901
01:21:04,068 --> 01:21:06,070
Oh, I installed
customizable lights in here,
1902
01:21:06,070 --> 01:21:07,989
but you never had time
to learn how to use 'em.
1903
01:21:07,989 --> 01:21:12,285
All them years
I was your stuntman, Kevin.
1904
01:21:14,203 --> 01:21:15,538
Get him to the hospital, mom.
1905
01:21:15,663 --> 01:21:17,456
- Jordan, come with me.
- Okay, be careful.
1906
01:21:17,456 --> 01:21:18,958
Come on, honey.
Help me out.
1907
01:21:18,958 --> 01:21:20,543
See, Kevin, it wasn't
1908
01:21:20,543 --> 01:21:23,796
just taking falls
and getting kicked in the face
1909
01:21:23,796 --> 01:21:26,465
and getting set on fire. Uh-uh.
1910
01:21:26,465 --> 01:21:29,594
That's not all I was doing
to make you look good.
1911
01:21:29,594 --> 01:21:33,431
You remember
Justice Squad Part Two?
1912
01:21:33,431 --> 01:21:37,143
You decided to gain
30 pounds for the part.
1913
01:21:37,143 --> 01:21:40,896
That meant that I had to gain
30 pounds, too, Kevin.
1914
01:21:40,896 --> 01:21:43,024
I'm a freaking diabetic,
you selfish .
1915
01:21:43,024 --> 01:21:45,151
- I almost put myself in a coma.
- Okay, hey.
1916
01:21:45,151 --> 01:21:48,779
Hey, Doug, easy, alright?
1917
01:21:48,904 --> 01:21:50,197
I'm sorry, man.
I made a mistake.
1918
01:21:50,197 --> 01:21:52,116
Shut your ass up.
Mom, no.
1919
01:21:52,116 --> 01:21:54,660
Mom, no. Mom, no.
Mom, I can't leave.
1920
01:21:54,785 --> 01:21:56,579
No, I'm not gonna
let you die.
1921
01:21:56,704 --> 01:21:58,956
- I'm not losing another.
- Mom, mom, listen, okay?
1922
01:21:58,956 --> 01:22:00,833
Look at me.
1923
01:22:00,833 --> 01:22:03,044
I-- I know you wish
you could have saved dad.
1924
01:22:03,044 --> 01:22:04,795
Yeah.
1925
01:22:04,795 --> 01:22:06,589
I know, I know,
but this is different.
1926
01:22:06,589 --> 01:22:08,674
I'm not just Kevin's assistant.
1927
01:22:08,674 --> 01:22:11,135
I'm his sidekick,
and you want to know
1928
01:22:11,135 --> 01:22:13,512
the first rule of sidekick?
1929
01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:15,056
- Do no harm?
- No.
1930
01:22:15,056 --> 01:22:16,974
That's doctor's, mom.
1931
01:22:16,974 --> 01:22:19,310
The first rule of sidekick
is there is no sidekick.
1932
01:22:19,310 --> 01:22:20,603
That's "Fight Club," mom.
1933
01:22:20,603 --> 01:22:21,771
You know that.
Brad Pitt's in that.
1934
01:22:21,771 --> 01:22:23,064
Ed Norton's in that, Mom!
1935
01:22:23,064 --> 01:22:24,690
Just tell me, then.
1936
01:22:24,690 --> 01:22:26,859
Okay, listen to me,
and listen good, man.
1937
01:22:26,984 --> 01:22:28,986
Back when I was a sidekick,
I was always jealous
1938
01:22:28,986 --> 01:22:31,697
of the lead actor
and all the glory they got.
1939
01:22:31,822 --> 01:22:33,032
And I told myself, Doug,
1940
01:22:33,032 --> 01:22:34,909
I said, when I become
a lead actor,
1941
01:22:34,909 --> 01:22:36,827
I'm gonna get that same glory.
I want it.
1942
01:22:36,827 --> 01:22:39,997
I want to taste that.
And I did.
1943
01:22:39,997 --> 01:22:41,457
But when I tasted it,
I handled it wrong.
1944
01:22:41,457 --> 01:22:44,752
I was selfish.
I was stupid, man.
1945
01:22:44,752 --> 01:22:46,420
And now I realize how much
I need my village.
1946
01:22:46,545 --> 01:22:50,049
And, Doug, you're a part
of that village, okay?
1947
01:22:50,049 --> 01:22:52,760
I need you.
I need you, man.
1948
01:22:52,760 --> 01:22:55,638
Give me a chance
to make it up to you.
1949
01:22:55,638 --> 01:22:59,308
Give me a chance to prove to you
that this is what I want,
1950
01:22:59,308 --> 01:23:02,103
that-- that I want you,
I need you.
1951
01:23:02,103 --> 01:23:03,312
How about I give you the chance
1952
01:23:03,437 --> 01:23:05,648
to suck my , hmm?
1953
01:23:05,648 --> 01:23:07,692
I'm living the life, boy.
1954
01:23:07,692 --> 01:23:09,985
I'm in your goddamn mansion.
1955
01:23:09,985 --> 01:23:12,405
Hmm? I live here.
1956
01:23:12,405 --> 01:23:14,156
I got your career.
1957
01:23:14,156 --> 01:23:15,991
Your agents love me.
1958
01:23:15,991 --> 01:23:18,869
Them boys love me good, got me a
part in a movie and everything.
1959
01:23:18,869 --> 01:23:20,204
I'm about to be Chucky
in the new Child's Play.
1960
01:23:20,204 --> 01:23:21,831
- You took that shit?
- Step back.
1961
01:23:21,831 --> 01:23:24,333
Get back before I goddamn
skin your lip.
1962
01:23:24,333 --> 01:23:27,294
And I signed up
for a new Woody Allen movie.
1963
01:23:27,294 --> 01:23:29,296
Can't wait to see
the press around that.
1964
01:23:30,756 --> 01:23:33,008
No, no, no, no.
Come on, come on, come on.
1965
01:23:33,008 --> 01:23:34,844
Come on, wake up. Wake up.
Come on.
1966
01:23:34,844 --> 01:23:38,305
What?
What's happening?
1967
01:23:38,305 --> 01:23:40,266
I think what you were
1968
01:23:40,266 --> 01:23:43,018
about to do was to try
to convince me that even though
1969
01:23:43,144 --> 01:23:47,022
you've been impaled by
a large piece of
1970
01:23:47,022 --> 01:23:50,109
restoration hardware,
you want to go back in there
1971
01:23:50,109 --> 01:23:52,653
and fight some lunatic
1972
01:23:52,653 --> 01:23:57,158
who is physically superior
to you in every possible way
1973
01:23:57,158 --> 01:24:00,035
because you're not
just his sidekick.
1974
01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:02,037
You're his best friend.
1975
01:24:04,331 --> 01:24:06,000
You're goddamn right I am.
1976
01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:08,002
So why go through
all this trouble?
1977
01:24:08,002 --> 01:24:11,005
The Swedish actor,
the torture chamber.
1978
01:24:11,005 --> 01:24:14,550
You think it's easy stealing
a man's identity, hmm?
1979
01:24:14,550 --> 01:24:16,010
You think it's as easy
as stealing his face?
1980
01:24:16,010 --> 01:24:17,928
Well, it's not, Little Pretty.
1981
01:24:17,928 --> 01:24:19,722
It's much harder than that.
1982
01:24:19,722 --> 01:24:22,224
Had to get his goddamn
fingerprints first.
1983
01:24:22,224 --> 01:24:25,060
After that, I had to take
all your goddamn passwords.
1984
01:24:25,186 --> 01:24:28,397
Once I got that, I said,
we get your voice ID.
1985
01:24:28,397 --> 01:24:30,232
All the other secrets
that you hold, I got it.
1986
01:24:30,232 --> 01:24:31,817
I got it good.
1987
01:24:31,942 --> 01:24:34,612
So now you have everything
you need to be Kevin.
1988
01:24:34,612 --> 01:24:37,072
You even removed your mole,
you sick son of a .
1989
01:24:37,072 --> 01:24:38,532
Yeah, I did.
1990
01:24:38,532 --> 01:24:40,075
You know why?
1991
01:24:40,075 --> 01:24:42,077
'Cause I'm Kevin Hart.
I'm Kevin Hart.
1992
01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:43,662
I got all the money
in the world.
1993
01:24:43,662 --> 01:24:45,164
I got the best dermatologist
in the world
1994
01:24:45,164 --> 01:24:46,916
'cause I'm Kevin Hart.
1995
01:24:46,916 --> 01:24:48,542
Dr. Sanchez would
never touch
1996
01:24:48,542 --> 01:24:49,752
that rough-ass skin of yours.
1997
01:24:49,752 --> 01:24:51,545
But she did, .
She did!
1998
01:24:51,545 --> 01:24:53,005
Ah, shit!
1999
01:25:06,977 --> 01:25:08,646
No, boy.
2000
01:25:08,646 --> 01:25:11,106
Smack your ass.
No, no!
2001
01:25:11,106 --> 01:25:12,733
- Ah, ah. Hold on.
- What?
2002
01:25:14,068 --> 01:25:15,611
Superman punch!
2003
01:25:20,533 --> 01:25:22,368
No, not today.
2004
01:25:22,368 --> 01:25:23,786
Oh.
2005
01:25:25,329 --> 01:25:27,873
I told you.
- Ah, you stupid little .
2006
01:25:27,873 --> 01:25:30,793
Wasn't done with you, hmm?
2007
01:25:30,793 --> 01:25:34,630
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
2008
01:25:34,630 --> 01:25:35,923
See, I got your body.
2009
01:25:35,923 --> 01:25:37,383
Doug, you ain't got
to do this, man.
2010
01:25:37,383 --> 01:25:38,801
- Give me a chance.
- But now--
2011
01:25:38,801 --> 01:25:40,052
Doug, no!
2012
01:25:40,052 --> 01:25:41,637
Now I want your soul.
2013
01:25:41,637 --> 01:25:42,888
Don't take my soul.
2014
01:25:42,888 --> 01:25:44,598
I'm gonna get
your soul.
2015
01:25:44,598 --> 01:25:48,060
What's happened to me?
What the you just do to me?
2016
01:25:48,185 --> 01:25:50,729
Oh, shit.
2017
01:25:50,729 --> 01:25:52,648
Just stab me in my
goddamn scapula, boy?
2018
01:25:52,648 --> 01:25:54,149
- Hey!
- Huh?
2019
01:25:54,149 --> 01:25:56,193
That's a wrap on Doug.
2020
01:25:56,193 --> 01:25:59,363
Oh, got me good.
2021
01:25:59,363 --> 01:26:00,906
!
2022
01:26:09,999 --> 01:26:12,626
Hold on, Andre,
is that the piece of wood
2023
01:26:12,626 --> 01:26:14,295
that was lodged in your side?
2024
01:26:14,295 --> 01:26:16,046
Sidekick for life.
2025
01:26:16,046 --> 01:26:18,632
No, Andre, that was supposed
to stay in to stop the bleeding.
2026
01:26:18,632 --> 01:26:20,342
I told him
it was a dumb idea,
2027
01:26:20,342 --> 01:26:22,011
but does he listen to his mom?
2028
01:26:22,011 --> 01:26:23,304
I'd do anything for you, man.
2029
01:26:23,304 --> 01:26:25,180
Hey, hey, look at me.
2030
01:26:25,306 --> 01:26:27,057
You're the best damn sidekick
I ever seen.
2031
01:26:28,350 --> 01:26:29,685
Alright, guys, call the cops.
2032
01:26:29,685 --> 01:26:32,813
Stay with Doug
until they get here, okay?
2033
01:26:32,813 --> 01:26:34,982
I've gotta get you
to the hospital.
2034
01:26:34,982 --> 01:26:36,859
This time, I'm driving.
2035
01:26:39,486 --> 01:26:41,697
You know, actually,
I will drive. I'm gonna drive.
2036
01:26:41,697 --> 01:26:43,073
I saw the way
you drove last time,
2037
01:26:43,073 --> 01:26:45,159
so I think
I'll take it from here.
2038
01:26:45,159 --> 01:26:46,368
- Why don't we just--
- We'll figure it out.
2039
01:26:46,368 --> 01:26:47,745
We'll figure it out.
2040
01:26:47,745 --> 01:26:49,079
Yeah, but I'll use
my feet and hands,
2041
01:26:49,079 --> 01:26:50,331
and you can sit on
my lap or some shit.
2042
01:26:50,331 --> 01:26:52,249
He's in shock.
I got you, buddy.
2043
01:26:52,249 --> 01:26:54,084
Keep an eye on Doug.
2044
01:26:54,084 --> 01:26:55,669
I got you, buddy.
2045
01:26:57,838 --> 01:27:00,049
I mean, I was foolish.
2046
01:27:00,049 --> 01:27:03,802
I let my ego run the show,
and I'm honestly,
2047
01:27:03,802 --> 01:27:06,764
I'm lucky to be alive.
We both are.
2048
01:27:06,764 --> 01:27:08,641
Why is he here
with us again?
2049
01:27:08,641 --> 01:27:11,769
'Cause he's a
vital part of my team.
2050
01:27:11,769 --> 01:27:13,270
Ah, okay.
2051
01:27:13,270 --> 01:27:14,897
Hi, hi, hi. Sorry.
2052
01:27:14,897 --> 01:27:17,149
- Sorry I'm late.
- And so is she.
2053
01:27:18,859 --> 01:27:20,152
And so are they.
2054
01:27:22,988 --> 01:27:25,574
Alright.
Who is the older lady?
2055
01:27:25,574 --> 01:27:27,534
Are you talking
about that gorgeous woman
2056
01:27:27,534 --> 01:27:29,578
in the back?
That's my mama.
2057
01:27:29,703 --> 01:27:31,914
Mama, how's the food?
2058
01:27:31,914 --> 01:27:33,874
Oh, it's so confusing.
2059
01:27:33,874 --> 01:27:35,542
Yeah.
I love it, though.
2060
01:27:35,542 --> 01:27:37,586
I'm not really sure
what her role is yet.
2061
01:27:37,586 --> 01:27:39,672
We're still trying
to iron out the kinks.
2062
01:27:39,672 --> 01:27:41,632
But what I do know is
it takes a village
2063
01:27:41,632 --> 01:27:42,925
to operate the world
of Kevin Hart,
2064
01:27:42,925 --> 01:27:44,551
and she's a villager.
2065
01:27:44,551 --> 01:27:45,928
What's a villager?
2066
01:27:45,928 --> 01:27:47,888
Wow, Kevin, I gotta say,
2067
01:27:47,888 --> 01:27:49,431
you certainly have changed.
2068
01:27:49,431 --> 01:27:51,225
No, I just learned
to appreciate the people
2069
01:27:51,225 --> 01:27:54,395
that matter the most in my life.
2070
01:27:54,395 --> 01:27:56,730
♪ Lovely day lovely day
lovely day... ♪
2071
01:27:56,730 --> 01:28:01,110
Well, does that mean that
you're in for Jefferson's 2?
2072
01:28:01,110 --> 01:28:04,154
Yeah. Just gotta check
with my stuntman first.
2073
01:28:04,154 --> 01:28:05,739
♪ Lovely day lovely day... ♪
2074
01:28:05,864 --> 01:28:07,324
Isn't he in prison now?
2075
01:28:07,324 --> 01:28:09,493
♪ Lovely day lovely day... ♪
2076
01:28:09,493 --> 01:28:13,080
He is.
2077
01:28:13,080 --> 01:28:15,874
Yeah, I don't know.
It slipped my mind.
2078
01:28:15,874 --> 01:28:17,418
Ah, I forgot.
2079
01:28:19,336 --> 01:28:21,005
Forgot?
2080
01:28:27,344 --> 01:28:29,096
Hey. Hey, guard.
2081
01:28:29,096 --> 01:28:31,890
Guard!
Hey, let me out of here.
2082
01:28:31,890 --> 01:28:33,434
I'm telling you,
you got the wrong guy.
2083
01:28:33,434 --> 01:28:36,353
Shut the up!
- I'm Kevin Hart.
2084
01:28:36,353 --> 01:28:38,731
I'm Kevin Hart!
143750
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