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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,400 (Narrator) History has known many liars - 2 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:09,200 Copernicus, Goebbels, 3 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,400 Saint Ralph the Liar. 4 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:16,200 But there have been none quite so vile as the Tudor king, Henry VII. 5 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:20,900 He rewrote history to portray his predecessor, Richard III, 6 00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:28,000 as a deformed maniac who killed his nephews in the Tower. 7 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:33,000 But the real truth is that Richard was a kind, thoughtful man 8 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,400 who cherished his young wards. 9 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,500 In particular Richard, Duke of York, 10 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:44,000 who grew into a big, strong boy. 11 00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:46,900 Henry claimed he won the Battle of Bosworth Field, 12 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:49,100 and killed Richard III. 13 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,500 Again, the truth is very different. 14 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:56,500 It was Richard, Duke of York, who became king after Bosworth Field 15 00:00:56,700 --> 00:01:00,200 and reigned for 13 glorious years. 16 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,900 As for who killed Richard III 17 00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:05,400 and how Henry Tudor escaped with his life, 18 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:10,000 all is revealed in this, the first chapter of a history never told, 19 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:14,500 the history of The Black Adder. 20 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:21,300 Silence, silence for the King! 21 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,400 Now is the summer of our sweet content, 22 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:31,000 made o'ercast winter by these Tudor clowns. 23 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:37,200 And I that am not shaped for black-faced war... (Cheering) 24 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:41,900 ..I that am rudely cast and want true majesty... 25 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,600 (Booing) 26 00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:49,300 ..am forced to fight to set sweet England free. 27 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,600 I pray to Heaven we fare well 28 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:55,600 and all who fight us go to hell! 29 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,400 (All) Hurrah! 30 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,200 Absolutely, hurrah! 31 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,700 Who is that? 32 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,200 I know not, My Lord. I'll ask my son. 33 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:12,300 Harry, who is that? 34 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:16,200 - Your other son, My Lord. - It is my other son, My Lord. 35 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:19,300 Fights he with us on the morrow? 36 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:24,100 - What's his name? - Edmund. 37 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,400 Edna! Fight you with us on the morrow? 38 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:33,900 Oh, goodness, no. I thought I'd fight with the enemy. 39 00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:44,100 He won't be anywhere near me, will he? 40 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,500 No, he'll be amongst the rabble. 41 00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:51,700 - Oh, arrow fodder. - Precisely. 42 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,100 What a little turd. 43 00:03:55,400 --> 00:04:00,500 Percy, you see how the King picks me out for special greeting? 44 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,900 - No, My Lord. - I saw it, My Lord. 45 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,700 Ah! And what is your name, little fellow? 46 00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:10,200 Baldrick, My Lord. 47 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,700 Then I shall call you...Baldrick. 48 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:17,600 And I shall call you "My Lord", My Lord. 49 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,300 I like the cut of your jib, young fellow-me-lad. 50 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:25,200 How'd you like to be my squire in the battle tomorrow? 51 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,500 It will be a great day for we nobles. 52 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:33,000 Not if we lose, Percy. If we lose, I'll be chopped to pieces. 53 00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:36,500 My arms will end up in Essex, my torso in Norfolk, 54 00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:40,100 and my genitalia in a tree somewhere in Rutland. 55 00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:43,700 With you at the helm, My Lord, we cannot lose. 56 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,900 We could if we wanted to. 57 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:51,700 Ah, but we won't, Percy. I shall prove to all that I am a man. 58 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:54,300 But you are a man. 59 00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:57,300 But how shall it be proved, Percy? 60 00:04:57,500 --> 00:05:00,100 By looking up the tree in Rutland. 61 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:04,000 It shall be proved by mine enemies 62 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,000 rushing to the water closet in terror. 63 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,500 - Hurrah! - Hurrah. 64 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:12,100 A toast! Let all those who go to don armour tomorrow 65 00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:18,000 remember to go before they don armour tomorrow! 66 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:23,700 Already, I can hear the sound of battle ringing in my ears. 67 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:29,900 Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more. 68 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:37,200 Consign their parts most private to a Rutland tree. 69 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:42,100 Let "Blood, blood, blood" be your motto! 70 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:47,300 Slit their gizzards! 71 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:51,800 Now, I'm afraid there's going to have to be 72 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,100 a certain amount of...violence. 73 00:05:54,300 --> 00:06:00,000 But at least we know it's all in a good cause, don't we? 74 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,200 (Cheering) 75 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:06,200 And gentlemen in London still a-bed 76 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,500 shall think themselves acursed they were not here. 77 00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:12,900 And hold their manhood cheap, 78 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:17,300 while others speak of those who fought with us 79 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:22,100 on Ralph the Liar's Day! 80 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:28,500 (Snoring) 81 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,900 (Knock on the door) 82 00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:40,300 Edmund? 83 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:44,900 - Edmund! - Oh, Mother, what do you want? 84 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,200 Did you want to go to battle today? 85 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:52,700 (Alarm clock rings) 86 00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:56,200 It's eleven o'clock! 87 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,100 - M'lord? - What is it? 88 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:10,100 - Where is this battle, then? - Somewhere called Bosworth Field. 89 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:14,200 (Edmund) Ah! 90 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,200 (Edmund) Damn, damn! 91 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:22,100 First decent battle since I've reached puberty. 92 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:28,900 - Here we are, My Lord. - Onward, Baldrick, to glory! 93 00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:34,700 (Swords clash and horses whinny) 94 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,400 Y-yes, um... 95 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:44,200 I'm not so sure we're needed, Baldrick. 96 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:48,400 Everything seems to be going very well, doesn't it? 97 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:51,100 Everyone's fighting, 98 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,500 clearly having the time of their lives. 99 00:07:54,700 --> 00:08:01,200 Why, some people over there aren't fighting, they're just lying down! 100 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,900 - They're dead, My Lord. - Ah. 101 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,400 Damn, I knew I'd forgotten something. 102 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,600 Would you excuse me, Baldrick? 103 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:21,300 Your Majesty, you've lost your steed. Take mine. 104 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:27,400 I've won the battle and saved the kingdom. I can find myself a horse. 105 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,000 True, My Lord. I'll see you at the castle. 106 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,800 So be it. 107 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:37,900 A horse! (Whistles) 108 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,900 A horse. 109 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,000 My kingdom for a horse. 110 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,400 Ah! 111 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:48,000 Horsey. 112 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:02,200 Oi! That's my horse! 113 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:14,200 There. That'll teach you! 114 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:21,500 You won't be doing that again, will you? 115 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,400 Oh, my God, it's Uncle Richard. 116 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:30,200 Aaaaaaargh! 117 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:34,800 What's up, My Lord? 118 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:40,400 Oh, dear, Richard III. 119 00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:43,100 What are you going to do? 120 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,500 Quick. 121 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,400 Hold it there. 122 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:05,000 My Lord! 123 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:21,400 (Baldrick groans) 124 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:25,300 Will you wait? Will you wait? 125 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:29,200 Oh, well done. 126 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,300 Where's the head? 127 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:37,800 - I thought you had it. - I can't carry everything! 128 00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:41,500 (Footsteps) 129 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:47,000 Percy, you brainless son of a prostitute, where've you been? 130 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:51,400 I've just proved that I'm a man. Look what I've found! 131 00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:55,900 Oh, thank God. Put it down and let's get out of here! 132 00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:59,100 - I found it, it's mine. - What do you mean, yours? 133 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,300 I need it to prove I killed a nobleman. 134 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:05,500 And which nobleman, pray? 135 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,300 Er... 136 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:12,200 Well, it's the King, actually. 137 00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:23,400 - Lost! All is lost! - What? 138 00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:26,200 Flee! Flee! 139 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,600 - Quick, let's get out of here. - Take me too! 140 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,100 Get your hands off! 141 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,800 If you leave me, I'll die. 142 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:38,300 If you don't leave me alone, I'll kill you. 143 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:42,100 - Come on, Baldrick! - I'll give you money. 144 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:47,800 10,000 sovereigns! 145 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,200 - Mother! - Edmund, dear. How did it go? 146 00:11:56,500 --> 00:12:00,100 Within seconds, Henry Tudor will be at our gates! 147 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,700 But I'm not ready. I haven't had a bath yet. 148 00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:06,500 Mother, Henry is our enemy. 149 00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:10,900 His men will brutally ravish you and every woman in the castle. 150 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,100 Oh, well. I shan't bother to change, then. 151 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,900 My Lord! 152 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:20,600 - What do you want? - Listen! (Drums) 153 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:24,900 Oh, my God. They're here already. Run for your lives! 154 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:29,100 - Run for the hills! - They're coming from the hills. 155 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:33,300 Sorry, run away from the hills! Run away from the hills! 156 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:36,900 If you see the hills, run the other way! 157 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:40,100 But they're flying King Richard's banner. 158 00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:44,900 - That's impossible. He's dead. - King Richard - dead? 159 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:49,800 Yes. Er...God knows how. 160 00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:54,900 Oh, dear. That's really upset the tulip cart. 161 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,800 The flags are just a cunning trick to deceive us. 162 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,100 (Baldrick) My Lord, it's not a cunning trick. 163 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:06,000 No, because we've seen through it. They obviously thought it was... 164 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,300 (Baldrick) I don't think they thought it up. 165 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,300 (Edmund) They borrowed it? 166 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,100 (Baldrick) I don't think it's a trick at all. 167 00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:17,100 You don't think using someone else's banner is a trick? 168 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,000 (Crash) Aah! 169 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,600 (Percy) It's only your father. 170 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:28,600 - Who locked that bloody door? - Richard, it's you! 171 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,500 Who did you expect? 172 00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,900 I thought it would be Henry Tulip. 173 00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:37,800 Henry Tulip? Have you lost your conkers? 174 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,600 - So you won? - Yes, of course. We won! 175 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:46,100 We won! Victory! (All cheer) 176 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,400 So I suppose now you want to ravish me. 177 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,300 Yes, yes, in a moment. 178 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,400 The woman's insatiable. 179 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:59,100 Three cheers for good King Richard. Hup, hup... 180 00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:01,500 (All) Huzzah! 181 00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:04,100 - Hup, hup... - Huzzah! 182 00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:05,700 Huzzah! 183 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:10,600 We just need King Richard here and the day shall be complete! 184 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:15,400 Yes. What a pity he's dead. 185 00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:18,600 What! Who told you that? 186 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,000 Well, Edmund. 187 00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:24,600 Is this true? 188 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:30,800 Er...I wouldn't know, really. I was nowhere near him at the time. 189 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,400 I just heard from someone, er... 190 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,600 I mean, I don't even know where he was killed. 191 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,200 I was on the opposite side of the field, 192 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:44,300 nowhere near the cottage... Not that it was the cottage. 193 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:48,500 It was the river. But I wouldn't know, because I wasn't there. 194 00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:53,600 Apparently, some fool cut his head off...or killed him in some way. 195 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:58,800 Or took an ear off. Yes, in fact, I think he was only wounded. 196 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,800 Er...or was that somebody else? 197 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:06,000 He wasn't even wounded. Why, did someone say he was dead? 198 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,300 - Yes! - What? 199 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:12,100 It's true, My Lord. I stumbled on his body. 200 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:17,000 Oh, pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth! 201 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,000 That's enough of that. 202 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,000 Thank you, Harry. 203 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:24,000 Thank you, Harry! 204 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:32,200 Yes, and we all know who did this dreadful deed, don't we? 205 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:38,100 Yes - Henry Tudor! 206 00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:42,100 And he still roams free. 207 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,800 Harry, call for silence! 208 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:50,500 Silence! 209 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:56,900 For the King! 210 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:05,300 (All) Long live King Richard IV! 211 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:10,300 This day has been, as t'were, a mighty stew, 212 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,700 in which the beef of victory was mixed 213 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,100 with the vile turnip of sweet Richard slain 214 00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:21,000 and the grisly dumpling of his killer fled. 215 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:25,500 But we must eat the yellow wobbly parts the good Lord serves. 216 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:33,800 In life, each man gets what he deserves! 217 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,300 Well, come on. Let's go and kill some more prisoners. Hup, hup... 218 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:43,000 (All) Huzzah! 219 00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,200 (All three) Hurrah! 220 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:57,100 We're safe and I am a prince of the realm. 221 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,900 Hup, hup... 222 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,700 - Huzzah! - H-huzzah. 223 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:05,400 - Can you imagine the power? - It's ours, all ours! 224 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,600 - What? - Yours, all yours! 225 00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:12,400 Ah, Edmund, there you are. 226 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:17,200 It's early, but I'd like to sort out these battle averages. 227 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:21,000 - Who did you kill today? - Um... 228 00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:24,000 no one. 229 00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:28,500 no one! Oh, dear. I'll put you down for a duck, then. 230 00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:32,100 I'm afraid that takes you out of the running 231 00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:35,500 - for the Legion Of Honour. - Oh, I see. Sorry. 232 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:38,200 I thought you meant had I killed King Richard. 233 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,700 What? 234 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,200 What...was the question? 235 00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:46,400 Who did you kill today? 236 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:50,700 Oh, I see. Er, right... Er... Let's see. 237 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,500 (He mouths) Pedant. 238 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,500 What? 239 00:17:55,800 --> 00:18:00,200 Pleasant...Pedant. P...Peas... 240 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,000 Peasants! There were a lot of peasants. 241 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:06,300 But they don't really count, do they? 242 00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:10,400 Only in the event of a tie. So, how many did you kill?? 243 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,400 - Oh, four... - Four. 244 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,600 ..handred. 245 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,200 Four handred...hand. 246 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:23,200 Four hundred...hand fifty. 247 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:28,600 Four hundred and fifty! That's three times more than myself! 248 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,000 - I had a couple of lucky breaks. - Nobles? 249 00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:37,800 Ah, nobles... Let me see. I think...Lord Coverdale. 250 00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:40,000 Who fought on our side, I believe. 251 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:45,100 I think Lord Coverdale saw me slaying...um... 252 00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:48,700 - Warwick. - Warwick the Wild, of Leicester? 253 00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:52,300 Yes. Pretty wild he was too. He took some finishing off. 254 00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:56,500 Yes, I killed him myself at one point. Anyone else? 255 00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:59,500 Um... Er... Now, let me see. Er... 256 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:03,900 I'm just trying to put names to faces. 257 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:08,300 Well, this is the list of lords as yet unaccounted for. 258 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:11,900 - Roger de Runcey. - Oh, yes, he was one of mine. 259 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:15,500 - Lord Thomas of Devon. - Ah, yes, back-slash. 260 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:18,500 - Lord Yeovil. - Yes, groin job. 261 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:23,800 This is remarkable, Edmund! Oh, and the Bishop of Bath and Wells... 262 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,900 Will never walk again! 263 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,700 ..will conduct the thanksgiving service. 264 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:32,700 Oh, Bath...and Wells! 265 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:39,300 Ah, Lord Percy. Edmund tells me you turned up late for the battle, 266 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:45,900 so there's not much point in asking you your score, is there? 267 00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:50,200 - Ha-ha! - A-ha-ha!Ha! 268 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:54,500 At last, I can relax. 269 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:57,100 Who the hell is this? 270 00:19:57,300 --> 00:20:02,100 Ah, well, you remember that dying man we saw in the cottage? 271 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:07,000 The one I specifically told you not to bring back to the castle? 272 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,900 - That's the one. - So what's he doing in my bed? 273 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,100 He claims to be a wealthy man. 274 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:17,400 I thought if we nurse him back to health, he may reward us. 275 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,800 Now, wait! I think I have an idea. 276 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:26,100 If he is a wealthy man and we nurse him back to health, 277 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,200 he may reward us! 278 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,300 Brilliant, My Lord. Good thinking. 279 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,600 (Both) Thank you, Baldrick. 280 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,600 Well, what would you expect? 281 00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:41,100 After all, who has the fastest brain in the land? 282 00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:43,600 Prince Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh. 283 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:47,100 Who is the boldest horseman in the land? 284 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,300 - Prince Edmund... - ..Duke of Edinburgh. 285 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,400 Who is the bravest swordsman in the land? 286 00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,400 Don't tell me. That Earl from Norfolk. 287 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,000 Prince... 288 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,100 - (Both) Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh. - Precisely. 289 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:03,600 Or, as I shall be known from now on... 290 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:09,800 The Black Vegetable. 291 00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:15,600 My Lord, wouldn't something like The Black Adder sound better? 292 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,800 No, wait. 293 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,100 I think I have a better idea. 294 00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:28,600 What about...The Black Adder? 295 00:21:32,300 --> 00:21:33,900 That one! 296 00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:36,000 That pair! 297 00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:39,800 That one! 298 00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:59,400 - Very witty, My Lord. - Thank you, Baldrick. 299 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:03,900 - Very, very, very witty, My Lord. - Thank you, Percy. 300 00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:06,900 You're certainly wittier than your father. 301 00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:10,400 And head and shoulders over Richard III! 302 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,200 Is that supposed to be witty? 303 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,300 Er... No, My Lord. 304 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,300 Th-that was an example of the sort of thing 305 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,100 that you yourself would not stoop to. 306 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:28,000 - Go away! - (Both) Yes, My Lord. 307 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:48,800 - You're still here, are you? - Er... Yes. 308 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,400 Haven't I seen you somewhere before? 309 00:22:56,700 --> 00:23:02,100 I don't know. I feel that I've seen you before, also. 310 00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:07,700 I am Prince Edmund, son of Richard IV. 311 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:11,200 - Who are you? - I'm not important. 312 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,400 You mean you're not rich? 313 00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:16,500 Yes, I'm incredibly rich. 314 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,300 I'm a very wealthy, um... 315 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:23,600 ..modest person, who wishes to remain nameless. 316 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,700 You'd better be rich. 317 00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:31,300 Get your money together, get better and get out of my bed! 318 00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:42,300 Oh, yes, very fetching. 319 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:46,200 Aaargh! 320 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,100 And hello to you. 321 00:23:51,300 --> 00:23:55,400 (In high-pitched voice) Hello. Goodness me. 322 00:23:55,700 --> 00:24:00,500 I hadn't expected to see you...like this. 323 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,700 - Sitting down, you mean? - Yes, that's right. Sitting down. 324 00:24:05,900 --> 00:24:08,900 Goodness, look, you're sitting down. 325 00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:13,600 Good Lord, I haven't seen you sitting down since... 326 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,200 Yesterday? 327 00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:18,400 Was it only yesterday? Good Lord. 328 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:23,600 Um... Er... Well... How was your battle? 329 00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:25,900 Fine. Someone cut my head off, 330 00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:30,400 but apart from that it went swimmingly. How are you, Edna? 331 00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:33,300 - Edmund. - Your father said Edna. 332 00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:34,700 No... 333 00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:39,100 So, Edna, you loathsome little fairy maggot, how are you? 334 00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:43,500 How very kind of you to ask, Your Majesty. 335 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,600 I'm very well. 336 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:49,600 And it's very good to see you, because, frankly... 337 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:54,000 - Yes? - Well, frankly, er... 338 00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:56,600 Gosh, you look well. 339 00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:01,100 Frankly, what? Spit it out, you horrid, little, scabby reptile. 340 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:07,500 Um... Well, frankly, everyone thought you were dead. 341 00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:11,700 Well, frankly, I am. 342 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:15,100 (Knock at door) Do come in. 343 00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:18,100 - No, don't come in! - Why not? 344 00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:22,800 - Have you got someone in there? - Um... Not as such. 345 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,600 - Is it a woman? - No. 346 00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:29,500 - Is it a man? - Um... 347 00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:34,900 Um... Yes, it is. 348 00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:37,600 You hesitated, Edmund. 349 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,100 It's not a sheep, is it? 350 00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:44,500 - It certainly isn't a sheep. - Well, then, let me in. 351 00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:50,200 So farewell, Edna. You'll be seeing me later. 352 00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:54,300 Um... Have, er... 353 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,900 Have you got transport? 354 00:25:57,100 --> 00:26:01,100 Perhaps you'd like to borrow my horse again. 355 00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:04,900 I mean...not that you've borrowed it before. 356 00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:09,100 Coming. 357 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:19,100 Are you all right, Edmund? You look as if you've just seen a ghost. 358 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,700 Hurry up, anyway. You're expected at the banquet. 359 00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:25,800 Look, um...Mother, er... 360 00:26:26,100 --> 00:26:32,100 You won't tell anyone about my oversleeping this morning? 361 00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:36,900 Would I? Do I tell people that your brother Harry is scared of spoons? 362 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:42,300 Or that your father has very small private parts? 363 00:26:42,700 --> 00:26:44,900 Mother! 364 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,200 (Edmund) Baa! Ba-aa-ah. 365 00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:51,100 Oh, Edmund. 366 00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:56,600 It's the lying I find so hurtful. 367 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,500 Baa-aaa. 368 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,000 We'll slit it right up here! 369 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,500 So sorry I'm late. 370 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,200 Hold! You dare sit there, boy? 371 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,700 Would you insult King Richard's ghost? 372 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,200 Um... No. 373 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,700 No, sorry. 374 00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:30,000 Yes, find your own chair, you smelly little dog's pizzle. 375 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,600 How many prisoners have you got, Harry? 376 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,800 I'm not Harry, I'm Richard. 377 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,300 - Send a brace to my room. - (Harry) Do you want them hung? 378 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,400 - Hello? - I want to practise my backhand! 379 00:27:47,700 --> 00:27:50,800 After the way you slaughtered Lord Stanley! 380 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,300 Hello! 381 00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:59,200 - Oh, I wish Uncle Dickie was here. - Don't Dickie me, duckie. 382 00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:05,400 Tonight, honoured friends, 383 00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:10,100 we are gathered to celebrate a great victory 384 00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:13,100 and to mourn a great loss. 385 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,100 A toast to our triumph! 386 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,100 (All) Our triumph! 387 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,600 And I raise a royal curse 388 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,700 upon the man who slew Richard, our noble king! 389 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,300 It was him! 390 00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:30,700 - Oh, my God! - Quiet at the end! 391 00:28:30,900 --> 00:28:34,000 - Whoever it was... - It was Edna! 392 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,500 - ..wherever he be... - He's there! 393 00:28:36,700 --> 00:28:40,800 - ..he shall be struck down! - Do it, you oaf, he's there! 394 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,100 - It wasn't me! - Who said that? 395 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,100 The idiot who killed me. 396 00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:48,400 - I didn't. - Well, then, who did? 397 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,500 - It was Edmund who interrupted. - Hang him! 398 00:28:51,700 --> 00:28:56,100 - Aargh! - I will have silence! 399 00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:00,800 Another toast. To dead King Richard. 400 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,700 Oh, my God. 401 00:29:03,900 --> 00:29:08,300 - Gentlemen. - (All) King Richard! 402 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,200 Thank you very much for nothing. Thank you so much. 403 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,100 That's the last you'll see of me. 404 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:20,100 Not that you've seen much of me anyway. 405 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:26,500 Now that we have silence, we shall continue the desecration ceremony. 406 00:29:26,700 --> 00:29:31,400 Produce the portrait of the pretender, Henry Tudor. 407 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:36,500 (Booing and hissing) 408 00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:42,300 Oh, my God! 409 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:55,900 - Good evening. - Where's Henry Tudor? 410 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,900 Baa-aaa. 411 00:30:00,100 --> 00:30:04,500 Where is he? Where is he! 412 00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:09,800 Whoo-oo. 413 00:30:19,700 --> 00:30:24,000 Thank you so much. 414 00:30:38,300 --> 00:30:43,200 (Wailing) 415 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,200 - Oh! - Hail! 416 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:52,700 - Hail! - Hail! 417 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,400 - Ruler of men. - Ravisher of women. 418 00:30:56,600 --> 00:31:01,200 - Slayer of kings! - Be gone, hideous crones. 419 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,900 - Be not amazed. - Be not overcome with fear. 420 00:31:05,100 --> 00:31:08,800 Be not paralysed with terror. 421 00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:13,500 Why have you lured me here, you loathsome drabs? 422 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:15,800 We bear good news. 423 00:31:16,100 --> 00:31:19,900 What news could such repulsive harbingers convey? 424 00:31:20,100 --> 00:31:22,900 Today has brought misfortune. 425 00:31:23,100 --> 00:31:27,300 - But one day... - (All) Oh, glorious day! 426 00:31:27,500 --> 00:31:33,300 - One day... - (All) Oh, happy day! 427 00:31:33,900 --> 00:31:35,100 Yes? 428 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,600 (All) You shall be King! 429 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,800 Really? 430 00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:42,700 Yes. 431 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,000 Your Majesty. 432 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:48,800 Well, that is good news, isn't it? 433 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:54,200 God be with you, you snaggle-toothed vultures. 434 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,900 History - here I come! 435 00:31:58,300 --> 00:32:01,900 # The sound of hoof-beats 'cross the glade 436 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,000 # Good folk, lock up your son and daughter 437 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:10,000 # Beware the deadly flashing blade 438 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,500 # Unless you want to end up shorter 439 00:32:13,700 --> 00:32:15,500 # Black Adder 440 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,600 # Black Adder 441 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:21,600 # He rides a pitch-black steed 442 00:32:21,900 --> 00:32:25,500 # Black Adder, Black Adder 443 00:32:25,700 --> 00:32:30,000 # He's very bad indeed 444 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:34,200 # Black, his gloves of finest mole 445 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:38,200 # Black, his codpiece made of metal 446 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:42,300 # His horse is blacker than a vole 447 00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:45,900 # His pot is blacker than his kettle 448 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:49,900 # Black Adder, Black Adder 449 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:53,800 # With many a cunning plan 450 00:32:54,100 --> 00:32:58,200 # Black Adder, Black Adder 451 00:32:58,500 --> 00:33:04,100 # You horrid little man! # 452 00:33:04,100 --> 00:33:06,300 He wasn't as I expected. 453 00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:08,600 I thought he was very rude. 454 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:12,400 I thought Henry Tudor would be better looking. 455 00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:15,300 Yes, not so Jewish. 456 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:20,100 More like that man who rode by before. 457 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:26,200 - We've done it again! - You silly witches! 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 34160