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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:03,194 --> 00:00:06,359
And as we know,
there is a town in Finland
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00:00:06,431 --> 00:00:10,418
called Fjuurn comprised
entirely of lonely people.
3
00:00:10,419 --> 00:00:14,074
Recent computers have discovered
a town in Vietnam Huan
4
00:00:14,075 --> 00:00:17,555
whose populace is also
romantically unattached.
5
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One Fjuurnian for
each single Huanian.
6
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Compatible ages,
interests, fetishes, peccadilli.
7
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Following this finding,
Fjuurn became shy.
8
00:00:28,524 --> 00:00:33,093
Every citizen blushed so much,
the temperature rose 9 degrees.
9
00:00:33,094 --> 00:00:37,227
A soft, red glow
could be seen from space.
10
00:00:37,228 --> 00:00:40,100
It was from this vantage
that astro-matchmakers
11
00:00:40,101 --> 00:00:43,233
noticed the skyline
of these two locales,
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00:00:43,234 --> 00:00:47,585
every mountain & valley,
tower & well, house & hole
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00:00:47,586 --> 00:00:49,718
were a perfect, interlocking fit,
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00:00:49,719 --> 00:00:52,199
a precise inverse of one another
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like a hot dog slipped snugly
into a set of human buns.
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00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:57,682
Meant to be.
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One night Science got drunk
18
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and decided to force fate to happen.
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They folded one over other using
cranes and a finger of skylube.
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After the carnage
of penetration,
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each subsequent municipal pump
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00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:16,310
was hotter than that
which preceded it.
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The next morning as the sun
scorched off the fog of abandon,
24
00:01:21,185 --> 00:01:24,057
Huan awoke alone
to discover that Fjuurn
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00:01:24,058 --> 00:01:26,973
had secretly taped the whole thing.
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00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:29,584
It was all over the net.
27
00:01:29,585 --> 00:01:34,632
Humiliated, Huan threw itself
off the edge of the Earth.
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00:01:34,633 --> 00:01:36,765
But Fjuurn was taping that, too,
29
00:01:36,766 --> 00:01:39,942
so they'd always have
proof of Huan's love...
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00:01:39,943 --> 00:01:42,379
something to give
Fjuurn the confidence
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00:01:42,380 --> 00:01:45,208
to finally love itself.
32
00:01:49,431 --> 00:01:54,435
And yet Dr Ton Bntu extracted
a lateral infarction
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00:01:54,436 --> 00:01:55,784
in the optic chiasm
34
00:01:55,785 --> 00:01:58,830
so Eban Dylfyl,
blind since birth,
35
00:01:58,831 --> 00:02:01,529
could see
the world for the first time.
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00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:04,358
I am going to remove
the bandages, Mr. Dylfyl.
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00:02:04,359 --> 00:02:06,447
- Are you ready?
- I can't wait!
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C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
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00:02:12,019 --> 00:02:13,933
You gotta be kidding me.
That's it?
40
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,305
- Can you see?
- Yeah but I just always pictured
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00:02:16,306 --> 00:02:18,241
the world was gonna be, like,
beautiful, ya know?
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00:02:18,242 --> 00:02:20,026
You need more time
to get used to it...?
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00:02:20,027 --> 00:02:22,202
I don't wanna get used to this.
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00:02:22,203 --> 00:02:24,465
It's worser than trash.
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00:02:24,466 --> 00:02:27,424
Its freakin' common.
46
00:02:27,425 --> 00:02:33,213
- Well, maybe try nature.
- Lame. Ughk.
47
00:02:33,214 --> 00:02:35,258
My eyes're gonna puke.
48
00:02:37,435 --> 00:02:39,132
I'm sorry,
but this is the world.
49
00:02:39,133 --> 00:02:43,136
Well, you need to fix it now
or I'm gonna get you fired!
50
00:02:43,137 --> 00:02:45,399
You'll be on the streets
eating cardboard dirt!
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No sauce.
No beverage.
52
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- Like I ate!
- A Dr's sacred mission
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00:02:50,573 --> 00:02:54,277
is to do everything in his power
to avoid losing his job.
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00:02:57,368 --> 00:03:00,501
Aw, now this is more
like it.
55
00:03:00,502 --> 00:03:02,807
Whoa, whoa!
56
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:06,072
Whoa!
Wow.
57
00:03:06,073 --> 00:03:08,683
After he fingered
the seam of sight,
58
00:03:08,684 --> 00:03:12,861
Eban managed to escape into the
realm that lives behind vision.
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00:03:12,862 --> 00:03:16,038
- Wow!
- Yes!
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00:03:16,039 --> 00:03:17,799
There is no survival skill greater
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00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:21,391
than man's ability to save face.
62
00:03:21,392 --> 00:03:24,612
Having true pride is never
letting anyone know
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00:03:24,613 --> 00:03:27,745
- they got to you.
- Check out this piece of trash.
64
00:03:27,746 --> 00:03:31,271
So when Gil Minugm
got tripped by a bully,
65
00:03:31,272 --> 00:03:34,187
he just kept falling
as if he meant to do it.
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00:03:34,188 --> 00:03:36,276
As long as he pretended
to tumble,
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00:03:36,277 --> 00:03:38,974
he kept his self-respect.
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00:03:38,975 --> 00:03:42,195
He committed to his pride
all thru life.
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00:03:42,196 --> 00:03:46,112
Dignity flowed from him
like body water.
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00:03:46,113 --> 00:03:48,288
He slipsy-won the city marathon
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00:03:48,289 --> 00:03:52,074
and became the first man
to fall up Mt. Everest.
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00:03:52,075 --> 00:03:56,296
He managed to meet
and injure fun, new people.
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00:03:56,297 --> 00:03:58,646
He fell into a relationship
with a girl
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00:03:58,647 --> 00:04:02,215
who he could express
his pride up in every position,
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00:04:02,216 --> 00:04:05,566
from dignified doggy
to respectful cowgirl.
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00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:07,568
Even butt stuff.
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00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:13,182
Ahh... Wasn't
that a lovely ceremony?
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00:04:13,183 --> 00:04:16,403
Sometimes I think
you're falling on purpose
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00:04:16,404 --> 00:04:18,492
to avoid grappling
with life's real challenges.
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00:04:18,493 --> 00:04:22,148
What? No.
I just happen to be falling.
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00:04:22,149 --> 00:04:24,280
Whoa, whoops.
See?
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00:04:24,281 --> 00:04:26,456
When you say that it diminishes validity
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00:04:26,457 --> 00:04:28,719
from people
who are really falling, like me.
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00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,810
You're not really falling
any more than I am.
85
00:04:32,811 --> 00:04:34,725
We're both just going
through the motions.
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00:04:34,726 --> 00:04:36,706
- Whoa, whoa!
- I need to be with someone
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00:04:36,707 --> 00:04:38,512
who can grab life
by the scruff of the ass.
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00:04:40,341 --> 00:04:44,387
After their first fight, a
couple can slow its faux bumble
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00:04:44,388 --> 00:04:46,868
and finally hold each other
in its gaze,
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00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,611
forever safe, invincible.
91
00:04:50,307 --> 00:04:54,484
Aah!
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00:04:59,055 --> 00:05:01,187
You! Are you a relative
of the victim?
93
00:05:01,188 --> 00:05:04,538
That, uh, gunk there is my wife.
94
00:05:04,539 --> 00:05:06,192
The only way these folks survive
95
00:05:06,193 --> 00:05:10,239
- is if I sew them together right now.
- Can you do that?
96
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,503
I trained as a surgeon
specializing in hybrids.
97
00:05:13,504 --> 00:05:14,852
Lousy job market means
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00:05:14,853 --> 00:05:16,593
that I gotta drive
a Goddamn ambulance
99
00:05:16,594 --> 00:05:17,594
to make ends meet.
100
00:05:17,595 --> 00:05:19,857
- Do you want her to die?!
- No! No!
101
00:05:19,858 --> 00:05:22,208
- It's just, I don't know...
- Make a decision!
102
00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:24,862
Grab life by the scruff
of the ass!
103
00:05:24,863 --> 00:05:26,995
Okay.
Do it. Do it!
104
00:05:26,996 --> 00:05:29,780
Good now stand back,
pray, and cheer me on.
105
00:05:29,781 --> 00:05:31,826
"Slab, Slab, Slab!"
106
00:05:31,827 --> 00:05:33,523
They called me "Slab"
in med school,
107
00:05:33,524 --> 00:05:35,395
and I don't have long
to tell you this story.
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00:05:35,396 --> 00:05:36,657
C'mon, motivate me!
109
00:05:36,658 --> 00:05:42,228
Umm, Slab... Slab...
Slab... Slab...
110
00:05:42,229 --> 00:05:44,012
Slab... Slab...
Slab... Slab...
111
00:05:44,013 --> 00:05:45,970
So did you have lunch yet?
112
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:49,191
Um, uh, no.
Slab... Slab... Slab... Slab...
113
00:05:49,192 --> 00:05:51,454
Well get yerself something,
menu's on the side.
114
00:05:51,455 --> 00:05:54,414
Wait, this... this ambulance
is a food truck, too?
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00:05:54,415 --> 00:05:57,330
- Slab... Slab... Slab... Slab...
- I told you... hybrids.
116
00:05:57,331 --> 00:06:00,637
Now I recommend the Chi-Loco-
Lo-Mein-Vein Dragon Bowl.
117
00:06:00,638 --> 00:06:03,771
They're little burritos rolled
all the way into noodles!
118
00:06:03,772 --> 00:06:07,992
It's a pretty fun Mexican take
on a traditional Chinese lo mein.
119
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,777
Isn't that a clever lil combo?
120
00:06:09,778 --> 00:06:12,910
Kinda how your wife's gonna end
up if she pulls through!
121
00:06:12,911 --> 00:06:14,303
Get used to combos!
122
00:06:14,304 --> 00:06:16,262
I don't really have an appetite
right now!
123
00:06:16,263 --> 00:06:19,003
Well, family of patients
get 10% off.
124
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,412
I don't know.
Scruff of ass.
125
00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:24,531
Can ya tell me
about the "feel-awfel?"
126
00:06:24,532 --> 00:06:27,142
Okay, that one is our take on
the falafel, obviously.
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00:06:27,143 --> 00:06:30,101
We do it with raw onions
since you're crying, anyway.
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00:06:30,102 --> 00:06:32,626
And if your loved one dies,
you get to keep the cup.
129
00:06:32,627 --> 00:06:35,150
So you walk away a winner
no matter what happens.
130
00:06:35,151 --> 00:06:36,673
I'll...
I'll do one of those.
131
00:06:36,674 --> 00:06:38,458
Okay. Gotta say it through
the window there.
132
00:06:38,459 --> 00:06:40,286
One feel-awfel.
133
00:06:40,287 --> 00:06:42,087
Okay, you're gonna want to get
the grief sauce
134
00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:44,464
- on this, I assume.
- You're gonna cook it, too?
135
00:06:44,465 --> 00:06:48,076
I focus best when I'm doing
two things at once.
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00:06:48,077 --> 00:06:50,470
This is the most
impressive thing
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I've ever witnessed.
Slab! Slab! Slab!
138
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,303
Order up!
139
00:06:57,304 --> 00:06:59,087
Mmm.
Mmm!
140
00:06:59,088 --> 00:07:01,916
Incredible!
How'd you get the edges so, uh...
141
00:07:01,917 --> 00:07:03,265
Crispy on the outside?
142
00:07:03,266 --> 00:07:08,531
- I flash fry 'em before broiling.
- Mmm! Slab! Slab! Slab!
143
00:07:10,186 --> 00:07:13,841
Aaand operation done,
order up!
144
00:07:15,147 --> 00:07:16,974
She's gonna make
a full recovery.
145
00:07:16,975 --> 00:07:20,761
It's kinda my fun take on saving
your wife's life, that's all.
146
00:07:20,762 --> 00:07:23,633
Up top!
147
00:07:23,634 --> 00:07:24,678
What happened?
148
00:07:24,679 --> 00:07:27,724
You were in a terrible accident.
149
00:07:27,725 --> 00:07:29,857
What are you, like, eating?
150
00:07:29,858 --> 00:07:33,513
It's seriously the most
delicious thing I've ever had.
151
00:07:33,514 --> 00:07:35,210
Here, try a bite.
152
00:07:35,211 --> 00:07:36,864
I don't understand
what's going on.
153
00:07:36,865 --> 00:07:41,564
What's going on is I grabbed
life by the scruff of that ass.
154
00:07:41,565 --> 00:07:43,914
Aww!
155
00:07:43,915 --> 00:07:46,700
Mmm.
What smells amazing?
156
00:07:46,701 --> 00:07:48,658
Mmm.
Mmm!
157
00:07:48,659 --> 00:07:51,444
When something
scrumptious blindsides our senses,
158
00:07:51,445 --> 00:07:56,449
we can see the seam of sight
speak its peace. To warn us...
159
00:07:56,450 --> 00:08:00,148
Vision is violence.
160
00:08:00,149 --> 00:08:02,193
What you looking at, twerp?
161
00:08:02,194 --> 00:08:03,804
You a tough guy?
Huh?
162
00:08:03,805 --> 00:08:05,240
You a tough guy?
163
00:08:05,241 --> 00:08:07,024
- I don't know.
- Whatcha mean?
164
00:08:07,025 --> 00:08:10,332
- Are you a tough guy?
- I mean, it's complicated.
165
00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:12,682
I'm not sure
I can categorize myself.
166
00:08:12,683 --> 00:08:15,990
Okay, well here, let me
help you figure it out.
167
00:08:15,991 --> 00:08:19,254
Now, are you a tough guy?
168
00:08:19,255 --> 00:08:22,431
I mean, we all have different
facets to ourselves.
169
00:08:22,432 --> 00:08:24,607
One part may be tough,
aggressive, dominant,
170
00:08:24,608 --> 00:08:26,566
while another side
is introspective and hesitant.
171
00:08:26,567 --> 00:08:30,483
If I'm being honest,
I'm a complex amalgam of both.
172
00:08:30,484 --> 00:08:33,487
OK then,
I'll separate it for ya.
173
00:08:35,663 --> 00:08:40,493
Now the both of yous can hash it
out amongst yourselves. Losers!
174
00:08:40,494 --> 00:08:43,844
- What you looking at, lil half bitch?
- Nothing. I just...
175
00:08:43,845 --> 00:08:46,237
Nothing, I just...
Nothing, I just... I just...
176
00:08:46,238 --> 00:08:48,370
Shut up.
Gimme yer lunch money, now.
177
00:08:48,371 --> 00:08:50,416
But, like,
isn't it our lunch money?
178
00:08:51,940 --> 00:08:54,289
You gonna be a little bitch,
you bitch?
179
00:08:54,290 --> 00:08:56,944
That's not a simple question.
180
00:08:56,945 --> 00:08:59,642
You know, It'd be erroneous to
adhere to one broad label
181
00:08:59,643 --> 00:09:02,079
when Jungian scholars
agree a personality
182
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:06,301
comprises infinite gradations
of 7 archetypical traits.
183
00:09:06,302 --> 00:09:08,477
Here's your 7 component
archetypes right here.
184
00:09:08,478 --> 00:09:11,262
It requires great
strength to analytically
185
00:09:11,263 --> 00:09:14,875
octosect ourselves into
sub-sets of neuroticism,
186
00:09:14,876 --> 00:09:17,007
agreeableness, extroversion,
187
00:09:17,008 --> 00:09:19,401
openness,
conscientiousness,
188
00:09:19,402 --> 00:09:21,969
warmth,
and assertiveness.
189
00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:25,744
Now dat I done helped
you truly know yerself fer free,
190
00:09:25,768 --> 00:09:28,410
why doncha cough up
that lunch money as payment?
191
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,981
I know who I am:
I'm rich!
192
00:09:33,982 --> 00:09:36,679
His Alpha side breezed
through life,
193
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:40,509
grabbing whatever
its half-heart desired.
194
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:44,121
Tragically, his beta half
was forced to develop
195
00:09:44,122 --> 00:09:48,343
a personality and sharpen
his intellect to survive.
196
00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:52,391
Both sides grew up
utterly happy and secretly miserable
197
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,741
because each suspected the other
198
00:09:54,742 --> 00:09:58,440
was actually happy
and not utterly pretending.
199
00:09:58,441 --> 00:10:02,139
They developed a sick fixation
upon each other.
200
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:04,664
Each side snuck to
the other one's house
201
00:10:04,665 --> 00:10:07,362
to creep on
their other side sleeping.
202
00:10:07,363 --> 00:10:10,931
Both were horrified to discover
their other side not home
203
00:10:10,932 --> 00:10:12,933
but probably out having real fun.
204
00:10:14,805 --> 00:10:17,546
They had too much pride
to get back together.
205
00:10:17,547 --> 00:10:21,028
But one afternoon, when they had
both moped off to brood
206
00:10:21,029 --> 00:10:24,858
in a meadow, they inexplicably
felt the re-connection
207
00:10:24,859 --> 00:10:29,166
they had longed for.
They savored the sensation.
208
00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:32,692
As long as they remained
in Eban's healing gaze,
209
00:10:32,693 --> 00:10:34,911
held whole in the stitch
of his sight,
210
00:10:34,912 --> 00:10:39,699
they felt they could do
absolutely anything at all.
211
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:43,119
So that's exactly what they did.
212
00:10:47,403 --> 00:10:50,187
♪ There's blood in the kitchen ♪
213
00:10:50,188 --> 00:10:53,364
♪ There's blood in the hall ♪
214
00:10:53,365 --> 00:10:56,411
♪ There's blood in the parlor ♪
215
00:10:56,412 --> 00:10:59,370
♪ Where my lady did fall ♪
216
00:10:59,371 --> 00:11:05,725
♪ Long Lankin was hanged
on a gibbet so high ♪
217
00:11:05,726 --> 00:11:13,726
♪ When the false nurse was
burned in a fire close by ♪
218
00:11:14,302 --> 00:11:16,808
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