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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Therefore,
Kally Gluntle spent life
2
00:00:04,979 --> 00:00:07,246
wondering if she was invisible.
3
00:00:07,248 --> 00:00:10,249
After searching for a diet
that would earn her the love
4
00:00:10,251 --> 00:00:12,751
she deserved,
Kally discovered eating
5
00:00:12,753 --> 00:00:17,423
celery burns more calories
than it contains.
6
00:00:17,425 --> 00:00:21,427
Once she disappeared completely,
she finally felt seen.
7
00:00:21,429 --> 00:00:25,330
After achieving every girl's
dream of negative weight,
8
00:00:25,332 --> 00:00:27,966
no one could take
their eyes off her.
9
00:00:27,968 --> 00:00:31,303
She turned every head.
The camera loved her,
10
00:00:31,305 --> 00:00:35,740
but one day, she looked up
and found herself full of pity
11
00:00:35,742 --> 00:00:37,976
for the clunky losers of the world
12
00:00:37,978 --> 00:00:40,178
now that she had
all of the attention.
13
00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:44,648
She danced like no one
was watching. It was.
14
00:00:44,650 --> 00:00:46,817
She wondered
where her shyness went,
15
00:00:46,819 --> 00:00:48,087
but it didn't matter
16
00:00:48,088 --> 00:00:50,721
because she was happy
and forever free.
17
00:01:00,003 --> 00:01:03,504
But no matter how hard they try,
some women are too weak
18
00:01:03,506 --> 00:01:05,573
to ignore the suffering of others.
19
00:01:05,575 --> 00:01:07,241
Here.
It's only half a sandwich.
20
00:01:07,243 --> 00:01:10,411
Thanks, ma'am,
but I'm not a charity case.
21
00:01:10,413 --> 00:01:13,948
- It says, "Work for food."
- Really, it's fine.
22
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:16,516
I'd rather starve
than be degraded.
23
00:01:16,518 --> 00:01:19,353
Okay.
What can you do for me?
24
00:01:19,355 --> 00:01:20,787
Well, I used to be a nurse.
25
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,623
I was a hospice nurse.
I could do that.
26
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:24,925
It'll only take a sec.
27
00:01:24,926 --> 00:01:27,194
Lay down. Here we go.
28
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Slip away. Let go.
29
00:01:30,532 --> 00:01:33,233
You don't have to hold on.
30
00:01:33,235 --> 00:01:34,734
Slip into glory.
31
00:01:34,736 --> 00:01:36,803
I can't...
I'm not going to just die.
32
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:39,072
Oh, because I can't earn
my own meals?!
33
00:01:39,074 --> 00:01:41,141
I have never been so insulted!
34
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,909
No. Oh, no, no.
I didn't mean t...
35
00:01:42,911 --> 00:01:47,846
- Okay. I can try.
- Don't be afraid.
36
00:01:47,848 --> 00:01:49,748
Just surrender.
37
00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:51,583
You are loved.
38
00:01:51,585 --> 00:01:53,252
Go towards the light.
39
00:01:53,254 --> 00:01:56,588
The light is love.
40
00:01:56,590 --> 00:01:59,493
Go to it.
Beautiful!
41
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,060
You are at peace now.
42
00:02:01,062 --> 00:02:03,929
Hello? Where am I?
What's happening?
43
00:02:03,931 --> 00:02:06,132
I can finally dig
into this Sammy!
44
00:02:06,134 --> 00:02:08,401
Mmm, pretty nummy!
45
00:02:08,403 --> 00:02:11,737
Wait! Ugh!
Is there mayo in this Sam-sam?
46
00:02:11,739 --> 00:02:13,239
Yeah.
It was a ham and mayonnaise.
47
00:02:13,241 --> 00:02:15,141
Dang!
Why didn't you tell me?
48
00:02:15,143 --> 00:02:17,476
- I hate mayo!
- You didn't specify!
49
00:02:17,478 --> 00:02:18,745
Can't you just scrape it off?
50
00:02:18,746 --> 00:02:23,782
Like, actual ew! I would
know it used to be there.
51
00:02:23,784 --> 00:02:26,118
Can you help me get out of here?
52
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,818
Oh... oh, yeah.
O... of course.
53
00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:32,357
Sorry. Move forth, gentle.
Make your first left.
54
00:02:32,359 --> 00:02:35,127
You'll see a door.
Go right through there.
55
00:02:35,128 --> 00:02:37,795
Oh! I think this is hell! Oh!
56
00:02:37,797 --> 00:02:40,665
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is that not what you wanted?
57
00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:43,734
- No!
- Oh, well "you didn't specify."
58
00:02:43,736 --> 00:02:46,804
Oh, it burns!
My skin is burning!
59
00:02:46,806 --> 00:02:49,040
"Can't you just scrape it off?"
60
00:02:49,042 --> 00:02:51,309
Please let me go. I have a kid!
61
00:02:51,311 --> 00:02:55,046
I shall allow you
to remain on Earth
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00:02:55,048 --> 00:02:58,315
if you can complete a simple task.
63
00:02:58,317 --> 00:03:03,788
You must do one selfless act.
64
00:03:05,091 --> 00:03:08,258
Okay. You had the tuna salad
with the crust cut off,
65
00:03:08,260 --> 00:03:10,194
and who ordered the vegan gyro?
66
00:03:10,196 --> 00:03:11,829
Gyro? Gyro? Gyro.
67
00:03:11,831 --> 00:03:13,164
Who ordered the vegan gyro?
68
00:03:13,165 --> 00:03:16,300
Giving food to the poor
is not selfless.
69
00:03:16,302 --> 00:03:20,405
You did it to save yourself.
Fail.
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00:03:20,406 --> 00:03:22,272
I can give away my car,
everything.
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00:03:22,274 --> 00:03:25,509
I feel like you're not
appreciating the elegance
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00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:28,378
of my selfless act paradox.
73
00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:30,981
This is your home now.
74
00:03:30,983 --> 00:03:33,818
I know what to do.
One more chance.
75
00:03:33,819 --> 00:03:36,320
Amy Liblin
rushed home with relish.
76
00:03:36,322 --> 00:03:38,855
Um, excuse me.
What are you doing?
77
00:03:38,857 --> 00:03:41,691
This is, like, over the line, okay?
78
00:03:41,693 --> 00:03:43,327
I'm just doing
what you requested.
79
00:03:43,329 --> 00:03:46,763
I'm not really
following your logic.
80
00:03:46,765 --> 00:03:49,699
I'll explain... right after my lunch.
81
00:03:49,701 --> 00:03:51,235
Ah?
82
00:03:51,237 --> 00:03:54,605
Ah! Ah!
83
00:03:54,607 --> 00:03:56,373
Okay. As long as you're seriously
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00:03:56,375 --> 00:03:58,708
planning to eat your own baby,
85
00:03:58,710 --> 00:04:03,713
I want nothing to do with this.
Like, actual ew!
86
00:04:03,715 --> 00:04:07,083
Amy couldn't bear to make her
child grow up without a mother,
87
00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:10,053
but if she lingered on the brink
of gobbling her little dumpling,
88
00:04:10,055 --> 00:04:13,823
mommy could always be there
for baby's first steps,
89
00:04:13,825 --> 00:04:16,043
her first swim,
90
00:04:16,044 --> 00:04:19,004
first bite of solid
food if mama kept her
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00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:21,965
mouth watering and her stomach growling.
92
00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:26,269
Lady, leave me out of this.
93
00:04:27,405 --> 00:04:29,205
Uncle! Uncle!
94
00:04:29,207 --> 00:04:32,142
But our secrets consume us.
95
00:04:32,144 --> 00:04:34,410
I know it sounds crazy,
but since I was a kid,
96
00:04:34,412 --> 00:04:37,547
I couldn't shake the feeling
that my mom wants to eat me.
97
00:04:37,549 --> 00:04:39,983
And did you ever consider
the possibility
98
00:04:39,985 --> 00:04:42,718
that she did that so that
she could stay in your life?
99
00:04:44,121 --> 00:04:46,555
Did you really want to be there
for me, mom,
100
00:04:46,557 --> 00:04:49,758
or were you just trying
to stay out of hell?
101
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,695
The perk of Dr. Bodgey's
job was front-row seats
102
00:04:52,697 --> 00:04:56,498
to the ding-dong show
like his patient this morning.
103
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:57,767
I don't know, Doc.
104
00:04:57,768 --> 00:04:59,868
People tell me
I should be paranoid,
105
00:04:59,870 --> 00:05:01,904
but I got nothing to be afraid of.
106
00:05:01,906 --> 00:05:04,372
Do you think
it's because of those?
107
00:05:04,374 --> 00:05:06,541
Those what?
What's the problem?
108
00:05:06,543 --> 00:05:11,947
Can you see how your refusal to
be terrified is infuriating to me?
109
00:05:11,949 --> 00:05:15,584
Why is everyone conspiring
to make me paranoid?
110
00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:16,886
I'm not falling for it.
111
00:05:16,887 --> 00:05:19,053
I'm going to be happy
and devout my life
112
00:05:19,055 --> 00:05:23,550
- to actually helping people!
- Nooo!
113
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:26,294
Denial
makes your life a wreck.
114
00:05:26,296 --> 00:05:28,496
This thing is going
to blow any second!
115
00:05:30,834 --> 00:05:34,069
If you could grab hold of my
arm, I'll try and pull you out.
116
00:05:34,070 --> 00:05:35,470
Uh, excuse me?
117
00:05:35,472 --> 00:05:37,839
If I hold this up,
I can get you out
118
00:05:37,841 --> 00:05:39,608
through this hole here.
119
00:05:39,610 --> 00:05:42,944
Yeah, can you not mansplain
to me right now?
120
00:05:42,946 --> 00:05:45,780
I know how a rescue works.
121
00:05:45,782 --> 00:05:47,616
I just... I jus...
122
00:05:47,618 --> 00:05:49,383
I just... I just...
123
00:05:49,385 --> 00:05:52,018
Why don't you try to say
that again, only this time,
124
00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:54,288
pretend you consider me
your intellectual equal?
125
00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:56,022
Huh?
Just for fun, let's try that.
126
00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:59,025
Uh, sorry.
We should hurry.
127
00:05:59,027 --> 00:06:01,662
There's gas leaking, and
it could explode any second.
128
00:06:01,664 --> 00:06:06,133
Okay! Thank you for telling
me how fossil fuels work.
129
00:06:06,135 --> 00:06:07,934
I don't know what
I would've done.
130
00:06:07,936 --> 00:06:10,437
There's a lot of blood dripping.
131
00:06:10,439 --> 00:06:13,173
You mean my blood
as in my business.
132
00:06:13,175 --> 00:06:14,608
Maybe spend a little less time
133
00:06:14,610 --> 00:06:17,344
worrying about my natural
bodily functions
134
00:06:17,346 --> 00:06:20,113
and a little more time not worrying
135
00:06:20,115 --> 00:06:22,983
about my natural body functions!
136
00:06:22,985 --> 00:06:25,385
If this thing blows,
we'll be badly burned.
137
00:06:25,387 --> 00:06:28,155
How's this for a burn?
Why are you so dumb? Ha!
138
00:06:28,157 --> 00:06:30,891
Uh, it's because I just...
139
00:06:30,893 --> 00:06:34,727
It's because I think
you're pretty, all right?
140
00:06:34,729 --> 00:06:36,496
There it is. Typical.
141
00:06:36,498 --> 00:06:40,667
And I'm hoping if we survive this,
I can get your phone number.
142
00:06:40,669 --> 00:06:43,003
You do realize how
inappropriate this is, right?
143
00:06:43,005 --> 00:06:45,172
I know. I'm sick.
144
00:06:45,174 --> 00:06:47,040
Can you unpack that
for me a little bit?
145
00:06:47,042 --> 00:06:50,177
Well, I guess I'm haunted
by inferiority
146
00:06:50,179 --> 00:06:52,512
born of my jealousy over
the female body's capacity
147
00:06:52,514 --> 00:06:55,015
to carry life
into this world which is why
148
00:06:55,017 --> 00:06:58,284
I secretly put nails
in the road to cause a wreck
149
00:06:58,286 --> 00:07:02,621
so I can play out my twisted
savior complex and feel superior.
150
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,991
But that's why
I cut the brakes on my car,
151
00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,793
to catch jerks acting superior.
152
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:10,262
You did?
That's so funny.
153
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,564
Oh, my god. Weird.
154
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:14,433
No, like, we're actually
not so different.
155
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,568
We both wanted the same thing,
just from...
156
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,503
- Different angles.
- ...different angles.
157
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,706
This is no accident.
158
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:23,843
We're like partners in
some cryptic dance.
159
00:07:23,845 --> 00:07:25,845
Oh, god. What are we doing?
160
00:07:25,847 --> 00:07:31,268
- We're doing this.
- Oh, my god. Mm.
161
00:07:31,303 --> 00:07:32,851
Every second they didn't explode
162
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,720
made the couple savor life more.
163
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:38,422
- Mm.
- Then can the moment.
164
00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:43,061
It was the first time
Clive felt truly held.
165
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:48,066
I could live in this
moment forever and ever and ever.
166
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,935
- The way they spat love in the ass of death
- and ever and ever...
167
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:53,504
was an inspiration
to the world.
168
00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:56,307
Bliss ripped hope a new joy hole.
169
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,808
Atoms orgied.
170
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,011
The Sun and Moon got a room.
171
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,712
Daisies did the Dougie.
172
00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:05,383
Birds stopped having constant
racist thoughts against Asians.
173
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:08,753
Even Jews began to get along
with other Jews.
174
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,621
Everyone was happy.
175
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:15,426
It was a mental health
professional's worst nightmare.
176
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,762
Have you ever even peaked in there
177
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,231
- to see what she looks like?
- No need.
178
00:08:20,232 --> 00:08:22,600
All that matters is on the inside.
179
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:25,636
She could blow us both
to smithereens at any second.
180
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,137
You know what I think?
181
00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:30,240
You're afraid to look, because
what if nobody is in there?
182
00:08:30,242 --> 00:08:34,845
You're worried it's empty.
You are paranoid!
183
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:39,483
No way.
My girl wouldn't not exist.
184
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:42,086
She bees.
Tell him you bee, boo.
185
00:08:42,087 --> 00:08:44,121
Boo? Boo?
186
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:46,623
I'm sorry! I...
It's not my fault.
187
00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:48,491
My mom gave me
an eating disorder,
188
00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:52,397
so I committed celery-cide.
I un-ed myself.
189
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,131
The... the... the... th...
Then what's in here?
190
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,800
Nothing?
Are you just an empty portal?
191
00:08:56,802 --> 00:09:01,638
You zilchor! Boo.
Boo!
192
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,807
But isn't it beautiful?
193
00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:06,643
Don't you remember
how happy we were then?
194
00:09:06,645 --> 00:09:09,312
You tricked me into having
a fulfilling relationship
195
00:09:09,314 --> 00:09:11,514
with a manifestation of nostalgia
196
00:09:11,516 --> 00:09:14,951
for the relationship I got tricked into?
197
00:09:14,953 --> 00:09:16,653
You know I hate
when I get trapped
198
00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:18,521
in a self-collapsing emotional prison!
199
00:09:18,523 --> 00:09:22,425
I've told you that over
and over and over!
200
00:09:22,427 --> 00:09:24,461
But what are you going to do?!
201
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:27,363
I'm pulling myself out of there.
202
00:09:31,602 --> 00:09:36,538
I could live in this moment
forever and ever and ever...
203
00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:39,407
- Ah!
- ...and ever and ever...
204
00:09:39,409 --> 00:09:42,578
Clive stayed
in his trap for all eternity.
205
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:46,315
But once your worst fear
comes true, your paranoia
206
00:09:46,316 --> 00:09:50,051
can fly back home which
might give you the courage
207
00:09:50,053 --> 00:09:54,590
to emancipate your own heart
from its abusive cycle of love.
208
00:10:00,297 --> 00:10:04,431
I'm taking a little me time.
209
00:10:04,433 --> 00:10:06,401
And Dr. Bodgey was thrilled
210
00:10:06,402 --> 00:10:09,937
to have some sweet misery
to solve once again.
211
00:10:09,939 --> 00:10:15,576
Erasing your identity was
a tragic act of pure selflessness.
212
00:10:15,578 --> 00:10:18,045
Blame the mom.
213
00:10:18,047 --> 00:10:20,481
Noooo!
214
00:10:20,483 --> 00:10:22,717
And after
she murdered the devil,
215
00:10:22,719 --> 00:10:26,253
Lily felt empowered to share her
victory snack with the world.
216
00:10:26,255 --> 00:10:28,088
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
217
00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:30,925
Whoaaa!
218
00:10:30,927 --> 00:10:33,360
Once all existence was gone,
219
00:10:33,362 --> 00:10:36,362
no one could tell if her
nothingness was still there
220
00:10:36,364 --> 00:10:38,264
or if it never was.
221
00:10:38,266 --> 00:10:41,134
If she was there, then it wasn't,
222
00:10:41,136 --> 00:10:44,230
but if she was there,
then it wasn't.
223
00:10:44,422 --> 00:10:47,590
♪ There's blood in the kitchen ♪
224
00:10:47,592 --> 00:10:50,593
♪ There's blood in the hall ♪
225
00:10:50,595 --> 00:10:53,629
♪ There's blood in the parlor ♪
226
00:10:53,631 --> 00:10:56,766
♪ Where my lady did fall ♪
227
00:10:57,018 --> 00:11:00,053
♪ Long Lankin was hanged ♪
228
00:11:00,055 --> 00:11:03,326
♪ On a gibbet so high ♪
229
00:11:03,361 --> 00:11:06,492
♪ And the false nurse
was burned ♪
230
00:11:06,597 --> 00:11:10,241
♪ On a fire close by ♪
231
00:11:11,116 --> 00:11:14,134
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