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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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♪ La, la ♪
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♪ La, la ♪
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Then again,
after humans discovered
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00:00:08,057 --> 00:00:10,424
that prayer actually works...
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Pardon me, sir.
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Have you accepted the Lord
into your heart?
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Yeah, matter of fact, I have.
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Pray me a hoagie.
Make it snappy.
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I'm starving...
a number seven with pimento!
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All right. All right.
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Everyone cursed with belief in
their creator was finally useful.
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♪ La, la ♪
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Yeah, pray fly me home. Heh.
Come on.
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Citizens grew used to having
all they desired...
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a number eight with cheese...
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...number four, hold the bun.
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They began to yearn for the one
thing that had eluded them...
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spiritual faith, number 19
with a side of hot soup.
19
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The second someone got God,
they were prayer-jacked.
20
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Madness reigned.
21
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There was only one way
to make things right.
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Everyone agreed to drop all faith
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and forever believe nothing
on the count of three.
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One, two...
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00:01:27,135 --> 00:01:30,635
So Hank Alto
experienced a medical issue
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- each time he tried to pray.
- Ah! Ah!
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Hmm, those little fellas want out.
28
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Who's sick of him?
29
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You're sick of him, huh?
30
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At that moment, Hank realized
all he ever wanted in life
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was his hands back so he could
pray for his hands back...
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...because without prayer,
you have to work for your goals,
33
00:02:03,603 --> 00:02:06,470
and the hardest part
of improving yourself
34
00:02:06,505 --> 00:02:10,574
is deciding which purchase
will make you worthy of love.
35
00:02:15,581 --> 00:02:18,248
Ah, this is a nice model.
Shall I ring it up?
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00:02:18,284 --> 00:02:19,684
Let me get your wallet.
37
00:02:19,685 --> 00:02:22,519
Well, I'd like to try it first,
s... see how it looks.
38
00:02:22,555 --> 00:02:25,789
No, no, no, no, no.
That's considered tacky behavior.
39
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- Are you a tacky boy?
- But, um, how can I know if I like it?
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Because you trust me
implicitly, baby.
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Don't we got a good thing going?
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I'd like to speak with a manager.
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Hold on. Shut your dirty
mouth. I'm getting a text.
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Ah, I just made manager!
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Up top!
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Okay, then I... C...
can I talk to the owner?
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Hold on.
Shh, quiet, quiet, let me...
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Yo, I just bought this place!
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Up tip, yo!
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00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:56,019
I'm not purchasing this TV
until I see how it plays!
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Fine.
Golly.
52
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Help me!
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I can't see!
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Where am I?
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Did I die?
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See? It looks great, right?
57
00:03:11,036 --> 00:03:14,303
- Shall we ring you up, tacky boy?
- What's that noise?
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That's me yelling
about ringing you up.
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00:03:16,241 --> 00:03:18,807
No, the voice, it sounded like...
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00:03:20,845 --> 00:03:22,311
Look, I'm not supposed
to do this.
61
00:03:22,347 --> 00:03:23,647
I'm going to be honest with you.
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- Why do you want a TV?
- Just to watch stuff, to relax.
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I can't really be dead.
This is all in my head.
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Is it not relaxing? It's
the newest high-tech feature.
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You're trying to sell me a TV
with a spirit of a dead
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- little girl trapped inside it!
- Yes! That's the feature.
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- Do you not recognize her?
- Who is she?
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It's you,
the part of you that died
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- the day you learned the truth.
- What truth?
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Her name is Gretchen.
It's on all the latest models.
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00:03:54,511 --> 00:03:56,071
Pretty neat what they can
do these days.
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- Go on. Ask her for something.
- No.
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She died so you
could have luxury,
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00:04:01,351 --> 00:04:03,185
and you won't even
give her a chance?
75
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What do...
What do I ask?
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W... what does she do?
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Anything people want from a TV.
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00:04:07,457 --> 00:04:11,994
Okay. Gretchen, make me
feel better about my life.
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I'm stuck in here filled with fear.
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00:04:15,299 --> 00:04:17,933
Huh, that does make me
feel better.
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00:04:17,968 --> 00:04:20,368
- I'll take it.
- Great!
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00:04:20,404 --> 00:04:22,821
I'll just go ahead and sign
you up for the BGGBBR program
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- at 300 smacks a month.
- Wait, what's that?
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00:04:25,275 --> 00:04:27,676
Gretchen is designed to creep
with such precision,
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hidden messages pop.
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I died for you.
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It's all I do. I died.
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The Blind Girl Goose
Bumps Braille
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Reading System will decrypt them.
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00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,484
I died.
It's all I do.
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00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,187
She died for me.
This much is true.
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00:04:39,189 --> 00:04:42,657
So ring me up with the extended
service protection plan, too.
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00:04:42,693 --> 00:04:45,793
I was never a gadget guy,
but this is pretty neat.
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00:04:45,829 --> 00:04:47,495
I'm scared as hell.
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00:04:47,531 --> 00:04:49,997
Wh... What does that part say?
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00:04:51,367 --> 00:04:54,286
It wants that I'm to kill you
for what you've done
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00:04:54,287 --> 00:04:56,670
- to poor Gretchen!
- Wh... What did I do?
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00:04:56,706 --> 00:05:00,341
It says, "You know,
that you must pay in pain."
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00:05:00,376 --> 00:05:02,043
And how did you want
to pay for that?
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00:05:02,078 --> 00:05:04,612
No! Those bumps are a liar!
101
00:05:04,647 --> 00:05:07,348
When you push your fear away,
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00:05:07,383 --> 00:05:11,518
it will emerge from somewhere
else stronger, angrier,
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00:05:11,554 --> 00:05:13,420
strangle-y-er.
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00:05:15,859 --> 00:05:18,292
We got us a bubble pop.
105
00:05:18,327 --> 00:05:22,063
Hop. It got away.
And we're off.
106
00:05:24,801 --> 00:05:27,968
- How do we stop it?
- With the fear itself.
107
00:05:28,003 --> 00:05:30,036
Nothing to be afraid of.
108
00:05:30,072 --> 00:05:33,206
Tech rep will work out
the kinks for you.
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00:05:33,242 --> 00:05:36,109
After all fear
escaped his body,
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Hank's confidence broke out.
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I love myself as I am!
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Aaaaaaah!
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Aah! Aah! Aah!
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00:05:53,011 --> 00:05:57,164
- Yep, these are all Twin Towers.
- How did this happen?
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00:05:57,199 --> 00:05:58,932
You must have got
pretty arrogant lately.
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They call them cocky pox.
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00:06:00,868 --> 00:06:03,436
- Can you pop them?
- Oh, absolutely not.
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00:06:03,438 --> 00:06:05,505
They're fully functional
places of work.
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00:06:05,540 --> 00:06:08,908
Got a robust little economy
going, see?
120
00:06:08,943 --> 00:06:10,311
Oop, we got a jumper.
121
00:06:10,312 --> 00:06:12,378
Don't do it, you little cutie!
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00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,581
Best way to cheer them up
is jumper mint.
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He's scratching me!
Get rid of them!
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Hmm, well,
I can prescribe you something
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to take them down a peg.
126
00:06:37,404 --> 00:06:41,239
Hey, wow,
I feel like 100 bucks!
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After a health scare,
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00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,344
we are reminded what's important...
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00:06:45,379 --> 00:06:47,612
shopping.
130
00:06:51,352 --> 00:06:54,653
- Paper or plastic?
- Uh, paper, please.
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You scum.
You don't care about trees.
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You murder trees.
133
00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:02,894
No, no, sorry, yeah, no,
I'll go with plastic.
134
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:09,834
Add more plastic to
the landfill?
135
00:07:09,869 --> 00:07:12,336
Why don't you just strangle
a dolphin, too, sicko.
136
00:07:12,372 --> 00:07:18,322
My planet is gasping her
death because of you!
137
00:07:18,745 --> 00:07:24,645
Oh, right, I'll just hold
everything in my arm worms.
138
00:07:26,786 --> 00:07:29,186
And waste the energy
that you could have used
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00:07:29,221 --> 00:07:33,991
- to help poor people.
- Okay, I'll go do that.
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00:07:34,026 --> 00:07:36,594
♪ La, la ♪
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00:07:36,629 --> 00:07:39,062
♪ La, la ♪
142
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♪ La, la ♪
143
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Pfft. Really?
144
00:07:41,934 --> 00:07:45,668
Just soup, nothing solid?
145
00:07:45,704 --> 00:07:50,307
Pfft. Oh-ho-ho,
great, number sevens.
146
00:07:50,342 --> 00:07:53,110
Folks need
spiritual nourishment
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00:07:53,145 --> 00:07:55,078
to fill their souls...
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00:07:55,114 --> 00:07:58,315
...and a place to crash.
149
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♪ La, la ♪
150
00:08:00,585 --> 00:08:02,185
Oh, blessings,
that's all you got,
151
00:08:02,221 --> 00:08:06,924
no ascending to a glorious realm? Pfft.
152
00:08:17,869 --> 00:08:19,502
Pfft.
153
00:08:19,538 --> 00:08:23,440
How do I even know you really
transcended our material plane
154
00:08:23,475 --> 00:08:25,975
and merged harmoniously
with the cosmos?
155
00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:28,077
Pfft, pfft.
156
00:08:29,714 --> 00:08:31,648
Pfft. Tss.
157
00:08:33,351 --> 00:08:35,652
Pfft. Tss.
158
00:08:35,687 --> 00:08:38,822
The force of Ike's scratch
made Ike's face to turn red
159
00:08:38,857 --> 00:08:42,725
as his fidgeting finger
plunged deep in his head.
160
00:08:42,761 --> 00:08:46,295
When your giggling digit
grows a mind of its own,
161
00:08:46,331 --> 00:08:49,466
who knows who controls
the wriggles it gives.
162
00:08:49,501 --> 00:08:52,835
Ike's finger discovered
and Ike then was shown
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00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:56,772
the path of his brain
where righteousness lives.
164
00:08:56,807 --> 00:08:59,140
Oh, yeah, I'm so right.
165
00:08:59,176 --> 00:09:02,277
Oh, I'm so right!
166
00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:04,980
Once the spurt
of his rightness,
167
00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:06,547
it gushed and unfurled,
168
00:09:06,583 --> 00:09:09,316
he knew he must share
his gift with the world.
169
00:09:09,352 --> 00:09:11,018
How can I help you today,
brother?
170
00:09:11,053 --> 00:09:14,421
Oh, I'm so much better than you,
oh, me so better.
171
00:09:14,457 --> 00:09:15,724
Oh, me so better.
172
00:09:15,725 --> 00:09:18,626
- Oh, oh, brother! Oh, me so better!
- Why? Ooh!
173
00:09:18,661 --> 00:09:21,095
So though just a nub,
he continued to rub.
174
00:09:21,130 --> 00:09:23,598
He rubbed in the tub,
and he rubbed in the pub.
175
00:09:23,633 --> 00:09:26,066
He rubbed on the run,
all over the place.
176
00:09:26,102 --> 00:09:28,936
He rubbed just for fun
in everyone's face.
177
00:09:28,972 --> 00:09:31,772
For the treasure God bakes
and makes you a man,
178
00:09:31,808 --> 00:09:36,377
his pleasure, he takes
when he feels better than.
179
00:09:36,412 --> 00:09:38,912
The worst knee to the groin
of the heart
180
00:09:38,947 --> 00:09:41,715
the world has seen
was envious green as
181
00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:43,884
Ike flicked his brain's bean.
182
00:09:43,919 --> 00:09:47,654
This morality test made
them vow to do nice,
183
00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:51,357
so they plugged up his gush
and gave true sacrifice.
184
00:09:58,066 --> 00:10:01,234
Proud Ike could no longer
make folks seem inferior.
185
00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:02,802
They each plunged a pointer
186
00:10:02,838 --> 00:10:05,505
through their own head's interior.
187
00:10:05,541 --> 00:10:08,542
The same goo that had once made
folks feel so bad,
188
00:10:08,577 --> 00:10:12,145
that goo became good.
Oh, the gush that was had.
189
00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:15,548
This goo was the cure
for their spirits' diseases.
190
00:10:15,583 --> 00:10:18,884
He lifted all hearts,
out-gooded all geez-s.
191
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,121
Now in lieu of the doing
of doing good things,
192
00:10:22,157 --> 00:10:26,926
they'd feel just good feelings
of good the goo brings.
193
00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:30,196
The goo was pure goodness.
It had to be.
194
00:10:30,231 --> 00:10:34,067
They spread good like angels,
left good for free.
195
00:10:34,102 --> 00:10:35,834
We stepped out for such truth.
196
00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:39,272
What's this nub thing,
where, how?
197
00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:41,574
He is the proof that it's real.
198
00:10:41,609 --> 00:10:45,343
I'm rubbing mine now.
199
00:10:45,379 --> 00:10:48,146
♪ There's blood
in the kitchen ♪
200
00:10:48,182 --> 00:10:51,416
♪ There's blood in the hall ♪
201
00:10:51,452 --> 00:10:54,386
♪ There's blood in the parlor ♪
202
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:57,522
♪ Where my lady did fall ♪
203
00:10:57,558 --> 00:11:03,361
♪ Long Lankin was hanged
on a gibbet so high ♪
204
00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:09,347
♪ And the false nurse was burned
in a fire close by ♪
205
00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:15,647
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