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1
00:00:02,545 --> 00:00:05,923
I can't believe Metro news 1 is just
forwarding you all this fan mail now.
2
00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:07,550
I know. I quit, like,
four months ago.
3
00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,886
Wow, you had more
fans than I thought.
4
00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:13,181
And only about 60% of
them are prison inmates.
5
00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:17,602
What are these guys thinking? I am
way past my dating prisoners phase.
6
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:20,438
It's like, hello, I'm not
19 anymore, you know?
7
00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:23,357
Lottery girl's on.
8
00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:27,737
I just feel sorry for these women. This
is where broadcast careers go to die.
9
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:31,324
Check it out. I make it
fun. I invented a little game.
10
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:34,076
Tonight's lotto numbers are...
11
00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:37,747
Nineteen...
12
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:38,956
Age you moved to New York
13
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,120
after a photographer
"discovered" you at a food court
14
00:00:41,167 --> 00:00:42,919
and said he'd get you
in vogue magazine.
15
00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:44,086
Fifty-three...
16
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:45,772
Number of semi-nude
pictures he took of you
17
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:49,217
before you realized he had no
connection to vogue magazine.
18
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,551
Twenty-two...
19
00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:52,053
Age you claim you are.
20
00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:53,346
Thirty-one...
21
00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:54,972
Age you actually are.
22
00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:56,599
Forty-five.
23
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,911
Number of minutes it would
take me to get you into a cab,
24
00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:01,270
out of your dress,
and into my jacuzzi.
25
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,856
And the super big ball is...
26
00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:06,484
What happens after
we get out of the jacuzzi
27
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,944
what up?
28
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:26,671
Older Ted: Kids, by the winter of 2009,
Robin had been unemployed for months.
29
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,422
But there was a glimmer of hope.
30
00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:30,758
Hey, how'd the audition go?
31
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,302
Well, I went in there
feeling really good.
32
00:01:33,386 --> 00:01:35,930
I heard it was just me
up against two other girls.
33
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,515
Listening.
34
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,940
Hi.
35
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,817
Robin scherbatsky.
36
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:50,361
And you are?
37
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,490
You've obviously never
spent any time in Denver.
38
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,826
Rochelle Harper, news center 12.
39
00:01:56,909 --> 00:02:01,580
We were only the number one station
in the rockies for five straight years.
40
00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:04,375
I was an anchor here
in town at Metro news 1.
41
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:09,463
Ooh, an anchor. You must
have a killer signoff phrase.
42
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:10,548
I'm sorry?
43
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,633
You gotta have a
killer signoff phrase.
44
00:02:12,717 --> 00:02:17,221
Like Walter cronkite.
"And that's the way it is."
45
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,140
So what's yours?
46
00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:21,726
Well, I would just
always end with a simple
47
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:25,563
"from all of us here at Metro
news 1, have a good evening."
48
00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:33,571
Mine is "from all of us here
at Barney's apartment, get out."
49
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:38,743
You didn't let those reporter
bitches psych you out, did you?
50
00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:41,162
And the president's
economic team is
51
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,706
hoping to have a
proposal before congress
52
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,374
by the end of the month.
53
00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:49,086
From all of us here at news
10, have a good evening.
54
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:55,051
So, good night, New York.
55
00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:59,388
And may the road ahead be
lit with dreams and tomorrows.
56
00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:03,809
Which are lit with dreams, also.
57
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:09,648
Wow. That's terrible.
And bad, also.
58
00:03:10,775 --> 00:03:11,859
I wasn't done.
59
00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:17,907
Stand tall, New York.
Trustworthy. Recycling.
60
00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:21,452
Wear a condom.
61
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,663
Wear a condom?
62
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:28,042
I'm not gonna be the new
channel 10 anchor, am I?
63
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,127
Thisjust in. No.
64
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,215
Maybe the problem
is your resume.
65
00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:36,300
See how mine is lean and mean?
66
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:37,843
Yours is too cluttered.
67
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,513
Like everything on your
resume is so relevant.
68
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:44,517
"Program director, 88.1
wesleyan university radio?"
69
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,560
Oh, god. Dr. X?
70
00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,896
You're still
bragging about Dr. X?
71
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,399
Who was Dr. X? Nobody knows.
72
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:53,275
He was this genius mystery dj.
73
00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:54,652
It was Ted.
74
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,779
His identity remains
a secret to this day.
75
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,114
It was Ted.
76
00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:01,325
But this phantom of the airwaves
changed the very face of college radio.
77
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,494
It was Ted.
And your show sucked.
78
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:09,041
Ted: Dr. X here, shooting truth bullets
at you from an undisclosed location.
79
00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:12,211
Because if they knew where
I was, they'd shut me down.
80
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:16,465
You're on the third roor of the student
center next to the game room, you tool.
81
00:04:16,549 --> 00:04:18,592
I've been getting a lot
of letters about my segment
82
00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:21,387
on how racist the
school's meal plan is.
83
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:24,557
How are you getting letters if no
one knows where you are, douche?
84
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,476
That's why I'm organizing a
happening outside the dining hall,
85
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:28,769
Monday at midnight.
86
00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:31,272
It's high time the food
service puppet masters
87
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:34,233
took ignorance and
injustice off the menu.
88
00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,944
Boy: Hey, Ted, we
need a fourth for foosball.
89
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,029
What are you doing
in here, anyway?
90
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,991
Dude, get out of here!
I'll be there in a second.
91
00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:47,163
So, remember, dining hall, Monday,
midnight. Another Dr. X happening.
92
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:51,459
I'll be there, because x
marks the spot-ot-ot-ot.
93
00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:56,422
If you think people liked your
show, they did not-ot-ot-ot.
94
00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:59,049
This is weird. Look what got
mixed in with your fan mail.
95
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,134
What?
96
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,304
It's from the us.
Department of immigration.
97
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,765
It's postmarked two months ago.
98
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,731
Oh, boy. What is it?
99
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,441
It's about my work visa.
100
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:19,987
Unless I can find a job
in the next seven days,
101
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,740
they're gonna send
me back to Canada.
102
00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:32,017
I can't believe you might
be kicked out of the country.
103
00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:34,668
I know. My whole life is here.
104
00:05:34,752 --> 00:05:36,337
No. We won't let this happen.
105
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,981
I mean, one of us
will help you find a job.
106
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,341
Yeah, I bet I can get you
something at my school.
107
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:43,052
No, guys. Itdoesnt
work that way.
108
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:47,056
Robin only gets her work
visa if she gets a job in her field.
109
00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:51,185
I mean, you know what? I guess you
could stay if you married a us. Citizen.
110
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,562
Yeah, that could work.
111
00:05:53,646 --> 00:05:55,773
No, no. They could
never process that and
112
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,733
make it official in
time. That won't work.
113
00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,026
I'm screwed.
114
00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:01,946
I've been sending out my reel
for three months, and nothing.
115
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,669
Well, maybe there's
something in your reel
116
00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,032
that people
aren't responding to.
117
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,784
Let's take a look at it, right?
118
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,288
That's a good question, norm.
119
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:15,626
Okay, the first thing is from when I was a
cub reporter for channel 22 in red deer.
120
00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:19,463
In alberta. In Canada.
121
00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,215
All: Ooh.
122
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,883
Canada. Right.
123
00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:25,219
Well, the snow's
coming down pretty hard,
124
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:28,556
but these intrepid fishermen are
still happy to be out competing,
125
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:34,186
in lake athabasca's bass fishing
jamboree, an August 1st tradition.
126
00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:36,021
Back to you, norm.
127
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:42,903
What? That was my firstjob.
It shows where I came from.
128
00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:45,239
Unless a bear attacks you
in the next three seconds
129
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,116
and you snap its
neck with your legs,
130
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,867
that has no business
being on your reel.
131
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,787
No, no, I get it, I get it.
132
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:54,081
Where you're from is
part of who you're selling.
133
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,417
For instance, under
special skills on my resume,
134
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,377
I mention that
back in Minnesota,
135
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,921
I was the 1995 nicollet
county slam dunk champion.
136
00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:03,507
You put dunk champion
on your resume?
137
00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:04,842
Yeah, why wouldn't you?
138
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,177
A lot of companies
have basketball teams.
139
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,762
It's good for them to know
140
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:11,599
that vanilla thunder can
still take the rock to the hole.
141
00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,267
They called you vanilla thunder?
142
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,685
Yeah, vanilla thunder.
143
00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:18,188
The ghost in the post.
The human turnstile.
144
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:21,066
I didn't play that much d.
145
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,484
You can't still dunk.
146
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,194
Of course I can.
147
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,989
Well, I mean,
I could, until recently.
148
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,699
Until the injury.
149
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,243
It's called
iliopsoas tendonitis.
150
00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:33,120
Yikes. That sounds bad.
151
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,998
It's more commonly
known as dancer's hip.
152
00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,587
Dr. Goodman...
153
00:07:43,047 --> 00:07:47,301
Oh, come on! Iliopsoas
tendonitis. That's what it's called.
154
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,886
That's all it's called.
155
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:53,682
Iliopsoas tendonitis.
It's a basketball injury.
156
00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:54,975
You know, it's no big whoop.
157
00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:57,478
Dancer's hip, Marshall has
something called dancer's hip.
158
00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:58,812
Okay, no, no, okay.
159
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:03,609
They only call it that, look, because
it's very common with ballet dancers.
160
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:08,322
So, tell me, do any of
the other little girls
161
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,948
in your class have dancer's hip?
162
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:11,032
Yeah, sure.
163
00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:12,515
I have more of
atechmcalquesfion yes?
164
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:16,080
Is it easier to dance when you
don't have external genhaha?
165
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,791
Good, don't build to
that, just go right for it.
166
00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:22,127
Guys, come on. Marshall
didn't get this injury from dancing.
167
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:23,629
Thank you, Lily.
168
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,839
Clearly, the stirrups
were set a little
169
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:28,258
too wide during his
last trip to the gyno.
170
00:08:29,093 --> 00:08:33,430
Guys, guys, I hate to cut you off
before Marshall bursts into tears,
171
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:39,687
but, Robin, check this out. What you
need is an awesome video resume.
172
00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:44,108
Like mine. I present
173
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,486
barneysvideoresume.com.
174
00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:05,546
Oh! Hello.
175
00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:08,757
Ba me y: Barney
Stinson, you've achieved great success
176
00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:11,885
in business, athletics
and personal relationships
177
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,513
and have been an
inspiration to many people.
178
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:18,976
Is that you? Are you
interviewing yourself?
179
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,604
How can it be me?
That guy's British.
180
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:25,858
What would you recommend
to your numerous admirers
181
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:28,318
who want to reach
their highest potential?
182
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,779
And a wee bit Scottish.
183
00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:35,868
The first thing you need to know about
success is that it doesn't just come to you.
184
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:41,999
Most people associate success with money
and power, but really, it's a state of mind.
185
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,588
You had to be on a
motorcycle to say that?
186
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:52,176
And when it comes to success, the
only limit is that there are no limits.
187
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:55,763
Hey, I didn't know you knew how to
stand near a horse, that's impressive.
188
00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:56,847
Barney, I don't get it.
189
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,057
You don't do a damn
thing in any of these clips.
190
00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:01,894
Exactly. Because that's who
corporate america wants,
191
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:04,605
people who seem
like bold risk takers,
192
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,607
but never actually do anything.
193
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,443
Actually doing
things gets you fired.
194
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:12,613
In fact, I'm writing a book
on this very phenomenon.
195
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:13,840
Really, you're writing a book?
196
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:17,409
No, that would be doing...
Are you even listening?
197
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:23,248
All my life, I have dared
to go past what is possible.
198
00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:25,667
Ba me y: To the impossible?
199
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,920
Actually, past that,
200
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:34,134
to the place where the possible
and the impossible meet to become
201
00:10:34,218 --> 00:10:35,928
the possimpible.
202
00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:38,764
The possimpible? Really?
203
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:42,476
Inventing your own word
shows creativity and vision.
204
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,269
Visativity.
205
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:50,359
If I can leave you with
one thought, it's this,
206
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:55,113
nothing and everything
is possimpible.
207
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:58,450
Barney Stinson, Barney Stinson
208
00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:00,285
that guy's awesome
209
00:11:00,369 --> 00:11:04,331
is that you again? Are you
singing a song about yourself?
210
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:07,251
Absolutely not.
That would be lame.
211
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:12,673
Stinson, Barney
Stinson singing this song
212
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,383
that would be really lame
213
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:18,679
one of the many admirers
who think that guy's awesome
214
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:21,056
perfect and available
215
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:24,059
awesome, awesome, awesome
awesome, awesome, awesome
216
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,770
awesome! Awesome!
217
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,857
Awesome, awesome, awesome
awesome, awesome, awesome
218
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,567
awesome!
219
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,496
That baby got me 11 job offers.
220
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,331
Yeah. No. No way.
221
00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:49,042
Barney, that was
ridiculous and insane.
222
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,377
Insane-ulous.
223
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,463
Make me one. What?
224
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,507
Yes, now you're talking. What?
225
00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:58,260
I'm about to be
deported. I'll try anything.
226
00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,554
Okay, we better get
started. There's a lot to shoot,
227
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:03,283
and I don't think I can use any of
the footage I already have of you.
228
00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:06,143
What footage do you
already have of me?
229
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,270
Let's just get started.
230
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:14,985
Sweetie, are you still upset
about the dancer's hip jokes?
231
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:17,905
We were just kidding.
232
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,907
We all know it's
a basketball injury.
233
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,742
Yeah, no, totally.
234
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:27,039
Lily, I have something
I need to tell you.
235
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,999
What is it?
236
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,919
I dance more than you know.
237
00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:34,922
What?
238
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:38,300
Idance, more than you know.
239
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,013
I don't know how
to respond to that.
240
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:49,394
So, romn, what does
being a reporter mean to you?
241
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:51,980
Well, ever since I
was a little kid...
242
00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:53,523
Cut!
243
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,360
Robin, you're getting
bogged down in specifics.
244
00:12:56,443 --> 00:13:00,822
I need you to just say vague,
confident-sounding buzzwords,
245
00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:02,908
like synergy and dynamism.
246
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,619
You can make up a
word, like linkativity.
247
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:09,706
How will sounding like an
idiot get me hired anywhere?
248
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,833
Okay, fine. Don't do it.
249
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,186
Anyway, I'm sure
there are plenty of
250
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,170
exciting stories to
cover back in Canada.
251
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:18,465
I just read that the mayor of
winnipeg's nephew went ice fishing
252
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,717
and caught himself
a 16-pound walleye.
253
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:25,055
"Reporting live from the worst place
in the world, I'm Robin scherbatsky."
254
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,432
Okay, fine. Roll camera.
255
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,187
Connectitude.
256
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,480
Loveit
257
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:36,358
transformatation. Earn it!
258
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,693
Linkativity!
259
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,404
Yeah, iinkativity's mine.
260
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:46,660
So, how much dancing
are we talking about?
261
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:51,206
I don't...
I guess I'd say medium.
262
00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:55,502
Why are you dancing so much,
and why don't I know about it?
263
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,587
It's something I
do when I'm alone.
264
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:58,982
You know, like if
something good happens,
265
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,008
I get excited and I need
to move, and I just...
266
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,927
I don't know. I don't want to
even talk about this anymore.
267
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,848
So that's how you
injured your hip?
268
00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:10,809
Hey, did you hear?
269
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:13,687
They're giving us a half day
today. We can leave at 2:00.
270
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,648
Great! Thanks, herm.
271
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:28,660
Barney, these
costumes are ridiculous.
272
00:14:28,744 --> 00:14:32,414
Plus, the Amazon warrior
Princess armor gave me a rash.
273
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:35,584
Cards on the table, you weren't
the first lady to wear that in here.
274
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,502
But it conveyed power.
275
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:39,796
And so will this. What
I need you to do now
276
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,923
is break these 15
bricks with your forehead.
277
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,801
What? But you didn't do
a damn thing in your video.
278
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:48,055
You just stood near a horse
and sat on a motorcycle.
279
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:50,766
That's because I'm a man.
You're a woman.
280
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,851
The assumption is that
you can't do anything.
281
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,228
But you have to
prove society wrong.
282
00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:57,814
I can't break 15 bricks
with my forehead.
283
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:02,611
Robin, it's not 1950
anymore. Yes, you can.
284
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,572
I'm out of here. What? Why?
285
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,741
None of this is going
to help me get a job.
286
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,160
I'm about to get kicked
out of the country.
287
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:12,913
I know what I have to do.
288
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,710
Is this where the
lottery girl auditions are?
289
00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:20,545
Yeah, right here.
290
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,386
Older Ted: So, kids, your aunt
Robin had reached her low point.
291
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:31,139
She was auditioning
to be the lottery girl.
292
00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:33,183
And tonight's
lotto numbers are...
293
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,311
Hold it. Say the line
before you press the button.
294
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,747
It builds the suspense.
295
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:38,939
It builds the suspense.
296
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,190
Okay.
297
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,319
And tonight's
lotto numbers are...
298
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,407
Seventeen... stop her.
299
00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:50,617
Hold it.
300
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,452
Why did she say it like that?
301
00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:56,289
It's like she's not even
happy about the 17 coming up.
302
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:59,459
She seems mean.
Yeah, she seems super-mean.
303
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:03,130
Can you take another
run at 17 for us?
304
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:05,423
Seventeen.
305
00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:08,760
Okay, I don't even
understand what she's doing.
306
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,555
Let me try something. All right.
307
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:14,015
Try being a little more wry.
308
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,602
Wry? About the number 17?
309
00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:19,437
Wry, with a little bit of a...
310
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:20,564
Twinkle.
311
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,065
Twinkle.
312
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,276
Seventeen.
313
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,779
That was great!
314
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:30,299
Hey, marsh,
I got you a light beer.
315
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,493
I know how you dancers
are always counting calories.
316
00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:34,619
It's not funny, all right?
317
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:37,372
The doctor says if it gets any
worse, I might need surgery.
318
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,875
Vaginal rejuvenation surgery?
319
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,836
You know who didn't do a lot of
operating on vaginas in cohege?
320
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,171
Who? Dr. X.
321
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,506
He did just fine! You know what?
322
00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:51,011
Both of you geniuses need to take
that weak-ass crap off your resumes.
323
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:55,849
I mean, you are not Dr. X anymore,
and you cannot dunk anymore.
324
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:56,975
Let it go.
325
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,060
So Marshall and I are
the only people at this table
326
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:01,521
with weak-ass crap
on their resumes?
327
00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:03,565
What are you implying?
328
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:05,901
Oh. Oh, wow. I don't know!
329
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:10,071
Doesthe date July 4th,
1995 mean anything to you?
330
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,948
You son of a bitch.
331
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:22,417
Time! And the new champion, with
29 hot dogs, Lily "the belly" aldrin!
332
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:31,218
How is that relevant
to teaching kindergarten?
333
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:36,598
It teaches kids that I can eat
a lot of hot dogs very quickly.
334
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,433
Yeah, but you
can't do it anymore!
335
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,894
You can't dunk anymore,
lady-hips!
336
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,896
How dare you! These hips can...
337
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,564
Guys, guys!
338
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:48,902
I didn't even get
the lotto girl gig.
339
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,321
I have to move back to Canada.
340
00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,574
I can't believe this.
341
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:59,079
I remember the night
before I moved down here.
342
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:01,498
They threw a
going-away party for me.
343
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:05,794
They gave me a camera so I could
take pictures and send them home.
344
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,757
And everyone was so sure I
was gonna be such a big success.
345
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,053
I'm really gonna miss you guys.
346
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,766
What happened?
347
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,102
Robin has to move
back to Canada.
348
00:18:22,185 --> 00:18:24,104
Oh, my god. How awful.
349
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:27,774
I mean, for one thing, it's
gonna be a really long commute.
350
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,359
What do you mean?
351
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,361
I finished your video
resume on my own,
352
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,738
messenger-ed it to
every station in the city.
353
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:36,950
A guy from channel 8
called. He loved you.
354
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,660
He wanted you to
come in and audition.
355
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:39,786
Oh, my god!
356
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:40,954
I told him no.
357
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,164
Robin scherbatsky
doesn't audition.
358
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:45,083
He gives you the job or nothing.
359
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,459
So I got the job?
360
00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:49,045
No. He cursed me
out and hung up.
361
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,965
But then channel 12 called.
362
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,967
They also loved you.
363
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:57,846
They offered you a job hosting
their new morning talk show.
364
00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,139
Barney, that's amazing!
365
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:00,890
I told them to shove it. Dude!
366
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,768
Which only made
them want you more.
367
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:05,979
So, theyjacked up
their offer by 10%.
368
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,856
Congratulations,
miss scherbatsky.
369
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:10,442
It looks like you're gonna
have to stay.
370
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,825
You're not about
to dance, are you?
371
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,910
No, I'm good. I'll do it later.
372
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:26,166
Oh, my god. How
did you pull this off?
373
00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:28,126
I am the master
of the possimpible.
374
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:31,588
You really are. Thank you.
375
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,818
Older Ted: So, thanks
to your uncle Barney,
376
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,802
we got to keep your aunt Robin.
377
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,722
There's so much stuff in my life
378
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:43,475
no room for me to grow
379
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,372
older Ted: And
the rest of us decided
380
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,939
it was time to
let some things go.
381
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,572
Well, except for Lily.
382
00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:00,200
And time!
383
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:02,410
What's the count?
384
00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:04,537
Thirty-three!
385
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,125
Under the waterfall
386
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,046
under the waterfall
387
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,883
it's cool and cold and clear
388
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:40,198
Why is no one coming
to my happenings?
29943
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