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Older Ted: Kids, in the winter of 2009,
aunt Robin and I had just become roommates.
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00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:08,593
And to be honest, it
wasn't going very smoothly.
3
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,526
Ooh, that looks good.
I'm gonna get some.
4
00:00:10,595 --> 00:00:12,013
Mmm. There's no more milk.
5
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,416
No, I just saw
some in the fridge.
6
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:15,349
Empty. 80 throw it out.
7
00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,767
The trash can's full.
8
00:00:16,851 --> 00:00:18,519
So take the trash out.
9
00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:20,271
I'm eating cereal.
10
00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:24,400
You know, when I asked you
to be my roommate, I figured,
11
00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:26,694
"she's a girl, she'll be neat."
12
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:29,947
Butno, you're ogre from
revenge of the nerds.
13
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,867
You know what, Ted?
Instead of coming up with
14
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,536
hot-off-the-press
topical references like that,
15
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,288
maybe you should
spend a little time,
16
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,416
I don't know,
washing a dish ever.
17
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,710
Oh, darn, I can't.
18
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,545
I'm too busy leaving
a plate of cookies
19
00:00:44,629 --> 00:00:47,590
for the magical elf who
changes the toilet paper roll.
20
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,718
Wait,
there's no elf. It's always me!
21
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,595
I always change it.
You never do!
22
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,323
That is ridiculous! No, I
went in there yesterday...
23
00:00:54,347 --> 00:00:55,681
Ichangedit the last five times.
24
00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:59,060
Stop! Stop! What is going on?
25
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:02,021
When we were dating each other,
we were practically living together
26
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,814
and we didn't drive
each other this crazy.
27
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:06,150
I know. What happened?
28
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:10,071
You know what it is?
We were having sex.
29
00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:14,450
Men and women need sex to
live together. It solves all disputes.
30
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:16,994
Oh, like Barney's theory
about world peace?
31
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,872
So I explained to
her, I said, "Madeline,
32
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:26,087
"every single international conflict
essentially boils down to sexual tension."
33
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,714
Every international conflict?
Every single one, dude.
34
00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:31,884
So the crisis in the middle
east could be solved by...
35
00:01:31,968 --> 00:01:34,512
Gaza strippers. Next. Uh-huh.
36
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,888
Apartheid?
37
00:01:35,972 --> 00:01:37,932
Apart thighs. What else you got?
38
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,601
Cold war?
39
00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:44,063
"Mrs. Gorbachev,
take down those pants."
40
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,610
Well, guess we should
just start having sex, then.
41
00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:52,196
Yeah, right.
42
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,866
Wow. I know.
43
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:58,160
It's like riding a bike,
huh, buddy?
44
00:01:58,244 --> 00:01:59,662
Riding a bike
upside down, maybe.
45
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,916
Okay, listen. If this is
gonna happen on occasion,
46
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,377
we can't tell anyone
about this. Deal?
47
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,753
Deal. Deal.
48
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,397
Marshall, Marshall...
49
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,708
What the hell
are you guys doing?
50
00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:29,734
What, are you
guys back together?
51
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,445
No. We're just having sex
so we don't fight anymore.
52
00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,531
Oh, that's a great idea.
No, really.
53
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:36,824
Two thumbs up, guys.
54
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,868
Hey, I just looked
into the future and
55
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,662
that works out
really great for everyone.
56
00:02:41,746 --> 00:02:43,497
What are you even doing here?
57
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:48,127
I was on my way to work
and I just had to drop by here
58
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,087
to read this magazine.
59
00:02:50,755 --> 00:02:53,215
In that room over there.
60
00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:55,509
Oh, I get it.
61
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:56,969
No problem, buddy.
62
00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:58,346
Uh... yes, a problem, buddy.
63
00:02:58,429 --> 00:03:01,682
You came all the way over
here to read a magazine?
64
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:06,103
I'm willing to bet that there is a
place to read a magazine at work.
65
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,856
You know, a room with
a little man on the door?
66
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,233
Okay, Robin. Come on.
67
00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,694
Nobody likes to read
a magazine at work.
68
00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:17,198
I mean, you walk out of
your office holding a magazine
69
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:21,035
and that magazine is saying
one thing and one thing only.
70
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:24,372
Hey, everyone, look at
what Marshall's about to do!
71
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,957
Marshall's about to
read a big old magazine
72
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:29,543
in the bathroom that
you all share with him.
73
00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:33,881
Well, have you thought about
74
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,842
maybe not reading a magazine
when you read a magazine?
75
00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:38,594
You gotta read a magazine.
76
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,805
I mean, that's why
there's magazines.
77
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,741
Otherwise, it's just time
you're not getting back.
78
00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:45,726
Exactly. And the
worst part is this,
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00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:49,146
that stretch of hallway from
my door to that restroom
80
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:53,192
is a gauntlet ofjudging eyes.
81
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,111
Marshall: You got my boss...
82
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:58,155
We all know exactly
what you're about to do.
83
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:00,991
Marshall: Her boss...
84
00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:04,078
Man: Hey, Eriksen, why don't
you just move your desk in there?
85
00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,411
Marshall: I-can't-belie
ve-he-has-a-wife Donald.
86
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,625
Oh, sweetie, so obvious.
87
00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:14,964
Anyways, I just would
rather do that here.
88
00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:17,758
No, I'm sorry.
This is our apartment now.
89
00:04:17,842 --> 00:04:21,595
Marshall, you have to read
a magazine some place else.
90
00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:22,763
Give me your key.
91
00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:24,181
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
92
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,016
Marshall? I seem to recall
93
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:28,894
a deal being struck
between three parties
94
00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:33,441
wherein none would discuss
a certain event that transpired.
95
00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:34,525
An event of the...
96
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:36,777
Persuasion.
97
00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:40,030
That key, madam,
buys my silence.
98
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:41,615
Good day to you both.
99
00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,911
You two hooked up?
100
00:04:46,871 --> 00:04:48,581
Thanks a lot, Lily.
101
00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:56,172
So, wow. You two slept
together. That is awf... some.
102
00:04:56,797 --> 00:05:00,843
Awfsome. Nice
work, Ted. Tap that.
103
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,262
Itsounds like a
bigger deal than it is.
104
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:04,638
Yeah, we talked it over,
105
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:07,099
and we both realized we've
had a rough couple of months.
106
00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:08,225
We deserve a little fun.
107
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:12,062
No. This could wind up
ruining your friendship.
108
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:14,732
When two exes try
to just be casual,
109
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,151
someone always
winds up getting hurt.
110
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,714
Older Ted: Turned
out, Lily was right.
111
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,237
But more on that later.
112
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,573
Look, guys, we got
this covered, okay?
113
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,284
No one's gonna get hurt.
We set up ground rules.
114
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,913
Okay, rule number one, this is
strictly a physical relationship.
115
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,456
There are no
feelings involved, okay?
116
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:33,334
Oh, please, that's like
telling the fonz to be cool.
117
00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:36,504
And since it's just physical, we don't
have to worry about romance, right?
118
00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:38,964
Hell, no. Oh, we can
do it while we watch TV.
119
00:05:39,048 --> 00:05:41,258
Totally. We can
multi-task, you know?
120
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:43,969
Use the sex to spice up
otherwise dull activities.
121
00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:46,222
Like folding laundry.
Paying bills.
122
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:47,848
Cooking dinner.
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00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:50,309
That doesn't seem hygienic.
Yeah, not that one. No.
124
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:53,604
And now that we're hooking
up, we're not fighting anymore.
125
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,813
Problem solved.
126
00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:56,482
Actually, the credit
belongs to Barney.
127
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,859
This whole idea came out of
your thing about world peace.
128
00:05:58,943 --> 00:06:00,528
Yeah. Thanks, Barney.
129
00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:03,030
You were right.
Peace was achieved.
130
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,615
Repeatedly.
131
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,744
So I'm responsible for...
132
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,580
Excehent excehent excehent
133
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:16,460
uh... next round's on me!
134
00:06:20,965 --> 00:06:23,384
Hey, are you okay?
Yeah. Why do you ask?
135
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:27,054
Well, for one
thing, you're openly weeping.
136
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,514
With joy.
137
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,433
So happy for those two.
138
00:06:31,517 --> 00:06:33,727
Barney, admit it.
139
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:37,273
You still have feelings for
Robin and this is killing you.
140
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:39,483
What? I am totally fine.
141
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,820
Now, excuse me
for just a minute.
142
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,333
Totally fine.
143
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:59,795
Barney, you have to learn
how to express these feelings.
144
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,922
Maybe you should
talk to a psychiatrist.
145
00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:03,424
Please.
146
00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:06,927
If I'm gonna pay some woman
$200 an hour to make me feel better,
147
00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,762
we aren't going to be talking.
148
00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:12,683
And we're both going
to be on that couch.
149
00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:16,937
The woman in this
scenario is a prostitute.
150
00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:21,942
A dirty, skanky, surgically
enhanced, eastern European...
151
00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:23,444
I got it.
152
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:26,506
And there's something kind of liberating
about not taking it all too seriously.
153
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:30,576
Last night, we actually did it while I
was returning a bunch of phone calls.
154
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,370
I knew you didn't
get a rowing machine.
155
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,043
Awesome, we're still
talking about this!
156
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:42,421
Look, guys, this is a private
thing between me and Ted.
157
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,664
Private thing. Private thing.
158
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,383
We wouldn't even
be talking about this
159
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:49,219
if Marshall could read
a magazine at work.
160
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:52,973
He's always been this
way. Remember law school?
161
00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:54,099
Sure do.
162
00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:00,814
Baby? Baby, what is it?
163
00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:03,692
The credit card bill came today.
164
00:08:03,776 --> 00:08:08,947
You checked into a hotel two
blocks from the school on a Tuesday.
165
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,908
It's not what you think.
166
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,035
Who is she, Marshall?
What's her name?
167
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:17,623
Burrito. Carnitas burrito.
168
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:23,962
So, you checked into a hotel room
just so you could read a magazine there?
169
00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:25,326
Hey, Robin,
do you want me to see
170
00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:28,967
if the waitress has any giant sugar
cubes for that high horse of yours?
171
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,345
Nobody likes to read
a magazine at work,
172
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,681
and if they say that they
do, then they're not human.
173
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:36,892
Dude, I read a magazine
at work every day.
174
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:39,353
I can't tell you how many
meetings I've been late to
175
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,605
because I was busy
reading a magazine.
176
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,107
Butldont feel bad about it.
177
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,525
That's my time.
178
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:48,612
Sure, "reading a magazine"
ain't pretty, but, you know,
179
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:51,907
it's something I gotta do.
So why be ashamed about it?
180
00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:57,329
Wait, reading a magazine
means masturbating, right?
181
00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:02,835
I can't believe it. You
drank all my milk again.
182
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,629
We can have sex. Okay.
183
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,466
It's the perfect setup.
184
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,385
Anytime we start
getting into an argument,
185
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,011
we just have sex instead. Ha!
186
00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:16,390
One minute we're just laying into
each other, and then the next minute...
187
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:17,975
Well, same thing.
188
00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:19,852
Awesome.
189
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,733
So, this morning, she's
yelling at me through the door,
190
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,568
"you're taking too
long in the shower!"
191
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:30,446
Next thing I know, she hops in.
192
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,824
Now baby don't
mind I took my time.
193
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,577
So awesome.
194
00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:41,206
Sorry I'm late.
195
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:44,585
I was just jamming on scherbatsky.
She used up all my stamps,
196
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:48,088
so long story short,
the postman rang twice.
197
00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:49,882
You must bump this!
198
00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:55,179
That's just so...
199
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:58,348
Excuse me for a second.
200
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,029
So, you're saying plasmas
are better for low light,
201
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,031
but lcds are better for games?
202
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:18,744
Right, but the crts
have the truest blacks.
203
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,413
So, if I want a really
crisp contrast ratio...
204
00:10:21,497 --> 00:10:23,290
The crt's deep-pixel
cell structure
205
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:26,126
produces a resolution you
just can't match with an lcd.
206
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:27,211
Uh-huh.
207
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:28,879
I'll take the crt.
208
00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:34,927
Barney, this is nuts.
209
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,762
I'm doing just fine, thank you.
210
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:41,058
No, you're not. You need
to learn to let this stuff out.
211
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,310
Like we do in my
kindergarten class.
212
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,562
Feelings hour every
Tuesday morning.
213
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:47,481
Look, Lily, maybe
your kindergartners
214
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:51,735
are upset that their friends are
sleeping with each other, but not me.
215
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:52,986
I have never been better.
216
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,240
Older Ted: Meanwhile,
Marshall was still struggling at work.
217
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,492
Coming through.
218
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:02,371
Big breakfast this morning.
You know what that means.
219
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:06,083
Older Ted: But then came the
best news he'd heard in a long time.
220
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,461
And did you hear? They laid
off everybody on the eighth floor.
221
00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:12,130
I know. It's a ghost
town down there.
222
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,740
Morning. Morning.
223
00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:40,534
Hey, that was fun last night.
224
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,661
Word, that was a good one.
225
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:45,622
Mental note, don't throw
out the pizza box more often.
226
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,126
All right, see you later.
227
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:55,757
Uh-oh.
228
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,467
Uh-oh.
229
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:05,475
So last night, Robin left a
pizza box out on the floor,
230
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,269
so we had sex three times. Sure.
231
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:10,689
And then, this morning
before I left for work, we kissed.
232
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:14,026
That's weird. That is weird.
233
00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:17,404
Right? That kiss violated the
spirit of our whole arrangement.
234
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,948
I mean, she probably thinks
I'm getting feelings for her.
235
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,575
Well, are you?
236
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,160
Yes, I'm in love with her.
237
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:27,039
Is what you... that's you, dude.
238
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,083
No. It didn't mean anything.
239
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:33,170
It was just some leftover reflex
from when we were a couple.
240
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,255
But I think I probably blew it.
241
00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:39,843
Definitely. It is so over.
242
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,971
Hold the phone. Maybe Robin
didn't think it was weird.
243
00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:46,808
It was weird. Weird,
weird, weird, weird, weird.
244
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:49,603
W-i-e-r-d, weird.
245
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,063
That's not how you spell weird.
246
00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:52,898
Come on, Lily.
Nobody likes a Ted.
247
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,025
I tried to warn you.
248
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:58,445
When exes relapse,
someone always gets hurt.
249
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:01,281
But no one listened.
Story of my life.
250
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:04,326
My cuteness interferes with
people hearing my message.
251
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:05,744
Well, what should I do?
252
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,621
There's only one thing to do.
253
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:10,582
You have to stop
sleeping together, please.
254
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,460
I think we have to
stop sleeping together.
255
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:16,463
With me and Ted,
it's like cigarettes.
256
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:18,691
You have one when you're
drunk and you think it's fine.
257
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,343
But before you know it,
you're buying a carton a week.
258
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,178
I think I have to end it.
259
00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:25,472
Yup. I have to end it.
260
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:28,809
So, we're ending it, huh?
261
00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:31,311
I think so, yeah.
It's probably for the best.
262
00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:32,395
Mmm-hmm.
263
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,815
It was fun, but I don't
want things to get weird.
264
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:35,941
Me neither.
265
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:37,693
Roomies? Roomies.
266
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:42,531
Robin!
267
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:45,158
But we tell no one. Deal?
268
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:46,493
Deal. Deal.
269
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,453
Robin: Dude! Come on!
270
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,747
What is the matter with you?
271
00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:53,458
Thatone.
272
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,338
So, that didn't last long.
273
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,342
By the way, Marshall, what were
you doing back in our apartment?
274
00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:04,052
I thought you had
the perfect situation.
275
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,263
I did.
276
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,366
Marshall: Everything
was going great.
277
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:11,935
I was feeling more
comfortable, more confident.
278
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,354
I felt I could
take on the world.
279
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:19,067
Till one morning, I took my
magazine down to the eighth floor.
280
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,656
We gotta gut this whole place.
281
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:29,369
I need these walls
taken out here and here.
282
00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:31,371
You got it. All right.
283
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:37,627
Celebrities pick up their dry
cleaning? I pick up my dry cleaning.
284
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:40,464
Don't come in!
285
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,966
So that didn't last long.
286
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,055
Oh, thanks. What are you doing?
287
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:50,599
Oh, well, since all
these roomie squabbles
288
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,535
are still causing friction
between you and Robin,
289
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,769
I thought I'd help out.
290
00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:57,314
Oh, btw, iwent by the post office
today. I picked you up some stamps.
291
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,316
Here's 10,000.
That ought to do you.
292
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:04,196
Um, okay. Thanks, I
guess. Hey, you want a beer?
293
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:05,739
Okay.
294
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:06,865
Whoa!
295
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,135
Yeah, I picked those
up on the way over.
296
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,452
It was nothing.
297
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,039
Did you buy us a dishwasher?
298
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,291
No. That dishwasher's
always been there.
299
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,626
How long have you lived here?
300
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:27,886
So, you're doing all this to keep
me and Robin from fighfing, huh?
301
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,847
Exactly. I worry about you two.
302
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:36,603
It bothers you that Robin and
I are hooking up, doesn't it?
303
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:40,107
No. Not at all. That's crazy.
304
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:42,859
What?
305
00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:47,405
Are you in love with Robin?
306
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:57,624
You're in love with Robin. That's
why you don't want us hooking up.
307
00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:00,127
What? That is crazy talk.
308
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:05,048
Can't a bro clean another
bro's apartment like bros do?
309
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:08,426
Name me one bro in the history
of bros who has ever done that.
310
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:13,014
I'll name two.
311
00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:15,642
Misters clean and Belvedere.
312
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:20,313
Look, this thing with me
and Robin, it's totally casual.
313
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:23,650
I'm not gonna freak out if you tell me
you have feelings for her. So, do you?
314
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:27,487
No.no, idont. Ldont,
no. Idont. Ldont.No.
315
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:30,824
Robin is all yours,
dude. Have fun with her.
316
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:35,704
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm
gonna go sleep with other girls.
317
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,539
Are you sure? Yes!
318
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:40,417
Positive? Absolutely.
319
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:46,381
And then I stormed
out. Why did I do that?
320
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,552
I mean, maybe it goes
back to my father issues,
321
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:53,221
but I basically gave
my best friend license
322
00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:58,435
to have sex with the girl of my
dreams. I totally sabotaged myself.
323
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:02,606
And now I'm smoking.
Now I'm smoking.
324
00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:05,984
Get out.
325
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:10,197
But it's feelings hour and I'm
holding feely the share bear.
326
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,658
And whoever's holding feely the
share bear gets to sit in the share chair.
327
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:17,370
Barney, this is not your
private therapist's office.
328
00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:20,498
These kids have issues to
talk about, too, you know.
329
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:22,542
Ben's parents are
getting divorced.
330
00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:23,877
They are?
331
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,005
Who wants to do some coloring?
332
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:34,596
Oh, great. Did Lily send you?
I don't have the bear, okay?
333
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,598
I'm not giving it back!
334
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,351
Why are you smiling?
335
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:44,648
I just read a magazine.
Here at work.
336
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:46,524
What?
337
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:48,068
Yeah. It's the funniest thing.
338
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,445
I was online,
looking up rates for hotels
339
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,656
when I realized something.
340
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,032
This is stupid.
341
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:58,453
I decided it was time
to let go of my hang-ups
342
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:01,498
and do the thing I gotta do,
and once I made that decision,
343
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,582
everything changed.
344
00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:09,673
There's a young man who's
comfortable with who he is.
345
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:17,764
Donald: I know what you're
about to do, and I respect you for it.
346
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,559
Man: Hey, Eriksen.
Go the distance.
347
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:32,988
Marshall, you made
a brave step today.
348
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,115
Remember what Shakespeare wrote,
349
00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:38,994
"virtue is bold, and
goodness never fearful."
350
00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:41,913
You're right, super-hot-lady
351
00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:45,250
who-my-wife-keeps-telling-me
why-you're-famous-but-i-keep-forgetting.
352
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,584
Let's do this.
353
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:47,752
Lead the way.
354
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:55,093
Wow, Marshall. Congratulations.
355
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,470
Thanks. I was gonna have
to do it eventually, you know?
356
00:18:57,554 --> 00:19:01,808
Sometimes you just gotta
man up and just go for it.
357
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,979
Marshall, I have to go.
358
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:11,735
Oh, by the way, I have a bathroom
here if you ever want to use it.
359
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:15,905
Son of a...
360
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,992
Ted, I have to
tell you the truth.
361
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:21,661
I'm in love with tacos.
362
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:26,333
What are you doing?
I'm taking out the trizzash.
363
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:29,336
Ifyoute ioohngfor Ted, helefl.
364
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:34,924
And our little arrangement
is over, by the way.
365
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,594
Really? That's awes... full.
366
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,220
Awesful?
367
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,805
Yeah, it's just awesful.
368
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,517
What happened? He just insisted.
369
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:48,146
He said he couldn't do it anymore
because someone's gonna get hurt.
370
00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:50,398
I think we all know
who he meant by that.
371
00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:52,484
Do we?
372
00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:56,029
Isn't it obvious?
373
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,656
Ish? Yeah.
374
00:19:58,740 --> 00:19:59,824
It's Ted.
375
00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:01,743
Oh. You know what
a romantic he is.
376
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:04,204
He can't separate the
physical from the emotional.
377
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,039
He's all like... I love you.
378
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:09,667
Exactly.
He's not like you, you know?
379
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:11,878
Besides, we're friends.
380
00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:14,881
I don't want to screw
that up by getting involved.
381
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,759
Dating friends never works out.
382
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:21,388
So you want to get a taco?
383
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,140
A taco?
384
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:25,975
You love them, remember?
385
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,019
Right.
386
00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:29,979
Come on, I'm hungry.
387
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:34,359
Wake up, I'm trying to show you
388
00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:40,407
I wanna come clean
389
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:43,243
older Ted: So Robin and I
went back to just being roommates,
390
00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:45,328
and things went back to normal.
391
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:46,996
Your aunt Lily was right.
392
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:51,126
When two exes decide to just be
casual, someone always gets hurt.
393
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,588
It just wasn't one of us.
394
00:20:55,672 --> 00:21:00,093
The one that you
put on a pedestal
30160
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