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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:03,921 Hey, guys. Hey. 2 00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:05,685 It's freezing out there. Where's your coat? 3 00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:07,842 Ted, I'm Canadian. I don't need a coat. 4 00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:09,468 This kind of weather is nothing for me. 5 00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,888 Yeah. This is like a spring day back in Minnesota, 6 00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:15,516 if it weren't for all the taxis and the skyscrapers and non-white people. 7 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,119 There aren't any black people in Minnesota? 8 00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:19,187 Not if prince is on tour. 9 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,203 Well, my sister's plane got in an hour ago, 10 00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:36,996 or as a meteorologist might say, 11 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:39,373 "hurricane Heather has just made landfall." 12 00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:41,417 Come on. She's not that bad. 13 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,544 Here's the back of Heather's baseball card. 14 00:00:43,628 --> 00:00:46,148 It took her six years to graduate from three different colleges, 15 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:50,009 during which time she wrecked two cars, got married for five days, 16 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,510 and lived in a tree for nine weeks, 17 00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:54,154 only to realize that no one had any intention of cutting it down. 18 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,975 And now, Heather says she's moving to New York. 19 00:00:58,059 --> 00:00:59,435 Wow, that's big news. 20 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:00,913 She's never gonna go through with it. 21 00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:03,731 Remember a few years back when she talked about transferring to nyu? 22 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:06,192 And then, on the day of the admissions interview... 23 00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:10,154 Heather? Where's my couch and my TV? 24 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,659 I sold them for nine inch nails tickets. 25 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,245 The TV alone is worth two grand. 26 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,748 Well, a last-minute plane ticket is expensive. 27 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:22,833 Wait. Where are you? 28 00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:24,585 Somewhere in Spain. 29 00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:28,214 Oh! Gotta go. Slow song. 30 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:35,096 Oh, crap. It's Barney. 31 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,723 Forah the years Heather's been visiting New York, 32 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,475 Ted's never let Barney meet her. 33 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:40,810 And I never will. 34 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,562 Every year when the mosby family Christmas card shows up... 35 00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,441 Pulling down her pants 36 00:01:47,525 --> 00:01:49,819 yanking off my own 37 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:53,322 underneath the mistletoe I 'ii make your sister moan 38 00:01:53,406 --> 00:01:55,491 oh! Heather's hot, Heather's hot 39 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:57,201 we 7! Go all the way... 40 00:01:57,285 --> 00:02:01,622 I wish I could see her naked I wish I could see her naked 41 00:02:01,706 --> 00:02:03,791 I wish I could see her naked 42 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,918 and down on all fours 43 00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:10,631 Ted has a little sister gets hotter every day 44 00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:13,301 and if! Ever meet her with her boobies I will play 45 00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:16,178 everybody! Sister, sister, sister, I... 46 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,557 What? I can celebrate hanukkah, too. 47 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:23,644 It's him again. I should probably get it. 48 00:02:23,728 --> 00:02:24,937 Hey, Barney. 49 00:02:25,021 --> 00:02:26,206 Barne y: Hey. What's on tap for tonight? 50 00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:29,442 Oh, we're heading over to Marshall and lin's for a Kathy bates movie marathon, 51 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,861 but not misery. You want to join us? 52 00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:33,571 Oh! He hung up. 53 00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:37,408 Hey. Hey. 54 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:41,454 Hey. Hey. Great to see you. 55 00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:44,665 Hey, kiddo. You look great. How are things back home? 56 00:02:44,749 --> 00:02:46,792 Well, I moved into your old room. 57 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,085 Did you know that you can see 58 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,272 straight into Mrs. Gottwald's bedroom across the street? 59 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,965 Oh, yes. I am aware of that. 60 00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:54,091 How's she looking? 61 00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:55,468 Ted, she's 62. 62 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,053 Answer the question. 63 00:02:57,136 --> 00:02:58,512 Surprisingly perky. 64 00:02:58,596 --> 00:02:59,597 Mmm. 65 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,558 Heather: Man, it is cold out there. 66 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,602 Barn ey: Why, hello. 67 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:09,023 I've been waiting for you. 68 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,692 Wait a second. That's not our chair. 69 00:03:11,776 --> 00:03:14,111 Did you bring that chair yourself? 70 00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:16,364 I needed one that swivels. 71 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,576 Heather mosby. 72 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,704 Barney. Stinson. 73 00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:35,049 How did you even know Heather was coming into town? 74 00:03:35,341 --> 00:03:37,093 Never tell me anything. 75 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:39,720 You know I can't keep secrets around Christmas. 76 00:03:39,804 --> 00:03:42,056 Robin's giving you an iPod. 77 00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:46,727 Ted, can I chat with you for a sec in the kitchen? 78 00:03:46,811 --> 00:03:49,438 No one touch the chair. It's a rental. 79 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:53,234 I can't believe you've been hiding your sister from me all these years. 80 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:54,402 Do you blame me? 81 00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:55,861 You're like weird al yankovic 82 00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:59,698 if he only wrote Christmas songs about banging my sister. 83 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,910 Okay. First of all, I'm flattered. 84 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,871 Secondly, they're just jokes. 85 00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:08,124 A bro can joke about another bro's sister. 86 00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,518 It doesn't mean I'm ever gonna act on it. 87 00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:12,795 Look, I love my sister, and as her older brother, 88 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:15,631 it's my job to protect her from guys like you. 89 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:16,841 You don't trust me, do you? 90 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,051 No. And I don't trust her, either. 91 00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:20,511 Fine. Great. 92 00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:24,098 I guess I'll just take my chair and go. 93 00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:31,272 Wait. Stop. Come back. 94 00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:35,419 Lily and I are taking Heather out for dinner on Sunday. 95 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:36,610 Do you want to come? 96 00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:38,737 Iakeady called Hurley's and added a fourth. 97 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:40,173 You really can't tell Lily anything. Jeez. 98 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,449 No, you can't tell her a thing. 99 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:45,453 Older Ted: Thatyear, the holidays were really making aunt Robin miss Canada, 100 00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,998 so Marshall brought her to the spot he went whenever he got homesick for Minnesota. 101 00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:50,791 The walleye saloon. 102 00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:52,168 Evening, everybody. 103 00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:53,669 Marshall! Marshall! 104 00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:54,837 Meet Robin. 105 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:55,963 Robin! Robin! 106 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,214 Go back to drinking. 107 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,049 Drinking! Drinking! 108 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,719 What's up, Marshall? Hey, what's up... whoa, bud! 109 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,345 What's with the hitch in your giddyup? 110 00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:06,265 I was playing some hockey today. Tore up something in my knee. 111 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,409 Did you go to the hospital? 112 00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:10,269 Nah. I just poured some beer on it. Can't miss the vikes game. 113 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:13,230 Twin cities! Oh, yeah! 114 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,526 I love the guys here. They're real men. 115 00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:20,112 No hair products or manicures. 116 00:05:20,196 --> 00:05:22,490 All New York guys are like 10% girl. 117 00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,742 Well, come on. That seems a little unfair. 118 00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:28,204 Iwihave the vichyssoise with just a soupcon of creme fraiche. 119 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,789 Too much dairy and I tend to bloat. 120 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:35,127 So, I found an apartment today. 121 00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:36,462 Yeah. Really? 122 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,172 And I was hoping you'd have 123 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:41,884 a little more wine in you before I asked you this, but... 124 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,595 I need you to co-sign the lease. 125 00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:46,305 Hmm. 126 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,891 Let me think about it. 127 00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,310 That means he's not going to do it. 128 00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:54,230 I could really use your help on this. 129 00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:56,190 Let's talk about this later, okay? 130 00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:58,192 Don't hold your breath. 131 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:02,029 What is it? You don't trust me? 132 00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,531 You're my sister. 133 00:06:03,614 --> 00:06:05,741 Now he's just stating a fact. 134 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:10,412 Look, Ted, I am serious about a career in finance, 135 00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:13,332 but you just keep looking at me like I'm a 4-year-old 136 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,125 who says she wants to be an astronaut. 137 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,603 I just don't think you have any idea 138 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,462 how tough it is to make it in New York. 139 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:21,048 Exactly. You need connections. 140 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:24,468 If only Ted knew someone who worked at, say, 141 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:27,763 Goliath national bank, then... Wait. 142 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,139 What? 143 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,434 I work at Goliath national bank. 144 00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:33,852 How about that? 145 00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:36,981 All right. 146 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:40,526 We got two bemidji pale ales and, who ordered the mini-burgers? 147 00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,236 All right. Me. 148 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:44,613 Nice. 149 00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:48,075 Oh, my god. Is that fisherman's quest? Mmm-hmm. 150 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,952 I used to play fq all the time back home! 151 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,079 Oh, yeah? I kind of have high score. 152 00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:57,251 Not to brag, but I caught a 35-inch northern pike. 153 00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,713 The biggest video fish anyone's ever reeled in. 154 00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:02,506 I mean, freshwater. 155 00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:06,510 A tip of the angler's cap, my friend. 156 00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:09,346 Thank you for bringing me here. 157 00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:12,099 Those are mine. 158 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,227 This is not a good idea. 159 00:07:15,311 --> 00:07:17,938 Heather and Barney, alone in his office? 160 00:07:18,022 --> 00:07:20,166 And I certainly don't want to be on the hook for her lease. 161 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:23,235 She is growing up. You just can't seeityet 162 00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:27,323 we're talking about a girl who was busted for shoplifting eight months ago. 163 00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:31,035 Ted, a lot of women go through a shoplifting phase. 164 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:35,539 And sure, maybe to this day, they swipe the occasional smaller item 165 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:39,835 because it turns them on in a weird way that they can't quite explain. 166 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:44,506 But, if it'll make you feel better, I'll tag along to gnb tomorrow. 167 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,508 I'll say I'm having lunch with Marshall, 168 00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:49,553 but actually, I'll be spying on her and Barney. 169 00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:52,723 Okay. Okay, I'm good with that. 170 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:56,810 Heather! Heather, good luck tomorrow at gnb. 171 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,187 I'm sure you'll knock them dead. 172 00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,314 And I'll be spying on you guys. 173 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,649 Damn it! 174 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,614 "I'm drinking till I forget the 1999 nfc championship"? 175 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,324 That game. 176 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:13,077 The vikings were two minutes away from going to the super bowl, 177 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,372 when our kicker, who hadn't missed all year, shanked a field goal, 178 00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:18,707 and we lost in overtime. Damn! 179 00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:20,918 '99 nfc championship game? 180 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,336 Yeah. Damn! 181 00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:28,217 My dad, who I'd never seen cry my whole life, wiped away a tear. 182 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:32,137 He said, "a little part of me just died, son." 183 00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:37,351 Wow. I love how intense you guys are about your vikings. 184 00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,715 It's like when we watch hockey night in Canada, when we... 185 00:08:42,106 --> 00:08:43,232 What? 186 00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:47,903 Don't let anyone in here know that you're not from Minnesota. 187 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:50,186 Why? What are they gonna do if they find out I'm from... 188 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,041 Does this look like a Dallas bar to you, pal? 189 00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:56,662 It's weird, but there's something comforting about being carried like this. 190 00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:00,541 See you later, buddy! 191 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:01,625 Right? 192 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:04,503 Man, can you believe that guy? 193 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:07,131 So, romn, where are you from? 194 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:15,222 Bemidji. Bemidji, Minnesota. 195 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,473 Go vikes! 196 00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:17,808 All: Yeah! 197 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,038 Older Ted: Kids, for what happened next, I'm gonna jump ahead a couple days. 198 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,690 Wow! That is a pretty sweet briefcase. 199 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:25,899 Hmm. 200 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,318 That's a pretty sweet security camera, too. 201 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,863 Oh, and there's another one. And a guard. 202 00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,740 I'm planning on paying for it, Ted. 203 00:09:32,823 --> 00:09:35,659 Yeah. Well, you don't have the job yet. 204 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,494 That door's a push, not a pull. 205 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,580 There you go. 206 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,416 Hey, thanks again for keeping an eye on her yesterday. 207 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,751 Look, maybe I was wrong. 208 00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,562 She sounds like she handled Barney just fine. 209 00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,146 Maybe she'll be able to handle New York. 210 00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:48,922 No thanks necessary! 211 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,759 Why not? I have a secret. 212 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:55,012 No, I don't. Nothing happened. Something happened. 213 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,097 What happened? Nothing. 214 00:09:57,181 --> 00:10:00,684 After Heather's interview, I went to say hi to Marshall for a few minutes, 215 00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:03,145 and when I came back... 216 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:05,439 Oh, my god! 217 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:09,610 Lily, Lily, before you say or do anything, I beg you one favor. 218 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,029 What? Get off that. It's Prada. 219 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,491 I am so sorry. 220 00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:17,284 I knew it. I knew it all along. 221 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,952 She is still the same irresponsible 222 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:21,371 train wreck that she always was, and when I see Barney... 223 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:22,915 You won't say a word. 224 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:25,292 Ted, Heather begged me not to tell you. 225 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:28,420 She will hate my guts if she knows that I blabbed. 226 00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:34,176 Oh, I love that briefcase, but I can't afford it. You were right, Ted. 227 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,428 I certainly was. 228 00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:38,972 See? She didn't get the briefcase. 229 00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,641 That's responsible. 230 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:43,852 And there's almost no way she had sex with anyone in there. 231 00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,563 Turning over a new leaf. 232 00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:53,153 Evening, everybody! 233 00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:56,698 So my dad and I are at the '99 nfc championship game. 234 00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:59,159 I say evening, everybody. 235 00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:01,286 And when we missed that field goal andlost_ 236 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:02,830 Damn! 237 00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,331 Damn! Damn. 238 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:09,920 My dad, who I had never seen cry in my entire life, 239 00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,173 wiped away a tear and said, 240 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,260 "a little part of me just died, son." 241 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,053 Son? 242 00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:19,930 Oh! 243 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,599 I told it the way I'm gonna tell my son. 244 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:26,019 If I'm ever lucky enough to have a son, 245 00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:31,275 and name him Rashad tarkenton. 246 00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,362 Robin, great story. Great story! 247 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,866 But it does sound a little bit familiar. 248 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:41,577 I know. They totally ate it up. 249 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,704 I see what you're doing here. What? 250 00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:48,542 I brought you here as a favor because I felt sorry for you, okay? 251 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,086 And now it's like you're trying to steal my bar. 252 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:54,256 You think I'm trying to steal your bar? 253 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,382 Get out. 254 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,759 "Get oot"? What, are you Canadian? 255 00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,052 No, I... 256 00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,554 You want to impersonate a Canadian, 257 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,805 just turn off the lights 258 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,765 and get all scared! 259 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,729 What was that? 260 00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,647 Well, with Canada right across the border, 261 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:13,734 we minnesotans sometimes like to make jokes at your guys' expense, 262 00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,903 and they're all sort of along the same theme. 263 00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:17,696 That we're afraid of the dark? 264 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,281 Yeah. For example. 265 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:23,994 Hey, everyone, how many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb? 266 00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:27,414 "What? Oh, no, the light bulb's out? I'm scared!" 267 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,920 That is insane. Why do you think that Canadians are afraid of the dark? 268 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,922 Well, where does any prejudice come from, Robin? 269 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:37,966 A stereotype starts, then all of a sudden it spreads like wildfire. 270 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:40,427 Like asians can't drive, scotsmen are cheap, 271 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:43,013 Brazilians always put on way too much postage. 272 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,349 I just don't think this is gonna work out, Robin. 273 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:49,019 You can't be hanging out with people who belittle your beloved homeland, 274 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,562 so I'll walk you out. 275 00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:53,190 No, wait, I have something to say. 276 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,652 Hey, everybody. 277 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:59,446 Let me tell you something about people from Canada. 278 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,009 Hey, Robin, please don't make a scene. 279 00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:02,407 Shh! 280 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:05,953 Do you know why Canadians never get a birthday wish? 281 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:08,538 Because they're too afraid to blow out the candles. 282 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,710 Oh, god, I love it here. God. 283 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,173 I think your prospects at gnb are good. 284 00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:20,926 You've certainly made it clear you're willing to take any position. 285 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,469 Are these new coasters? 286 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,596 Well, I hope you get the job. 287 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,933 Nothing gives me more pleasure than filling an opening. 288 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,185 I swear to god these coasters are thicker. 289 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,479 Well, I am willing to bend over backwards. 290 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,939 Okay, that's it. 291 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,942 I cannot believe you had sex with my sister. 292 00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:39,653 You blabbed? Do you know what? 293 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:42,864 This is a new batch of the old coasters. 294 00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:44,825 I'm just gonna confirm that with the bartender. 295 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:47,285 And you, you're mature and responsible now? 296 00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:50,497 Is it mature and responsible to go to your first big job interview 297 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,000 in New York City and nail a total stranger? 298 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,811 You've always been immature and irresponsible. 299 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,004 You will always be immature and irresponsible. 300 00:13:57,087 --> 00:14:00,757 And iwouldn't co-sign a library card for you, let alone a lease. 301 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,175 Barney and I didn't have sex. 302 00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:03,510 Save it. Lily saw you. 303 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:04,928 Or did she? 304 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:09,016 Barne y: You see, Ted, you had so little faith in Heather and me... 305 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:12,019 Heather: We decided to give you exactly what you expected of us. 306 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,271 Barney: And I knew we could count on Lily to blab. 307 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,605 Oh, my god. 308 00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:17,566 What? Why would you do that? 309 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:18,942 Because you deserved it. 310 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:21,445 Ted, you know I'm no Saint. 311 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:25,907 And yes, it's true that time I drove your mother to the airport... 312 00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:29,202 Well, let's just say there was a very confusing, 313 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:32,706 sexuahy charged moment in short-term parking, 314 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:37,294 but I said I would never go near your sister, and I meant it. 315 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,670 You should have trusted me. 316 00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:42,299 You're so convinced I'm still some out-of-control teenager, 317 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:45,260 you missed the fact I grew up. 318 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:48,555 I'm gonna find a hotel. I'll get my things later. 319 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,724 Merry Christmas. 320 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,939 Your mom and I kissed. 321 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,628 Better get a move on. You've got five seconds to catch two more sturgeon. 322 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:05,405 Hey, we got a possible Gill screen. 323 00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:08,325 Forget it. You can't catch two fish with one hook. 324 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:15,248 No, but I can catch one fish and use that fish to catch the other one. 325 00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,420 High score! You beat Marshall! 326 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:26,134 She's Canadian! Robin's Canadian! 327 00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:28,970 She's Canadian. 328 00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:32,682 She's not from bemidji and she doesn't know a darn thing about the vikings. 329 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,435 You're just mad 'cause she got high score. 330 00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:39,648 Robin, in the '99 nfc championship game 331 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,608 when the vikings lost... damn! 332 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,068 Oh, damn! 333 00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:47,614 Who was the kicker who missed the field goal? 334 00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,706 Rashad tarkenton. 335 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:02,045 Gary Anderson. 336 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,338 He's now retired. 337 00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:06,591 Owns a fly-fishing business in Canada. 338 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,470 Goodbye, Robin. 339 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:22,274 No. You know what? 340 00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:28,155 I'm glad you found out because I'm proud to be Canadian. 341 00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:32,742 We may not have a fancy NFL team or prince, 342 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,328 but we invented trivial pursuit. 343 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,080 You're welcome, earth! 344 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:43,628 Plus in Canada, you can go to an all-nude strip club and order alcohol. 345 00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,715 That's right. From moose jaw to the bay of fundy, 346 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:49,217 you can suck down a 20-ounce pilsner 347 00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:53,263 while watching some coal miner's daughter strip down to her pelt. 348 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,598 Jealous? 349 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,852 In Canada, people don't care where you're from, 350 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:02,147 as long as you're friendly and maybe loan them a smoke 351 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,024 or hand over a donut. 352 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:08,069 I'm proud to be from the great white north. 353 00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,572 And I wish I was there right now. 354 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:15,619 And we're not afraid of the dark. 355 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:20,540 I mean, we don't love it, but who does? 356 00:17:31,927 --> 00:17:33,511 Ted: Merry Christmas. 357 00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:35,555 Ted... 358 00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:36,806 Look inside. 359 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,895 You just... if you push it towards the... 360 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,230 Not down, towards the middle. 361 00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,732 Don't need your help. Got it. 362 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:54,950 You signed the lease. 363 00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,826 Yeah. You know why? 364 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,289 Because you trust me and think it's a great idea? 365 00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:03,750 Because I want to get to know you. 366 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,794 The new you. 367 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,504 Thanks. 368 00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,510 By the way, in your new neighborhood, 369 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:17,097 you really should get a good solid deadbolt for the door. 370 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,016 If you want. To live. 371 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:26,523 Hey. 372 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,024 Hey. Hey. Hey. 373 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:35,115 I'm so sorry for what happened back there. I acted like a total jerk. 374 00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:36,658 I shouldn't have said anything. 375 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:39,828 No, look, I'm sorry. That was your place. 376 00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:42,372 I shouldn't have tried to make it mine. 377 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,875 It's just every year at the holidays, I get homesick. 378 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,461 And so far, every year I've had a reason to stay. 379 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:52,132 A boyfriend, a job, or something. 380 00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:56,052 But this year for the first time, I don't. 381 00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:58,471 Yes, you do. 382 00:18:58,555 --> 00:18:59,681 What? 383 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,892 We all love you, okay? 384 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,478 If you ever moved back to Canada, 385 00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,273 we would hop on a plane, we would track you down, 386 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:11,818 and after Barney dragged us to a few of those strip clubs you talked about... 387 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:17,115 We would bring you back right here where you're supposed to be. 388 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,119 It's not New York without Robin scherbatsky. 389 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,412 Thanks. Yeah. 390 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:27,000 I just miss it there sometimes. 391 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,835 I wish I could blink my eyes and be back 392 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,087 in Canada for an hour, you know? 393 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,258 I was hoping you would say that. 394 00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:40,847 Once there was this girl who 395 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:44,642 wouldn't go and change with the girls in the change room 396 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,478 how did you find this place? 397 00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:47,771 Feels like home, right? 398 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,647 There's one way to find out. 399 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,025 Oh! 400 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,252 Well, sorry there. Didn't see you. 401 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:54,319 Are you okay? 402 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,402 I'm fine. 403 00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:57,405 Okay, sorry about that. 404 00:19:58,323 --> 00:19:59,908 Have a donut on the house. 405 00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:01,576 Okay. Thanks 406 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,537 okay, you bumped into him, 407 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:07,499 and he apologized and gave you a donut on the house? 408 00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:09,709 Oh, it's just like home. 409 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:15,715 Sorry! It's gonna be fine! Sorry. 410 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,344 No one likes the dark. Mmm-hmm. 411 00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:30,146 Next up, from Ontario, Marshall Eriksen. 412 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,375 I didn't know you signed up. What are you gonna sing? 413 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:33,900 Oh, I think you'll recognize it. 414 00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:37,737 That's okay I'm going to rock your body anyway 415 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:39,906 I'm going to rock your body till Canada day 416 00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:41,133 buddy you can turn off the screen. 417 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,242 We know the lyrics. 418 00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,202 Everybody come and play 419 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:46,121 everybody come and play 420 00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:48,164 throw every last care away 421 00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,125 throw every last care away 422 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,627 let's go to the mail today 423 00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:55,088 let's go to the mail today 32143

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