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(soft music)
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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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(western music)
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- [Narrator] In the small town
of Independence, Missouri,
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00:00:22,650 --> 00:00:26,220
on a cool August morning full
of bird song and cholera,
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00:00:26,220 --> 00:00:29,280
sat the lonely Widow, Aveline Jenkins.
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She wasn't a widow by choice, mind you,
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because that would've been murder.
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No, Aveline Jenkins was cursed.
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Every boy Aveline ever
loved met with tragedy.
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00:00:40,230 --> 00:00:43,440
Little Jonesy who found a sinkhole,
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Glen, the ranch hand,
who befriended a snake,
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Simone Boulevard, who forgot to tip,
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00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:56,043
culminating in the death
of her husband, Henry.
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00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:00,873
But enough about that,
this is a comedy after all.
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00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:04,290
- On to the next one.
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00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:07,890
- [Narrator] To escape
yellow fever, typhoid,
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00:01:07,890 --> 00:01:09,300
but mostly just the humidity,
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00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:11,820
Aveline sent her children
off with her parents
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out west to Oregon.
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They say distance makes
the heart grow fonder,
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and nobody knew that better than Aveline.
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She, of course, had to stay behind
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because her spinster sister Cora,
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had developed an on and
off again relationship
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with dysentery.
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- [Aveline] She's real sick.
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- [Narrator] She maintained
her cheery demeanor
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in between tending to
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Cora's gravity-defying laundry fiascos.
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- Sorry.
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- [Narrator] But summer was almost over,
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and Aveline knew that gross
and deadly bowel disease
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or no gross and deadly bowel disease,
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00:01:43,590 --> 00:01:45,570
Cora, and she must leave soon
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to reach her family before winter.
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- [Cora] Aveline, I
somehow soiled the ceiling.
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I don't know how.
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(light music)
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It's up there in the northeast corner,
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and it's in the southeast corner,
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and I did get it up the chimney.
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(upbeat western music)
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(train whistle blowing)
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- [Narrator] Meanwhile,
Elijah Goodman disembarked
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00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,600
from the train in Independence, Missouri
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to collect his wagon and eight oxen
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to set out on his journey to the West.
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He wasn't particularly weak looking,
51
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but I wouldn't blame
anyone who said he was.
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- Ho there traveling boy.
53
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- Hello, sir.
54
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- You traveling somewhere, traveling boy?
55
00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:05,880
- Going west to teach
at the Oregon Institute
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In the Willamette Valley.
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- An educated traveling boy.
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- Name's Elijah, sir.
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- Elijah, you read the Bible?
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- Yes, sir.
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- You named after the
Bible or the criminal?
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- [Elijah] I suppose the Bible.
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- Prophet?
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- I believe so.
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- [Bearded Man] Don't you lie to me, boy.
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- No, I wouldn't.
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- See this rope?
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- I, I think I do.
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- This represents you.
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Without God.
- Without God?
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- Life pulls on your heart, and you go.
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You know these traveling boys,
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you know why they have to travel?
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- I'm not sure I do.
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- They got no foundation.
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They realize who they
are, and that's nothing.
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- Nothing. Okay.
78
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,570
- It takes a strong man to stay put.
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Gonna need a wagon. Think about that?
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00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,830
Traveling boy?
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00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,330
- Yes, I'm heading to the stockyard now
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00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:52,440
to collect my wagon and team.
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- Joe Delmar's stockyard?
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- That's the one.
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00:03:55,882 --> 00:03:56,715
- Hoo hoo hoo.
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00:03:56,715 --> 00:03:58,920
Joe Delmar, he's a slick one.
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He gonna get the better of any deal.
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00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:04,710
You be careful there, traveling boy.
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00:04:04,710 --> 00:04:05,543
- Pleasure to meet you, sir.
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00:04:05,543 --> 00:04:07,510
- These traveling boys, always traveling.
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00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,351
Always traveling.
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(tense music)
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00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,470
- [Narrator] Yes, Elijah
was a traveling boy,
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00:04:16,470 --> 00:04:19,740
living in a world of stay put men.
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00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:20,943
- Samson?
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00:04:22,491 --> 00:04:23,324
- Huh?
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00:04:23,324 --> 00:04:26,250
- I'm sorry I mistook you
for someone in the Bible.
98
00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:27,240
- Name's Elijah, Sir.
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I just need to collect my wagon.
100
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- And I just need to pay respect
101
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to those Clydesdale thighs of yours.
102
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,320
- I don't have time for small talk.
103
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:35,580
Could you please just get the oxen?
104
00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:38,460
- Why? You're as strong as an ox.
105
00:04:38,460 --> 00:04:40,110
Stronger, I'd say.
106
00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:41,580
- And you can stop with
the false flattery.
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00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:42,930
- Oh, it ain't false.
108
00:04:42,930 --> 00:04:45,213
You got more calves than a cattle drive.
109
00:04:46,350 --> 00:04:48,750
- That's enough. Sir, I believe
you're trying to rip me off.
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00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:50,460
- Well, I'm not trying to rip you off.
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00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:52,710
You're plenty ripped as it is.
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Check this out.
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(canvas whooshing)
114
00:04:55,278 --> 00:04:56,111
- Oh,
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00:04:57,587 --> 00:04:59,130
what is this?
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00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:01,770
- Let me answer your
question with a question.
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00:05:01,770 --> 00:05:04,650
Have you ever seen a depressed ox before?
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00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:06,000
- I don't think so.
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00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,450
- You see, the greatest
joy an animal or man
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can experience in this
life is to pull a wagon.
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00:05:14,010 --> 00:05:15,060
- What do you call it?
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- A handcar.
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00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:17,970
Do you know why we call it that?
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- You move it with your hands?
125
00:05:19,830 --> 00:05:22,617
- The only thing buffer than
your brawn is your brain.
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00:05:22,617 --> 00:05:23,880
(Elijah chuckling)
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You wanna give it a little test drive?
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00:05:26,370 --> 00:05:27,203
- Why not? Yeah.
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00:05:27,203 --> 00:05:28,390
- Go on, get
130
00:05:29,716 --> 00:05:31,083
- Look at this.
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- Those are the nicest set of
pushing hands I've ever seen.
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- I do admit I like to feel of the handle,
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and it's so light.
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I can't believe it's so light.
135
00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:45,030
- Yeah, it's a shame you
can't experience that joy
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for 3000 miles, unless,
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00:05:48,945 --> 00:05:50,910
no, I couldn't do that.
138
00:05:50,910 --> 00:05:51,810
- What?
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00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,930
- We were to do an exchange.
140
00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:57,030
- You want me to trade a
covered wagon and eight oxen
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00:05:57,030 --> 00:05:58,500
for a handcart?
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00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:01,410
- Have you ever fed eight oxen before?
143
00:06:01,410 --> 00:06:02,243
- [Elijah] No.
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00:06:02,243 --> 00:06:04,410
- Have you ever smelled eight oxen before?
145
00:06:04,410 --> 00:06:05,561
- No.
146
00:06:05,561 --> 00:06:07,110
- Then I'm saving you a misery son.
147
00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:09,690
This'll be the greatest
trade you ever made.
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00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:13,230
Plus, it'll reduce your carbon footprint.
149
00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:14,400
- I didn't even consider that.
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00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,600
- Few do.
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Few do.
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Now this thing is yours.
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Free and clear.
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- For free?
155
00:06:22,110 --> 00:06:25,230
- You are as shrewd as
you are strong, Elijah.
156
00:06:25,230 --> 00:06:27,150
- Oregon Trail, here I come.
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- [Joe] Bye, Elijah. (laughing)
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- What was that?
- Nothing.
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00:06:36,057 --> 00:06:37,380
- Appreciate it.
- Bye.
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00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:38,213
- We'll see ya.
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00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:42,843
- [Narrator] Meanwhile,
Aveline walked through town.
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00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,150
- It's the cursed widow Jenkins.
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00:06:45,150 --> 00:06:46,710
- Oh, it's too bad she's cursed.
164
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I was wondering where she got that bonnet.
165
00:06:48,253 --> 00:06:49,783
- Please don't fall in love with me.
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- It's so nice.
- It is nice.
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00:06:52,131 --> 00:06:55,048
(soft piano music)
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00:07:08,992 --> 00:07:09,825
(slugging)
- Oh.
169
00:07:09,825 --> 00:07:11,757
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
170
00:07:11,757 --> 00:07:12,590
- Excuse me, ma'am.
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00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:14,310
- No, it was my fault.
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00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:16,680
I'm so distracted thinking
about my late husband,
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00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,143
distant children, and
depressing existence.
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- If I had a nickel.
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00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:21,893
- [Narrator] He probably didn't.
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00:07:21,893 --> 00:07:23,100
Even then teachers weren't paid much.
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00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:25,080
- Very sorry to hear about
your late husband though.
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00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,640
- Oh, that was years ago.
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00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,070
I much prefer just mothering
my children anyway.
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00:07:29,070 --> 00:07:32,973
Only bother is I only had
two and I always wanted 12.
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00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:35,970
- 11 is too few and.
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00:07:35,970 --> 00:07:37,050
- And 13 is,
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00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:39,502
- The devil's number.
- The devil's number.
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00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:42,335
(mandolin music)
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00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:45,060
- Oh, the post has arrived.
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00:07:47,010 --> 00:07:48,360
- I'm Elijah Goodman, by the way.
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- Aveline Jenkins.
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00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,740
Oh good, I got a letter
from my daughter, Sarah.
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00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:54,840
I should pay for this pork.
190
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,000
8 cents for salted pork!
191
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,111
Prices have sure gotten
steep under new management.
192
00:08:00,111 --> 00:08:00,944
Oh my goodness.
193
00:08:00,944 --> 00:08:03,240
- I thought that was floating candles.
194
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,340
- Sorry to have frightened you.
195
00:08:05,340 --> 00:08:06,570
- [Aveline] Just startled us is all.
196
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,880
- We thought you were floating candles.
197
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,680
- I am quite stealthy.
198
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:14,310
Stealthy as diptheria, that's my motto.
199
00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:16,290
- That's a pretty offensive motto.
200
00:08:16,290 --> 00:08:20,070
- Couldn't help overhearing
the complaint about our prices.
201
00:08:20,070 --> 00:08:21,270
- Oh, I'm just used to paying less
202
00:08:21,270 --> 00:08:23,130
when Mr. Taylor ran the store.
203
00:08:23,130 --> 00:08:28,020
- Ah yes. My husband was
quite soft till he died.
204
00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:31,710
Rigor mortis finally
made him tough as nails.
205
00:08:31,710 --> 00:08:32,670
- Wow.
206
00:08:32,670 --> 00:08:35,190
- I don't think we've been
introduced, I'm Aveline.
207
00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:36,630
- Robert Gladstone.
208
00:08:36,630 --> 00:08:38,400
- Nice to meet you, Roberta.
209
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:42,360
- You misheard me, or were
poorly attempting to be polite.
210
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,785
My name is Robert.
211
00:08:43,785 --> 00:08:46,618
(dramatic music)
212
00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:52,440
My father was ashamed I
was a girl, understandably,
213
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,533
and gave me the most masculine
name he could think of.
214
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,580
While the name did make
school days difficult,
215
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:02,793
the endless taunting of
children made me strong.
216
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,250
Not strong enough to be admitted
217
00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:07,140
into the sheriff's department,
218
00:09:07,140 --> 00:09:11,160
or the militia, or my father's heart.
219
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:14,670
Still, it is why the
government left me this store,
220
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:19,080
seeing as they thought I
was a strong, superior male.
221
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,412
- Life just isn't fair, is it?
222
00:09:21,412 --> 00:09:22,620
- Of course life's not fair.
223
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:25,290
Why do you think it
has the word lie in it?
224
00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:28,230
Now you think on that a while.
225
00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:29,340
- I will, ma'am.
226
00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:31,170
- You call me by my Christian name.
227
00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:32,003
- Robert.
228
00:09:32,003 --> 00:09:34,833
- Robert Failure Gladstone.
229
00:09:35,790 --> 00:09:36,623
- Oh no.
230
00:09:36,623 --> 00:09:37,456
- What is it?
231
00:09:37,456 --> 00:09:38,289
- My eczema?
232
00:09:38,289 --> 00:09:39,930
- My daughter, she's getting married.
233
00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:40,800
- Oh, that's great.
234
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,210
- She's 15.
235
00:09:42,210 --> 00:09:44,220
- Historically, still great.
236
00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:48,300
- It says she's fallen in
love with a dreamy old outlaw,
237
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:51,120
who gave her a tattoo in
the back of his wagon,
238
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,573
and killed her friend for
staring too long at his hump.
239
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:57,660
- Is it a big hump or I'm sorry,
240
00:09:57,660 --> 00:09:59,370
I don't know how to make this better.
241
00:09:59,370 --> 00:10:01,290
- I have to go west, now.
242
00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:03,570
- [Caller] Last coach to go west.
243
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:06,600
That applies to anyone within earshot.
244
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,650
- This should cover it.
245
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:08,670
Take care, Robert.
246
00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:10,830
- I don't ask for care, I take oh,
247
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:12,693
oh, that is what you said, okay.
248
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,140
- Everything all right, boss?
249
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,643
- Half a cent short.
250
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:22,950
We've been conned, Willy.
251
00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,660
- You want me to go fetch it back?
252
00:10:24,660 --> 00:10:25,920
- No, no.
253
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,020
She'll use her delicate language
254
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:31,740
and elusive feminine ways to confuse you.
255
00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:35,626
We need to corner her like
a rat in a meat grinder.
256
00:10:35,626 --> 00:10:37,470
- A what in a what?
257
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,493
- Excuse me sir.
258
00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:42,300
I need to go west immediately.
259
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:45,030
- Put the closed sign up, Willy.
260
00:10:45,030 --> 00:10:46,713
We're going west.
261
00:10:47,917 --> 00:10:48,917
- All right.
262
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,303
That's your name tag.
263
00:10:52,530 --> 00:10:54,360
- I get 'em mixed up all the time.
264
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,430
- One says closed.
265
00:10:56,430 --> 00:10:58,890
- And the other says, open.
266
00:10:58,890 --> 00:11:00,351
- Willy.
- Willy.
267
00:11:00,351 --> 00:11:03,018
(bright music)
268
00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:07,590
- [Narrator] Aveline
was on her way out west
269
00:11:07,590 --> 00:11:11,160
with the famed Evander Lillian
Quist Handcart Company.
270
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:15,030
Accompanying her were Hank,
Mountain Man of the Plains,
271
00:11:15,030 --> 00:11:18,390
Terrence, a fine purveyor
of animal husbandry.
272
00:11:18,390 --> 00:11:21,900
the doctor, who invented malpractice,
273
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:24,360
Charlotte, who looked like Mother Goose,
274
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:25,410
and her son Joseph,
275
00:11:25,410 --> 00:11:27,900
who had come down with
a bad case of the polio,
276
00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:28,890
and Julian.
277
00:11:28,890 --> 00:11:31,050
Well, he was just kind of there.
278
00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:33,240
And many others who were less interesting,
279
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,063
all led by their fearless
leader, The Captain.
280
00:11:38,010 --> 00:11:39,890
- You stay away from me, widow Jenkins.
281
00:11:39,890 --> 00:11:42,570
We don't want your curse
getting all over this company.
282
00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:44,670
That's the last thing we need.
283
00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:47,250
- Don't you worry Hank,
widow Jenkins ain't cursed.
284
00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:48,083
- Cursed?
285
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:49,125
- Thank you, Terrence.
286
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,073
- Unless, if she falls in love with you,
287
00:11:50,073 --> 00:11:51,390
then you're as dead as a dead doornail.
288
00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:53,280
- Doornails aren't alive.
289
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,230
- What, you fall in love with them too?
290
00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:56,880
Don't you go falling for me.
291
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,880
These whiskers are a proven thirst trap.
292
00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:02,670
- Salutations travelers.
293
00:12:02,670 --> 00:12:05,250
Look at this ragtag group of ragamuffins
294
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:06,780
dressed in your best rags.
295
00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:08,280
- Why are you saying rags so much?
296
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,950
- I am Captain a Evander Lillian Quist,
297
00:12:10,950 --> 00:12:13,500
leader of this fine migratory company.
298
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,900
Oh, but I'm much more than just brains
299
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,240
and the heir to an ivory trading empire.
300
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:19,290
For you see,
301
00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:22,110
I have personally accompanied
Davy Crockett himself
302
00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:25,170
on some of his fiercest expeditions.
303
00:12:25,170 --> 00:12:28,020
I have no doubt that we
shall reach Oregon Territory
304
00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:30,603
before the first frost
slaughterers us all.
305
00:12:31,469 --> 00:12:33,969
(gun firing)
306
00:12:37,020 --> 00:12:40,829
I say Angus, this is an
expedition, not a foot race.
307
00:12:40,829 --> 00:12:41,777
- That's right.
308
00:12:41,777 --> 00:12:43,163
It's not a race.
309
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,670
It's life, brother.
310
00:12:44,670 --> 00:12:46,740
- Why does he have
band-aids on his nipples?
311
00:12:46,740 --> 00:12:47,850
- He's a runner.
312
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,321
Who knows why any of those
sickos do what they do?
313
00:12:50,321 --> 00:12:52,154
- That's why we do it.
314
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,163
- Everybody, to your wagons.
315
00:12:57,150 --> 00:12:59,880
All right Florence, my noble steed.
316
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,263
Let us ride like the wind.
317
00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:05,232
Yes, though a little high.
318
00:13:05,232 --> 00:13:06,065
All right.
319
00:13:06,065 --> 00:13:08,220
Yes, oh I'm falling, I'm falling.
320
00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,690
I've fallen.
321
00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:12,663
Yes. Please be just the mustard to cut.
322
00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:15,070
Yes. Thank you, sir.
323
00:13:15,070 --> 00:13:15,903
Tally ho.
324
00:13:17,459 --> 00:13:18,292
- Cora?
325
00:13:19,481 --> 00:13:20,314
Cora?
326
00:13:24,947 --> 00:13:28,950
Cora, what are you doing
here lying in the bush?
327
00:13:28,950 --> 00:13:30,090
- I tripped.
328
00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:31,410
- While holding flowers?
329
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:33,480
- I fell on them when I tripped.
330
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,440
- Sure.
331
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,600
- You should just go without me,
332
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:37,503
and I'll catch up,
333
00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:40,183
or not.
334
00:13:40,183 --> 00:13:42,090
(bells chiming)
335
00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:44,730
- Cora, they are heading out. Get up.
336
00:13:44,730 --> 00:13:48,210
- Do you know what six months
of dysentery does to a person?
337
00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:49,980
- Makes your cheekbones more defined?
338
00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:51,990
- You're just trying
to make me feel better.
339
00:13:51,990 --> 00:13:53,700
- You know what'll make you
feel better is a nice walk.
340
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:54,600
Come on, let's go.
341
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:58,069
- I can't walk. I got
fever blisters on my feet.
342
00:13:59,868 --> 00:14:01,950
- Oh, what in tarnation?
343
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:04,170
- It's fate now, just let it take me.
344
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:08,283
- Golfers, slamming it with
us poor folks just for kicks.
345
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:10,530
- Are you talking to me, Hank?
346
00:14:10,530 --> 00:14:13,410
- I was talking to the general company.
347
00:14:13,410 --> 00:14:15,213
Quit loving on me, you viper.
348
00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:18,720
- Come on.
349
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,637
- [Cora] Honey, don't wait on me,
350
00:14:20,637 --> 00:14:22,980
and don't lay it on thick.
351
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:25,350
- [Narrator] And so they were headed west,
352
00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:27,360
unaware of the murderous mountains,
353
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:31,056
deadly deserts and
Nebraska that lay ahead.
354
00:14:31,056 --> 00:14:32,490
- [Eerie Voice] Nebraska.
355
00:14:32,490 --> 00:14:34,230
- [Narrator] Unaware of the wicked woman
356
00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:37,200
that followed close
behind, but not too close.
357
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,030
Our heroes did get ahead start after all.
358
00:14:39,030 --> 00:14:40,380
- I'll not be swindled
359
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,470
by the smoothest snake in all Missouri.
360
00:14:43,470 --> 00:14:44,520
- A milk snake.
361
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,830
- I often speak in metaphors, Willy.
362
00:14:46,830 --> 00:14:49,110
A result of the many
books I socialized with
363
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:52,170
in the place of cruel,
unimaginative children.
364
00:14:52,170 --> 00:14:53,003
Try to keep up.
365
00:14:53,003 --> 00:14:55,470
- Well, this ain't your
first rodeo, I see.
366
00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:57,120
- Rodeos are for clowns.
367
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,590
- But what if you were the bull?
368
00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:01,890
- I prefer to be a bear,
superior fightin' skills.
369
00:15:01,890 --> 00:15:04,620
- Bear's numbers are dwindling
due to deforestation.
370
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:06,210
- I'd be a polar bear.
371
00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:07,260
No forest.
372
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:08,610
- No fooling you, I see.
373
00:15:08,610 --> 00:15:11,340
- My father, after shutting
himself in his room
374
00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:12,750
for six years to mourn
375
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:15,540
the discontinuation of his male line,
376
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:19,770
instructed me in all the male
arts of fighting, negotiating,
377
00:15:19,770 --> 00:15:22,800
and expecting others to
adjust to my comfort level.
378
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,900
Now why would I possibly want one of these
379
00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:27,090
in the place of two reliable horses?
380
00:15:27,090 --> 00:15:31,050
- Well, because this is
for the husky huskies,
381
00:15:31,050 --> 00:15:33,900
who have learned that they
can only depend on themselves.
382
00:15:35,550 --> 00:15:37,860
- I'm a husky husky.
383
00:15:37,860 --> 00:15:39,810
- Dragging one of these across the country
384
00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:42,172
would make any father proud.
385
00:15:42,172 --> 00:15:44,839
(solemn music)
386
00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,010
- [Narrator] And with that,
387
00:15:47,010 --> 00:15:50,550
Robert was on her way to get
her half cent from Aveline,
388
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:51,870
who had stopped to rest
389
00:15:51,870 --> 00:15:54,420
amid the hardships and boredom that is-
390
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:55,670
- [Eerie Voice] Nebraska.
391
00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:58,560
- There you go, nice and comfy.
392
00:15:58,560 --> 00:15:59,763
- It looks like rain.
393
00:16:00,798 --> 00:16:04,215
(acoustic guitar music)
394
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:14,100
- [Narrator] Just behind the
company were two jolly chaps,
395
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:17,040
Sirs Clarence and Chesterton.
396
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,940
- Oh, there it is. (laughing)
397
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:20,910
Well, I must admit Clarence,
398
00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:24,240
I was skeptical when you first
proposed a wild west holiday.
399
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,850
- Yes, I do recall
Chesterton, I do recall.
400
00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:29,310
- But this really has
been quite the adventure.
401
00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:32,170
- Quite the (foreign phrase)
if you will. (laughing)
402
00:16:32,170 --> 00:16:36,248
- Looking tough, a couple
of rough and tough cowboys.
403
00:16:36,248 --> 00:16:38,494
- Yes, this is very fun, very fun.
404
00:16:38,494 --> 00:16:40,440
- Well, let's do this, shall we?
405
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:41,968
- Yes we shall.
406
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,135
- Here we are.
407
00:16:44,197 --> 00:16:45,030
One, two.
408
00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:47,148
Fore!
409
00:16:48,136 --> 00:16:50,130
Oh, landed in the river.
410
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:50,963
- Dog gone it.
411
00:16:50,963 --> 00:16:52,230
- Well, let's not waste time.
412
00:16:52,230 --> 00:16:53,280
I'll just set another.
413
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,330
- Uh uh ah.
414
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:57,465
Where it lies, Chesterton, where it lies.
415
00:16:57,465 --> 00:16:58,378
- You're right.
- Yes.
416
00:16:58,378 --> 00:16:59,528
- You're right, onward.
417
00:17:01,050 --> 00:17:02,310
- [Narrator] September rolled around
418
00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:04,260
and the seasons were a-changing.
419
00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:07,140
And every leaf in the
wind reminded Aveline
420
00:17:07,140 --> 00:17:10,470
she had to keep moving if she
wanted to stop her daughter
421
00:17:10,470 --> 00:17:12,300
from becoming an outlaw's wife,
422
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:14,460
which is like being a mob boss's wife,
423
00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:16,413
but with a lot more tobacco juice.
424
00:17:17,366 --> 00:17:19,866
(soft music)
425
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:29,977
- That song just gets me.
426
00:17:29,977 --> 00:17:32,640
(romantic mandolin music)
427
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,254
You seem happy.
428
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:35,580
- Aveline, in case you've forgotten,
429
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,530
I am quite a pleasant
person when you take away
430
00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:38,700
the fever and the boils
431
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:40,710
and the hemorrhaging
bowels and the scales.
432
00:17:40,710 --> 00:17:41,910
- When did you get scales?
433
00:17:41,910 --> 00:17:44,793
- They're new, I got bit
by an armadillo last week.
434
00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:48,570
- Hi.
- Oh, hello again.
435
00:17:48,570 --> 00:17:50,250
- I didn't realize we'd
be in the same company.
436
00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:52,863
- I just couldn't wait to
see the Pacific Northwest.
437
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:59,253
Sorry, my heart palpation.
438
00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:01,920
- Ah. Hello, ma'am.
439
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,870
You must be Aveline's much younger sister.
440
00:18:03,870 --> 00:18:05,370
- You are correct, sir.
441
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:06,213
- Oh, I didn't.
442
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,043
You're actually.
443
00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:11,130
Your mother's in Oregon already.
444
00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:12,750
- I'm Cora.
445
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:13,650
- Elijah.
446
00:18:13,650 --> 00:18:14,820
- Mind the scales?
447
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:15,900
- Wow.
448
00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:17,250
Interesting texture.
449
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,410
- A whole hand cart all to yourself, huh?
450
00:18:20,247 --> 00:18:23,130
You must get lonely
out there on the trail.
451
00:18:23,130 --> 00:18:24,210
- It's for all my books.
452
00:18:24,210 --> 00:18:25,740
I'm a professor, you see?
453
00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:27,210
Set to teach at the Oregon Institute.
454
00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:28,350
- Oh.
455
00:18:28,350 --> 00:18:30,180
I'm not much of a reader myself.
456
00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:32,040
- I think anybody's a
reader with the right book.
457
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,020
- No, I'm illiterate and partially blind.
458
00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:36,000
And I lost all sensitivity
on my fingertips,
459
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,200
so braille is no good either.
460
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,220
- It's true.
461
00:18:38,220 --> 00:18:40,470
She was gripping that
chamber pot too hard.
462
00:18:40,470 --> 00:18:43,260
- Ah yes, that disproves my point then.
463
00:18:43,260 --> 00:18:45,163
- But you could try to teach me.
464
00:18:45,163 --> 00:18:45,996
- Okay.
465
00:18:45,996 --> 00:18:47,670
- You could be my miracle worker.
466
00:18:47,670 --> 00:18:49,050
- I'll think about it.
467
00:18:49,050 --> 00:18:51,840
- So is your wife in Oregon?
468
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,450
- Alas, I have no wife, no children.
469
00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:55,890
- I don't want no children neither.
470
00:18:55,890 --> 00:18:56,940
- That's not what I said.
471
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:59,520
- Cora, I haven't seen you this excitable
472
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,200
since before your condition.
473
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:05,613
- Well, nothing much exciting
was happening, till now.
474
00:19:07,985 --> 00:19:09,807
- [Voice In The Distance] Oh oh.
475
00:19:09,807 --> 00:19:11,175
- Oh, hold on, we're coming.
476
00:19:11,175 --> 00:19:12,444
- Oh, don't leave me.
477
00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,027
- Okay, I'm coming.
478
00:19:15,149 --> 00:19:15,982
- Just stay in the cart.
479
00:19:15,982 --> 00:19:16,815
- No, I got this.
480
00:19:16,815 --> 00:19:17,970
- [Narrator] Someone needed help,
481
00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:21,810
but could a traveling boy as
weak as Elijah provide it?
482
00:19:21,810 --> 00:19:24,480
- Help, I've been immobilized.
483
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:25,350
- Are you hurt?
484
00:19:25,350 --> 00:19:29,280
- Dangerously so, and not solely my pride.
485
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,113
Look.
486
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,090
- Your shoe is scuffed?
487
00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:34,080
- It is.
488
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,153
And here I thought I only
suffered the horrendous pain
489
00:19:37,153 --> 00:19:39,210
of stubbing my toe.
490
00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:40,770
- That's why you called us over here?
491
00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:42,000
- Exactly.
492
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,010
You understand.
493
00:19:44,010 --> 00:19:46,050
And if matters weren't terrible enough,
494
00:19:46,050 --> 00:19:49,920
I barely landed safely
on my security blanket.
495
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,050
- What's wrong with his mouth?
496
00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:53,723
- I know what you're thinking
497
00:19:53,723 --> 00:19:56,400
because I heard you say it out loud.
498
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,070
I recently had a bit of a kerfuffle
499
00:19:59,070 --> 00:20:02,040
with the burley gut alphabet soup.
500
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,890
Ironically, it was the
hour that burned me.
501
00:20:04,890 --> 00:20:05,940
- The hour?
502
00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:07,230
- Exactly.
503
00:20:07,230 --> 00:20:09,480
Now please do me a kindness and carry me.
504
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,150
- To where?
505
00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:14,163
- California, you understand.
506
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:18,240
- No, that's like a million miles away.
507
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,620
- What about you?
508
00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:21,750
You're clearly already with child.
509
00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:24,533
If you can carry one
person, what's one more?
510
00:20:24,533 --> 00:20:27,390
- You are an adult and I'm not pregnant.
511
00:20:27,390 --> 00:20:28,223
- Oh.
512
00:20:28,223 --> 00:20:31,800
I just thought, you understand.
513
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,210
- I don't.
514
00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:36,630
- Okay, maybe we could help you
find your travel companions?
515
00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,490
I assume you're not surviving
out here on your own.
516
00:20:38,490 --> 00:20:42,993
- You assume right. I never
leave home without Mr. Squishy.
517
00:20:44,635 --> 00:20:45,630
- I guess we'll get going then.
518
00:20:45,630 --> 00:20:47,400
- Wait, take me with you.
519
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,880
I need to prove to my parents
that I can do hard things.
520
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:51,780
- Can you though?
521
00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:52,710
- Aveline.
522
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,180
- What? We were all thinking it.
523
00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:55,560
- It's true.
524
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,750
I can't do hard things.
525
00:20:57,750 --> 00:20:59,223
Just leave me here to parish.
526
00:21:00,735 --> 00:21:01,685
- Okay.
527
00:21:01,685 --> 00:21:02,520
- Okay. Bye.
528
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,220
- I'm sorry, maybe it's
better that you don't go west.
529
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,830
You understand.
530
00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:08,663
- I do.
531
00:21:09,630 --> 00:21:12,540
I do understand. (crying)
532
00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:14,733
- [Narrator] We all understand.
533
00:21:18,690 --> 00:21:21,840
- I believe oxen are much more
depressed than I realized.
534
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,370
- They are pretty sad.
535
00:21:23,370 --> 00:21:24,456
Oh, Cora.
536
00:21:24,456 --> 00:21:27,930
- Ugh.
537
00:21:27,930 --> 00:21:29,253
Yes, sister dear.
538
00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:32,490
- Would you mind fetching me some water
539
00:21:32,490 --> 00:21:33,810
from the river down yonder?
540
00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:35,493
- Manual labor, since when,
541
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,627
have you ever needed to ask?
542
00:21:43,530 --> 00:21:44,363
Be back soon.
543
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:49,320
I don't know what you've done for Cora,
544
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,090
but whatever it is, keep it up.
545
00:21:51,090 --> 00:21:54,270
- For Cora? I don't
think I've done anything.
546
00:21:54,270 --> 00:21:56,460
- She hasn't walked more
than 10 feet on her own
547
00:21:56,460 --> 00:21:58,266
for over a year.
548
00:21:58,266 --> 00:22:00,933
(Cora gasping)
549
00:22:04,230 --> 00:22:05,793
It is a sight to behold.
550
00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:12,060
- Yes it is.
551
00:22:12,060 --> 00:22:14,400
- Actually Elijah,
could you do me a favor?
552
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,720
- Why, of course.
553
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,030
- Do you mind spending
more time with Cora?
554
00:22:18,030 --> 00:22:20,530
I do believe she gets
strength from your presence.
555
00:22:23,460 --> 00:22:24,960
- Far be it for me to
presume, but I don't.
556
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,310
- Please, Elijah.
557
00:22:26,310 --> 00:22:29,010
It's been so long since she
had something to live for.
558
00:22:31,470 --> 00:22:33,291
- It'd be my pleasure Miss Aveline.
559
00:22:33,291 --> 00:22:34,470
- Thank you.
560
00:22:34,470 --> 00:22:35,853
- Hold on, Miss Cora.
561
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:38,910
- [Narrator] And so Elijah,
562
00:22:38,910 --> 00:22:41,580
feeling the kind of
Christian duty one feels
563
00:22:41,580 --> 00:22:44,460
when caring for the elderly
or a leprous ferret,
564
00:22:44,460 --> 00:22:48,030
walked with Cora along the
river as the sun went down.
565
00:22:48,030 --> 00:22:49,440
- Mighty fun evening.
566
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,093
- Doesn't the sunset look lovely?
567
00:22:52,170 --> 00:22:53,003
- Elijah,
568
00:22:54,273 --> 00:22:57,720
did you just bring me out
here for the romantic sunset?
569
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,523
- Oh, I didn't mean to imply.
570
00:23:01,170 --> 00:23:02,940
Have you ever skipped rocks, Miss Cora?
571
00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:05,160
- I don't think I have
since I was a child.
572
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,710
- Here, I'll help you remember.
573
00:23:10,770 --> 00:23:12,783
That was a bad rock.
574
00:23:12,783 --> 00:23:13,616
- Oh, let me try.
575
00:23:13,616 --> 00:23:15,280
- Oh, you'll want a
smoother rock than that.
576
00:23:17,452 --> 00:23:20,869
(acoustic guitar music)
577
00:23:26,820 --> 00:23:28,893
Wow, I didn't know you had it in you.
578
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,580
If you wanna be consistent though.
579
00:23:32,580 --> 00:23:33,413
Should I, this.
580
00:23:35,818 --> 00:23:36,651
Yeah.
581
00:23:37,597 --> 00:23:38,430
- Oh, hey!
582
00:23:39,390 --> 00:23:40,530
What'd you do that for?
583
00:23:40,530 --> 00:23:41,520
- Sorry.
584
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:42,840
- You know what?
585
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,313
I don't care for you much.
586
00:23:46,650 --> 00:23:48,000
- That was weirdly hurtful.
587
00:23:56,178 --> 00:23:57,870
- I was about to get eaten by a shark,
588
00:23:57,870 --> 00:24:00,360
but then you threw a
rock at and killed it.
589
00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:01,260
Thank you.
590
00:24:01,260 --> 00:24:03,240
- Why, you're welcome.
591
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,100
Imagine that, shark's in a river.
592
00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:07,170
- Yeah, the Missouri's known
to have bull sharks in it.
593
00:24:07,170 --> 00:24:09,843
- Bulls aren't sharks,
Elijah, you're confused.
594
00:24:13,330 --> 00:24:14,550
- Okay.
- Ah!
595
00:24:14,550 --> 00:24:16,800
What on earth are you doing?
596
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,470
That's a piece of my dead meemaw's femur.
597
00:24:19,470 --> 00:24:21,300
- Oh, I didn't know.
598
00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:23,427
- What kind of a sick person are you?
599
00:24:23,427 --> 00:24:25,740
- You should really try to
bury her remains deeper.
600
00:24:25,740 --> 00:24:28,200
- I lost this hand to frostbite.
601
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,363
You wanna dig a grave with one hand?
602
00:24:32,190 --> 00:24:33,462
- I'm sorry.
603
00:24:33,462 --> 00:24:36,919
♪ I've been looking for your femur ♪
604
00:24:36,919 --> 00:24:39,319
♪ All the live long day ♪
605
00:24:39,319 --> 00:24:40,152
- It's just a femur.
606
00:24:40,152 --> 00:24:42,423
- Hey, did you kill my shark?
607
00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:44,790
- No.
608
00:24:44,790 --> 00:24:47,804
- Swim in peace my sweet
baby, swim in peace.
609
00:24:47,804 --> 00:24:48,990
- And swim in peace it did,
610
00:24:48,990 --> 00:24:51,780
while Aveline's stalwart
foe entered Nebraska
611
00:24:51,780 --> 00:24:54,303
crossing paths with,
ugh, not this guy again.
612
00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:00,960
- My dear, you look absolutely exhausted.
613
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,373
Might I offer you a pillow?
614
00:25:03,330 --> 00:25:06,420
Not this one of course, you understand.
615
00:25:06,420 --> 00:25:07,740
- I made a vow.
616
00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:11,460
I would not rest till I
found those thievin' sirens
617
00:25:11,460 --> 00:25:13,500
who stole my half cent.
618
00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:15,780
- A cent, cut in half?
619
00:25:15,780 --> 00:25:17,447
Sounds sharp.
620
00:25:17,447 --> 00:25:19,560
- I know it seems harsh,
621
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,590
but I am a person of utmost integrity.
622
00:25:22,590 --> 00:25:26,070
One of the reasons I
never pay myself, a woman,
623
00:25:26,070 --> 00:25:29,370
more wages than my shop boy Willy here.
624
00:25:29,370 --> 00:25:31,140
As my father once told me
625
00:25:31,140 --> 00:25:33,510
during the only conversation we had
626
00:25:33,510 --> 00:25:36,450
when he mistook me for
the train conductor,
627
00:25:36,450 --> 00:25:38,730
if women were meant to make more money,
628
00:25:38,730 --> 00:25:40,680
they'd have bigger hands.
629
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,050
- Well, your hands are pretty big.
630
00:25:43,050 --> 00:25:44,850
You know from far away,
631
00:25:44,850 --> 00:25:47,250
I thought you were either Paul Bunion,
632
00:25:47,250 --> 00:25:50,220
or a scary moose on its hind legs.
633
00:25:50,220 --> 00:25:51,483
You understand.
634
00:25:52,530 --> 00:25:55,080
- Why are you in an
exposed area by yourself?
635
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,810
- Well I had planned on going west,
636
00:25:57,810 --> 00:26:00,960
but two ladies said mean things to me.
637
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,473
So now I live here, and
spend my days coloring.
638
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,880
- Women belittled you?
639
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,980
- Said I didn't have
what it takes to go west.
640
00:26:15,526 --> 00:26:17,347
You understand.
641
00:26:17,347 --> 00:26:19,514
- I most certainly do not.
642
00:26:21,478 --> 00:26:23,116
- You
643
00:26:23,116 --> 00:26:25,350
don't understand?
644
00:26:25,350 --> 00:26:28,140
- I see before me a man.
645
00:26:28,140 --> 00:26:31,110
And that is the only qualification needed
646
00:26:31,110 --> 00:26:33,757
for success in any endeavor.
647
00:26:33,757 --> 00:26:36,424
(solemn music)
648
00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:41,509
Good luck, weak-handed man.
649
00:26:41,509 --> 00:26:42,809
We'll see you in the west.
650
00:26:49,771 --> 00:26:51,354
- Let's go, Buster.
651
00:26:54,116 --> 00:26:55,200
Whoa.
652
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:56,450
Too many bumps.
653
00:26:57,810 --> 00:26:59,550
- [Narrator] So began October,
654
00:26:59,550 --> 00:27:01,713
and with it, the weather worsened.
655
00:27:03,690 --> 00:27:05,883
- So much for beating the first frost.
656
00:27:06,780 --> 00:27:08,729
I'm sure it'll be fine.
657
00:27:08,729 --> 00:27:09,909
- [Narrator] Mm, doubtful.
658
00:27:09,909 --> 00:27:12,900
(Captain humming)
659
00:27:12,900 --> 00:27:13,833
- Tea time.
660
00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:20,430
- [Narrator] Day turned to
night and night turned to day,
661
00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:22,440
and Nebraska stayed Nebraska,
662
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:26,043
dumping a bunch of Nebraskan
snow on our weary travelers.
663
00:27:29,250 --> 00:27:30,450
- How'd you sleep?
664
00:27:30,450 --> 00:27:33,060
- Amazing. I died twice,
but came back three.
665
00:27:33,060 --> 00:27:34,290
- That's a personal record.
666
00:27:34,290 --> 00:27:36,450
- Who is the luckiest girl in the world?
667
00:27:36,450 --> 00:27:37,530
It's me.
668
00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:39,660
- How was your stroll with Elijah?
669
00:27:39,660 --> 00:27:41,490
- You know I don't stroll until.
670
00:27:41,490 --> 00:27:43,345
- Are you blushing?
671
00:27:43,345 --> 00:27:44,178
- No.
672
00:27:44,178 --> 00:27:46,200
- Sorry, it's hard to tell.
You're usually so pale.
673
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,033
- It's a rash.
674
00:27:47,033 --> 00:27:48,434
- You seem different.
675
00:27:48,434 --> 00:27:50,160
- I don't know, I feel alive again.
676
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,820
I'm filled with vigor and
bile, but mostly vigor.
677
00:27:53,820 --> 00:27:54,653
And I.
678
00:27:57,460 --> 00:27:59,960
(soft music)
679
00:28:07,842 --> 00:28:09,259
- What in blazes?
680
00:28:12,010 --> 00:28:14,523
- Where did he get such a garish hat?
681
00:28:16,740 --> 00:28:18,690
- Oh, the shoes, very impractical heel.
682
00:28:22,110 --> 00:28:23,310
- I think he wants you to ask
683
00:28:23,310 --> 00:28:25,080
where he got his shoes and hat.
684
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:26,152
- I will not.
685
00:28:26,152 --> 00:28:28,080
(Captain clearing his throat)
686
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:29,193
- Oh, oh dear.
687
00:28:34,787 --> 00:28:38,070
Notice anything different, Jenkinses?
688
00:28:38,070 --> 00:28:39,300
- Don't think so.
689
00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:42,420
- I finally look the part
of a true frontiersman, yes?
690
00:28:42,420 --> 00:28:43,320
Huh?
691
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,633
Oh, that felt less than optimal.
692
00:28:46,830 --> 00:28:47,663
Oh.
693
00:28:47,663 --> 00:28:49,530
Not a fan of red, hmm.
694
00:28:49,530 --> 00:28:51,990
Now the devil did say that
some would be intimidated
695
00:28:51,990 --> 00:28:54,004
by my striking appearance.
696
00:28:54,004 --> 00:28:54,837
- The who?
697
00:28:54,837 --> 00:28:55,670
- The devil.
698
00:28:55,670 --> 00:28:58,590
I sold my soul to him you
see, for these dashing duds.
699
00:28:58,590 --> 00:28:59,820
- No, you didn't.
700
00:28:59,820 --> 00:29:00,990
You wouldn't have done that.
701
00:29:00,990 --> 00:29:02,580
- I did, I did do that.
702
00:29:02,580 --> 00:29:03,930
- For those clothes?
703
00:29:03,930 --> 00:29:06,420
- It was either these or
some practical hiking boots,
704
00:29:06,420 --> 00:29:09,150
but I thought style
over function, you know?
705
00:29:09,150 --> 00:29:12,330
- Your soul Captain?
What does this even mean?
706
00:29:12,330 --> 00:29:13,980
- I think it just means that when I die,
707
00:29:13,980 --> 00:29:16,590
I go straight to Hades,
no matter what I do.
708
00:29:16,590 --> 00:29:18,090
Quite the adventure, eh?
709
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:19,290
- That's terrible.
710
00:29:19,290 --> 00:29:22,680
- Not if I don't die for
a considerably long time.
711
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,350
- We are on the Oregon Trail.
712
00:29:25,350 --> 00:29:28,230
It's not exactly known for
its high survival rate.
713
00:29:28,230 --> 00:29:30,523
- No, poppycock, that's just hearsay.
714
00:29:30,523 --> 00:29:33,523
(Captain screaming)
715
00:29:34,710 --> 00:29:36,570
Say what you will about the devil,
716
00:29:36,570 --> 00:29:37,870
he does make good leather.
717
00:29:39,270 --> 00:29:40,950
Shall we be off then?
718
00:29:40,950 --> 00:29:43,422
Westwood ho, my comrades.
719
00:29:43,422 --> 00:29:44,255
Oh.
720
00:29:44,255 --> 00:29:47,094
- These have very little arch support.
721
00:29:47,094 --> 00:29:49,110
(dramatic music)
722
00:29:49,110 --> 00:29:51,612
- I do not know about this, Chesterton.
723
00:29:51,612 --> 00:29:52,608
(snakes buzzing)
724
00:29:52,608 --> 00:29:55,740
(dramatic music)
725
00:29:55,740 --> 00:29:56,990
Let's try the three iron.
726
00:29:57,990 --> 00:30:00,033
Yes. (laughing)
727
00:30:00,033 --> 00:30:00,960
- There it lies.
728
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:02,610
- Fore!
729
00:30:02,610 --> 00:30:04,925
- Oh, it landed in the sand trap.
730
00:30:04,925 --> 00:30:07,110
(laughing)
731
00:30:07,110 --> 00:30:09,119
- Where it lies, Chesterton.
732
00:30:09,119 --> 00:30:11,220
- [Chesterton] (laughing) These rascals.
733
00:30:11,220 --> 00:30:12,053
- Get off.
734
00:30:14,310 --> 00:30:15,870
- [Narrator] Aveline plodded onward
735
00:30:15,870 --> 00:30:19,830
trekking through the snow and
thinking to herself, oh boy.
736
00:30:19,830 --> 00:30:21,439
Then she said it out loud.
737
00:30:21,439 --> 00:30:22,980
- Oh boy.
738
00:30:22,980 --> 00:30:25,410
I'm worried about our company.
739
00:30:25,410 --> 00:30:26,490
With this man is our guide,
740
00:30:26,490 --> 00:30:29,640
who knows what kind of traps
or perils we might wander into.
741
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,380
- What have you got against the Captain?
742
00:30:31,380 --> 00:30:32,850
I think he's a brilliant guide.
743
00:30:32,850 --> 00:30:34,920
- Yeah, just look at his head.
744
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,440
- I think you're just mad 'cause
he's more popular than you.
745
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,300
- Popular? What is
this, the seventh grade?
746
00:30:39,300 --> 00:30:41,730
- You know I never
finished the seventh grade.
747
00:30:41,730 --> 00:30:42,693
None of us have.
748
00:30:42,693 --> 00:30:43,800
- It's okay, Hank.
749
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,840
She didn't mean nothing by
it. You're doing just fine.
750
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,010
- What's going on, Terrence.
751
00:30:47,010 --> 00:30:48,210
- Widow Jenkins over here is trying
752
00:30:48,210 --> 00:30:49,830
to take control of our company.
753
00:30:49,830 --> 00:30:51,090
- And kill the Captain.
754
00:30:51,090 --> 00:30:52,543
- Oh my goodness, that is not true.
755
00:30:52,543 --> 00:30:54,240
- Yes it is.
- Yes it is.
756
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:55,440
- Why would I wanna kill the Captain?
757
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,400
- [Hank] Why would you not
want to kill the Captain?
758
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:58,233
- [Aveline] It sounds like you want-
759
00:30:58,233 --> 00:30:59,550
- Jolly good news, I say.
760
00:30:59,550 --> 00:31:01,140
We have a township up ahead,
761
00:31:01,140 --> 00:31:02,940
a place where we can gather supplies
762
00:31:02,940 --> 00:31:04,410
and maybe rest our feet,
763
00:31:04,410 --> 00:31:06,570
which I think might be bleeding.
764
00:31:06,570 --> 00:31:08,910
And the weather should
clear up by then, too.
765
00:31:08,910 --> 00:31:11,493
So, it's looking up for this company.
766
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:17,580
Ah snow, nature's cold water.
767
00:31:17,580 --> 00:31:19,050
Follow me everyone.
768
00:31:19,050 --> 00:31:21,843
Hi ho, come along Florence.
769
00:31:22,979 --> 00:31:24,000
Up we get.
770
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,400
- Well, I'm gonna stock up
on as many supplies as I can.
771
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:27,270
Who knows the next time
772
00:31:27,270 --> 00:31:29,100
we'll find a trading post at this rate?
773
00:31:29,100 --> 00:31:31,170
- Then I'll do the opposite
and go to the saloon.
774
00:31:31,170 --> 00:31:32,100
- Me too.
775
00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:33,660
I'm in desperate need of my medicine,
776
00:31:33,660 --> 00:31:36,600
but this option sounds less cursey.
777
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:37,950
- Fine, suit yourself.
778
00:31:37,950 --> 00:31:39,600
I'm not getting your
medicine for you, Joe.
779
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:40,433
You can't be mean to me
780
00:31:40,433 --> 00:31:42,240
and then expect me to get your medicine.
781
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,130
- You're mean to everyone and expect them
782
00:31:44,130 --> 00:31:45,226
to get your medicine.
783
00:31:45,226 --> 00:31:46,059
- [Aveline] I'm a nice person.
784
00:31:46,059 --> 00:31:48,210
- [Narrator] Nice is a
strong word, Aveline.
785
00:31:48,210 --> 00:31:50,790
The company had finally
made it to Wyoming.
786
00:31:50,790 --> 00:31:53,580
Wyoming? How many worse
states are there like this?
787
00:31:53,580 --> 00:31:55,710
- Yep, this feels much better
788
00:31:55,710 --> 00:31:57,647
than grabbing food and medicine.
789
00:31:57,647 --> 00:31:58,480
- Amen.
790
00:31:59,897 --> 00:32:01,281
- Get 'em up y'all.
791
00:32:01,281 --> 00:32:02,250
(gun firing)
792
00:32:02,250 --> 00:32:05,820
I'm Johnny River, and this
here's the Johnny River Gang.
793
00:32:05,820 --> 00:32:08,400
- Otherwise known as the Thievin' Three.
794
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,253
- Otherwise known as the Stealing Startup.
795
00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:13,230
- We're still working on the name.
796
00:32:13,230 --> 00:32:15,630
- I thought we settled
on the Johnny River Gang.
797
00:32:15,630 --> 00:32:16,770
It's my name.
798
00:32:16,770 --> 00:32:17,982
- Don't be offended.
799
00:32:17,982 --> 00:32:19,097
It's not your fault your name's so dumb.
800
00:32:19,097 --> 00:32:22,590
- It was my father's name,
and my grandmother's.
801
00:32:22,590 --> 00:32:24,600
- Her grandmother was named Johnny River?
802
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,253
- She was the Mulan of the West.
803
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,970
- Why don't we brainstorm
some other ideas?
804
00:32:29,970 --> 00:32:31,740
- Well, we wouldn't have this conversation
805
00:32:31,740 --> 00:32:34,770
if you just went with my first
idea, Johnny and Sombreros.
806
00:32:34,770 --> 00:32:36,960
- We don't wear sombreros.
807
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,190
- We should wear sombreros.
808
00:32:38,190 --> 00:32:39,933
- That's appropriation.
809
00:32:40,980 --> 00:32:43,440
Did we learn nothing
from the kimono incident?
810
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,210
- Okay, what if we just
combine the letters
811
00:32:45,210 --> 00:32:46,530
in all of our first names?
812
00:32:46,530 --> 00:32:48,450
- Lil Joka Tilly group.
813
00:32:48,450 --> 00:32:50,280
- It's still missing like 20 letters.
814
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,230
- What if we just do Madam Molly
815
00:32:52,230 --> 00:32:54,600
and her two semi attractive friends?
816
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,050
- You probably shouldn't
put friends in the name.
817
00:32:59,010 --> 00:33:02,190
- I agree. It's too inviting.
818
00:33:02,190 --> 00:33:04,743
Y'all ain't friends. You're outlaws.
819
00:33:10,740 --> 00:33:13,260
- Now what you need is a whole rebranding.
820
00:33:13,260 --> 00:33:16,080
- My favorite is still the Johnny River
821
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:20,310
Buckeye Billy Madam Molly
and their sassy new friend
822
00:33:20,310 --> 00:33:23,070
who just wants to feel more alive.
823
00:33:23,070 --> 00:33:25,080
- I think we're getting
off the rails here.
824
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:28,290
- I say we go back to simple, The Bandits.
825
00:33:28,290 --> 00:33:31,440
- Ain't that the name of a
ventriloquist barbershop quartet?
826
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:32,610
- Yeah, they're good.
827
00:33:32,610 --> 00:33:34,920
And you don't wanna dash
someone's hopes when they see you
828
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:36,570
instead of a quartet of puppets.
829
00:33:36,570 --> 00:33:38,760
- They should have their hopes dashed.
830
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:39,993
We're outlaws.
831
00:33:40,830 --> 00:33:42,000
- Puppets scare me.
832
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,780
- How about the Johnny
River Gang and Associates?
833
00:33:45,780 --> 00:33:47,103
- Cut the associates.
834
00:33:48,030 --> 00:33:49,307
- I think we got it.
835
00:33:51,539 --> 00:33:56,539
- All right! (yelling)
836
00:33:57,452 --> 00:33:58,710
- [Outlaw] Oh, sorry.
837
00:33:58,710 --> 00:34:00,360
My finger slipped on the trigger.
838
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,430
(soft music)
839
00:34:05,430 --> 00:34:07,470
- Okay, y'all well, Hank,
840
00:34:07,470 --> 00:34:08,940
I didn't realize you'd be joining us?
841
00:34:08,940 --> 00:34:11,340
- I will not be joining you, Aveline.
842
00:34:11,340 --> 00:34:13,950
I'm here for pork rinds,
not your Coquettish talk.
843
00:34:13,950 --> 00:34:15,440
- Oh, no I didn't.
844
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:16,830
- There's no use, Aveline.
845
00:34:16,830 --> 00:34:18,150
We would never work.
846
00:34:18,150 --> 00:34:20,403
You'd have better luck
beguiling this softie.
847
00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:22,770
- Thank you?
848
00:34:22,770 --> 00:34:24,660
- Well, regardless of
why you're here, Hank,
849
00:34:24,660 --> 00:34:26,010
we're all in need of supplies.
850
00:34:26,010 --> 00:34:28,290
So we'll have to make some savvy trades.
851
00:34:28,290 --> 00:34:29,880
- [Elijah] This is Kit Carson's store?
852
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,230
I've heard he's mighty intimidating.
853
00:34:31,230 --> 00:34:33,480
- I heard Kit Carson was
once bit by a grizzly,
854
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:36,060
and after two weeks of excruciating pain,
855
00:34:36,060 --> 00:34:37,290
the grizzly finally died.
856
00:34:37,290 --> 00:34:39,510
- I heard that ghosts
tell Kit Carson stories
857
00:34:39,510 --> 00:34:40,860
around their campfires.
858
00:34:40,860 --> 00:34:43,080
- There are no plains
named for Kit Carson,
859
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,150
because no one would
dare cross Kit Carson.
860
00:34:45,150 --> 00:34:46,980
- This isn't helping.
861
00:34:46,980 --> 00:34:49,740
We must stay united no
matter how shrewd or daunting
862
00:34:49,740 --> 00:34:51,093
negotiations may be.
863
00:34:52,057 --> 00:34:54,557
(soft music)
864
00:35:04,860 --> 00:35:06,210
- Oh, sorry.
865
00:35:06,210 --> 00:35:07,560
How much did that flower cost you?
866
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,120
- Five cups of sugar.
867
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,130
- It's a little steep, but
honestly not as bad as I thought.
868
00:35:11,130 --> 00:35:14,100
- Two oxen, the deed to my land,
869
00:35:14,100 --> 00:35:17,925
the jewelry of my deceased
mother, and my firstborn son.
870
00:35:17,925 --> 00:35:21,508
- It's okay Pa, you
did what you had to do.
871
00:35:22,833 --> 00:35:24,438
(Pa sobbing)
872
00:35:24,438 --> 00:35:25,855
No hard feelings.
873
00:35:26,802 --> 00:35:27,635
- It caught on the nail.
874
00:35:27,635 --> 00:35:28,718
All my flour.
875
00:35:29,940 --> 00:35:31,274
No, no.
876
00:35:31,274 --> 00:35:32,145
(thunder rumbling)
877
00:35:32,145 --> 00:35:33,977
Oh, it's starting to rain.
878
00:35:33,977 --> 00:35:35,545
Oh no.
879
00:35:35,545 --> 00:35:39,280
The birds, no, back your ringing devils.
880
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:40,307
Back I tell you.
881
00:35:40,307 --> 00:35:41,140
(thunder rumbling)
882
00:35:41,140 --> 00:35:43,130
Please have mercy.
883
00:35:43,130 --> 00:35:44,583
- Is she praying to birds?
884
00:35:46,301 --> 00:35:49,218
(thunder crashing)
885
00:35:51,057 --> 00:35:54,557
(dramatic western music)
886
00:36:08,340 --> 00:36:09,554
- Stay united.
887
00:36:09,554 --> 00:36:10,838
- Don't grab my hand.
888
00:36:10,838 --> 00:36:11,715
- I'm not.
889
00:36:11,715 --> 00:36:13,632
- Oh, this is my hands.
890
00:36:14,977 --> 00:36:16,477
I have soft hands.
891
00:36:17,578 --> 00:36:21,078
(dramatic western music)
892
00:36:32,979 --> 00:36:34,562
- Greetings, y'all.
893
00:36:36,030 --> 00:36:37,427
- Mr. Carson?
894
00:36:37,427 --> 00:36:39,390
- Please, call me Kitty.
895
00:36:39,390 --> 00:36:40,380
- You see here, Kit.
896
00:36:40,380 --> 00:36:41,280
- Kitty.
897
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,840
- Kitty, pardon.
898
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,120
We were hoping to trade for some supplies.
899
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,850
- My voice wasn't always
this way, you know?
900
00:36:47,850 --> 00:36:48,683
- [Aveline] Pardon?
901
00:36:48,683 --> 00:36:50,550
I was kicked by a buffalo.
902
00:36:50,550 --> 00:36:51,720
- That explains a lot.
903
00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:54,690
- Do you know where I was
kicked by the buffalo?
904
00:36:54,690 --> 00:36:55,980
- I have a good suspicion.
905
00:36:55,980 --> 00:36:57,130
- My throat.
906
00:36:57,130 --> 00:36:58,200
- I was wrong.
907
00:36:58,200 --> 00:36:59,940
- If you'll excuse us a moment, Kitty.
908
00:36:59,940 --> 00:37:03,840
- No, it's fine. I'll go
back to counting my beans.
909
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:08,190
One bean, two beans, three beans,
910
00:37:08,190 --> 00:37:10,320
four beans, five beans.
911
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,129
- He knows we don't have any beans
912
00:37:12,129 --> 00:37:14,003
and he's just rubbing it in our faces.
913
00:37:15,420 --> 00:37:17,190
- Nine beans.
914
00:37:17,190 --> 00:37:18,570
- Let's make this trade, y'all.
915
00:37:18,570 --> 00:37:20,643
He's been weakened. Let's do this.
916
00:37:22,260 --> 00:37:23,209
- Okay.
917
00:37:23,209 --> 00:37:25,470
- (screaming) You threw off my count.
918
00:37:25,470 --> 00:37:26,303
- Pardon?
919
00:37:27,180 --> 00:37:28,890
Let's talk flour.
920
00:37:28,890 --> 00:37:32,100
I couldn't help but notice
some weevils, right guys?
921
00:37:32,100 --> 00:37:33,030
- And that should tell you
922
00:37:33,030 --> 00:37:35,820
just how desperate we are for flour.
923
00:37:35,820 --> 00:37:36,840
Also pork rinds.
924
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,430
- Please, Mr. Kitty, we'll do anything.
925
00:37:38,430 --> 00:37:39,263
- Anything?
926
00:37:40,950 --> 00:37:44,233
Then I want you to murder the
buffalo who did this to me.
927
00:37:45,540 --> 00:37:46,530
- Really?
928
00:37:46,530 --> 00:37:47,363
- Yes.
929
00:37:47,363 --> 00:37:50,610
He roams the pass on the
edge of the Oregon territory.
930
00:37:50,610 --> 00:37:52,860
Mocking me with his buffalo mooing.
931
00:37:52,860 --> 00:37:54,990
He took away my voice,
932
00:37:54,990 --> 00:37:57,240
so I want you to end him.
933
00:37:57,240 --> 00:37:58,980
- Kitty, we don't even have a gun.
934
00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:01,230
- Good, death by bullet is too quick,
935
00:38:01,230 --> 00:38:04,290
he must suffer as I have suffered.
936
00:38:04,290 --> 00:38:06,210
It will not be easy.
937
00:38:06,210 --> 00:38:08,876
He has murdered thousands of travelers
938
00:38:08,876 --> 00:38:13,876
who have dared crossed
him on the beast pass.
939
00:38:16,516 --> 00:38:17,433
Oh, spooky.
940
00:38:18,850 --> 00:38:20,850
- Okay, how badly do
we want these supplies?
941
00:38:20,850 --> 00:38:22,110
- It's not a want, Elijah.
942
00:38:22,110 --> 00:38:23,970
I'm addicted to poor rinds.
943
00:38:23,970 --> 00:38:24,803
- Addicted?
944
00:38:24,803 --> 00:38:27,120
- Yeah, it's actually a huge problem.
945
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:28,410
I've lost everything.
946
00:38:28,410 --> 00:38:29,730
- Learn his weaknesses,
947
00:38:29,730 --> 00:38:33,840
study his chips and then do to him
948
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,240
as he did to me.
949
00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:37,410
- Kick him in the throat?
950
00:38:37,410 --> 00:38:39,750
- No, but I love that idea.
951
00:38:39,750 --> 00:38:40,770
- That's impossible.
952
00:38:40,770 --> 00:38:41,603
- Do it.
953
00:38:41,603 --> 00:38:45,120
Pledge your lives to making
him the first soprano buffalo,
954
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:49,023
and I will fully stock your supplies.
955
00:38:50,249 --> 00:38:51,479
- Is that bacon?
956
00:38:51,479 --> 00:38:53,580
- Oh, it's bacon, baby.
957
00:38:53,580 --> 00:38:55,470
- How many bacon do you have?
958
00:38:55,470 --> 00:38:59,490
- One bacon, two bacon,
959
00:38:59,490 --> 00:39:00,723
three bacon.
960
00:39:03,750 --> 00:39:05,280
- We just told him we'd kill a buffalo
961
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:06,720
that's like a thousand miles away.
962
00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:09,090
But we don't actually
have to do that, do we?
963
00:39:09,090 --> 00:39:11,790
- It's not the first time
I've lied for pork rinds.
964
00:39:11,790 --> 00:39:13,040
Won't be the last either.
965
00:39:14,490 --> 00:39:15,647
What?
966
00:39:15,647 --> 00:39:17,640
- He did mention murdering
us and our families
967
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:18,990
if we didn't keep our promise.
968
00:39:18,990 --> 00:39:21,330
- Well, good thing I
got no family to murder
969
00:39:21,330 --> 00:39:22,920
on account of my pork rind addiction.
970
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,570
- Okay, you have to stop.
971
00:39:24,570 --> 00:39:27,600
- I will not tolerate your
desire for physical touch.
972
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,790
- [Narrator] So with their
bellies full of bacon
973
00:39:29,790 --> 00:39:31,950
and they're souls full of deceit,
974
00:39:31,950 --> 00:39:36,840
the company forged ahead, while
Robert forged ahead, also,
975
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:41,010
in addition to, as well,
Robert as well, forged.
976
00:39:41,010 --> 00:39:41,843
She was forging.
977
00:39:41,843 --> 00:39:42,900
- Afternoon.
978
00:39:42,900 --> 00:39:43,743
- Yes it is.
979
00:39:44,623 --> 00:39:45,870
- What are you running for?
980
00:39:45,870 --> 00:39:46,703
- Vengeance.
981
00:39:46,703 --> 00:39:48,150
- Ah, never heard of that charity.
982
00:39:48,150 --> 00:39:49,740
- Don't call me charity.
983
00:39:49,740 --> 00:39:50,580
- Oh, I I didn't.
984
00:39:50,580 --> 00:39:53,040
- Charity is a name
fathers give to daughters
985
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,390
they think will be weak.
986
00:39:54,390 --> 00:39:55,680
- It's just.
- And beautiful,
987
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:58,365
skilled at making decorative piecrust.
988
00:39:58,365 --> 00:39:59,850
- Word.
989
00:39:59,850 --> 00:40:02,700
You want some tape? It'll
ward off those blisters.
990
00:40:02,700 --> 00:40:04,620
- Much appreciated.
991
00:40:04,620 --> 00:40:06,930
- That's why we do it.
992
00:40:06,930 --> 00:40:08,013
Farewell Charity.
993
00:40:10,590 --> 00:40:13,320
- I hope he chokes on a goop.
994
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,513
Oh, oh, he is, he is choking.
995
00:40:16,530 --> 00:40:17,670
Oh no, he's okay.
996
00:40:17,670 --> 00:40:19,323
- Just a really big snap rocket.
997
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,260
- [Narrator] November rolled along
998
00:40:22,260 --> 00:40:24,663
and the company reached a mighty river.
999
00:40:26,474 --> 00:40:27,535
(mandolin music)
1000
00:40:27,535 --> 00:40:30,368
(Captain humming)
1001
00:40:31,294 --> 00:40:32,127
- Ooh.
1002
00:40:32,127 --> 00:40:34,053
Such a swift and frigid current.
1003
00:40:35,580 --> 00:40:37,050
Could be quite lethal,
1004
00:40:37,050 --> 00:40:39,510
especially for our compromised party.
1005
00:40:39,510 --> 00:40:41,370
How electrifying, eh?
1006
00:40:41,370 --> 00:40:42,720
Does anyone know how to tell
1007
00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:44,733
if your boots have been water treated?
1008
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:49,921
Get back to me.
1009
00:40:49,921 --> 00:40:53,001
(water flowing)
1010
00:40:53,001 --> 00:40:55,834
(mandolin music)
1011
00:41:01,140 --> 00:41:03,090
- Elijah, I wonder if you might help me?
1012
00:41:03,090 --> 00:41:04,680
- You need help crossing the river?
1013
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,360
- No, I should be able to manage fine,
1014
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:07,740
but can you help Cora.
1015
00:41:07,740 --> 00:41:09,440
- Of course Aveline, I've got her.
1016
00:41:12,930 --> 00:41:15,263
You know, I could also
assist you if you need it.
1017
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,219
I know you've been with
the hand cart, the whole.
1018
00:41:19,219 --> 00:41:21,240
(Cora retching)
1019
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:23,139
- Do you need my help?
1020
00:41:23,139 --> 00:41:26,598
Her bones are sharp, but
also surprisingly dense.
1021
00:41:26,598 --> 00:41:28,515
- No, no, I've got her.
1022
00:41:29,820 --> 00:41:30,653
No got her.
1023
00:41:31,950 --> 00:41:33,343
Wanted it to be you.
1024
00:41:33,343 --> 00:41:34,511
- Oh.
1025
00:41:34,511 --> 00:41:37,928
(acoustic guitar music)
1026
00:41:41,836 --> 00:41:44,010
It's like I'm your
bride, but more perilous.
1027
00:41:44,010 --> 00:41:47,400
And my lack of eating isn't
to fit into a wedding dress.
1028
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:50,130
- Why would you not eat
to fit into a dress?
1029
00:41:50,130 --> 00:41:51,780
- I don't make the rules, Elijah.
1030
00:41:52,912 --> 00:41:54,564
Oh,
1031
00:41:54,564 --> 00:41:55,897
thank you, thank you.
1032
00:41:55,897 --> 00:41:56,730
- Yeah, of course.
1033
00:41:56,730 --> 00:41:58,808
- We did it.
- We did.
1034
00:41:58,808 --> 00:42:00,450
Thank you.
1035
00:42:00,450 --> 00:42:02,670
All right, should we get going?
1036
00:42:02,670 --> 00:42:03,753
- Excuse me?
1037
00:42:09,450 --> 00:42:11,810
- Yeah, let me, let me
help you, Charlotte.
1038
00:42:13,927 --> 00:42:16,594
(water washing)
1039
00:42:20,658 --> 00:42:22,260
Okay.
1040
00:42:22,260 --> 00:42:24,063
- Such a nice young man.
1041
00:42:25,050 --> 00:42:28,290
You know, you remind
me of my late husband.
1042
00:42:28,290 --> 00:42:30,243
He sweated a lot less.
1043
00:42:32,220 --> 00:42:34,713
Don't forget my son, Joseph.
1044
00:42:40,590 --> 00:42:41,640
- Faster.
1045
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,352
- Wait, no, we don't have to.
1046
00:42:43,352 --> 00:42:44,185
We don't have to go faster.
1047
00:42:44,185 --> 00:42:45,018
- I don't want to be here.
1048
00:42:45,018 --> 00:42:46,344
- What are you doing?
1049
00:42:46,344 --> 00:42:47,177
- Grandma!
1050
00:42:47,177 --> 00:42:48,215
- Stop!
1051
00:42:48,215 --> 00:42:49,048
Stop the cross.
1052
00:42:49,048 --> 00:42:49,881
- No!
1053
00:42:53,864 --> 00:42:55,197
Thanks, I guess.
1054
00:42:57,287 --> 00:43:02,001
- Please Elijah, we
could also use your help.
1055
00:43:02,001 --> 00:43:03,390
- When did you join our company?
1056
00:43:03,390 --> 00:43:05,070
- Please carry me.
1057
00:43:05,070 --> 00:43:06,843
I have a fear of small streams.
1058
00:43:10,483 --> 00:43:13,233
(man screaming)
1059
00:43:15,180 --> 00:43:16,353
- You ever seen a bird?
1060
00:43:17,580 --> 00:43:19,280
- I still don't care for you much.
1061
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:25,507
- I'm sorry.
1062
00:43:25,507 --> 00:43:26,457
You're on your own.
1063
00:43:29,310 --> 00:43:30,960
- Here lies the one poor chap
1064
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,900
that Elijah refused to carry
across the river today.
1065
00:43:33,900 --> 00:43:35,640
- Don't know why you had
to phrase it like that.
1066
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,410
- In light of Elijah's callous act,
1067
00:43:37,410 --> 00:43:39,450
I think we could all use a pick me up.
1068
00:43:39,450 --> 00:43:41,100
Terrence, would you do the honors?
1069
00:43:41,100 --> 00:43:42,250
- Captain, I'd love to.
1070
00:43:44,822 --> 00:43:46,979
♪ The journey is long ♪
1071
00:43:46,979 --> 00:43:49,339
♪ We're all so strong ♪
1072
00:43:49,339 --> 00:43:54,339
♪ If you believe you can do anything ♪
1073
00:43:55,159 --> 00:43:57,393
♪ You can be anyone ♪
1074
00:43:57,393 --> 00:44:01,262
♪ You can go anywhere ♪
1075
00:44:01,262 --> 00:44:04,020
♪ As long as you believe ♪
1076
00:44:04,020 --> 00:44:06,093
Seriously, you can do anything.
1077
00:44:07,260 --> 00:44:08,610
What about you little lady?
1078
00:44:08,610 --> 00:44:09,443
What do you wanna do?
1079
00:44:09,443 --> 00:44:11,070
- I wanna finish this journey.
1080
00:44:11,070 --> 00:44:13,104
- Oh, well, do you believe you can?
1081
00:44:13,104 --> 00:44:14,910
- I know I can.
- Yeah!
1082
00:44:14,910 --> 00:44:15,873
That's a spirit.
1083
00:44:16,875 --> 00:44:19,365
♪ You can do anything ♪
1084
00:44:19,365 --> 00:44:21,692
♪ You can be anyone ♪
1085
00:44:21,692 --> 00:44:26,692
♪ You can go anywhere
as long as you believe ♪
1086
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,270
What about you? What do you wanna do?
1087
00:44:30,270 --> 00:44:32,323
- Honestly, I'd love to vote.
1088
00:44:32,323 --> 00:44:34,740
- Oh.
1089
00:44:34,740 --> 00:44:35,573
That's a real good one.
1090
00:44:35,573 --> 00:44:37,990
It's a good one. It is the 1800s.
1091
00:44:37,990 --> 00:44:40,110
And I don't really think
that's the theme of the song,
1092
00:44:40,110 --> 00:44:42,150
but I, I, let's just circle back to it.
1093
00:44:42,150 --> 00:44:44,538
Yeah, let's circle back.
1094
00:44:44,538 --> 00:44:45,810
What about you? What do you wanna do?
1095
00:44:45,810 --> 00:44:48,660
- I'd like the full
mobility of my legs back.
1096
00:44:48,660 --> 00:44:51,300
- You know, polio Joe, I am so sorry.
1097
00:44:51,300 --> 00:44:53,550
I should've knew that was coming.
1098
00:44:53,550 --> 00:44:55,080
Never even should've
asked you that question.
1099
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:58,290
- Do you call me Polio Joe?
1100
00:44:58,290 --> 00:44:59,730
- Is your surname not Joe?
1101
00:44:59,730 --> 00:45:01,170
- I would like to have six arms myself.
1102
00:45:01,170 --> 00:45:02,414
- What?
1103
00:45:02,414 --> 00:45:03,247
I think that doesn't make any sense.
1104
00:45:03,247 --> 00:45:05,043
- I wanna see a man go over a waterfall,
1105
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:07,560
disappear into the mist,
1106
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:10,653
his distant screams
evaporate into the air.
1107
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:13,620
Crunch.
1108
00:45:13,620 --> 00:45:15,270
Did he die?
1109
00:45:15,270 --> 00:45:16,620
Yeah, definitely.
1110
00:45:16,620 --> 00:45:18,870
He had a strange relationship
with his loved ones.
1111
00:45:18,870 --> 00:45:19,953
No one mourns.
1112
00:45:20,940 --> 00:45:22,920
Not even the children.
1113
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,500
They danced on his grave. Sorry, swam.
1114
00:45:25,500 --> 00:45:26,333
Occasionally.
1115
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,670
- I think we should just
kind of wrap things up.
1116
00:45:29,670 --> 00:45:30,580
What do you say?
1117
00:45:30,580 --> 00:45:31,413
- I would like to fly.
1118
00:45:31,413 --> 00:45:32,640
- I'd like to live forever.
1119
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,470
- I wanna wash a spoon,
1120
00:45:34,470 --> 00:45:36,540
and not have the water go everywhere.
1121
00:45:36,540 --> 00:45:38,880
- Don't be ridiculous, Julian.
1122
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,850
- Well I personally feel like not everyone
1123
00:45:41,850 --> 00:45:44,760
is doing their part to
clean up around camp.
1124
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:46,620
Why is everyone looking at me like that?
1125
00:45:46,620 --> 00:45:48,330
Are we not airing our grievances?
1126
00:45:48,330 --> 00:45:49,650
I just got here.
1127
00:45:49,650 --> 00:45:52,252
- No, we're just trying to
have a fun, uplifting song.
1128
00:45:52,252 --> 00:45:54,960
- I would like to bathe in pork rinds.
1129
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:56,880
- So when are we gonna get this stuff?
1130
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:58,110
- It's just a song.
1131
00:45:58,110 --> 00:46:00,270
I don't, can't give you this.
1132
00:46:00,270 --> 00:46:01,350
- What?
1133
00:46:01,350 --> 00:46:03,810
Okay, I think that's
enough fun for one night.
1134
00:46:03,810 --> 00:46:07,372
Thank you Terrence.
1135
00:46:07,372 --> 00:46:08,205
- I never saw,
1136
00:46:08,205 --> 00:46:09,038
- Sorry about this, everyone.
1137
00:46:09,038 --> 00:46:12,393
Very sorry. Let's get some rest, okay?
1138
00:46:19,860 --> 00:46:21,410
You proud of yourself Terrence?
1139
00:46:24,293 --> 00:46:27,300
(whistling)
1140
00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:29,370
- [Narrator] Terrence was not proud.
1141
00:46:29,370 --> 00:46:31,620
And as he cried himself to sleep,
1142
00:46:31,620 --> 00:46:35,853
he knew, as did they all,
that tensions were rising.
1143
00:46:36,696 --> 00:46:38,988
(whistling)
1144
00:46:38,988 --> 00:46:41,738
(person yelling)
1145
00:46:44,700 --> 00:46:45,633
- Morning Cora.
1146
00:46:47,430 --> 00:46:48,390
You look nice.
1147
00:46:48,390 --> 00:46:49,380
- Oh, thanks.
1148
00:46:49,380 --> 00:46:50,580
Should we get going?
1149
00:46:50,580 --> 00:46:51,750
- Cora, is that my dress?
1150
00:46:51,750 --> 00:46:53,553
- What? No.
1151
00:46:54,660 --> 00:46:58,020
- I own exactly three dresses
and that's one of them.
1152
00:46:58,020 --> 00:47:00,210
- No, I probably just got the same one.
1153
00:47:00,210 --> 00:47:01,170
- I sewed it.
1154
00:47:01,170 --> 00:47:02,100
- You're mistaken.
1155
00:47:02,100 --> 00:47:03,810
- Cora, you got blood all over it.
1156
00:47:03,810 --> 00:47:05,880
You gotta get blood on everything?
1157
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:06,810
- Don't be so dramatic.
1158
00:47:06,810 --> 00:47:08,790
A little consumption never hurt no dress.
1159
00:47:08,790 --> 00:47:09,623
- Take it off.
1160
00:47:09,623 --> 00:47:10,616
- Make me.
1161
00:47:10,616 --> 00:47:11,949
- You know, I could.
- No.
1162
00:47:11,949 --> 00:47:13,073
- You're dumb.
1163
00:47:13,073 --> 00:47:13,906
- You're.
1164
00:47:15,930 --> 00:47:16,860
- Proving my point.
1165
00:47:16,860 --> 00:47:19,500
- You're just jealous my
bones are shaped like this.
1166
00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:21,060
- What are you talking about?
1167
00:47:21,060 --> 00:47:24,000
- You have normal bones
and mine are special.
1168
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:28,590
I get to be special and
weird and diseased and dying,
1169
00:47:28,590 --> 00:47:31,560
and you get to live, and you're jealous.
1170
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:34,350
I live on the edge all the time.
1171
00:47:34,350 --> 00:47:35,523
I'm better than you.
1172
00:47:37,230 --> 00:47:38,220
- Morning you two.
1173
00:47:38,220 --> 00:47:40,050
The company's about to leave.
1174
00:47:40,050 --> 00:47:41,040
I like your dress, Miss Cora.
1175
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:41,873
- Oh.
1176
00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:47,820
- You really like this dress?
1177
00:47:47,820 --> 00:47:48,903
- Yeah, it's nice.
1178
00:47:50,580 --> 00:47:51,603
Stop.
1179
00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:53,670
- Two feet?
- Two feet.
1180
00:47:59,490 --> 00:48:01,110
Oh, I'm Cora.
1181
00:48:01,110 --> 00:48:02,460
I get everything handed to me
1182
00:48:02,460 --> 00:48:05,010
because my bowels are
made of tissue paper,
1183
00:48:05,010 --> 00:48:06,373
blah, blah, blah.
1184
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,783
- It is maddening, isn't it?
1185
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:13,680
Having something taken from you.
1186
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:14,613
- Oh hello,
1187
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:16,433
Robin?
1188
00:48:16,433 --> 00:48:18,330
- Don't play female with me.
1189
00:48:18,330 --> 00:48:20,100
- Did you just use the word female
1190
00:48:20,100 --> 00:48:21,813
as a replacement for dumb?
1191
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:26,040
- You are much more male than I realized.
1192
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:27,157
- What do you want?
1193
00:48:27,157 --> 00:48:29,880
- Oh, I'm not playing that game.
1194
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,280
If my father taught me anything,
1195
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,520
it's that asking directly
won't get you respect,
1196
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:38,670
love, or momentary eye contact.
1197
00:48:38,670 --> 00:48:40,230
- Well, I don't want any trouble.
1198
00:48:40,230 --> 00:48:41,100
Do you want money?
1199
00:48:41,100 --> 00:48:44,370
- I want my half cent,
you thievin' enchantress.
1200
00:48:44,370 --> 00:48:45,300
- Half cent?
1201
00:48:45,300 --> 00:48:47,583
- Exact change.
1202
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:51,123
- Okay, let me see what I have.
1203
00:48:52,170 --> 00:48:53,400
- Telegram.
1204
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:54,450
- Oh, Angus.
1205
00:48:54,450 --> 00:48:56,323
How did we catch up to you so fast?
1206
00:48:56,323 --> 00:48:57,467
- Oh, you haven't caught up to me woman.
1207
00:48:57,467 --> 00:49:00,000
I been up to Canada,
down in Mexico and back.
1208
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,150
- I admire your dedication,
but you sure seem crazy.
1209
00:49:03,150 --> 00:49:04,555
- That's why I do it.
1210
00:49:04,555 --> 00:49:06,681
- So people will call you crazy?
1211
00:49:06,681 --> 00:49:10,200
- That's why I do it.
1212
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:11,640
- Why are you bleeding so much?
1213
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:13,940
- That's why I would do it.
1214
00:49:13,940 --> 00:49:15,970
- Do you have hemophilia?
1215
00:49:15,970 --> 00:49:19,118
(Angus laughing)
1216
00:49:19,118 --> 00:49:21,000
- Woo! Morning, sir.
1217
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,140
- Thank you.
1218
00:49:22,140 --> 00:49:22,973
- Woo.
1219
00:49:25,118 --> 00:49:26,343
- That boy's gonna die.
1220
00:49:27,630 --> 00:49:29,133
Oh, it's from my father.
1221
00:49:30,090 --> 00:49:33,270
- Your father respects
you enough to pay postage
1222
00:49:33,270 --> 00:49:34,860
to communicate with you?
1223
00:49:34,860 --> 00:49:36,710
- You've had a sad life, haven't you?
1224
00:49:39,835 --> 00:49:40,830
- [Aveline's Dad] Aveline, stop.
1225
00:49:40,830 --> 00:49:42,960
Sarah's moving up the wedding, stop.
1226
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:44,190
Also, your son has joined
1227
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:46,380
his future in-laws outlaw gang, stop.
1228
00:49:46,380 --> 00:49:48,870
I just realized how
funny that sounds, stop.
1229
00:49:48,870 --> 00:49:50,910
I've run out of space, stop.
1230
00:49:50,910 --> 00:49:51,930
Wait, you're telling me
1231
00:49:51,930 --> 00:49:54,120
I don't have to write
the word, stop? Stop.
1232
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:55,770
Well then stop writing stop.
1233
00:49:55,770 --> 00:49:58,230
Stop, no, I'm saying for you to stop.
1234
00:49:58,230 --> 00:49:59,340
Not stop, stop.
1235
00:49:59,340 --> 00:50:00,840
How much is this cost?
1236
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:02,040
- That's it.
1237
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:02,940
- Haste. Haste.
1238
00:50:02,940 --> 00:50:04,560
You must answer him at once.
1239
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:05,850
- If you'll excuse me.
1240
00:50:05,850 --> 00:50:08,823
- Of course, I won't move from this place.
1241
00:50:09,914 --> 00:50:13,331
(acoustic guitar music)
1242
00:50:14,550 --> 00:50:17,973
- Mrs. Cora, Elijah's last name.
1243
00:50:21,690 --> 00:50:23,583
Just chill for one second.
1244
00:50:24,656 --> 00:50:26,493
Hey, I changed, you happy?
1245
00:50:26,493 --> 00:50:27,570
You okay?
1246
00:50:27,570 --> 00:50:29,580
- We need to get to Oregon, now.
1247
00:50:29,580 --> 00:50:32,730
- Hold on, the lid's not
on the chipper pot yet.
1248
00:50:32,730 --> 00:50:34,230
- [Narrator] With a newfound haste,
1249
00:50:34,230 --> 00:50:36,420
the band of misfits set off quicker
1250
00:50:36,420 --> 00:50:38,190
than a chicken in a wolf house,
1251
00:50:38,190 --> 00:50:40,410
toward the state of evergreen trees,
1252
00:50:40,410 --> 00:50:43,353
a killer art scene, and no sales tax.
1253
00:50:44,232 --> 00:50:47,640
(soft piano music)
1254
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:52,640
- My mama made that cake with
our very last sugar and flour.
1255
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:57,240
- Now Clarence, where it lies.
1256
00:50:57,240 --> 00:51:00,630
- I do know better. (laughing)
1257
00:51:00,630 --> 00:51:02,130
- You think we'll make it, Elijah?
1258
00:51:02,130 --> 00:51:05,190
There's more weight in the
Captain's hat than in his head.
1259
00:51:05,190 --> 00:51:06,660
- I have to believe he'll help us.
1260
00:51:06,660 --> 00:51:08,553
The man worked with Davy Crockett.
1261
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:14,910
- You ever light your hand on fire?
1262
00:51:14,910 --> 00:51:16,050
- Okay. (screaming)
1263
00:51:16,050 --> 00:51:16,883
- That's not.
1264
00:51:20,530 --> 00:51:22,463
- Must have tuckered herself out today.
1265
00:51:23,340 --> 00:51:24,173
Have a seat.
1266
00:51:24,173 --> 00:51:25,006
- Oh, thank you.
1267
00:51:28,161 --> 00:51:30,128
(Cora snoring)
1268
00:51:30,128 --> 00:51:32,070
You sure take care of a lot
of people, don't you, Aveline?
1269
00:51:32,070 --> 00:51:33,520
- Even if they don't want it.
1270
00:51:34,409 --> 00:51:37,076
(Cora snorting)
1271
00:51:39,409 --> 00:51:40,242
It's fine.
1272
00:51:41,740 --> 00:51:44,407
(Cora gasping)
1273
00:51:50,730 --> 00:51:52,080
Are you okay?
1274
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:52,913
Cora?
1275
00:51:54,152 --> 00:51:55,107
(Cora snorting)
1276
00:51:55,107 --> 00:51:57,211
- Kill the neighbors.
1277
00:51:57,211 --> 00:51:58,312
Oh.
1278
00:51:58,312 --> 00:52:01,440
Aveline, I was having
the most wonderful dream.
1279
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:02,490
- Are you okay?
1280
00:52:02,490 --> 00:52:05,370
Your snoring is, in a word, satanic.
1281
00:52:05,370 --> 00:52:08,250
- I was sleeping more
soundly than a sweet chicken,
1282
00:52:08,250 --> 00:52:09,690
in a wolf's loving embrace.
1283
00:52:09,690 --> 00:52:11,040
- That's not the expression.
1284
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:12,180
- Whoa, everything all right here.
1285
00:52:12,180 --> 00:52:13,050
Some of the party members
1286
00:52:13,050 --> 00:52:14,730
heard the wales of a half-eaten bison,
1287
00:52:14,730 --> 00:52:16,170
might be wolves about.
1288
00:52:16,170 --> 00:52:17,340
- We're fine, thanks Terrence.
1289
00:52:17,340 --> 00:52:19,230
- Okay, good good. No need to panic then.
1290
00:52:19,230 --> 00:52:20,870
Y'all just stay put like a sinful chicken
1291
00:52:20,870 --> 00:52:22,200
in a wolf's clothing.
1292
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:23,583
Let me handle the rest.
1293
00:52:27,666 --> 00:52:29,430
(Aveline sighing)
1294
00:52:29,430 --> 00:52:32,700
- You should really let other
people help you out sometimes.
1295
00:52:32,700 --> 00:52:33,780
- No thanks.
1296
00:52:33,780 --> 00:52:36,480
It's just me, Cora, and my
kids, and I'm fine with that.
1297
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,040
I don't wanna bring down the curse
1298
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,443
on any unsuspecting folks, right?
1299
00:52:41,287 --> 00:52:43,787
(soft music)
1300
00:52:51,180 --> 00:52:52,930
- Maybe we should prop her up more?
1301
00:52:56,525 --> 00:52:58,108
- Lord, let me out.
1302
00:52:59,157 --> 00:53:00,352
Let me out.
1303
00:53:00,352 --> 00:53:01,830
- [Charlotte] Can't you keep her quiet?
1304
00:53:01,830 --> 00:53:04,533
I just fell asleep for the
first time in 20 years.
1305
00:53:06,210 --> 00:53:08,220
- That can't be true, Charlotte.
1306
00:53:08,220 --> 00:53:10,560
- [Charlotte] You calling me a liar?
1307
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:11,393
- Yeah.
1308
00:53:11,393 --> 00:53:14,040
- [Charlotte] I will slap
you like a stone chicken
1309
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:16,023
shaped like a wolf's behind.
1310
00:53:17,430 --> 00:53:19,770
- Ain't nobody ever heard
of the expression before.
1311
00:53:19,770 --> 00:53:20,850
- Where I grew up, we always said,
1312
00:53:20,850 --> 00:53:23,490
- I'm tuckered out as a dolled up chicken
1313
00:53:23,490 --> 00:53:25,740
at a wolf's bar mitzvah.
1314
00:53:25,740 --> 00:53:27,640
- [Narrator] And that's not it either.
1315
00:53:30,794 --> 00:53:33,313
- You know, Miss Aveline,
1316
00:53:33,313 --> 00:53:35,341
I don't believe in curses.
1317
00:53:35,341 --> 00:53:37,650
- [Cora] Lord, let me out.
1318
00:53:37,650 --> 00:53:38,483
Scatter.
1319
00:53:39,392 --> 00:53:42,225
(Cora mumbling)
1320
00:53:52,083 --> 00:53:56,670
- I swear on all the names
of my male ancestors,
1321
00:53:56,670 --> 00:54:01,410
I am collecting that
she devil's half cent.
1322
00:54:01,410 --> 00:54:03,183
Plus interest.
1323
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,880
- [Narrator] Ah, morning on the trail.
1324
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:11,580
Is there anything lovelier
than the fresh air,
1325
00:54:11,580 --> 00:54:12,633
the morning dew?
1326
00:54:13,675 --> 00:54:15,035
- A rattler!
1327
00:54:15,035 --> 00:54:16,277
- Stay still, Cora.
1328
00:54:16,277 --> 00:54:17,340
- Not to fear,
1329
00:54:17,340 --> 00:54:18,750
these boots are made of the toughest
1330
00:54:18,750 --> 00:54:20,583
satanic leather souls can buy.
1331
00:54:24,090 --> 00:54:25,320
- Oh Cora.
1332
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:27,060
- Not to worry, just stunned is all.
1333
00:54:27,060 --> 00:54:28,839
- Oh, thank goodness.
1334
00:54:28,839 --> 00:54:30,300
You okay?
1335
00:54:30,300 --> 00:54:32,790
- Oh, I thought I was gonna die.
1336
00:54:32,790 --> 00:54:34,410
I mean, more than usual.
1337
00:54:34,410 --> 00:54:38,250
- This journey has been more
stressful than I imagined.
1338
00:54:38,250 --> 00:54:39,270
- Oh, I say,
1339
00:54:39,270 --> 00:54:42,840
this ordeal deserves some
R and R, don't you think?
1340
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:44,220
I know it's been difficult,
1341
00:54:44,220 --> 00:54:48,263
but I really feel as though
the worst is- (screaming)
1342
00:54:48,263 --> 00:54:52,260
(acoustic guitar music)
1343
00:54:52,260 --> 00:54:54,720
- [Narrator] And so our
travelers stopped for a show
1344
00:54:54,720 --> 00:54:56,433
at the Donner Family Circus.
1345
00:54:57,919 --> 00:54:59,421
♪ Howdy all, come one, come all ♪
1346
00:54:59,421 --> 00:55:01,204
♪ To the Donner Family Circus ♪
1347
00:55:01,204 --> 00:55:02,954
♪ We move around from town to town ♪
1348
00:55:02,954 --> 00:55:04,724
♪ We promise you it's worth it ♪
1349
00:55:04,724 --> 00:55:06,354
♪ No animals, we're cruelty-free ♪
1350
00:55:06,354 --> 00:55:08,132
♪ So please don't cause a riot ♪
1351
00:55:08,132 --> 00:55:09,644
♪ It's quite the feat, no flesh, no meat ♪
1352
00:55:09,644 --> 00:55:11,730
♪ And a strictly plant-based diet ♪
1353
00:55:11,730 --> 00:55:14,274
- Why are they talking
about their diets so much.
1354
00:55:14,274 --> 00:55:17,574
♪ At the Donner Family Circus,
it's certainly a thrill ♪
1355
00:55:17,574 --> 00:55:21,000
♪ You see a stance on animals
is do no harm nor kill ♪
1356
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:22,644
♪ Unless you think a boring time ♪
1357
00:55:22,644 --> 00:55:24,596
♪ Is something you should fear ♪
1358
00:55:24,596 --> 00:55:27,807
♪ Every role a creature
fills, a human does it here ♪
1359
00:55:27,807 --> 00:55:29,148
♪ Let's meet them ♪
1360
00:55:29,148 --> 00:55:32,576
♪ I am the lion of this hip place ♪
1361
00:55:32,576 --> 00:55:35,310
♪ But I'm not trying to eat your face ♪
1362
00:55:35,310 --> 00:55:36,143
- I hope not.
1363
00:55:36,143 --> 00:55:39,371
♪ But if you cross me, don't
think you are blessed ♪
1364
00:55:39,371 --> 00:55:41,129
♪ I might go feral ♪
1365
00:55:41,129 --> 00:55:44,820
♪ And eat your flesh ♪
1366
00:55:44,820 --> 00:55:46,641
- Ah no, I'm just
kidding. I'm just kidding.
1367
00:55:46,641 --> 00:55:47,880
Just kidding.
1368
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,800
But what if we did it for real?
1369
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:51,800
- Eric, can we not do this again?
1370
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:52,981
- As a prank.
1371
00:55:52,981 --> 00:55:54,731
- Eric?
- As a prank.
1372
00:55:56,220 --> 00:55:57,810
- Keep going with the song.
1373
00:55:57,810 --> 00:55:59,414
♪ I Am the Strong Man here ♪
1374
00:55:59,414 --> 00:56:01,037
♪ Building muscles for years ♪
1375
00:56:01,037 --> 00:56:02,253
♪ Through mud, blood, sweat, and tears ♪
1376
00:56:02,253 --> 00:56:04,464
♪ And finest whole wheat grains ♪
1377
00:56:04,464 --> 00:56:06,053
♪ Workout six times a week ♪
1378
00:56:06,053 --> 00:56:07,697
♪ Perfect from head to feet ♪
1379
00:56:07,697 --> 00:56:12,697
♪ Like Japanese Wagyu beef
I've got the swollen gains ♪
1380
00:56:13,710 --> 00:56:14,666
- I'll translate.
1381
00:56:14,666 --> 00:56:17,272
♪ Hey, it's me, I'm the
mime, don't mind me ♪
1382
00:56:17,272 --> 00:56:19,062
♪ I'm the mime, I won't scream ♪
1383
00:56:19,062 --> 00:56:23,200
♪ I'm the mime if you
find me, I'm the mime ♪
1384
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:24,033
(crowd moaning)
1385
00:56:24,033 --> 00:56:24,870
- [Terrence] Stop.
1386
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:27,750
- I'm just so hungry right now.
1387
00:56:27,750 --> 00:56:28,740
- Did you eat your rations?
1388
00:56:28,740 --> 00:56:29,640
- Did you eat your rations?
1389
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:31,340
Yes, I ate my rations, I'm so, oh.
1390
00:56:32,460 --> 00:56:33,293
- What happened?
1391
00:56:33,293 --> 00:56:34,291
- I built my tongue.
1392
00:56:34,291 --> 00:56:35,430
- Oh no.
1393
00:56:35,430 --> 00:56:36,263
- And you know what?
1394
00:56:36,263 --> 00:56:39,240
It's the best meal I've had in weeks.
1395
00:56:39,240 --> 00:56:40,143
- Eric, stop.
1396
00:56:40,143 --> 00:56:41,820
- Have you tasted anything like the blood
1397
00:56:41,820 --> 00:56:43,470
that's coming outta my tongue right now?
1398
00:56:43,470 --> 00:56:44,963
You probably should, it's pretty good.
1399
00:56:44,963 --> 00:56:46,713
- I heard it's a delicacy.
1400
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:49,180
- You got anything to say?
1401
00:56:53,490 --> 00:56:54,900
- Yeah, bite him again.
1402
00:56:54,900 --> 00:56:56,490
- Goodnight everyone.
1403
00:56:56,490 --> 00:56:58,140
You'll get your refunds up front.
1404
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:02,250
- We're gonna go to
intermission. (laughing)
1405
00:57:02,250 --> 00:57:03,960
Be sure to join us for our last two shows
1406
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:04,830
before we head to California.
1407
00:57:04,830 --> 00:57:06,840
Thank you so much for coming.
1408
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:09,240
Eric stop, this is
supposed to last all month.
1409
00:57:09,240 --> 00:57:11,250
- When the lion's hungry
the lion will eat.
1410
00:57:11,250 --> 00:57:12,960
And what is wrong with this apple?
1411
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:14,610
- [Terrence] It's a potato. Eric.
1412
00:57:16,950 --> 00:57:18,270
- It was better in Florida.
1413
00:57:18,270 --> 00:57:20,733
It was much better, there
were six people then.
1414
00:57:21,903 --> 00:57:23,550
(acoustic guitar music)
1415
00:57:23,550 --> 00:57:25,320
- [Narrator] For the dwindling company,
1416
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:28,380
the Rockies proved more
treacherous than a chicken
1417
00:57:28,380 --> 00:57:30,990
wearing the fishnet
stockings of a jaded wolf.
1418
00:57:33,308 --> 00:57:35,969
(acoustic guitar music)
1419
00:57:35,969 --> 00:57:37,530
- Aveline, can I tell you a secret?
1420
00:57:37,530 --> 00:57:38,400
- What is it?
1421
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:40,620
- When we get to Oregon,
I'm gonna get married.
1422
00:57:40,620 --> 00:57:41,640
- What?
1423
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:42,840
- Who asked you?
1424
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:44,970
- Elijah, of course.
1425
00:57:44,970 --> 00:57:46,500
And he didn't so much ask me,
1426
00:57:46,500 --> 00:57:49,590
as say I needed someone
special to take care of me.
1427
00:57:49,590 --> 00:57:51,240
- Did he now?
1428
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:53,493
- Or did he say I needed a specialist?
1429
00:57:54,750 --> 00:57:56,703
Either way, wedding bells are ringing.
1430
00:57:57,798 --> 00:58:00,965
(inspirational music)
1431
00:58:06,953 --> 00:58:08,992
(guns firing)
1432
00:58:08,992 --> 00:58:10,290
- Looks like we got ourselves
1433
00:58:10,290 --> 00:58:12,853
a couple of chickens and a wolf now.
1434
00:58:12,853 --> 00:58:14,520
- Ooh, most exciting.
1435
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:15,573
- We meet again,
1436
00:58:16,410 --> 00:58:18,930
and this time I brought friends.
1437
00:58:18,930 --> 00:58:20,970
- We're actually a gang, not friends.
1438
00:58:20,970 --> 00:58:23,310
- It is really important
that we get that right.
1439
00:58:23,310 --> 00:58:26,880
- You won't get away,
you duplicitous Delilah.
1440
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:27,960
- Want me to shoot 'em?
1441
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:29,433
- Just the tires.
1442
00:58:30,510 --> 00:58:31,350
- What's a tire?
1443
00:58:31,350 --> 00:58:32,533
- Fire away.
1444
00:58:32,533 --> 00:58:34,575
(guns firing)
1445
00:58:34,575 --> 00:58:35,509
- Cora, get down.
1446
00:58:35,509 --> 00:58:38,791
- You know I can't bend
over, I'll explode.
1447
00:58:38,791 --> 00:58:40,006
- Yeah!
1448
00:58:40,006 --> 00:58:42,690
(guns firing)
1449
00:58:42,690 --> 00:58:43,523
- Where's that coming from?
1450
00:58:43,523 --> 00:58:44,356
- Huh?
1451
00:58:45,750 --> 00:58:48,783
- Oh no, we've crossed into her territory.
1452
00:58:49,650 --> 00:58:50,483
- Who's.
1453
00:58:50,483 --> 00:58:52,020
- My grandma.
1454
00:58:52,020 --> 00:58:53,791
Johnny River, Senior.
1455
00:58:53,791 --> 00:58:58,791
- The Mulan of the West.
1456
00:58:59,435 --> 00:59:00,817
- Looks like we got a couple of chickens
1457
00:59:00,817 --> 00:59:03,393
in the pews of the wolf church.
1458
00:59:04,661 --> 00:59:06,009
(gun firing)
1459
00:59:06,009 --> 00:59:07,087
(Johnny screaming)
1460
00:59:07,087 --> 00:59:08,267
(guns firing)
1461
00:59:08,267 --> 00:59:09,570
- Let's go.
1462
00:59:09,570 --> 00:59:10,863
Take as much as you can carry.
1463
00:59:10,863 --> 00:59:12,132
- Oh my (indistinct).
1464
00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:13,852
- Just leave it.
1465
00:59:13,852 --> 00:59:16,435
(guns firing)
1466
00:59:23,700 --> 00:59:26,611
- Willy, go fetch that traveling boy.
1467
00:59:26,611 --> 00:59:28,473
(guns firing)
1468
00:59:28,473 --> 00:59:32,223
(solemn instrumental music)
1469
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:38,993
- I think we lost 'em.
1470
00:59:38,993 --> 00:59:40,323
- Where's Elijah?
1471
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:42,810
- Elijah's gone?
1472
00:59:42,810 --> 00:59:44,013
- Wherever could he be?
1473
00:59:44,966 --> 00:59:47,430
And do you think maybe
he has my penny farthing?
1474
00:59:47,430 --> 00:59:49,920
- [Narrator] Elijah did not
have the penny farthing.
1475
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:51,360
It was the dead of December
1476
00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:54,630
and he was tied up
somewhere in the Teto- oh,
1477
00:59:54,630 --> 00:59:56,843
I didn't realize we were
gonna put it on the screen.
1478
00:59:59,012 --> 01:00:01,512
(soft music)
1479
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,060
- Let's get right down to it, Elijah.
1480
01:00:06,060 --> 01:00:08,100
Robert wants that money.
1481
01:00:08,100 --> 01:00:09,960
And if you don't tell me where it is,
1482
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:11,883
you are in for a world of pain.
1483
01:00:12,810 --> 01:00:14,580
- Since when did you become the heavy?
1484
01:00:14,580 --> 01:00:17,370
- It's the quiet ones you should mind.
1485
01:00:17,370 --> 01:00:19,833
Now, the half cent.
1486
01:00:20,850 --> 01:00:22,620
- Half cent, I don't know
what you're talking about.
1487
01:00:22,620 --> 01:00:25,530
- You're a lot like my
wild horses, Elijah.
1488
01:00:25,530 --> 01:00:27,638
Just need to be broken.
1489
01:00:27,638 --> 01:00:30,330
(Elijah screaming)
1490
01:00:30,330 --> 01:00:33,630
- Come now. All this
unpleasantness can end.
1491
01:00:33,630 --> 01:00:34,533
Wow.
1492
01:00:36,150 --> 01:00:40,353
Did some air just secede from your union?
1493
01:00:41,700 --> 01:00:43,140
- Yes, it was me.
1494
01:00:43,140 --> 01:00:45,550
- Well it happens sometimes
1495
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:48,243
when a person is ill.
1496
01:00:49,170 --> 01:00:51,570
- Mighty embarrassing.
Couldn't control it.
1497
01:00:51,570 --> 01:00:53,670
- Just means the torture's working.
1498
01:00:53,670 --> 01:00:54,770
It means it's working.
1499
01:00:55,620 --> 01:00:57,180
Good job, you.
1500
01:00:57,180 --> 01:01:00,430
It's just, Rocky Mountain
oysters, did you just do it again?
1501
01:01:00,430 --> 01:01:01,650
- I thought you were gonna brand me again.
1502
01:01:01,650 --> 01:01:03,202
- Yeah, well you were right.
1503
01:01:03,202 --> 01:01:06,119
(Elijah screaming)
1504
01:01:07,410 --> 01:01:09,150
What is wrong with you?
1505
01:01:09,150 --> 01:01:10,770
Pull yourself together.
1506
01:01:10,770 --> 01:01:11,970
- I'm sorry.
1507
01:01:11,970 --> 01:01:13,710
This is what happens when you abduct a man
1508
01:01:13,710 --> 01:01:16,200
who's been living on hard
tack for three months.
1509
01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:18,510
- I wish I could see it
so I could escape it.
1510
01:01:18,510 --> 01:01:20,010
- It's involuntary.
1511
01:01:20,010 --> 01:01:20,880
- Oh, well get ready,
1512
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:23,380
'cause I'm pulling out
the biggest iron yet,
1513
01:01:23,380 --> 01:01:25,761
and ah, it's in my mouth.
1514
01:01:25,761 --> 01:01:30,630
Oh, the devil is real and he
lives in your digestive tract.
1515
01:01:30,630 --> 01:01:31,920
- Stop torturing me.
1516
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:35,340
- Never, not until, did
you just do it again?
1517
01:01:35,340 --> 01:01:37,290
How is there anything left in your body?
1518
01:01:37,290 --> 01:01:39,180
- That one was on purpose.
1519
01:01:39,180 --> 01:01:40,971
- You incontinent genius.
1520
01:01:40,971 --> 01:01:42,089
(Elijah screaming)
1521
01:01:42,089 --> 01:01:43,890
(Willy screaming)
1522
01:01:43,890 --> 01:01:44,910
Stop it, please.
1523
01:01:44,910 --> 01:01:45,990
I'll do anything.
1524
01:01:45,990 --> 01:01:47,329
- You stop.
1525
01:01:47,329 --> 01:01:48,857
- I'm suffocating.
1526
01:01:48,857 --> 01:01:50,190
- I'm releasing.
1527
01:01:52,953 --> 01:01:56,436
- (laughing) I did it.
1528
01:01:56,436 --> 01:02:00,366
(solemn trumpet music)
1529
01:02:00,366 --> 01:02:01,380
- If you've come for the money,
1530
01:02:01,380 --> 01:02:03,000
see if you can stand the smell.
1531
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:06,270
- Per my father's request,
at the onset of puberty,
1532
01:02:06,270 --> 01:02:10,140
I spent my entire adolescence
sleeping in the outhouse.
1533
01:02:10,140 --> 01:02:12,000
Smells don't scare me.
1534
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:14,250
- She carries a coin
purse in her flower tin.
1535
01:02:15,570 --> 01:02:16,403
- Thank you.
1536
01:02:26,430 --> 01:02:29,490
- [Narrator] Idaho. Don't
worry, they won't be here long.
1537
01:02:29,490 --> 01:02:30,523
- Well, howdy do.
1538
01:02:33,020 --> 01:02:35,603
(tense music)
1539
01:02:37,650 --> 01:02:39,090
Gladiators.
1540
01:02:39,090 --> 01:02:40,200
- Hello sir.
1541
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:41,790
Wait, have we met before?
1542
01:02:41,790 --> 01:02:45,720
- I'm sure I'd remember a pack
of wild stallions like y'all.
1543
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:47,820
- No, you're right.
1544
01:02:47,820 --> 01:02:49,620
- No, no, no, no, no, oh.
1545
01:02:49,620 --> 01:02:50,553
There it goes.
1546
01:02:50,553 --> 01:02:53,491
- You, you duped me
into buying a hand cart,
1547
01:02:53,491 --> 01:02:54,960
and I only got one hand.
1548
01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:57,060
- And you look all the more rugged for it.
1549
01:02:58,410 --> 01:02:59,850
- What are you doing all the way out here?
1550
01:02:59,850 --> 01:03:02,100
- I had to leave Missouri
1551
01:03:02,100 --> 01:03:05,280
on account of some dissatisfied customers.
1552
01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:08,610
- Well, I'm afraid we'll have
to be continuing our journey.
1553
01:03:08,610 --> 01:03:09,990
- Huh.
1554
01:03:09,990 --> 01:03:11,820
You wanna see something neat?
1555
01:03:11,820 --> 01:03:13,740
- We got started pretty
late and so you know,
1556
01:03:13,740 --> 01:03:14,970
we gotta make up for some time.
1557
01:03:14,970 --> 01:03:15,803
- How neat?
1558
01:03:15,803 --> 01:03:18,033
- Neat enough to merit 20 strips of bacon.
1559
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:20,070
- Well, I'm sorry.
1560
01:03:20,070 --> 01:03:21,878
I think we'll have to respectfully
1561
01:03:21,878 --> 01:03:22,747
decline.
- 10 strips.
1562
01:03:22,747 --> 01:03:23,580
- Deal.
1563
01:03:23,580 --> 01:03:25,590
- Captain, we need that food.
1564
01:03:25,590 --> 01:03:27,570
- Correction, we want food.
1565
01:03:27,570 --> 01:03:29,550
We need entertainment.
1566
01:03:29,550 --> 01:03:32,430
I get the suspicion that this
Idaho portion of the trail
1567
01:03:32,430 --> 01:03:34,503
is going to be very boring.
1568
01:03:35,970 --> 01:03:36,930
- That's real bacon.
1569
01:03:36,930 --> 01:03:38,100
Ladies and gentlemen,
1570
01:03:38,100 --> 01:03:41,010
hold onto your handsome hind quarters,
1571
01:03:41,010 --> 01:03:43,323
'cause I'm about to blow your bonnets off.
1572
01:03:47,167 --> 01:03:50,000
(mandolin music)
1573
01:03:51,021 --> 01:03:52,354
- What's inside?
1574
01:03:57,180 --> 01:03:59,970
- That's somehow more
disappointing than I was expecting.
1575
01:03:59,970 --> 01:04:01,920
- Is it too late to get back our bacon?
1576
01:04:03,474 --> 01:04:04,307
- No.
1577
01:04:04,307 --> 01:04:05,610
- Now you listen here.
1578
01:04:05,610 --> 01:04:07,170
I'm sorry, I forgot your name.
1579
01:04:07,170 --> 01:04:08,003
- Delmar.
1580
01:04:08,003 --> 01:04:09,180
- You listen here, Delmar,
1581
01:04:09,180 --> 01:04:10,920
you give us back that bacon,
1582
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:13,470
or I will personally
skin your hindquarters
1583
01:04:13,470 --> 01:04:15,030
and salt it myself.
1584
01:04:15,030 --> 01:04:18,450
- This is the original Idaho potato.
1585
01:04:18,450 --> 01:04:20,280
You mark my words, someday,
1586
01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:22,440
that's all this territory's
gonna be known for.
1587
01:04:22,440 --> 01:04:23,473
- I can get behind that.
1588
01:04:23,473 --> 01:04:25,080
- A potato is a potato.
1589
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:26,790
- Disagree to disagree.
1590
01:04:26,790 --> 01:04:29,580
You can boil it, mash it,
stick it in your shoe.
1591
01:04:29,580 --> 01:04:31,380
- You can do that with any potato.
1592
01:04:31,380 --> 01:04:34,410
- Not if it's too big, or
your shoes are too small.
1593
01:04:34,410 --> 01:04:35,280
- Yeah, he's right.
1594
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:37,650
- How about for a half a bag of flour,
1595
01:04:37,650 --> 01:04:39,180
I'll show you something golden?
1596
01:04:39,180 --> 01:04:40,513
- Deal.
1597
01:04:40,513 --> 01:04:41,820
- Oh, yes.
1598
01:04:41,820 --> 01:04:43,853
- I've got a good feeling about this one.
1599
01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:49,500
- I thought you said it
was something golden.
1600
01:04:49,500 --> 01:04:51,630
- Well, this is Yukon Gold.
1601
01:04:51,630 --> 01:04:53,520
It's worth more than any precious metal.
1602
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:56,070
- I'm gonna go ahead and
call oxen scat on that one.
1603
01:04:56,070 --> 01:04:58,230
- I knew this man was untrustworthy.
1604
01:04:58,230 --> 01:04:59,318
- Good day, sir.
1605
01:04:59,318 --> 01:05:00,510
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, whoa.
1606
01:05:00,510 --> 01:05:05,400
I promise you that this next
box does not contain a potato.
1607
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:06,960
- Two pounds of salted pork.
1608
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:10,257
- No, it's probably some sort
of trick like a sweet potato.
1609
01:05:10,257 --> 01:05:11,430
- Did you peek?
1610
01:05:11,430 --> 01:05:12,540
- We are leaving.
1611
01:05:12,540 --> 01:05:14,010
Thank you for wasting our time
1612
01:05:14,010 --> 01:05:15,963
and precious resources, Delmar.
1613
01:05:17,190 --> 01:05:18,330
- What?
1614
01:05:18,330 --> 01:05:19,170
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1615
01:05:19,170 --> 01:05:21,240
Stay, stay here with me.
1616
01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:23,670
We'll chop up this bacon,
sprinkle it on those potatoes,
1617
01:05:23,670 --> 01:05:25,680
and have the best weekend of our lives.
1618
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:27,240
We'll call it a potato bar.
1619
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:29,523
We'll have cheese, chives,
1620
01:05:31,410 --> 01:05:32,253
pork rinds.
1621
01:05:33,725 --> 01:05:35,730
- Pork rinds?
- Yeah.
1622
01:05:35,730 --> 01:05:37,560
- You're (indistinct) me, Delmar.
1623
01:05:37,560 --> 01:05:40,260
You take care of this bacon,
you take care of them potatoes,
1624
01:05:40,260 --> 01:05:43,260
and as sure as John Wilkes
Booth's career is gonna take off,
1625
01:05:43,260 --> 01:05:46,380
I will come back and we
will do that potato bar.
1626
01:05:46,380 --> 01:05:48,060
- He really is quite the talent, isn't he?
1627
01:05:48,060 --> 01:05:49,481
- Such a superstar.
1628
01:05:49,481 --> 01:05:50,314
- Yeah.
1629
01:05:50,314 --> 01:05:51,720
- I don't agree with his politics.
1630
01:05:51,720 --> 01:05:52,803
- Oh, no one does.
1631
01:05:53,730 --> 01:05:54,790
Now you get off.
1632
01:05:55,740 --> 01:05:56,657
Go on, get.
1633
01:06:04,440 --> 01:06:06,630
- [Narrator] And so in
the unforgiving West,
1634
01:06:06,630 --> 01:06:08,610
a land of mysterious spuds,
1635
01:06:08,610 --> 01:06:11,370
a mocking buffalo beast and cannibals,
1636
01:06:11,370 --> 01:06:13,050
the company pushed forward,
1637
01:06:13,050 --> 01:06:15,840
checking everywhere for signs of Elijah,
1638
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:18,393
Oregon, or an abandoned pork rind.
1639
01:06:23,110 --> 01:06:25,050
- I feel terrible, Cora.
1640
01:06:25,050 --> 01:06:26,280
- Has it finally hit you?
1641
01:06:26,280 --> 01:06:27,690
I have been waiting to give you this
1642
01:06:27,690 --> 01:06:29,133
for just such an occasion.
1643
01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:32,340
Matching sets.
1644
01:06:32,340 --> 01:06:33,480
One of them's full.
1645
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:36,390
- I'm just worried about
going on without Elijah.
1646
01:06:36,390 --> 01:06:37,590
- Oh, Elijah.
1647
01:06:37,590 --> 01:06:40,110
I mean, maybe those outlaws
left him in a ditch.
1648
01:06:40,110 --> 01:06:41,340
But why are you so sad?
1649
01:06:41,340 --> 01:06:44,063
I was the one who was gonna
marry him, and I feel fine.
1650
01:06:48,090 --> 01:06:49,800
- Ooh, I'm stuck.
1651
01:06:49,800 --> 01:06:51,330
I'm quite stuck.
1652
01:06:51,330 --> 01:06:53,160
- I'm coming, Captain.
1653
01:06:53,160 --> 01:06:54,393
Let me help you.
1654
01:06:55,350 --> 01:06:57,350
- Careful, careful, don't get too close.
1655
01:06:58,198 --> 01:07:00,948
(both straining)
1656
01:07:02,730 --> 01:07:03,720
- It's no use.
1657
01:07:03,720 --> 01:07:05,287
- You'll need to take off your boots.
1658
01:07:05,287 --> 01:07:06,360
- According to the devil's contract,
1659
01:07:06,360 --> 01:07:07,890
if I take them off, I'll die.
1660
01:07:07,890 --> 01:07:09,270
- I think you're gonna die, anyway.
1661
01:07:09,270 --> 01:07:11,770
- He looks a lot shorter
than he did a moment ago.
1662
01:07:15,930 --> 01:07:18,420
- Don't you quit on me, man.
1663
01:07:18,420 --> 01:07:20,970
- Quick, did something like
this happen with Davy Crockett?
1664
01:07:20,970 --> 01:07:21,930
- I have no idea.
1665
01:07:21,930 --> 01:07:24,150
- Didn't you accompany
him on his expeditions?
1666
01:07:24,150 --> 01:07:26,733
- Indeed, through the power of literature.
1667
01:07:27,570 --> 01:07:29,310
- Here, take my hat.
1668
01:07:29,310 --> 01:07:30,240
- Oh no, I couldn't.
1669
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:31,440
- I want you to have it.
1670
01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:32,580
- It should sink with you.
1671
01:07:32,580 --> 01:07:34,440
- Just take the man's hat.
1672
01:07:34,440 --> 01:07:35,580
- Okay.
1673
01:07:35,580 --> 01:07:36,413
- Careful now.
1674
01:07:36,413 --> 01:07:37,740
- [Hank] You're not gonna bother.
1675
01:07:39,510 --> 01:07:41,700
- Ooh, last words.
1676
01:07:41,700 --> 01:07:43,320
Let me think, I've given
this a lot of thought,
1677
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:44,280
but it's hard to think of something
1678
01:07:44,280 --> 01:07:45,613
spur of the moment, you know.
1679
01:07:45,613 --> 01:07:48,213
I think I'll just leave you
all with pomp the moose.
1680
01:07:51,153 --> 01:07:52,533
- Pomp the moose?
1681
01:07:56,850 --> 01:07:58,230
- What are we gonna do now?
1682
01:07:58,230 --> 01:08:00,060
- We're nothing without our Captain.
1683
01:08:00,060 --> 01:08:02,910
- We'll never survive the beast now.
1684
01:08:02,910 --> 01:08:05,040
- I forgot all about the beast.
1685
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:06,027
- We need to keep going.
1686
01:08:06,027 --> 01:08:10,710
- I'm not going anywhere
without a guy in a fancy hat.
1687
01:08:10,710 --> 01:08:12,840
- I say we go back to the township
1688
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:14,580
and hold out until spring.
1689
01:08:14,580 --> 01:08:17,130
- We can't go back, that'll take ages.
1690
01:08:17,130 --> 01:08:18,748
Cora can't survive two more tracks.
1691
01:08:18,748 --> 01:08:21,425
- Yeah, but Cora's kind of, eh, anyway.
1692
01:08:21,425 --> 01:08:22,350
- Point taken.
1693
01:08:22,350 --> 01:08:23,280
- Yeah?
1694
01:08:23,280 --> 01:08:25,680
And who's gonna lead us, you?
1695
01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:27,360
A cursed widow?
1696
01:08:27,360 --> 01:08:28,860
- I'm not cursed.
1697
01:08:28,860 --> 01:08:30,720
- Yeah, she just has a thing for weak men
1698
01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:31,980
who are about to die.
1699
01:08:31,980 --> 01:08:33,000
That's normal.
1700
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:33,833
- Okay.
1701
01:08:33,833 --> 01:08:36,120
- I saw her eyein' you, Julian.
1702
01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:36,953
Weak.
1703
01:08:36,953 --> 01:08:38,370
- We need to keep going.
1704
01:08:38,370 --> 01:08:40,083
My children need me.
1705
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:44,213
- Well, y'all are just gonna
have to make it on your own.
1706
01:08:45,343 --> 01:08:48,843
(sad instrumental music)
1707
01:08:54,760 --> 01:08:57,540
I was going to the bathroom.
1708
01:08:57,540 --> 01:08:58,590
- Oh my bad.
1709
01:08:58,590 --> 01:08:59,883
- Yeah, sorry.
1710
01:09:03,740 --> 01:09:06,450
- [Narrator] Aveline pressed
onward with Cora in tow,
1711
01:09:06,450 --> 01:09:09,090
thinking of her family, of Elijah,
1712
01:09:09,090 --> 01:09:11,949
and a goof on an old
timey children's hymn.
1713
01:09:11,949 --> 01:09:15,081
♪ I got the dysentery down in my bowels ♪
1714
01:09:15,081 --> 01:09:15,914
♪ Where ♪
1715
01:09:15,914 --> 01:09:18,401
♪ Down in my bowels today ♪
1716
01:09:18,401 --> 01:09:20,159
♪ And if that chamber pot don't like it ♪
1717
01:09:20,159 --> 01:09:21,759
♪ It can see it on a tack ♪
1718
01:09:21,759 --> 01:09:22,592
♪ Ouch ♪
1719
01:09:22,592 --> 01:09:25,653
♪ Sit on a tack today ♪
1720
01:09:25,653 --> 01:09:28,680
- Angus, what are you doing?
1721
01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:31,410
- I've hit the infamous runner's wall.
1722
01:09:31,410 --> 01:09:32,910
Can't go no further.
1723
01:09:32,910 --> 01:09:34,440
- I believe in you, Angus.
1724
01:09:34,440 --> 01:09:37,113
Come on, give us one of
your famous snot rockets.
1725
01:09:46,786 --> 01:09:50,430
I know solid, liquid, and gas,
but that's a fourth thing.
1726
01:09:50,430 --> 01:09:51,357
- Just leave me here.
1727
01:09:51,357 --> 01:09:54,510
- Now you listen here,
Angus, you're a runner.
1728
01:09:54,510 --> 01:09:57,180
You're gross, your
shorts are way too short.
1729
01:09:57,180 --> 01:10:00,090
You always boast about different
places you've defecated.
1730
01:10:00,090 --> 01:10:01,599
- Without stopping.
1731
01:10:01,599 --> 01:10:03,869
- You see?
- That's disgusting.
1732
01:10:03,869 --> 01:10:06,710
- I suppose I got a little left.
1733
01:10:06,710 --> 01:10:08,430
- Well, up you go, partner.
1734
01:10:08,430 --> 01:10:09,480
You got it buddy.
1735
01:10:09,480 --> 01:10:11,780
- I feel like Cora's
nose, 'cause I'm running.
1736
01:10:13,489 --> 01:10:16,322
(dramatic music)
1737
01:10:18,120 --> 01:10:19,697
May I?
1738
01:10:19,697 --> 01:10:21,630
- Oh, that was not far to go at all.
1739
01:10:21,630 --> 01:10:22,980
- The big baby.
1740
01:10:22,980 --> 01:10:25,050
- Oh, thank you, Angus.
1741
01:10:25,050 --> 01:10:27,600
Your weekly medicine runs
are saving our community.
1742
01:10:29,280 --> 01:10:31,313
- And that's why we do it.
1743
01:10:32,341 --> 01:10:33,924
- Angus, you angel.
1744
01:10:36,120 --> 01:10:37,770
Oh yeah, you lost it.
1745
01:10:37,770 --> 01:10:38,763
That's gross.
1746
01:10:40,260 --> 01:10:42,033
- Can you help me bury somebody?
1747
01:10:44,010 --> 01:10:44,843
- Yeah, okay.
1748
01:10:46,740 --> 01:10:49,920
- [Narrator] After digging a
grave in the frozen tundra,
1749
01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:54,840
Aveline sat to rest, but a
mighty wind began to blow,
1750
01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:58,067
and with it an old familiar voice.
1751
01:10:58,067 --> 01:11:00,200
- [Captain] Aveline.
1752
01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:01,033
Aveline?
1753
01:11:02,250 --> 01:11:03,450
- Captain?
1754
01:11:03,450 --> 01:11:04,320
- It worked.
1755
01:11:04,320 --> 01:11:07,740
I say this celestial
communication is quite astounding.
1756
01:11:07,740 --> 01:11:09,120
- What are you doing up there?
1757
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:11,340
- Oh, I just came to give
you a buoy, you know,
1758
01:11:11,340 --> 01:11:13,350
stiff upper lip and all that and other.
1759
01:11:13,350 --> 01:11:15,240
- No, I mean in heaven.
1760
01:11:15,240 --> 01:11:17,040
Didn't you sell your soul to the devil?
1761
01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:19,110
- Oh well, it turns out
crossing your fingers
1762
01:11:19,110 --> 01:11:21,690
successfully negates
even a devil's bargain.
1763
01:11:21,690 --> 01:11:23,700
Boy, did he get the grumps.
1764
01:11:23,700 --> 01:11:24,533
- Aveline?
1765
01:11:24,533 --> 01:11:25,650
- Henry?
1766
01:11:25,650 --> 01:11:26,880
- Is that my dear wife?
1767
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:28,830
- Oh, sh, shush. This is important.
1768
01:11:28,830 --> 01:11:30,510
Aveline, you mustn't give up.
1769
01:11:30,510 --> 01:11:32,340
- How can I go on?
1770
01:11:32,340 --> 01:11:33,600
The weather is crazy.
1771
01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:36,360
We have no supplies and we
don't even know where to go.
1772
01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:39,330
I can't help but thinking
this is my fault.
1773
01:11:39,330 --> 01:11:40,743
It's the curse.
1774
01:11:41,790 --> 01:11:45,810
- Aveline, let my newly omniscient
wisdom bring you comfort.
1775
01:11:45,810 --> 01:11:47,730
You are probably not cursed.
1776
01:11:47,730 --> 01:11:49,830
You just live in the 1800s.
1777
01:11:49,830 --> 01:11:50,730
- What do you mean?
1778
01:11:50,730 --> 01:11:52,023
- Everybody be dying.
1779
01:11:53,820 --> 01:11:55,650
- Everybody do be dying.
1780
01:11:55,650 --> 01:11:57,930
- You get it. Now take my hat.
1781
01:11:57,930 --> 01:12:00,780
- Captain, please stop
asking me to wear your hat.
1782
01:12:00,780 --> 01:12:01,713
- Just take it.
1783
01:12:02,615 --> 01:12:03,448
- Okay.
1784
01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:06,630
- [Captain] Made quite the liner.
1785
01:12:06,630 --> 01:12:07,560
- A map?
1786
01:12:07,560 --> 01:12:08,850
- [Captain] Apologies for the sweat marks,
1787
01:12:08,850 --> 01:12:10,350
and the little scalp flakies.
1788
01:12:10,350 --> 01:12:11,895
- Thank you.
1789
01:12:11,895 --> 01:12:13,440
- Can I please talk to my wife now?
1790
01:12:13,440 --> 01:12:15,150
- Sorry, I've used up all
the minutes for tonight.
1791
01:12:15,150 --> 01:12:16,653
Goodbye and tally ho!
1792
01:12:18,727 --> 01:12:21,310
(wind blowing)
1793
01:12:24,407 --> 01:12:27,490
(faint organ music)
1794
01:12:32,237 --> 01:12:33,930
- [Narrator] It is been a long December,
1795
01:12:33,930 --> 01:12:35,160
and there's reason to believe
1796
01:12:35,160 --> 01:12:37,623
that next year will be
better than the last.
1797
01:12:38,633 --> 01:12:42,133
(spiritual choral music)
1798
01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:51,210
- Cora, my babies are
just through that pass.
1799
01:12:53,417 --> 01:12:54,742
- So help God.
1800
01:12:54,742 --> 01:12:58,500
(spiritual choral music)
1801
01:12:58,500 --> 01:12:59,500
- Let's finish this.
1802
01:13:01,513 --> 01:13:04,680
(inspirational music)
1803
01:13:12,768 --> 01:13:15,019
(dramatic orchestral music)
1804
01:13:15,019 --> 01:13:16,269
No, no, no, no.
1805
01:13:17,269 --> 01:13:18,102
No.
1806
01:13:21,388 --> 01:13:24,029
Someone help me. Please.
1807
01:13:24,029 --> 01:13:27,696
(ominous orchestral music)
1808
01:13:29,130 --> 01:13:32,073
- You may be cursed Aveline,
but you ain't alone.
1809
01:13:33,570 --> 01:13:34,403
- Hank?
1810
01:13:34,403 --> 01:13:36,270
- Keep it in your bloomers, Aveline.
1811
01:13:36,270 --> 01:13:37,570
- Where'd y'all come from?
1812
01:13:39,360 --> 01:13:42,106
- I had the same question.
1813
01:13:42,106 --> 01:13:45,030
(dramatic orchestral music)
1814
01:13:45,030 --> 01:13:45,863
- Elijah?
1815
01:13:47,130 --> 01:13:48,810
- This could all have been avoided
1816
01:13:48,810 --> 01:13:52,650
if you'd handed over the
money, you overgrown Aphrodite.
1817
01:13:52,650 --> 01:13:55,590
- You held a man hostage over a half cent?
1818
01:13:55,590 --> 01:13:56,850
Are you insane?
1819
01:13:56,850 --> 01:13:58,320
- I am a ma-
1820
01:13:58,320 --> 01:14:00,540
woman of honor.
1821
01:14:00,540 --> 01:14:02,610
I will have payment now
1822
01:14:02,610 --> 01:14:05,013
or you will not leave this pass alive.
1823
01:14:05,948 --> 01:14:08,198
(growling)
1824
01:14:09,720 --> 01:14:10,553
- What's that?
1825
01:14:10,553 --> 01:14:11,616
- The beast.
1826
01:14:11,616 --> 01:14:14,760
(ominous orchestral music)
1827
01:14:14,760 --> 01:14:17,207
It sold its soul to the devil.
1828
01:14:17,207 --> 01:14:18,996
(beast growling)
1829
01:14:18,996 --> 01:14:20,496
- She's beautiful.
1830
01:14:21,764 --> 01:14:25,620
(dramatic orchestral music)
1831
01:14:25,620 --> 01:14:27,510
- I will wait for you in heaven,
1832
01:14:27,510 --> 01:14:30,110
and I know that you'll wait
for me too, blood cough.
1833
01:14:34,337 --> 01:14:35,850
I love you, too.
1834
01:14:35,850 --> 01:14:38,160
I mean, maybe I do, seein's
as were about to die
1835
01:14:38,160 --> 01:14:39,570
seems like a nice thing to say.
1836
01:14:39,570 --> 01:14:42,089
Blood sneeze. (sneezing)
1837
01:14:42,089 --> 01:14:44,130
(beast roaring)
1838
01:14:44,130 --> 01:14:47,466
- Always thought it was the
anthrax that would get me.
1839
01:14:47,466 --> 01:14:49,650
- That's a very avoidable death.
1840
01:14:49,650 --> 01:14:51,300
- So you think.
1841
01:14:51,300 --> 01:14:53,650
- This stump's still got
some fight in her yet.
1842
01:14:54,914 --> 01:14:59,066
(dramatic orchestral music)
1843
01:14:59,066 --> 01:15:01,225
- Here it comes.
1844
01:15:01,225 --> 01:15:02,904
(gun firing)
1845
01:15:02,904 --> 01:15:05,933
(dramatic orchestral and choral music)
1846
01:15:05,933 --> 01:15:08,433
(guns firing)
1847
01:15:10,330 --> 01:15:14,913
(dramatic orchestral and choral music)
1848
01:15:16,872 --> 01:15:19,897
(beast roaring)
1849
01:15:19,897 --> 01:15:22,480
(guns firing)
1850
01:15:25,419 --> 01:15:26,310
- Aveline, use your curse.
1851
01:15:26,310 --> 01:15:27,143
- What?
1852
01:15:27,143 --> 01:15:29,530
- Proclaim your love for the beast.
1853
01:15:29,530 --> 01:15:33,054
- Okay.
1854
01:15:33,054 --> 01:15:34,837
(beast roaring)
1855
01:15:34,837 --> 01:15:38,504
(dramatic orchestral music)
1856
01:15:40,704 --> 01:15:41,787
- I love you.
1857
01:15:43,345 --> 01:15:45,662
(beast roaring)
1858
01:15:45,662 --> 01:15:47,850
(dramatic orchestral and choral music)
1859
01:15:47,850 --> 01:15:49,410
- Fine shot, Clarence.
1860
01:15:49,410 --> 01:15:51,060
- Yes, you mark that one as a birdie.
1861
01:15:51,060 --> 01:15:52,470
- I'm going to mark it as an eagle.
1862
01:15:52,470 --> 01:15:54,693
- What did I say? A buffalo.
1863
01:15:56,490 --> 01:15:57,512
- It worked.
1864
01:15:57,512 --> 01:15:58,390
- I can't believe it.
1865
01:15:58,390 --> 01:16:01,357
- Bless your satanic self, it worked.
1866
01:16:01,357 --> 01:16:06,357
(guns firing)
(party cheering)
1867
01:16:08,379 --> 01:16:12,420
(guns firing)
(all cheering)
1868
01:16:12,420 --> 01:16:13,837
- What is this?
1869
01:16:13,837 --> 01:16:17,504
(dramatic orchestral music)
1870
01:16:18,678 --> 01:16:21,089
(guns firing)
1871
01:16:21,089 --> 01:16:25,813
- Mama.
1872
01:16:25,813 --> 01:16:28,313
(gun firing)
1873
01:16:32,520 --> 01:16:33,810
Who is this?
1874
01:16:33,810 --> 01:16:35,430
- Oh, that's nobody.
1875
01:16:35,430 --> 01:16:38,790
- [Narrator] Aveline and
Cora made it to Oregon.
1876
01:16:38,790 --> 01:16:42,060
Cora confessed to Elijah
that her near buffalo death
1877
01:16:42,060 --> 01:16:45,420
made her want to live untethered
for the rest of her life,
1878
01:16:45,420 --> 01:16:49,710
which according to the doctor
would be a very long time.
1879
01:16:49,710 --> 01:16:50,777
She wrote the bestselling memoir,
1880
01:16:50,777 --> 01:16:53,100
"Girl, Wash Your Hands.
1881
01:16:53,100 --> 01:16:56,970
How I Sur-Thrived Through
a Year of Dysentery."
1882
01:16:56,970 --> 01:17:00,090
Aveline's daughter became a wealthy widow.
1883
01:17:00,090 --> 01:17:03,270
Robert, after regaining her
half cent plus interest,
1884
01:17:03,270 --> 01:17:05,760
was asked to be the new sheriff of Oregon,
1885
01:17:05,760 --> 01:17:07,020
seeing as how the old one died
1886
01:17:07,020 --> 01:17:09,180
in a grizzly shootout
with a humpback outlaw.
1887
01:17:09,180 --> 01:17:11,910
She would go on to become
the Chief of Police,
1888
01:17:11,910 --> 01:17:14,250
and eventually develop
a nationwide service
1889
01:17:14,250 --> 01:17:15,783
known as the IRS.
1890
01:17:17,700 --> 01:17:21,630
Captain Evander Lillian Quist,
rest his devil-duping soul,
1891
01:17:21,630 --> 01:17:25,530
was lauded as a hero, and
met his own hero in return,
1892
01:17:25,530 --> 01:17:27,780
the angel, Davy Crockett.
1893
01:17:27,780 --> 01:17:31,050
Angus founded his own
Oregon-based shoe company,
1894
01:17:31,050 --> 01:17:34,710
coining the slogan,
that's why we just do it.
1895
01:17:34,710 --> 01:17:37,140
This man died in Nebraska.
1896
01:17:37,140 --> 01:17:38,043
You understand.
1897
01:17:39,030 --> 01:17:41,460
After a less than stellar family camp out,
1898
01:17:41,460 --> 01:17:44,130
the Donner family lion changed careers
1899
01:17:44,130 --> 01:17:46,230
and began work at a food factory,
1900
01:17:46,230 --> 01:17:48,720
never to go hungry again.
1901
01:17:48,720 --> 01:17:50,310
After saving everyone,
1902
01:17:50,310 --> 01:17:52,290
Chesterton and Clarence invested
1903
01:17:52,290 --> 01:17:54,270
in a potato-based theme park.
1904
01:17:54,270 --> 01:17:55,290
They lost everything.
1905
01:17:55,290 --> 01:17:57,270
As for Elijah and Aveline?
1906
01:17:57,270 --> 01:17:58,890
Well, they married,
1907
01:17:58,890 --> 01:18:01,260
even though Aveline made
sure never to tell him
1908
01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:03,240
she loved him, just to be safe.
1909
01:18:03,240 --> 01:18:07,980
They had nine children
making 11 total, until-
1910
01:18:07,980 --> 01:18:08,883
- Twins.
1911
01:18:10,500 --> 01:18:11,793
- The devil's number.
1912
01:18:12,706 --> 01:18:16,287
(dramatic orchestral music)
1913
01:18:16,287 --> 01:18:19,037
(both screaming)
1914
01:18:24,897 --> 01:18:28,314
(uptempo western music)
1915
01:21:10,131 --> 01:21:13,760
♪ The journey is long ♪
1916
01:21:13,760 --> 01:21:17,691
♪ And we're all so strong ♪
1917
01:21:17,691 --> 01:21:20,441
♪ If you believe ♪
1918
01:21:23,998 --> 01:21:26,748
(dramatic music)
1919
01:21:40,877 --> 01:21:44,715
♪ Anything ♪
1920
01:21:44,715 --> 01:21:48,744
♪ Anyone ♪
1921
01:21:48,744 --> 01:21:53,549
♪ Anywhere ♪
1922
01:21:53,549 --> 01:21:56,966
♪ As long as you believe ♪
1923
01:21:59,041 --> 01:22:02,124
(soft piano music)
126815
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