All language subtitles for DCs Legends of Tomorrow_S06E09_This is Gus.en.closedcaptions

Ah, there you are.

You good, ancestors?

I don't wanna think about
what Nate and Zari were doing in there

to make you fall off my wrist
in the middle of the night.

[Gideon] Actually, after several rounds of
me kicking your butt in Mortal Kombat,

you complained of your totem being too--

Too tight on my gaming arms.

So I loosened it up a little.

Oh, thank goodness.

That's why you spent the night
underneath the couch.

[scoffs]

[Gideon] Before you go, B,
I have an important message.

It's cool, G.

We can skip my morning horoscope.

Running late for another team meeting,

and misplacing my totem

couldn't be more obvious
that Mercury's in retrograde.

[Gideon] According to the temporal
chronometer, today is your birthday.

Whoa.

I'm a quarter century.

[Gideon] Happy birthday.

[Sara] Okay.

Thanks to Kayla's pod tracker,
we have a new advantage

in preventing displaced aliens
from screwing with the timeline.

-Gideon, can you please run a scan?
-[Gideon] Right away, Co-captain Sharpe.

I'm all in 'cause mind melding
with that giant sandworm

left me with a nasty migraine.

But…

I souped up my pequeño amigo

with a special surprise
for the next space vermin.

-No need for surprises, guys.
-Ah, called it.

Shows up late
wearing the clothes that he slept in,

but still had time for breakfast,

which means I am out of bathroom
cleaning rotation for a month.

-[all groaning]
-Yeah. No, no surprises.

Just slowly losing
all of our free will to Astra.

[Behrad] Oh, good.

'Cause who needs surprises
when smoking a few bowls,

watching your favorite sitcom

on Buzzflix with friends and fam will do.

[Zari] Mmm.

That sounds like a very romantic evening
for you and Nate,

but, oh, yeah, that's right,

we don't know which of our totems
he decided to have a sleepover in.

[Gideon] Pardon me,
but the pod's projected path

is Vancouver, British Columbia, 2023.

All right, everybody.

Put on your toques and Canada goose

because we are going to the third largest
metropolitan area in Canada.

Oh, Raincouver, babe. It was right there.

But it makes sense.

-It's, like, accurate information.
-It's okay.

Oh, Zari, you might just
want to call Nate,

because even in the preventing business,
we could still use all hands on deck.

Got it, girl.

[cell phone ringing]

Dad?

Dad, is that you? Are you okay?

Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

I… I need to see you right now.
Where are you?

Uh, hold on. I keep losing track
of my stupid portal thingy.

I'll grab one.

Not how I thought my day would go,
but it's all good.

Universe has bigger plans.

What's so special about today?

It's a day that only comes around
once a year.

Aw. Cute affirmation.

Anyway, if these bae-cations
between Nate and 1.0

are gonna become the yoozh,
we need to work out a schedule.

I did not sleep a wink this weekend
because I was afraid

he was just gonna sneak attack
and pop out of the totem.

Look, I want Nate back today of all days…

-Hey, Mick.
-[Zari] Hey, Mick.

But we don't know
what's going on in the totem.

What if he's, you know,
in flagrante delicto?

This is what I'm saying.

Do you not care that he's doing
God knows what on your wrist?

[sighs]

[Nate] Really? Come on, guys.

-Oh… This is what I told you.
-No.

What…

Oh. Huh?

-Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh.
-Did you… [exclaims] Yeah, you did.

-Oh, hello. Hi. Rory?
-[Sara] How is she doing?

Great. You should see her.

How long was I in that totem?

[Mick] She's pregnant.

Uh, yeah, Rory, we time jumped to 2023.

Opened a portal to Lita's future.

Lita, honey! It's so good to see you.

You look beautiful. Congratulations.

Thanks, Aunt Ava.

She's pregnant.

It's family reunion time!

Yes, refereed by Auntie Ava.

[Nate] Mick! You're gonna be a grandpappy.

[Nate chuckles]

I can't believe you went
and got yourself knocked up!

Got myself knocked up?

What do you call what you did with Mom
in my high school gym supply closet?

-Conceiving.
-Really?

I haven't seen you in over a year.

You don't answer any of my calls
and that's all you have to say.

What the hell are you talking about?

You know what?
Here I thought the worst had happened

and that my baby
would never get to meet their grandfather,

but it turns out I was only half right
because you're totally fine.

And you're still the same Mick Rory,
a deadbeat.

Uh… [clears throat]

I am not a… I am not a deadbeat!

Come back here, young lady!

Okay, okay, okay.

Maybe let's just try
a little less shouting

and a lot more listening
so that we can figure out

why you disappeared
from your daughter's life, Mick.

I'm not shouting.

[sighs]

Okay, the pod
should make landfall soon. Ish.

[lighter flicking]

Wait.

You guys here for the Bud Stuy taping?

-Here you go.
-What the…

What? Little…

I knew that was Imran Sayed
in the back of that car.

But who is Imran Sayed
and what is Bud Stuy?

Like you didn't already know
it's my favorite sitcom

-created by the Sayed brothers.
-Oh, right.

Gratitude overload.

Faking a mission and pretending
like you forgot today was my birthday

so you could spring
Bud Stuy tickets on me.

Too good. [chuckles]

[mouthing]

Gang.

Thank you for keeping it under wraps.

-It is so hard to pull this stuff off.
-[all chuckling nervously]

-Um, actually…
-Mmm-hmm?

Yeah. It was all Zari's idea.

-The pod tracker doesn't even work.
-[mouthing] I love you.

We love you so much. Happy birthday.

Yeah, so you better
get in there, birthday boy,

before I change my mind.

Come on!

What are we doing?

[sighs] Wait, Spooner, not you. Come on.

Okay. The pod's further out this way.

[upbeat music playing]

What is so special about this show?
It doesn't look popular.

Well, that's because it only lasted
two seasons.

In high school,
Behrad used to stay up all night,

get high, and watch reruns on Buzzflix.

[sighs] Within pot culture,
Bud Stuy had more of a cult following.

Oh. Sounds like a lame cult.

People with low ambition
going nowhere in life.

Take it easy on B.

Wasn't like any of us
were saving the world

when we were in high school.

I mean, technically, I was
becoming a global brand

-and building a Fortune 500 company.
-[sighs]

But it's your birthday,
so who's keeping track?

Figured it was stressful enough
having one global superstar in the fambam.

Bud Stuy's charm was that
it wasn't trying to appeal to everyone,

but it meant a lot to me.

And wait till you see Imran Sayed.

My all-time favorite actor.

[man speaking indistinctly]

Oh! Show's starting. Time to get hyped!

Whoo! [clapping]

Yeah!

The pod should be entering our atmosphere
any minute now.

Speak of the devil.

[announcer] Bud Stuy was filmed
in front of a live studio audience.

-[audience applauding]
-[instrumental music playing]

Bro!

Whoo!

I got a DJ-ing gig.

It's tonight.

Wait. Aren't you supposed to be working
a shift at your parents bakery tonight?

No, no. My days of pimping jalebis

-to hipsters in Bushwick are over.
-To hipsters in Bushwick are over.

I'm not missing out on spinning
at little Joshy Steinberg's bar mitzvah.

Tonight he enters adulthood,

as well as the 36 Chambers
of the Wu-Tang Clan.

They're kids.

Just play something young and pop-y
and dumb like Dragon Girl.

-Rude.
-Damn.

How are you gonna tell your parents
you're skipping work?

Oh, I'm gonna honestly explain
that I'm pursuing my passion.

I have a dream.
It's up to me to follow it.

And then I'm gonna get smacked.

-[Sara] What do you think you're doing?
-Preventing.

Damn.

Sleeping gummies, reading gummies,
naughty gummies.

[Faiz] You're really gonna get high

to tell your parents you're quitting
the family business to pursue DJ-ing?

Bismillah!

[laughs]

How else would I get through

such a deep, meaningful conversation?

[laughs]

Life's a trip… if you got the right
accoutrement for the ride.

[laughs]

[Faiz] This sounds like a terrible ride.

This show is too niche.
We need something to make it a mass hit.

[crashing, electricity crackling]

Finally, something interesting
happens on the show.

This is not supposed to happen.

[audience] Aw!

[alien cooing]

[both] Uh…

Am I tripping or did my personal stash
get mixed up with the prop stash again?

[coos]

That was a classic!

[audience laughing]

And cut.

[bell rings]

[audience applauding]

So, this surprise
is really starting to give off

"an improvised lie that backfired" vibe.

-Listen--
-It's cool.

Little trope-y but…

I guess we're doing a sitcom mission.

[alien cooing]

[Zari] Hey, little guy.

Yeah, yeah, you.
You know, the camera loves you.

Just come on over.

[Behrad] Come here, little guy.

You're ruining
one of my favorite episodes.

[Imran] Look, Kam, I know we've had
our creative disagreements,

but crashing the taping
with an animatronic alien?

[Kam] Right.

[distorted] Hey, buddy.

Come here.

Wow.

Look at him. He's so cute.

[squealing agitatedly]

It's okay, buddy. It's okay.

[cooing]

There you go.

Well, this animatronic alien is adorable,
and the audience ate it up.

So if we're ever going to be more
than a cult show,

we need a gag
that's a little less foreign.

"Less foreign"?
It's a freakin' alien, man.

I want broader appeal.

You want less Muslim?

You don't know what religion the alien is.

This thing is freaking me out.

The puppeteer is going really method
because this thing is way too life-like.

Remember how we got here?

I was your first audience,

the one who encouraged you
and drove you to all your stand-up gigs.

Have I ever steered you wrong before?

Can we at least reshoot the ending?

Help get some VFX money,

make that crash look
a little more convincing.

We'll fix it in post.

Aw!

That thing's adorable. See, Spooner?

Uh, I think I'm going to need
a smaller gun.

Hey! What are you still doing here?
Come on.

Oh, we're just…

Hi, there, buddy. How's it going?

Ow!

You're no animatronic.

Okay, Micky, I get that
Lita's pregnancy's unexpected.

You know, it feels like only yesterday
that we were watching her grow up.

But if I have learned anything
co-captaining the team on this ship,

it's that being a parent
is really just about being cool

when things aren't really that cool, yeah?

-Okay, where we at with listening, Mick?
-[Mick grunts]

Captain Sharpe, you want another try at
a sassy send-off attempt for the record?

-No.
-Ooh. Why are we power walking?

Oh, look, she's studying.
It's excellent, right?

Mmm. Hi, Lita, honey.

See, she's still in school.
That's great, right, Mick?

Yeah. I have a big test coming up

in my intersectionality
and feminist activism class.

It's where I met Niko.

[gasps]

You got knocked up by some creep
taking a class for women?

Let's see what else you've missed.

I'm vegan.

I'm over my Sabbath phase,
more into Fiona Apple,

and I'm donating all the money
you left me in the shed

-to AOC's future presidential run.
-[Agent Sharpe] Wow.

Is there anything else
you want to judge me for?

You know what? Why don't you tell us
how you and Niko plan to raise the baby?

We're co-habitating.

The institution of marriage
is too inherently patriarchal.

Stupid swollen fingers.

Here.

No, I got it.

You know, Gideon could have
made you something.

Yeah, well, I don't have Gideon at school
just to make my life easier.

And, usually, Niko helps me
with this stuff.

[sighs]

Okay.

I am rational enough to accept defeat,

hangry enough to accept your help.

You know, uh, some jars are like
old stubborn bastards.

They eventually open up.

[straining]

[sighs]

Tell me about Niko.

[sighs] Would it have killed Kamran
to lock his office door

so the baby alien didn't escape?

[Nate] I can't believe you cut
my sexy totem time short for this.

Oh, by the way, she'd kill me if I forgot.
She said, "Hey."

Hmm. That's sweet.

Hey, girl.

What does she do in the totem
for, like, you know, self-care?

Mostly be at peace.

School the ancestors in poker,

but mainly, she'd want to talk about B.

Really?

Yeah. She'd want to know
his current hair length,

is he dating, did he beat
any of her high scores.

And, for whatever reason,

she asked me to keep an eye on him tonight

to make sure he didn't party too hard…

Oh…

I just got it.

Of course, even though
she's stuck in mystical limbo,

she didn't forget his birthday.

[camera shutter clicks]

There. You happy?

Yeah. Maybe one with the both of us?

I can snap it.

-Long arms.
-Behrad.

Let's go.

You know, by catching this alien,

we're actually preventing capitalism
from creating another monster?

Yeah, a monster hit.

You sound like Zari.

Don't tell me you think
the baby alien's cute too?

No, I don't think it's cute,
but there is no accounting mass taste.

Well, no disrespect to the past six years,
but this is the biggest mission ever.

I'm not gonna let this alien
ruin my favorite show.

Don't be so dramatic.

All I'm saying is,
your sister's got a point.

If it doesn't make money,
it doesn't make sense.

[thumping]

You the new PA?

Yeah.

Good, because all we have around here
are those little coffee pods,

and we can't do that to Mother Earth.

Totally.

Appeareat coffea.

Well, don't be shy. Get in there.

Maybe your hero knows
where his brother hid that thing.

Astra Logue, Labor Relations.

Don't mind me.
I am just here to observe your… labor.

What if the baby alien
is in, like, Alien WITSEC?

Hiding out on earth from the big bad
that destroyed his home planet?

Sounds like a season
of backstory in mythology.

[female writer] Just to pitch it,

the baby alien was sent to Earth
on a rumspringa,

and is just trying to find
the perfect party pad.

That's just what we need.

More aliens on the show.

I don't know if caffeine
is so good for the process,

but we could get you something groovier
to help get the creative juices flowing.

This guy knows what's up.

-[Astra clears throat]
-Oh, uh, bro, Labor Relations.

Mr. Sayed, where did your brother
stash the baby alien?

You mean that stupid puppet? I don't know.

Then we're done here. [snaps fingers]

-[Sara] Any luck?
-Negative.

But I did get a peek behind the curtain
in the writer's room.

Trust me,

you do not wanna know
how the sausage gets made.

[alien cooing]

[Sara] Oh, good.

I think we found it.

Meet us by the stages.

Oh, hey, little guy.

Hey, I can promise you,
alien hybrid to alien,

bananas, they're overrated.

Everything bagels.

This is where it's at.

[sniffs] Mmm!

Yeah, you wanna try it?

Come on.

There you go.

Yeah, I know.

[sighs]

Let's get out of here.

[whimpering]

-[shrieks]
-[high-pitched tone]

Astra.

I don't think he likes that.

[shrieking]

[high-pitched shrieking]

[Sara] Oh!

[shrieking stops]

[groans]

[high-pitched tone subsides]

Ah.

There you are.

[alien coos]

[clears throat]

I'm gonna talk to props
about leaving things lying around.

Somebody could get hurt.

[all] What?

[Sara] All right. Rise and shine,
everyone. We need a new strategy.

Where is Behrad?

Late again.

Let's sweeten the pot on the earlier bet.

If he doesn't show
in the next five minutes,

loser becomes my personal Fluff and Fold.

[Behrad] Relax, relax.

I'm right here.

Is that my brother?

[Nate] That's my pomade.

I'd know that sheen anywhere.

Communal bathroom.
Thought it was up for grabs,

and I just felt like shaking things up.

I knew you had leading man hair in you.

All Tarazis have the gene.

Okay, let's just show Gary the--

Wow, it really is mesmerizing.

Thank you.

[Gary] Oh!

A gusarax.

Baby Gus-Gus. It's got a nice ring to it.

You're coining merchandisable
nicknames now?

Why was Imran's brother able to grab Gus
without causing a Category Five tantrum?

Well, gusaraxes are bonded
to their parents

during the developmental phase.

So if Gus-Gus…
is bonded to Imran's brother,

you'll have to get him
to bond with one of you,

[chuckles] but good luck with that.

They're attached
to their parents at the hip,

because that is where the teat is.

Oh, don't say "teat."

[Gideon] Captain Lance, I've detected that
a new Bud Stuy draft

has been submitted to the studio.

Episode titled "First Contact High."

New cup?

Hmm. Weird.

Wharton is the business school
my mum and Aunt Bubba think I attend.

[Zari chuckles]

[coughs]

"Wharton is the business school
my mum and Aunt Bubba think I attend"?

What's happening to me?

I think the change in your favorite show
is having an effect on you.

He's better groomed, better caffeinated.

I'd say Behrad got a free upgrade.

No. No, no, no. This is not good.

The butterfly effect from one small change
in the timeline is too unpredictable.

That's how we lost Zari 1.0.

Okay, they're looking for
the role of nosy landlord.

It's obviously me. I'm the trained actor.

I'm just going to be
a nosy, glamorous landlord,

but, Nate, come with, run lines.

All right, let's get you
ready for that close-up.

Okay, great.

Zari, once you book the part,
you'll be in position to separate Gus-Gus

from Imran's brother and bond with him.

Astra and B,

make sure that this new script
doesn't make it to air.

We have to ensure that Imran stays
the star so that Behrad can stay himself.

[indistinct chatter]

What do you mean
I'm not a right fit for the role?

You don't seem super great at your job.

The writers had
a very specific vision in mind.

Someone who fits
the new direction of the show.

-Oh, did they?
-Hey, Z.

The sign by the complimentary mints
said "only take one,"

so keep this on the DL.

Nathaniel Heywood.
Don't need to lie about my height.

I am 6'2".

Currently living? Here and there.

I travel a lot for work.

Is this for the CW?

[Zari] So much for Plan Z.
But Nate's getting his big break.

Finally, a win for straight white men.

If I was rebooting a show
with a flop first season, he'd be my pick.

[shudders] Who says stuff like that?

I don't want to become
some materialistic jerk with a Roth IRA,

driving a car that burns gas
and pounding red-eyes.

If this show is going off the rails,

you need to talk to the person
at the top of the food chain.

[sighs]

"Faiz, it's the nosy landlord.
Hide all the bongs.

And the baby alien."

[sighs]

As your boss, I got to tell you,
I'm good on the pharmaceuticals, bro.

-At least until this makeup sets.
-You can't sell out, man.

Growing up, my mom and dad looked at me
and saw a future business school graduate.

The world saw a weird Muslim kid
they couldn't bother to figure out.

But seeing you on TV, Imran,
was the first time I saw me.

[sighs]

That's great.

But I got to do what my brother tells me.

No, you don't.

Dude.

I flipped burgers, spun signs.

But the gig I have now,
it's the sweetest gig ever.

I just had to let you know.
I wouldn't have ended up here

if I hadn't seen you
on Bud Stuy so carefree.

It's like you gave me permission
to leave home

and go on
the craziest adventure of my life.

Please, don't change your show.

It's perfect the way it is.

You must really love being a PA.

Like, a lot.

Come on.

[Kam] Imran.

The studio loves
the baby alien in the new draft,

and you're gonna love the casting
for the nosy landlord.

Kam, this isn't working out.

I promise, the new guy pops.

This show was supposed to be
about the things that make us laugh.

My life.

I know it's not for everyone,
but to the people who get it,

it's life changing.

You really not believe in that anymore?

What about the people who pay us
to make a hit?

The studio's threatening to cancel us.

[exclaims]

[all laughing]

Yeah, well, I'd rather have one person

laughing in the audience
than be a complete sellout.

-Don't do this.
-I quit.

[grunts in frustration]

[sighs]

You okay?

Oh, yeah. I'm just trying to wrap
Behrad's birthday gifts.

You know, the edges have to be perfect
or the whole presentation is thrown off,

that's all.

I'm so sorry, honey. [chuckles softly]
Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm just looking for my dad.
I should head out soon.

So I take it
you two buried the hatchet, then?

Well, you know Mick. Runs a little hot,
but he cools down eventually.

Oh, really?

Yeah. He's even asking
all these questions about Niko.

Like, where he grew up
and his class schedule and--

He's really interested
in his cross-country training.

Even down to the hours and the routes.

Niko wants to compete in the Olympics.

[Agent Sharpe] Aw. See,
I knew he'd come around.

So, should we start
planning a baby shower, then?

Or a funeral.

Take it from a trained assassin.

You want to murder somebody
without a trace?

You gather as much intel as possible.

Lita, your dad
is gonna kill your boyfriend.

[watch beeping]

[weapon powering up]

What do you mean,
"Mr. Sayed's booked for the day"?

-Un-book him.
-And make it quick,

because she's the nice one.

-You don't want to upset me.
-It's true.

[mouthing] Okay.

[Zari] Good girl.

[sighs] Where's Behrad?

Relax. He's just pulling himself together
after Imran quit.

-The timeline hasn't changed that fast.
-[Zari] Hmm.

[hip-hop music playing]

♪ For real ♪

♪ Just let that money talk ♪

♪ Take it to the head ♪

[Behrad] My parking needs validating.

I didn't know you had it in you.

Try to keep up.

♪ I just let that money talk ♪

[Zari] Wow, that is…

Kidding me?

Possibilities are endless.

Let me call you back. Excuse me.
Can I help you?

You're gonna want to try, Kam.
We're members of the puppeteers union.

Yeah. We're gonna need to see proof

that you're using union-certified
puppeteers to operate the baby alien.

I mean, unless you have something to hide.

Okay, it's not a puppet.

I swear I was just waiting
to get publicity all lined up

before I broke the news.

The world's first alien TV star's
a gold mine.

You're just willing to stab your brother
in the back for success?

Well, he does have a point.

Gus-Gus is a vertical integration vehicle.

I'm talking dolls, branding deals.

You can build an entire universe
out of this little guy.

-The synergy's all there.
-I like the way you think.

And we are leaving.

Thank you so much for your time.

[cell phone ringing]

What the hell was that?

You want to make something of your life?
Takes a little ambition.

Speak.

Uh… I ca… [sighs]

[portal whooshing]

Come on, Niko. Pick up.

[panting]

Oh, my God, Lita. Look.

Rory's strangling him.

Wait, are they hugging?

Huh.

I really want to thank you for looking
after my daughter while I was…

away.

[Lita] Dad.

I thought you were gonna kill him.

I was.

-Dad!
-No, no. It's okay. We talked it out.

Mr. Rory came around to
seeing how bad it would look

if the author of Post Feminism Empowerment

killed his daughter's boyfriend.

Oh, really?

I want my grandchild
to have something I didn't.

Two loving parents.

You see? You never told me
your dad was this cool.

He totally understands
how we got caught up in the moment.

Said the same thing
happened to him and Kayla.

You mean, you and Mom.

Wait. You and Kayla?

[Mick sniffles]

Are you okay?

Are you crying?

-[Mick] No.
-[Niko] It's okay, Mr. Rory.

Let those toxic man tears flow.

Rest in peace, Kayla.

Um… Okay. I'll see you later.

I'm just gonna make sure
he gets home okay.

He's been acting really strange lately.

Yeah, real strange.

[valet] Your key, sir.

[Zari] Behrad, wait.

We're trying to get the timeline
back on track, remember?

-Who's this tool?
-What?

Hand over the keys.
Unless you want to take a ride, babe.

If you call me "babe" one more time…

Okay, that's enough.
You need to come with us.

-Come on.
-That's a lawsuit, bro.

Sure you can afford that?

Where's your totem?

Totem? It's a Rollie.

Nate.

What happened? Where'd it go?

When he joined the team,
he stole the totem from home.

If he never did that, then…

You're coming with us.

My girlfriend's in that totem, you tool.

Who lives in this dump?

It's kind of hard to explain,

but I need you to chill
while I go take care of something.

[Behrad] Chill? I don't chill.

I got money moves to make.

"Money moves"?

Is that why you sabotaged
the meeting with Kamran?

You're not the only one
who understands mass appeal.

Gus-Gus is going to be a global superstar.

I'm bringing Bud Stuy
to a whole new audience.

Jealous?

No. Because the Behrad I know
isn't some calculating business bro.

Yeah, well,
maybe you don't know me at all.

Zari, what's going on?

[Zari] I'm sorry, Behrad.

You can't leave me in here, Zari.

I'm not leaving you. I'm fixing this.

[Nate] It's going to be all right.

Is it?

At least when your Zari lost Behrad,
it wasn't her fault.

Enough with the "your Zari" stuff.
You're my Zari, too.

No, Nate. Your Zari is gone.

And without the totem,

so is everything
she sacrificed her life for,

a decision I doubt she would have made

if she knew she was being replaced
by a version of her who…

Who didn't realize how a sitcom
literally changed her brother's life.

Z, we all messed up.
But we gotta get moving.

When this timeline catches up to Behrad,

there's no telling
who we're going to be without him.

[Lita] So, when were you gonna
tell me about Kayla?

Sounds like you really cared about her.

And do not leave out any details.

Like, um, when you got caught up
in the moment…

Cover your ears, Lita.
…were there any, uh,

tentacles involved?

[Lita] Whoa!

You dated an alien?

We didn't date. We, uh-- We almost died.

But then we, uh-- Then I--

Gross, Dad.

So there were tentacles involved?

Yeah, lots. It was mind-blowing.

You jealous? Now get out of here.

I want to spend some more time
with my daughter.

Kamran.

Oh, now what?

Listen, I know you worked your ass off
for this moment,

and our hard work is rarely celebrated.
So I get how badly you want to be seen.

But you know this isn't right.

Have you ever seen the show?

My brother wasn't exactly making
television that we could be proud of.

You know what? He doesn't have to be
a torchbearer for all of us.

That expectation is honestly unrealistic
and, frankly, annoying.

Your brother inspired people

not by trying to inspire people,
but just by being himself.

Well, then, too bad that he quit.

And that's how you wanna leave things?

Don't let this be the fight
that changes things between you.

Because once that happens,

-you could lose him forever.
-[bell rings]

Which diaper do you want to go with
for the baby alien?

[woman] Picture's up.

Two. I like the extra cushion.

Look, picture's up. Like, right now.
There's nothing I can do.

[Astra] Instead of lighting up
in the dark all alone,

you need to get your ass in there
and take back your show.

You know, you're really
pushy for Labor Relations.

You can't make me go back.

[groans]

[announcer] Bud Stuy was filmed
in front of a live studio audience.

[audience applauding]

[knock at door]

Oh, no. It's the nosy landlord.

I have to hide the bong
and the baby alien.

[laughing]

[Gus-Gus coos]

[Faiz] Sorry, buddy.

I didn't know it was inspection day.

[laughing]

[whispers] "That's why it's called
a surprise inspection."

That's why it's called
a surprise inspection.

I'm Nick Hunter.

Intergalactic alien law enforcer.

What the hell is the nosy landlord doing?

No…

You're the nosy landlord.

It's called a plot twist, amateur.

Now, where's Gus-Gus?

-Ah-ha!
-[coos]

[man yells]

[woman screams]

[Gus-Gus cooing]

Set this bad boy to stun.

[audience murmuring]

[security guard] Hey, hey!

And this won't hurt a bit.

-[chomps]
-Ow! [exclaims]

[coos]

[brakes screeching]

[woman gasps]

[Gus-Gus shrieks]

[all exclaiming]

[cooing]

Caught you, you little finger biter.

[whimpering]

No, no, no. Don't cry. Don't cry.
This is not a problem.

[Gus-Gus shrieking]

-[cooing]
-[Nate shushes]

Good.

You beautiful alien baby.

[audience] Aw.

Faiz, what did I tell you
about having the right accoutrement?

[audience laughing]

Take a couple of these for the road,
nosy landlord.

Have a nice trip, Gus-Gus.

[laughing]

[mouthing]

I'm just glad things are back
to normal around here.

[applause]

[laughing]

It looks like the audience hated it.

But that's why I believed in you
in the first place.

[both laughing]

[all mouthing] Surprise!

You guys!

Shh!

-[mouthing] Shut up!
-[Gus-Gus snoring]

Shh.

[whispering] Happy birthday.

Thanks.

[Zari] My first time using a cell phone
was the day Behrad was born.

I was trying to take a selfie,
but my annoying baby brother photobombed.

Every Eid, he wanted to be in the kitchen.

And he wasn't just sneaking
Mâmân's fesenjoon.

He was learning.

[imperceptible]

No wonder he cooks the best team dinners.

He's on his own weird
and special wavelength.

I love him just the way he is.

He is priceless.

And somehow I forget
that someone really amazing

gave up everything for him to be here.

For me,
Behrad's birthday became a reminder

of everything he missed out on.

It makes me happy to see
he's had a chance to really live.

Well, you know,
we're throwing a party for him right now,

and you should really get going
before all the cake is gone.

I know how you love cake.

What about the timeline?

Well, I heard that finding loopholes
is kind of your thing.

So I had a chat with the ancestors.

Turns out two Air Totems have
never existed at the same time before.

They think if only one of us is out
at a time, Behrad should be safe.

I say we try it out for a few weeks.

What are you waiting for?

Behrad's probably looking for someone
to take shrooms with as we speak.

Oh… You know how to imitate
Mâmân's disapproving death stare, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Good.

Thank you.

Look at this guy. Look at him.

[upbeat music playing]

I heard you committed grand theft auto.

Yeah.

Did all that for little ol' me?

I did it for everyone.

We couldn't breathe
around the douchier you.

Too much cologne.

Is that sandalwood and frankincense?

I like sandalwood and frankincense.

All right.

My little brother is all grown up.

[coughs, exclaiming]

[chuckles] Happy birthday.

No.

So Ava Lance is engaged. Congrats.

Sara has a new set
of healing powers. Sweet.

Gary's been an alien this whole time.
Not at all surprising.

Lita's expecting. Oh, and a baby alien
imprinted on my boyfriend.

Cool, cool, cool.

Hmm. Well, guess I can count on you
to never change, Mick.

Cheers.

-[bottle smashes]
-Whoa!

The hell are you doing?

When you and Kayla got caught up
in the moment,

her tentacle entered your ear canal
and she laid eggs in your head,

and now you're growing a brood…

pouch.

[Gus-Gus coos and laughs]

So you're saying my dad is…

Pregnant?

Yep.

[canned laughter]

[all] Gideon.

[Gideon] Sorry, I can't help it.
This is the laugh I was programmed with.

Wow.

That I did not see coming.