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{\an2}This programme containsstrong language and adult humour
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{\an2}Oh. Whoo!
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{\an1}SCREAMING
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{\an2}You're useless at this.
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{\an1}SCREAMING
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{\an2}Parp. Boop. Argh!
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{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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{\an2}Hello! Welcome to Taskmaster,the answer to the question
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{\an2}where can I see an overweightbut dashing man
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{\an2}get a feckless weaselwith a wonky tooth
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{\an2}to torture his peer groupfor pointless tasks?
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{\an2}Channel Four, that's where, silly!Let's meet them now.
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{\an2}They are Andy Zaltzman,
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{\an2}Babatunde Aleshe,
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{\an2}Emma Sidi,
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{\an2}Jack Dee,
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{\an2}and Rosie Jones.
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{\an2}And next to me,a man who says that he loves
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{\an2}to holiday in Wales becauseit's so beautiful,
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{\an2}but longs for the day when itspeople are driven into the sea.
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{\an2}It's little Alex Horne.
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{\an2}Hello, Greg. Hello, there.
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{\an2}Hello. I've got you a present.Thank you.
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{\an2}Do you like cars? Do I?
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{\an2}Yeah, do you? Yes. Good.
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{\an2}Ooh, do you like Greg Davies?Hoo-hoo!
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{\an2}Can barely stop looking inthe mirror.
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{\an2}Well, I think you'll like genuinepersonalised number plates.
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{\an2}Yeah? Back and front,back and front.
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{\an2}It's a personalised number platefor Greg Davies.
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{\an2}Does it say Gary Davies?
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{\an2}Yeah, I got muddled.
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{\an2}Let's crack on.What's the prize task today?
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{\an2}This time they've brought in thething most likely to make you say...
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{\an2}Oh, Christ! Now that is bad ass.
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{\an2}Yes, sure, we've allprobably said bad ass,
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{\an2}and, sure, we've all probablyhad bad ass,
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{\an2}but Greg wants to seesomething
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{\an2}that makes him say it likehe means it,
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{\an2}and that will result in fivereally, really big points.
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{\an2}You, Emma Sidi. Yeah.
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{\an2}How are you gonna make mesay now that is bad ass?
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{\an2}This is something that I own.
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{\an2}It's very precious to me,and I think it speaks for itself.
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{\an2}React to this, Greg. OK.
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{\an2}I know what I've gotto say if it does... Hmm.
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{\an2}..elicit the response. Here we go.
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{\an2}Nothing.
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{\an2}Now that is bad ass.
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{\an2}I hate it. Cool.
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{\an2}I find it religiously insensitive.Yes.
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{\an2}I don't. I think God and Jesuswould love that.
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{\an2}God and Jesus. God and Jesus!
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{\an2}Well, and the spirit as well.The three...
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{\an2}I don't think any ofthe big three would like that.
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{\an2}Whatever. Whatever.I think it's horrible.
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{\an2}Yeah. You should beashamed of yourself.
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{\an2}Baba. Yo.
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{\an2}Are you gonna make me saywow, this is bad ass?
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{\an2}I 100% will. How's yourfootwear nowadays, bro?
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{\an2}You got your sock gameon lock, I won't lie.
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{\an2}Yeah. I got something that...Better than these shoes?
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{\an2}100% way better than your shoes.
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{\an2}Show them what I got him.
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{\an2}He's gonna get you theseshoes, Greg.
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{\an2}All right. Nike Air Force One.
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{\an2}Let me tell you something, yeah,so now when you come to like
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{\an2}the ends, right, you wear whiteAir Forces.
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{\an2}When I come to the... The ends.The ends? The ends, bro.
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{\an2}Watch Top Boy, bruv. OK.
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{\an2}There's a lot of work for me to dobefore I can say these are bad ass.
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{\an2}Everyone's gonna say it for you.
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{\an2}All you need to do is just rock upwith a pair of white Air Forces,
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{\an2}but this is the thing, you can'tjust rock up with
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{\an2}a pair of Air Forces, right.
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{\an2}You've gotta laugh,but the laugh has to be smooth.
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{\an2}You've gotta be like... Ha-ha-ha-ha!
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{\an2}What situations am I gonna dothis in, Baba?
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{\an2}Well, I'm just tryingto inject some youth into you.
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{\an2}You're the one that's turned, like,what did you say,
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{\an2}like 75 or something?Feels like that. Feels like it.
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{\an2}But I don't know whetherI'm gonna feel more youthful
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{\an2}if I go into any situation andgo ah-ha-ha-ha
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{\an2}with a pair of white trainers.
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{\an2}I'm not gonna lie, that laugh wasgood though. Yeah?
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{\an2}You know, you know,like it felt good.
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{\an2}Hello, Rosie. Hiya.What have you brought in?
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{\an2}So I've brought in something,
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{\an2}and then I've also brought ina promise.
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{\an2}Hmm. Ooh.AUDIENCE: Oooh!
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{\an2}Let's dance.
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{\an2}Well, there's nothing more bad ass
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{\an2}than a tattoo.
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{\an2}I've got two. One, two.
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{\an2}And I've got a third one ... here.
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{\an2}Announcing you've murdered someone.Wow. That's quite bad ass.
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{\an2}So the promise is
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{\an2}if you don'taward me quite highly...
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{\an2}Yeah. ..I'll do it again.
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{\an2}Good. Thank you, Rosie.
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{\an2}Jack. Yeah.Are you bad ass?
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{\an2}I'm popular in the worldof hip-hop and rap.
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{\an2}And so I borrowed something froma rapper friend of mine,
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{\an2}and he sent me one of his outfits,and he's pretty famous as well
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{\an2}so I, you know...You'd rather not. No, he's,
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{\an2}I'll give you the name,he's called TK Maxx.
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{\an2}I know that guy. Yeah.
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{\an2}And he just said, "Whateveryou need I'm sending it to you."
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{\an2}Greg, is this bad ass?
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{\an2}Er...no.
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{\an2}That would be the outfitI would wear
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{\an2}if I was unloadingan angel from the back of a van.
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{\an2}Anyway, it's your choice.
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{\an2}I've made my choice.
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{\an2}It is not bad ass. Yeah.
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{\an2}Only Andy Zaltzman can save us.
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{\an2}Those are dangerous words, Greg.
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{\an2}Well, I thought, you know, whatwould make you say bad ass,
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{\an2}so I made you a work of art.
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{\an2}Let's reveal Andy'swork of art. Here we go.
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{\an2}Now that is a bad ass.
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{\an2}Also, I mean let's look atthe quality of the painting.
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{\an2}Let's. That's bad, isn't it?Oh, it's just bad.
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{\an2}That's... It's a bad ass.Yeah.
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{\an2}And it's bad ass. Yes.
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{\an2}See, Emma, how this works?
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{\an2}Go back and see that cherubcos after all this
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{\an2}you're gonna be like"Well, my god."
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{\an2}Stick the cherub back up for us.OK, here is the bad ass cherub.
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{\an2}Yeah.
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{\an2}Shit.
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{\an2}Which one would make yousay bad ass least?
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{\an2}It's between Jack's awfulmoving outfit
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{\an2}and Emma's bad ass angel.
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{\an2}Shall I be really niceand give them both two?
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{\an2}Pair of trainers as well inthat mix?
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{\an2}Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.Let him make his decision.
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{\an2}Oh, no, he's right though.No, he's not right.
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{\an2}He is right.What're you doing?
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{\an2}Well picked up on. I'll givetwo points to all of those people
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{\an2}and then we'll jump up. I thinkwe've got to reward Zaltzman.
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{\an2}He created the correct assfor the situation.
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{\an2}I'm gonna give him five points,and I'll give this murderer four.
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{\an2}Five, four, two, two, two.Well done.
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{\an2}Right, let's get going.
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{\an2}OK, let's take things tothe next level.
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{\an2}Hi, Alex. Andy.
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{\an2}Gold this time. It's nice,nice little touch.
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{\an2}Ooh.
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{\an2}Can I open this?It's a task probably.
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{\an2}Here we go. That's what we want.
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{\an2}Not that gold shit.
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{\an2}Push the...push the envelopethe furthest.
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{\an2}You have half an hour.
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{\an2}Your time starts now.
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{\an2}I could say some outrageous things.
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{\an2}See if that pushes the envelope.Get myself cancelled.
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{\an2}Is it a phrase?
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{\an2}Is it rude?
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{\an2}Like pushing the envelope?
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{\an2}What do you use this pillow for,what's this supposed to do?
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{\an2}Present my nuts on it to my wife.
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{\an2}Have you ever pushedthe envelope before?
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{\an2}Yeah. What did you do?
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{\an2}I dressed as Spongebob Squarepantsto a fancy dress party.
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{\an2}And everyone was like,"We don't do that in Guildford."
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{\an2}And I was like, "I do."
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{\an2}Do that when I come intothe room,
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{\an2}like, "Hey! Happy Valentines!"
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{\an2}Right, I'm gonna take the envelope.
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{\an2}Excuse me.
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{\an2}Right, that's better. OK.See you in half an hour or so.
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{\an2}Surprisingly heavily sexual fromthree out of five of you.
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{\an2}You were asked to push the envelope,and within seconds
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{\an2}Jones had compared it to a vagina,I presume.
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{\an2}Of course.
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{\an2}I haven't heard of the phrasepush the envelope, ever.
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{\an2}It... It could be rude.
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{\an2}What you're saying is if you don'tunderstand any phrase
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{\an2}in the English language,you assume it's sexual.
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{\an2}Yeah. Right, fine.
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{\an2}So if like some people havewalked past you and said,
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{\an2}"Oh, a rolling stone gathersno moss,"
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{\an2}and you've gone, "Tell me about it."Ooh!
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{\an2}Shall we crack on?I think we should.
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{\an2}We're gonna begin by watching Emmaand Rosie push their envelopes.
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{\an2}Oh, god.
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{\an2}I'm gonna push the envelope
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{\an2}within myself.
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{\an2}You're gonna push the envelopewithin yourself.
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{\an2}What does that mean?I'm gonna eat the envelope.
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{\an2}I am gonna push theenvelope the furthest.
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{\an2}Here I go.
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{\an2}Maybe I can getmy own cooking show.
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{\an2}Nigella meets Rymans.
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{\an2}Lovely.
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{\an2}Little bit of garlic.
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{\an2}Oof, missed it briefly.
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{\an2}Right, there you go.
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{\an2}To Greg, Taskmaster. Love hearts.
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{\an2}And there's actuallya letter inside, but it's private.
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{\an2}There you go, mate. Pushed it.
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{\an2}Chin chin, bottoms up.
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{\an2}Chewy.
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{\an2}That must have driven you overthe edge, didn't it? The smoothie?
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{\an2}Well, I just hope you give herenough shit for being
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{\an2}a smoothie girl as well.
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{\an2}She's revealed her true coloursthere. She loves a smoothie.
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{\an2}Glugged it down, didn't you?
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{\an2}I was all willingto just eat the paper.
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{\an2}Yeah, they made you turn itinto a smoothie. Yeah.
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{\an2}For your own safety. Yes.Yeah.
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{\an2}And we should, we still need to sayyou shouldn't eat an envelope,
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{\an2}you also shouldn't drinkan envelope. Yeah.
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{\an2}You did chug it down,is that pushing the envelope?
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{\an2}I was pushing the envelope
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{\an2}by pushing the envelope
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{\an2}down my gullet.
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{\an2}And, ultimately, out of your bot-bot.
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{\an2}Yeah, yeah.
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{\an2}You know what?
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{\an2}It was still a bit gold.
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{\an2}Emma, I will say I thoughtyou did great cartwheels.
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{\an2}Thank you. And you could stillbe in the game
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{\an2}cos I haven't read your letter yet.
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{\an2}Oh, my god. Letter.
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{\an2}I don't know what I said.
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{\an2}No-one knows what you saidbecause you said it was private.
229
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,800
{\an2}Oh, no.
230
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,920
{\an2}I think I was having a weird week.
231
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,000
{\an2}Ah. Well.
232
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,680
{\an2}It is...
233
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:33,960
{\an2}..polite.
234
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,400
{\an2}It literally says, "I hopeyou've had a good week."
235
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,000
{\an2}Emma!
236
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,520
{\an2}OK, who's next?
237
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:46,560
{\an2}OK, well next up it'sA, B, C, D, Jack Dee.
238
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,480
{\an2}There's your envelope.
239
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,800
{\an2}How's your day going, Jack?
240
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,680
{\an2}Not as dignified asI thought it would.
241
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,320
{\an2}It didn't work.I wasn't happy with that.
242
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,880
{\an2}All I've written is "Well, that willsave BAFTA some money
243
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,080
{\an2}"for your In Memorandum film."
244
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:29,600
{\an2}Yeah.
245
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,000
{\an2}And the sooner theyplay it, the better.
246
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,080
{\an2}Absolutely heartbreaking.It pushed the envelope
247
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,960
{\an2}and it made me genuinely feelquite emotional.
248
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,800
{\an2}Hmm, yeah. In total, on that day,he pushed the envelope three miles.
249
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,480
{\an2}I would've carried onbut the crew caught up with me
250
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,240
{\an2}and said I had to stop.
251
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,880
{\an2}Well, the time had run out quitea long time,
252
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,920
{\an2}about the two mile markthe time had run out. Yeah.
253
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,920
{\an2}Kept on going. Oh, nice.
254
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,920
{\an2}Right, break time.
255
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,000
{\an2}Let's end on a highwith some of Alex's impressions.
256
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,760
{\an2}It's Alex's impression hour! Ready?No. Donald Trump.
257
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,000
{\an2}Hey, how...Howdy, guys.
258
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,440
{\an2}I can't do impressions.Gregg Wallace.
259
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,520
{\an2}You wanna eat your dinner?
260
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,800
{\an2}Camilla Parker Bowles.
261
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,680
{\an2}Good evening, everyone.
262
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,920
{\an2}See you at the BAFTAs!I can't do impressions.
263
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,160
{\an2}Hello again!
264
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,520
{\an2}Welcome back to Taskmaster,
265
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,680
{\an2}where the competitors are pushingthe envelope.
266
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,840
{\an2}Oh, yes. They could dopretty much anything
267
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,480
{\an2}to impress Greg with this one,
268
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,560
{\an2}to extend the limitsof what's possible.
269
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,240
{\an2}Or you could just pace about a bitwith a letter in a wheelbarrow.
270
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,560
{\an2}Last up, it's Baba and Andy.
271
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,480
{\an2}All right, how do I push this thing?
272
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,600
{\an2}I could make a bowl out of it, look.
273
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,280
{\an2}It's a bowl.Someone get me milk and cereal.
274
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,960
{\an2}Are you talking to me?
275
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,080
{\an2}Yes.
276
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,480
{\an2}Right, you little paper monstrosity.
277
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,320
{\an2}Where is it, you pathetic littlefailed origami pigeon?
278
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:09,080
{\an2}I wouldn't lick you if you werethe last envelope on earth.
279
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,920
{\an2}Where is it? Tell me where it is.
280
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,800
{\an2}How do you make cereal?Do you put the milk...?
281
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,160
{\an2}You look like you put the milk infirst. Always milk first.
282
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,040
{\an2}How very dare you. Who does that?
283
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,720
{\an2}Wanna talk now, my slightlycrumpled friend?
284
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:30,080
{\an2}Answer the question!Answer the question!
285
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:34,800
{\an2}I ain't gonna eat this. I thinkyou should eat a little bit.
286
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,400
{\an2}No, my guy.I don't drink cow's milk.
287
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,080
{\an2}If I drink this, you will hear me
288
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,960
{\an2}in the toilet going, "Moo,"you know what I'm saying?
289
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,520
{\an2}I'll really be mooing up thattoilet.
290
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,240
{\an2}Maybe this'll make you talk.
291
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,600
{\an2}Oh, yeah? Do you wanna be next?
292
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,360
{\an2}Tell me what you know,or God help me,
293
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,840
{\an2}I will shred you, I will shred you.
294
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,720
{\an2}Last chance. I know youwanna tell me. Talk.
295
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:00,480
{\an2}I knew it!
296
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,800
{\an2}I did it.I stole the life cast of Alex Horne.
297
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,120
{\an2}I shrank it and I hid it ina wooden box under a cow.
298
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,000
{\an2}I knew you'd break eventually.
299
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,640
{\an2}Here comes the aeroplane.Yeah!
300
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,320
{\an2}Come on. Nice, innit?
301
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:17,840
{\an2}Right.
302
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,600
{\an2}There it is.Looks like he's been working out.
303
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,320
{\an2}Mystery solved.
304
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,920
{\an2}I pushed that envelopegood and proper.
305
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:37,920
{\an2}Andy, very creative.Genuinely disturbing.
306
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,840
{\an2}Thanks. I just think this showis just revealing you to be
307
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,080
{\an2}just not the person everyonethought you'd be.
308
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,920
{\an2}It's revealing me to be
309
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,640
{\an2}not the personI thought I was, to be honest.
310
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,760
{\an2}From episode to episode you'regetting more and more terrifying.
311
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,640
{\an2}It's very good, Andy,
312
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,280
{\an2}and quite the contrast jumpingfrom that
313
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,120
{\an2}to Baba feeding cereal
314
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,120
{\an2}into your stupid face froman envelope.
315
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,640
{\an2}Can I just say something?
316
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,280
{\an2}I pushed the envelope to its limits.I made it into a bowl.
317
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,520
{\an2}I mean it doesn't matter howemphatically you've taken it.
318
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,720
{\an2}Do you scream "Nice, innit" intothe face of your young children
319
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,280
{\an2}when you're feeding them?
320
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,200
{\an2}I do as well!
321
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:33,120
{\an2}OK, but who pushed it the least far,who pushed it the furthest?
322
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,040
{\an2}I feel like I'm... Do you feel likea bit picked on today, Emma?
323
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,880
{\an2}I can't think how I'm gonnanot put you last
324
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,600
{\an2}when you did three cartwheels
325
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,440
{\an2}and then wrote me a letterasking how I was.
326
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,720
{\an2}So it's one to Emma.Baba, two points.
327
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,480
{\an2}Two to you, Baba.
328
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,600
{\an2}Hmm. OK, I'm gonna giveRosie three points.
329
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,720
{\an2}He went for a walk.
330
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:57,800
{\an2}He walked three milesand his heart's not up to it.
331
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,680
{\an2}Three to Rosie.I'm gonna be led by emotion.
332
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,560
{\an2}And the one that moved me the mostemotionally was Jack
333
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,160
{\an2}who was pushing an envelopethree miles.
334
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,440
{\an2}So four points to Andy,five points to Jack.
335
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,480
{\an2}Hey. Hmm.Let's have a scoreboard.
336
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,280
{\an2}All right, well, the team of two,Jack and Rosie,
337
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,200
{\an2}are in joint secondwith seven points.
338
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,360
{\an2}But in the lead,it's Andy Zaltzman with nine points.
339
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:26,920
{\an2}What's next please, Horne?
340
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,720
{\an2}Well, we're off to a scare maze.
341
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,880
{\an1}SCARY MUSIC PLAYS
342
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,480
{\an2}Hiya!
343
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,080
{\an2}Hi, Rosie.
344
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,480
{\an2}Man like?
345
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,800
{\an2}Hello, Baba. Hey.You look nice.
346
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,520
{\an2}Yes, bro. Come on, man,look at the outfit, bruv.
347
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,160
{\an2}I make this look good,I'm not gonna lie to you, bro.
348
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,160
{\an2}Yo, I'm the hottest hotdogyou've ever seen in your life.
349
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,600
{\an2}I agree...oh, you're stilltalking, yeah. Come on.
350
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,640
{\an2}So whatever you do onthis task will be worth twice
351
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,840
{\an2}the number of points for you.See you in a minute.
352
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,480
{\an1}BELL CLANGS
353
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,560
{\an2}Bye-bye. Bye.
354
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,200
{\an2}There's a carrot on your back.
355
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,160
{\an2}Take a bite out of Alex's carrot.
356
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,400
{\an2}Alex's carrot? Is that a euphemism,or is that an actual carrot?
357
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,840
{\an2}Alex will ring his bellevery ten seconds.
358
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,640
{\an2}You must laugh constantlythroughout.
359
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,520
{\an2}No problem there!
360
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,720
{\an2}You must both only walk ata gentle pace.
361
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,200
{\an2}No problem there!
362
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,560
{\an2}Fastest wins.
363
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:08,760
{\an2}Fastest wins. Your time starts now.
364
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,520
{\an2}Ah-ha-ha-ha.
365
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,200
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-ha.
366
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,200
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-ha.
367
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,080
{\an1}ROSIE LAUGHS
368
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,000
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-ha.
369
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,880
{\an1}LAUGHING VOICES BLEND
370
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,280
{\an2}It hurts me to say, Baba,
371
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,160
{\an2}but you actually did lookquite good in a hotdog.
372
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,400
{\an2}Come on, bro.This is what I'm saying, bro.
373
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,680
{\an2}Yeah, should've brought itinstead of the trainers.
374
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,720
{\an2}Let's crack on with it, shall we?
375
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,520
{\an2}Yeah. We're gonna start witha happy Jack and a rambling Rosie.
376
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,040
{\an1}BELL CLANGSJACK "LAUGHS"
377
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,800
{\an1}ROSIE LAUGHS
378
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,240
{\an1}BELL CLANGS
379
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,640
{\an1}BELL TINKLES
380
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,480
{\an1}BELL CLANGS
381
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,280
{\an2}Ah-ha, got it.
382
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,000
{\an2}Oh, you're not Alex, are you?
383
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,080
{\an2}Oh, fuck.
384
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,560
{\an2}You're not Alex!
385
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,440
{\an2}That's wrong. It's not even Alex.
386
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,240
{\an1}BELL TINKLESJACK LAUGHS
387
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,920
{\an1}BELL CLANGSROSIE LAUGHS
388
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,600
{\an1}BELL CLANGS
389
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,800
{\an1}ROSIE LAUGHS
390
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,440
{\an1}JACK LAUGHSBELL CLANGS
391
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,360
{\an1}BELL TINKLESBELL CLANGS
392
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,880
{\an1}JACK LAUGHS
393
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,640
{\an1}BELL CLANGS
394
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,600
{\an2}JACK LAUGHS
395
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,800
{\an1}BELL CLANGS
396
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,840
{\an1}JACK LAUGHS
397
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,080
{\an2}Is that Alex?
398
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:57,120
{\an2}Yes, is that you, Jack? Hmm, yeah.
399
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,080
{\an2}Where are we?
400
00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,400
{\an2}Well, I know the way out.I will see you outside. Goodbye.
401
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,920
{\an2}No!
402
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:08,000
{\an2}Oh, bloody hell, Alex.
403
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,720
{\an2}Well, an absolute visionof hell in many ways
404
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,560
{\an2}watching both of you go throughthat dystopian nightmare
405
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:22,520
{\an2}made so much worse byme realising for the first time
406
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,120
{\an2}that Rosie Jones has gotDaddy written across her back.
407
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,120
{\an2}Course I do.
408
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,880
{\an2}I felt she was relentless.
409
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:34,000
{\an2}Well, she was.Got me in three minutes 49.
410
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:37,240
{\an2}Oh, wow. Jack has the bestlaugh to carrot noise
411
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,840
{\an2}that I think we'll see tonight.
412
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,880
{\an2}He went ha-ha-ha-nom-nom.
413
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,880
{\an2}Three minutes 26 for Jack.It was a pretty... Oh.
414
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,240
{\an2}..pretty close race. Just overthree minutes. Mm-hmm. Lovely.
415
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,400
{\an2}Now it's time to get giddywith Emma Sidi. Uh-oh.
416
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,600
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha.
417
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,600
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha...
418
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,800
{\an1}BELL CLANGSEMMA "LAUGHS"
419
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,960
{\an1}BELL TINKLES
420
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,040
{\an1}BELL CLANGS
421
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,520
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-ha...
422
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,200
{\an2}Hm-hm-hm...
423
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,880
{\an1}SHE SQUEALS
424
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,880
{\an2}Alex! It's a doppelganger!
425
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,680
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-ha.
426
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,360
{\an2}You bastard!
427
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,680
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha, ha-ha.
428
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,400
{\an1}BELL TINKLES
429
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,240
{\an2}BELL CLANGSHa-ha-ha-ha.
430
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,520
{\an2}Hee-hee-hee-hee.
431
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,560
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-Oh, there are two bells!
432
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,240
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.BELL TINKLES
433
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,560
{\an2}Alex!Ha-ha-ha...
434
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,040
{\an1}BELL TINKLES
435
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,240
{\an2}They're swapping bells.
436
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,720
{\an2}Swapping bells, you bastards.Ha-ha-ha-ha.
437
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,360
{\an1}BELL TINKLES
438
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,200
{\an2}Hello, Emma.
439
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,680
{\an2}It's really infuriating that.
440
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,280
{\an2}That other bloke.
441
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,280
{\an2}What other bloke? No. Ugh.I'm not doing that.
442
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,520
{\an2}No? Wind-up. Bye-bye.
443
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,320
{\an2}I wish more people wouldshut him down like that.
444
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:43,320
{\an2}"No, I'm not doing that."It worked a treat.
445
00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:45,960
{\an2}I'd clearly had enough,which really worries me.
446
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,160
{\an2}How long was that?
447
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,680
{\an2}It felt like a long time,and I felt like you went from
448
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,720
{\an2}someone doing quitea fun comedy laugh
449
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,760
{\an2}to someone who could kill.
450
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,280
{\an2}Yeah.
451
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:58,680
{\an2}And the tipping point for mewas this...
452
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,680
{\an2}"Ah-ha-ha-ha. Hee-hee."
453
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,320
{\an2}All three of you walked 300 metres.
454
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:05,880
{\an2}They took three minutes,you took eight minutes.
455
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,200
{\an2}Could've been longer. I could'vekept that going for hours, I think.
456
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,400
{\an2}There was no way you weregonna catch me.
457
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,400
{\an2}Because she was going too slowly.Yeah.
458
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:18,480
{\an2}We all had fun.
459
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:19,880
{\an2}Hee-hee-hee!
460
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,560
{\an2}OK, time for another break.
461
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,760
{\an2}Hopefully there will bean overseas advert
462
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:27,520
{\an2}that has been badly dubbed in Englishso that the company can save money,
463
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,640
{\an2}followed quickly, I hope, bya nuclear apocalypse.
464
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,360
{\an2}It's what we deserve.
465
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,240
{\an2}It's genuinely my birthday.
466
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,080
{\an2}Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster,
467
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,200
{\an2}where the bellend's got a belland he won't stop ringing it.
468
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:57,120
{\an2}Yeah, I suppose that's true.
469
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,960
{\an2}Just two people to go, andone of them's dressed as a hotdog.
470
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,920
{\an2}It's Andy Zaltzman,and playing for double points,
471
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:03,880
{\an2}it's Babatunde Aleshe.
472
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,320
{\an2}BELL CLANGSHa-ha-ha-ha.
473
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,080
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-ha.
474
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,400
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-ha.BELL CLANGS, BELL TINKLES
475
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,720
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-ha...
476
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:31,840
{\an2}Ah, I've got you!
477
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,160
{\an2}Yes! I've got your carrot, bruv.Don't try it, bro.
478
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,360
{\an2}Yes, I'm the man!
479
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,080
{\an2}I won, right?
480
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,480
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha-ha...
481
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,720
{\an2}Can I have a...? Yeah.
482
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,440
{\an2}Oh, that's the good stuff.
483
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,800
{\an2}I won. Say it.
484
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,240
{\an2}Say it. I don't wanna say it.
485
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:25,440
{\an2}But you know I won.
486
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,840
{\an2}Did you expect that, Baba,when you entered this show
487
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:37,680
{\an2}that you would end up chasing a manso that you could bite his carrot
488
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,440
{\an2}whilst dressed as a hotdog?No, I didn't, no.
489
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,240
{\an2}And did you expect to be shouting"I'm the man" afterwards?
490
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:46,520
{\an2}Well, to be fair,I don't mind me saying it.
491
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,960
{\an2}He still needs to say it.I think you're the man,
492
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,680
{\an2}but he wants meto say that he's the man.
493
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,840
{\an2}I don't mind you saying he's the manif you do it with conviction.
494
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,360
{\an2}You the man.
495
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,720
{\an2}Very good. By stark contrast I'vewritten it down somewhere
496
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,520
{\an2}how did Andy celebrate?
497
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,520
{\an2}Well, he had a second biteof a carrot.
498
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,720
{\an2}And do you remember what you saidafter you had the second bite?
499
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:06,920
{\an2}Well, it varies from carrotto carrot with me.
500
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:08,840
{\an2}You said "Oh, yeah,that's the good stuff."
501
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,200
{\an2}Well, we know Emma was eightminutes,
502
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,080
{\an2}and gets one point for that. Aw.
503
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,000
{\an2}Rosie, 3.49, Jack, 3.26,
504
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,360
{\an2}Andy was two minutes 55,comes second place though
505
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,800
{\an2}because Baba did it in 35 seconds,so well done. Come on.
506
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,960
{\an2}Ten points. Straight in.
507
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,480
{\an2}So, Andy, you get four points,but, Baba, you get ten points.
508
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,040
{\an2}One more task proper,please, small boy.
509
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,680
{\an2}I'm the man. Sure thing,ding-a-ling.
510
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,280
{\an2}Get ready to check outmy versatile new jacket.
511
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:01,960
{\an2}Can I help?
512
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,640
{\an2}No. I'm on a turntable, Jack.
513
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,800
{\an2}Mm-hmm.Spinning around.
514
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,000
{\an2}You're not really though,are you? You're turning round.
515
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,120
{\an2}Oh, look. Mm-hmm.
516
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:18,600
{\an2}Feels a bit personal. Whoo.
517
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,360
{\an2}Pick the Taskmaster's locketfrom its pocket.
518
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:26,440
{\an2}Every time you pick an incorrectpocket, you must high five Alex.
519
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:30,600
{\an2}If you touch, tamper with, or peekinto a pocket, you must pick it.
520
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:36,280
{\an2}Fewest pockets picked wins.
521
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:40,240
{\an2}You have a maximum of 15 minutes.Your time starts now.
522
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:43,920
{\an2}May I touch you?
523
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,280
{\an2}Why are you spinning?
524
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,080
{\an2}It's just the setting.
525
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,920
{\an2}Oh. It's a wind-up.
526
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:03,800
{\an2}Have we got a moment justto replay what I think might be
527
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:07,040
{\an2}the creepiest moment inTaskmaster history.
528
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,000
{\an2}Yeah, I think I knowwhat you mean. Here it is.
529
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:13,080
{\an2}May I touch you?
530
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,160
{\an2}18 series and I've never felta shudder like it.
531
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,280
{\an2}What's wrong with that?
532
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:28,040
{\an2}- It's about consent.- Yeah!
533
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,560
{\an2}It is about consent.
534
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,720
{\an2}Thank you.
535
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:39,040
{\an2}First to locate the locket,it's Jack and Baba.
536
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,400
{\an2}OK, so I'm thinkingthere's gonna be a,
537
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,480
{\an2}some sort of locket in one ofthose pockets. Hmm. Yeah, yeah.
538
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,080
{\an2}Is that the locket?
539
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,080
{\an2}No, it's lipstick. Shall I put itthere? Yeah.
540
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,040
{\an2}I'll put it here.What's this? Chinese five spice.
541
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,200
{\an2}Chinese five spice.
542
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,200
{\an2}But there's nothing in there,is there, other than that.
543
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:04,080
{\an2}It's a bloody raisin.Oh, OK. Oh.
544
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,480
{\an2}Pow! Found a locket yet?
545
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,200
{\an2}No, that's a dog biscuit. OK.
546
00:34:09,240 --> 00:34:14,240
{\an2}What's in here? No.It's the bloody rocket. Pow.
547
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,160
{\an2}You take a lot of stuff aroundwith you, don't you?
548
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,480
{\an2}Yeah. 108 pockets.I can see that.
549
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:23,920
{\an2}Another rocket.Big up yourself.
550
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,120
{\an2}No, that's...that's something else.
551
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,880
{\an2}So that's just a bag of...That's my bag of yellow, yeah.
552
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:32,760
{\an2}Bag of yellow. Mm-hmm.Fair enough.
553
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,400
{\an2}Big up yourself.
554
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,960
{\an2}Don't trust sound peopleor make-up artists. Hmm.
555
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,360
{\an2}That's a bit bad, innit?
556
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,400
{\an2}I trust sound people andmake-up artists. Why wouldn't you?
557
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,600
{\an2}Well, you shouldn't.Yeah, good advice, thank you.
558
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,720
{\an2}Mm-hmm. But not what we're after.Right.
559
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,760
{\an2}Keys. Hmm.What do I open this with?
560
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,080
{\an2}Ah. This might be it.
561
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,520
{\an2}No, it's a compass.It's a compass with my name on it.
562
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:02,880
{\an2}Babatunde. Ah,it says my name on it. Come on.
563
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,040
{\an2}There's a picture of me. Yeah. Nice.
564
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,600
{\an2}I've just got... Yeah, OK. ..coupleof things with your names on it.
565
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:08,880
{\an2}That's very thoughtful.
566
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:13,920
{\an2}Oh, my days with this stupid-arserocket, man. Getting on my nerves.
567
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,360
{\an2}Stone with Y written on it. Ah.
568
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,400
{\an2}These are starting to annoy me.The rockets? Too many of 'em.
569
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,880
{\an2}Why have you got milk?Thirsty. Yuck.
570
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,960
{\an2}There's an eye.Mm-hmm. So...
571
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,640
{\an2}Hey! Pick the locketfrom the pocket...?
572
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:32,520
{\an2}That's a padlock.
573
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,560
{\an2}Oh, for goodness sake.The man ain't won! What the hell?
574
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,040
{\an2}Five and a half minutes leftto find this locket. Left.
575
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,080
{\an2}Another pebble.So it spells YOU. Right.
576
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:43,000
{\an2}I don't think that's got anyrelevance,
577
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,640
{\an2}to be honest. Right, OK. Yeah.
578
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:46,560
{\an2}I've found the other eye though.Ah!
579
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,200
{\an2}There we go.
580
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,240
{\an2}The locket is in your pocket.
581
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,720
{\an2}The locket is in your pocket.No, it ain't.
582
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,840
{\an2}I ain't got no locket in my pocket.
583
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:01,600
{\an2}Ha-ha!
584
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:03,560
{\an1}HE GROWLS
585
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,200
{\an2}Ah. There you are.You got the locket.
586
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:10,360
{\an2}How'd you do that? Are youlike David Copperfield now, are you?
587
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:13,320
{\an2}And there's a piece of hairin there as well.
588
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:14,920
{\an2}It's got my own hair.That's, that's OK.
589
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,480
{\an2}Well, I shall treasure that.
590
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:23,360
{\an2}I mean neither of youthought there might be
591
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,400
{\an2}a faster way of doing this.Just went route one.
592
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:27,760
{\an2}Well, how were wesupposed to know
593
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,440
{\an2}that there was a locketin our pocket?
594
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:30,640
{\an2}I realised afterwards cos you'd,
595
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,920
{\an2}someone took my jacketto do something and I should've...
596
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,280
{\an2}You know, trustingly I said,"Yeah, of course, thank you."
597
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:38,120
{\an2}I thanked them. I thanked them.
598
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,680
{\an2}Do you wanna know how manypockets they picked? Yes, please.
599
00:36:41,720 --> 00:36:44,440
{\an2}Babatunde, 41 incorrect pockets.
600
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,280
{\an2}Jack, 70.
601
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,040
{\an2}Would you like to seeRosie Jones' locket adventure?
602
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,160
{\an2}Let's go. Rosie Jones.
603
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:57,240
{\an2}I don't think it's in this
604
00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:02,120
{\an2}cos that would be obvious.
605
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:06,120
{\an2}Ooh, can I pick that one?
606
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:15,080
{\an2}Don't trust sound peopleor make-up artists.
607
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:19,720
{\an2}Well, you don't need totell me that.
608
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:22,720
{\an2}They're all pieces of shit.
609
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,960
{\an2}Is it in your pocket?
610
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,240
{\an2}You said no.
611
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:34,400
{\an2}But I don't trust you.
612
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,240
{\an2}You've got his wallet?Yeah. Right.
613
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:53,280
{\an2}Ooh, is it on me?
614
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:56,640
{\an2}Oh, my god!
615
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:04,360
{\an2}You sneaky bugger.
616
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:10,480
{\an2}Well done, Rosie.Don't trust anyone.
617
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:20,120
{\an2}I just wanna make it clear thatwhen Rosie was told
618
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:23,440
{\an2}not to trust sound and lightingpeople, she said, and I quote,
619
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:27,120
{\an2}"You don't need to tell me that,they're all pieces of shit."
620
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,680
{\an2}I mean it.
621
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,280
{\an2}And you then went on
622
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:39,600
{\an2}to blatantly steal moneyfrom a soundman's wallet.
623
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:45,480
{\an2}Yeah. Neil was lying to me.
624
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:50,160
{\an2}The least I could do was rob him.
625
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:53,960
{\an2}He wasn't lying to you.Of course.
626
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,400
{\an2}And fast, surely?
627
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,440
{\an2}Well, it's all about the numberof pockets picked. Yes.
628
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:01,160
{\an2}Five of Neil's, five of her own,three of mine, so 13 in total.
629
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,480
{\an2}13. 13 pockets.It's good. Very good.
630
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,280
{\an2}We're stopping again.
631
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,120
{\an2}One part left to go,and at the end of it
632
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:10,240
{\an2}someone will stroll proudly outof the studio
633
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,320
{\an2}carrying a sculpture ofa cherub wearing sunglasses,
634
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,640
{\an2}and a painting ofa banged-up donkey.
635
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:19,400
{\an2}This isn't a cheese dream,we're all being paid for this.
636
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,520
{\an2}We'll see you in part four.
637
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,840
{\an2}Welcome back. It's part four,
638
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,120
{\an2}and Alex hasa stupid jacket on.
639
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,640
{\an2}It's not stupid, actually.You're stupid...
640
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,040
{\an2}..ly attractive.
641
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:47,760
{\an2}Yes, they have to find the locket
642
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:49,680
{\an2}by picking the fewestpockets possible.
643
00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:52,600
{\an2}Two left, it's Andy and Emma.
644
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,320
{\an2}OK, I'm just gonna take a second.
645
00:39:57,840 --> 00:39:59,520
{\an2}The Taskmaster's locket.
646
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,320
{\an2}Doesn't necessarily mean it's oneof your pockets though, does it?
647
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:03,880
{\an2}Are there clues in your pockets?
648
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:05,880
{\an2}All I do is spin round. OK.
649
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:09,200
{\an2}So there's bits of paper insome of these pockets
650
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,760
{\an2}by the looks of it.Are you peeking?
651
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,800
{\an2}I'm overviewing. Peeking is,
652
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,640
{\an2}that's a specific pocket,I'd say. All right.
653
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,720
{\an2}Well, some action.
654
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:29,080
{\an2}Obviously there's a great big statueof the Taskmaster outside. Mm.
655
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:30,640
{\an2}Can that count as a locket?
656
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,800
{\an2}It's not a locket and it wasn'tin a pocket, Andy.
657
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:34,840
{\an2}OK, I think I'm gonna haveto pick a pocket.
658
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:36,520
{\an2}Excuse me.
659
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:43,000
{\an2}So that appears to beRichard Herring on a red fish.
660
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:44,880
{\an2}Half your time gone.
661
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:49,680
{\an2}Chinese five spice.
662
00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:51,000
{\an2}That's the spice for me.
663
00:40:52,240 --> 00:40:54,120
{\an2}Right, I need an alternativepocket again.
664
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:55,720
{\an2}How many minutes have I got left?Four-and-a-half.
665
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,680
{\an2}Four-and-a-half, OK.I'll use it wisely.
666
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,200
{\an2}You've got three minutes, Andy.
667
00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:08,640
{\an2}Right, I've found a pineappleand some string.
668
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,360
{\an2}Was it in a pocket? Well, not yet,but I could put it in a pocket.
669
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,880
{\an2}OK, let's take that one out then.
670
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:15,520
{\an2}What's this? My milk.
671
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:16,960
{\an2}Milk? My milk.
672
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,760
{\an2}Your milk? My milk.Do you want it now?
673
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:21,680
{\an2}But you are running out of time.I see, I see that.
674
00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:23,280
{\an2}I'll tell you what, I'll putthe milk there.
675
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:26,920
{\an2}Well, it feels like you'retampering.
676
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,960
{\an1}TOY SQUEAKS
677
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,840
{\an2}Well, I think lockets are passe.Yeah?
678
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:34,360
{\an2}Don't like lockets.Never liked 'em, actually.
679
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:37,000
{\an2}Are you off, Andy?Yeah, I'm done.
680
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,720
{\an2}Right, I don't wanna be weird...
681
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,080
{\an2}..I found this in my pocket earlier.
682
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,360
{\an2}So I've done it, have I?
683
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:54,000
{\an2}Yeah, you didn't pick anyincorrect pockets. Yeah.
684
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:55,680
{\an2}Brilliant. Hmm.
685
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,200
{\an2}Now that was bad ass. Yeah.
686
00:42:10,240 --> 00:42:12,880
{\an2}So I'm a girl that likesa clean line.
687
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,720
{\an2}Yeah. So whenever I'm goingout, you know,
688
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,240
{\an2}you wanna, you don't want shitin your pockets, right?
689
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:20,240
{\an2}You don't want stuff in your pocket.Do not want shit in your pocket.
690
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:24,720
{\an2}So I was just about to do it, andgoing, like, "Hang on, wait, what?"
691
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,240
{\an2}OK.
692
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:28,800
{\an2}Let's do this.
693
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:30,880
{\an2}That's my story.
694
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:32,680
{\an2}It's a different storyto Andy's story.
695
00:42:32,720 --> 00:42:36,320
{\an2}Andy's I wrote down justto make sure I got it right.
696
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:37,840
{\an2}He picked about four orfive pockets,
697
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,760
{\an2}he tried to redefine whata locket is.
698
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:46,600
{\an2}Yeah, I went to try and findthe nearest available snooker club,
699
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:51,000
{\an2}thinking that maybe oneof their snooker table pockets
700
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:54,520
{\an2}would have...
701
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,600
{\an2}..a packet of Lockets in it. Anyway.
702
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,640
{\an2}I mean, I remember,as we recorded that
703
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:05,400
{\an2}thinking how annoying it was,and having seen back
704
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:10,480
{\an2}I'd forgotten that I'd almost solvedit in the first second. Yeah.
705
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,080
{\an2}Yeah. That is a fuckloadmore annoying now, so.
706
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:15,640
{\an2}It's also quite annoying that
707
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,320
{\an2}we think the locket's probably stillin your pocket. Oh, right, OK.
708
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,960
{\an2}So it's zero pointsto Andy on that one.
709
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,280
{\an2}Jack, two points for you,three to Baba,
710
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:26,880
{\an2}four to Rosie, but fiveto Emma Sidi. Congratulations.
711
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,600
{\an2}Let's see a scoreboard.Yes, please.
712
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,880
{\an2}Well, I think the hotdog helped.Baba's on the top with 17 points.
713
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:40,400
{\an2}Right, everyone, will you pleasemake your way
714
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,600
{\an2}to the stage for the finaltask of the show.
715
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,360
{\an2}Who will be reading thetask out, young fellow m'lad?
716
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:52,600
{\an2}Baba. OK.
717
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:58,960
{\an2}Gather a herd of animalswith exactly 22 legs.
718
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,560
{\an2}You may not harm any animals.
719
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:07,160
{\an2}You may only use animals oneither side of this wall
720
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,040
{\an2}and you may not use each other.
721
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:15,400
{\an2}On Alex's whistle, you must hurl oneof your herd over the wall.
722
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:20,680
{\an2}When your herd has 22 legs,only then may you don your tutus.
723
00:44:20,720 --> 00:44:22,360
{\an2}First team in tutus wins.
724
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:26,520
{\an2}Each of them have six animalson their bench,
725
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,640
{\an2}and that's where the herd lives.
726
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:30,920
{\an2}You've got a flamingowith one leg, a kangaroo with two,
727
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,080
{\an2}a sick dog with three legs,
728
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,000
{\an2}Patatas the cat with four legs,
729
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:39,280
{\an2}a monster there with five legs,and an ant with six legs.
730
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,040
{\an2}You've gotta throw something every15 seconds,
731
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,920
{\an2}that's when I'll blow the whistle.
732
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:46,320
{\an2}If you don't do the maths correctlywithin the 15 seconds
733
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:47,600
{\an2}and another animal comes over,
734
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:49,480
{\an2}and you've missedthe tutu opportunity, it carries on.
735
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,880
{\an2}Got it. Good luck.I'm gonna start the clock...now.
736
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,200
{\an2}Choose your animals...
737
00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:56,600
{\an2}We're going for three.
738
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:57,840
{\an2}OK, well maybe don't say it out...
739
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,880
{\an2}Pick up an animal,get ready to throw.
740
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:04,600
{\an2}You're gonna be throwing onthe whistle.
741
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,600
{\an2}Three, two, one...
742
00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:08,960
{\an2}Lovely, put that on the bench.
743
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,640
{\an2}That's 22.
744
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:18,520
{\an2}Task complete. Done.
745
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,640
{\an2}Wow. They did it.
746
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,360
{\an2}Well, not many people'd be braveenough to say it, I will.
747
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:32,360
{\an2}The show's been great,that was rubbish.
748
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:37,400
{\an2}Come down here, we'll add that tothe final scores.
749
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,880
{\an2}What a glorious anti-climax.
750
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,320
{\an2}It may be one of my favouritetasks ever.
751
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:51,080
{\an2}It's really madethe scoreboard interesting.
752
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:53,520
{\an2}Cos the team of three getsfive points each for that.
753
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:55,840
{\an2}The team of two, zero.
754
00:45:57,280 --> 00:46:00,000
{\an2}And the winner is...Baba with 22 points.
755
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,800
{\an2}Yes! Yes! Yes!
756
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,120
{\an2}Babatunde Aleshe wins.
757
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:09,720
{\an2}Please bowl up to brandishyour bad ass belongings.
758
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,560
{\an2}So what have we learnt fromtoday's show?
759
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,280
{\an2}We've learnt that Taskmaster,it's a silly old show really,
760
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:23,520
{\an2}but at times it has the capacityto move.
761
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:28,560
{\an2}The haunting image of Jack Deestrolling heroically into the sunset,
762
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,840
{\an2}his destination unknown,pushing that envelope,
763
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,680
{\an2}will forever be etched on allof our minds.
764
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,920
{\an2}And let's also not forgetBaba's nuts on a pillow.
765
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,920
{\an2}And here he is again tonight,cos he's the winner,
766
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,440
{\an2}it's Babatunde Aleshe!
767
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,080
{\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media
70969
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