All language subtitles for Kite.Man.Hell.Yeah.S01E10.720p.WEB.x265-MiNX

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,219 --> 00:00:04,959 How's it going down there, Chuck? 2 00:00:04,959 --> 00:00:06,933 Real good, babe. 3 00:00:08,331 --> 00:00:11,957 Is the Anti-Life Equation affecting you the same way it did the chicken? 4 00:00:11,966 --> 00:00:15,511 No, babe, but I am being affected a teensy-weensy bit... 5 00:00:15,513 --> 00:00:17,597 From all the trees you're slamming me into. 6 00:00:17,597 --> 00:00:19,515 Oh. Sorry. 7 00:00:19,515 --> 00:00:21,309 Sometimes I forget you're down there. 8 00:00:21,309 --> 00:00:24,979 As long as you don't say that in bed, babe. 9 00:00:30,777 --> 00:00:33,488 I think you've run long enough. 10 00:00:33,488 --> 00:00:35,907 How did you find us? 11 00:00:35,907 --> 00:00:37,408 I got this, babe. 12 00:00:37,408 --> 00:00:40,328 Is it because I search for highly rated Anti-Life Equation 13 00:00:40,328 --> 00:00:42,121 disposal options near me? 14 00:00:42,121 --> 00:00:43,998 Yes. And thank you. 15 00:00:43,998 --> 00:00:45,208 - Knew it! - Babe! 16 00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:47,210 Sorry, babe. I thought it was worth a shot. 17 00:00:47,210 --> 00:00:50,421 Well, we're not giving you the Anti-Life Equation. 18 00:00:50,421 --> 00:00:53,174 Chuck and I will die to protect it. 19 00:00:53,174 --> 00:00:54,884 - Oh, dang it! - Chuck! 20 00:00:54,884 --> 00:00:57,512 I'm sorry, babe. I am so sorry. 21 00:00:57,512 --> 00:01:00,390 If you want it back, I have a price. 22 00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:03,000 A talk with me, face to face. 23 00:01:03,002 --> 00:01:08,398 - My robots will escort you. - Oh, right, so you can kill us. No way. 24 00:01:08,398 --> 00:01:10,567 I thought you might say that. 25 00:01:10,569 --> 00:01:14,813 - Which is why I brought an olive branch. - Pass. 26 00:01:14,815 --> 00:01:18,375 All the olive branches, olive oils, and pimento olives in the world 27 00:01:18,377 --> 00:01:22,578 won't get us there because, newsflash, I don't like olives! 28 00:01:22,578 --> 00:01:24,706 Do you like this? 29 00:01:24,706 --> 00:01:27,709 - My kite? - I saved it from the fire, 30 00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,627 which is what I want to do for you. 31 00:01:29,627 --> 00:01:33,297 You can't spend your life on the run, Kite Man. 32 00:01:33,297 --> 00:01:35,403 It's time you faced this. 33 00:01:35,890 --> 00:01:37,472 Trust me. 34 00:02:06,748 --> 00:02:08,875 We've run that simulation millions of times. 35 00:02:08,875 --> 00:02:10,668 And it always comes out the same. 36 00:02:10,668 --> 00:02:12,879 All life in the universe is extinguished. 37 00:02:12,879 --> 00:02:15,673 - The end of everything. - Including my customers. 38 00:02:15,673 --> 00:02:17,383 Which is why I don't want this to happen. 39 00:02:17,383 --> 00:02:21,137 It is inspiring how much you care for your customers. 40 00:02:21,139 --> 00:02:23,560 - Well, they're always right. - Mmm, unless they're dead. 41 00:02:23,562 --> 00:02:26,392 Precisely! Which is what I'm trying to avoid. 42 00:02:26,392 --> 00:02:27,769 No matter the variable, 43 00:02:27,769 --> 00:02:30,539 the simulation always ends that way. 44 00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,955 With one exception. 45 00:02:32,957 --> 00:02:35,443 You, Kite Man. 46 00:02:35,443 --> 00:02:38,571 There's a scenario where you use the Anti-Life Equation 47 00:02:38,571 --> 00:02:40,573 and this doesn't happen. 48 00:02:40,573 --> 00:02:42,617 Uh, cool. 49 00:02:42,617 --> 00:02:44,077 - Why not? - Yeah. 50 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,620 Why not? 51 00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:46,996 I wish we knew. 52 00:02:46,996 --> 00:02:50,133 But the fate of the world is in your capab... 53 00:02:50,135 --> 00:02:52,377 Well, your hands. 54 00:02:52,377 --> 00:02:53,920 But it won't be easy. 55 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:55,880 Lex wants the equation to kill Superman, 56 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,548 and has no clue he'll kill us all. 57 00:02:57,548 --> 00:02:59,008 We've dealt with Lex before. 58 00:02:59,008 --> 00:03:00,677 But you've never dealt with Darkseid. 59 00:03:00,677 --> 00:03:01,677 He's hunting you, too, 60 00:03:01,679 --> 00:03:03,846 and if he gets the equation, we're all dead. 61 00:03:03,846 --> 00:03:06,861 So whatever you do, do it quickly. 62 00:03:06,863 --> 00:03:08,184 Okay... 63 00:03:08,184 --> 00:03:10,992 I can't believe I'm going to fucking say this, 64 00:03:10,994 --> 00:03:13,230 but godspeed, Kite Man! 65 00:03:20,029 --> 00:03:22,559 Drinking light beer these days, huh Gus? 66 00:03:22,561 --> 00:03:24,951 Yeah. I just thought I'd switch it up, Nooman. 67 00:03:24,951 --> 00:03:27,036 - Nooman? - Goddam it! 68 00:03:27,036 --> 00:03:29,288 I've been tugging coffee and prune juice, 69 00:03:29,288 --> 00:03:32,500 but I'm stuffed up like a hydroelectric dam. 70 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,544 Sometimes the best laxative 71 00:03:34,544 --> 00:03:36,629 is a little thing called patience. 72 00:03:36,629 --> 00:03:37,880 Shove it, dickbag! 73 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,882 I have no time for your patience. 74 00:03:39,882 --> 00:03:43,344 I have to poop in the Portal Potty right now 75 00:03:43,344 --> 00:03:47,432 so I can go back to the '80s and find Goldilocks! 76 00:03:47,432 --> 00:03:49,726 She's probably 'lone and scared 77 00:03:49,726 --> 00:03:52,228 and this close to trying to get famous 78 00:03:52,228 --> 00:03:53,896 by singing in a mall. 79 00:03:53,896 --> 00:03:56,024 Yeah, kids are easy to lose. 80 00:03:56,024 --> 00:03:59,485 I have one or two kiddos wander off every field trip, 81 00:03:59,485 --> 00:04:00,820 and perish. 82 00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,822 That is weird and not helpful. 83 00:04:04,907 --> 00:04:06,909 Helen says it's up to you to save us. 84 00:04:06,909 --> 00:04:08,661 So, what's your plan? 85 00:04:08,661 --> 00:04:10,747 Ooh, uh, I was kind of hoping 86 00:04:10,747 --> 00:04:13,166 something would hit me on the way over. 87 00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:14,625 Uh... Oh! I know. 88 00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:16,252 Yes! That's my Chuck! 89 00:04:16,252 --> 00:04:17,253 I'll take a shower. 90 00:04:17,253 --> 00:04:18,838 That's where I get my best ideas. 91 00:04:18,838 --> 00:04:20,923 What kind of idea we lookin' for? 92 00:04:20,923 --> 00:04:25,261 Oh, you know, just one that allows us to defeat two apex villains 93 00:04:25,261 --> 00:04:28,723 while also destroying a heretofore undestroyable cosmic weapon. 94 00:04:28,723 --> 00:04:30,850 Anything coming to mind? 95 00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:33,626 Just if we're making war plans, 96 00:04:33,628 --> 00:04:36,814 we should adjourn to the war room. 97 00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:47,116 We have a basement? 98 00:04:47,116 --> 00:04:49,385 This is why you use a real estate agent. 99 00:04:52,455 --> 00:04:56,125 And side to side! And side to side! 100 00:04:56,125 --> 00:05:00,088 And glute and chute! And glute and chute! 101 00:05:00,088 --> 00:05:02,799 Are you Princess Rebecca Chen? 102 00:05:02,799 --> 00:05:05,927 You look beautiful! 103 00:05:05,927 --> 00:05:08,763 I better. If I'm gonna be the next Sheena Easton, 104 00:05:08,763 --> 00:05:10,306 I gotta up my leg game. 105 00:05:10,306 --> 00:05:12,725 What do you want, kid? You shit here from the future? 106 00:05:12,725 --> 00:05:15,978 I went number two and it sent me back in time. 107 00:05:15,978 --> 00:05:18,856 And Baney told me a story 'bout you. 108 00:05:18,856 --> 00:05:21,003 Bane? What did he have to say? 109 00:05:21,005 --> 00:05:26,030 It's a story about your daughter on the run with the Anti-Life 'quation. 110 00:05:26,030 --> 00:05:29,784 My daughter has something called the Anti-Life Quation? 111 00:05:29,784 --> 00:05:32,078 Mmm. Tell me more. 112 00:05:35,577 --> 00:05:38,376 Sire, this chip was torn from Chessure. 113 00:05:38,376 --> 00:05:41,921 Now we have no way of tracking Malice and the Anti-Life Equation. 114 00:05:41,921 --> 00:05:43,715 How is that possible? 115 00:05:43,715 --> 00:05:47,885 - That kid from Petigans, uh- - ♪ Brandon! ♪ 116 00:05:47,885 --> 00:05:49,178 Right. Brandon. 117 00:05:49,178 --> 00:05:52,181 He guaranteed it would never dislodge. 118 00:05:52,181 --> 00:05:55,518 He probably didn't anticipate the giant chicken attack, sire. 119 00:05:55,518 --> 00:05:58,518 I'm sorry. But do you know what guarantee means? 120 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,690 ♪ A promise That certain conditions Will be fulfilled ♪ 121 00:06:00,690 --> 00:06:03,317 A promise that certain conditions will be fulfilled. 122 00:06:03,317 --> 00:06:07,363 Yes. Well, Brandon broke his fucking promise. 123 00:06:07,363 --> 00:06:10,742 And now we don't know where the Anti-Life Equation is. 124 00:06:10,742 --> 00:06:15,872 But I do know exactly where to go. 125 00:06:15,872 --> 00:06:19,876 Okay, and do you have a Petigans Plus account? 126 00:06:19,876 --> 00:06:23,212 Brandon! You guaranteed me this tracking chip 127 00:06:23,212 --> 00:06:26,007 could never be dislodged from my demon cat. 128 00:06:26,007 --> 00:06:27,864 Oh, I remember you. Yeah. 129 00:06:27,866 --> 00:06:30,386 You have your Petigans Plus card? I could give you a refund. 130 00:06:30,386 --> 00:06:34,766 A refund doesn't give me my fucking Anti-Life Equation, does it, Brandon? 131 00:06:34,766 --> 00:06:37,643 You broke a guarantee. 132 00:06:37,643 --> 00:06:41,425 And the punishment for that is torture for 1,000 years. 133 00:06:41,427 --> 00:06:45,366 - Um, um, sire? - Um, um, what, DeSaad? 134 00:06:45,368 --> 00:06:49,116 We probably don't have 1,000 years to find the Anti-Life Equation. 135 00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:52,674 Well, I guess every party needs a pooper. That's why we invited DeSaad. 136 00:06:52,676 --> 00:06:54,702 ♪ Ha ha ha! ♪ 137 00:06:54,702 --> 00:06:56,245 But perhaps you're right. 138 00:06:56,245 --> 00:06:59,207 Instead of being tortured for 1,000 years, 139 00:06:59,207 --> 00:07:02,126 you will serve me on Apokolips for eternity. 140 00:07:02,126 --> 00:07:05,380 Um... 'Kay, I could probably start Thursday. 141 00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:07,924 I gotta tell Gary, my boss here-- 142 00:07:07,924 --> 00:07:10,284 You'll start right now. 143 00:07:11,834 --> 00:07:15,894 Yeah, so Helen says I need to use it somehow. 144 00:07:15,896 --> 00:07:18,226 That doesn't make sense. How the hell do you use it? 145 00:07:18,226 --> 00:07:21,270 Or destroy it when even a nuclear blast couldn't? 146 00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:23,106 We don't have any idea. Okay? 147 00:07:23,106 --> 00:07:26,109 As far as I know, there's no way to destroy it. 148 00:07:26,109 --> 00:07:28,444 Hey, hey, you guys ever seen The Exorcist? 149 00:07:28,444 --> 00:07:30,947 That movie about the little girl possessed by the demon 150 00:07:30,949 --> 00:07:32,952 and nobody can figure out how to get rid of it? 151 00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:35,369 Yeah, right. And then the old priest says, 152 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:38,621 "Hey, demon, when you're done playing with the kids, 153 00:07:38,622 --> 00:07:40,827 try and fuck with me." 154 00:07:40,829 --> 00:07:43,439 Oh, yeah, and then the demons like, "It's on!" 155 00:07:43,441 --> 00:07:46,350 Right. And it jumps into him and the priest is all like, 156 00:07:46,351 --> 00:07:47,964 "Joke's on you demon. 157 00:07:47,964 --> 00:07:50,314 I'm jumping out this window." And he does. 158 00:07:50,316 --> 00:07:55,096 And he slams into the stairs, kills himself and the demon dies inside him. 159 00:07:57,807 --> 00:08:02,061 Chuck, are you suggesting that you invite the Anti-Life Equation inside you 160 00:08:02,061 --> 00:08:03,938 and then kill yourself to destroy it? 161 00:08:03,938 --> 00:08:06,024 What? Holy shit. 162 00:08:06,024 --> 00:08:09,986 No, I was just like, "The Exorcist, that's a pretty good movie." 163 00:08:09,986 --> 00:08:13,656 It was just suggested to me on my Villigans Crime "Watch Next" list. 164 00:08:13,656 --> 00:08:17,967 Kill myself? How did you get that from that? 165 00:08:19,495 --> 00:08:22,248 I'm glad you think so, because that's just crazy. 166 00:08:22,248 --> 00:08:24,542 So crazy, it just might work. 167 00:08:24,542 --> 00:08:28,296 Whoever reads the equation, becomes the equation. 168 00:08:28,296 --> 00:08:30,757 And like The Exorcist tells us, 169 00:08:30,757 --> 00:08:33,468 if they die, it dies. 170 00:08:33,468 --> 00:08:35,011 Newheart is right! 171 00:08:35,011 --> 00:08:37,972 Kite Man should use the Anti-Life Equation and kill himself. 172 00:08:37,972 --> 00:08:39,223 Who's with me? 173 00:08:39,223 --> 00:08:40,641 - I am. - Of course. 174 00:08:40,641 --> 00:08:42,185 - Uh what? - - Thanks for dying, Kite Man. 175 00:08:42,185 --> 00:08:43,478 - That's a classy way to die. - Excuse me? 176 00:08:43,478 --> 00:08:44,937 Looks like the voters have spoken. 177 00:08:44,937 --> 00:08:47,774 Okay, so we're really doing this then. 178 00:08:47,774 --> 00:08:50,985 Guess I'll, uh, have to figure out the best thing 179 00:08:50,985 --> 00:08:54,989 to, uh, throw myself to the death off of-- 180 00:08:54,989 --> 00:08:57,200 Wait! What if once it's in him, 181 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,702 the Anti-Life Equation won't let him kill himself? 182 00:08:59,702 --> 00:09:03,539 Great point, Malice! That... That is the plan's Achilles heel. 183 00:09:03,539 --> 00:09:07,377 - Well, back to the drawing board-- - Or I'll kill you. 184 00:09:07,377 --> 00:09:09,379 That way you can't back out. 185 00:09:09,379 --> 00:09:12,382 - Boom, bam, bing, dead! - Ooh, fuck that! You're a terrible shot. 186 00:09:12,382 --> 00:09:14,342 I'll throw the Evil Fairy Godmother at him. 187 00:09:14,342 --> 00:09:18,054 Kite Man, I'd be happy to 'splode you if you'd like me to. 188 00:09:18,054 --> 00:09:21,849 That is, uh, so helpful of you guys. 189 00:09:21,849 --> 00:09:25,728 So, uh, are we thinking quick and painless or-- 190 00:09:25,728 --> 00:09:29,148 - Well, uh, quick-- - Okay, nobody's killing Chuck. 191 00:09:29,148 --> 00:09:31,008 - Why not? - Come on! 192 00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:32,748 - Who calls the shots around here? - - I don't mind really. 193 00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:35,196 Chuck, don't let them talk you into it. 194 00:09:35,196 --> 00:09:37,657 - I won't lose you like this. - Yeah. 195 00:09:37,657 --> 00:09:40,576 You've always said my power is my heart. 196 00:09:40,576 --> 00:09:43,705 My kindness. Which used to make me so mad. 197 00:09:43,705 --> 00:09:47,000 But I didn't tell you 'cause I didn't want to hurt your feelings. 198 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,127 But maybe you're right. 199 00:09:49,127 --> 00:09:52,422 Maybe kindness is a key that opens all doors, 200 00:09:52,422 --> 00:09:57,301 but only locks one, the door to the end of the universe. 201 00:09:57,301 --> 00:10:01,222 Which is a dooz. So, Babe, 202 00:10:01,222 --> 00:10:06,102 I have to ask. Lisa Golden Glider Snart, 203 00:10:06,102 --> 00:10:09,605 will you take silly old me to have and to hold, 204 00:10:09,605 --> 00:10:15,236 till death, at your hands, do us part? 205 00:10:15,236 --> 00:10:17,572 It's... It's just, it has to be you, babe. 206 00:10:18,321 --> 00:10:19,446 Please. 207 00:10:21,034 --> 00:10:24,620 Yes, Chuck. I'll do it. 208 00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:26,873 I'd rather be dead myself than live without you. 209 00:10:26,873 --> 00:10:29,792 But if you can make this sacrifice, then I can too. 210 00:10:31,044 --> 00:10:32,211 We need a minute. 211 00:10:39,844 --> 00:10:44,140 Hey, after all this... I know a guy you might like. 212 00:10:53,274 --> 00:10:58,237 - And this pocket is too- - Hot. I know. Jesus. Try this. 213 00:10:58,237 --> 00:11:02,658 So what you're saying is my daughter has the Anti-Life Equation? 214 00:11:02,658 --> 00:11:06,412 Baney said it's the most powerful weapon in the universe 215 00:11:06,412 --> 00:11:09,228 and everybody wants it. 216 00:11:09,230 --> 00:11:12,126 'cluding Darkseid. 217 00:11:12,126 --> 00:11:15,088 - The end. - Interesting. 218 00:11:18,031 --> 00:11:20,523 Darkseid Choir auditions. 219 00:11:20,525 --> 00:11:22,845 Very interesting. 220 00:11:22,845 --> 00:11:26,182 This cuisine is too lean! 221 00:11:26,182 --> 00:11:28,184 You know, kid, you're a real cunt. 222 00:11:29,033 --> 00:11:30,629 Uh, Darkseid? 223 00:11:30,631 --> 00:11:33,648 They said your warranty voided as soon as you took the chip out of the cat. 224 00:11:33,648 --> 00:11:35,441 I didn't take the fucking chip out! 225 00:11:35,441 --> 00:11:36,984 They owe me a full refund! 226 00:11:36,984 --> 00:11:40,863 Sire, perhaps your unquenchable thirst for revenge 227 00:11:40,863 --> 00:11:45,034 is proving a fatal flaw, that may be distracting you from your... 228 00:11:45,034 --> 00:11:46,703 Fatal what? 229 00:11:46,703 --> 00:11:50,331 Uh, let's remember this is all because Malice lied. 230 00:11:50,331 --> 00:11:54,002 Now I know the plan was to look everywhere but Noonan's, 231 00:11:54,002 --> 00:11:56,879 however, I took a chance. 232 00:11:56,879 --> 00:11:59,090 - God-daddy! - She was at Noonan's after all. 233 00:11:59,090 --> 00:12:03,970 I'm hearing the most awful rumor that you think I lied to you. 234 00:12:03,970 --> 00:12:08,141 Malice! Kite Man and Golden Glider have the Anti-Life Equation. 235 00:12:08,141 --> 00:12:11,477 Not Lex Luthor and Helen Villigan, like you told me. 236 00:12:11,477 --> 00:12:15,106 - Or am I wrong? - Okay, fine. They do. 237 00:12:15,106 --> 00:12:17,775 But it doesn't matter, because it's probably already destroyed. 238 00:12:17,775 --> 00:12:20,403 So you'll just have to find some other stupid math problem 239 00:12:20,403 --> 00:12:22,238 to fuck or whatever you want to do with it. 240 00:12:22,238 --> 00:12:23,740 I don't want to fuck it. 241 00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:26,868 And quite frankly, Malice, that's just really crass. 242 00:12:26,868 --> 00:12:28,494 No human can destroy it. 243 00:12:28,494 --> 00:12:30,163 They already tried to nuke it. 244 00:12:30,163 --> 00:12:32,081 Well, they're trying a different way. 245 00:12:32,081 --> 00:12:34,375 They're exorcist-ing it. 246 00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:36,252 They're using exorcist rules. 247 00:12:36,252 --> 00:12:37,795 Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah. 248 00:12:37,795 --> 00:12:40,757 Where the demon enters the priest, he kills himself, 249 00:12:40,757 --> 00:12:42,008 so the demon dies, too. 250 00:12:42,008 --> 00:12:44,886 He's all like, "Your mother sucks cocks in hell. 251 00:12:44,886 --> 00:12:47,680 - Your mother sucks cocks--" - Jesus Christ, Brandon! 252 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,433 - This throne room isn't rated NC-Brandon. - Sorry. 253 00:12:50,433 --> 00:12:52,268 Where... Where did Petigans find this kid? 254 00:12:52,268 --> 00:12:54,352 Anyway, that's what they're doing. 255 00:12:54,354 --> 00:12:57,694 Sire, that might actually destroy the Equation. 256 00:12:57,696 --> 00:13:00,693 DeSaad, if you're at a party 257 00:13:00,693 --> 00:13:03,446 and you can't tell who the pooper is, 258 00:13:03,446 --> 00:13:05,156 you're the pooper. 259 00:13:05,156 --> 00:13:07,070 You're the pooper, DeSaad! 260 00:13:07,072 --> 00:13:09,660 Your friends, where are they? 261 00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:12,955 I won't tell you because I won't let you kill them. 262 00:13:12,955 --> 00:13:15,833 You just said they're using exorcist rules. 263 00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:19,837 Which means they're trying to kill themselves. 264 00:13:19,837 --> 00:13:23,299 Once I have the equation, I'll let them live. 265 00:13:23,299 --> 00:13:27,178 So it seems the only way for you to save them 266 00:13:27,178 --> 00:13:29,389 is to tell me where they are! 267 00:13:30,973 --> 00:13:35,269 How much fiber is one supposed to ingest before a goddam bowel- 268 00:13:35,269 --> 00:13:39,816 - Hi, Baney! - Goldi! I was worried sick! 269 00:13:39,816 --> 00:13:41,526 I was in the '80s. 270 00:13:41,526 --> 00:13:45,446 You cannot go wandering by yourself into the '80s. 271 00:13:45,446 --> 00:13:46,989 It is not safe. 272 00:13:46,989 --> 00:13:50,159 There are no car seats. No one wears sunblock. 273 00:13:50,159 --> 00:13:53,287 I mean, the hairspray alone could choke you to death. 274 00:13:53,287 --> 00:13:56,082 I saw Princess Rebecca Chen! 275 00:13:56,082 --> 00:13:57,625 Did you talk to her? 276 00:13:57,625 --> 00:14:01,379 I told her the story 'bout the Anti-Life 'Quation. 277 00:14:01,379 --> 00:14:04,716 Hmm, well, hopefully, that's no big deal. 278 00:14:14,017 --> 00:14:17,687 Well, I suppose this is as good a spot as any for an ending. 279 00:14:17,687 --> 00:14:20,023 Are you sure you wanna go through with this? 280 00:14:20,023 --> 00:14:22,859 I'm sure, babe, and the only thing I'm even more sure of 281 00:14:22,859 --> 00:14:25,653 is that Lisa Snart is the prettiest, 282 00:14:25,653 --> 00:14:29,490 funniest, smartiest doggone girl I ever saw. 283 00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:32,201 I will love you for the rest of my life. 284 00:14:32,201 --> 00:14:36,372 And I'm not just saying that 'cause maybe there's like five minutes left in it. 285 00:14:36,372 --> 00:14:38,833 I don't want to kill you, Chuck. 286 00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:41,252 I know you don't, babe. 287 00:14:41,252 --> 00:14:43,004 That's what makes it hero stuff. 288 00:14:48,217 --> 00:14:50,970 Now remember, I'm the only one who can read this thing. 289 00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:54,098 If it falls into anyone else's hands, even yours, 290 00:14:54,098 --> 00:14:56,476 It is adios universe-io. 291 00:14:58,561 --> 00:15:01,647 Words, babe! It's starting to make words! 292 00:15:01,647 --> 00:15:04,525 Okay, let's get this party started. 293 00:15:06,611 --> 00:15:09,947 Chuck, it's taking kind of a long time. 294 00:15:09,947 --> 00:15:11,908 - How's it going? - I'm not gonna lie, babe. 295 00:15:11,908 --> 00:15:14,243 Thought this equation would have more pictures. 296 00:15:14,243 --> 00:15:15,912 Yo, oh, darn it, I lost my place. 297 00:15:15,912 --> 00:15:18,873 Okay, I'm just gonna start from the top. 298 00:15:25,505 --> 00:15:28,716 - You've got to read faster, babe. - No need! 299 00:15:28,716 --> 00:15:31,469 The Anti-Life Equation is mine now. 300 00:15:31,736 --> 00:15:32,886 Get it! 301 00:15:35,014 --> 00:15:37,558 Nuh, uh, uh. 302 00:15:37,558 --> 00:15:40,019 If you want the briefcase, you've got to go through us. 303 00:15:40,019 --> 00:15:43,606 Fuck you, Lex Luthor! 304 00:16:04,544 --> 00:16:06,462 It's story time! 305 00:16:06,462 --> 00:16:08,506 Cookie! 306 00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:13,678 Thanks. 307 00:16:23,771 --> 00:16:27,275 This just isn't making any... Oh! Okay, look at that. 308 00:16:27,275 --> 00:16:29,485 Reading the dang thing upside down. 309 00:16:29,485 --> 00:16:31,487 There we go. That's on me! 310 00:16:37,994 --> 00:16:39,537 Sweetheart, buy me a drink first-- 311 00:16:47,462 --> 00:16:48,755 Evil Fairy Godmother? 312 00:16:48,755 --> 00:16:50,673 Give 'em a happily ever after. 313 00:17:01,351 --> 00:17:02,852 Wow! Circle of life. 314 00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:17,116 ♪ Darkseid! It's Darkseid! ♪ 315 00:17:17,116 --> 00:17:20,787 ♪ You're totally screwed now 'Cause it's Darkseid! 316 00:17:20,787 --> 00:17:24,457 Finally! The Anti-Life Equation is mine! 317 00:17:24,457 --> 00:17:26,668 Malice, you sold us out? 318 00:17:26,668 --> 00:17:29,837 Only because I didn't want you to die. Okay? 319 00:17:29,837 --> 00:17:31,547 It was a... What do you call it? 320 00:17:31,547 --> 00:17:32,882 A Sally's choice! 321 00:17:32,882 --> 00:17:34,550 Yeah! 322 00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:36,886 ♪ Uh-oh he won't like that! ♪ 323 00:17:36,886 --> 00:17:39,889 Keep reading, Kite Man! We can't hold him for long! 324 00:17:44,435 --> 00:17:47,105 ♪ He'll kill you all Just give up! ♪ 325 00:17:51,984 --> 00:17:53,569 ♪ Told ya! ♪ 326 00:17:56,155 --> 00:17:57,198 Almost there! 327 00:18:01,285 --> 00:18:03,579 No! No! 328 00:18:03,579 --> 00:18:07,250 Shit! I don't wanna kill you, Chuck! 329 00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:08,584 Don't make me do this! 330 00:18:19,053 --> 00:18:20,888 Ah! 331 00:18:21,681 --> 00:18:24,142 No. No. 332 00:18:34,819 --> 00:18:37,238 Babe, hurry. 333 00:18:39,157 --> 00:18:40,992 ♪ Rebecca Chen? ♪ 334 00:18:40,992 --> 00:18:42,702 - Mom? - Oh, hi! 335 00:18:42,702 --> 00:18:45,496 I traveled through time when I heard you were messed up in this. 336 00:18:45,496 --> 00:18:47,165 Don't say I never did anything for you. 337 00:18:47,165 --> 00:18:48,958 ♪ Aw! Sweet! ♪ 338 00:18:52,712 --> 00:18:54,172 Gotcha! 339 00:18:58,593 --> 00:19:00,553 Get that fairy tale book! 340 00:19:04,265 --> 00:19:07,101 - Give me that book! - Bane! Bane! Here! 341 00:19:09,145 --> 00:19:13,399 - Over here! Throw me that book! - I'm afraid I can't do that. 342 00:19:13,399 --> 00:19:15,151 Martian Manhunter? 343 00:19:15,151 --> 00:19:16,444 Well, fuck! 344 00:19:16,444 --> 00:19:19,989 Not today, Darkseid. Kite Man and Golden Glider, 345 00:19:19,989 --> 00:19:23,576 your bravery has neutralized the threat. 346 00:19:23,576 --> 00:19:24,660 Good job. 347 00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:27,330 I'll take it from here. 348 00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:29,082 What the... That motherfucker took my book! 349 00:19:29,082 --> 00:19:31,459 Martian motherfucking Manhunter. 350 00:19:31,459 --> 00:19:33,002 There, there, Lex. 351 00:19:33,002 --> 00:19:35,963 There'll be other most powerful weapons in the universe. 352 00:19:37,507 --> 00:19:39,050 Chuck, babe, 353 00:19:39,050 --> 00:19:42,303 oh, I'm so glad you're not dead. 354 00:19:42,303 --> 00:19:44,639 Phew, me too, babe. 355 00:19:44,639 --> 00:19:47,600 Wow. Gus really came through for us. 356 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,353 Who would've guessed he was a shape-shifting superhero? 357 00:19:50,353 --> 00:19:51,979 Who thinks my name is Nooman. 358 00:19:51,979 --> 00:19:54,399 You dumb shits. He was just pretending to be Gus. 359 00:19:54,399 --> 00:19:58,152 You know what? He's got that look and voice down for sure. 360 00:19:59,529 --> 00:20:01,114 I was so close. 361 00:20:01,114 --> 00:20:04,450 Okay. Now, Lord Darkseid, I know you're pretty steamed-- 362 00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:07,495 But the good news is, I think 363 00:20:07,495 --> 00:20:09,872 there's one fella who can help us now. 364 00:20:09,872 --> 00:20:13,918 - And his name is- - Lee Trevino. 365 00:20:13,918 --> 00:20:16,087 Hello, friend. 366 00:20:16,087 --> 00:20:20,299 So, god-daddy, about the little fib, 367 00:20:20,299 --> 00:20:23,970 - I was only trying to-- - It's okay, Malice. 368 00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:27,432 - You come by evil. Honestly. - Great. Thanks. 369 00:20:27,432 --> 00:20:30,059 And now that Martian Manhunter has the briefcase, 370 00:20:30,059 --> 00:20:33,730 I'll have to spend another millennium looking for it. 371 00:20:33,730 --> 00:20:36,899 So how long you think Gus was Martian Manhunter? 372 00:20:36,899 --> 00:20:39,485 I'd say about eight hours. 373 00:20:39,485 --> 00:20:41,070 Good thing somebody was smart enough 374 00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:43,114 to take that game piece off the board. 375 00:20:43,114 --> 00:20:46,492 Hey, Noonan, hey, all, sorry that I've been gone. 376 00:20:46,492 --> 00:20:49,954 Got called in for a shift at the old fulfillment center. 377 00:20:49,954 --> 00:20:53,416 Working hard or hardly working. Am I right? 378 00:20:53,416 --> 00:20:55,335 I think I prefer the other guy. 379 00:20:55,335 --> 00:20:58,921 Never thought a beer could taste so sweet. 380 00:20:58,921 --> 00:21:01,049 - I wasn't gonna do it, Chuck. - What? 381 00:21:01,049 --> 00:21:02,383 Kill you. 382 00:21:02,383 --> 00:21:04,844 I know I said I would, but I also knew I couldn't. 383 00:21:04,844 --> 00:21:06,179 But babe, what were you gonna do 384 00:21:06,179 --> 00:21:07,930 once I finished reading the thing? 385 00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:10,475 I was still working on that when my mom showed up. 386 00:21:10,475 --> 00:21:12,310 Why do you think she did it? 387 00:21:12,310 --> 00:21:15,271 To save me or to get the Anti-Life Equation? 388 00:21:15,271 --> 00:21:19,233 Well, if I had to wager, I'd put everything on 389 00:21:19,233 --> 00:21:22,570 to save you because she loves you. 390 00:21:22,570 --> 00:21:24,364 Yeah, She loves me. 391 00:21:24,364 --> 00:21:26,783 Yeah. I can't think of any other reason. 392 00:21:37,418 --> 00:21:41,422 We have worlds to destroy my fairy tale demons. 393 00:21:41,422 --> 00:21:44,884 - Are you with me, Gingerbread Man? - Ya! 394 00:21:44,884 --> 00:21:47,178 Are you all with me? 395 00:21:48,930 --> 00:21:51,766 Then let us begin. 396 00:22:03,277 --> 00:22:06,739 Ah! There's something about a man and a kite. 397 00:22:12,203 --> 00:22:14,580 - Can I ask you something? - Anything, babe. 398 00:22:14,580 --> 00:22:16,791 The equation. What did it say? 399 00:22:16,791 --> 00:22:19,377 It said blue skies ahead. 400 00:22:19,377 --> 00:22:21,379 Aw, love that. 401 00:22:21,379 --> 00:22:22,547 And love you. 402 00:22:22,547 --> 00:22:23,756 Hell, yeah! 403 00:22:35,727 --> 00:22:39,393 ♪ End of season one! ♪ 404 00:22:39,395 --> 00:22:44,02031272

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.