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1
00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:08,466
Give me another!
2
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:09,967
All right, I'm cutting you off.
3
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,011
Well, you can't
fucking cut me off
4
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,470
'cause I'm cutting you off.
5
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,973
When you get drunk,
shit gets broke,
6
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,350
and I'm not dealing with that.
7
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,311
Hey, you don't take your
mommy issues out on me.
8
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:24,940
Get enough of it with the
daddy issues from this one.
9
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:26,191
Wait, has he called?
10
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,152
I do not have
mommy issues, okay?
11
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,821
Well, babe, you have been
a bit of a Moody Judy
12
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,990
since your mom got here,
and maybe it's because
13
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,325
she's being a bit
of a Frigid Franny.
14
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:36,910
Oh... You're cut off too!
15
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:39,163
It just doesn't make any sense!
16
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:43,000
I mean, I saved her from prison.
17
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,044
Would it kill her
to say, "Thank you,"
18
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,921
or, "I love you,"
or I don't know,
19
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:49,214
"Let me braid your hair
20
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,341
while I tell you how
beautiful you are"?
21
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:54,428
So she's distant,
boo-fucking-hoo!
22
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,055
I would have given my left nut
23
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,848
to avoid my mom back in the day.
24
00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:59,767
I thought you lost your
left nut in the war.
25
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,811
I lost my right nut in the war,
so I know what I'm giving up.
26
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:05,356
Glider, your mom just needs
time to get to know you.
27
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,191
Pretty soon, she'll love
you the way I love you.
28
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,151
I mean, maybe not exactly
the way I love you.
29
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,361
Well, I mean, almost,
30
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:12,488
but just it was
with less tongue.
31
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,365
And hands.
32
00:01:13,366 --> 00:01:15,282
And penis probably.
33
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,659
Chuck, I get your point!
34
00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:21,205
But I'm tired of waiting
to have a relationship.
35
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:22,706
She's here now.
36
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,291
Do you know what you need?
37
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:27,127
A good, old-fashioned
mother-daughter day.
38
00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:30,172
Mother/Daughter Day?
Ooh, great movie.
39
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:32,174
Just watched it the other night.
40
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,550
You're my professor
41
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:35,928
and my biological mother.
42
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,763
Yeah, she is.
43
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,390
That's right, my
daughter/student.
44
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,266
And you need a detention
45
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,310
and a spanking.
46
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:44,937
Spank me, Mommy!
47
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,064
Honey, don't look!
48
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,525
Why? That's how you learn.
49
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:52,236
I guess a mother-daughter
day could be nice.
50
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:55,739
Not like that.
51
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,867
But what do daughters
even do with their moms?
52
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,494
Come on, babe. I'm
sure you have stuff
53
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,413
you always wished you
could do with your mom.
54
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:05,082
I remember in junior high
I saw this girl Beatrice
55
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,250
at the mall with her mom.
56
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,501
They had this whole day together
57
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:08,627
where they got
their ears pierced
58
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,337
and did glamour shots together.
59
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:11,588
That sounds nice.
60
00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:13,090
I wanted to gouge
Beatrice's eyes out.
61
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,883
Put that bump back
on her Greek nose.
62
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,093
Babe, that sounds like
63
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,594
the perfect mother-daughter day.
64
00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:20,431
And so you have some
space, I won't be coming.
65
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,683
- Oh, I'll be coming.
- You'll be dead!
66
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:26,145
And speaking of Mom.
67
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,439
Uh, Chuck. Chuck,
what are you doing?
68
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,441
Trust me. Moms love me.
69
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,527
In high school, I was voted
"Most Non-Threatening."
70
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:36,030
Lisa, you never told me
you had a little sister.
71
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,948
Ba-bam, ba-boom.
72
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,283
Lovely.
73
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,118
Any chance they come
with a pisco sour?
74
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,202
Yeah.
75
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,746
That's a complicated drink.
76
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:46,123
- Uh, it takes a while to make.
- Then I'll take two.
77
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:49,001
Coming right, uh... eventually.
78
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,628
Uh, Mom?
79
00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,839
- Mom?
- Oh, right. That's me.
80
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,215
I was thinking that maybe
81
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,759
we could spend the day together.
82
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,011
Yeah, sure. Whatever gets
me out of this shit hole.
83
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,805
Jeez, have they even cleaned
the place in the last 40 years?
84
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:04,224
Goddamn it, that was loud!
85
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:07,144
Hey, will everyone please
shut their yappin' holes
86
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,854
and get your sittin'
holes in place
87
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,315
for my brother's funeral?
88
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,819
♪ Hell yeah! ♪
89
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,113
What can I say about Joe?
90
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:21,367
He had enough heart, courage,
and brains for the both of us.
91
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,619
Wrap it up, Dorothy. Some
of us gotta take a piss.
92
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,371
Some of us can hold it in!
93
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,039
Now, as I was saying...
94
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,499
Joe Dubelz,
95
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,584
I don't know if you're
up there, buddy,
96
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,002
but I am here at your funeral
97
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,380
celebrating your
accomplishments,
98
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,964
and I sure could use some help
99
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:39,802
asking the most beautiful
woman in the world on a date.
100
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:44,556
She's like an angel wrapped
in prosciutto. Like a date.
101
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:48,477
Ooh, that's a good
opener to ask for a date.
102
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,771
I wish Moe would
shut the fuck up
103
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,148
so I could make
my move on Becca.
104
00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:54,566
The fuck did you just say?
105
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:58,028
Oh, God, did I just
say that part out loud?
106
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,282
Damn you, internal monologue!
107
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,581
Goddamn it!
108
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,834
I got you a couple more
of those pisco sours
109
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,335
in case you get thirsty.
110
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,878
Technology getting you down?
111
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,839
Ah, it's gotta be hard
adjusting to the modern age
112
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,549
after being in the
clinker for so long.
113
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,884
I'm familiar with
technology, you nitwit!
114
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,387
Rent is way more
expensive than I remember.
115
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:24,805
And it seems like
it'll be a while
116
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,724
before I can afford to
get out of this dump.
117
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:29,560
Well, you are more than welcome
to stay with me and Glides
118
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,478
as long as you like,
free of charge,
119
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:33,856
and maybe one day you
can return the favs
120
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,566
by babysitting our
little kite babies.
121
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:36,859
Did you knock her up?
122
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:37,985
What? No.
123
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,528
And you have my word.
124
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,114
I will always use protection
until I put a ring on it.
125
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,658
Ugh. Whatever. Listen,
you seem nice enough,
126
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,535
but I've been around
guys like you before.
127
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,245
You have no money, no prospects,
128
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,456
and worst of all,
no powers. JBH.
129
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,583
- "JBH"?
- Just being honest.
130
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,793
Look, I'm not saying
you're not right for Lisa.
131
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,422
I'm saying you're
not right for anyone!
132
00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,923
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
133
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:02,092
Chuck and I were just getting
to know each other better.
134
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,093
Weren't we, Chuck?
135
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,261
Chuck?
136
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,554
- Chuck?
- What?
137
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,015
Uh, me? Uh, yes. Uh...
138
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,642
I will see myself out.
139
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,478
So, are we getting
out of here or what?
140
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,730
Yeah. You know, I
have some thoughts
141
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,524
on what we could do for
our mother-daughter day.
142
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:19,360
- Just like the movie!
- Not like the movie!
143
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,111
Oh, right, that.
144
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,363
What did you have in mind?
145
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,239
Oh, nothing crazy
specific. Just...
146
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,409
Did someone leave this detailed
itinerary in the stockroom?
147
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,329
- Not me.
- "11:00 a.m. Get ears pierced.
148
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,622
Ask why she never called."
149
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,207
Oh, you know,
maybe that's, uh...
150
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,875
that's probably
that other girl...
151
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,502
"1:30 p.m. Glamour shots."
152
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,379
"Ask if she also has
heavy period flow."
153
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:41,256
You know, Malice, I'm
sure whoever's that is
154
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:42,383
wanted it to be private.
155
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,842
And it looks like you circled
156
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,469
where the tears had
fallen while you wrote it.
157
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,888
Okay, I'm just...
158
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:48,972
So, shall we?
159
00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:51,558
Just the two of us all day?
160
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:54,103
Hey, Malice, you look fun.
161
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,187
Why don't you join us?
162
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,730
On mother-daughter day?
163
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:59,316
It doesn't have to be
mother-daughter day.
164
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,984
It can be hot girl day!
165
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,653
Right, Malice?
166
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,613
- Oh, I'm sure Malice doesn't want...
- I'll come.
167
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,365
All my rich friends
are ghosting me,
168
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,950
so I'll slum it with you poors.
169
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,077
Besides, I've been meaning
to get my nipples pierced.
170
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,788
Well, actually, we were
getting our ears pierced.
171
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,499
Oh, but nipples sound
so much more fun.
172
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,792
Let's do that.
173
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,502
Ugh!
174
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,796
Giuseppe is the best.
175
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,340
He tailored the suit my
grandfather was buried in.
176
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:24,967
Still holds up. Okay, Giuseppe,
177
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,844
these are my digging-a-hole-
in-the-desert pants.
178
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:28,971
So, make sure the stitching
down there is tight.
179
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,848
But not too tight. That
shit needs to breathe.
180
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,891
- Don't want no yeast infection.
- Yeast infection?
181
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,019
She thinks we're making
bagels down there.
182
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,357
You make me laugh so hard
I poke you with the needle!
183
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:43,193
Ah, you are my best...
184
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,029
How-a 'bout-a you
shut-a the fuck up?
185
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,489
You just killed the best
mob tailor in lower Gotham!
186
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,033
You say that like I
should give a shit.
187
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:51,535
Listen, doll face, I got
a way of doing business,
188
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,120
and I don't need
you interfering.
189
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,164
Joe would've never
disrespected me like that.
190
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,082
Joe is dead. Get used to it.
191
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,500
You better watch your mouth.
192
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,085
You better watch your head!
193
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,005
It's just... I... I don't
know. I mean, what...
194
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,757
what if Rebecca is
right, you know?
195
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,509
Why... why... why is
Glider even with me?
196
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:10,095
I'm just a loser with no powers.
197
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,430
What about me?
198
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,557
If Becca finds out
that I'm besties
199
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,393
with a pathetic, no-power loser,
200
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,853
I'll never have a chance.
201
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,481
JBH, Rebecca is way
out of your league.
202
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:23,650
JBH, Glider is out of yours!
203
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,736
JB-fucking-H.
204
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,404
Will you two knock it off?
205
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,781
Face it, Bane.
206
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,574
It ain't gonna
happen with Rebecca.
207
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,701
Face it? I would rather die!
208
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,078
You're not gonna die.
209
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,454
You're gonna get over it.
210
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,831
How do you get over a broad?
You get under another one.
211
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,249
And you.
212
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,668
You want a power?
213
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:43,629
Then stop being a
pussy and get one.
214
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,923
Get one? I can't
just go to a store
215
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:48,300
and be like, "One
power, please."
216
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,927
"One power, please."
"One power..."
217
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,388
Hey, this is what
you're going to do.
218
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:55,057
You go to this address,
tell him you want a power.
219
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,101
Tell him I sent you, and please,
220
00:07:57,102 --> 00:08:00,771
for the love of God,
don't say, "Please."
221
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:03,607
Like you just did?
222
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,193
Oh, Glider, these
would look great on you
223
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,903
and really distract
from that hairline.
224
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,114
Oh, you mean like
wearing a headband?
225
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,323
Boom! Right, Mom?
226
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,283
Lisa, they have your birthstone.
227
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,077
That's, uh, not my birthstone.
228
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:17,621
And I am not getting
my nipples pierced.
229
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:20,082
But these would make
them look so much cuter.
230
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,376
Well, Kite Man's never
had any complaints.
231
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:24,086
Then maybe your
next boyfriend will.
232
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:27,172
Yeah, everyone knows you pierce
for the boyfriend you want,
233
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,549
not the boyfriend you have.
234
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,384
Wait, what do you mean
my next boyfriend?
235
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:31,969
Oh, my God. Look at these.
236
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,805
Malice, don't you think
they would look great on me?
237
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,682
Ah! Twinsies!
238
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,183
We have to get them.
239
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,727
You're not twinsies!
240
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,521
If anybody is going
to make a trashy,
241
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,565
life altering decision
with my mom today
242
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:45,816
that could possibly
get infected,
243
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,653
it is going to be me!
244
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,991
More wine for the lady?
245
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,243
Well, I don't know
about the lady,
246
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:57,828
but I'll have some more.
247
00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,288
Huh?
248
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,165
Oh, I get it!
249
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,499
It was in jest!
250
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,503
I... I... Yeah, I'm so
surprised you called.
251
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,714
I mean, I haven't heard from
you since Valentine's Day.
252
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,091
I, uh, thought it
might be awkward,
253
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:14,803
considering that I fucked your
entire apartment building.
254
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,014
Oh, that. Well, it's
only a building.
255
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:19,266
I'm just glad to hear
there isn't another woman.
256
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,185
Another woman?
257
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,896
Uh-oh, perhaps she
knows about Becca.
258
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:27,483
Nonsense, Bane. There is no
way she could know the secrets
259
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:28,609
of your soul...
260
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,194
Or your innermost thoughts.
261
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:33,155
Like how this fried calamari
will tear through my colon
262
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,532
like this woman does
through my heart.
263
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:38,535
Aw, Bane, that's so sweet.
264
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,871
Damn you, inner monolo...
265
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,207
Wait, which part of
that did you hear?
266
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:46,001
You know, it's not often
that a guy like you
267
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,753
wines and dines a girl like me.
268
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,838
Ah, is it because of all
269
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:52,716
the dominatrix-ization
that you do?
270
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,135
Yeah, I've never been
out to dinner with a guy
271
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:58,222
that didn't end with me putting
a cigarette out in his asshole.
272
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:01,517
But you, you see me as
so much more than that.
273
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,769
I... I do?
274
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,189
You're the real deal, Bane.
275
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:25,332
Huh. Oh. Um, hey!
Etrigan, my favorite poet!
276
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,834
Have we met before?
277
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,211
I don't believe I've
seen you at my store.
278
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,255
Ah, no, but, um...
279
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:35,968
Sean Noonan told me to
tell you that he sent me.
280
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,220
It's about getting
a power, so...
281
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,596
Well, not much I can do.
282
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:41,432
Exit's to the left.
I bid you adieu.
283
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,225
But Sean... Sean Noonan...
284
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:44,935
Is behind the times.
285
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:47,146
This is a subsidiary
of Villigan's now.
286
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,773
Everything's changed,
except my rhymes.
287
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:53,027
Yeah, your rhymes
are hella dope!
288
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,779
Um, but... So, you can't...
you can't give me a power?
289
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,949
Only the boss can sell
you that, my friend.
290
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:01,785
Though I hear she only
has the janky stuff,
291
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,037
nothing high-end.
292
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,496
I'll take whatever she has.
293
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,290
I don't need anything
with too much pizazz.
294
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,250
Hey, hey, hey! Look
what I did there.
295
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,626
And I don't even care.
296
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:12,046
Rhyming is my
thing, you jackass!
297
00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:14,965
You'll never make it through
Helen Villigan's tower.
298
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:18,719
And even if you do, I doubt
she'll give you power.
299
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,304
Well, I need a power,
300
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:23,141
so I guess I'll have to
give it the old college try.
301
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,478
So, how much do you
think this is gonna hurt?
302
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,854
Never mind.
303
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,397
Can't be worse than
my mom inviting Malice
304
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,775
on mother-daughter day.
At least my mom and I
305
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,318
are spending quality
time together, right?
306
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,694
Right? Right?
307
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,113
That's the whole frickin'
point of this asswipe of a day.
308
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,990
And if we have to get
matching nipple rings to bond,
309
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:42,077
then it's worth a little...
310
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:49,083
Hey! No badge, no entry, sir.
311
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:52,336
Okie dokie! Oh, boy,
you guys must be cold.
312
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:55,631
How about some homemade
mittens for you chilly kittens?
313
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,343
They're real warm
and soft. Thanks.
314
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,181
Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys.
You look a little hangry.
315
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,354
Like I said, Helen
Villigan doesn't see anyone
316
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,480
without an appointment.
317
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,731
Carol,
318
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,774
whether you let
me in to see Helen
319
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:14,983
or you don't let me in,
320
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,528
the thing I really
care about is,
321
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,363
how are you doing?
322
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,701
The only person who ever
asked me that was my dad.
323
00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:25,786
Rest in peace.
324
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:28,122
Go on, Kite Man.
She's in there.
325
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:30,457
And your dad, he's
right up there.
326
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,085
Oh, you...
327
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,174
Wow! That was fantast...
328
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,719
Oh, oh, honey.
329
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,095
Don't worry.
330
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,472
Lots of men don't finish
during intercourse.
331
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:46,640
I can help you if you...
332
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:49,018
No! I can 'jaculate
without you.
333
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:52,229
It's just I've...
done something bad.
334
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,230
Tell me.
335
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,857
I... I promise I
won't whip you.
336
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:55,941
Unless you want me to.
337
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,735
You are too kind.
338
00:12:57,736 --> 00:13:00,279
Uh, you see, I have
given you my body
339
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,241
while my heart belongs to Becca.
340
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,409
Are you angry?
341
00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,578
No, I get it.
342
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,204
I'm never anyone's first choice.
343
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,415
Except when that break
pad suppliers convention
344
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,458
is in town.
345
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:13,709
If it makes you feel better,
346
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,919
I am never anybody's any choice.
347
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,546
What about Becca?
348
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,924
Well, she's not really aware
that my heart belongs to her
349
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,093
or that I exist
as a human being.
350
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,637
You know, Bane,
you deserve better.
351
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,181
You think so?
352
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:29,350
I think I'm just a
girl who was never
353
00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:32,519
anyone's first choice
straddling a boy
354
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,980
who was never
anybody's any choice,
355
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,274
asking him to choose her.
356
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:40,944
I love how you quote
the classics. Ow!
357
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,113
Bane, you're crying again.
358
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,531
It's just that you're tugging
359
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:47,284
on the clamps you
put on me earlier.
360
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:48,327
Oops.
361
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,957
Oh, Betty!
362
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,627
Mom? Malice? Where'd they go?
363
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:59,630
To get glamour shots
next door. Right, Mommy?
364
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:00,881
That's right, sweetheart.
365
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,550
Mother-daughter
days are the best.
366
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:04,844
Oh, fuck off!
367
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:07,971
Kite Man.
368
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,015
I'm impressed you made
it through my security.
369
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:13,143
A smile and a kind
word go a long way.
370
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,479
Wow! So maybe kindness is my...
371
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,106
Power? Oh, God, no.
372
00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:20,567
But you want one. A real
one. That's why you're here.
373
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:21,860
How did you know that?
374
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:22,903
Because I know everything...
375
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,196
through your search history.
376
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,572
You searched, "How
to get a power."
377
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,408
Then rephrased it
six different ways.
378
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,827
"Power," "How to
get free powers,"
379
00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:31,286
"How to download powers."
380
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,163
Then you got distracted
reading the Wikipedia
381
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:34,665
for Austin Powers.
382
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:37,793
"Do I make you horny, baby?"
383
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,294
Um... no, I'm sorry.
384
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,629
You must think I'm a joke.
385
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,673
I think you're tired
of being the joke.
386
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,342
You want to be a big man
on campus, respected.
387
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:48,178
Whoa! I have never
felt so seen.
388
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,930
Can you give me that?
389
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,390
How about right now?
390
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,685
I'm Helen Fucking
Villigan for God's sake.
391
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:56,520
But everything has a price.
392
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:57,855
Well, how much?
393
00:14:57,856 --> 00:15:00,190
Please put away your
dinosaur wallet.
394
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,442
It's not about the money.
395
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:04,028
It's something
far more valuable.
396
00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:06,363
The essence of you...
397
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:08,824
Kite Man.
398
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:12,202
My kite? You want my kite?
399
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:15,205
But my... my kite is who I am.
400
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:17,207
Isn't that what
you want to change?
401
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:20,044
Do you want to be
the boy you are now
402
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,880
or the man you could become?
403
00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,174
Huh.
404
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:36,977
Sandy...
405
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,270
may I have this dance?
406
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,773
- Uh, no.
- Oh. Uh...
407
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:43,693
I mean, hell yeah.
408
00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:58,207
Hm.
409
00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,250
Saying goodbye to you
410
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,877
is the hardest thing
411
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:05,255
I have ever had to
do, my little buddy.
412
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,633
But as much as I love you...
413
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,426
I love Glider more.
414
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,638
All right, then.
415
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,767
Sign here, here, and here.
416
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:20,355
Goodbye, Kite Man.
417
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,616
Ugh! I planned this
whole day for us,
418
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,785
and it feels like you don't
even want to be around me!
419
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:37,121
Maybe it's because she
doesn't want to be around you.
420
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:38,956
That is not true!
421
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:40,332
- Is that true?
- Ugh!
422
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,876
Listen, I just got out
of the freaking pit,
423
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,963
and I don't want to play
mommy to some grown-ass kid.
424
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:49,800
You don't have to play mommy,
you are my fucking mommy!
425
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,135
And I don't wanna be.
426
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,637
Which is exactly why
I left the first time.
427
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,597
Wait, you left us?
428
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,225
Is this why I don't have
any memories of you?
429
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,561
Well, you'd just
killed your father.
430
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:03,605
I wasn't gonna stick around
for you to liquefy me.
431
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,983
I upended my life to rescue you.
432
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,651
I never I asked you to,
433
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:09,653
just like I never
asked to have a child
434
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:12,406
who can liquefy people when
she's throwing a tantrum.
435
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:15,701
That wasn't my fault. I
never wanted these powers!
436
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:19,329
I guess we both got
things we didn't want.
437
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:22,166
And then she just stabs
him without even asking me.
438
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:23,417
I don't need your permission.
439
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:24,585
What are you, the
stabbing police?
440
00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:26,337
If I was, I'd put
your ass in jail.
441
00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:28,339
Well, how about I put your
ass through this table?
442
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:31,426
Fuck you.
443
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,350
Bull's eye!
444
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,226
And another one!
445
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,146
That's enough.
446
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,482
Take it outside.
447
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,027
Well, thank God that's over.
448
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:52,613
No, nope, not over.
It's not over.
449
00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:54,531
You are a sorry
excuse for a head!
450
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:56,825
You're a sorry
excuse for a body!
451
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,577
I hate you!
452
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,245
Oh, goddamn.
453
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,705
Are you as turned on as I am?
454
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:04,041
I think you can feel the answer.
455
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:11,632
I haven't seen
this movie before.
456
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,884
Ugh, mother-daughter
day would have been
457
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:16,345
a hell of a lot better if
it was just me and Malice.
458
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:18,055
That doesn't make sense!
459
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:20,140
You know what? Maybe
I don't need a mom.
460
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,476
I have Chuck, and
Chuck is enough.
461
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:25,187
Oh, please! Enough with
this Kite Boy already.
462
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,398
- He's Kite Man.
- Whatever.
463
00:18:27,399 --> 00:18:29,775
I need to take a dump
because somebody wanted
464
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:30,859
to eat at Hardee's.
465
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,112
The bathroom's in the...
466
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:34,780
You know what, actually,
467
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,573
use the one at the
end of the hall.
468
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,534
The one with all this
"do not use" tape on it?
469
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:41,495
Oh, we put that on
there so no one uses it
470
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,831
and it's clean for
guests like you.
471
00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:45,332
Good, then I don't have to look
472
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,292
at any of Kite Boy's pubes.
473
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,378
You know what, first of all,
474
00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,380
Chuck doesn't have pubes.
475
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,716
He's as hairless as a dolphin.
476
00:18:53,717 --> 00:18:56,385
Even more important, he is kind.
477
00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:59,221
He knows who he is, and
he is a better person
478
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:00,264
than you'll ever be.
479
00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,277
My kite!
480
00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:15,779
"Oh, my kite! My kite!"
481
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:19,950
Stupid baby. Only
babies have kites.
482
00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,244
Wait, aren't you Kite Man?
483
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:23,370
Kite Man's dead.
484
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:24,913
They call me...
485
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:28,417
Beast Mode!
486
00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:30,586
Pew, pew, pew!
487
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:33,297
Where I go, you cannot follow
488
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:36,133
'cause you gotta be 21 or older.
489
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:39,595
- What up, fuckers?
- "BM"?
490
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:43,182
Hey, guys, a bowel
movement just entered.
491
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:49,313
That's what your
mom said last night.
492
00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,190
Now, less talk-y, more pour-y.
493
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:53,942
Hold on a second.
You got a power?
494
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:57,196
More like a power got me.
495
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:09,958
Oh, my God, you got
the douche power.
496
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:13,545
And this is a douche-free
establishment.
497
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:16,173
Fellas, get him outta here.
498
00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:19,051
Okay, Cash. Let's Tango.
499
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,969
Whuppah!
500
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:25,099
Whuppah!
501
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,517
Whu-bam!
502
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:29,895
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Why are
you hitting yourself?
503
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:33,148
Fuck you.
504
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:35,109
Suck it! Boom!
505
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,904
What is going on?
506
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:40,699
Chuck. Is that...
507
00:20:42,534 --> 00:20:44,451
Maybe we should talk upstairs?
508
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,955
Someone's anxious
to get me in bed.
509
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:50,207
What the hell is wrong with you?
510
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:53,585
I think what you mean is, what
the hell is right with me.
511
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,505
And what's right is
that I got a power
512
00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:59,842
that is cooler than yours.
513
00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:01,218
Oh, yeah.
514
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:04,054
Ugh, I can't believe
you did this.
515
00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:05,389
Just look at you!
516
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,474
Yeah. Look at that.
You're welcome.
517
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:08,934
But you're being
such an ungrateful B
518
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,270
that I might just re-gift
myself to someone else.
519
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:13,772
Please. Do me the
favor of re-gifting
520
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,191
whatever this is
to someone else.
521
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,318
I don't want it.
522
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:19,820
Yeah. Okay.
523
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:21,905
And you think you're gonna
find someone to love you?
524
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:24,826
You can't even get your
own mother to love you.
525
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:26,578
Get out.
526
00:21:26,579 --> 00:21:27,745
I'm not getting
out. You get out.
527
00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:30,039
I am not going to ask you again.
528
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,582
Oh, or what?
529
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:34,084
You're gonna go into your
fugue state and kill me?
530
00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:35,419
Oh, please.
531
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:39,173
I am warning you! Take
your shit and leave!
532
00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:40,299
Yeah, okay, fine.
533
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:41,967
See you again, never!
534
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,053
I don't even want
to be in this place,
535
00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:45,429
'cause you know why?
536
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:48,516
This place is too small
for my giant dick.
537
00:21:54,898 --> 00:21:56,190
Bip, bap, boom.
538
00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:57,441
Hey.
539
00:21:57,442 --> 00:22:00,486
Hey, nerd. Whuppah!
540
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:03,197
My lunch money!
541
00:22:03,198 --> 00:22:05,991
Boss, are you sure he's
the right guy for the job?
542
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:07,242
He's kind of a douche.
543
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:10,747
He's absolutely perfect.
544
00:22:49,661 --> 00:22:51,705
♪ Hell yeah! ♪39220
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