All language subtitles for Doctor Who Horror of Glam Rock

(Irish) Will you come to us? I'm
tuned in. Will it be tonight? Here?

(Shaking.)
Oh, Doctor... I don't feel at all well.

Hang on. Nearly through.
Oh... I think I'm gonna be sick.

What?

I said, I think I'm gonna...
throw up! (shaking stops.) Oh.

Yes, sorry about that. We just went
through a little Time eddy in the Vortex.

Whatever it was, it's made
me carsick. Or Tardis-sick,

or whatever. Where's my Ibuprofen?
Why do I get the feeling your next

words are going to be, are we…
Are we nearly there yet?

Let's stop off en route for some
fresh air and a bite to eat, shall we?

Finally. Some consideration for the
passenger. Now, if only we had a radio.

♫Somewhere out in hyperspace,
exists a race without a face. The

only ones who claim this place,
the Only Ones. Somewhere deep

inside your shell, exists a heaven and
a hell. Tt's there these creatures like

to dwell, the Only Ones. So if you're
different and you don't fit in. If others say ♫

(continues under dialogue)
the bands wind up here in the middle of the night,

Trisha. If you sit in there long enough, you'll
get to see all the stars there are. Best sausage

and chips you'll
ever get.

(Irish) It just looks like a
grotty old Motorway Services.

Yeah, but Trisha love, look at me. Who'd have
thought I was the most dynamic and powerful

manager in the biz.
Oh, I would, Arnold.

Yeah, all right, love. Not while I'm driving. Just
you wake your brother up. Tell him we're getting

out, stretch our legs.
Tommy? Come on, sweetheart. Tommy!

I think he's in one of his trances, Arnold.
Trances? I'll give him trances.

Tell him to stir hisself. We're
pulling in before this weather gets any

more inclement. It's like the call
of the bleeding wild out there.

Get your jacket on, Tommy. Wrap up.
Right,

let's get inside, get some of this
grub. Now, listen, listen, there's

sausages in here, I tell you,
they are to die for. They are wonderful. Well,

you can only have one cos
you're a little thing anyway.

Tommy, stop dawdling. Sausage
and chips, remember. Cup of tea?

They're here, Trisha. They're
already here, ahead of us.

Come on!
Oh, it's a wonder

bits aren't dropping off of me, it's that
cold. Oh, who is that fool in the top hat?

Funny outfit to wear hitchhiking.
Come on, let's get you two

inside. Brr! Oh dear. Anyway, tomorrow now...
(drunk) Just needed to get away. From the music

business, from Pat, from everyone. I just wish I'd

dressed up warmer. Can't go back
now. Pat'll think I'm daft. Rock

'n' roll isn't in your destiny, son. Not any
more. Now you've broken up the band, and… Yeah,

yeah, yeah, I heard you the
first time, you... you...

monster, you.
(Growl.)

Oh, cripes.
(Screaming.)

Hard shoulder.

Good job the roads aren't that busy.
Yeah, you'd be mad to go out in this.

I've never seen snow like it.
But now I have. Can we go?

Look, there.
A café?

A proper, old-style motorway services.
Oh, you're gonna love this, Lucie.

Old-style? Doctor, what year is this?
It's 1974. I bet they'll have those ketchup

things in the shape of tomatoes.
Before I was born. Always looks

a bit rubbish on the telly. Tacky. Why 1974?
I was trying for your time. This is as close

as I could get. As close as I'm allowed to get.
Well, this is the Dark Ages, Doctor. It's nowhere

near where I come from. I bet it's down South too.
You humans can be so parochial. Think about it,

Lucie. Glam Rock. Bowie and Bolan and Eno.
Electronic music is in its infancy.

Wow, right. I like a bit of
handbag, don't you, Doctor?

Not a great deal, no.
Oh, you surprise me.

And I don't like this either. There's something
wrong. Look. Lights flickering in the services.

I can hardly s... Doctor, mind
your feet! There's something...

Oh.
Someone.

Nothing can be done for him, I don't think.
He's been... savaged, and just left here... Oh,

and look what he's wearing.
I wouldn't be seen dead

in...
Have some

respect, Lucie, the man's been torn to pieces.
All right. Don't go on about it. Who is... was he?

Glittery top hat, tinsel feather boa, stack-heeled
boots and silver eye-shadow. That points to just

one thing.
Tranny pile-up on the M62?

It means I got the year right. It
is 1974, and this is Nadir Services,

just outside Bramlington, and
it's going to be a long night.

I'm really sorry for coming in
here and crying all over you.

(Una Stubbs) You wouldn't be the
first, dear. I've seen it all,

believe you me. Don't you worry. It's nice to
be thought of as a person for a change. Most

of them who stop here, they just
want egg and chips. I could be

a machine for all they care,
slopping it out. Beans with it, love?

MAN: Uh? Oh. oh aye.
(Slops them out.)

You're a good listener, Flo.
Well, you get starved of

human company here. Place is full of
musicians. Careful, plate's hot. There's

sauce on the tables.
MAN: Oh yeah. Thank you.

Who'd have thought I'd shed
real tears over Bendy Roger.

Was that him who just stomped out?
Yeah. What you saw there was him breaking up the

band, forever. Methylated Spirits is no longer a
going concern. Well, it was a bit of a foregone

conclusion once we lost Wendy
the singer in Bramlington. And

the drummer. Or rather,
used to be the drummer. Pat.

Has he just gone and left you
here, then, this Bendy Rogers?

Story of my life. 'Ere, give us
another egg. I've been kicked out

of more bands than you've had... Well,
maybe not. I just thought, this time,

me and Bendy and Wendy, we could make a go of it.
Do you know, I've seen a lot of dreams crash

and burn just standing here,
serving them dinners in the

middle of the night. It breaks your heart.
You must have seen 'em all, working 'ere.

Mmm. Hendrix, Lulu, the Wombles. I don't
think it does to have dreams, you know.

Really?
For every star you see, there's a lot

of darkness and obscurity all around them.
What?

It's not everyone who makes it.
Well, I know that all right.

Now what? Oh, great. Power cut.
Hang on. I think they're coming back on.

Mostly, anyway.
Yeah but for how long?

We could be trapped out 'ere. No lights,
no heating. I've not got any transport.

I have. I'm parked in the staff car park.
I'm finishing my shift soon, thank God.

Maybe I could...
Hang on. I'd better

serve this lot.
Oh. It's him.

Who?
Arnold Korns,

the famous manager. He came to see my band once.
Oh, nice.

He hated us. Bendy Roger just about belted him.
Are you still open? We saw the lights going funny,

thought you might be closing down for the night.
We're always open. What will it be?

Well, my two young protégés and I will have the
full English, please. Look around you, youngsters.

This place is legendary. Look.
There's not many here. Just a few old roadies.

It's a rough night, my love.
Here you are. Oh, aren't you

those Tomorrow People. What's your names
now - no, wait a minute, don't tell me.

Oh... Yes, that's it. Tommy and Trisha Tomorrow.
The very same. The rising young hopefuls of the

pop world. Madam, it does my heart good to
have my young stars recognised in public.

I've heard your song. Hoping to
be in the Charts this Sunday, eh?

Oh, not hoping to be. Going to be. While we're
on their way to London this very night to record

their first appearance on Top Of The Pops.
Wow! Oh, congratulations. That's marvellous!

Have an extra banger.
Oh, ta.

Do you hear that, Tommy? The lady
recognised us. She knew who we are.

Did she. Marvellous.
Oh, come on, Tom. This isn't like you.

And what am I like, Trisha? I don't know any more.
Neither do I. But you give me the willies,

sunshine, that's for sure.
Now, now, my loves, come on.

Let's sit over there by the radiator.
Oh! At least we're out of that blizzard.

We've got to find whoever's in charge here.
What could have done that? Killed him like that.

Something large. Looked like claw marks to me.
Some kind of escaped animal?

Human animal or monster animal or animal animal.
Don't know yet. Let's get some tea and ask

the nice lady at the counter
if we can talk to someone.

Urgh. Doesn't look too clean. I reckon
this'd be shut down in my time...

Shh! Hello there. I'm the
Doctor and this is Lucie, and...

Sorry, love. End of my
shift. I'm shutting up shop.

But we're gagging for a cuppa.
Dirty Linda'll be on at ten if

she gets here through this snow. Me,
I'm off. Pat? Do you want a lift, pet?

Sure thing, Flo.
Tell them, Doctor. Go on, g... Oh,

great. Too late, they've gone.
Ah well, the tea in these places

is never quite right anyway. It's
like having a mouthful of copper

coins.
Hey, speaking of copper coins, this phone's kaput.

Try them all. We've got to get the police.
Hello?

Ahem. I... I couldn't help overhearing...
Hello?

... your conversation. Arnold
Korns, manager to the stars.

The Doctor. I'm in the star
business too, in a way.

Yeah, look, what's going on?
What's all this about police?

All the lines are dead, Doctor.
Hmm, thought they might be.

What is all this palaver?
Mister Korns, there's a corpse out

there in the car park.
What?

The savaged body of a dead Glam rocker.
A dead Glam rocker?

What's that?
Er, keep your voice down,

Trisha. Savaged, did you say?
Savaged? You're having us on.

It's true. There's something out
there. It just about ripped him apart.

What did he want, that bloke with the girl?
A new image, if you ask me.

He looked like some old hippy.
It's very good of you, Flo, to offer me a lift.

I'm glad of the company, to be honest. I
wouldn't relish driving in this alone. It's

bad enough when we...
Shh! What was that?

What? I didn't hear anything.
Oh, you're imagining it.

(Growl.)
There!

Come on, let's get in the car.
(Growl.)

Oh my dear Aunt Fanny. What is that?
I don't know, and I don't wanna know. Now,

run! This is my Mini here.
Hurry up!

Oh, damn. I dropped the keys under there.
Hurry! Oh my God! They're coming straight at us.

Got them.
Too late. Let's get back

inside before those things reach us.
Quick. Back way in. Follow me.

(Growls, crash.)
My Mini! My pride and joy!

Forget the car and worry about
us. Where's this back door?

This way. Follow me.
There's one right behind us.

Quick! Lock the door.
(Door closes.)

(sotto) Oh... It's right... it's right
outside. Do you think it can smell us?

(sotto) Come on. We've got to tell the others.
Give me a hand with this freezer first.

Are you still there? Are you listening to me?
Right everyone, gather round please.

I think we'd better make some plans.
I like your bloke. Commanding, isn't he?

He's not my bloke.
Yeah, right. I'm Trisha Tomorrow, by the way.

I'm Lucie. From the day after tomorrow.
Neat. Oh, and this is my brother,

Tommy, in a trance.
Who is he to take over,

that bloke in all that velvet tat?
That's the Doctor. He always takes over.

It's her bloke.
No, he's not!

Oh I see, yeah.
Listen, we've got a situation here, one of extreme

danger to all of us. Now, I suggest we pool our
resources, it looks as if we're going to

be trapped here for a little while yet...
We've seen them. Out there. Creatures in the snow.

Creatures?
Bear things,

with scales and tails. Horrible looking.
Right, you lot, let's get moving. Get all these

tables stacked up and barricade the main doors.
Lights are going again. That's all we need.

Is the back secure?
Should be. We rammed the freezer

cabinet right up against the door.
Very resourceful. I'm impressed.

Oh.
Right,

we'll secure the main entrance here. Lucie,
have a scout around. Take someone with you.

Check if there are any other ways in.
Okay, Doctor.

There's the glass walkway over to the northbound
café on the other side of the motorway.

We'll need to block that up somehow.
You believe us?

I'm sorry?
We've just told you that

there's huge fanged bear-like creatures
out there in the snow, and you believed

us. You didn't laugh. You didn't
question. You just believed us.

Of course.
I'm not sure I would.

You wouldn't believe half of the things I've seen.
(Stylophone playing.)

Tommy, leave that for now. Come on, Lucie. Me
and Tommy will come with you to this glass bridge

thing.
Right you are.

Take care, Lucie.
We will. See ya.

See ya.
Wouldn't wanna be ya.

Here we are. Stairway to Heaven.
Come on, we'd better start climbing.

Wait.
What for?

My brother.
Look, we can't mess about.

They might have got in already.
Tommy, come on! Oh,

he's always dawdled. All his life.
How can we barricade a whole glass tunnel?

This is just weird. You go on like it's normal.
Mmm, I've got used to weird stuff lately. Trish,

did that woman seem familiar to you?
Who? The one serving?

No, the one in all the leathers. She puts me
in mind of someone, only I can't think who.

Ah, I'd recognise her if she was famous.
Yeah. She's probably no one.

We're all no one. Just little
specks on this tiny world.

Tommy, stop it. You know I hate
it when you talk like that.

(Stylophone playing.)
He's kind of right, though.

Maybe. But I've had enough of him going on like
that, all cosmic and spooky. He changed, ever

since he started playing with that stupid thing!
What is it?

A Stylophone. It's like a little tiny
piano thing. Electronic. Bowie had one

so of course Tommy has to
have one too. It's what

he writes all our songs on.
Tommy? Tommy, I really don't

think it's a good idea to play that right now.
He's gonna write us a biggie, he says, then we can

retire and take our Mam off to live in Barbados.
He tells the fans, the songs,

they come to him from space.
They'll be here very soon.

Well, Doctor, I've known some eccentric stars.
Nancy Babcock reckoned her cat used to dictate all

her lyrics to her. She was a creative genius,

you see. You have to be very
careful. you can't muck about with

their muses.
Quite. Er, here, you lot,

help with shifting these tables.
RON: What's all this about, mate?

And you are?
RON: Ron, the roadie.

Well, Ron the roadie, we need the barricade
to be at least as tall as the doorway.

And I am not about to strangle the golden goose as
it were. But this lad, for all his genius, I think

he's gone a bit off the deep end.
Just a bit caught up in his daydreams,

surely? A bit higher, Fl., That...
that's it, that's it. Ron, could

you give her a hand?
RON: Sorry, love.

Don't you love me.
This is no good, you know,

if we're jammed in here all night.
I've got to get to London. Those two

are on Top Of The Pops tomorrow.
I don't think any of us

will be going anywhere tonight.
But Top Of The Pops. Do you realise how

hard it is to get a new act on there?
If you go out there tonight,

the only thing you'll be on is the news.
I thought you'd understand, being in showbiz.

What?
Well, the costume, the wig.

This is quite sober where I come from.
It's a good gimmick Tommy, I'll give you

that. Men from space talking to ya.
It's true.

Wow. Here we are. Good view from up here.
There's no traffic now on the motorway. Just the

blizzard, us, and those... things
down there in the car park.

This is the best place to call them
from. Out here. Suspended here.

(Stylophone playing.)
Tommy, put that thing down.

Wait. Trisha, look at his face.
It's talking to me, Trisha. They

are communicating with me, again.
Who, Tommy? Who are you on about?

The Only Ones. They say they're going
to make it through, this very night.

(Faint voices.)
Hang on, can you hear it?

It's going haywire! Get it off him!
They've promised me. The Only Ones are coming.

Trisha, there's voices coming out of there.
We will be with you, Tommy. If you keep on this

wavelength we will come to you. Oooo.
That door's still secure, Doctor.

Thank you, Pat.
They're back.

Where?
Just at the edge of the car park. See? Look.

Oh. Oh, crikey.
Magnificent, aren't they?

Oh! That's my Bentley!
They're ripping it to pieces.

Yeah. They tried to do the same to my Mini.
Oh!

Only got as far as the door before they came after
us. Having a good go at your Bentley, aren't they?

Oh!
Really getting stuck in.

Oh! Oh!
I think we'd all

be well-advised to step back from the doors.
They're... they're trying to get in. Doctor,

what on Earth are those creatures?
I don't know. They're like prehistoric mammals,

but not of this world.
Eh? What? Get back you fool,

get away from the glass.
What are you doing here, hmm?

Come away from there, Doctor.
You're making them madder.

There's a reason, isn't there? There's a
reason you're here. I wonder what it is.

This is everything we wanted, Trisha.
Oh Tommy, what have you done?

We wanted them to come to us. We sing our
songs about them and hope they would come.

But they were just songs, Tommy.
No, Trisha. They were always more

than that. This incursion is everything.
Incursion? I don't like the sound of

that. Maybe we should get the Doctor.
I wanted the universe to open up for me,

and it did, Trisha. It proved
to me that there's more. More

than just this.
I think they've retreated, them hairy things.

Yes, but for how long?
Yeah, I want to go out

there. I... I've got to check on my car.
Arnold, it's in pieces. Sit down.

No, I can't just give in.
Just once in your life,

listen to someone properly.
Who are you to talk to me like that?

I'll tell you who I am. Patricia Ryder.
I'm the drummer from Methylated Spirits.

You came to see us once,
at a gig in Crowley on

Sea. You laughed in our faces.
Yeah, I remember. You were absolutely dreadful.

We were ahead of our time, we were. But now
we'll never know, will we? The band's gone up the

bleedin' Swanee and you could've stopped it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on love,

I think I know a hit band when I see one.
Do you mind? Honestly, human beings. Put you

in a situation of dire peril and what do you do?
Squabble about pop music. Now, let's get on.

We've got to make this place secure.
What did you mean, human beings?

Ah, Flo. Why don't you see if there's still power
to the kitchen? We could all do with some tea and

sausage sandwiches or something.
And if there's nothing in the freezer,

we could eat that useless lump of a manager.
Ah.

Not likely, dear. We do have
some standards, you know.

Look, I've had it up to here tonight, seeing my
motor torn to bits, Top Of The bleedin' Pops going

up the Swanee. That daft lad Tommy
coming over all peculiar again.

The Tomorrow Twins. Lucie. With all
this excitement I nearly forgot.

The glass bridge.
I'll fetch them. Stay here, don't do anything.

Lucie, Lucie, where are you. Oh Doctor,
what were you thinking? She's just a kid.

Who's a kid?
Lucie. You're all right.

Just about.
Trisha, Tommy, your manager's on the warpath.

He always is.
You're the Doctor.

That's right. Did Lucie tell you about me?
No.

Yeah.
Oh, right. Did

you check the other side, is it secure?
Didn't even get that far. Tommy wouldn't

leave this bridge. He went a bit
strange with his... what's it

called, Trisha?
Stylophone. I always wanted

one of those. Brilliant.
Stay back.

I wouldn't touch it if I were you. There
was voices or summat coming out of it.

Voices? It's not meant to do that, is it, Tommy?
Go away.

Come on then, Tommy, let's get back to the
others. We'll have to find something to block this

bridge.
Don't block the bridge. They have to come through.

Not the big beasties, Tommy? We don't want
them through, do we? Come on, back below. You

should see what they've done to Arnold's car.
His car? He'll go crackers.

What are you doing, Ron? Ron?
RON: Shh! Keep it down,

lady. I think those things have gone round
the back. If I can make it to the van I can

get help.
You're mad.

You'll never make it.
RON: I've been in worse scrapes.

You ever played Bangor?
Arnold, stop him.

Stop him? Why? Who is he, anyhow?
It's Ron. He's a roadie for Contretemps.

He's trying to get to his
van for help. It's suicide.

(Door opens.)
RON: Put the kettle on loves, I'll be back soon.

Ron, get back in here!
(Door closes.)

Ron! Arnold?
It's his decision. Maybe he'll make it.

(Growling, screams.)
Then again...

Oh my God!
Poor Ron.

Yeah, he's torn apart. Just like my
Bentley, only less expensive to replace.

You're sick!
Look. look, it was

just a light-hearted remark intended to...
Quick, quick! They're coming this way.

Pull the stuff back up! Hurry!
You're inhuman you are, Korns.

Eh?
See a man ripped

apart like that and you care more for your car.
Yeah, my first chart-topper paid for that car.

Ups-a-Daisy by the Four Colins, March 1966.
(Walking over.)

What happened?
What were those screams?

One of our roadies is missing.
Missing? He got himself ripped

to shreds out there.
You let him go out?

Well, you know roadies, Doctor. Once
they get an idea in their thick heads...

You can always reason with people.
No, no, I disagree. We live in a chaotic world.

The best we can do is look out for ourselves.
That's a pretty shameful philosophy.

Yeah, Doctor. Smack him one.
Well said.

I don't think that would help matters. Flo, how's
that feast coming? I've got some youngsters who

need a hot cup of tea.
Things are brewing as we speak.

I can't believe how hungry I was. Is that
bad, when people all around us are being

gobbled up by
monsters?

It's the body's natural reaction to danger.
Don't worry about it. Here, drink this.

Mmm. Ooo, hot! So, that rocker
we found on the hard shoulder?

Must have been killed by some kind of advance
guard. The creatures were just starting to amass,

around some kind of nexus point.
Mmm, we only just missed out on

being the hors d'oeuvres, then.
You could put it that way.

You do this a lot, don't ya?
Hmm?

Danger, like this. It's one thing
after another with you, isn't it?

I don't go looking for trouble.
But it finds you, somehow, every time.

That's true enough.
And me. What a pair

we make, eh? Still, I'm glad I met ya.
I'm glad too. Now, give us a bite of that

doughnut.
Hey!

I want to have a look at that Stylophone of
Tommy's. Do you think we can get it off him?

You'll be lucky, the way he clings onto it.
It's important.

Arnold, sit down, keep calm.
Look, if you're going to sulk,

I'll go and sit with Lucie and her friend.
You will do nothing of the sort. I'm not

letting you out of my sight. We'll
wait till the storm calms and

then we're out of here.
Don't tell me what to do,

Arnold. You don't own me.
Read your contract, Missy. I

think you'll find I do.
(Stylophone playing.)

Now, tell that brother of yours
to come over here. Skulking in

the shadows like that, it's not normal.
And neither is this Doctor chap, if you ask me.

I think the Doctor's all right.
(Stylophone stops.)

The Only Ones say we shouldn't
listen to the Doctor. He's bad.

Here's our dirty plates.
That was great. Thanks, Flo.

What's your Doctor friend say? Can he get us out
safe? My Mini's still in one piece out there,

more or
less.

I don't fancy going out there again. We
almost copped it last time. More tea, Lucie?

Cheers. You're gonna think I'm
crazy, but... have I met you before?

Me? Dunno, love. Most people just
ignore me. Passed-over Pat, that's me.

Oh my God. Pat. Pat Ryder?
Yeah.

Auntie Pat! You're my Auntie Pat, you are!
You what?

It's 1974. Oh, if I'd been thinking straight
I'd have realised right away. Auntie Pat.

You're not making sense, love.
Listen. You're in a band

called Methylated Spirits. You're the
drummer. You have a sister called Mary,

blonde, works in Clarks the shoe shop.
That's all true. Hey, is this mind-reading?

I'm your niece. I'm Lucie.

I don't have a niece.
Brace yourself for this,

Auntie Pat. It's a bit of a shocker. I come
from the future. I've travelled in time

with the Doctor. I've been
plucked out of my own time stream.

You really mean it, don't you?
Yeah.

Well, that explains a lot. Do
you want a biscuit with that?

Trisha, Tommy, all I want to do is help.
Oi, Doctor, leave them kids alone. They're under

exclusive contract to Arnold Korns Enterprises.
Are you going to get us out safe, Doctor?

I shall do everything in my power, yes, but... I
need to understand more about what's happening,

and I think Tommy can help us there.
You'll be lucky. He's in one of his trances.

I see.
We thought he might be

epileptic or a genius or something...
Tommy? Will you talk with me?

They look to him. Hospitals.
They reckon he's like that...

Tommy?
TRISHA:...just 'cos he's sensitive.

Well, I'm sensitive too...
They sing to me, Doctor. Music like no one's

ever heard on Earth. The music of the spheres.
Time travel? On the ring road round Bramlington?

Time and Space, Auntie Pat. Me and the Doctor
can go anywhere. He's told me. The whole universe

is ours, and all of Time too.
Sounds exhausting.

The whole universe? This is a madhouse.
When I was little you always used to say,

get out there, see something
of life, Lucie, before you get

all withered up and bored. Don't be like
me, you said. Make something of yourself.

I said that?
In the future.

Make your life fabulous, that's what you
said. I was your only niece. You never had

any... Oh.
What? What are you saying?

Nothing.
What am I in the future,

seeing as you know so much about it?
You're...

What?
You're nothing, Auntie Pat. I mean… well,

you're not a drummer or a star or anything.
I'm nothing?

I mean, nothing out of the
ordinary. You're just Auntie Pat.

I've had enough of this. I'm not having
these two badmouth me to you, Doctor.

I suggest you go and sit down again, Arnold.
Don't you tell me what to do. Now...

Arnold, you're hurting me.
Stop twisting. I'm keeping a hold of you, and your

little brother there. You're coming with me.
This is silly. Let her go,

Arnold, you'll regret this.
I will if they miss their appointment with stardom

tomorrow, and nothing's going to interfere with
that. Now, come on, through the kitchens.

Ow! You're breaking my wrist, you old get.
Stop moaning. It's a mime performance anyway,

so it won't matter what your fretwork's like. Now,
come on. Tell your brother. Look sharpish.

(Stylophone.)
They're singing to me, Doctor.

What are they saying to you, Tommy?
I can hear their voices.

You keep on listening, Tommy. If them voices
come up with another catchy number, we'll be

laughing.
Leave go of me, Arnold. I mean

it. You and me are finished. You're fired.
Fired? I picked you two up when you

were nothing. You were rubbish.
We still are nothing. We still are rubbish.

Still, look at her clobber, Pat. I've
never seen fabric like that, have you?

Let go of my sister.
Please, Arnold, my fingers are going numb.

You'll do as I say, the pair of you.
And what I say is, we're leaving.

Put the knife down, pet.
You'll have someone's eye out.

And the rest. Hey, where's the Doctor?
I'm here. Stay right back. Don't crowd

him. Don't do anything rash.
There won't be time for rashness,

Doctor. We're not staying here a second longer.
Please, Arnold, leave Tommy behind.

You can take me. I'm not scared.
I need both of you. Now you, old woman.

Old?
Yeah. Give me your car keys.

It... it's only a Mini. And the door's half off.
Do I care? Chuck 'em over.

Arnold, you can't be serious about this.
You've seen those things out there.

I'm the star-maker, Doctor. I know what's
right. Tommy, shift that fridge. Do it.

All right.
Just... just let him do what he

wants. I've seen him like this before.
Arnold, don't.

Now them doors, lad. That's right. Now then,
we're off to the big city, kids, to stardom.

Trisha!
Lucie!

Doctor, you've got to stop
him. You can't let him just...

You're right, I can't.
Be careful, Doctor.

He must be nuts.
Arnold! Get back inside, Arnold.

Leave it, Doctor. We are going.
Trisha, watch out!

Oh no.
(Screams.)

What's happening? Who has it got?
I can't see.

Oh my God.
Trisha!

Trisha. It got Trisha.
(Stylophone playing.)

None of what happens here matters. This is
only planet Earth. She was just a human girl.

Never mind, Tommy.
(Door closes.)

You've not left her out there?

Oh Pat, he was too late. Didn't you see?
Doctor, you're not... Are you all right?

Yes, yes, yes. See to Tommy. He's
withdrawn into himself. You...

Well, I...
You stupid man,

she's dead now and it's your fault.
I... I just want...

I almost left you out there by
yourself to face those things alone.

I was only thinking of them. Tommy
and Trish. They... they said...

they said they wanted stardom.
Let me at him. I'll teach him.

No, Pat. He has to live with himself after this.
Well, I just wanted... I just wanted to help...

No! No!
(Door opens and closes.)

Lucie, I told you to see to Tommy!
I was. He just... Fine. I'll get him back for you.

(Door opens and closes.)
Sometimes I wonder why

I bother with you lot at all.
Tommy! There you are. Are you all right?

She's gone. Trisha's gone.
I know, Tommy, I know. I'm sorry.

Sorry's no good. None of it's
no good. Not without Trisha.

Come back to the kitchen. Talk to the Doctor.
He's no good either. The Only Ones say

he's bad. He made Trisha die.
He was trying to save her, Tommy.

Same difference. What does any of it matter now?
I was only doing it for her. She wanted to see

the aliens too. She wanted to leave
planet Earth as much as I did. I'm going.

Where?
Up there.

The bridge? But Tommy, no, it's not
safe up there, the Doctor said...

They can bring her back. They have
powers, don't they? They can do anything.

No, Tommy. Come back!
Oh! Oh, my leg.

Hey, are you all right?
Ignore him, Flo. He's

just trying to deflect our attention.
No, he's really hurt, Pat. His leg's

all cut up. Ooo! Looks like a plate
of beef stew. What do you reckon,

Doctor? Amputate?
No pl... look, have

you... have you got some codeine?
Oh, just give him something. He'll keep

on otherwise. Look in Lucie's bag.
Is this it? Nice colour.

There'll be Ibuprofen in the front pocket. She
had a tension headache earlier coming through the

Vortex.
Ibu what?

They're like codeine only better.
Oh. What's this funny-looking

little gizmo?
Let me see.

I think I'd better go after Lucie and Tommy,
he's unstable. Will you two be okay with Arnold?

This thing, Doctor. It's
from the future, isn't it?

Yes. It's Lucie's MP3 player.
I thought Lucie was having a laugh,

but it's true, isn't it? You're from
the future. And this… this is a future

thing, isn't it?
Yes,

it's a future thing. Lucie's a future thing, and
I'm most definitely a future thing. We came here

to help. Some good we're doing.
I've seen nowt like it.

You will.
You two

came back to this night especially. You knew
something was going to happen. Bad things like

this.
Sort of.

Could you have stopped them?
Look, can I have those pills or

not? I know you don't think much of me...
Shut up, you. Or I'll zap you with this

empty 3 player.
That's it. Pat,

Flo, I'm getting the first glimmering of a
workable idea, but I'll need you two to help

me. And most of all, we'll need this.
(Stylophone.)

What's that you've got?
It's Tommy's Stylophone. I managed to

get it off him as we came back indoors.
It's just a kid's toy.

We've not got long before he
realises he's lost it. Flo,

you can help me here. Pat, will you go after
Tommy and Lucie? Check that they're all right.

The Only Ones promised they would come for us.
Me and Trish. They would take us away into the

universe.
Why are they called the Only Ones?

Isn't it obvious?
Maybe I'm a bit thick.

The cosmos is a lonely place, devoid of life. Just
us. The sad human race on our little rock, choking

ourselves to death with greed and poison
and hatred, and out there, the Only Ones.

Hang on, kiddo. That's what they told you?
That they're the only aliens in the universe?

That's not
true.

What do you mean?
Well, I'm no expert,

I'm new to this game, but even I know there's
millions and billions of lifeforms out

there, Tommy.
You're lying.

The universe is teeming with life. It's
like the Trafford Centre on Boxing Day.

I don't believe you.
They've lied to you,

Tommy.
(Stylophone.)

He was tuning in to some pretty freaky
frequencies, as one might say in 1974.

What else was it you wanted, Doctor?
A funnel, metal it needs to be. Failing that, a

colander. Not so good on account of all the holes.
What are you going to do with all this stuff?

I'll lash up something. If I can just set
this Stylophone up the way Tommy has it.

He plays with that thing for hours, same
damn tune over and over again. Drives me mad.

You have a radio, Flo? Just an ordinary radio. I
want to reverse its whatsit and make it a thingy.

Hang on, I'll get its back off.
Arnold?

Yes, still here. Not dead yet.
That tune Tommy plays. How does it go?

You what?
Sing it, man.

I can't under stress like this.
You need to remember this

if it's the last thing you do.
Why is the exact tune important, Doctor?

Just a hunch.
♫ Da-dee, da...

You think Tommy's summoned
these aliens here with a tune?

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.
You know what's really out there,

don't you? In space and that.
I do. Really. Yes. Does that shock you?

Not much shocks me at my age, Doctor.
I'm glad someone does know, actually.

Years ago, we thought we knew the lot. These
days, I feel like we don't know anything.

I have days like that too.
I've got it. The tune. Now,

wait. Let me concentrate. ♫ La-dee, da-da...
No. No, it's gone. He took it off me. He stole it!

What are you on about?
Your Doctor. Make him bring back my Stylophone.

Oh, I've found you. You've got to get
away from here. The Doctor says...

I'm not doing what he says!
Look, I know you've had a horrible shock,

luvvie... Oh! What are you doing?
Tommy, let her go.

Not until you make the Doctor come
here. Make him bring back my machine.

I think he means it.
I do.

Oh, look at me. Attacked by some kid. No
wonder I turn out to be nothing in the future.

I didn't mean nothing, Auntie Pat.
Don't call me that. I'm not your Auntie.

Stop talking. Do as I say.
I'll be back in a minute. Don't hurt her.

Do it! Now!
(Arnold singing while the What's

happening? Anything?
Yes, it's beginning to work.

We will take you away. 1974 is no good.
Bramlington City is no good. Come with us

into space, Tommy.
Creepy, aren't they?

Tommy's gonna strangle Auntie
Pat, up on that glass bridge.

Auntie?
He's got Pat?

Watching his sister getting killed
like that, he's gone over the edge. Oh,

what's that horrible noise?
Now, let us come in.

(Glass breaking.)
Oh,

my windows!
Doctor, those creatures, they're coming in!

I think perhaps I was just a bit
too successful with that tune.

What are we going to do now?
Listen, I'll try and hold

them off. Go and save Tommy.
Don't be stupid man, they'll tear you to shreds.

That's no more than the critics
have been doing for years. Now look,

seriously Doctor, my leg is in
a mess. I'll never make it. Might

as well bow out gracefully.
I misjudged you, Arnold.

Oh, I doubt that, Doctor. Now go
on, quick, before I lose me nerve.

Come on, you two. Grab that
stuff. Get up to the bridge.

Got it, Doctor.
Goodbye, Arnold, and good luck.

And Doctor? Tell Tommy I'm sorry about Trish.
I will. Goodbye.

Now, you great hairy louts, do you know who I am?
Oh, poor Arnold.

What about the others? The roadies and that?
It's the Stylophone they're

after. Come on. Up here.
Hang on, Doctor. I'm twice your age.

If only you knew.
You brought my machine?

Let Pat go, Tommy.
You made it work.

I did. Easy, really.
Give it here.

If you give me Pat in exchange.
Have her. She's of no use to me. It's mine.

(Stylophone.)
I'm Top Of The

Pops. Trisha, I'm Britain's Number One.
I'll fetch him such a slap, that lad.

Shh, Auntie Pat.
Here they come.

Is it just me, or is it getting colder?
Tommy, we have come for you.

I knew you would. Welcome. Welcome to my world.

They're beautiful.
They look pretty average to me.

I think they look like proper
aliens, like at the pictures.

Precisely. Wraithlike beauties, androgynous
super-beings. Just what you want in your alien

visitors.
Oh it's you, Doctor. Hello.

Know me, do you?
Only by repute.

They told Tommy that they were the only aliens in
the galaxy. That we were alone apart from them.

Piffle.
Don't mock them, Doctor. They only want

to come in peace. They bring love to planet Earth.
Ask them what makes it worthwhile, coming to a

place like this and befriending the natives.
Stop it, Doctor. You're spoiling it.

They want something from you, Tommy.
They are my friends. They've come

to take me away and show me the cosmos.
I don't think that they are that benign. Ask them.

It's true, isn't it? You came
here because you love me.

We came for that reason. And
of course for the other reason.

The Doctor's right. You've been duped, Tommy.
They probably want to take over the world or

something.
This shabby dump? Don't flatter yourselves.

Tell us what you do want.
Food. Something high in polyunsaturates,

a good source of fibre, bursting with delicious
adrenalin. Something that kicks and squirms

as it goes down. Your teenage
fans, Tommy. That's all we want

of you. For those creatures, the ones you have
already encountered, our corporeal selves.

Ah, so that's it. Earth's merely a
stop-off place for a quick bite to

eat. A Motorway Services, in fact.
Mmm, imagine. All those juicy young

things in a state of absolute frenzy.
And Trisha? She meant nothing to you?

Who?

Trisha, my sister.
Ha! Hardly. It was you who created the music,

Tommy. Only you are vital to our plans.
Everyone else is simply fodder.

We were the Twins. The T... Tomorrow Twins.
You can't have one without the other.

(Thud.)
He's fainted, Doctor.

Leave him be for now. Now, if you'll forgive
me, it's time to break up the band. This might

tingle a
little.

What are you doing?
I'm changing you back into sound.

What, with that lash-up?
Impossible.

Improbable, maybe, but not impossible. You came
here surfing a wave of sound, but that sound

wave can easily be transformed into
a series of troughs by inverting the

output frequency and reversing the
sequence of notes. It's a trick I

learnt from Eno, actually. Anyway, the
upshot is, that you'll be sucked down

the funnel here as swiftly as a Genie into a lamp.
What funnel?

This fu... Flo, where's the funnel? That was
rather crucial to my whole alien-defeating scheme.

I forgot it.
Ah.

Oh, we shall enjoy devouring you, Doctor.
Something's coming up the stairs, Doctor.

What now, Doctor?
Yeah, and it had better be good.

We get... eaten?
That's it?

Er...
Here it comes!

It's all right. It's only me.
ALL: Arnold!

Thought I was dead, did you? Well, those monsters
of yours don't care for a splash of hot chip fat,

let me tell you. Anyhows, I
thought I'd better bring you this.

My funnel.
Yeah. Saw

you'd left it behind.
Oh, well done, Arnold. Chuck it over.

Yeah, see? I can do something right.
To the glass bridge, my brethren. Devour them!

Get a shift on, Doctor.
I'm doing my best, Flo. Now, hold that down

and with any luck the Only Ones will be sucked
through this funnel and end up here.

Hey, that's my MP3!
You lie!

Come on, Doctor, hurry! They're on the stairs.
They're coming up from the other end too.

We're surrounded.
Hold your creatures back.

Why? They're hungry. We're hungry. We'll
finish you off and then merge with Tommy and

get stuck into his fan base.
I can't allow that.

Oh, you can't stop us!
Doctor!

Switch it on, Flo. Do it now.
Who, me?

Yes.
(Backwards music.)

What's happening to the Only
Ones? They're flickering.

The creatures, they're fading too.
Without control, they're nothing.

You've done it, Doctor.
You're sending them all away.

(Silence.)
Yeah, that's better. Looked

a bit nasty there for a second.
Where did they go?

There. Trapped forever on shuffle mode.
(Bleeps of MP3.)

Isn't technology amazing.
Er, I'm not sure I fancy

carrying those monsters around with me.
Might come in handy. Just don't play that track.

Ever.
So, in the future,

I suppose you do this kind of thing a lot?
A fair bit, yeah.

Oh... what... what have you done to my dreams?
Oh dear. He's not going to be very happy.

Serves him right, little devil.
No, leave him to me. I know all

about disillusioned youth.
Where did they go? Why did

they leave me? What's going to happen now?
Hey, not bad lyrics for a song, eh, Doctor?

I've heard worse.
I've released worse. Come on,

Tommy. Let's get you downstairs.
I suppose they'll be wanting something

hot to drink after all tonight's
coming and goings. I'd better get

down to see to it.
You saved the world, you know, Flo.

What else is new? Take care, Doctor.
Lucie? I'd better go give her a hand. Bye, Doctor.

Goodbye, Pat.
Bye... niece.

Bye, Auntie.
Come on. I think it's time we were leaving too.

Storm's lifting.
He really wanted to go with them, you know,

Tommy. He thought they'd take him to see the
universe.

Silly boy.
Is that a bad thing to

want? Would you turn your nose up?
Of course I wouldn't.

If someone offered to show you the cosmos.
I think that would be okay, actually.

Good. Shall we go?
And leave all this

mess? Who will they say caused all this?
Hell's Angels, probably. I almost joined the

Hell's Angels once, did I ever tell you?
No.

The Martian chapter. (receding) Of course, it
was all an elaborate ruse. Jamie and Zoe and I...

Something about crisis makes me
starving. Another bacon sandwich, Pat?

Oh, please. Look. Dawn over the motorway.
Perfect snow. Beautiful. Nothing to disturb

it. You think the Doctor and
Lucie will want summink too?

They've gone. My niece, and I wanted
to ask her all kinds of things.

Perhaps it's for the best, eh?
Maybe.

The future's a funny old place, I reckon.
(Knocking at door.)

What's that? If it's them things...
They've all gone. It'll be the coppers - late.

(Door opens.)
Hello. I'm looking for a Ms Lucie

Miller. I believe she's been here?
Who are you?

I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say.
Well, I'm afraid you've missed her,

love. They've been and gone. We don't know where.
I see.

Was it important?
It's vital I get to her.

Well, won't see her for years
yet, her and her funny friend.

They've gone off travelling again, and
God only knows where they'll be by now.