All language subtitles for Aliens.Gufors.2017.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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- The room was very bright.

And very dark at the same time.

When I saw it, it was huge!

Like a giant knitting needle.

Then I felt it in my navel.

And I started to scream!

But I couldn't hear anything.

I couldn't hear my own screams!

- Could you hear the aliens?

All I heard was this low hum.

Probably from the spaceship.

What did it sound like?

Like my air-conditioner.

I've read about
these abductions,

but now it was happening to me!

- What happened then?

- This creature was
moving towards me.

Carrying something.

Then the alien said,
this is our son.

And I screamed, no it can't be!

It can't be!

I know babies can be ugly.

- Let's back it up a
bit, you were in bed.

Conscious, awake?

- Yes.

- How did you enter the craft?

- There was a beam of light
and I floated up into it.

- What about the ceiling?

- What about it?

- How did you get through it?

- They made a hole.

And then they
stacked up the roof

thingies in a nice
neat little pile.

- You mind if we take a look?

- Well there's
nothing to see now.

It's all been repaired.

- You said, they always.

You've been abducted before?

- Mm.

The next will be my 20th.

They used to come for
me every few months.

But it's much more frequent now.

I am its mother.

It needs me.

It needs me.

- Mrs. Barnes.

Have you ever heard of
the power of suggestion?

- You think this
is all in my mind?

- You did mention
movies and books.

- Look, I have an alien baby.

And I might have to
raise this hideous thing.

I don't know if I should chain

myself to the bed,
or buy diapers.

I got an idea.

Why don't you stay with me?

- What?

- If you hold me all night,

if they take me
they'll take you too.

Then maybe someone around
here will believe me!

[crying]

What's wrong with him?

- I have these bad nightmares.

I lost a patient.

- You a doctor?

- No.

Tech support.

I tried everything.

Safe-mode.

Rescue disc.

I can it for countless others,

but I couldn't even do
it for my own mother.

[crying]

- What was that, a
high school play?

[crying]

Jeez.

[door opening and closing]

- Great.

Hey wait, wait!

I'm sorry about that in there.

Really is just routine.

We really wanna help
you Mrs. Barnes.

This is why we're here.

- You want proof?

- You have proof?

- No.

But I can ask them
to prove it to you.

After all, we're a family now.

- I know why you did
Holi, but just stop it.

Okay, that bad acting
thing ticks'em off.

- Whoa, bad acting?

Don't forget I've done theater.

- Holi, you played a dead guy.

- But, he did it for 68 minutes
and never moved a muscle.

I was watching too.

- They could've used the dummy.

What does that tell ya?

- What does that tell you?

Just leave it on stage
it's stupid here.

- No more stupid than kissing
your truck every night.

- You don't
understand true love.

Alright, let's get back to work.

What about this Rita Barnes?

I'm leaning towards, she has way

too many media
influences to be genuine.

- I kind of agree.

But I think this roof
lady has an intense desire

for a baby wrapped up
in an abduction tale.

And her mind's creating these
abductions to be with it.

I mean, she said it herself,
it needs me, it needs me.

- Sort of, convincing yourself
of something over and over.

- And end up
believing it, exactly.

- You examine these?

- It was a reflection
of a ceiling lamp.

- Mm.

And this?

God, blurry.

Can't anyone take a clear photo?

Put your camera on
automatic people.

Seriously, a pot lid?

What?

- This junk we're getting.

It's not evidence.

It's just getting
more and more lame.

- I tend to agree
with him, Jake.

It's been six months and we

still have nothing
to write about.

- No one said it
was gonna be easy.

Do you expect a spaceship
to land in our backyard?

Everyone just hang on.

- It's getting a little
hard to just hang on, Jake.

I mean it's great that we
got the loan for the place,

but my credit cards
are filing for divorce.

We need to write
that book to survive.

I mean, that was the plan right?

- That was the plan.

But so was sticking
to our dream.

Who gives up on their dream?

- Everyone I know.

- Look,

this is the hottest
UFO area around.

And the only way
that we're gonna find

something big enough to
write about is to stay.

Alright?

- Alright.

- Apply for another credit card.

[phone ringing]

- Gufors, lights in
the sky gets us high.

[dramatic music]

- Your name.

Just sign your name.

- What's my name again?

- Funny.

- No really.

- Clueless.

[laughing]

- Okay, okay.

- You can keep the pen.

Just remember it takes 12
hours for that cement to set.

No pointing until then.

[upbeat music]

- Great.

- That didn't take long.

- Well, how could you miss it?

- Pretty big, right?

- That's not your normal face.

What's going on?

- He hasn't signed
the escrow papers.

- What?

- I was gonna tell you.
It's cool.

People around here are just
a little slow, that's all.

- He better sign, Jake.

I just maxed out
another credit card.

And that cement is drying.

- It's cool.

We're not going anywhere.

- You better make him sign.

- Do I have to ask?

- It's a satellite dish.

For tracking UFOs.

Pretty exciting huh?

- There's a truck load
of cement there son.

What are you doing to my land?

- Take it easy Bo.

Remember we agreed?

You were to sign papers.

Then the dish was
to be installed.

You just messed up there.

- Oh, I messed up?

Are you getting huffy now son?

Ya know, people up here don't
like that smog mouth talk.

You may think that
we ain't in a...

You may think that
we're un-into...

We're not intellect, that...

You might think that we're
dumb as a box of hammers,

but let me tell you
something, we know the law.

And the law says that
I own that thing now.

- Hey, wait a minute.

Bo.

- What's next, a launchpad?

[sad music]

- What happened?

- Nothing.

He's good.

Let's go load the software.

- Sue him.

Isn't that what you
people do from LA?

- Sue him?

Can't you just make him sign?

- I can't make him do anything.

It was a verbal agreement.

Alright, how much did you
put down on the place?

[laughing]

That much?

- The deal was that he
would rent the place

to us for six months
and then he'd sell.

You have to do something.

- Down cowboy.

Let's not get huffy with me son.

People 'round here don't care
much for that smog mouth.

- Smog?

- Alright, well we've got
other places for this Goofies.

- GUFORS

Global Unidentified Flying
Objects Research and Services.

We study UFOs.

- You are from LA.

- Miss Talbert.

Did you ever have a dream?

- Oh honey, you are so young.

- Am I the only one on
this planet with a dream?

How long are the
papers good for?

- Just over two weeks.

- [sighing] Thanks.

- They took my right
eye out of my head.

I could actually see
the back of my eyeball

with cords or
veins or something.

They put a camera in my eye.

They said it was so
they could monitor me.

And everything I see...

They can see you now.

[upbeat music]

- Hey.

- The usual?

- The usual.

Unless there's something
new I don't know about.

- Not since yesterday.

- Oh wow.

Has it been that long?

[register opening]

- Once again, you wait
for the food over there.

- Once again, my truck
is right out here.

You should really
see the inside.

- I've seen enough already.

- Hey space boy.

Catch any UFOs?

- Not yet, but I've
spotted a few aliens.

- Only dumbass hicks
see those things.

- You saw a UFO Todd.

- I saw a light in
the sky alright?

It's not like I was abducted.

- I'll put in a
good word for ya.

- I don't care what you do
down there in Smogville,

but when you come in
here four times a week

just make sure
it's for the food.

- Is it that obvious?

- Make sure that's earth money.

[bell ringing]

- I saw lights in the sky once.

Real pretty ones too.

What do you think that was?

- A reflection.

- Wow, P.L.

Suddenly interested in
something from the other side?

Checking out his
truck or his butt?

[laughing]

Nice truck.

[mood music]

- Jake!

- Hey!

- How's the burger queen doing?

What's her name again?

- Peggy Lynn.

Lucky for me, she
wears a name tag.

- Since when have you
needed a name tag?

- I know their names.

At least their first.

Ya know, I don't even
know why I like this girl.

She's too sweet.

- Opposites.

- Nice.

Bo been around?

- No.

What are we gonna do, Jake?

- Prove the existence
of aliens and eat lunch.

What's going on?

- Everything she says lines up.

- Who?

- It's gotta be an anomaly.

- What, what's going on?

- The roof lady.

I was backtracking some
info from the mainframe,

and everything
she says lines up.

The time, the location.

There's a blip on Greentree.

She lives on Greentree.

- Download it.

That's why we're here, right?

I bet Sidney Marshall
never ruled anyone out.

What's he up to, 15 books now?

Gosh.

He must of started at our age.

We need to write down
all of our research.

Including the roof lady.

We're not gonna get anywhere

selling postcards
and alien dolls.

- Those fake photos
sell pretty well.

- I thought we got
rid of the fakes?

No fakes, no hoaxes!

Stuff like that's gonna
kill our reputation.

Which ones are fake?

Wait a minute, what
about this one?

It looks like a staple.

- Because it is a staple.

[country music]

- Hey Bo.

Bo you around here?

Wow.

No seat-belts.

Smoking was okay.

What a piece of...

Bo!

Bo!

- The sign says
private property.

- There's no sign Bo.

You say that every time.

- And there's nothing
to talk about.

I got nothing to say to you.

- Okay, we can't afford it.

I got another offer for you.

- Oh another offer.
[spitting sound]

- English Bo, English!

- It's those FOU things.

I didn't know that was
going on over there.

We got enough trouble
without a bunch of dizzies

driving around here
looking for them things.

What do you suppose we're
gonna have next up here?

A theme park?

- Okay, wait a minute.

You're telling me
this whole time you've

lived here, you've never
seen anything strange?

- Ya, dizzies like
you creating problems.

That's what I've seen strange.

Ahh!

I'll tell you what.

30 days and then out!

I got another buyer.

How's my English now, cupcake?

- Bo, you can't do that.

We had a deal, Bo.

You can't do that!

Bo!

And it's UFOs you
wrinkled jackass.

- I heard that.

We don't like that smog
mouth talk up here.

[mood music]

- I do felt weird that I was

abducted to board an alien ship.

That I was alone and...

The interior of the
sphere was possibly

a fifth element
type of situation

I was alone and crying
to stop doing bad things.

And that was it, I was
back down the parade

again in Oaklem City on Main St.

And my mother points
on the horses,

look there's John
Wayne, on a horse.

- What in mother's
soup do we have here?

Aliens!

Hey, get out of here!

[gunshot]

[mood music]

I seen'em!

I tell ya I seen'em!

- Whoa, hey put that down.
Put that down.

- Oh ya.

Oh, I seen'em.

I seen'em, oh my god
- What?

- it was something else.

Big gray eyes.

Big gray cold eyes.

- Calm down, calm down.

What happened?

- You did this.

You did this.

- Did what?

- To get me to believe
in these things.

Trying to get me to
sell my property.

You did this.

- You saw a UFO didn't you?

- I saw something and
I saw it right there!

Oh my God.

Big gray eyes come right
out of the night sky.

- Oh man.

- Oh God.

- This is great.

- Aw, crap.

Now I'm one of those crazies
believing in these things!

- Hey, you gotta
tell me everything.

From the beginning.

Okay?

Hey, Riley.

Ya, get Holster.

Get over to Huberty's.

You're not gonna believe this.

- Oh my God.

What am I gonna do?

They come right out
of the night sky.

I was minding my business.

Hey!

Hey, we better get out of here.

- Why?
- Why?

Because they're still
out there, that's why!

- Who?

- Oh for crying out loud.

- Bo, who's out there?

- Bo!

[triumphant music]

- I just saw Bo fly by.

What?

- Damn.

- It's a landing site.

- It's a landing site.

- How's this possible?

- It's where a UFO landed.

What do you mean,
how is it possible?

- No, how is it
possible it landed here?

Outside of Huberty's window?

- It does seem weird Jake.

- Hey, how's it that
you're here Jake?

Did Bo call you?

- No, I couldn't sleep.

So I drove over here to talk to

him about the papers again and

I found him outside going nuts.

Okay, look.

It's probably a hoax, so
let's just check it out.

It's why we're here right?

- Yup.

- Well let's pull out some dirt

samples and debunk this thing.

Before the whole town
thinks that we did it.

- Guys.

What if this isn't a hoax?

[techno music]

[electronics beeping]

- Guys, I am getting a reading.

- It could be a radiation
plant buried somewhere.

We heard about those.

- You boys seeing any aliens
running around out here?

This is Bozo's place right?

[laughing]

- What?

- Who?
- Bozo.

[laughing]

Bozo Huberty.

You shouldn't laugh
at a man's name.

Just shows your intolerance.

So cut the crap smog heads.

- [laughing] Sorry.

- Bozo's been
running around town

getting everyone
all riled up about

some spacecraft
landing out here.

And two of them on the loose.

- Wait, what's on the loose?

- Aliens.

- Aliens?

- What are you talking about?

- You got a radio?

[heavy rock music]

- I'm telling ya, they're loos!

They're running around loose.

- [radio DJ] I love this
story folks.

Once again we've got our
own Bo Huberty with us.

Who swears he wasn't drinking.

Tell us again what you saw?

- First, there were
these lights.

Like an electrical storm.

What the?

Then I saw this saucer thing.

Holy mother.

I screamed.
Alien!

- Wow.

Did you think about
doing something

sensible, like calling 911?

- I grabbed my shotgun,
that's sensible.

- Well, then what happened?

- That's when I saw.

Then I yelled.

Hey get out of here!

They just stood
there, staring at me.

So I lifted my
shotgun and I fired.

- Did ya hit'em?

- No.

They bolted towards the road.

They never made it
into the craft.

I know that.

But that spaceship sure
hightailed out of there.

- And the two aliens?

- Those suckers are
loose, I tell ya.

They're loose out there.

- Well, there you
have it desert rats.

Aliens on the loose!

That is what you're
saying right Bo?

- I'm not only saying
it, I'm, saying it!

- Well tell us one
more time--

- He saw something Jake.

- If you boys find
anything, let me know.

As silly as it sounds.

I gotta check everything out.

- Yes sir.

- Bo's nuts.

Bo's nuts!

- Maybe there's
something to this.

- Aliens left behind?

- I believe him!

- What?
- Didn't you hear him, Jake?

He's credible.

Besides, this is the most
evidence we have ever seen.

We've got a landing site.

A witness.

Correction, a hostile witness.

I mean, this has gotta be real.

- Slow down.

This is crazy.

- Maybe it isn't so crazy.

Maybe Bo will sign
those papers now.

- Ya, maybe he would.

How convenient.

What's going on here, Jake?

- Come on, he wouldn't do
all this for that, Holi.

- I'll tell ya what.

Let's prove this for what it is.

Probably a hoax.

And move on.

- If this is real, Jake, this
could be bigger than Roswell.

- I want, what I want.

And if I want an alien,
I'm gonna get an alien.

I want it purple.

And I want it just a
little shorter than me.

It would love me.

I mean, who else wouldn't?

I want one!

Okay?

[upbeat music]

- No it wasn't, Riley.

- Yes it was!

- I told you what it was.

- And you're wrong!

It was two people going at it!

- Hey, hey, hey.

Gentlemen.

- Holi and I were
on our way back

from LA, and there
was a car ahead of us

it had two people
in the backseat.

They were going at it, Jake.

- It wasn't two people.

- It was definitely two people.

- What was it?

- Some balloons loose
in the backseat.

Riley saw a blue dude
and a red ball chick.

- Alright, alright.

If I would've been
there, I might

have seen something different.

People see what they wanna see.

It just goes to show how
crazy this business is.

- You've got a dirty mind.

- Ya, well you like balloons.

- Well, maybe I do.

- Hi.

- Cool, you're
interested in aliens.

- Not so far.

- Ah, being from LA, I get it.

- You guys know Vicki.

- Are they aliens?

- Wow.

Two Asians in the
desert. [laughing]

What are the odds?

You are Asian, right?

P.L., what am I doing here?

Anyways, haven't
you guys grown up?

- I'm an actor too.

I've done theater.

- What'd you play?

- A dead guy.

- Mm, can you do it now?

- Ah, Okay.

Aghhh!

- Okay, I was just
joking you idiot.

- [laughing] Um--

Anyway.

Everyone in town is talking
about that landing at Huberty's

- Do you wanna go see it?

- Where it landed?

- It'll only take a few minutes.

I could drop you guys back off.

- Do you wanna go, Vicki?

- Okay, if a spaceship
did land around here,

I would pack it with
losers and send it back.

You're a loser.

[upbeat country music]

- Hey where's those papers?

- What papers?

- You wanna buy
this place don't ya?

- Ooh, ya, I'll get'em.

- Whoa!

That's them.

- They're dolls, Bo.

- Say, how do those
things multiply?

Eww.

The aliens are still out there.

You know that.

They're running loose.

- You wear a wig?

- That's no wig.

It's my hair.

[upbeat country music]

- Take care of this.

Ready?

- Mmhmm.

- It's okay.

Come on.

- Bye.

[mood music]

- Oh a gentleman.

Thank you.

- Oh, no, no, no.

I just didn't want your
nails scratching the paint.

- Wow.

- Riley, you been playing
with Ben and Jerry?

- What?

- These been outside?

- No, I haven't played
with those in months.

[mood music]

[knocking]

[knocking]

- Are you sure?

- Mm, I wouldn't worry.

I'm sure the aliens are
just as scared of us.

- Where would they go?

I mean it's kind of scary with

two loose aliens running around.

That's never happened
before has it?

- They found three in Roswell.

- Roswell?

- Ya.

Roswell, New Mexico.

Alien crash of '47.

They found two dead ones
and one live one supposedly.

And a government
cover-up and all that.

I figure these lines are the
landing gear impressions.

- Couldn't someone
have just created this?

- Possibly.

- Wow.

If this turns out to be
real, you discovered it.

- Ya.

That's true.

[laughing]

That is true.

A find like this would be

incredible.

- Jake.

Jake.

Jake!

I don't wanna be late.

- Ya, right.

Incredible.

- Thanks for
showing me the site.

- I'm not doing
anything on Saturday.

- Saturday?

- We could do something.

Ah, "Ya, great!"
would be cool.

- Do the girls in
LA always say that?

- Pretty much.

- You're not used to
being turned down are you?

- Is that what this is?

- I do like one thing about you.

Oh, here comes Todd.

I gotta go.

- Todd.

I even hate his name.

[laughing]

Are you and him?

- No.

Just him.

- Ya know, I grew
up in a small town.

- You did?

And?

- I escaped.

- Looks like you're back.

You like music?

- Raves are cool.

- Oh, I've never
heard of the Raves.

- Hey don't leave me hanging.

- What I like about you,
you follow your dream, Jake.

As weird as it is.

I'm not late, Todd.

- Hey, lover-boy.

Next time use your
space phone and call me.

I'll come pick her up.

Got it?

- Todd, where'd you
even get that name?

- Get ready to sell
your wacko shop too.

- What?

- That whole deal was a mistake.

And you're a mistake.

- Hey!

Lay off the truck!

And keep walking, diner boy!

- Ya, ya, ya.

I definitely will.

Ya, I will.

Uh-huh.

- How'd the tour go?

- Okay.

- Question.

- Guys.

- Hold on a minute,
this is important.

You guys think I'm like, too LA?

Like a bit too into myself?

I mean, I can't change this.

- Guys.

- What?
- Tours.

- Tours, what tours?

- I just got four calls asking
about tours at Huberty's.

- So?

- They're asking how much.

- They're asking how much?

- Mmhmm.

- Ah, forget it.

We're investigators,
not tour guides.

- This could really
help us out Jake.

It would get our name out there.

Maybe lead to some interviews.

Articles.

Publicity.

For our book!

If we don't do the
tours, someone else will.

- Tours at Huberty's huh?

Maybe this is how it all starts.

[phone ringing]

- GUFORS.

We're gonna need
group discounts.

Do you have a hammer?

- Nope.

[blues music]

[suspenseful music]

- Riley.
Riley, wake up.

I saw something outside.

- Mm.

Was she blonde or brunette?

Oh wait, you mean the aliens?

- I saw a shadow go wake Holi.

- It can't be possible.

- It is possible.

We're only a mile
away from Bo's house.

- Let's communicate with'em.

- What?

- It's why we're here right?

Go for it Riley; you're
the most qualified.

- What do I say?

It's almost as scary
as talking to a girl.

What do you say to girls?

- What they wanna hear.

- Hello!

And welcome!

First things first.

- Good call.

- Do you understand me?

I am speaking American English.

- I am speaking
American English?

Dude, get out of my way.

Visitors!

We come in peace!

And only want to learn
of your intentions.

Making contact's the next level.

We are ready.

Maybe they don't speak English.

Come on, let's go.

- Whoa!

- What?

- The shadow.

And you heard footsteps.

They were checking out the dish.

They were trying to communicate.

- To get home.

- I was actually
abducted by the aliens.

Taken on board their ship.

What I saw, was a row of
cows hanging upside down.

Right next to, what appeared to

be half human half alien babies.

I say to the tall
green guy that was

there, "Hey what's
with all the cows?"

He said it was milk
for the babies.

And when they get
older, hamburgers.

- Bo Huberety reported
multi-colored lights, rotating.

And saw it land right here,
creating this burn circle.

[crowd oohing and awing]

- Are we gonna see any aliens?

- The more important
question is,

what do you do if
you did see an alien?

[cameras shuttering]

- Very good.

Very good.

Good, good, good.

Oh.

I'm the alien.

Alright.

Elbows in, against your body.

Keep those cameras steady.

Especially those of
you with cellphones.

They're light and blur easily.

- How do we know that
crop circle ain't a hoax?

- That's a burn
circle you idiot!

- By the evidence.

- You're Sidney Marshall.

Guys, Sidney Marshall.

Ladies and gentlemen, the most

famous UFO researcher ever.

I am honored.

- Big fan.

- What do you make of all this?

- I find the rotating
lights interesting.

- From the spaceship?

- Possibly.

Or possibly something else.

Like Japanese lanterns maybe.

Their lightweight wooden
frames covered with

fabric, when filled with
a fuel source they rise.

When a dozen or so are strung

together circling
above your heads...

- You'll see a circle of dots.

- No a spacecraft.

Your brain fills in the rest.

- Exactly.

- No, what are you guys doing?

- I want my roll
of quarters back!

- Well thanks for coming.

- If this is hoax I'm gonna
burry'em in that crop circle.

- That's a burn
circle you idiot.

- Call your friends.

- You mentioned fulvic acid.

What were the levels?

- Twice the normal level.

- Radiation?

- Off the scale.

- More interesting.

- And we have a
credible witness.

- That's true.

And because of all
this, your witness,

who happens to be your landlord,

suddenly had this
miraculous conversion.

Which luckily for you
boys, was just in time

to settle some kind of
dispute, was it not?

Hmm.

You boys planning a book.

- Ya
- Ya

Yes sir.

- Then I suggest you rule out
all possibilities of a hoax.

- Something did land here.

- Then just submit
to a polygraph.

Clear up that little part
of the investigation.

- No problem.

- Hmm.

If you all pass,
I think you have

a best seller on your hands.

With an endorsement from me.

- Oh wow.

- But if you fail,

I'll tear you guys apart.

Nothing worse than a bunch
of hoaxsters wasting my time.

Great tour by the way.

I'll be in touch.

[dramatic music]

- Worried about that
polygraph Riley?

I doubt he's gonna ask you
how many dates you been on.

- Oh ya.

I'll just lie.

- I can't believe it.

Sidney Marshall was here!

This is big!

Ah!

Come on let's go.

Ya!

Coming Riley?

- What about the aliens?

Shouldn't we be
looking for them?

- You didn't look okay
with that polygraph.

- I'm okay with it.

Are you?

- You ever think
one of us did it?

Ya know, maybe staged it all and

somehow started believing it?

No reason it couldn't
happen to one of us.

- The only thing
that's happening to us

is our book, Marshall's
endorsement, and sweet success.

Are you okay with that?

- I'm okay with it.

Jake, what about Riley?

- Ah, he'll call me.

I'll pick'em up.

[mood music]

[psychedelic music]

- Hey, what are you doing?

- Shh!

I'm searching for a
communication pattern.

- To the aliens?

Cool!

Get anything yet?

- No.

The earth's rotation is
getting in the way again.

- Ya.

- Why won't they
communicate with us?

I love aliens!

- You do?

Maybe I can help.

- How?

- Actually, I don't really like,

talking about it really,
but I'm half alien.

- Like from Mexico?

- No.

Like from another planet.

See, I'm what they
call a hybrid.

I figure I'm 36 percent alien.

Approximately.

- And the rest?

- Human.

The rest human.

- You're part alien?

So you know how to
communicate with them?

- Does this impress you?

- Come on!
- This is cool.

- Communicating with aliens?

- No.

Impressing a girl.

[mood music]

- Hi.

- Hello.

- We're gonna have so much fun!

- Okay, cool.

- I brought my record player.

[record scratching]

- Great.

Did you just get off work?

- No.

- Am I taking you to work?

- No, why?

- No reason.

- Thanks for dinner.

I just love this old
music, don't you?

Come out silly.

- How do you stand it out here?

- What do you mean?

- This wasteland.

Like, wouldn't
you want things to

get a little wild and
crazy once in a while?

- Wild and crazy?

- Yes!

Ya know, party!

Let loose, go nuts.

- We are having a party.

Listen, the wild and crazy
thing, it's just not me.

I like the way things were.

People were nice, polite,
not so into themselves.

I guess I'm like that
song, Born Too Late.

You ever hear it?

By the Ponytails?

- By the Ponytails?

No.

You're joking.

Hold hands?

- Why not?

[sighing]

♪ Born too late

♪ To have a chance to

♪ Win your love

♪ Oh why

♪ Oh why was it my fate

♪ To be born too late

- Ya know, maybe
it isn't too late.

[heavy rock music]

- Can you trust me?

- No.

- Smart girl.

[dance music]

You okay?

Hey you okay?

You're scaring me.

- That music was really loud.

Especially the missing heads.

Were they human?

A very cool raving.

Rave to end all raves.

- Got it.

You're thoroughly raved.

And high.

- Am I? [laughing]

- What are you...
Give me those.

What are...

- You want my harmful drugs?

- God.

Unbelievable.

[dramatic music]

- I don't think I
like the other side.

- You cool?

- I only took a quarter of one.

- You didn't touch me
or anything did you?

- I was the only one
who didn't sweetheart.

- Get out of my way.

- I was just trying to
update you a little.

- Update me?

Oh, well I do feel a little
more self-centered and shallow.

Why do you even like me?

- I have no idea.

And I'm not shallow either.

- How would you know?

What's that on your truck?

- What is that?
Is that?

Ah, God it's gonna
eat the paint.

- Maybe one of
your raves did it.

- I need a hose.

Do you have a hose?

Ah it's gonna get on the mags.

Those are four bills each!

I need a rag.

Do you have a rag?

You have water here right?

Aghh!

God.

It's cool.

I'll,

clean it up tomorrow.

- No you won't.

[mood music]

[water spraying]

[typing]

[door slamming]

- What are you doing?

- I just heard typing on the
keyboard and saw a shadow.

Whatever it was, it's gone now.

What is this?

- It's gibberish.

Like a cat on a keyboard.

- These are coordinates.

- Coordinates?

- I know code, and
these are coordinates.

These are alien coordinates.

That means they're
trying to communicate.

Do you realize, if
we can decode this--

- We might know when and
where they'll be rescued.

I knew this wasn't a hoax.

If we can figure
out what this says.

They're here.

- I woke up swimming in a pool

filled with this greenish gel.

The aliens told me
not to be scared.

I could dunk my head
under it and breathe.

And eat.

And rarely poop.

Oh, so weird.

[suspenseful music]

- Aliens!

- Whoa don't shoot!

Is this what you saw that night?

- You again, get away
from those aliens.

- It's okay.

It's okay.

I'm just glad to see
you without the shotgun.

- That's what people tell me.

- My apologies.

Just a little experiment.

- Dolls?

No, No.

What I saw wasn't dolls.

What I saw was real.

Besides, I thought I told
you everything already.

- Did you hear any
strange sounds that night?

- The only sound
I heard was that

spaceship spinning
up in the air.

- The spaceship made a sound?

You didn't mention that before.

- Well, it must
have made a sound,

'cause, 'cause, 'cause
I think I heard it.

- Hmm.

- Say, ya know those goofy boys?

They got some dolls
just like that.

- I know.

[phone ringing]

- GUFORS, if you believe
it you'll see it.

[disco music]

- Disco music?

- Ya, third time this week.

- Hang up.

- Is someone looking for you?

- Just hang up.

- $14.10

- Do me a favor, if
this card doesn't

go through, keep it down okay?

You are Asian right?

- It's been declined!

- Wow.

How did that happen?

- I don't know.

You didn't pay your bill.

You overspent.

You have no money.

You're a loser.

- That's it.

I can't do this anymore.

- Do what?

- My card was maxed out
because of all her rehab.

- Rehab?

- Okay cut the crap space junk.

- We're finished.

It's over. [crying]

- Ya and so is
your acting career.

[crying]

- I'll buy his lunch.

I'll buy your lunch.

- You bought that crap?
- Thank you.

[disco music]

[upbeat dance music]

[tires screeching]

- The roof lady?

It can't be.

- You see Peggy Lynn?

Did she ask about me?

- Look Jake, this
interest in her.

Have you considered
your trucks feelings?

- Ever witness a brutal assault?

Check this out.

Roof Lady dropped
this by for us.

- Roof tile?

We should look into this.

[rock music]

- Welcome to Guf-Offs, fellas.

- Todd.

These your boyfriends
you keep talking about?

- My friend saw
something para-abnormal.

- How about we
fill out a report?

- When did he see it?

- A few hours ago.

- Can you describe it?

- It was gray with black eyes.

And it was wooshin'
all over the place.

Like woosh!

Woosh!
Woosh!

- Enough!

- Woosh!

[laughing]

[laughing]

- Out!

- Ho ho ho oh!

- Take it easy space boy.

It's just a little pigeon crap.

- Isn't this what you
put in your burgers?

- Hysterical.

By the way, as far
as Peggy Lynn,

raver boy, it's over. Got it?

Let's not bust the place up.

Gotta keep it nice.

- Woosh!

- The natives are restless.

[playful music]

- Anything yet?

- It's not working, Riley!

[grunting]

[balloons popping]

Riley?

Riley, are you okay?

- Maybe I am too human.

- Well who's fault is that?

- For a second it
actually sounded

like you were a little
worried about me.

- Riley, let's not
fall in love, okay?

- [sigh] Okay.

- One day you might have to
return to your home planet.

- I wish I could
just go there now.

[upbeat music]

- Riley.

Riley, I think
something's working.

Riley, stop!

Riley, Riley, Riley!

You did it, you did it!

What are those?

- Japanese lanterns.

- [sigh] It's gone now.

- What's gone?

- I think you did it.

- It looks like you
solved the mystery son.

[mood music]

- When I was abducted
into the spaceship,

the alien was speaking
to me telepathically.

But I couldn't hear him.

- Get out of town!

- Hey.

Hey!

- I want my money back you fake!

[car horn]

- UFO hicks!

- God!

Aghhh!

I'm coming for you!

[mood music]

[splat]

Aghh!

Did you see that?

What's this?

- What does it look like?

- Okay.

Japanese lanterns.

Where did they come from?

- About a mile from Huberty's.

- No kidding?

- Look Jake.

Enough is enough.

No one in within 100 miles
could have done this.

- Did you take a
close look at it?

Look how old it is.

- We worked it all out, Jake.

The wind direction.

The amount of propane.

Everything.

Including the dirt
on Ben and Jerry.

Jake, this is hoax.

- It's something to look into.

- Okay, this is
gonna rip us apart.

We have to end this.

- Oh we will.

- Okay.

- Tomorrow.

- What?

The polygraph?

You're not planning on
taking that thing are you?

You'll fail, Jake.

- Are you gonna fail it, Jake?

- Is you name Jake Connors?

- Yes.

- Were you born in
the state of Wyoming?

- Yes.

- Seated outside this room,
are those your friends?

- Well, I'm not sure.

- Yes or no answers please.

- I suppose.

Okay, yes.

- Have you ever
lied to the police?

- Yes.

- Are you currently running
a business in the area?

- Yes.

- With the sole purpose
of investigating UFOs.

- Yes.

- Before setting up
your business here,

have you ever faked
a UFO sighting?

- No.

- Were you responsible
for the Huberty

landing site earlier this month?

[mood music]

- Let me know when you
need that endorsement.

That is, if you still want it.

- He passed?
- Oh, we passed.

- You passed?

[laughing]

- Write that book,
you're going places.

- You heard that?

He says we're going places.

- We're going places, Holi.

We're going places, baby.

Oh my gosh we are doing it boys.

This is awesome.

- Incredible.

- We're gonna be famous.

We're gonna be celebrities.

We're gonna make movies.

- You believed it.

- What?

- That's why you passed
when you said no.

You believed it.

Power of suggestion.

You conviced yourself
that it was real,

you believed it and
that's why you passed.

- Maybe you should start
believing too, Holi.

- Look at my truck!

Just look at what
they've done to my truck!

This whole town has gone nuts.

They think I cooked
this whole thing up.

You guys gotta do something to

make them believe it was real.

It was real wasn't it?

- It's starting to look
like the real deal, Bo.

- I knew it was.

I knew it was real.

'Cause ya know, those aliens,
they're still out there.

They're out there
at night I hear'em.

Weird freaky noises.

And I see'em out
there with balloons.

[suspenseful music]

- What are ya doing, Bo?

You signed the papers?

We're the one's that had a deal.

You could of checked with me

before you sold
it to these Bozos.

Now we'll never get rid of them.

- Todd, we need these boys.

Those aliens know
what I look like.

- You just saw what
they wanted you to see.

That's how they got
you to sell the place.

- Is he telling it like it is?

- It's nobody's fault that
you're the town idiot.

You did know that right?

- I thought you were.

- Just go, Bo.

I'll deal with them from here.

[mood music]

After I take care of Bo,
I'm gonna take care of you.

With an eviction notice.

I'm thinking Chinese food here.

It's my dream.

Buenas noches.

[sad music]

- What are we gonna
do now, Jake?

- Nothing.

We're not going anywhere.

Come on, we've got work to do.

- We must assume they're
gonna land at Huberty's.

If you lose something, you're

gonna return where you lost it.

The question is when.

This is weird.

- What?

- We know the keyboard
characters are out.

There's these strange
sequential sequences.

In this pattern.

17 of them but twice.

Does 34 mean anything?

How many days since the landing?

- It's been about a month.

- It's been exactly 33 days.

Does that mean that something's

gonna happen tomorrow
or the next day?

- It might.

- I don't see it.

- These are perfect
sequential sequences,

the odds are too great
to be anything else.

- They could be telling us
that they're gonna come back.

- To rescue the
others, why else?

- Ah, you really are
part alien, Riley!

Hasta la hoax, Holi.

- This is more
than a book, Holi.

This is history.

We'd be nuts to blow this off.

- How many cameras do we have?

- Yes!

- Ben and Jerry, I
know you aren't real.

But if you were, I just have
to ask, where am I from?

[knocking]

[knocking]

- Riley.

- Love, what are you doing here?

- You're not gonna leave
or anything, are you?

- You mean with the aliens?

Would you miss me if I did?

- No.

And you're not supposed to
miss me either, remember?

- I won't.

- Just checking.

- Well this camera's
fully-automatic.

- This one's better
in low light so...

- What's the difference?

We're taking both.

Riley use your cell.

What's wrong?

- Maybe I got through
to the aliens somehow.

What if they, ya know, take me?

- [sigh] Just get a
couple shots off with your

cellphone and toss it to us
before you go. [laughing]

- Thanks.

I guess nobody's gonna miss me.

What time is it?

- 7:30

- I thought this was the desert.

My butt's all wet.

[laughing]

- Shouldn't we be closer?

- Ya we probably should.

- Hey!

[gunshot]

- Come on, Jake.

- Okay, but not too close.

I don't wanna get shot at again.

What I say?

- Welcome back, Jake.

[mood music]

- Oh no.

Wow.

- You did this, Jake?

- I can't believe it.

It happened to me.

- I freaking knew it.

- It wasn't supposed
to go this far.

Dammit!

I figured you guys would peg
it for a hoax in minutes.

I was just trying
to save the place.

- What about the dish moving?

The code on the keyboard?

Maybe Marshall
was tampering with

it or maybe it was the cat.

- Maybe it was the cat, Jake?

Maybe it was the cat?

Cat, Jake?

I trusted you, Jake.

- Watch the gear!

Watch the gear!

Watch the gear.

Stop!

Okay, stop.
Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Whoa.

You did create that
hoax right, Jake?

- Ya.

- Did you create this one?

- No.

[digital sounds]

[mood music]

- I saw Rita's baby.

She was right, it was ugly.

Are you guys getting
anything yet?

It'll come to ya.

- First Jake's hoax and
now we were abducted?

- That's how we got
back from Huberty's.

[sighing]

- Jake, where's your truck?

- What?

Call the police!

Where's my truck?

- It's at Bo's where we left it.

They brought us here.

- I'm going back to bed.

- No, listen!

Maybe Bo blabbering
all over the airwaves

and me dancing around
somehow got their interest.

I don't know, I'm just guessing.

I'm sane guys,
half alien, but sane.

Okay, and Jake, I
understand the hoax.

You got caught up
in it, we all did.

But this is real.

How else would we have--

- We left it there, okay?

Maybe we walked.

Maybe we got freaked
out about something.

But we came back
and went to sleep.

Just like we always do.

- We experienced a loss of time.

- Riley, is this unconscious
attempt to keep us here?

I mean it's over.

The only thing left for us to do

now is to sell noodles for Todd.

- You're giving up?

We're giving up?

- How did we get here?

[mood music]

- This bird is used.

The best I can do is 60%
of the purchase price.

Plus, a dismantling fee,
and a restocking fee.

You boys aren't having
a good day are ya?

- Just an end of a dream.

- Hey, I need a signature.

- Well you boys aren't
packing up and leaving are ya?

- I don't know, we're
actually giving

this whole Bigfoot thing a shot.

- Ah, the town'll get over it.

Besides with all these sightings

we're gonna need you fellas.

And don't worry about
your reputation.

Nobody around here's got a
good one anyways. [laughing]

- Oh thanks, but, you kind
of need one in this business.

- Well, if you decide to stay,
we got a wacky one for ya.

Not sure if it's an
abduction or old Rita Barnes

just decided to find
somewhere to sleep it off.

- The Rood Lady?

- Ya.

She ever get with you fellas?

Well her daughter's
pretty agitated.

You guys ever follow up?

[horn beeping]

[disco music]

Well there she is boys.

She'll beat it out
of you herself.

Now stand back, she
is a bill collector.

- Bill collector?

- Disco music?

[disco music]

- Time to boogie deadbeat.

- Hey can we see
some credentials?

- Shut up, alien dork.

- Hey.

How did she know?

- Didn't my mother come
see you Vulcans for help?

- Didn't we file
that case, Jake?

- I have a case
of my own to file.

Delinquent payments.

Defrauding people with
your stupid tours.

But first, we're
gonna find my mother.

In the truck.

In the truck now, creep!

- Holi?
Holi!

Holi?
Holi?

- Holi?

Holi!

- What's the matter with him?

- Oh no, Holi!

Holi!

- Well is he breathing?

- I don't hear anything.

- Betty, this is Tom, we got
a 10-47 at he GUFOR store.

- Call an ambulance!

- Ya.

- Ya we're gonna
need an ambulance

it looks like we got a
gentleman passed out.

- Holi.

Holi!

Holi!

You're okay.

- Is she gone?

- She just left.

Did you just...

Are you kidding me?

- That's great acting, Holi.

You didn't move a muscle.

- Betty, cancel that 10-47.

- Wow, I'm impresed.

- Nice work.

- Well done, my friend.

- Heck ya.

- Alright.

- I catch you doing that again

Bo, I'm gonna
write you a ticket.

- Hey, have you guys heard?

I'm gonna be on TV.

This thing is all over.

I'm thinking theme park here.

Woo!

Haha!

- You boys wanna come clean?

- What?

Did you locate the
rest of those aliens?

- Well, Bozo, about the UFO...

- You know there's more of'em
loose out there don't ya?

I've counted six already.

- Six?

- What?

- You wouldn't believe
me if I told you.

- Huh?

Whatever.

Say, we'll talk about splitting

up the tour money later, okay?

- Ya.

- I'm gonna be on TV!

- Take it easy driving, Bo.

Well boys, it looks like
we've got ourselves a legend.

Or is that a myth?

Whatever it is, I got a feeling

things are gonna be a little
bit different around here.

[laughing]

- Come on guys, let's
go get my truck.

- Jake, how much is
your truck worth?

- Not as much as it used to.

Come on.

[Asian music]

- Hey I'll catch up with
you guys later, huh?

- Wow, an actor.

- No, not really. [laughing]

I fainted.

So you are Asian right?

- Uh...

[mood music]

- Jake, here.

You can give it back to me when

you get her one of your own.

[laughing]

- I can't do that, Bo.

It's corny as hell.

- Corny?

That's the way it
was done back then.

Do you like this girl?

- She's okay.

- Just okay?

- Well, you know
this isn't the 50s.

Maybe you should date her.

You're both from
the same time warp.

- Jake, how come you
never asked me about her?

- 'Cause I was afraid to.

- Looks like she's
waiting for a call, huh?

It never came.

- Give me the ring.

- That...

And this is all you need.

[mood music]

- I know crazy huh?

But to keep the dream alive
I've decided to sell my truck.

Bo says if I fix it
up I can keep it.

This time I"ll get
it in writting.

What do you think?

The inside's not bad.

- It is looking a little better.

- There's something else.

- Howdy.

That's how they talk out here.

- Love that outfit,

- Picturing your
momma wearing it?

- Is there any sand in the food?

- The sand is extra.

- Whoa.

Looks like country girl needs
a little attitude adjustment.

Isn't that right, Dusty.

- Maybe you need one too,

People out here don't
go for that smug mouth.

- Smog mouth.

- Smog mouth.

Got it?

- Ain't got the
lingo down yet, huh?

You new in town?

- No, just back.

- Sure thing, hick.

Come on, let's go.

They're probably all related.

- Did he just call me a hick?

[laughing]

Give me your hand.

- Oh now you wanna hold hands.

- Give me your hand.

[laughing]

[mood music]

- If you're asking me to
go steady, it goes here.

- Wow.

I never thought something
like this would happen.

It feels nice, Jake.

Thanks.

- Doesn't this feel
a little corny.

- No.

- Me either.

Hold hands later?

- Sure.

[laughing]

[country music]

- That scrap metal yours?

Where's your sense
of worth dude?

- You're a loser, bro.

Want me to call you a tow-truck?

[laughing]

- How do you get

around town in
that piece of junk?

- How the hell you
live with yourself?

Where's your ego?

- Okay, cool it.

- Want some oil to
go with that rust?

- You smell like dirt.

Grab some rims
like these partner.

Back seat, bro, what's up?

- Listen to him, he
speaks the truth.

- Just get out of town man.

You stink.

[mood music]

- Go back to the ocean.

- Ya see ya later, bro.

- Squid.

Check the dude, man.

Loser!

- I hate to say it, but
that truck, it's you.

- Maybe it just
needs a wash, man.

- Ewww!

- Nope, she's good.

- Dude just kissed
his truck, man.

[laughing]

- What's wrong with that?

- How much are those alien mugs?

[country music]

- What is happening to me?

Is that you making that noise?

- No.

Hey do you still want me
to take that bird out?

It's your last chance.

- Hold on a minute.

Mrs. Barnes?

- I am not breastfeeding
that thing.

Don't they know how old I am?

Stupid aliens.

- Where did...

Are you?

- You would think
they'd at least

have the decency to
drop me a little closer.

Relatives.

[dramatic music]

- Why is it blurry?

Cool.

Come on buddy,
let's get to Bo's.

Got five tours today and the
first one starts in 20 minutes.

- Look, this is the real thing.

These are the real aliens.

- It looks fake.

You sure you saw it?

[mood music]

- I'm not too sure about that.

- How's he doing?

- You better get
out there Riley.

Who knows what he'll attract.

- He's not doing too bad.

[mood music]

[phone ringing]

[upbeat music]

♪ You told me not to leave you

♪ You said it's gonna be
a rough road ahead of you ♪

♪ As you shook your head

♪ Like you were jealous
it was me and not you ♪

♪ That was going nowhere

♪ You said you're
going nowhere fast ♪

♪ But on your shoulders

♪ I stood like you do

♪ And I say

♪ You will never fall
when you're standing ♪

♪ With arms around

♪ You will never fall
when you're standing ♪

♪ You will never fall

- Well I don't even believe in

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny,

Tooth Fairy, Jack Frost, any of

these other crazy
guys you think of.

No I don't think so.

- In the fall of 1977 I
saw a great emerald light

darting down from the top of
the sky down to the ground.

My life has not been the same.