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["Maniac" playing]
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♪ Just a steel town girlon a Saturday night ♪
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♪ Lookin' for the fight of her life ♪
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♪ In the real-time worldno one sees her at all ♪
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♪ They all say she's crazy ♪
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♪ It can cut you like a knife ♪
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♪ If the gift becomes the fire ♪
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♪ On a wirebetween will and what will be ♪
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♪ She's a maniacManiac on the floor ♪
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♪ And she's dancing likeshe's never danced before ♪
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♪ She's a maniac… ♪
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- Oh, hello.
- Oh, you're so late.
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You're so beautiful.
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- You're beautiful.
- Call me after class.
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Morning.
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Let's have a seat, huh?
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Jessica, tell your mom
she can't send me emails like that, okay?
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It's inappropriate.
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Oh, this is fun.
What up to you guys as well.
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Oh, right... No, wait... All right.
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Everyone did the reading?
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The kids this year, I feel like
they're less woke. Did you notice that?
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They're not into being woke anymore.
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- It circled back around.
- It circled all the way around.
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Now they're for
what they say they're against.
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Right. And they're saying
the R-word again.
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You had that kid... What was he
saying about the Spanish Inquisition?
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I had to teach both sides
of the Spanish Inquisition.
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- It's so insane.
- He got upset, started crying.
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- It was a whole thing.
- I have kids that are showing me
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AI porn of Oscar Wilde
having sex with women.
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He was gay.
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Six years at this school.
Today, no Dinty Moore.
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- Dinty Moore stew?
- What is Dinty Moore?
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I can't believe
they even still make that stuff.
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Whenever I see it,
I think it's a can of dog food.
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Guess I'm dieting today,
which is good, by the way,
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'cause all these little fuckers
roaming around
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- filming everything we do…
- [both] I know.
40
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…and sending it off to communist China.
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What are you talking about?
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Let me ask you.
Why is the number one app in the world…
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- No politics.
- …run by America's only enemy?
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- Didn't we say no politics?
- I did say that.
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Didn't we make a policy: no politics?
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People say they vote with their dollar.
A lot of people do.
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I vote with my dollar.
I also vote with my vote, okay?
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And I never choose who I'm gonna vote for
till after the debates.
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- That is not true.
- It's 100% true.
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- It is not true that you wait...
- Believe it, buddy, all right?
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It's called nobility of spirit.
You got it too. Deep inside.
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You just need a hot boyfriend
to spank it out of you every morning.
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Do not bring lunch from home.
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- It's not worth it this year.
- [Gwen] Wait, what?
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I can't be carrying this much shit!
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- What do you mean "this year"?
- They upgraded the lunch.
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- Look. Markie's got pecan pie.
- Who upgraded the lunch?
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Dude, you guys gotta respond
to my stock guy.
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He's got new opportunities.
I don't want you guys to miss out.
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Rick, I would politely ask you
to stop sending us those emails
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because those actually are spam,
and that guy, I think, is scamming you.
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This guy is legit.
I met him at a TED talk.
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- You went to a TED talk?
- Yeah.
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Or was it TEDx?
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It's different? What's different?
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This is why I get my paycheck in cash.
It goes right in the safe.
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That's insane. Are you stupid?
You're losing .8% each year.
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You pay taxes on that?
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Taxation is theft.
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Right. Who is that?
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[Gwen] That's the new physics teacher.
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- He's filling in for Jennifer…
- He's cool.
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…for the first semester, or the year,
if she does well on The Amazing Race.
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I can't believe she got on that show
with a hernia.
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No, I think it was a atopic baby.
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- That's not the word.
- [Grant] Evan.
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Evan, can I talk to you in my office?
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- Now?
- Yes. Come, come.
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No vaping. I can smell it.
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No, you can't.
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Here it is…
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Oh. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
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Okay. Yeah.
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- You're being investigated.
- I'm being investigated?
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- For what?
- A mom named Linda Harrison…
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- Linda Harrison?
- I know that name.
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…alleges that you kissed your boyfriend
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- in front of her son…
- Oh, my God.
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…and a whole class of other high schoolers
at the end of last school year.
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You talked to me about that
when it happened. That was nothing.
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I know. But now she's made a formal
complaint, and I have to read this.
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Wait, her kid... That kid graduated.
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He's in college now.
Why is she doing this now?
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00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,618
I don't know.
Why does anybody do anything?
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Wait a minute. Linda Harrison.
I remember that name.
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00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:08,540
That's the mom that complained
about the assigned reading.
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- Lewd content, yeah.
- Lewd content, right?
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And do you remember what the book was
that she said was lewd?
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The Great Gatsby.
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The Great Gatsby.
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Do you know how long
that's been on the curriculum?
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- Oh, my God.
- This doesn't make sense.
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This is political.
She's doing a political move.
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Yeah, politics are real.
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Why doesn't Markie ever get investigated
for all that shit he says?
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- Who?
- Markie.
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Markie, the gym teacher. Markie.
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Mark... He can't be investigated.
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He has a protected victim status…
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- How do I get that?
- …because he was injured
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in a car accident in his first week
of training in the ROTC,
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and he's 1/32nd Native American,
and he has paper proof of that.
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- This is insane.
- I mean, you kissed her...
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You kissed your boyfriend
in front of her son.
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- This is serious now.
- I literally was just, like…
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Just like barely... Just like…
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I don't even know if our lips touched.
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Do you understand? This is homophobia.
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- This is what homophobia's like.
- I don't care what it is.
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- It's insidious.
- I'm agoraphobic.
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So what do I do?
I just wait for my fate to be decided?
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00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,472
I don't know. You can do anything. You...
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00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,724
If you hand in your resignation letter,
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00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,810
you could work
in a restaurant or something,
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00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,104
or, you know, do a short film
with your friends.
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Join Amway. Amway is very good.
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You want me to quit this job?
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No, I don't want you to quit.
I don't want you to quit.
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She wants you to quit.
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[sighs] Look, what I want you to do is
write a statement
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in defense of your position, okay?
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- I'll submit it on your behalf.
- In defense?
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- That's what I can do.
- I'm not writing a statement.
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- This whole thing is bullshit.
- It's not bullshit.
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You're lucky they're not suspending you.
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Grant, let me ask you something.
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- Her kid... Remember that kid?
- Yeah.
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Is he gay now?
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He's in college and he's gay now, right?
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I always felt like that kid was gay.
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Just... Evan, just stop.
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- Stop. Just stop.
- I'm right? I'm right.
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She thinks I turned her kid gay.
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- Will you stop that?
- This is insane!
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Evan, just please take
the rest of the day off!
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I mean, I guess I have said this before.
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Not to, like, whatever,
but I did quit for a reason.
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I know you quit for a reason.
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00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,614
I'm, like...
I really am thriving right now.
150
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,949
They're, like, giving away
tech jobs in Austin.
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00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,410
I've worked at the job
for, what, two months now.
152
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I've used my dental insurance
four times. Four times.
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I'm getting braces for, like, no reason.
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I'm not gonna quit teaching.
I can't just work in tech.
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I need a job that means
something to me, which I hate.
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Yeah. No, that... that sucks.
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Maybe if you were in a city school
here in Austin, it would be one thing,
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but these suburbs,
they're still, like, very old-fashioned.
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No, but I have to stay there
because somewhere bigoted like that
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is where you can make the most difference.
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Like, what am I doing if I'm not
trying to improve the future
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for these kids
that come through that system?
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If I just succumb to the evil intentions
of their conservative parents,
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then the kids are gonna grow up
to be exactly like them.
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- Then it's 1980 again or worse.
- Okay.
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I mean, I will just say, like,
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I wouldn't think of
all conservatives as evil.
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- I don't.
- I'm conservative at this point.
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- No, you're not.
- No, not about everything.
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- I still want social progress.
- You say it 'cause it's kitschy,
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00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,499
but you're not actually a Republican.
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No, I really... It's like, I am
against a lot of what the left...
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I don't know what I am anymore.
I listen to Red Scare.
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If my very desire to fuck is...
I love this song.
175
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:06,009
If my very desire to fuck is,
like, up for debate
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or potentially evil to them...
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I don't know. We have to do something.
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Oh, "we"? You and I?
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00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,601
- You and I, us together…
- No.
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00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:17,062
…go talk to the school board.
We're the ones who kissed.
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00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:20,440
"We" are not even together
anymore 'cause you can't commit.
182
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,484
You always act like I broke up with you.
183
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,754
But I didn't break up with you.
We broke up with each other.
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I'm not going back
anywhere near that school.
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And I'm certainly not getting involved.
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00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:33,704
On that note, if you are open to it,
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I would be down
to hang out today at your place.
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00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,294
- Okay. Wow.
- I'm supposed to take
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00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,546
the rest of the day off
to think about my actions.
190
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,464
See, this is your whole thing.
191
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:46,401
- [sighs] This is my thing.
- You create your own problems.
192
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:47,843
Like this, for example.
193
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,469
What happens if you get me pregnant?
194
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,138
Like, are we gonna keep the baby?
195
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,890
I can't raise a baby. I work in tech.
196
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,308
If I get you pregnant,
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00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:56,852
it would be a miracle.
198
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:58,562
["Little Dark Age" playing]
199
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,939
♪ Forgiving who you are ♪
200
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,192
♪ For what you stand to gain ♪
201
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,323
This behavior would not only be tolerated,
202
00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:16,580
but encouraged
if a straight couple did the same.
203
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,499
Homophobia...
204
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,210
[phone rings]
205
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:22,294
Hello.
206
00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:24,838
What are you doing, you little gay guy?
207
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,840
I love when you call me that. Um…
208
00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:29,051
I'm writing this official statement
209
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:31,386
that I have to submit
for this investigation.
210
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,639
What do you have so far?
211
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,140
"To Whom it may concern:"
212
00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:37,017
I pecked my boyfriend on the cheek,
213
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,394
perhaps making momentary
passing contact with his lips,
214
00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:40,938
in front of a class of his students.
215
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,941
We were in a serious relationship
at the time, and it is clear to me
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00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,818
that this behavior would not
only be tolerated but encouraged
217
00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:48,320
"if a straight couple did the same."
218
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,197
That's all I have.
It feels kinda defensive.
219
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,823
No, no. I think that's good.
220
00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,742
- You're in the right on that.
- Yeah.
221
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,202
Yeah.
222
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,620
Did you talk to Malcolm about it?
223
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,664
We hooked up today, actually.
224
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,666
Oh, my God. [chuckles]
225
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:03,126
Crazy. I didn't know
you guys did that still.
226
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,629
Yeah, barely. Sometimes.
227
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,841
Did you guys do it at the school
in front of all the students?
228
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,135
- Ha, ha, ha.
- I got you. I got you.
229
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,929
[Nick] Do you want regular or vegan pizza?
230
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,347
The vegan one.
231
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:16,598
Sorry, Nick's making dinner,
232
00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:19,768
and he's just basically
been trying to busy himself
233
00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:21,812
- since he lost the job.
- Mmm.
234
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,706
He's been making, like,
those Hello Fresh meals
235
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,190
that are too salty.
236
00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:26,400
Tell him I love him.
237
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,151
Evan says he loves you.
238
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,071
Aw. He loves you too.
239
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:34,324
Okay, I gotta... I gotta go.
I love you so much.
240
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,493
Okay, love you. Bye.
241
00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:38,453
["Nirvana" playing]
242
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,289
[sighs]
243
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:42,875
♪ I get lost in the nightand I'm with you ♪
244
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,918
♪ A thousand times ♪
245
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:50,257
♪ Ooh, you love me rightin Nirvana, so fast ♪
246
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,177
♪ You're the best part of a sad song ♪
247
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:57,556
♪ You got me all out of breathToo fast ♪
248
00:09:57,639 --> 00:10:00,267
♪ And I miss you when I'm going home ♪
249
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:04,730
♪ And I've been running in circles again ♪
250
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:07,399
♪ But I swear that I can feel the end ♪
251
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:10,110
♪ If I'm not in Nirvana ♪
252
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,530
♪ You're not out of my head ♪
253
00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:24,833
♪ I've been out there runninglike a lonely soul on fire ♪
254
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,253
♪ Everybody's talking ♪
255
00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:31,381
♪ And I can't get through the night ♪
256
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:39,139
♪ Somewhere in the middleDid it ever cross your mind? ♪
257
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,727
♪ I get lost in the nightand I'm with you ♪
258
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:47,105
♪ A thousand times, ooh... ♪
259
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:48,565
Ow! Jesus!
260
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,484
Think fast, Marquez. Come on, man.
261
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:53,529
You can't just throw a ball at me
and then say "think fast."
262
00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,448
I can't anticipate a ball
that just appears out of nowhere.
263
00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:58,968
- Working on your defense statement, I see.
- I'm not allowed...
264
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,494
That's a piece of shit. I can tell.
265
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,597
How do you know I have to write
a defense statement?
266
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:05,290
Because I know things, man.
I got my ear to the grindstone.
267
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:08,168
You know it's "nose to the grindstone"
or "ear to the ground"?
268
00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:11,088
No, it could be whatever you want.
I got my finger on the pulse, okay?
269
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,631
- That's correct.
- Okay.
270
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:16,802
Put this in there: "I am being targeted
for harassment because I"... You...
271
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,096
"I am a proud gay man."
272
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,014
I'm not that proud.
273
00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,100
You gotta fight fire with fire
these days, Marquez.
274
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,227
Life's not a fucking poem.
275
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,437
- It's a full-contact sport.
- Ow. Jesus.
276
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:28,981
I'm just saying, man, like...
277
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:32,401
These kids, they want the power
they feel when they get you in trouble.
278
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,212
They're the inmates
who wanna run the asylum...
279
00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:35,237
It's not a bad point.
280
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,574
But the thing is the kid is not trying
to get power in the situation.
281
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:39,741
It's his mother.
282
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,911
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Linda Harrison.
283
00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:45,247
Oh, God. I'm not supposed to tell you.
284
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,915
- It's her son?
- I was supposed to…
285
00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:48,560
- He took your class...
- …keep it anonymous.
286
00:11:48,584 --> 00:11:50,854
Holy shit, dude. She's saying
because her son's gay, right?
287
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,504
- I didn't turn her son gay.
- I'm not...
288
00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:53,839
Well, you're sure about that?
289
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:57,259
It doesn't work that way, Markie.
You can't turn people gay.
290
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,052
I'm not saying you did it on purpose,
291
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:02,431
but, look, he sees you being you
and thinks, "That's how I wanna be."
292
00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:06,310
That's how I felt the first time
I saw Jose Canseco in person.
293
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:09,021
- Who is Jose...
- There he is.
294
00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:10,939
Eric "Not-So-Speedy" Gonzalez.
295
00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:12,524
17:51.
296
00:12:12,608 --> 00:12:13,609
Wow.
297
00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,673
[Monica] …which is why
I think this whole book
298
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:20,991
and the idea of people
being spied on 24/7 is bullshit.
299
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,243
- Don't curse.
- This is book club. It's fine.
300
00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:26,246
- It's not actual class.
- Still technically school.
301
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,570
This is coming from our teacher
who's being investigated?
302
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:31,668
How do you know that?
303
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,795
Come on. Everybody knows this.
304
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:36,024
You kissed your little boyfriend
in front of the students.
305
00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:39,676
Well, whatever I did or didn't do,
I'm not gonna talk about it with you guys.
306
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,179
Just claim they're attacking you
because you're Hispanic
307
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,616
- and they have a racist agenda.
- That has nothing to do with it.
308
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,868
Hispanic would never work anyway
because they can do, like,
309
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,936
one of those DNA tests and disprove it.
310
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:51,021
Oh, my God, Becca. He is Hispanic.
311
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,940
- In what way?
- His mom's from Colombia.
312
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:55,275
That's not Hispanic.
Hispanic means Mexican.
313
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:57,119
- I'm calling the cops.
- You're bullying me.
314
00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:59,088
You're bullying me
'cause I told you not to talk to me.
315
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,364
Look, Mr. Marquez.
316
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,408
You're gay, you're Hispanic.
This is a slam dunk here!
317
00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:06,161
Gay doesn't count anymore.
And he talks like a straight white guy.
318
00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:07,704
I think your voice is a little gay.
319
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,665
- Actually really gay.
- Oh, thanks.
320
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,518
If they're gonna get you,
they're gonna get you.
321
00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:13,126
There's nothing you can do about it.
322
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,050
They got me,
and I had everything going for me.
323
00:13:15,087 --> 00:13:17,422
Jeff, they got you for selling molly
at junior prom.
324
00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:19,299
I was doing it as a bit.
325
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:20,860
And they've all been trying to get me
326
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,136
since the first time
I wore those camo overalls,
327
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,932
- which I was also doing as a bit.
- Jeff, what do you mean by "bit"?
328
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,935
Just something I'm doing
and I really mean it.
329
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,104
- That's not right.
- Why would you stay at a job
330
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:34,022
- if they're treating you like this?
- Exactly.
331
00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:35,816
Because this job is important to me.
332
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:38,735
I like watching young kids bloom and grow.
333
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,946
Don't say that at your trial, okay?
It sounds creepy.
334
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,156
There's not gonna be a trial, okay?
335
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,784
You guys are fucking...
You're freaking me out.
336
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,388
- [student] You just said the F-word!
- [Monica] No cursing at school.
337
00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:50,080
[Evan] Okay. That's our time.
338
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,082
Hopefully, we can be
more productive next week
339
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,792
when your essays are due.
340
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:54,877
Thank you.
341
00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:57,171
Mr. Marquez, look.
342
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:59,006
We're on your side, okay?
343
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:02,134
Fuck those people who don't like
little gay kisses, you know?
344
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:11,643
Look.
345
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:15,272
New physics teacher hasn't learned
to not eat the nachos yet.
346
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,555
[Gwen] He's gonna find out soon enough.
In the bathroom.
347
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,527
I heard... Oh, God. There's bone in that.
348
00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:22,422
I heard he won, like,
best teacher in the state
349
00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:24,114
or something in Louisiana.
350
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,958
Hey, Froot Loop! Froot Loop!
351
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,295
- You can't call me Froot Loop, Markie.
- It's just the name of a cereal.
352
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,005
Then why don't you say "Cheerios"?
353
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,566
There ain't nothing gay about Cheerios.
354
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,234
- Listen. Evan, listen.
- What, Markie? What?
355
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:44,778
You're never gonna believe this, okay?
356
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,513
My students, they want me
to explain non-binary.
357
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:49,431
What does that have to do with me?
358
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:51,242
You're gonna give the speech.
It's your lucky day.
359
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,143
- No, I'm not!
- You know you want this.
360
00:14:53,227 --> 00:14:54,496
- No!
- This is your hero moment.
361
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,104
- Come on, buddy.
- Markie…
362
00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:58,565
Opportunity knocks. Who's home?
363
00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:00,585
- Evan's home. Evan, please.
- I'm not doing this.
364
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:02,629
You're gonna ask me three more times.
It's not happening!
365
00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:05,155
All right, everyone, listen up.
This is Mr. Marquez.
366
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:07,491
He is here to teach you all
about non-binary.
367
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,826
He is our very special gay guest.
368
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:12,621
Clap. Clap for him now, everyone.
369
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,540
- Clap.
- Gwen, what are you doing here?
370
00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:16,875
- Supervising. I'm covering.
- Don't you have a class?
371
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:18,669
- No, no.
- Why don't you teach it to them?
372
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,504
- You're the expert.
- I'm the expert?
373
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,005
I'm not... I'm binary.
374
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:25,384
- What?
- Doesn't mean what you think.
375
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,511
- You are losing 'em, dude.
- Okay. Hello, class.
376
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,929
My name is Mr. Marquez.
377
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:32,015
I am a teacher here at school
that many of you know,
378
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,851
and I'm here to talk to you today
379
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,979
about a subject that I think you all,
like, know about already
380
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:38,397
because you're all on Tumblr...
381
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,375
- [Malachai] Tumblr is dead.
- You're all on the Internet,
382
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:42,599
you're on TikTok and Instagram,
and you know this stuff,
383
00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:44,653
so I don't know why
you're asking me to explain it.
384
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,822
But a non-binary person, right,
is just somebody
385
00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:49,074
who does not identify as male or female.
386
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,200
Like a hermaphrodite.
387
00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:51,910
- No, not at all.
- Yes.
388
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,638
And that word
is not in use anymore, is it?
389
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,038
- I...
- Is it?
390
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:57,833
- I don't know. I...
- It's very simple, okay?
391
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,811
Your teachers this year,
we all had to state our pronouns
392
00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:01,920
- before class, right?
- We know all this.
393
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:03,764
Then why did you ask me
to explain it to you?
394
00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,382
You have been set up, hundred percent.
395
00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:08,218
Yeah, like, we've been recording you
this entire time.
396
00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:10,071
See, you were supposed to fail
at explaining it
397
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,656
'cause you're, like, horrible with words.
398
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,199
So that was finna go everywhere online.
399
00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,017
Oh, my God.
400
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,352
They just wanted to fucking film you
talking about it.
401
00:16:17,436 --> 00:16:19,122
- That is so...
- [Evan] That is very nefarious.
402
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,522
This isn't right.
403
00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:23,400
Please don't film your teachers
doing things like this, him or me.
404
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,778
I know he's worse than me,
but I don't need this on the Internet.
405
00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:29,299
- Please don't put that on...
- [student] I feel attacked right now.
406
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:31,450
- You feel like what?
- I feel attacked right now.
407
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,285
I feel attacked!
408
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,164
Here's my statement.
409
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,458
I also wanna say in conjunction with this
410
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:41,501
that this whole thing
is very messed up, okay?
411
00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:43,104
This has messed up
the beginning of my year.
412
00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:45,088
- It's...
- What's this in regards to?
413
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,925
What's... The investigation into
this completely innocuous thing.
414
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,551
Oh, my God. Evan...
415
00:16:49,635 --> 00:16:51,929
Expressing love
to my life partner at the time.
416
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:55,140
Evan, the investigation is over.
Sorry. I forgot to tell you.
417
00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:56,475
I forgot to tell you.
418
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,521
What the fuck are you talking about?
419
00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:02,773
The mom dropped the whole case.
The whole thing.
420
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,525
Done. Gone. Boom.
421
00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:06,235
- What?
- Well, she...
422
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:08,445
Well, apparently Markie talked to her.
423
00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:10,864
- Markie talked to her?
- Yeah, they're close.
424
00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:13,992
I don't know how, but yeah,
he talked some sense into her.
425
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:17,120
It's… done.
426
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,205
Yeah.
427
00:17:20,541 --> 00:17:22,292
Oh, my God.
428
00:17:22,376 --> 00:17:24,253
Um, no, but there is one thing.
429
00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:26,839
The district did say... did say one thing.
430
00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:28,048
Let me find it.
431
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:33,387
That you are strictly forbidden
from dating...
432
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,181
That you are strictly...
That you are strictly forbidden
433
00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:38,892
from dating faculty from now on.
434
00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:41,311
Hmm? You'll be fired, otherwise.
435
00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:43,105
You're okay with that, right?
436
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,189
Yeah.
437
00:17:46,859 --> 00:17:50,112
You should read my statement.
I spent all week on it. It's really good.
438
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:52,114
Oh. Uh, sure. Yeah.
439
00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,117
Oh, "To whom it may concern…"
440
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:59,288
"Gestapo" usually comes with a capital.
441
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:01,540
But it's really good. Really good.
442
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:06,295
[paper shredder whirs]
443
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,173
Markie. Markie.
444
00:18:09,673 --> 00:18:11,675
You talked to the mom. This is incredible.
445
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,427
Oh, dude, yeah. Don't even sweat that.
446
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,345
I've known Loudmouth Harrison for years.
447
00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:18,309
We used to call her Bass Mouth.
You wanna get a hook in there, don't you?
448
00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:21,393
This is phenomenal. Oh, my God.
The relief I am feeling.
449
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:23,312
Not a problem. You help me, I help you.
450
00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:24,955
What happened? What did you say to her?
451
00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:27,482
I walked into the country club
where she frequents,
452
00:18:27,566 --> 00:18:29,318
caught her three martinis in and said,
453
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:32,654
"Hey, back off, or I'ma tell everyone here
that your son is gay."
454
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,325
- You what?
- I mean, he is gay.
455
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,553
It's not lying. You know, it's
just hitting her with the truth.
456
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:40,162
Some people can't handle that shit.
457
00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:43,373
No, you can't use homophobia
to fight homophobia.
458
00:18:43,457 --> 00:18:45,876
- We work with the tools we have.
- No.
459
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,712
What's the big deal? I did you a...
Come on. Are you mad?
460
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,857
The big deal is I wanted
to win this for real, Markie,
461
00:18:50,881 --> 00:18:52,734
- not with threats from you.
- It's not a threat.
462
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:56,094
They're all gonna find out eventually.
I just offered to expedite the process.
463
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:58,388
I... This is about principles, Markie.
464
00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:02,976
This is about my right to exist
as a man in the modern world
465
00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:05,312
without being harassed by women like this.
466
00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:08,232
This is about ethics and... and ideals.
467
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,234
Wake up, Evan!
468
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:14,238
No one gives a shit about
your highfalutin ideals, bro. Okay?
469
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,532
Seriously. Life is a football game,
470
00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:19,159
and you keep showing up
in a goddamn tutu, all right?
471
00:19:19,243 --> 00:19:21,245
We were down, fourth and one.
472
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,497
I called the play, quarterback sneak.
473
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:25,374
Now we got a new set of downs,
474
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:28,293
and you can go stand behind
a bent-over dude again, all right?
475
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:32,714
I saved your job, man,
because you're a friend.
476
00:19:32,798 --> 00:19:34,341
That's what friends do.
477
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:38,554
We help each other out, and if that's
not part of your fucking code,
478
00:19:38,637 --> 00:19:41,640
then I don't know
what else to say to you, dude.
479
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,901
I don't understand the football stuff
you were saying…
480
00:19:53,819 --> 00:19:54,987
but…
481
00:19:56,405 --> 00:19:57,698
thanks.
482
00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,032
- Thank you.
- Wait, hold up.
483
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:00,701
All right.
484
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,537
Hey, anytime.
485
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,330
See? Anytime.
486
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:06,915
I got you,
487
00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:08,584
Froot Loop.
488
00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:10,168
[door slams]
489
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,671
["You and I" playing]
490
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:15,883
♪ But you're a liar if you saythat you're fine ♪
491
00:20:15,966 --> 00:20:17,566
♪ Bet you wonder if I think of you now ♪
492
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:19,303
[Rick] Evan! What up?
493
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,013
Have you met Harry, the new guy?
494
00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:22,639
He's looking for some dry erasers.
495
00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:24,892
Kids keep drawing bubble butts
on his board.
496
00:20:24,975 --> 00:20:26,226
This guy hoards everything.
497
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:27,728
[Evan chuckles]
498
00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:29,354
I do have an extra eraser.
499
00:20:29,438 --> 00:20:31,190
Hey, I actually forgot
to introduce myself.
500
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,108
- I'm Evan Marquez.
- Hi, Harry Daughtler.
501
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:34,276
- I...
- Nice.
502
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,028
Gwen said you're from Louisiana.
503
00:20:36,111 --> 00:20:37,613
Yeah.
504
00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:39,281
My home got destroyed in the storm so...
505
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:40,824
Oh, wow.
506
00:20:40,908 --> 00:20:43,660
Tryna build a new home here, you know?
507
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,579
That's great. I'm so sorry...
508
00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:47,706
It's not great. I'm sorry about the storm.
509
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:49,583
It sucked. [chuckles]
510
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:52,419
I like your shirt.
511
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:55,130
This white shirt?
512
00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:57,341
Yeah.
513
00:21:00,636 --> 00:21:03,972
♪ You and I ♪
514
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,142
♪ You don't wanna talk about it ♪
515
00:21:07,226 --> 00:21:08,644
♪ You don't wanna talk about ♪
516
00:21:08,727 --> 00:21:11,980
♪ You and I ♪
517
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:14,733
♪ We don't ever talk about it ♪
518
00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:16,443
♪ But in my head ♪
519
00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:19,613
♪ Oh, you saySay you still want it ♪
520
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:23,450
♪ That you're done with being lonely now ♪
521
00:21:24,493 --> 00:21:27,663
♪ It's you and I ♪
522
00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:31,667
♪ You and I ♪
42537
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