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1
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,600
# Here I go again
2
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,240
# I hear those trumpets blow again
3
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,280
# All aglow again
4
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:15,080
# Taking a chance on love
5
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,400
# Here I slide again
6
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:23,120
# About to take that ride again
7
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,160
# Starry eyed again
8
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,200
# Taking a chance on love
9
00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,360
# Things are mending now
10
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:37,040
# I see a rainbow blending now
11
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,960
# We'll have a happy ending now
12
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,000
# Taking...
13
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:46,600
# Taking a chance on love! #
14
00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,040
BELL RINGS
15
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,280
Good morning.
Good afternoon, madam.
16
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:54,960
Oh, yes, so it is! Good afternoon.
17
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:58,360
Um, I've arranged to meet
my cousin here, Mr Chesney.
18
00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:02,000
Mr Thomas Chesney. I was
wondering if he'd arrived yet?
19
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,080
No.
20
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,440
Ah...
21
00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:07,480
Not actually quite sure
what he looks like.
22
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,160
I haven't seen him
since I was four.
23
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,640
But he's a chartered surveyor
from Hartlepool.
24
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,800
You're quite sure there's nobody...
Quite sure, madam.
25
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:17,720
Ah. Well, I'll just wait,
if you don't mind.
26
00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,640
And if anyone should ask
for Miss Alison Little...
27
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:25,960
Thank you so much.
28
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,080
BELL RINGS
29
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,800
BELL RINGS
30
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,280
Ah!
31
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,240
Can I help you, sir?
32
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,320
Er, hope so, yes.
Trying to find a woman.
33
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,960
Ah, this is an hotel, sir.
I don't really think...
34
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,680
No, no, no, um, blind date.
35
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:13,120
Computer matchmaking stuff.
Name - Chance, Tom Chance.
36
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,120
Arranged to meet
a Miss Alison Hugh.
37
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,600
Said she'd be wearing
a pink and white dress. Any sign?
38
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,240
No, I haven't seen anyone
of that description, sir, no.
39
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,560
Ah. Yes. Er, coat.
40
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,240
I beg your pardon, sir?
Coat, needs hanging up.
41
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,400
Yes, sir.
42
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,440
Put this back for you.
Thank you.
43
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,840
Bit loose that. Ought to be fixed.
Could be dangerous.
44
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,880
We're very grateful to you
for pointing it out, sir.
45
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,800
Er, girl arrives. In bar. Okay?
Yes, sir. Good.
46
00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:01,880
Not... not Alison?
Yes, I think so.
47
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:05,000
You must be Tom.
Yes, got it in one.
48
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,200
Idiot behind the desk said
you hadn't arrived yet.
49
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,840
No, I wasn't entirely sure
he noticed me when I did.
50
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,040
Never mind.
51
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,560
Nice to meet you.
Drink? Anything special?
52
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,200
Whatever you're having would be...
Would be fine? Fine. Good.
53
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,160
Er, coat? Oh. Yes.
54
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:28,360
BELL RINGS
55
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,960
Yes, sir.
Two pints of lager, please.
56
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,440
Table over there.
The bar is open, sir.
57
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,760
I don't quite follow you?
58
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,720
Well, they serve drinks in the bar,
sir.
59
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,200
It is now open.
Don't want a drink in the bar.
60
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:44,880
If did, would obviously go there.
Order too difficult or something?
61
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,120
I'll bring them to your table, sir.
62
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,360
Good. On your way...
Yes, sir?
63
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,640
Coat, needs hanging up.
64
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,200
Right, sir.
65
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,920
Got here alright then?
Oh, yes.
66
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,080
I came straight
from the library, by bus.
67
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,480
Ah, bus. Yes.
68
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:14,120
Went on a bus once.
Not a good idea.
69
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,000
Only one seat,
covered in orange peel.
70
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,360
Back of seat in front
covered in four-letter words.
71
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,640
Married couple in row behind
having blazing row.
72
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,680
Child across gangway
puked into the aisle.
73
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,280
Bloke next door exposed himself.
74
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,080
Got off at the next stop.
75
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,920
Yes. I'm not surprised.
76
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,000
No.
77
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,080
Bus going in wrong direction.
78
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:44,040
Here you are, sir. Exactly
one pound and 96 pence, please.
79
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,440
One pound, 19 and tuppence.
80
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,160
Excluding gratuity, sir.
Yes, thank you.
81
00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,720
Thank you.
82
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:52,520
Thank you, sir.
83
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:56,600
Look, er, thought we might
go out for dinner this evening?
84
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,160
Oh, lovely.
85
00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,800
But first...
86
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,000
One would come clean.
87
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,960
Saves disappointment later.
Get my meaning?
88
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,000
Not really, no.
No, um...
89
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,480
Two people meeting each other
for the first time.
90
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,400
Obviously expectations.
91
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,760
But certain things
bound to come out later.
92
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:30,280
Better to let it all out at once.
Everything up front, agreed?
93
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:33,240
You mean, sort of confession time?
Sort of, yes.
94
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:36,120
Ah, yes, well, that seems
like a good idea.
95
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:39,160
I suppose I could start by
admitting that I'm not actually...
96
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,680
Um, er, sorry,
um, misunderstanding.
97
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,520
Not you to confess. Me.
98
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,720
Ah! Oh, I see, yes.
99
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,680
That'll probably be
a lot more interesting.
100
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,680
Long story though. Patient?
Oh, yes, I'm a very good listener.
101
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,320
Well, good. Er, start
with basic principles. Um...
102
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,560
Your mother ever
make plum crumble?
103
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,560
Plum crumble?
Yes.
104
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,200
Well, yes. She still does
as a matter of fact.
105
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,520
Tries to take all
the stones out first?
106
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,480
Mmm.
Yes, always one left though?
107
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,480
It's funny you should say that,
there usually is ...
108
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,680
Yes.
It's always my father who finds it.
109
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,440
Precisely. Precisely.
110
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:25,200
Coincidence. Fact, it happens
all the time all over the world.
111
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,000
Very little known about it.
Coincidence.
112
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,760
Man in Virginia, struck
by lightning seven times.
113
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,720
Seven times. Seems incredible.
114
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,040
Absolutely true. Looked it up
in "The Guinness Book Of Records".
115
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,880
Isn't that strange?
Yes.
116
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:40,440
Er, woman in Penang
had 14 husbands,
117
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,920
all committed suicide, all 14.
118
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,720
Incredible. Now, come to point.
119
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:52,720
Am personally, persistently
plagued by coincidence.
120
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:58,520
Ah, you mean that in life's
great crumble, as it were,
121
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,280
it's always you
who finds the plumstone.
122
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,600
Dogged by it every time.
123
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,320
Book into wrong hotel.
Pick up wrong suitcase.
124
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,160
Drive off in wrong car.
Mistaken identity.
125
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,920
Happens to me all the time.
126
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,160
And you think this could be
a serious drawback
127
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,280
to a relationship?
128
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,960
Could be. Could be.
Still, there have it.
129
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,400
Could both stop now,
go our separate ways.
130
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,240
Wouldn't blame you at all.
131
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,400
Wouldn't hold any hard
feelings whatever.
132
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,240
Put off plenty of women
before you.
133
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,320
LAUGHS
134
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,640
Still...
135
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,920
Give you a moment to decide.
136
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,080
Got to go to
the little boy's room.
137
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:41,760
Lager goes through me like
a hydro-electric power steamer.
138
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:45,800
Back shortly.
139
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,640
Decided?
Oh, yes.
140
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,400
I think I can risk dinner.
Brave girl.
141
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,800
Er, let me give you
a lift to library.
142
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,920
Oh, thank you, that'd be very nice.
Yes. Good, yes.
143
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,640
Ah, yes, er...
144
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,520
BELL RINGS
145
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,120
Yes, sir.
Coats, please.
146
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,360
And, er, manager on telephone.
147
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,120
Hello, manager? Yes.
148
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,800
Er, customer here.
149
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,320
Three points.
One - chap behind desk
150
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:51,240
got wet soil between the ears,
ought to be fired.
151
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:55,960
Two - bracket thing
by desk holding oar,
152
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,400
dangerous, ought to be fixed.
153
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,960
Three - body on floor below desk.
154
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:06,200
Large woman, ought to be moved.
155
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,960
Not at all.
156
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,280
All set then?
Car's just down the road.
157
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,600
Couldn't park it any nearer.
158
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,840
These coincidences of yours.
Yes?
159
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,240
Are they always bad
or are they sometimes good?
160
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,800
Varies. Varies. Er, usually
just bloody inconvenient.
161
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,720
Can be bad though.
Er, yesterday, for example,
162
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,440
got mistaken for
some kind of terrorist.
163
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,640
BANGING ON CAR ROOF
164
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,840
Oh, God, no! I can't stand it.
165
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:44,160
I tell you I can't stand it.
This is that pits!
166
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,480
This is the end. Oh, my God!
167
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,240
Anything wrong?
I just do not want it.
168
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,440
How could it happen? I just
don't see how it could happen.
169
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,840
Suspender gone?
Handbag been pinched?
170
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,800
I have locked the sodding keys
in the sodding car.
171
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:01,960
Stupid sort of thing to do.
Hmm.
172
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,400
I expect your husband or
someone's got the spare set?
173
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,040
My husband doesn't even know
anything about it.
174
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,480
That's the whole point.
It's not his car anyway.
175
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,400
It belongs to a...
gentleman friend.
176
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:14,480
Oh, I see.
177
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,680
And all I had to do was
to drive round to his flat,
178
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:20,880
get changed into these wonderful
clothes that he bought me
179
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,960
and then he was going to drive
round in about an hour and...
180
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,160
God! Why do these things
have to happen to me?
181
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,880
Could open the door here.
182
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,760
Do you really think so? How?
183
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:36,720
Well, I just need a piece of wire.
Er, put down window,
184
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,080
over handle, pull.
Oh, that's wonderful.
185
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,280
Except I don't think
any of us have got any wire.
186
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,520
Ah, I have. I think I've
got some in this bag here.
187
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,960
It was on one of the things
he bought me.
188
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,000
Yes. Yes, here we are.
189
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,840
Just need to untangle the hanger.
190
00:10:58,160 --> 00:10:59,880
Here we go.
Oh!
191
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,560
I'm terribly grateful to you both.
192
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:05,160
You can't imagine
what this means to me.
193
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,320
We've been planning this
for months, you see.
194
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:11,440
We've had to be so careful.
Oh, my God!
195
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,680
Is anything wrong?
196
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:19,440
That man over there,
it's my husband.
197
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,800
If he sees me here, he'll kill me.
198
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,200
He thinks I'm on an arc welding
course in Exeter
199
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,600
for my Open University degree.
200
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,360
WHISPERS:
I've got to get out of here.
201
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:32,240
Look, if your friend does
succeed in opening the door,
202
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,200
could you ask him to leave the key
behind the front wheel there?
203
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,280
I'll be back in about
a quarter of an hour.
204
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,160
I am most terribly
grateful to you both.
205
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,720
You'll never believe
what's just happened.
206
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,720
Hmm. Shan't be a second.
Trickier than thought at first.
207
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,920
Tom, I think you'd
better stop that now.
208
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,320
Finally, madam, I would
like to apologise myself
209
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,200
for any inconvenience caused
210
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,840
by the overenthusiasm of this
young officer to make an arrest.
211
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,840
May you both have a very pleasant
afternoon despite it all.
212
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,960
Oh, that's very gracious of you,
Sergeant.
213
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,240
Appreciate your coming down
so quickly, Walter.
214
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,240
Not at all, Mr Chance,
a pleasure. Madam.
215
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,160
Chance?
Yes.
216
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,840
I thought your name was Chesney?
217
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,960
You great lady's blouse.
Don't you ever read daily notices?
218
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,880
I'm sorry, Sergeant.
Do you know how many times
219
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,560
that poor sod has been wrongfully
arrested in the past month?
220
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:37,640
I heard it was about nine.
11 now.
221
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,440
Apart from your effort today.
222
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,160
Last night he was cornered by
one of the Anti-Terrorist Squad,
223
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,200
who threw him into the canal
as the quickest way
224
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,400
to make safe the bomb
he thought he was carrying.
225
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,520
If he ever decided to
publicise what we do to him...
226
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,520
It won't happen again, Sarge.
It had better not!
227
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,920
Come on, we're needed
at the Riverside Hotel.
228
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,240
They've got a bloke they found
standing in the foyer with a oar.
229
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,480
A what?!
An oar - as in rowing.
230
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,240
And two unconscious bodies
on the floor beside him.
231
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,360
He swears blind he's a chartered
surveyor from Hartlepool
232
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:07,440
and that he just found
them like that.
233
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,760
Cor, it's been a hell of a day!
234
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,760
Do you know there's
a woman in a spotted dress
235
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,040
hiding up a tree in Ashley Avenue.
236
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:17,040
I didn't ask her why.
I thought I'd rather not know.
237
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:20,200
Oh, it's been a hell of a day.
Hell of a day!
238
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:26,160
Well, now that we know we're not
the people we thought we were,
239
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,920
I expect you'll want to go back to
the hotel and meet the real Alison.
240
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:30,240
It hardly seems worth it now.
241
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,000
Reckon she must've been
the body on the floor.
242
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,200
Probably gone off
the idea of a date by now.
243
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,080
Could go back to your cousin,
of course.
244
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,800
Oh, no, I'd better
get back to work.
245
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,320
I'll write him a letter
or something. Um...
246
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:47,560
Hardly dare suggest it, but, um,
could go for dinner anyway.
247
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,280
Feel owe it to you.
Way of an apology.
248
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,080
Oh, that'd be really nice.
Ah, good. Thank you.
249
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,480
Oh, there you go. Raincoat.
250
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,720
WOMAN: Psst!
251
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,080
Psst!
252
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:03,960
Up here!
253
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,000
Ah!
254
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,320
I'm-I'm sorry to bother you again,
255
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,760
but could you possibly
give me a lift?
256
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,920
Anywhere will do, just out of here.
257
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,000
Yes, yes, yes,
of course, of course.
258
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,480
Oh! GIGGLES
259
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:22,160
Oh, I'm terribly grateful.
You see, I think he saw me.
260
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,680
MAN: Deirdre?
261
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,200
Oh, my God!
262
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,880
Deirdre, what are you
doing with that man?!
263
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,520
Leave me alone, you brute!
264
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:36,920
Harry, he's trying to kidnap me!
He molested me!
265
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,560
Harry, save me, save me!
266
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,760
He tried to molest me. Look there!
267
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,120
Perfectly prepared to offer
a dignified, reasoned explanation,
268
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:51,240
but a certain amount of experience
of these situations,
269
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,560
think it's probably better if...
Make a run for it! Yes.
270
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,520
Bon soir, monsieur, madam.
271
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,000
Yes, evening. Er, need a table,
quiet place, two people, please.
272
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,280
Bien sur, monsieur.
Suivez moi, s'il vois plait.
273
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,600
Ah, foreigner, yes. Um...
274
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,880
Need a table.
275
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,680
Quiet place, two people.
276
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,560
Mais certainment, monsieur.
Yes.
277
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,400
This way.
278
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,760
Good.
279
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:28,880
Alison, er, better watch out,
probably a bottom pincher.
280
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,840
I've got two sisters actually,
281
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,600
but they're both
quite respectable really.
282
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,880
I'm the only sort of
tearaway in the family.
283
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,280
Tearaway?
284
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,160
Hmm, can't seem to help it.
285
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,080
I don't mean to, but you know
I've given my parents
286
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,000
such a lot of heartache
over the years,
287
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,760
what with changing my job,
going out with men.
288
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,520
Ah? Ah, thank you.
289
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,040
Very much.
Thank you.
290
00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,960
Extraordinary.
291
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:04,160
Yes, er, changed job?
Not always librarian then?
292
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,440
Oh, no, always been
with the library.
293
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,640
It's just that I like to change
departments every so often.
294
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,760
I get restless, you know.
I'd only been there three years
295
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,400
when I changed to
references and indexing.
296
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,200
My father said I've got
to settle down sometime,
297
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,440
accept my responsibilities,
not let fancy rule my life.
298
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,520
Yes, yes. And the, um...
299
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,400
Men?
300
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,560
Well, man, really.
301
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,640
Mr Hensdridge. He's in charge
of references and indexing.
302
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,200
Was in charge.
He's retired now, of course.
303
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,120
But we used to see
quite a bit of each other.
304
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:48,040
Walks in the park at lunchtime
when his legs weren't too bad.
305
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,080
He lives in Eastbourne now
and my parents don't know,
306
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:55,200
but he wrote to me at Christmas.
307
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,800
I'm not talking too much, am I?
308
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,640
Not at all, Alison.
309
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,040
Fascinating conversation.
Please go on.
310
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,120
Oh, thank you.
311
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,280
You know, you'll probably be
very surprised to hear this,
312
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,280
but although I give
the impression of being
313
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:09,160
a terribly outgoing sort of person,
314
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,440
underneath I'm really
rather frightened.
315
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,280
Extraordinary that, isn't it?
316
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:17,800
Frightened? Mm. You? Yes.
Don't believe it. What of?
317
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,360
Oh, you name it and I'm probably
bloody terrified of it.
318
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,520
Spiders, flying, unemployment,
319
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,880
Third World War, death,
getting married,
320
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,560
not getting married, sex,
321
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,200
you, this place, waiters.
322
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:38,280
Ah, yes, well, er, can't do much
about Third World War,
323
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,360
but very happy
to deal with waiters.
324
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,000
Matter of fact, like to deal
with this one now. Mind?
325
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,320
Oh, do I have to do anything?
No, no, no, no.
326
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,600
Just sit back, relax,
enjoy yourself. Oi!
327
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,240
You, here!
328
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,040
Ordered soup 35 minutes ago.
329
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,920
If not here in 60 seconds,
strong words with manager, alright?
330
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,880
I've got a lot of other
people to serve, you know.
331
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:08,280
Soup here, 55 seconds.
332
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:09,600
Understood?
333
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,560
All I need, bloody little Hitler.
334
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,360
Sorry about this, Alison.
335
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,040
Oh, Tom, please
don't worry on my account.
336
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,640
You see, I'm not really
used to a...
337
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:21,960
Good lord.
338
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,360
I must say, your being firm
seems to have worked.
339
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,520
Um. Yes.
340
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,120
Thank you.
341
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,320
Thank you.
342
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:31,960
One moment.
343
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,160
Monsieur?
344
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,040
Soup cold.
345
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,240
Cold?
346
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,520
Cold?
347
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,160
Of course it's bloody cold.
348
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,520
You want soup in 60 seconds,
you get soup in 60 seconds.
349
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,240
You want hot soup, you have
to wait until it's bloody ready
350
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,000
like everyone else.
351
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,880
Soup away.
What?
352
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,920
Soup away. Manager here.
353
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,280
First you want soup,
then you don't want soup.
354
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,840
Make up your bloody mind.
Oh!
355
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,280
Did that deliberately.
No, I didn't.
356
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,640
Obviously did. Quite deliberate.
357
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,360
Deliberate?
Of course it wasn't deliberate!
358
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,200
If it was deliberate,
I would have done it like this.
359
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,640
ALISON SCREAMS
360
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,280
That was deliberate!
361
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,960
You plankton-brained
little pimple!
362
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,960
Enjoying your meal, monsieur?
363
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,320
Spotty little tussock here
364
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,400
deliberately spilt soup
on lady's dress.
365
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,760
I'm sure there is some
simple explanation.
366
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,600
Yes, very simple explanation.
367
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,840
Man obviously has quite
unnecessary vicious streak,
368
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,240
coupled with brain of tree frog.
369
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,760
If you will leave the matter
with me, monsieur,
370
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,600
I will make the full enquiry.
371
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,000
There's no need for any of that.
372
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:53,840
If fellow has anything to say,
can say it now to my face.
373
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,520
With the benefit of hindsight,
monsieur,
374
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,360
I think it was
a mistake to taunt him
375
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:05,760
when he was situated
so close to the sweet trolley.
376
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:10,040
Nevertheless, I can assure you
he has been discharged.
377
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,520
UTENSILS CLATTER
378
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,560
My humble apologies,
once again, monsieur,
379
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:17,680
but in two minutes your table
will be prepared. Mmm.
380
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,560
They just have to wipe down
the wallpaper. Yes.
381
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,800
Come on, hurry up and get changed.
Can I have the fur coat?
382
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,080
Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course.
383
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,360
I'll leave room,
give you chance to undress.
384
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,440
Oh!
385
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:32,760
Ah, yes. Could be right.
386
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,000
What?
387
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:38,680
Parents could be right.
Definite streak of the tearaway.
388
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,200
Well, I think you ought
to hurry up and get changed.
389
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,360
Ah, yes.
390
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,360
Ready then?
391
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,520
Yes, Alison,
look, been thinking...
392
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Ah... yes.
393
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,120
I think perhaps an apology
might be in order?
394
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:05,720
I hardly think you...
From me, that is.
395
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,680
Oh.
I don't know what came over me.
396
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,520
Well, I do, but ...
She never turned up, you see.
397
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:13,840
Who didn't?
398
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,640
It's not easy this job, you know,
if you're not used to it.
399
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,040
Menus here, soup there.
400
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,040
"Can we have another roll?"
401
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,520
"What's the turbot like?"
402
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,920
I'm actually a lecturer
in European history.
403
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,240
Ah.
404
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:29,920
Late 19th century,
that's my period.
405
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:31,840
Bosnia, Herzegovina,
that sort of thing?
406
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,680
Not specifically.
407
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,600
And I'm only fourth
in the department
408
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,360
and my salary wouldn't
keep her in underwear.
409
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:41,720
Oh, she's an invalid, is she?
410
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,160
And today was the day.
411
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,440
You know, THE day.
412
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,920
She told her husband she was
on arc welding course in Exeter.
413
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,720
Borrowed his car
414
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:02,800
and she was supposed to come round
this afternoon and...
415
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,520
Tom, do you think that...
416
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,320
Not just now, Alison.
417
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,160
But she never turned up.
418
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,160
400 quids worth of champagne.
419
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:16,000
Janet Reger underwear
and she never even turned up.
420
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,600
Not to worry, old son.
421
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,880
My advice, go home,
get a good night's sleep.
422
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,200
Everything seems better
the next morning.
423
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,560
Yes.
424
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,200
You could be right.
Yes.
425
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:30,480
Could be right.
426
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,960
Why did I have to tell the wife?
427
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,800
Alison, um, been thinking.
428
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:42,920
Um, don't really fancy
going back to dining room?
429
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,280
No!
To be perfectly candid with you.
430
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,320
Um, what you mean?
431
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,760
Like to suggest a change of plan.
432
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,920
Er, back to my place.
433
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:57,280
Well, if you promise
not to take advantage
434
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,760
of my distressed condition
and attempt to seduce me.
435
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,640
Scouts honour, Alison.
Perfectly safe.
436
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:09,720
Oh, never mind.
Let's go there anyway.
437
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,480
Oh! Hump!
438
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:17,760
What?
439
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:22,040
Key in jacket, back at restaurant,
probably at cleaners by now.
440
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,480
There must be something we can do.
441
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,480
Don't you keep a spare key
under the doormat?
442
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,720
In the greenhouse?
Any windows we could climb in?
443
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:29,960
Well, this one, Alison.
444
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,240
Always leave this open,
but too small.
445
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,040
Tried it before on similar
occasions in the past.
446
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,520
Oh, I don't know!
447
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,600
Here, hold my coat.
Alison, no!
448
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,240
No, no, fooled you,
449
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:42,640
respectable neighbourhood,
not really.
450
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,800
But there's nobody about, Tom,
and I can't get in with it on.
451
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,400
Now come on, give me a leg up.
452
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,560
Game girl, Alison.
453
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,240
Ooh! Oh!
454
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:58,040
That's it. Now just to the left,
I think you'll find a little, um...
455
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,680
Yes. Just, just...
456
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,320
Ah! Good evening, officer.
457
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,280
What's happening, Tom?
458
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,400
Alison, I think you'd
better come out now.
459
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,000
We've just hit another plumstone.
460
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,400
# Here I go again
461
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,960
# I hear those trumpets blow again
462
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,040
# All aglow again
463
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,760
# Taking a chance on love
464
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,120
# Here I slide again
465
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:35,080
# About to take that ride again
466
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,680
# Starry eyed again
467
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,840
# Taking a chance on love
468
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,320
# Things are mending now
469
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:48,520
# I see a rainbow blending now
470
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,520
# We'll have a happy ending now
471
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:52,960
# Taking...
472
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:58,480
# Taking a chance on love! #
35468
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