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(| Temimi Feras |)

My owner was unhappy
with the last shipment.

We need real aristocrats,
not their servants.

Then let's get to know each other.

Countess Marie.

- Charming.
- Thank you.

Countess, I have an
offer worthy of her lineage.

I can assure you, you will feel
like heaven in my master's castle.

- I think you loved father.
- You don't have a father.

You were immaculately conceived.

Count Rumyantsev's golden
scepter, decorated with diamonds.

- I am his father.
- Dad.

I swear I'll find you.

Mom, I love you so much!
Can you believe it?

The handless whore also has clients.
Rarely, but there are.

- Promise me you won't forget me.
- I have a very short memory.

Undress!

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(| Temimi Feras |)

BENDER: The Final Hustle
( Part: Third )

KORNYILOVISTS

For fifteen years I have been
smoking these cockroaches

out of all sorts of filthy
corners of the Russian Empire.

I will also clean your Solniechnomorsk
in such a way that it will satisfy you.

I believe you know this gentleman.

Where is this Turkish subject hiding now?

I hope in paradise.

Rest in peace, Dad.

What?

I don't know about the older one...

but this will be executed today.

The prisoner transporter was already there.

They are about to be taken to be shot.

How to kill?

As I say.

Shoot to death. Fuck them!

And why do they put you against the wall?

You are a listener.

My brother is the same.

He listens, listens, and then suddenly...
You never know what to expect from him.

Do you have someone? Brother, sister?

It's mom. in Constanta.

My father died, and now me too...
I don't even know why.

I don't even remember my mother.

My brother and I were born on the same day.

I normally

but my brother struggled,
so my mother died.

He still blames himself for it.

We are the same as two eggs.

In childhood, one body is one soul.

But then...

we parted ways.

But if there's something
wrong with one of us,

the other senses it immediately.

- What is this?
- The performance begins.

- Who are you?
- Ibrahim Sülejmán Berta Maria Bender-bej.

Turkish subject.

He is my father.

That remains to be proven, Murzik.

- Thank you comrade.
- There's really nothing.

Brother!

Circumstances have changed in such a way

that I have to reconnect
my fate with yours.

- What were those?
- Flying saucers.

No!

A holiday for someone, a
funeral for someone. C'est la vie.

For your birthday, son.

A boy is not a boy, a father is not a
father. You can decide now, Bender.

If you want something from
me, just say don't be shy.

Is this thanks for
saving your life again?

Or do you not believe
in my altruism at all?

"Trust no one in life.

They all want something from themselves,

that's how the world
works." Ibrahim Bender.

You got it, great.

Look at the poster.

- It's impossible.
- I do not like?

Now there are three.

One for me, one for you.
The third belongs to the lady of his heart.

Bender, I saw the balloon
go up with my own eyes

- and the scepter was on him.
- We are friends again.

Fifty-fifty.

You just have to get into the circus.

- Member Guten.
- Good afternoon.

We are looking for
Porfiry Kalyazhov's circus.

- Where is?
- On that.

- "Artists?" Circus?
- Circus.

- Deutsch?
- Yes.

I need it to the bottom.

- Big chandelier and so small...
- Collapsible.

What is a little picnic for the Benders,
is drunkenness for the Germans.

We enter the circus on a white horse.

We still need to find a Frau Stolz.

- I think I know where to find it.
- Zehr Good.

Porfiry Kalyazhov, the owner of the circus.

- Who can I respect in you?
- Is the owner a clown? Just kidding.

No no no. I'm funny.

Staff Captain Ametistov,
commander of Solniechnomorsk.

Call me all the artists.

This is impossible.

The artists are preparing
for tomorrow's performance.

And what does he actually want?

If I find what I came here for

the performance is cancelled.

Go to the circus.

Gentlemen artists!
This morning one of you

attacked the prisoner transporter
and killed all the guards.

I promise,

an honest confession saves the
perpetrator from being shot dead.

Think carefully, I'll watch your
performance in person tonight.

SZOLNYECSNOMORSZK

Princess, despite all
my respect for you, we

cannot afford to serve
you on credit any longer.

That is why I am asking you
to pay your bills immediately.

It's hard to find you
on this cursed beach.

Bring me your bill and
stop this disgraceful farce.

You have no idea what this revolution
of theirs has done to the Russians.

- I agree. We have an offer for you.
- Fraulein.

You are alive, what a joy.

Divide, make this strand disappear.

It doesn't fool a woman
who remembers her lips.

And may I know what this mascara is for?

- Don't you have the scepter?
- Almost.

- What...
- Princess, is something wrong? Who are these?

This is the same sweet young man
who promised to solve all our problems.

You green ear. How much
longer will you make us dizzy?

Sit down. Wealth is
almost in our pockets.

But we need Eva.

- Be my wife.
- Wife?

- Wife?
- Wife?

Temporarily.

A disgusting role, but
there have been worse.

And I?

He plays the obedient stepson, who is

a stranger to you,
so it will be difficult.

I won't let you go alone.

Do you speak German?
Then you will be deaf and dumb.

Brother.

Now you live alone, but for the two of us.

I live? I died with you.

Death is only scary at first,

then it permeates all of you.

I want them to be
responsible for everything.

Good.

- The guilty...
- I'm afraid.

...and the innocent too.

You think I can't do it?

I am able to. You see, he can.

When?

Soon.

Soon.

Do you remember the mutilated face of the
governor-general on the Anyichkin bridge?

When I got air pressure?

Then I put too much broken glass in it.

You make a bomb again.
But now big, the biggest.

Fill it with whatever you
want, glass, stone, nail.

Anything that tears flesh,
breaks bone, rips open belly.

We will take revenge on them.

- Who?
- On everyone.

In this whole damn world.

Well, finally!

Guten member, welcome!!

Welcome to the cage of predators.

I am the owner of the
circus, Porfiry Kalyazhov.

Karl Stolz.

- My son.
- This has yet to be proven.

The boy is growing up.

Good afternoon.
Das ist wunderbar.

A very good circus.
I think a full house is waiting.

Are you the mom

- Two. Second marriage.
- I'm stepmother.

You are charming, Frau.

Our deaf and mute assistant.

Congratulations, Mr. Porfiry.

- Dear Mr. Stolz!
- Yes.

I've heard a lot about
your unique number.

Juggling upside down torches...

Well, this is fantastic!
At such a height.

Too bad, of course, for his
nephew, who was burned alive.

He was a good boy.

Forgive me...

it was his niece.

But always to love, to be boyish.

Sign the contract.

There you go. The pen.

Nope. In advance, Herr Porfiry.

Herr Stolz, advance payment
after the tenth performance.

- Nope.
- No no no.

Advance now.

According to the contract,
after the tenth performance.

Nope! Nope! I never
work without an advance!

Nope!

It doesn't work that way here.

How much?

Five. And alles.

- Where does the money come from?
- Bender doesn't work without an advance.

So it's an imitation.

I am very happy.

What a beautiful accessory. Please.

This is the first time I see this.

It seems to do after model.

- How do you get here?
- The original.

The original.

Gentlemen, you won't believe it!

It drifted ashore.

There was even women's underwear!

Women's underwear also floated out.

Madame tried to
wear it but it didn't fit!

Where is the original?

- The original?
- Yes.

- Of course, if the gentlemen are interested.
- I really care.

The thing is, I took it to the
market, but they don't know what it is.

They say it's an unknown instrument.
Or mortar and pestle.

- Or a nutcracker.
- Mortar and pestle.

Well, gentlemen, take no offence,

but we have everything in the safe.

Here, I packed it here,
it's completely safe with me.

- What?
- Where is the scepter?

It was here first.
I checked myself in the morning.

It was here, but not this piece.

You are not a juggler but a magician.

Mr. Stolz, I...

I swear I had it in the morning.

If it was still there in the
morning, it was stolen recently.

And someone from their own.

And he has the same problem as jugglers.

You need to find a buyer.

Germans! At least they would
have left an instruction manual.

Let me put it together now.

We won't put this
chandelier together in a week.

My dear, remember that
you are deaf and mute.

I don't understand why it has to be put
together if we're not going to perform anyway.

Lady, until we have the
scepter, we'll stick to the tale.

We are everyone's Stoltz, so our
wonderful performance continues.

- Holy heaven, Ossya!
- Forgive me.

Mr. Stolz.

Mr. Kalyazhov wants
to talk to you there.

Ah, Stoltz,

or who?

You are not who you say you are...

colleague.

What does you want?

I need help.
For the four of you.

The fact that you are not
Stoltz does not bother me at all.

I have a full house, all
my tickets are sold out.

Lots and lots of kids.

I'm going to blow up this
circus and you're helping me.

Porfiry... Comrade Porfiry.

The thing is, we have big plans.

We are preparing for terrorist
attacks across the country,

and we don't want to
disturb your bloody feast.

We want to leave early.
Why do you need us?

And "Devil's Chandelier"?

We signed a contract and
I paid the down payment.

I need "Devil's Chandelier".

Anyway, I suggest you practice the work.

It's not ready yet.

Your mother is divine.

Ossya, Ossya!

Disaster.

What?

The clown wants to blow up the circus.

He suggested that we take part in it.

He thinks we are terrorists too.

- And you?
- I had to agree.

- Is you out of your mind?
- I had no other choice.

Bender, I think to hell
with the scepter, run.

No, Ossya. People would die,
I wouldn't take that to heart.

He blew up kids!

And I won't go without the scepter either.
I'll get it even if I die.

After the explosion, there would
be nothing to look for anyway.

Anyway, we have very little time.

We will fish with live bait.

- Heinrich.
- Yeah?

There is a lady answer.

There's a catch, son. The main
thing is to get in on time. Good luck!

- Heinrich, you captured me.
- Yes?

How can a young man captivate a
middle-aged but vigorous woman?

- Frau Clara...
- Fraulein.

Yes, Frauline Clara.

Our circus tours and collects
valuables in many countries.

Maybe you have something for me?

Of course. Follow me.

I have a little piece just
for you. A real treasure.

Here it is.
In my tent, Heinrich.

And it's all yours.

It shows the promised treasures.

- Yes.
- And where are they?

Heinrich, in front of you.

- No no no.
- Yes Yes Yes.

- Frau...
- Fraulein.

- Fraulein.
- Fraulein.

- Unfortunately, I have to go.
- Heinrich, where are you going?

Fraulein...

What are you doing? A little!

Maybe it's time to discuss our plan?

Why divide into four
what can easily be halved?

You can easily play the
role of the evil stepmother.

As you did with your gullible father.

My back!

From the looks of it, it's not you

who's hunting the treasure, but you.

Very funny. It's like
I'm in the belly of a squid.

- Did you see the dwarf?
- He ran there first.

- He seems to have the scepter.
- What?

Quietly, Ossya, and not a
word to your fake princess.

I think he's playing with decked out cards.
Wait here.

You know, squid is still on the menu,
but midgets are not my table. Good luck!

Peep! Good night, gentlemen.

I think you have what I really need.

You are a horrible person,
you make poor girls dizzy.

Who are you, Osztap?
How many masks does you have?

You are offended because I
am completely open with you.

I don't believe you anymore.

Need proof? Good.

Bender now went to the
dwarven tent for the scepter.

This woman is flirting with her stepson!

Do you see it? You have to pull
the truth out of yourself with pliers.

What do you want? I didn't do anything.

Business first.

He scares a defenseless woman.

You are so strong, so big, so wild!

Growl, torment.

I'm loud, but I'll listen.
I will be silent, as will you.

I'm a beast!

Gentlemen, do you have the
gold bar you stole from the juggler?

I'm willing to buy it for five grand.

- Fifty.
- Gentlemen, stolen property. Five tousand.

- Five.
- Forty.

- Five thousand, gentlemen.
- Thirty.

- Nope. Five tousand.
- Twenty and alles.

Nein, five thousand.

- Ten and alles.
- Good. Show me the scepter.

Show the money first.

No, I need to make
sure you have it with you.

- Show me the scepter.
- The money, the money!

- The scepter.
- The money.

- I'll have it by tomorrow.
- Tomorrow the money, tomorrow the scepter.

Good. Please don't
mention our discussion

to anyone again.
That's dangerous.

Just go on, go on, dear guests!

Full house, Porfiry Petrovich,
the auditorium is full of children.

All because of "Devil's Chandelier".

Put in extra slots for the
base captain and his men.

- Closer to the arena.
- Please wait!

Death is the ideal spectacle.
Everyone is impressed.

I will not kill children.

- I'm going to the staff captain...
- Shut up, shut up.

...he will stop you.

Just kidding. I was joking.
I was joking, don't believe me!

- Were you kidding me?
- I was joking, nothing will happen. Nothing.

Good evening, dear audience!

I, Porfiry Petrovich, am glad
to welcome you to my circus!

The best of the best will
perform before you today!

The highlight of the program will be

a deadly number, "Devil's Chandelier"!

Oh my God...

To the stage, quickly.
I will announce their number.

Give us a minute.
We must pray before it.

That's right, pray.
After all, we're about to explode.

There are so many
explosives in their chandelier...

There are women and children there, think!
Don't do it, Kalyazhov, stop!

They took my brother from me,
and I will take their family from them.

Do you remember how Blok was in "Twelve"?

"To the great trouble of the
bourgeois, we throw ring into the world,

I'm bleeding with
blood, Help me, Lord!"

- Stop! Kalyazhov!
- Gentlemen! Herr Stolz!

Quiet! They are about to see what
they have been waiting for so long.

The "Devil's Chandelier"
has finally arrived!

I'm arresting him for attacking
the van and killing circus performers.

Mr. Tribesman, there are a
few more suspicious artists here.

- "Devil's Chandelier"!
- We were robbed.

Now they arrest and shoot
with them as assassins.

I'm not leaving here without you.

Nice to see you, Ibrahim Bender.

Ostap Zadunajskyi.

Well, Mr. Stolc is waiting in the arena,

and you are the gallows.

- Give orders!
- Tribe centurion, one moment.

Let these crooks do
something good for us.

You have to fill the break
while the real ones change.

I am waiting for you in the
room, it will be very interesting.

Dear ladies and gentlemen!
Dear audience!

You can see the fatal number right away!
The faint of heart please leave.

Dear ladies, this is no joke.

Grab the kids and leave the circus!

Go! The explosion
is about to happen!

An explosion of
applause, laughter and joy!

- There's a bomb here!
- Bomb!

"The Devil's Chandelier" is a real bomb!

Okay, no kidding.
The real show begins.

Now we count to three
with you, and our chandelier

descends into the arena,
and what will sound?

- Explosion!
- Explosion! Explosion!

- So, are you ready?
- Yes!

- A!
- A!

This is the most counterintuitive
show I've ever seen.

Is that all you can do?

Lower the chandelier, blow up the

circus and destroy innocent souls?

- Innocent souls?
- Yes.

No, there aren't any here.

Two! On it, everyone together!

Your brother made a revolution,
and you fight with children.

He decided to avenge his brother.

You killed all the guards, but
your brother didn't save you.

Look in the mirror.
You killed your brother.

- This is your work!
- They have nothing to do with it here.

I'll kill myself.

And yourself along with everyone else.

- Three!
- Out!

Out!

Take the kids!

Ossya!

Ossya!

Ossya, save the girl!

What are you waiting for?

Sincere condolences.

But if the business still stands,
we are ready to sell the scepter.

God, I know he's not a saint at

all, but if you take a closer look,

you will find that there
are many good things in it.

If you really exist, let
me live a few more years!

Somehow my son, a few years are not enough.

I'm ready for fifty, even a hundred.

Sir, don't listen to him.

- Dad.
- Oh, son.

Excuse me, monsieur, it
wouldn't hurt to pay the money.

Wait here, the money will be brought soon.

God, don't listen to him.
More like a hundred years.

Gentlemen, you have disappointed me.

You are not the real Stolz, not the real

Princes Maruszidze, and
not even real assassins.

- Who are you?
- Commander, we are frauds.

My son, how did I teach you? We,
your honor, are artists who punish

people for their wrongdoings,
making a little profit out of it.

Yes. Do I understand correctly
that we are under arrest?

What?

Young man, I deal with political crimes.

Such a...

fraudsters like you should only
be dealt with by the criminal police.

I'm grateful for saving my
people, but I want to warn you.

Don't let them come into my sight again.

Do not be alarmed, Your
Highness. He can no longer see.

It's an honor for me.

Don't worry my young friend.
No scepter, no problem.

Even breathing is easier, isn't it?

Stop them!

- Stop, stop, stop!
- To stop!

Where is our money?

- What money?
- They tricked us!

Kid, get the banana out of your ear.
At least we know why we die.

We gave you the scepter.
Where is our money?

- What kind of scepter?
- Who was it given to?

- To whom, to whom... His assistant!
- To the Deaf Mute!

Oh my God!

What makes you feel like this?
I can't see the joy in his eyes.

Well, he spoke.

I liked it better when
it was deaf and mute.

What should I be happy about?
Good, we have this cursed scepter.

The point is that I can save
the one I really love with it.

Just keep these Benders out of our asses.

They have no chance now, make no doubt.

Although they will be missed a little.

- Telegram, Mr. Hammer.
- Yes?

According to our information, the
artefact has left Szolnichesnomorszko...

and set off for Constanta
on board the "Titan".

You have thus left the zone
as far as our responsibility

extends and it is now in
your hands. Lev Trotsky

Do you want to answer?

Of course.

If you want it to go well,

Do it yourself.

You, yourself, yourself.

Get ready, Dr. Real.

We're leaving.

I have never met such a
guard even in a bank in Tbilisi.

Good afternoon!

- They smell like a verse.
- Let's go there as loaders.

Okay, so you're a harbor master?

Good for such a small performance
in front of a naive audience.

This is a more serious opponent.

- Are you the captain of the ship?
- Yes.

How can I be of service to you, lady?

Only you can save me.

Everything you want for you, lady.

All the more because your
Carmen is waiting for us.

My husband follows me.

A sadist, a bandit with his accomplice.
Here, enjoy them.

At this moment, he is showing
our pictures to the captain.

I tell the guards not to let him in.

You'll find a way up, trust me.

But what do you want from me?

Save my family value.

That's what he's hunting for.
This is all I have left.

I will keep your family
valuables in my own safe.

Bender, what does he give her?

Oh my God! The scepter!

Thank you.

He gave him the golden right,

my dream, with such diamonds!

They capture us, hand us over
to the guards, then shoot us on

the beach without trial or
investigation. Congratulations.

- Captain.
- Yes?

We have a delicate matter here.
A pregnant lady.

- Tell me there's no room.
- Captain, I'm sorry...

the lady claims she is pregnant by you.

Where are they? Show!

- They are?
- Reasons.

We'll take care of it.

What's up ladies?

- He is?
- Well, he is.

- It's you.
- Please come.

Let's stand aside.
What does "he is" mean?

Look what he did.

- Who is he? I?
- So who?

Maybe it grew on its own or what?

Cilja told me everything.
This is my daughter, Cilja.

I am the mother and you are

the father of this future sea bear.

But I am an exemplary family man.

- I have four children! Two...
- And there will be a fifth, the sea bear.

- Fifth?
- Yes.

I'm about to throw up his hat.

We are ready to raise your
little boat girl ourselves, but

we need to get on the boat
and the tickets are sold out.

Ah, that's about it.

- Do you know what you are?
- Otherwise, about his exploits

the whole ship is informed, but especially
your mug, that one with a hole and a hole.

- What?
- His banya, Tsarevich Ivan.

- Who?!
- His wife!

Is she still married?

Hurry, because he's about
to throw up his medals.

Escort them to the ship.
Let me through!

You know, if something
had happened, it wouldn't

have been with your
daughter, but only with you.

Goodbye then, Casanova.

Peep.

Bored, handsome boy?

- What can I do?
- On business.

God... I don't quite get it.

My Cilia is ready to forget you
and raise her offspring alone. But...

this will cost money.
I suggest a thousand and we're gone.

What is the proof that it is my child?

Five hundred, my hopeful son-in-law.

I can feel your safe is full of money.

Take it easy. Finish this.

Please. On.

A hundred and it makes
me happy here and now.

First the money.

- First comes first...
- The money!

- ...and then that.
- Calm down!

- Captain.
- What?!

A radio message has been received.

They request that we get Mr. Hammer
on board as a matter of urgency.

Get out of here!

It's not you, you stay.

Take a seat, lady.
I'll be right back.

Mother-in-law.

Wait.

You bastard!

Holy shit. It gives
me heart trouble.

Didn't they teach you to knock?

I grew up without a father,
my upbringing is incomplete.

- So?
- There is.

Let me try.

- Wait, don't disturb me.
- Let me try.

- Do Not Disturb.
- Dad, let me try.

- Don't touch me!
- My intuition is good.

Do it, do it!

Bender, which eight number could it be?

Any combination! I don't know,
the squares on the chessboard,

- the pages of his favorite book...
- Think, combinator.

I do not know. It's his
favorite daughter's birthday.

- There are four.
- Good, four girls, but eight numbers.

Day and month, Oszenyka.

Not true. This luck!
On it, try it!

- Aleksasenyka, April 4.4-4.
- Got it.

- Svetlanocska, 3-7.
- 3.7.

Lenocska, May 1.
He is the little one. 1-5!

And Varenyka, February 7.7-2.

Command me.

Here, here.

- My son, after you.
- Seniors have priority.

- After you.
- Stop.

- Here, Please.
- I'm waiting.

We are like Chichikov and Manilov.

We've been waiting for you...

I do not understand.

He has the scepter!

I'll take Eva.

Eve. Eve.

Eva!

Mademoiselle.

To stop!

He's so big, but he can't handle women.

- You are alive!
- Where is the scepter?

Dude, I didn't mean to hurt you.

- Where is?
- I didn't lie to you about my feelings.

- There is?
- What?

What?

No!

Share, no.

- Yes!
- No!

What can I thank you for visiting?

There is something on
your ship that is mine.

What is that?

A golden scepter with large diamonds.

I have to go.

My parents are dead.
Only my younger brother is left.

His name is Vladek.

We moved to Constanta a year ago.

Fleeing from hunger, I
started working for the master.

He is a terrible person.

And what makes it so terrible?

Everyone says he's immortal.

- I'm begging you...
- Wait!

He sent me for the scepter,
holding my younger brother hostage.

Please.

After all, he only has a heart!

Come on, take it!

Please let me die.

What does it say here? Get out of here!

I can see he is willing
to do a lot for this trinket.

Arrest him.

Who is there?

Not funny at all. Come forward.

Come forward!

Got scared?!

- Who are you?
- Vladek.

Do you live here?
Where are your parents, Vladek?

- Died.
- Poor thing.

Aren't you afraid here?

I, for example, am very afraid
of all ghosts and shadows.

No, I'm not afraid.
The master controls them.

And when I grow up, he will
teach me to command them.

How can you say that?

What shades? What ghosts?

Vladek, why are you scaring our guest?

Look, his face is all gray.

He is our little imagineer.

Come on, go to your room.

For heaven's sake, forgive me.
Still a child.

- And you...
- Me?

Master Crowley, master of this house.

- Are you well placed?
- Yes thank you.

I just don't understand why I'm here.

Well, we've met, Mr. Bender.

He won't shoot you.

- And who will stop you?
- SHE. Just wait.

Captain! This monster
wants to kill me.

Protect me. This is a horrible person.

You harass me, and I love
you, or I fell in love with you.

With all my heart.

Finish this comedy.

Mr. Hammer, is this your thing?

- Yes, it is mine.
- Take it.

No, it's our stuff.
At least pay him.

Here's the scepter or our money back!

- Follow me, ladies!
- Bourgeoisie!

And on?

They hand him over to the police and
then send him back to Solniechnomorsk,

- where they hang out.
- Any ideas?

Sailor, let me take
one last look at the sea.

The beach is not far.

For three. One two Three!

CONSTANCE

Welcome to Romania, Ostap Ibrahimovics.

How do we find it
in a city this big, huh?

Hammer is overbearing, so he
stays in the most expensive hotel.

And the most expensive
hotel in Constanta is one.

Aren't you tired of these stupid tricks?

I admit I'm disappointed.

I kept wondering: who
took the scepter from me?

Who shook off Tarasevich, Kotovsky,
the Cheka and the white bandits?

I thought you were older,
more experienced, but you...

You are a snotty street kid.

Did he really think he could cheat?

Well, there was hope.

Do you really not respect me?

First, you have to find out
where the person's heel is.

- His heel?
- His weak point.

And what is mine?
Just out of curiosity.

His vanity.

He could have taken
me downstairs, but he let

me in here to see my
humiliation, didn't he?

He thought you were in control,
you were playing the piano.

But the piano, my friend, was you.

If they ask you about the bruises,
just say, "The piano hit me."

Your level is the little rascals
and the provincial widows.

He made a huge mistake with me.

Or I just wanted him to think so.

Sometimes the opening of the most refined
trick is right in front of your nose.

Or behind the door.

Bender! Wait for me at the monument!

Sorry, I didn't get the humor.

- Drive!
- Squad!

Eva, of course I want to go with

you, but I have to find my mother.

- He will be lost without me.
- And my brother without me too.

Get it before I change my mind.

Tell me, when this is all
over, how do I find him?

Wait for me in Constanta.

- Éva, listen...
- Share, please.

Let me come clean with myself.

If you love me.

- Bender.
- Holy shit!

I'm cold as a dog. Isn't it
just sad? Cheer up your dad.

- Where is the scepter?
- I gave it to Eva.

Oh my God! How would you turn up!

Alas, this is not
allowed, it is not allowed.

You are alive! Oh my God,
he's someone else's child.

You send everyone a normal
boy, of course a fool for me!

Because I didn't follow my
own rule: don't trust anyone.

And I trusted a baby in love!

- Bender!
- Just nothing Bender!

I already had the scepter in my hand.

I was in Rio de Janeiro
in less than five minutes!

Now look at me, what do I look like?

I'm 40 years old.
With a ponytail, say 37.

I am older than Christ. I have
neither teaching nor disciple left behind.

Only the "holy sky"!

Look at our poor.

Yes, imagine, I gave it to Eva!

Because I, unlike you,
at least love someone!

And these are your "never trust anyone"

rules, forgive me, they don't suit me!

Here's the thing, Bender. Now
we'll go get mom together, then we'll

go to Éva together, and if she's
telling the truth, we'll save her.

If he lied, we'll just take the scepter and go
to Rio. What don't you understand about that?

Bender, it's time to
start trusting people.

His hand.

Good. Here's my hand.

And here's the other one.

For tricking the dad.

It is not good to hit a child, but it can be
done once for educational purposes. Only once.

Where is my brother

Is everything okay with him?

Why are you listening?

Did you bring it?

- Are you done with that?
- A deal is a deal.

You have done your part
and are doing what you want.

Madame, we are looking for a compatriot.

What is the name?

Don't you remember mom's name?

- Not really, just on the face and breasts. Sorry...
- Enough!

Maria Fyodorovna Zadunayskaya.
Maybe you heard something?

No, I didn't hear it.

Didn't you hear? It's
very strange, because the

police said that it was
you who got him out of jail.

Young man, what would
the police tell you about me?

They tire me.

If they don't leave
immediately, I'll call the guards.

Voila, son. We did
everything we could.

- Bender, that says something.
- Let's go.

- Hey!
- Some other time, madame.

Gentlemen! Follow me.

- Madame.
- I warn you, you are risking a lot.

- We appreciate this, talk.
- Where is he?

Well, the Master's man
took him... the Master...

Well, they say he knows
the secrets of life and death,

rules with natural
magnetism, and talks to spirits.

- Isn't this the one Eva was talking about?
- And who eventually became our scepter.

Tell me, isn't your name
Crowley by any chance?

Yes, that's it, Crowley.

Oszenyka, two at once.
Jogar and mom in one place.

- Master's title?
- I heard 70 verses from here.

In a horrible castle with
a hunchbacked servant?

Exactly. In a castle.

And that horrible hunchback
comes here from time to time.

Lord have mercy.

He chooses servants,
only those of noble blood.

Strangely, no one has returned yet.

- My little spy.
- Go to your sister.

It's over baby, I'm back.
We're out of here, get ready.

Shall we go?

You can choose.
You can do what you want.

I'm not going.

- Why?
- I'm fine here with Uncle Crowley.

Okay, enough of the nagging!
Done, go!

- Leave me, I'm not going!
- Departure.

- Give me the child!
- Eva.

- I'm not going!
- Give me the child!

- Eva, Eva...
- Give the child here!

- Eva, Eva!
- Get off!

It scares the child.

- What did you do with it?!
- Can't you hear?

He says: "It's good for me here."

Do you want your little brother to do well?

Well. Come on, run to play.
Running!

Vladek! Baby!

Goodbye.

I'm not going anywhere
without my little brother!

Does it stay?

If you stay, make yourself useful.

I won't feed you for free.

I have guests coming, so welcome
them and start smiling already.

Although no, I changed my mind.
Be somber, match the place.

My brain won't work on an empty stomach.

We're eating now, and then
we'll hit on this Croki of yours.

- Crowley.
- What is the difference?

- Creepy place.
- And the people are not very friendly either.

We're just having a bite.

Everything was calm
until this master appeared.

That's when the whole hell started.

Look, we are not friends of the master.

We're just guessing, like you.
What should we know about it?

After he bought the abandoned
castle, the rumors started.

They began to say that he kept
Sabbaths with bloody sacrifices.

At night, disembodied shadows
of ghosts swirl above the castle.

- Did you see this too?
- With my own eyes.

Listen, and not before...?

Gentlemen, I repeat, strange
things are going on in this castle.

Why don't you squeeze it?

On what basis? I have no proof.

I searched the house three
times and found nothing!

And if I whisper, how
can you get your tailcoat?

Within the legal framework, of course.

If you can figure it out, I
will be very grateful to you.

Gather all able-bodied
people in the area and

come to the castle at
dawn. I'll let you know.

The master asked him to
put on this dress and be ready.

Ready, but for what?

It will give you strength.

What, you're not afraid at all?

My son, you are too old
to believe in fairy tales.

I suspect this is a charlatan.

He has made a sinister name for
himself and is scamming naive aristocrats.

A scared customer is more willing to pay.

Although in my time I did it
more seriously, God forgive me.

There are no miracles, Ossya,
but people want to believe in them.

Behind every miracle is a
cunning man who is looking for it.

- Eva is there too.
- Where?

Receives customers.

Wonderful. We go there.

God, what are you doing here?
I asked for it!

- Good evening Eva.
- Long time no see.

I hope you understand why we came?

What they came for is in Crowley's
treasury and they cannot access it.

Eva, we came for my mother,
Marija Fyodorovna Zadunayskaya.

Maybe you heard something about him?

- My God... Is she your mother?
- Yes, why?

- Osji, I really feel for you.
- Did you see him?

- He is part of the ceremony.
- What ceremony?

Sacrifice ceremony.

Eva, if you would be so
kind, we have to get in.

Well. But on one condition.

They help save my little brother.

By all means. From now
on call me "savior Ibrahim".

After me then.

- What the hell is a sacrificial ceremony?
- Calm down, Ossya, what are you talking about?

This is the twentieth century. Now,
come forth, with the vampires' ball!

Éva, what do you mean by sacrificial
ceremony? What do people pay money for?

- They get immortality.
- Wow!

- I don't advise you.
- Why?

It comes with a feeling of
euphoria and a complete lack of will.

My God.

He does it big.

- Mom!
- Is she the mom?

What is it, you don't recognize it?

Well, from this perspective.
After all, twenty years have passed.

Well, it's in good hands.

This has to stop. I go there.

What is he doing?

We are in the circus again,
mom is part of the show.

In fact, he has the main role. You
should be proud. Everything here is fake

- Do you think?
- Of course.

The spider web, the columns: props.

How many shows do you
need per day to break even?

At 12 o'clock, 2 o'clock, 4 o'clock
and 6 o'clock the children's version

and after 7 a tough one for adults.

He laughs in vain.

Good night ladies and gentlemen.

For some of them, this night will
be not only good, but also lucky.

One of them came into
this room as a mere mortal,

and exits here with
the gift of immortality.

A bloody river of life
flows from this noble lady.

And whoever drinks his
blood becomes immortal.

An innocent child nominates
who wins the grand prize.

- On your knees.
- It's nothing, my God.

Repeat after me.

Paor, socer, vesper, gener.

Lizer, mezer, asper, tener!

Congratulations! Fate
decided. Stand up.

No no no no! Mom!

Share? Share...

I think you are wrong, young man.

But for God's sake, don't worry.

The same fate awaits your
mother, only a little later than you.

Peace of mind! Do not move!
Anyone who moves gets a bullet.

- What do you wish?
- The scepter.

- And the mother!
- And mom, and we'll go.

And you can continue your bloody theater.
Everyone is doing well.

Calm, calm!
They are just a cheating couple.

An owl calls a sparrow. In his
place, I would be more careful

with words, after all, none of
us are different from the other.

It seems he called me his colleague.

Of course. Only you are
worse, you are a murderer.

- Bender, let's go.
- The scepter!

It does not exist.

The devil. I couldn't make a mistake.

The thing is, I'm immortal.

Will you allow it? Thanks.

Ladies and gentlemen!
We have a great night tonight.

Today, instead of one lucky person,

immortality will be given to four.

Well, I told you.

How did you catch the bullets?

Listen, this is a joke.

Like the monkey in the zoo.
Hold out your hand, you'll get a banana.

What would be the point?

Share, we wanted to
be rich and we die rich,

gold bars even in the
middle of a great collection.

This is Nefertiti, right? My God!

And that is the Gioconda,
my dear good mother...

It's fake. The Gioconda
is in the Louvre.

The fake is in the Louvre,
everything is original with him.

We are rich corpses.

- Eva, can I have your hairpin?
- Why?

I don't want to wait for them to kill me.

How much we suffered
because of this scepter...

How many times have they tried to kill us.

Papa Mendel, Miska Japoncsik, whites,

reds, Chekists, Kornilovists, Batyka.

Then that crazy clown with the devil

chandelier, and now the devil himself.

But fate gave us a chance every time.

God loves us.

When did you start
believing in God, Bender?

He who meets the devil
will believe in anyone.

Lord, please give us another chance.

Will it sit there for long?

Shall we go or stay here?

- This is the hand of God.
- This is Eva's hairpin. Let's try.

At least I'll die in his hands.

Share, wait!

Why can't he just wait his turn?

I already understand how it all works.
But how did he catch the bullets?

I put blanks in the gun, he
takes the bullets out of his pocket.

The mother!

Back!

We used to work in the circus,
but it's not the same money.

I agree.

- Mama...
- Oh, who is he?

She's... my fiancee.

- Bride?
- Bride, bride.

- Share, but when did you do that?
- Mom, it's not important now.

What is not important?
Mademoiselle, do you at least love my son?

Sorry to interrupt you.
Capture!

- Do you have ammo?
- Yes.

Young man, this is not a nice thing.

He interrupted my holy
service for the second time.

Good night, ladies and gentlemen.

It will be good for someone,
like my family for example,

and it will be the last for
someone, just like this one...

supposedly an immortal vampire.

Gentlemen, we have a rogue in front of us.

It's not all real.
A prop, a fake.

Except for the ammo in the gun.
Yes, I have now filled it with live.

Let Osztap go! Quick!

Gentlemen, you have been duped.
It's a circus. I was right, Ossya.

The terrible sounds, this thunder,
are all tricks with a gramophone.

Gentlemen, before us is a not
untalented, frankly, illusionist magician!

Well done, well done.
Rather, he's a Satanist magician.

Because his conscience is
burdened by many ruined souls.

And the police will be here
soon, I already told them.

Where to gentlemen? Stop!
Wait, where are they going?

You are the witnesses.
Stop, stop!

They will still be complicit.
Hey where? Where, where, hey!

Where, where, Crowley?
God, it's not funny.

Is it worth being stubborn? He would
have given the scepter and that was it.

- His greed is killing him.
- Bender!

- Devil!
- Your stupidity will kill you.

- Where is the scepter?
- Here!

The scepter or I will kill you.

Give it to him!

- Because of trinkets...
- No, not because of trinkets.

Because of the scam I was
preparing for a year ago. A whole year.

Do you have any idea how
much this is going to cost?

This castle, this machinery,
the latest marvels of technology,

all the special effects?

This was my life's work.

- Where is the scepter?
- I'm dying, but I won't tell.

Why?

Because it's not just a
scepter, it's our family heirloom.

I'm ready to die for
the family, you know?

Wake up, look around.

Everyone is at war with everyone,
the whole world is covered in blood.

Wives cheat, children
betray, parents leave.

You can only trust me with money.
You know why? You know?

Because money has no
feelings and emotions.

Not too long ago, even I
thought the same as you, my God.

But then my son appeared.
You know, he convinced me.

You have a family?

You have a wife? Your children?

No? To whom will you
leave these treasures?

For the hunchback? To this
overgrown giant, or to whom?

You are not immortal.

You will die, Crowley, and
nothing will be left behind.

Uncle Crowley, are you fooled?

- Not a wizard?
- No.

Pope!

We'll go, I'll take her with me.
Departures!

Eva!

- Hocus Pocus.
- That's how you do it.

One was sharp, the others were blind.

Don't let him go and save the boy.

Until then... my mother.

Fast!

Let it go!

To stop! Everyone stop!

Out of the way! Or I'll kill the boy.

Not!

- Master, what are you doing?
- Shut up!

Let them go!

Let me through!

Vladek, baby, everything will be fine.

Good luck to everyone!
We're going.

Chicken catcher!

You can't do that with children.

What are you fools? Tie it up!

Everything is fine, my angel.

Ma'am!

- It's all over, madame.
- And who are you?

How come? I am Osztap's father.

I understand your feelings
and would like to apologize

because of these 20 years
that I didn't spend with you.

I admit, I'm a noob.

Forgive me, for God's sake.

- But who are you?
- Forgive me.

Share... He knows nothing.

She still thinks I'm Liza.

Lisa, his mother, is my friend.

He died when he was two months
old and I adopted him as my son.

Now you understand why
I couldn't let him see you?

- Please forgive me.
- No, you behaved nobly.

Forgive me.

- Did he say Lisa?
- Yes Lisa.

I always have his portrait with me.

- He is?
- Yes.

Not possible.

I have a very good memory for
faces, but this face is not familiar to me.

What do you mean?

I mean, this lady could
have had an affair with

another Turkish subject,
not me. Coincidence.

Oh my God!

Wait, that's...

- So, you... and we...
- We are complete strangers to him.

And now what to do?

I suggest we get to
know each other first.

Ibrahim Sülejmán Berta Maria
Bender-bej, Turkish subject.

The dad. And you, mom?

Countess Zadunayskaya Marija
Fyodorovna, née Rumyantseva.

Masha for you.

- I'm very happy.
- I hope so.

Osztap, listen to me,
please, but don't interrupt me.

I am very grateful for
everything you have done for me.

- You are very good. You to me...
- Eva.

Wait! I asked her not to interrupt
me, it's not easy for me anyway.

That's how things turned out.

We are very different,
we cannot get along.

- I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet.
- Eva!

You don't have to tire yourself.
I didn't love you at all.

I didn't even like it.

- How?!
- That's right.

Don't lie! I can always
tell when he's lying.

In other words, you can
lie, but I can't. Wonderful!

Yes, I'm free, I'm a woman.

So, women have everything
in the world! Interesting!

- He didn't even love me!
- Did I fall in love with him?

- Oh, my God!
- But how?

You think I don't remember
how you kissed me then?

Who kissed who? What? What?

- You are a cheeky little liar!
- Would I be cheeky? Of course.

But even now he looks at me
with the eyes of a stray dog!

I can't even look at you!

What? Kiss!

- Can we congratulate you?
- Will the honeymoon be in Paris?

Mom, Dad, there will be no honeymoon.

We're taking a break
while we think it over.

No break!
I don't want to see it anymore.

Or so.

However, Éva played the role of
the stepmother perfectly. Thanks.

Please. According to this, half of
the treasure is mine, as we agreed.

Promise is a nice word.

- Excuse me, and me?
- We'll talk about it later.

- A moment. Are we finally rich now?
- Fabulous.

The only thing we would
keep when dividing Crowley's

treasure is the scepter.
This is our family heritage.

Please.

- The rest is fifty-fifty.
- No.

We will definitely return
the Gioconda to the Louvre.

Oui, as you command.

Papa, you're starting to look like Crowley.

- Spit, Ossya. God Save!
- Then what is this polite walk?

No, his philosophy is a
straight path to the guillotine,

but I want to live, because
life is beautiful, my son.

Dreams come true, I'm finally happy.

To hell with smoking.

I can't believe it's all over.
I can finally play in the theater.

- "But I'd rather open my own!"
- Ghost.

What?

- A ghost from the past.
- We don't believe in ghosts, do we?

That's right.

Let's have a coffee, we have a lot of time.

We didn't talk too
often, like father and son.

We'll have enough time now.

It's just an appearance.

Time is the most insidious
trump card that cannot be beaten.

And just when you think
you've won, the past hits you.

Never leave a debt, Ossya,
then you won't have to look back.

And then you will move forward in life.

Dad, you know, I thought...

the theater is of course
great, but I'd rather

open my own film studio
and make a film about love.

Wonderful. About love.

Keep this flag in your soul.
Good boy?

- Here, this is yours.
- Mine?

In other words, I can
call myself right now

Osztap Ibrahim Sülejmán Berta
Maria Bender-bej, a Turkish subject?

Turkish subject.

Go now.

- Where?
- Take mom and go to the station.

For what? We still have a full hour.

- Time to go to Paris.
- For us?

- And you?
- To Rio de Janeiro for me.

I changed my mind.

I needed the scepter

and i got it. Now we part ways.

Papa, didn't Crowley bite me?

I'm talking to you, Dad.

Listen. Don't call me
papa, I'm not your father!

- And I never was.
- What?

- But you and mom?
- He knows.

I just didn't want to make you sad.
We're not even acquaintances.

Are you joking.

Wipe off the snot, Count, and be gone.

Get out of here, Murzik!

Oh my God.

Peace be upon you, Ibrahim.

Marhaba, Rahim-bey.

It's time to pay your debts.

Maybe some other time.

Share it!

It's time. Where are the tickets?

Lord Almighty, what have you put here?

What is this here?
Where are they now?

- The scepter?
- What kind of scepter?

- Ah, here they are.
- Count Rumyantsev's, the family heirloom.

This is it?
I'm completely out of my mind.

- He tricked me.
- Baby, I know.

Sensation! Ibrahim Bender was killed!

- What?
- They killed Ibrahim Bender!

Sensation, sensation!

Share, my boy.

He was even kinder to
me than my own father.

You know, he was a guilty man, but now

that he's gone, I can tell you the truth.

Ibrahim Bender is your real father.

That? Wait a minute...

- are you a guilty person too?
- Well...

I was seventeen years old.

How did you meet?

- At a spa.
- You said at a ball.

Well,

there was a ball in the lounge
and we met at the ball, at the spa.

You know, it was a wonderful
evening, and your father

is so handsome, he
was... just like you are now.

You are a perfect match.

He came over, introduced
himself and asked me to dance.

- And you?
- I agreed, I was seventeen years old.

And he took me dancing, and you
know, that's when I knew it was him.

He is.

- Who?
- The dad.

- Share!
- Papa!

Hey, we're going to Paris.
Hey, I tricked you.

He is not your father.
I swear Ossya! I swear.

I don't believe you, I
don't believe you, mom!

I love you so much, I have your ticket.

- Travel to Paris.
- I'm going to Paris, Ossya!

Bring the Gioconda back
to the Louvre immediately!

Bender!

Aleksandr Blok from "Twelve".
Poem translated by László Lator

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Aleksandr Blok from "Twelve".
Poem translated by László Lator

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