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1
00:00:10,461 --> 00:00:13,660
Oh, darlin'
2
00:00:13,661 --> 00:00:18,237
I love you in the mornin'
3
00:00:18,238 --> 00:00:20,636
I love you
in the afternoon
4
00:00:20,637 --> 00:00:22,716
Chuck, you know I love you.
5
00:00:22,717 --> 00:00:25,204
Of course, Betty
I love you too.
6
00:00:25,629 --> 00:00:28,060
And I know I've made you wait
a long time.
7
00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:31,606
Yeah A long time.
8
00:00:31,837 --> 00:00:34,652
Well, tonight, that all ends.
9
00:00:34,653 --> 00:00:36,507
What do you mean?
10
00:00:37,277 --> 00:00:38,652
Chuck...
11
00:00:38,653 --> 00:00:41,271
tonight is the night
I'm going to give myself to you.
12
00:00:41,821 --> 00:00:44,275
I'm ready to take things
to the next level.
13
00:00:44,637 --> 00:00:47,505
Are you sure?
We're gonna do it?
14
00:00:49,181 --> 00:00:50,904
All right.
15
00:00:51,069 --> 00:00:53,272
Whoa, darlin'
16
00:00:56,860 --> 00:01:00,155
Whatever I have to do
17
00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:03,416
Oh, pretty baby
18
00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:09,111
How I'm in love with you
19
00:01:25,596 --> 00:01:27,419
That was awesome.
20
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,306
Yeah.
21
00:01:29,564 --> 00:01:32,091
But...
22
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,747
now that my virginity is behind us,
23
00:01:34,748 --> 00:01:37,682
I think I'm ready to take things
to the next level.
24
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,346
What do you mean?
I thought we just did.
25
00:01:40,347 --> 00:01:43,195
Come on, Chuck,
don't be coy.
26
00:01:43,196 --> 00:01:45,146
You know what I mean.
27
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,903
Anal
28
00:01:47,356 --> 00:01:48,850
Seriously?
29
00:01:49,499 --> 00:01:53,050
Yeah I love you, Chuck,
and I know you love me
30
00:01:53,051 --> 00:01:55,603
And that's why I want you
to stick it in my ass
31
00:01:56,475 --> 00:01:58,171
Giddy up, horsey
32
00:01:58,172 --> 00:02:00,822
Come on, let go
33
00:02:04,188 --> 00:02:05,370
Yeah
34
00:02:05,371 --> 00:02:07,866
Who's riding your pony?
35
00:02:07,867 --> 00:02:10,298
Horny pony
36
00:02:10,299 --> 00:02:12,218
Oh, yeah
37
00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:18,067
They've seldom seen
of your contemptuous greed
38
00:02:19,611 --> 00:02:21,338
Wow
39
00:02:21,339 --> 00:02:23,706
I know.
40
00:02:23,707 --> 00:02:26,362
That fucking ruled!
41
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,385
But
42
00:02:27,386 --> 00:02:29,207
But what?
43
00:02:29,371 --> 00:02:31,225
Well
44
00:02:31,226 --> 00:02:34,457
it's just now that
the ass sex is in the bag
45
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:37,655
I think we're ready to
take things to the next level
46
00:02:38,522 --> 00:02:40,278
What other level is there?
47
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,345
Get an extension cord
48
00:02:46,171 --> 00:02:48,186
Next level!
49
00:02:48,187 --> 00:02:49,681
Who are they!?
50
00:02:50,363 --> 00:02:52,020
Next level!
51
00:02:52,218 --> 00:02:55,251
Ohh!
52
00:02:57,082 --> 00:02:59,504
Next level!
53
00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:02,031
Next level!
54
00:03:04,442 --> 00:03:06,710
No more levels!
55
00:03:09,594 --> 00:03:11,862
I'll be right back
56
00:03:19,770 --> 00:03:22,322
Maybe I rushed things
57
00:03:41,050 --> 00:03:44,824
Sex me up
and I'll sex you down
58
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:48,088
Whatever you want
is my command
59
00:03:48,089 --> 00:03:51,832
I'm into S and M,
I lead the butcher farm
60
00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:55,608
And now don't you understand,
I'm into any ma'am
61
00:03:55,609 --> 00:03:59,192
Sex me up
and I'll sex you down
62
00:03:59,193 --> 00:04:02,616
I get on the floor,
I'll turn around
63
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:06,040
Get on my hands and knees,
on your command I'll freeze
64
00:04:06,041 --> 00:04:09,751
I hope this never cease,
come get me, won't you please
65
00:04:09,752 --> 00:04:13,272
But she won't hold me
and she won't squeeze me
66
00:04:13,273 --> 00:04:16,760
From what she told me,
she'd never please me
67
00:04:16,761 --> 00:04:20,471
But she won't hold me
and she won't squeeze me
68
00:04:20,472 --> 00:04:24,497
From what she told me,
she'd only tease me
69
00:04:37,656 --> 00:04:39,248
She said
70
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:45,751
I said
71
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:49,111
Sex me up
and I'll sex you down
72
00:04:49,112 --> 00:04:52,855
Sex me up and
I'll sex you down
73
00:04:52,856 --> 00:04:56,085
Sex me up
and I'll sex you down
74
00:05:01,751 --> 00:05:04,055
Remember, students,
it's Sexual Awareness Month.
75
00:05:04,056 --> 00:05:06,806
Gentlemen, pick up your free condoms
in the gym,
76
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,878
- and ladies, lubricant is available...
- I got laid last night
77
00:05:09,879 --> 00:05:11,894
- Same chick as the night before?
- Are you crazy?
78
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,359
I can't have the same chick
comin' around two nights in a row
79
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,110
That's bordering on a relationship
I like to play the field
80
00:05:17,111 --> 00:05:19,958
See, this is exactly what I don't
understand How does he do it?
81
00:05:19,959 --> 00:05:21,943
He just goes out
and gets it done, man,
82
00:05:21,944 --> 00:05:23,030
that's how he does it
83
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,366
You can't sit around and wait
for Santa to bring you some ass
84
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,678
under the tree
85
00:05:26,679 --> 00:05:28,502
Dude, how psyched are you
for first period?
86
00:05:28,503 --> 00:05:32,470
- Mr. Matthews' sex-ed class
- Man, that dude's a total freak
87
00:05:32,471 --> 00:05:35,510
I can’t wait to go in there and talk about
all the ass we've slammed
88
00:05:35,511 --> 00:05:37,142
It's gonna be awesome, bro
89
00:05:37,143 --> 00:05:39,117
No doubt, bro
90
00:05:42,039 --> 00:05:43,926
I can't take this class
91
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,355
Why not?
92
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,629
Why not? Did you not
just hear that conversation?
93
00:05:48,630 --> 00:05:52,406
" -How much ass we've slammed?"
- Yeah, bro
94
00:05:52,407 --> 00:05:55,670
Exactly The class is just gonna be
with a bunch of pervs
95
00:05:55,670 --> 00:05:58,358
who are open about their sex lives,
and frankly, I don't have one
96
00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:01,781
That's sad You're not bad-lookin'
And your legs work
97
00:06:01,782 --> 00:06:03,733
I'm not gonna have sex
with just anybody,
98
00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:05,846
I know that’s what
you are thinking right now
99
00:06:05,847 --> 00:06:07,541
Sorry, not gonna happen
100
00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:10,069
Doesn't have to be just anybody
Look. Look, look
101
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,233
How about you start off with
a nice little virgin like Betty?
102
00:06:14,135 --> 00:06:15,573
Hey, Betty
103
00:06:15,574 --> 00:06:17,781
Okay, everyone,
bring it on in,
104
00:06:17,782 --> 00:06:20,661
we got a lot to do,
and little time to cover it
105
00:06:20,662 --> 00:06:23,957
I can feel the sexuality brewin'
in here already
106
00:06:23,958 --> 00:06:26,645
- Oh, no Stacy's in this class?
- What do you mean, "Oh, no?"
107
00:06:26,646 --> 00:06:28,533
You've been trying to tap that
since fifth grade
108
00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:31,157
This is an opportunity
You're in a class with her
109
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:32,565
Go talk to her!
110
00:06:32,566 --> 00:06:34,613
- What would I say?
- Listen, all a girl wants
111
00:06:34,613 --> 00:06:37,173
is for you to be yourself
So do that... be yourself
112
00:06:37,174 --> 00:06:40,850
Or just shake your dick at her
You know, whatever feels right
113
00:06:42,678 --> 00:06:44,533
- Hello
- Hello
114
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,093
Hey, Stacy
115
00:06:46,966 --> 00:06:49,485
Looks like we're gonna be
having sex together
116
00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:51,157
What!?
117
00:06:51,158 --> 00:06:54,997
Ed S... class
Sex-ed class together
118
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,716
I'm sorry, I just... y'know
Whoo!
119
00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:59,220
Bye
120
00:06:59,221 --> 00:07:01,332
Yeah... talk to ya later
121
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,349
My name is Mr. Matthews
122
00:07:03,350 --> 00:07:06,325
First off,
there's no teachers in here...
123
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:09,492
just a bunch of people
exploring their sexuality
124
00:07:09,493 --> 00:07:12,148
Right? So once you
enter through that door,
125
00:07:12,149 --> 00:07:14,228
you're comin' through
a No Bullshit zone
126
00:07:14,229 --> 00:07:16,692
That's right... I said "bullshit"
127
00:07:16,692 --> 00:07:19,540
Huh? We're keepin' it real
in here, people
128
00:07:19,541 --> 00:07:22,451
Fart, fuck, shit, cock, ass, cunty cunt!
129
00:07:22,452 --> 00:07:23,892
All rightie
130
00:07:23,893 --> 00:07:28,084
Now, listen up Teen sexuality
is a living, breathing thing,
131
00:07:28,085 --> 00:07:30,899
and we're gonna explore that concept
from every different angle
132
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,788
we can get our greasy little hands on
133
00:07:32,789 --> 00:07:35,220
And you're gonna share
I'm gonna share right now
134
00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:37,267
Hell, I've had sex with koi fish
135
00:07:37,268 --> 00:07:38,931
There, I've said it
136
00:07:38,932 --> 00:07:41,651
Sometimes you find me naked
down at the bottom of a fun-ball pool
137
00:07:41,652 --> 00:07:43,508
at your local fast food restaurant
138
00:07:43,509 --> 00:07:44,947
True story
139
00:07:44,948 --> 00:07:48,755
Okay, let's do a little
role-playing exercise in here
140
00:07:48,756 --> 00:07:50,707
I want each and every one of you
141
00:07:50,708 --> 00:07:53,139
to decide that you're gonna
have sex with someone
142
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,507
for the very first time
143
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,779
Okay, partner up, people!
144
00:07:57,780 --> 00:08:00,083
Stacy needs a partner
Seize the day, bro
145
00:08:00,084 --> 00:08:04,655
Hell, screw the day
Seize the booty
146
00:08:36,564 --> 00:08:40,523
That's a good union there
I like that I saw that when I came in
147
00:08:42,419 --> 00:08:44,370
- Mr. Matthews?
- Yes
148
00:08:44,371 --> 00:08:46,705
I don't think there's any girls left
149
00:08:47,571 --> 00:08:50,802
Mike, human sexuality isn't always
between man and woman
150
00:08:50,803 --> 00:08:52,242
Stand up, Doug
151
00:08:52,243 --> 00:08:55,026
Class, I'd like to introduce you
to our first gay couple...
152
00:08:55,027 --> 00:08:57,298
Mike and Doug
153
00:08:57,299 --> 00:09:00,146
Now, just because they'll be
experimenting with
154
00:09:00,147 --> 00:09:03,282
man-on-man lovemaking
and assorted humbuggery,
155
00:09:03,283 --> 00:09:05,394
don't treat 'em any differently
156
00:09:05,395 --> 00:09:07,474
Mike, I think
you're gonna be on bottom
157
00:09:07,475 --> 00:09:10,223
Okay
158
00:09:12,435 --> 00:09:14,802
I'll be the stay-at-home-dad
159
00:09:14,803 --> 00:09:16,330
What?
160
00:09:22,643 --> 00:09:24,273
Mark
161
00:09:24,274 --> 00:09:27,729
So, Matt, what advice do you
have for young people about sex?
162
00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:30,257
Advice Uh
163
00:09:30,258 --> 00:09:33,106
guys, be responsible
164
00:09:33,107 --> 00:09:36,209
You know, always wear a rubber
165
00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:40,049
Of course, it feels way better
to do it without one
166
00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:42,321
Unless, of course,
it's a Vietnamese hooker,
167
00:09:42,322 --> 00:09:44,433
and then I think you just
take your chances
168
00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:46,897
As long as there's a naked chick
somewhere in the room,
169
00:09:46,898 --> 00:09:48,561
you are not gay
170
00:09:48,562 --> 00:09:51,441
If you have an STD,
do not tell your partner
171
00:09:51,442 --> 00:09:53,681
It is a lose-lose situation
172
00:09:53,681 --> 00:09:55,952
Fellas, be nice to your partner
173
00:09:55,953 --> 00:09:58,193
In the morning,
if she needs a ride home,
174
00:09:58,194 --> 00:10:02,033
point her to the nearest bus stop
before you go back to sleep
175
00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:03,593
Be a good guy
176
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,888
Today one out of three
young adults
177
00:10:07,889 --> 00:10:10,129
has a sexually transmitted disease.
178
00:10:10,130 --> 00:10:13,904
And letting a former hook-up know
that you've got genital cooties
179
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,727
can be pretty hard.
180
00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:21,361
Now there's an easier way!
181
00:10:21,362 --> 00:10:26,184
At STD-E-CARDS, you can
share the bad news with one click.
182
00:10:27,089 --> 00:10:29,072
Pick from such messages as,
183
00:10:29,073 --> 00:10:32,240
"You gave me your heart,
I gave you gonorrhea",
184
00:10:32,241 --> 00:10:36,299
or” Thanks for the blowjob...
sorry about the herpes" .
185
00:10:37,745 --> 00:10:39,184
It's from Kevin!
186
00:10:39,185 --> 00:10:41,648
That hot guy
that you hooked up with this weekend?
187
00:10:41,649 --> 00:10:43,152
- Yeah
- What's it say?
188
00:10:43,153 --> 00:10:45,360
"Roses are red,
violets are blue,
189
00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:48,492
I gave you syphilis
when we screwed at the zoo"
190
00:10:51,473 --> 00:10:52,943
That was easy
191
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:58,093
STD-E-CARDS,
where bad news travels fast!
192
00:11:02,577 --> 00:11:05,808
Attention, students,
prom is fast approaching.
193
00:11:05,809 --> 00:11:09,671
Get your free STD screening
in the nurse's office.
194
00:11:14,161 --> 00:11:16,880
- Hi, Carla
- Oh, hey
195
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,191
Hey, listen, um,
196
00:11:18,192 --> 00:11:20,207
I know it's kind of last minute,
but, um,
197
00:11:20,208 --> 00:11:23,087
I wanted to know if you'd maybe
want to go to the prom with me tonight
198
00:11:23,088 --> 00:11:26,767
Oh, I'm sorry, Justin,
someone already asked me
199
00:11:26,768 --> 00:11:27,823
Three weeks ago
200
00:11:27,824 --> 00:11:31,086
Oh... oh, okay
That’s that’s all right
201
00:11:31,087 --> 00:11:32,909
Well, have fun, though
202
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,846
Oh, check out your cock!
203
00:12:00,847 --> 00:12:04,261
Oh! Oh, honey!
204
00:12:12,911 --> 00:12:17,068
I've been using these
since the Eisenhower Administration
205
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:19,918
Can I help you?
206
00:12:19,919 --> 00:12:21,038
Huh?
207
00:12:21,039 --> 00:12:22,860
Uh... uh, no
208
00:12:34,383 --> 00:12:37,001
Oh, honey...
209
00:12:39,599 --> 00:12:42,500
She's a real beaut, isn't she?
210
00:13:17,453 --> 00:13:19,842
This just isn't right
211
00:13:37,101 --> 00:13:39,719
I wish we'd met years ago
212
00:13:41,293 --> 00:13:44,013
My whole high school experience
would have been different
213
00:13:44,014 --> 00:13:51,404
Every day, the one thing
I can count on
214
00:13:51,405 --> 00:13:53,644
So much love
215
00:13:53,645 --> 00:13:58,732
It's like a river
with no end
216
00:13:58,733 --> 00:14:00,843
So much love
217
00:14:00,844 --> 00:14:05,740
The minute it seems to stop,
it starts again
218
00:14:05,741 --> 00:14:07,948
So much love
219
00:14:07,949 --> 00:14:12,971
You've given me so much love
220
00:14:12,972 --> 00:14:17,925
Don't you know
you've made my dream come true
221
00:14:19,981 --> 00:14:23,339
I've always wanted
to see the Grand Canyon, too!
222
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:26,891
They brought me you,
you brought me love
223
00:14:26,892 --> 00:14:30,475
Dreams come true
every day with you
224
00:14:30,476 --> 00:14:33,061
So much love
225
00:14:34,956 --> 00:14:38,251
Justin, I haven't seen you
around much lately
226
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,043
I've been busy
227
00:14:40,044 --> 00:14:41,771
Well, prom wasn't the same
without you
228
00:14:41,772 --> 00:14:44,011
- Really?
- Yeah
229
00:14:44,012 --> 00:14:46,283
I was wondering if we could
go out sometime
230
00:14:46,284 --> 00:14:47,947
- Me and you?
- Dinner?
231
00:14:47,948 --> 00:14:50,369
Maybe Saturday night?
232
00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:55,083
And just when I thought
the night could not get any worse,
233
00:14:55,084 --> 00:14:58,059
he pukes all over my dress
234
00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,243
It was horrible
235
00:14:59,244 --> 00:15:01,771
I'm sure you still
looked beautiful, though
236
00:15:01,772 --> 00:15:03,850
Thanks, but I didn't
237
00:15:03,851 --> 00:15:05,770
I had vomit all over me
238
00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:09,317
You're so amazing
You really are
239
00:15:18,796 --> 00:15:21,514
What? No, that's ridiculous
240
00:15:21,515 --> 00:15:23,626
I'm going to play poker
with some of the guys
241
00:15:23,627 --> 00:15:26,441
Don’t worry
I'll be back by 10:00 All right?
242
00:15:36,075 --> 00:15:37,962
Hello?
243
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,490
Anyone there?
244
00:15:40,491 --> 00:15:43,687
Look, don't be a pussy,
just tell me who it is
245
00:15:44,299 --> 00:15:46,087
Stop calling me!
246
00:15:47,115 --> 00:15:49,416
Another prank call
247
00:15:52,907 --> 00:15:55,337
I know what you're up to,
and it's gotta stop
248
00:15:55,338 --> 00:15:57,354
Leave Carla alone!
249
00:15:57,355 --> 00:15:59,593
It's over between me and you
250
00:15:59,594 --> 00:16:01,416
Get used to it!
251
00:16:06,602 --> 00:16:07,754
Where were you this morning?
252
00:16:07,755 --> 00:16:09,514
I thought you were gonna
watch me practice
253
00:16:09,514 --> 00:16:12,233
Oh Sorry, I forgot
254
00:16:12,234 --> 00:16:14,249
Well, you comin' to my game
on Friday night?
255
00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:16,713
Actually, I'm going to Len's party
with Stacy
256
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,625
You know what? There's someone else
who actually cares about me
257
00:16:19,626 --> 00:16:21,699
Good-bye, Carla
258
00:16:23,786 --> 00:16:26,404
Justin, where are you going?
259
00:16:35,018 --> 00:16:37,537
What?
260
00:16:42,537 --> 00:16:44,610
No!
261
00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:50,823
Why?! Why did you do this!?
262
00:16:51,625 --> 00:16:54,952
Someone call 911!
263
00:17:08,713 --> 00:17:13,349
So what's the kinkiest thing
you've ever done in bed?
264
00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:19,496
The two of us licked whipped cream
off of each other once
265
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:22,760
- That was fun Yeah
- That was pretty kinky
266
00:17:22,761 --> 00:17:24,520
What about you?
267
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,632
I don't know
268
00:17:26,633 --> 00:17:29,128
- Uh
- Come on, don't act all shy
269
00:17:29,129 --> 00:17:31,624
- What if my parents are watching?
- Come on
270
00:17:31,625 --> 00:17:36,360
Does it have to be the kinkiest thing
that we’ve done together?
271
00:17:36,361 --> 00:17:38,088
No, it could have been
on your own
272
00:17:38,089 --> 00:17:39,752
Well
273
00:17:39,753 --> 00:17:41,736
this one time I had sex
with this black guy
274
00:17:41,737 --> 00:17:43,592
while his best friend
did me in the ass,
275
00:17:43,593 --> 00:17:46,120
and then I sucked both their dicks
at the same time
276
00:17:46,121 --> 00:17:49,127
That was kinda kinky
277
00:17:49,128 --> 00:17:51,550
- What? Baby?
That's great
278
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:01,831
MR MATTHEWS
Bring it on in!
279
00:18:01,832 --> 00:18:04,135
We got a lot to do
and a little time to do it!
280
00:18:04,136 --> 00:18:05,927
Wanna make sure we can
cram it all in
281
00:18:05,928 --> 00:18:09,191
That's what she said Ha ha ha!
You guys know what I'm talkin' about
282
00:18:09,192 --> 00:18:11,207
You've gotta sit next to Stacy
and be her partner
283
00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:13,287
Yeah, man, don't be scared
Go ahead
284
00:18:13,288 --> 00:18:15,623
All right,
we're all gettin' in a circle
285
00:18:15,624 --> 00:18:17,255
This is great
286
00:18:17,256 --> 00:18:19,686
Okay
287
00:18:19,687 --> 00:18:22,439
let's talk about penises
288
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,038
That's right, everyone
289
00:18:24,039 --> 00:18:26,343
I said the big P-word
290
00:18:26,344 --> 00:18:30,119
Now, the most common question:
What's normal?
291
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:32,678
Simple answer: There's no such thing
292
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:36,103
Penises come in a variety
of different shapes and sizes
293
00:18:36,104 --> 00:18:38,534
Huh? All rightie!
294
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:43,398
As you can tell from the molds
cast from actual penises we have here
295
00:18:43,399 --> 00:18:46,055
Got 'em all different
from all over the globe
296
00:18:46,056 --> 00:18:50,118
Now, the next
we like to call the Fireplug
297
00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,383
It's short and stocky,
but boy, when you get it excited,
298
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:54,726
kablooey!
299
00:18:54,727 --> 00:18:58,214
Like a sawed-off shotgun, I tell ya
All right, what do we have next?
300
00:18:58,215 --> 00:19:01,158
This one's called the Tadpole
Why is it called the Tadpole?
301
00:19:01,159 --> 00:19:04,774
Because it's got a larger head
tapering down into a smaller shaft
302
00:19:04,775 --> 00:19:08,774
We like to call this guy
the Mushroom Cloud, if you will
303
00:19:08,775 --> 00:19:11,238
Yeah I thought
you'd like that one
304
00:19:11,239 --> 00:19:12,710
Now, this is an interesting one
305
00:19:12,711 --> 00:19:15,110
Looks small, but if you
know how-to use it,
306
00:19:15,111 --> 00:19:16,966
I tell ya, it's quite a powerful weapon
307
00:19:16,967 --> 00:19:20,069
It's called the Torpedo
You know what I mean?
308
00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:21,158
Or the Meat Cone
309
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:24,005
'Cause it's got a tiny head
tapering into a large shaft
310
00:19:24,006 --> 00:19:25,510
Nice
311
00:19:25,511 --> 00:19:27,270
Hand that guy around,
that's a good one
312
00:19:27,271 --> 00:19:29,125
We like to call that one
the Roto-Rooter
313
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:32,965
Next we have what's called
the Super huge
314
00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:34,565
- That's right
- Oh, damn!
315
00:19:34,566 --> 00:19:37,157
We also like to call this
the Great American Challenge
316
00:19:37,158 --> 00:19:41,249
Ladies, you're gonna love
the cervix stimulation on that guy
317
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:47,045
Okay, this next one's interesting,
all right? I found this one online
318
00:19:47,526 --> 00:19:49,541
It's the Doubleheader,
ladies and gentlemen
319
00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:52,613
It is out there, believe me
Hand that around
320
00:19:52,614 --> 00:19:54,277
Okay, everyone, pass 'em around
321
00:19:54,278 --> 00:19:56,357
Look 'em up and down
322
00:19:56,358 --> 00:19:57,893
NOW freeze!
323
00:19:57,894 --> 00:20:01,989
Okay Gentlemen,
the penises in your hands,
324
00:20:01,990 --> 00:20:04,357
that is your penis
325
00:20:05,189 --> 00:20:07,108
Ladies, put your penises down
326
00:20:07,109 --> 00:20:09,629
and partner up with
the person closest to you
327
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,157
Looks like we got a small one, huh?
328
00:20:13,158 --> 00:20:14,586
Yeah
329
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,213
Okay, now I'm gonna hand out
some condoms for each group
330
00:20:18,214 --> 00:20:20,004
Here ya go,
everyone get a condom
331
00:20:20,005 --> 00:20:21,637
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
332
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:25,532
I'm gonna have you put the condom
on the man's penis, together
333
00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:30,116
Okay, the reason I'm having you
put these condoms on together
334
00:20:30,117 --> 00:20:34,491
is because contraception
is both partners' responsibility
335
00:20:34,981 --> 00:20:37,184
Have to say that Sorry
336
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,075
Mike, it looks like you got
a little room there
337
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,273
That's because, Mike,
you have a very small penis
338
00:20:48,005 --> 00:20:51,172
Okay, everyone,
let's talk about fetishes
339
00:20:51,172 --> 00:20:54,884
Now, a fetish is basically
an obsession with leather...
340
00:20:54,885 --> 00:20:57,539
black leather... and bits,
mouth bits
341
00:20:57,540 --> 00:21:00,409
Who likes a ball in their mouth?
Anyone?
342
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,252
Oh, baby, you look so good
343
00:21:05,253 --> 00:21:07,268
- You wanna do it now, baby?
- Hell, yeah, I do
344
00:21:07,269 --> 00:21:09,090
Okay
345
00:21:12,516 --> 00:21:14,883
No, wait
You know what would be even hotter?
346
00:21:14,884 --> 00:21:16,541
What?
347
00:21:19,268 --> 00:21:20,696
This
348
00:21:20,932 --> 00:21:22,851
You want me to wear a hat?
349
00:21:22,852 --> 00:21:25,379
Oh, yeah, baby,
that shit is so hot
350
00:21:25,380 --> 00:21:27,321
- Okay
- Yeah. Yeah.
351
00:21:30,276 --> 00:21:34,301
Wait Uh, you know what else
would be so smokin' hot?
352
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:35,962
What?
353
00:21:37,604 --> 00:21:39,299
This big mole
354
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:41,251
What?! Ew!
355
00:21:41,252 --> 00:21:42,850
It's hot Trust me
356
00:21:42,851 --> 00:21:44,066
For me?
357
00:21:44,067 --> 00:21:45,954
Fine
358
00:21:47,428 --> 00:21:49,882
- Now can we do it?
- Yeah
359
00:22:05,443 --> 00:22:07,074
Ronny... what the hell!?
360
00:22:07,075 --> 00:22:08,611
- What?
- I didn’t want to say this,
361
00:22:08,612 --> 00:22:10,946
but you clearly want to
have sex with Abraham Lincoln!
362
00:22:10,947 --> 00:22:12,833
That's crazy!
363
00:22:13,668 --> 00:22:15,970
Is it?
Look around you, Ronny
364
00:22:15,971 --> 00:22:18,850
- You're obsessed with him
- He was a great man
365
00:22:18,851 --> 00:22:21,567
What's wrong with paying tribute?
366
00:22:22,819 --> 00:22:24,481
Paying tribute is one thing...
367
00:22:24,482 --> 00:22:28,225
trying to turn your girlfriend into him
so you can get a hard-on is another
368
00:22:28,226 --> 00:22:31,837
I'm outta here
Call me when you get some therapy
369
00:22:32,483 --> 00:22:34,424
Sue...
370
00:22:38,242 --> 00:22:40,001
That was my last beard
371
00:22:40,002 --> 00:22:42,081
TV Announcer:
Can the transporter be fixed?
372
00:22:42,082 --> 00:22:44,482
Or is all hopeless for our heroines?
373
00:22:44,483 --> 00:22:46,498
Will Alice and Betty make it home?
374
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:51,009
Find out next on Babes Lost in Time!
375
00:22:51,010 --> 00:22:53,148
Time
376
00:23:35,618 --> 00:23:38,486
Forward into the past!
377
00:23:39,009 --> 00:23:41,343
Here I come, Abe!
378
00:25:43,999 --> 00:25:46,014
Ladies, you do not...
379
00:25:46,015 --> 00:25:49,910
I repeat, you do not have to
have sex with a guy for him to like you
380
00:25:50,751 --> 00:25:52,179
But it helps
381
00:25:52,702 --> 00:25:54,686
Want to remain a virgin
until you're married?
382
00:25:54,687 --> 00:25:57,310
Two words: Butt sex
383
00:25:57,310 --> 00:26:00,733
Look, if you like to be choked,
it's okay Everyone likes it... a little
384
00:26:00,734 --> 00:26:02,653
Just don't go too far
385
00:26:02,654 --> 00:26:05,555
Blue is a warning sign
386
00:26:10,302 --> 00:26:13,597
So, what's the kinkiest thing
either one you has ever done in bed?
387
00:26:16,670 --> 00:26:18,173
- Well, um, check it:
- Whoo!
388
00:26:18,174 --> 00:26:21,342
I'm at the club one night,
and I meet this little white chick, right?
389
00:26:21,343 --> 00:26:23,165
So next you know
I get in her ear, man,
390
00:26:23,166 --> 00:26:24,957
and she lets me take her back
to my spot,
391
00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:27,805
and she did me and him
at the same time
392
00:26:27,806 --> 00:26:29,885
- And then she blew us
You're kidding
393
00:26:29,886 --> 00:26:32,221
Whoo, man!
That girl was off the chain, man!
394
00:26:32,222 --> 00:26:35,069
Hey, you know, uh, shit,
what can I say?
395
00:26:35,070 --> 00:26:37,661
That little woman had a big ol'
twelve-pound pussy, man!
396
00:26:37,662 --> 00:26:39,901
- Where'd she get that?
- There was a lot of acrobatics
397
00:26:39,902 --> 00:26:41,821
in that motherfucker,
you know what I'm sayin?'
398
00:26:41,822 --> 00:26:44,061
She was small, but she did
a lot of big things, baby
399
00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:47,858
- Hey, Kim, holler at your boy!
- Whoo!
400
00:26:48,574 --> 00:26:53,180
The women spend most
of their time stretching their breasts,
401
00:26:53,181 --> 00:26:55,356
- adding a new ring each year.
- Yeah Ooh
402
00:26:55,357 --> 00:26:57,532
They probably like it
when they stretch 'em
403
00:26:57,533 --> 00:26:58,940
Yeah
404
00:26:58,941 --> 00:27:00,566
I know they do
405
00:27:01,277 --> 00:27:02,813
Holy crap!
406
00:27:02,814 --> 00:27:06,140
It's Saturday night and you guys
are getting stiffies watching PBS?
407
00:27:06,141 --> 00:27:08,988
- You're pathetic
- Get out of my room, RJ!
408
00:27:08,989 --> 00:27:10,876
You never knock!
409
00:27:10,877 --> 00:27:12,732
Stupid
410
00:27:12,733 --> 00:27:13,916
He's right, you know
411
00:27:13,917 --> 00:27:16,732
- I mean, this is pathetic
- What else are we gonna do?
412
00:27:16,733 --> 00:27:19,676
It's not like we can actually get laid
Let's just watch this
413
00:27:19,677 --> 00:27:21,596
Unless we come up with a way
414
00:27:21,597 --> 00:27:24,280
to build an artificial woman
from your computer
415
00:27:25,501 --> 00:27:28,184
And then program her
to have sex with us
416
00:27:28,765 --> 00:27:30,076
You're a genius!
417
00:27:30,077 --> 00:27:31,964
This is stupid, Barry
418
00:27:31,965 --> 00:27:33,755
Shut up
419
00:27:33,756 --> 00:27:35,163
Are you sure you know
what you're doing?
420
00:27:35,164 --> 00:27:37,212
Relax! We're gonna give her
Halle Berry's face,
421
00:27:37,213 --> 00:27:39,003
- and Beyonce's ass
- All right
422
00:27:39,004 --> 00:27:40,827
- Tyra's boobs
- Bam!
423
00:27:40,828 --> 00:27:42,172
Tyra's probably got bigger
nipples than that
424
00:27:42,173 --> 00:27:44,475
Now all that's left to do is
make sure she's horny
425
00:27:44,476 --> 00:27:46,587
Like really, really horny, though
426
00:27:46,588 --> 00:27:48,155
See this pair of panties, right?
427
00:27:48,156 --> 00:27:49,627
Where'd you get those from?
They're lacy
428
00:27:49,628 --> 00:27:51,291
All right Are you ready
to lose your virginity?
429
00:27:51,292 --> 00:27:53,528
- I'm ready
- Say good-bye
430
00:27:59,804 --> 00:28:02,043
Ow! I told you
that was stupid, Barry
431
00:28:02,044 --> 00:28:04,279
Be quiet, Leon I'm thinking
432
00:28:09,084 --> 00:28:10,578
Oh, shit!
433
00:28:11,260 --> 00:28:14,491
So, who gonna fuck me first!?
434
00:28:14,492 --> 00:28:16,635
Him! Him!
435
00:28:16,636 --> 00:28:18,139
What the hell just happened!?
436
00:28:18,140 --> 00:28:21,563
The panties, they was my aunt's
I knew it It was my aunt's panties
437
00:28:21,564 --> 00:28:24,795
What you waitin' for? My pussy
ain't gonna eat itself out
438
00:28:24,796 --> 00:28:26,298
What? What you say?
439
00:28:26,299 --> 00:28:27,962
Who would say that?
440
00:28:27,963 --> 00:28:29,274
Where you goin?'
Where you goin?'
441
00:28:29,275 --> 00:28:31,131
Leon!
442
00:28:31,132 --> 00:28:32,347
Leon!
443
00:28:32,348 --> 00:28:33,434
Well
444
00:28:33,435 --> 00:28:35,675
I guess that means you first
445
00:28:35,676 --> 00:28:37,051
No It don't... it don't have to mean that
446
00:28:37,052 --> 00:28:39,962
Come give mama
a taste of that sweet chocolate
447
00:28:39,963 --> 00:28:41,754
What you talkin' about?
Chocolate ain't sweet!
448
00:28:41,755 --> 00:28:45,583
I'm your human sex toy,
and I don't come with no Off button!
449
00:28:47,227 --> 00:28:50,521
You don't even have to wear
no jimmy hat!
450
00:28:55,131 --> 00:28:58,840
Save your energy!
I plan on Cumming a lot tonight!
451
00:29:11,259 --> 00:29:14,968
Come out, come out,
wherever you are!
452
00:29:22,875 --> 00:29:24,634
You're too big for me!
453
00:29:24,635 --> 00:29:28,282
Your ball sack is about to get drained!
454
00:29:28,283 --> 00:29:32,079
Let me go! Please, Jesus!
455
00:29:34,747 --> 00:29:36,503
You were good.
456
00:29:37,114 --> 00:29:40,049
I don’t want no more
I don't... I don’t want no more
457
00:29:40,698 --> 00:29:42,519
No! I don’t want it!
458
00:29:42,842 --> 00:29:45,143
You broke my bed
459
00:29:53,530 --> 00:29:56,249
She's so big. Why is she so big?
460
00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:59,929
I musta... I probably hit F1
instead of Enter I don't know
461
00:29:59,930 --> 00:30:02,392
Here I come!
462
00:30:02,393 --> 00:30:06,840
And this time your ass cherry
is mine!
463
00:30:06,841 --> 00:30:09,176
No, it's not! No, it's not!
464
00:30:09,177 --> 00:30:12,973
It's my ass cherry! It's not yours!
465
00:30:15,514 --> 00:30:17,903
Barry? Leon?
466
00:30:23,450 --> 00:30:25,555
"Press Enter now?"
467
00:30:31,929 --> 00:30:33,209
Yeah
468
00:30:33,210 --> 00:30:35,320
You're lookin' good, baby
469
00:30:35,321 --> 00:30:36,848
Whoa!
470
00:30:37,465 --> 00:30:40,344
You're cute How old are you?
471
00:30:40,345 --> 00:30:42,424
Old enough
472
00:30:42,425 --> 00:30:45,173
Ooh-whoo!
Yeah, yeah
473
00:30:46,009 --> 00:30:47,765
Here we go
474
00:30:50,201 --> 00:30:53,816
I know you're probably too young
to be thinking about marriage,
475
00:30:53,817 --> 00:30:55,160
but take it from me,
476
00:30:55,161 --> 00:30:59,543
if you find somebody that you want
to spend the rest of your life with,
477
00:30:59,544 --> 00:31:01,453
there's nothing better
478
00:31:01,657 --> 00:31:03,352
Thanks, sweetie
479
00:31:03,353 --> 00:31:06,103
But before you get married,
480
00:31:06,104 --> 00:31:09,016
make sure you explore
all your options, guys,
481
00:31:09,017 --> 00:31:11,918
and bone as many chicks
as you can
482
00:31:12,536 --> 00:31:17,751
Well, ladies, be sure you take
the long way through Dick-town, too
483
00:31:17,752 --> 00:31:19,896
I banged at least fifty guys
484
00:31:19,897 --> 00:31:23,410
before I met this asshole
sitting next to me here
485
00:31:23,928 --> 00:31:25,207
And a group of girls, too
486
00:31:25,208 --> 00:31:30,103
It was no accident that I invited
the electrician and the plumber
487
00:31:30,104 --> 00:31:31,287
on the same day
488
00:31:31,288 --> 00:31:34,295
- Ohh
- Whoo-whoo! Real hot!
489
00:31:34,296 --> 00:31:36,599
Guys, listen up
490
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,679
If you're planning on having
a threesome,
491
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,367
you better to do it
before you get married
492
00:31:41,368 --> 00:31:45,751
But trust me,
there's no better sensation
493
00:31:45,752 --> 00:31:49,814
than two women making out
while riding your Johnson
494
00:31:49,815 --> 00:31:51,095
I almost forgot
495
00:31:51,096 --> 00:31:52,950
Book yourself a ticket to...
496
00:31:52,951 --> 00:31:56,119
Try sleeping with
your fiancé's best man
497
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:57,431
and his brother
498
00:31:57,432 --> 00:31:59,670
at the wedding reception
499
00:31:59,671 --> 00:32:01,809
Very hot
500
00:32:38,262 --> 00:32:40,782
Great
501
00:33:01,142 --> 00:33:03,182
Ohh
502
00:33:03,286 --> 00:33:04,373
Ohh
503
00:33:04,374 --> 00:33:07,090
Ooh, that's nice
504
00:33:09,046 --> 00:33:12,176
Oh, why didn't I think of this before?
505
00:33:17,014 --> 00:33:19,185
Oh, shit
506
00:33:22,134 --> 00:33:24,020
Ohh! Ohh!
507
00:33:25,622 --> 00:33:27,892
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
508
00:33:27,893 --> 00:33:29,748
Honey, dinner's ready
509
00:33:29,749 --> 00:33:32,373
Oh, my God
Oh, my God
510
00:33:32,374 --> 00:33:33,999
Oh, this is bad
511
00:33:36,949 --> 00:33:38,837
Can you pass the mashed potatoes,
please?
512
00:33:38,838 --> 00:33:41,521
- Certainly
- Thank you
513
00:33:43,126 --> 00:33:46,223
Mm Everything
is delicious, dear
514
00:33:52,085 --> 00:33:54,868
Did you pick up
your condoms for the prom?
515
00:33:54,869 --> 00:33:57,460
Yeah, they gave them out
for free at school today
516
00:33:57,461 --> 00:34:00,461
They did?
Yeah Thanks, though
517
00:34:09,012 --> 00:34:11,347
Honey, is your vagina ringing?
518
00:34:11,477 --> 00:34:15,404
Dad! That's ridiculous
519
00:34:18,933 --> 00:34:21,267
Sounded like it
520
00:34:23,253 --> 00:34:27,115
Okay, I think we've learned a lot here
Class dismissed
521
00:34:28,020 --> 00:34:29,619
I'll see ya all tomorrow
522
00:34:29,620 --> 00:34:31,507
Now, remember your permission slips
for the field trip
523
00:34:31,508 --> 00:34:34,579
Now, these permission slips
are no joke, people, okay?
524
00:34:34,580 --> 00:34:36,180
Now if you can't find your parents,
525
00:34:36,181 --> 00:34:38,416
they're in their bedroom, doing it
526
00:34:41,908 --> 00:34:44,689
- He'd probably use the toys
- Totally
527
00:34:45,172 --> 00:34:47,091
Hey, Stacey Jess
528
00:34:47,092 --> 00:34:48,914
- Hey
- Hi
529
00:35:03,156 --> 00:35:05,554
Uh, so listen, Stacey, um...
530
00:35:05,555 --> 00:35:07,922
Mike,
can I talk to you for a second?
531
00:35:11,155 --> 00:35:13,043
- Later?
- Yes
532
00:35:13,043 --> 00:35:14,897
- Awesome
- Okay
533
00:35:21,779 --> 00:35:23,250
So, Mike,
534
00:35:23,251 --> 00:35:25,902
how are things going
with you and Stacy?
535
00:35:26,227 --> 00:35:28,019
Oh, uh, great
536
00:35:28,020 --> 00:35:30,195
You know, we're really good friends
We...
537
00:35:30,196 --> 00:35:33,427
Hey, hey!
Don't bullshit a bull-shitter, bro
538
00:35:33,427 --> 00:35:37,649
I know you're into Stacy
You wanna rap about it?
539
00:35:39,603 --> 00:35:41,618
Yeah, I mean, I don't know
I like Stacy
540
00:35:41,618 --> 00:35:43,537
- Hmm Hmm
- A lot
541
00:35:43,538 --> 00:35:46,802
What do I do?
How do I tell her how I feel?
542
00:35:46,803 --> 00:35:48,337
That's a good question
543
00:35:48,338 --> 00:35:49,586
You don't
544
00:35:49,587 --> 00:35:51,442
I don't?
545
00:35:51,443 --> 00:35:54,097
No, you don't
546
00:35:54,098 --> 00:35:58,642
You see, Mike, a girl like Stacy
is, ooh, way out of your league
547
00:35:58,643 --> 00:36:00,781
Way
548
00:36:01,363 --> 00:36:02,705
What? What do you mean?
549
00:36:02,706 --> 00:36:04,625
I thought you were
all about breaking the rules
550
00:36:04,626 --> 00:36:07,345
and there are no rules
and we're all equal
551
00:36:07,346 --> 00:36:10,450
I am Just not when it comes
to you and Stacy
552
00:36:10,451 --> 00:36:14,737
You see, Mike, a girl like Stacy,
to get her,
553
00:36:14,738 --> 00:36:18,194
boy, you'd need like a truckload
of cough syrup
554
00:36:18,195 --> 00:36:20,497
and a vat of malt liquor
555
00:36:20,498 --> 00:36:22,705
Really mellow her out,
you know what I mean?
556
00:36:22,706 --> 00:36:26,513
But not knock her out
That's a whole different class altogether
557
00:36:26,514 --> 00:36:28,017
- What?
- Mike
558
00:36:28,018 --> 00:36:30,193
you need to go after
something more attainable
559
00:36:30,194 --> 00:36:34,065
You need to find somebody
who's a lot less
560
00:36:34,065 --> 00:36:35,633
pretty-err
561
00:36:35,633 --> 00:36:38,417
You might have to go up
a few weight classes...
562
00:36:38,418 --> 00:36:40,849
a little more than
you're comfortable with, probably...
563
00:36:40,850 --> 00:36:43,377
buck-fifty, two bills... I'm not sure
564
00:36:43,378 --> 00:36:46,417
Somebody who hasn't seen
the light of day in quite a long time
565
00:36:46,418 --> 00:36:49,488
Acne scars, fangs for teeth,
bad hygiene,
566
00:36:49,489 --> 00:36:52,145
- retarded, if you will
- What!?
567
00:36:52,146 --> 00:36:56,112
Hey, sometimes keepin' it real hurts,
little bro
568
00:36:56,113 --> 00:36:59,600
But in the end,
we're all stronger people
569
00:36:59,601 --> 00:37:02,320
Now go out there
and get an ugly chick
570
00:37:02,321 --> 00:37:04,912
Or a whore
Good luck
571
00:37:04,913 --> 00:37:06,473
Good talk
572
00:37:08,785 --> 00:37:11,883
Now, a quick word from our sponsor.
573
00:37:13,489 --> 00:37:16,944
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574
00:37:16,945 --> 00:37:20,016
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575
00:37:20,017 --> 00:37:23,568
Boners sprouting up
at the most inopportune times?
576
00:37:23,569 --> 00:37:27,376
Well, that's why we've invented
Flaccitra.
577
00:37:27,377 --> 00:37:30,224
Flaccitra cuts off blood to your penis,
578
00:37:30,225 --> 00:37:33,072
causing it to shrink
like a frightened turtle.
579
00:37:33,073 --> 00:37:36,208
So, for you teenagers
suffering from SBS...
580
00:37:36,209 --> 00:37:38,256
Sudden Boner Syndrome...
581
00:37:38,257 --> 00:37:39,792
try Flaccitra today.
582
00:37:39,793 --> 00:37:43,056
Flaccitra may cause infertility,
mood swings, loss of appetite,
583
00:37:43,057 --> 00:37:44,880
headaches, butt acne, penis leprosy,
584
00:37:44,881 --> 00:37:46,639
scarlet fever, bloody ejaculations,
585
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,207
and for a complete list
of side effects
586
00:37:48,208 --> 00:37:49,775
go to Flaccitra. Com.
587
00:37:49,776 --> 00:37:51,279
Come on, guys
588
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,702
Flaccitra.
589
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,101
Mmm, this is nice, baby
590
00:38:12,335 --> 00:38:15,535
Lindsey, relax Everybody farts
591
00:38:15,536 --> 00:38:17,071
This is huge.
592
00:38:17,072 --> 00:38:19,183
We've crossed the Fart Barrier
593
00:38:19,184 --> 00:38:20,943
Really?
594
00:38:20,944 --> 00:38:23,023
Ahh
595
00:38:23,024 --> 00:38:25,870
See? It's nothin!'
596
00:38:33,263 --> 00:38:35,881
I do feel comfortable with you
597
00:39:31,087 --> 00:39:32,845
Damn!
598
00:39:32,846 --> 00:39:35,148
Now, that's just nasty.
599
00:39:45,518 --> 00:39:47,981
Oh, my God! Oh, yes!
600
00:39:47,982 --> 00:39:51,277
Hey, man, she was riding you
like a pogo stick! Up and down!
601
00:39:51,278 --> 00:39:53,325
Hold on, hold on
It gets better
602
00:39:53,326 --> 00:39:55,725
- Wait for it
- I'm gonna cum!
603
00:39:55,726 --> 00:39:58,861
Now
604
00:39:58,862 --> 00:40:00,460
Oh, my God!
605
00:40:00,461 --> 00:40:02,028
Whoo
606
00:40:02,029 --> 00:40:04,365
Let me introduce you
to The Screamer
607
00:40:04,366 --> 00:40:06,509
Griffin, this chick is amazing
608
00:40:06,510 --> 00:40:07,725
Which is why I invited her
over here today
609
00:40:07,726 --> 00:40:09,100
Yes, sir
610
00:40:09,101 --> 00:40:11,149
And we're gonna be right here
to make sure you go through with it
611
00:40:11,150 --> 00:40:13,677
Got your little sister's baby monitor
hooked up in your room
612
00:40:13,678 --> 00:40:16,205
And we're gonna have the other end
right here so we can listen in
613
00:40:16,206 --> 00:40:18,029
No Not happening, guys
614
00:40:18,030 --> 00:40:19,052
- Not happening?
- No
615
00:40:19,053 --> 00:40:20,844
- Yes Yes
- No No
616
00:40:20,845 --> 00:40:22,412
Well, that's what you think
617
00:40:22,413 --> 00:40:24,620
- Oh Too late
- Oh, I love it!
618
00:40:24,621 --> 00:40:26,049
Go ahead
619
00:40:29,229 --> 00:40:32,076
- Hi, I'm... I'm Mike
- Where's your room?
620
00:40:33,997 --> 00:40:35,500
Oh, my God
621
00:40:35,501 --> 00:40:38,380
Oh, shit
622
00:40:38,381 --> 00:40:40,236
Oh, my God
623
00:40:40,237 --> 00:40:41,927
I can't believe this
624
00:40:43,277 --> 00:40:44,908
Come here
625
00:40:44,909 --> 00:40:46,501
Oh, shit
626
00:40:47,693 --> 00:40:51,020
Whoa, you're taking your shirt off
immediately like that,
627
00:40:51,021 --> 00:40:52,972
it's kinda tough for me to say no.
628
00:40:52,973 --> 00:40:55,468
You hear that, man?
The shirt just came off!
629
00:40:55,469 --> 00:40:57,900
- It's on!
- Oh, it is on, all right
630
00:40:57,901 --> 00:40:59,755
Put it in me
631
00:41:01,325 --> 00:41:04,554
Why... why don't I just grab
some ear plugs real quick?
632
00:41:05,421 --> 00:41:08,044
Oh, my God,
what should I do?
633
00:41:08,045 --> 00:41:10,499
Oh, hell no, man, is it broke?
634
00:41:13,740 --> 00:41:16,227
What are you waiting for?
635
00:41:16,556 --> 00:41:18,156
I'm sorry I...
636
00:41:18,157 --> 00:41:19,724
I can't do this
637
00:41:19,725 --> 00:41:21,067
What?
638
00:41:21,068 --> 00:41:24,299
There's this girl in my high school,
and I... I really like her
639
00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:26,539
Great I didn't have a back-up plan
640
00:41:26,540 --> 00:41:30,411
Now I've gotta go fuck a trucker
or a cab driver or
641
00:41:30,412 --> 00:41:32,168
a homeless guy
642
00:41:32,556 --> 00:41:35,947
Do you possibly think that maybe
you could go through the back door?
643
00:41:35,948 --> 00:41:38,955
Just so you know
you're givin' up a sure thing
644
00:41:38,956 --> 00:41:41,890
Your friend said that
you were desperate for it
645
00:41:43,404 --> 00:41:45,574
Last chance
646
00:41:50,604 --> 00:41:53,771
Man, all the settin' up we did,
he better not be pussin' out
647
00:41:53,772 --> 00:41:55,243
He's definitely pussing out
648
00:41:55,244 --> 00:41:57,611
Let's go see what's going on
with the dumb-ass
649
00:41:57,612 --> 00:41:59,243
You like that, don't you?
650
00:41:59,244 --> 00:42:01,867
Ha ha! We back in action!
Oh, Mike!
651
00:42:01,868 --> 00:42:04,769
Yeah, Mike!
Whoo-hoo!
652
00:42:05,579 --> 00:42:07,594
Man, you hear that?
653
00:42:07,595 --> 00:42:10,246
Yeah!
654
00:42:11,051 --> 00:42:12,458
Ride it! Ride it!
655
00:42:12,459 --> 00:42:15,659
My boy's goin' strong to the hole,
I'm tellin' ya!
656
00:42:15,659 --> 00:42:18,058
- She's going nuts!
- She wasn't that crazy with me
657
00:42:18,059 --> 00:42:21,418
Ahem
658
00:42:21,419 --> 00:42:23,971
Hi Have you guys
seen my purse?
659
00:42:32,107 --> 00:42:35,146
Oh, Mike! You're so big!
660
00:42:35,147 --> 00:42:39,204
Ahh! Ahh! Oh, Mike,
I've never been fucked so good!
661
00:42:42,027 --> 00:42:44,650
Cover your ears! I'm about to cum!
662
00:42:44,651 --> 00:42:46,410
I'm Cumming! I'm Cumming!
663
00:42:46,411 --> 00:42:48,681
Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!
664
00:42:48,682 --> 00:42:51,401
Oh! Oh! You're such a beast!
665
00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:52,490
I'm your big daddy
666
00:42:52,491 --> 00:42:54,377
Mike, I'm... cover your ears!
667
00:42:55,306 --> 00:42:58,121
Shh! Shh! Oh! Oh!
668
00:42:58,122 --> 00:42:59,466
All right, home stretch
669
00:42:59,467 --> 00:43:02,537
Oh, like that! Oh, like that!
Oh, like that!
670
00:43:02,538 --> 00:43:05,920
Oh, my God, oh, my God
671
00:43:06,186 --> 00:43:09,673
I'm in love, Mike
I love you
672
00:43:09,674 --> 00:43:11,465
I love you, Mike
673
00:43:11,466 --> 00:43:15,688
Let them know you worked it,
dust it off and jerk it
674
00:43:15,689 --> 00:43:19,714
So was it as good for you guys
as it was for me?
675
00:43:21,738 --> 00:43:23,976
You know, I would tell you
to go fuck yourself,
676
00:43:23,977 --> 00:43:26,245
but it sounds like you just did
677
00:43:29,641 --> 00:43:32,105
Now, Suzy,
I don't know how to tell you this,
678
00:43:32,106 --> 00:43:33,961
so I'm just gonna come right out and say it.
679
00:43:33,962 --> 00:43:35,208
Say it.
680
00:43:35,209 --> 00:43:38,184
I've been
sleeping with your mom.
681
00:43:38,185 --> 00:43:40,520
- Hank, come on
- What?
682
00:43:40,521 --> 00:43:43,017
You know I made
an abstinence pledge
683
00:43:43,018 --> 00:43:44,777
I promised myself I'd wait
until I was sure
684
00:43:44,778 --> 00:43:46,751
it was with the right guy
685
00:43:47,145 --> 00:43:49,129
I thought I was the right guy
686
00:43:49,130 --> 00:43:50,697
You might be
687
00:43:50,698 --> 00:43:53,032
I'm just not sure yet
688
00:43:53,033 --> 00:43:55,400
But I like you a lot
689
00:44:06,025 --> 00:44:08,328
Hi, sexually frustrated teenager!
690
00:44:08,329 --> 00:44:09,960
I'm Blue Bally!
691
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,360
And if you and your girlfriend
don't have sex soon,
692
00:44:12,361 --> 00:44:14,984
you're gonna wind up with
a serious case of blue-balls!
693
00:44:14,985 --> 00:44:18,726
That's right!
Your nuts are gonna turn blue
694
00:44:19,177 --> 00:44:22,623
Aw, don't be afraid
I'm here to help
695
00:44:22,921 --> 00:44:26,087
You've been stiff as a board
for the last two hours
696
00:44:26,088 --> 00:44:28,295
That means you're reaching
a critical moment
697
00:44:28,296 --> 00:44:31,079
where that good tingly feeling
down there
698
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:35,783
can quickly turn into
an achy not-so-good feeling!
699
00:44:35,784 --> 00:44:37,605
Wh... what do you mean?
700
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:41,127
See, Hank, right now
your testicles are filled with semen,
701
00:44:41,128 --> 00:44:42,983
and only a little bit's dripping out
702
00:44:42,984 --> 00:44:44,519
That's called pre-cum
703
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:47,399
What you want to do is ejaculate
704
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:50,695
Otherwise, that back up of jizz
will cause pressure in your nut sack
705
00:44:50,696 --> 00:44:52,807
to the point of making you nauseous
706
00:44:52,808 --> 00:44:58,406
In fact, your genitals can increase
in size 25 to 50% That's huge!
707
00:44:58,407 --> 00:45:01,319
- So, what do I do?
- From where I'm sittin,'
708
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:03,462
even if your girlfriend
won't have intercourse with you,
709
00:45:03,463 --> 00:45:06,812
the least you should be able to do
is to score a hand job
710
00:45:08,615 --> 00:45:10,436
Judy?
711
00:45:10,632 --> 00:45:14,374
L... I want you to know that
I really do care about you
712
00:45:14,375 --> 00:45:18,335
And I've known that since the first time
I saw you in Bible Study class
713
00:45:19,143 --> 00:45:20,833
Uh-huh
714
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:23,396
uh-huh
715
00:45:23,687 --> 00:45:25,923
uh-huh
716
00:45:27,431 --> 00:45:30,822
- Uh-oh That's not good
- What do you mean?
717
00:45:30,823 --> 00:45:33,606
With that kind of arousal,
it's only a matter of seconds
718
00:45:33,607 --> 00:45:37,062
before full-on irreversible
blue balls!
719
00:45:37,063 --> 00:45:39,942
You better go to the bathroom
and jerk off, right now
720
00:45:39,943 --> 00:45:41,126
- Here?
- Yes! Go!
721
00:45:41,127 --> 00:45:42,470
There's no time to waste!
722
00:45:42,471 --> 00:45:45,121
Go! Get going!
It's a medical emergency!
723
00:45:50,439 --> 00:45:53,062
Oh, yeah, you won't
see this on children's television!
724
00:45:53,063 --> 00:45:54,917
Blue Bally!
725
00:45:55,367 --> 00:45:58,334
Hope you like sloppy seconds!
Hah!
726
00:45:59,591 --> 00:46:03,300
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
727
00:46:04,006 --> 00:46:06,246
Man, I'm never gonna get laid
I'm such a loser
728
00:46:06,247 --> 00:46:09,030
No, you're not
I met a girl in a chat room
729
00:46:09,031 --> 00:46:10,502
- Did you?
- Yeah
730
00:46:10,503 --> 00:46:12,518
I met in her in Teen lonely boys
731
00:46:12,519 --> 00:46:15,046
'Cause I figure I'm a teen
and I'm lonely
732
00:46:15,047 --> 00:46:17,605
Anyways, it's crazy,
733
00:46:17,606 --> 00:46:19,653
there's not a lot of girls
in that chat room
734
00:46:19,654 --> 00:46:22,309
It's mostly older guys
interested in photography
735
00:46:22,310 --> 00:46:24,037
That's kind of creepy
736
00:46:24,038 --> 00:46:26,181
It is at first, but, you know,
737
00:46:26,182 --> 00:46:28,709
once I made it clear
that I was a teen boy
738
00:46:28,710 --> 00:46:30,245
in the market for a teen girl,
739
00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:32,389
ladies were just
coming out of the woodwork
740
00:46:32,390 --> 00:46:34,853
And now I have a girlfriend
Her name is Randy
741
00:46:34,854 --> 00:46:36,517
Isn't that a guy's name?
742
00:46:36,518 --> 00:46:38,341
It's both I...
743
00:46:38,342 --> 00:46:40,581
I mean, she says
she gets that all the time
744
00:46:40,582 --> 00:46:45,349
- She send you a picture?
- No Uh... but I sent her tons of mine
745
00:46:45,350 --> 00:46:48,317
Most of them are naked
It's awesome
746
00:46:48,869 --> 00:46:50,628
Well, maybe I'll give it a try
747
00:46:50,629 --> 00:46:54,338
And maybe if you're lucky someday,
you'll have a Randy, just like me
748
00:47:04,677 --> 00:47:06,404
"Sweeety Pi"
749
00:47:06,405 --> 00:47:08,292
Accept
750
00:47:09,893 --> 00:47:12,063
Hi.
751
00:47:13,221 --> 00:47:14,846
Hi.
752
00:47:15,813 --> 00:47:17,241
Sex chat?
753
00:47:18,693 --> 00:47:20,644
Sure.
754
00:47:20,645 --> 00:47:24,484
Okay. I'm dressed in a tight mini-dress
walking down a dark alley.
755
00:47:24,485 --> 00:47:26,916
I'm completely alone and vulnerable.
756
00:47:26,917 --> 00:47:28,900
Then you appear out of the shadows.
757
00:47:28,901 --> 00:47:32,228
You wear all black,
with a ski mask over your head.
758
00:47:32,229 --> 00:47:35,196
You approach me menacingly
and say?...
759
00:47:37,220 --> 00:47:39,839
Hey, what's up.
760
00:47:42,020 --> 00:47:43,140
Was that wrong?
761
00:47:43,140 --> 00:47:44,547
Menacing.
762
00:47:44,548 --> 00:47:46,436
Okay
763
00:47:46,437 --> 00:47:48,516
What are you doing in my alley?
764
00:47:48,517 --> 00:47:50,628
Oh, no. You stay away from me.
765
00:47:50,629 --> 00:47:54,116
I'm lost, alone, and half-naked.
766
00:47:54,116 --> 00:47:57,531
But I have Mace.
Don't try and take advantage of me.
767
00:47:58,084 --> 00:48:01,635
Okay, sorry, no problem.
Do you need cab money?
768
00:48:01,636 --> 00:48:04,669
Be aggressive. I want it.
769
00:48:05,924 --> 00:48:08,611
Oh Weird
770
00:48:08,612 --> 00:48:12,451
I'm afraid I don't care about Mace.
Prepare to be attacked.
771
00:48:12,452 --> 00:48:14,557
Sexually.
772
00:48:15,203 --> 00:48:18,883
That was amazing.
We should meet.
773
00:48:18,884 --> 00:48:20,995
Come to 429 Covington Avenue,
apartment 8,
774
00:48:20,996 --> 00:48:22,851
tomorrow night at 10:00.
775
00:48:22,852 --> 00:48:25,091
Wear a mask.
Take me against my will.
776
00:48:25,092 --> 00:48:27,906
Don't break character.
777
00:48:33,155 --> 00:48:35,266
- Oh, hello, dear
- Oh, hey, Jane
778
00:48:35,267 --> 00:48:37,059
Doing anything special tonight?
779
00:48:37,060 --> 00:48:40,482
Nope, just baking cookies
for my niece
780
00:48:40,483 --> 00:48:43,035
Oh
781
00:49:12,291 --> 00:49:14,494
Just a second!
782
00:49:18,179 --> 00:49:20,087
Did somebody order the rape?
783
00:49:20,227 --> 00:49:21,730
Aaaah!
784
00:49:21,731 --> 00:49:23,519
Whoo! Oooh!
785
00:49:23,778 --> 00:49:25,281
So far so good
786
00:49:25,282 --> 00:49:27,330
Uh, you can run but you can't hide
787
00:49:27,331 --> 00:49:29,985
from forced sexual intercourse,
788
00:49:29,986 --> 00:49:32,288
you know what I mean ma'am?
789
00:49:33,282 --> 00:49:34,753
Get out!
790
00:49:34,754 --> 00:49:37,761
God, be careful!
You're gonna hurt me!
791
00:49:37,762 --> 00:49:41,601
I mean, you won't be so feisty
when I'm violating you
792
00:49:41,602 --> 00:49:43,096
Sexually
793
00:49:49,282 --> 00:49:51,965
I'm bleeding!
794
00:49:52,834 --> 00:49:54,458
That won’t stop me!
795
00:50:01,570 --> 00:50:02,976
No, you don't
796
00:50:02,977 --> 00:50:04,449
Oh
797
00:50:04,449 --> 00:50:05,633
I'm sorry, I'll pay for this
798
00:50:05,634 --> 00:50:07,297
You stay back I'm warning you!
799
00:50:07,298 --> 00:50:09,825
Uh, I'm scared, yeah, yeah
I'm scared and...
800
00:50:09,826 --> 00:50:11,898
Oh, my God!
801
00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:20,889
What is it?! What is it!?
802
00:50:23,137 --> 00:50:25,536
Oh, God!
Oh, it's burning!
803
00:50:25,537 --> 00:50:27,577
Aaaah!
804
00:50:31,649 --> 00:50:33,820
Did somebody order the rape?
805
00:50:44,353 --> 00:50:45,504
Fred
806
00:50:45,505 --> 00:50:46,720
Oh Hey, Betty
807
00:50:46,721 --> 00:50:47,872
- Hey
- How's it goin?'
808
00:50:47,873 --> 00:50:48,992
What's wrong?
809
00:50:48,993 --> 00:50:51,168
Oh, it's just been kind of
a crazy week
810
00:50:51,169 --> 00:50:53,088
It's a long story, though
811
00:50:53,089 --> 00:50:55,071
You know, Fred,
I've been thinking
812
00:50:55,072 --> 00:50:56,991
we've been friends
for a really long time
813
00:50:56,992 --> 00:50:58,748
Yeah Yeah, we have
814
00:50:59,041 --> 00:51:01,087
Maybe it's time we take things
to the next level
815
00:51:01,088 --> 00:51:03,356
Next level?
816
00:51:04,001 --> 00:51:05,625
Wow
817
00:51:10,688 --> 00:51:12,694
Next level!
818
00:51:13,312 --> 00:51:15,264
Hey, baby, this is for you.
819
00:51:15,265 --> 00:51:17,888
I love you.
You're the only one for me.
820
00:51:17,888 --> 00:51:19,895
I hope you enjoy.
821
00:51:37,664 --> 00:51:40,063
Kat, can I borrow
a squirt of your herpes cream?
822
00:51:40,064 --> 00:51:43,096
Uh, yeah, sure.
I'll bring it over in a minute.
823
00:51:51,136 --> 00:51:52,990
Ohh! Ow!
824
00:52:06,752 --> 00:52:08,889
I'm not in Leave a message
825
00:52:09,536 --> 00:52:11,455
Hey, girl, it's Billy Sharpe
from the basketball team
826
00:52:11,456 --> 00:52:15,612
Thanks for rockin' my world
Talk about takin' it to the hole... damn!
827
00:52:16,671 --> 00:52:18,557
Sorry about that.
828
00:52:22,559 --> 00:52:24,862
Oh, shoot! Aaaah!
829
00:52:24,863 --> 00:52:26,717
Nice titties!
830
00:52:34,431 --> 00:52:36,477
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
831
00:52:36,478 --> 00:52:38,234
Put the south in your mouth,
pretty baby
832
00:52:43,679 --> 00:52:48,860
Put the south in your mouth,
pretty baby
833
00:52:51,519 --> 00:52:56,188
Let me slop my biscuit
in your gravy
834
00:53:01,471 --> 00:53:02,717
I'm gonna do it
835
00:53:02,718 --> 00:53:04,477
I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it,
I'm gonna do it
836
00:53:04,478 --> 00:53:07,292
I'm there I'm there
I'm there I'm there
837
00:53:14,717 --> 00:53:19,197
Put the south in your mouth,
pretty baby
838
00:53:19,198 --> 00:53:21,204
I wanna kiss your mouth
839
00:53:22,430 --> 00:53:25,436
Mm, tastes like blueberry
840
00:53:25,437 --> 00:53:28,957
So good...
841
00:53:28,958 --> 00:53:31,996
Oh, God
842
00:53:31,997 --> 00:53:33,851
Mmm
843
00:53:38,558 --> 00:53:40,728
Hi
844
00:53:42,238 --> 00:53:43,862
Hi
845
00:53:47,198 --> 00:53:49,619
You look like
you just saw a ghost
846
00:53:50,653 --> 00:53:52,409
Um
847
00:53:53,566 --> 00:53:56,565
I had a... a really bad dream
848
00:53:57,629 --> 00:53:59,229
Oh, sweetie
849
00:53:59,230 --> 00:54:01,276
It's okay
850
00:54:01,277 --> 00:54:03,033
Come here
851
00:54:08,957 --> 00:54:12,055
I had an amazing time last night
852
00:54:13,245 --> 00:54:16,124
Oh l'm sorry
853
00:54:16,125 --> 00:54:17,596
Do you have a toilet?
854
00:54:17,597 --> 00:54:19,899
Oh Yeah, it's right over there
855
00:54:19,900 --> 00:54:21,590
Ohh
856
00:54:26,589 --> 00:54:29,970
Mmm long night
857
00:54:32,348 --> 00:54:35,249
- Hello
- Aaah!
858
00:54:35,516 --> 00:54:37,719
Who the hell are you?
859
00:54:38,044 --> 00:54:40,508
Why don't you ask your dick?
860
00:54:40,509 --> 00:54:42,011
What is going on here?
861
00:54:42,012 --> 00:54:44,603
- Relax, Len
- How do you know my name?
862
00:54:44,604 --> 00:54:47,324
Uh, I usually like to know
the name of the guy
863
00:54:47,324 --> 00:54:49,211
who's fucking my mouth
864
00:54:49,212 --> 00:54:50,651
Nobody fucked anybody's mouth
last night!
865
00:54:50,652 --> 00:54:53,275
Fine Nobody fucked
my mouth last night
866
00:54:53,276 --> 00:54:54,651
And I guess
867
00:54:54,652 --> 00:54:59,227
nobody was three knuckles deep
in my sphincter, either
868
00:54:59,228 --> 00:55:01,403
Jesus Christ, what were you doing,
869
00:55:01,404 --> 00:55:03,547
reaching for, like, a winning
lottery ticket or something?
870
00:55:03,548 --> 00:55:06,515
I could feel you in
my small intestines
871
00:55:08,444 --> 00:55:10,330
Oh, look what the cat
dragged in
872
00:55:10,331 --> 00:55:13,210
- Do you have any matches?
- Such diarrhea Ugh
873
00:55:13,211 --> 00:55:15,163
I'll air that out All right?
874
00:55:15,164 --> 00:55:18,395
What I need right now
is for you to leave my house
875
00:55:18,396 --> 00:55:19,738
My parents are coming home
this afternoon
876
00:55:19,739 --> 00:55:20,890
and I need to start cleaning up
877
00:55:20,891 --> 00:55:22,810
Sorry Dick hair
878
00:55:22,811 --> 00:55:24,570
Those weren't your parents
we met last night?
879
00:55:24,571 --> 00:55:26,683
My parents are in Cancun
880
00:55:26,684 --> 00:55:30,106
Yeah Yeah Right.
881
00:55:30,107 --> 00:55:32,730
If you say your parents aren't here,
882
00:55:32,731 --> 00:55:34,938
then we'll just believe that
your parents weren't here
883
00:55:34,939 --> 00:55:36,794
Maybe it was your aunt and uncle
884
00:55:36,795 --> 00:55:39,290
I don't care I came here to fuck
885
00:55:39,291 --> 00:55:40,794
and get fucked.
886
00:55:40,795 --> 00:55:43,930
And you know, I got fucked
last night Fucked good
887
00:55:43,931 --> 00:55:45,530
Okay Very funny
888
00:55:45,531 --> 00:55:47,258
The, uh, the joke's over
889
00:55:47,259 --> 00:55:49,306
This has been a delightful little prank
that you guys have played on me,
890
00:55:49,307 --> 00:55:51,866
but now it's time for you
to respect my wishes
891
00:55:51,867 --> 00:55:55,354
and please get the hell
out of my house!
892
00:55:55,355 --> 00:55:57,018
Yeah
893
00:55:57,019 --> 00:56:00,122
You're right
The whole thing was a prank
894
00:56:00,123 --> 00:56:02,361
After we invited you
for a threesome,
895
00:56:02,362 --> 00:56:06,938
I got blueberry yogurt and I smeared it
all over my face and your balls
896
00:56:06,939 --> 00:56:09,081
to make it look like
you fucked my mouth
897
00:56:09,082 --> 00:56:12,185
And then I dig my fingers
in my asshole
898
00:56:12,186 --> 00:56:15,386
and put some of my butt stink
on your hands
899
00:56:15,387 --> 00:56:19,641
And then I put some moisturizer
up on the ceiling
900
00:56:19,642 --> 00:56:21,689
to make it look like
you shoot a load up there
901
00:56:21,690 --> 00:56:24,537
Pooh! Yeah! All a joke
902
00:56:25,018 --> 00:56:28,280
Please just get the hell out
903
00:56:28,858 --> 00:56:31,639
- Fine
- Whatever
904
00:56:32,442 --> 00:56:35,409
Please, just... just leave
905
00:56:35,738 --> 00:56:38,160
Ooh So kind
906
00:56:47,737 --> 00:56:50,553
If you say
your parents aren't here,
907
00:56:50,554 --> 00:56:52,569
then we'll just believe
that your parents aren't here.
908
00:56:52,570 --> 00:56:55,766
Maybe it was your aunt and uncle.
Mm-hmm.
909
00:57:01,466 --> 00:57:04,793
Oh thank God
910
00:57:16,793 --> 00:57:19,128
Oh, please, God,
don't let them be home
911
00:57:19,129 --> 00:57:24,726
I swear I'll never drink again
just... just don't let them be here
912
00:57:30,201 --> 00:57:32,088
Hello
913
00:57:32,089 --> 00:57:35,830
So, you guys are home early
914
00:57:37,208 --> 00:57:39,957
Did you just get in?
915
00:57:43,001 --> 00:57:44,822
How was your second honeymoon?
916
00:57:46,552 --> 00:57:48,592
Oh! No!
917
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:54,102
Get the hell out of our sight
918
00:57:58,072 --> 00:57:59,500
Okay
919
00:58:00,152 --> 00:58:01,879
How could you!?
920
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,663
How could you!?
How could you!?
921
00:58:04,664 --> 00:58:06,605
Ohh!
922
00:58:11,864 --> 00:58:14,198
Len, can we talk?
923
00:58:14,552 --> 00:58:17,170
Um, just a minute
924
00:58:21,976 --> 00:58:24,279
What, you been doing a little
spackling work on the ceiling?
925
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:26,999
Oh, God, Dad, no This... it's not...
926
00:58:26,1000 --> 00:58:28,534
Your mother and I are
disgusted with you, Len
927
00:58:28,535 --> 00:58:29,655
Well, uh...
928
00:58:29,655 --> 00:58:31,607
Look at her
929
00:58:31,608 --> 00:58:33,463
- You don't understand
- Son,
930
00:58:33,464 --> 00:58:36,529
I have one question for you,
and I'm only gonna ask it once
931
00:58:37,079 --> 00:58:39,223
Have you been sneaking
behind our backs
932
00:58:39,224 --> 00:58:41,329
and being on a hidden camera show?
933
00:58:42,071 --> 00:58:44,111
- What?
- Look over there
934
00:58:45,848 --> 00:58:49,294
No No, no, no, no, no!
You didn't!
935
00:58:51,031 --> 00:58:53,398
They were in there
the whole time?
936
00:58:53,527 --> 00:58:55,022
Gotcha!
937
00:58:55,256 --> 00:58:56,342
No!
938
00:58:56,343 --> 00:58:57,590
Hey, buddy!
939
00:58:57,591 --> 00:59:00,437
Fuck anybody in their mouth
lately?
940
00:59:01,399 --> 00:59:02,710
Look at his face!
941
00:59:02,711 --> 00:59:04,406
How could you do this to me?
942
00:59:04,407 --> 00:59:06,130
Wait Who am I?
943
00:59:10,135 --> 00:59:13,811
We roofied you, honey
944
00:59:15,767 --> 00:59:17,366
Wait, wait, wait...
so I didn't fuck you
945
00:59:17,367 --> 00:59:18,453
and you didn't fuck me?
946
00:59:18,454 --> 00:59:21,389
Well, I fucked you a little,
but it wasn’t all faggy
947
00:59:29,590 --> 00:59:32,501
Mr. Tight Sphincter
ha ha ha ha!
948
00:59:32,502 --> 00:59:34,677
Mark
949
00:59:34,678 --> 00:59:37,142
Fellas, personal advice
from me to you:
950
00:59:37,143 --> 00:59:39,062
Get in there
and shave that shit up
951
00:59:39,063 --> 00:59:42,101
Visually, it will give yourself
an extra two or three inches
952
00:59:42,102 --> 00:59:44,629
If you're having anal intercourse,
953
00:59:44,630 --> 00:59:46,293
whatever you do,
954
00:59:46,294 --> 00:59:49,717
pull out and deposit your sperm
on her back
955
00:59:49,718 --> 00:59:52,469
She'll appreciate it in the long run
956
00:59:52,470 --> 00:59:55,381
Alcohol and sex don't mix
957
00:59:55,382 --> 00:59:57,973
Cocaine and sex
958
00:59:57,974 --> 01:00:00,981
If you don't have a rubber,
don't panic, whatever you do
959
01:00:00,982 --> 01:00:02,549
Watch this Ready?
960
01:00:02,550 --> 01:00:05,451
"Hold on a sec, babe
Lemme grab my jimmy hat"
961
01:00:07,574 --> 01:00:09,813
And then pantomime
962
01:00:09,814 --> 01:00:13,905
"Oh! It's so small! The rubber"
963
01:00:15,157 --> 01:00:18,068
And then
you lock and load
964
01:00:18,069 --> 01:00:20,687
She'll never know
965
01:00:21,302 --> 01:00:23,157
- Damn!
- Oh, my God!
966
01:00:23,158 --> 01:00:25,230
Ohh, what died?
967
01:00:25,846 --> 01:00:28,780
Girl, you gotta stop
being so comfortable!
968
01:00:32,117 --> 01:00:35,444
- Hey, pretty sweet field trip, huh?
- Yeah, it was cool
969
01:00:36,054 --> 01:00:38,322
So, Stacy,
I wanted to ask you something
970
01:00:38,773 --> 01:00:40,463
Hey, man, I'm gonna
catch you inside, all right?
971
01:00:41,365 --> 01:00:43,124
- Uh
- So what'd you want to tell me?
972
01:00:43,125 --> 01:00:44,564
You know what, it can wait
973
01:00:44,565 --> 01:00:47,124
Hey, man, fake any orgasms lately?
974
01:00:47,125 --> 01:00:49,426
- Fuck off
- What?
975
01:00:50,901 --> 01:00:52,052
Ew
976
01:00:52,053 --> 01:00:53,994
Are you okay?
977
01:00:54,293 --> 01:00:55,507
Yeah
978
01:00:55,508 --> 01:00:57,362
Why is that guy so tall?
979
01:00:58,005 --> 01:00:59,892
Great Yeah, I should be okay
980
01:00:59,893 --> 01:01:02,260
I'll just go try to clean up
before we eat
981
01:01:02,261 --> 01:01:04,912
- Uh, see you inside?
- Okay
982
01:01:11,700 --> 01:01:13,292
Sorry!
983
01:01:27,508 --> 01:01:28,979
Guys
984
01:01:28,980 --> 01:01:32,143
Can someone
help me get off the bus?
985
01:01:32,564 --> 01:01:34,472
Hello?
986
01:01:35,444 --> 01:01:38,259
- Hello?
Ah, there you are
987
01:01:38,260 --> 01:01:41,073
Everybody's waiting for you
Come on
988
01:01:44,723 --> 01:01:49,065
Oh, yeah
989
01:01:52,628 --> 01:01:56,555
- Oh, yeah
- Oh
990
01:01:59,283 --> 01:02:01,075
Licking, licking
991
01:02:01,076 --> 01:02:03,699
- Oh! Oh!
Suck, suck, suck!
992
01:02:03,700 --> 01:02:05,902
Oh, yeah!
993
01:02:08,435 --> 01:02:11,119
Keep 'em shakin'
994
01:02:13,364 --> 01:02:15,154
Show 'em to me
995
01:02:15,155 --> 01:02:16,583
Tits
996
01:02:17,523 --> 01:02:19,986
Ohh, yeah!
997
01:02:19,987 --> 01:02:21,458
That's it, Nance
998
01:02:21,459 --> 01:02:24,146
Cut!
Great job, girls
999
01:02:24,147 --> 01:02:26,642
Nancy, nice licking
1000
01:02:26,643 --> 01:02:28,781
Very good sucking, too
1001
01:02:29,107 --> 01:02:32,113
- Okay, he's here
- It's about time
1002
01:02:32,114 --> 01:02:33,298
Listen, I know it's your first day,
1003
01:02:33,299 --> 01:02:34,993
but we got some stuff to shoot,
all right?
1004
01:02:34,994 --> 01:02:36,561
- Uh... wha...
- Now, listen
1005
01:02:36,562 --> 01:02:38,898
The way I view this film,
1006
01:02:38,899 --> 01:02:41,873
it's a spiritual successor
to Rebel Without A Cause...
1007
01:02:41,874 --> 01:02:44,972
only with a lot more fucking Ha ha!
1008
01:02:45,491 --> 01:02:48,658
Uh, right Um, you guys,
I think there's been a small...
1009
01:02:48,658 --> 01:02:51,080
I'm really looking forward
to working with you
1010
01:02:51,699 --> 01:02:55,538
Jackie and I are especially curious
how you got the name Gigundo-cock
1011
01:02:55,539 --> 01:02:58,545
Oh, I can't wait to wrap
my hands around
1012
01:02:58,546 --> 01:03:00,785
the biggest penis in the biz
1013
01:03:00,786 --> 01:03:03,473
"Penis"? I haven't heard
that word for a long time
1014
01:03:03,474 --> 01:03:06,097
- I usually just call it "dinner"
- Mmm
1015
01:03:06,098 --> 01:03:08,171
Okay, everybody on set!
1016
01:03:10,130 --> 01:03:11,633
I told you they wouldn’t
have any beer
1017
01:03:11,634 --> 01:03:13,265
Oh, man, how was
I supposed to know?
1018
01:03:13,266 --> 01:03:16,113
- Oh, man! Sweet car!
Here's the scene:
1019
01:03:16,114 --> 01:03:18,481
You've just helped these girls
fix their car
1020
01:03:18,482 --> 01:03:21,265
And so to repay you,
you get to bang 'em
1021
01:03:21,266 --> 01:03:24,273
Now, Nancy right here,
she's gonna start by blowing you
1022
01:03:24,274 --> 01:03:26,736
Then you're gonna do
some back-door stuff with Jackie
1023
01:03:26,737 --> 01:03:28,785
Bro, check this out
1024
01:03:28,786 --> 01:03:31,057
After that,
just feel free to improvise
1025
01:03:31,058 --> 01:03:33,261
All right
1026
01:03:35,441 --> 01:03:37,200
Hey, you gonna need a fluffer?
1027
01:03:37,201 --> 01:03:38,728
Uh... uh...
1028
01:03:39,794 --> 01:03:41,232
All rightie
1029
01:03:41,233 --> 01:03:43,953
let's see that gigundo-cock
1030
01:03:43,954 --> 01:03:47,433
And action!
1031
01:03:47,569 --> 01:03:50,864
Thank you so much
for fixing our car
1032
01:03:50,865 --> 01:03:53,647
How can we ever repay you?
1033
01:04:06,417 --> 01:04:07,824
What?
1034
01:04:09,905 --> 01:04:13,136
- Cut!
- Hey, sorry I'm late
1035
01:04:13,137 --> 01:04:15,274
I'm Gigundo-cock
1036
01:04:17,745 --> 01:04:19,337
Damn
1037
01:04:25,104 --> 01:04:28,943
Yeah, I'm not Gigundo-cock
1038
01:04:28,944 --> 01:04:32,912
I'm just a small-town hick
1039
01:04:32,913 --> 01:04:36,592
An 18-year-old virgin
1040
01:04:36,593 --> 01:04:40,585
With a super-tiny dick
1041
01:04:41,232 --> 01:04:45,167
Kid, I've seen this once before
1042
01:04:45,168 --> 01:04:49,232
A boy who wished
he was Ang Lee
1043
01:04:49,232 --> 01:04:53,039
Found he couldn't
frame a shot
1044
01:04:53,040 --> 01:04:57,294
That's right,
that little boy was me
1045
01:04:57,712 --> 01:05:01,423
It wasn’t my first choice
1046
01:05:01,424 --> 01:05:04,718
My parents think
I'm in college
1047
01:05:05,584 --> 01:05:08,815
I thought I'd be doing theater
1048
01:05:08,816 --> 01:05:11,982
On Broadway
1049
01:05:11,983 --> 01:05:13,711
We're just accidentally
1050
01:05:13,712 --> 01:05:17,007
Incidentally, unintentionally
making porn
1051
01:05:17,008 --> 01:05:20,943
Accidentally, incidentally,
unintentionally
1052
01:05:20,943 --> 01:05:22,063
Making porn
1053
01:05:22,064 --> 01:05:26,536
Not me, I do it 'cause
I fuckin' like it
1054
01:05:27,728 --> 01:05:31,694
Girl-on-girl pays fifty bucks
1055
01:05:31,695 --> 01:05:35,502
I get double
for back-door fucks
1056
01:05:35,503 --> 01:05:39,662
How I got here
I'll never know
1057
01:05:39,663 --> 01:05:43,406
Beats Mexico
and that donkey show
1058
01:05:43,407 --> 01:05:45,518
All these tits
got me in the mood
1059
01:05:45,519 --> 01:05:47,790
We're the ones
who should be getting screwed
1060
01:05:47,791 --> 01:05:51,054
Let us be your man-whores
1061
01:05:51,055 --> 01:05:55,757
Will someone show these assholes
the door?
1062
01:05:57,710 --> 01:06:00,494
I found my home here
1063
01:06:00,495 --> 01:06:03,373
On this porn set
1064
01:06:03,374 --> 01:06:05,861
Better hurry up
or I won't stay wet
1065
01:06:25,166 --> 01:06:26,922
Fuck yeah!
1066
01:06:32,654 --> 01:06:35,851
Wow Thanks for being
so cool about everything
1067
01:06:36,366 --> 01:06:37,773
I feel like I should tell you, though,
1068
01:06:37,774 --> 01:06:40,077
I don't really think
this is the life for me
1069
01:06:40,078 --> 01:06:42,541
You've got balls, kid
1070
01:06:42,542 --> 01:06:44,685
very large balls
1071
01:06:44,686 --> 01:06:47,468
You show that kind of confidence
in real life,
1072
01:06:47,469 --> 01:06:50,764
you're gonna be fine, just fine
1073
01:06:51,598 --> 01:06:53,132
All right, let's reset
1074
01:06:53,133 --> 01:06:55,238
Back to one
1075
01:07:04,686 --> 01:07:06,765
Dude, what happened in there
after we left?
1076
01:07:06,766 --> 01:07:08,772
Yo, bro, do you know those chicks?
1077
01:07:16,941 --> 01:07:19,212
Yeah, Mike!
That's what I'm talkin' about!
1078
01:07:19,213 --> 01:07:21,351
Dude, yes!
1079
01:07:25,997 --> 01:07:27,786
Whoa
1080
01:07:28,621 --> 01:07:31,404
Look, Stacy
1081
01:07:31,405 --> 01:07:33,324
I'm not sexually experienced,
1082
01:07:33,325 --> 01:07:36,903
and I'm not some famous porn star
named Gigundo-cock
1083
01:07:37,869 --> 01:07:42,316
Look, I'm just some regular kid
who just wants to ask out a very
1084
01:07:42,317 --> 01:07:44,901
very beautiful girl
1085
01:07:46,188 --> 01:07:48,299
Don't call past 10:00
1086
01:07:48,300 --> 01:07:50,023
My dad'll kill me
1087
01:07:53,868 --> 01:07:57,861
Screw her for me, dude!
Yes!
1088
01:08:05,804 --> 01:08:08,107
Fellas, you gotta be respectful
of your ladies
1089
01:08:08,108 --> 01:08:10,635
Whatever you do, don't go around
your boys telling them
1090
01:08:10,636 --> 01:08:12,652
all the gruesome details
1091
01:08:12,653 --> 01:08:15,019
But me, on the other hand,
I'm married with two kids,
1092
01:08:15,020 --> 01:08:16,587
I like all dirty stuff
1093
01:08:16,588 --> 01:08:19,851
This website will go directly to me,
and only me
1094
01:08:19,852 --> 01:08:23,371
Send me all pictures,
streaming videos, letters...
1095
01:08:23,371 --> 01:08:25,163
as bizarre as you want
1096
01:08:25,164 --> 01:08:27,435
I'll read them all,
and masturbate all night
1097
01:08:27,436 --> 01:08:30,152
Thank you I'm Matthew Lillard
1098
01:08:36,652 --> 01:08:38,667
She's got that kind of booty
1099
01:08:38,668 --> 01:08:40,427
Little mama,
come here and do me
1100
01:08:40,428 --> 01:08:42,187
She's got that kind of booty
1101
01:08:42,188 --> 01:08:43,915
The type that'll drive you looney
1102
01:08:43,916 --> 01:08:47,499
She's got that kind of booty,
pack it up and bring it to me
1103
01:08:47,500 --> 01:08:50,730
Smack it up, let's make a movie,
she's got that kind of booty
1104
01:08:50,731 --> 01:08:54,379
Shake that booty, cutie,
up and down and all around
1105
01:08:54,380 --> 01:08:57,867
That big ol' juicy brown ass,
Shorty, go to town
1106
01:08:57,868 --> 01:09:01,418
Kick it smooth like Luther Vandy,
so good, like chewing candy
1107
01:09:01,419 --> 01:09:04,938
In the middle of M-I-ami,
come and sit down on my jammy
1108
01:09:04,939 --> 01:09:06,506
We can do it in a big ol' bed
1109
01:09:06,507 --> 01:09:08,362
Long as you give me
good ol' head
1110
01:09:08,363 --> 01:09:11,914
Yeah, girl, that's what I said,
no, girl, you don't get no bread
1111
01:09:11,915 --> 01:09:13,578
She's got that kind of booty
1112
01:09:13,579 --> 01:09:15,402
Little mama,
come here and do me
1113
01:09:15,403 --> 01:09:18,826
She's got that kind of booty,
the type that'll drive you looney
1114
01:09:18,827 --> 01:09:20,586
She's got that kind of booty
1115
01:09:20,587 --> 01:09:22,314
Pack it up and bring it to me
1116
01:09:22,315 --> 01:09:24,105
Smack it up,
let's make a movie
1117
01:09:24,106 --> 01:09:25,706
She's got that kind of booty
1118
01:09:25,707 --> 01:09:27,402
Shorty got that fat ass
1119
01:09:27,403 --> 01:09:29,130
Gets 'em harder than a math class
1120
01:09:29,131 --> 01:09:32,649
Smilin', don't you act up,
just stop and back up
1121
01:09:32,650 --> 01:09:36,202
Go ahead and drop that ass low,
be easy movin' that slow
1122
01:09:36,202 --> 01:09:39,817
Nobody has to know,
we in the corner, though
1123
01:09:39,818 --> 01:09:43,338
You sippin' champagne,
I'm drinking cognac
1124
01:09:43,339 --> 01:09:46,570
You do that damn thing,
I get to bone that
1125
01:09:46,570 --> 01:09:48,457
She's got that kind of booty
1126
01:09:48,458 --> 01:09:50,249
Little mama,
come here and do me
1127
01:09:50,250 --> 01:09:52,041
She's got that kind of booty
1128
01:09:52,042 --> 01:09:53,801
The type that'll drive you looney
1129
01:09:53,802 --> 01:09:55,465
She's got that kind of booty
1130
01:09:55,466 --> 01:09:57,257
Pack it up and bring it to me
1131
01:09:57,258 --> 01:09:58,953
Smack it up, let's make a movie
1132
01:09:58,954 --> 01:10:00,617
She's got that kind of booty
1133
01:10:00,618 --> 01:10:04,105
Shake that booty,
sh-sh-shake, shake, shake
1134
01:10:04,106 --> 01:10:07,369
Shake that booty,
sh-sh-shake, shake, shake
1135
01:10:07,370 --> 01:10:11,273
Up and down the stripper pole,
got that body all swole
1136
01:10:11,274 --> 01:10:14,632
You know my package, right?
You can stay the whole night
1137
01:10:14,633 --> 01:10:17,801
Lady, what you gotta do
is keep me in the back of you
1138
01:10:17,802 --> 01:10:21,385
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